In the Shadow of Moonlight - Ch. 16

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#16 of In the Shadow of Moonlight

A young woman becomes a werewolf and finds she strongly identifies with her wolf side. Eventually she must choose between the human world and the wild.

Sophia explores her new found wolf side with Shadow.

Feel free to leave constructive criticism, ideas or other comments! I welcome and appreciate any feedback given!


Chapter 16

'I'm a werewolf tonight', really Sophia? That's the first thing you say? Sophia felt her ears flattening themselves against her head, as though they were trying to hide. Okay, keep it together, he's a wolf, not a human.

The shock of seeing him started to wear off and her brain started to work again. Overriding the strong desire to run over and greet him, she angled her knees as she grabbed her pants and hastily pulled them up. For his part, Shadow just stood there watching, his eyes and ears alert and tail gently wagging.

Why can't I think straight? It felt like every part of her was focused on Shadow at that moment, especially his scent.

Like her own scent, his scent was akin to a fingerprint that was uniquely his. Where hers was a strange mix of human and wolf, his was entirely wolf. His scent contained other information, like he was male, young, vital, confident, strong - she just wanted to lose herself forever in it...

Where is my sweatshirt? Sophia tried to distract herself while she felt around for it, although her eyes didn't leave the wolf.

Shadow's scent became suffused with what she immediately recognized to be uncertainty and concern. Sophia faltered in her search for her sweatshirt as her instincts screamed at her to go greet him. She wanted to nuzzle him, entangle her fur with hers, snuggle into his big, strong body...

There it is! Sophia's claws snagged on the fabric of her sweatshirt and she triumphantly grabbed it, before slipping it over her head.

Reacting to the unexpected movement, Shadow whined and yipped anxiously, 'you okay?'

Sophia fell over in surprise as she slipped her arms through the sleeves. It hadn't been words, but somehow her brain had combined the wolf's sounds, scent and body language to produce meaning similar to human language. There was more there she could tell, but the rest was frustratingly out of reach.

Shadow's scent became even more concerned as she fell, and she heard him trot over to her and whine, 'hurt?'

"I'm okay!" Sophia exclaimed reassuringly as she struggled to prop herself back up.

'Not wolf speak?' Shadow made a series of sounds, Sophia's mind again automatically combining the sounds with subtle changes in his scent to convey meaning.

Despite the wolf's obvious confusion, his body relaxed and his ears and tail rose. His worry ebbing, she couldn't help noticing his scent held a certain amount of... interest. With nothing else to distract her, Sophia could stand it no longer. Using her hands and feet, she propelled herself the last couple of feet separating them. Her little jump actually carried her past Shadow with her side brushing his muzzle. As soon as her feet and hands hit the ground, she pushed off again while twisting in midair to face him. Shadow responded by jumping and pivoting in place, his tail wagging.

Shadow made several noises, many too high pitched for a human ear, 'strange two legged wolf more wolf.'

Sophia wasn't sure how to respond to that, but moved towards Shadow and started sniffing his face. Shadow sniffed her face in return before giving her a lick across her cheek. Sophia giggled, and playfully returned the lick.

Shadow gave a short huff and series of high pitched sounds, 'friend'.

Pure joy flooded through Sophia, and she reacted by nuzzling his muzzle. A slight shiver ran across her skin as Shadow's fur tickled her face. Muscles attached to her tail nub twitched and her ears perked straight out.

"Friend," she confirmed quietly; as badly as she wanted to communicate the same way as her companion, she didn't think her human anatomy could reproduce the sound.

Their greetings complete, they continued to sniff the length of each other's bodies. For Sophia, it was like getting to know Shadow for the first time. Where sight only gave surface impressions, her sense of smell seemed to convey his very essence. What astounded her even more was how his scent changed subtly in response to his emotions.

Shadow suddenly stepped around her rear. Without even thinking, she adjusted her legs to give him access to her scent gland.

'Strange fur?' he whined, sounding perplexed. 'Block scent?'

"Oh!" Sophia exclaimed in embarrassment as she realized her pants were covering up her musk. "Sorry."

Reaching back with one hand, she lowered her pants partway down her butt and readjusted her stance. The muscles in her lower back reflexively contracted in an unnecessary attempt to move her tail nub out of the way. She felt Shadow's warm breath against her rear as he leaned in to sniff her scent. The two stood like that for a long moment. Finally, Sophia felt a strong burst of air and then nothing as Shadow's nose turned away from her behind, his scent satisfied.

My turn! Sophia pulled her sweats back up and then turned before moving closer to Shadow.

She reached his backside, and without thinking, stuck her nose beneath his tail. If she thought the scent on the rest of his body was a hefty book, the gland below his anus was like a library. It told her what he had last eaten, where he had traveled recently, his physical health...

What am I doing? She inhaled his strong musk slowly, a wave of euphoria running through her. Strong, healthy, he'd make a fine mate.

She recoiled at the unexpected thought, jerking her head away from his rear in horror and dismay. No! That's the wolf instinct's talking not me!

Sensing her sudden shift in mood, Shadow lowered his tail and turned his head to look at her. His scent took on a tinge of embarrassment and fear.

He made a whining sound, 'I sick?'

"No!" Sophia responded sharply as she shifted into a squatting position.

Shadow's ears flattened as he flinched at the sudden loud noise.

"You smell amazing... I mean strong... uh, healthy!" she fumbled her words as her cheeks warmed. "Smelling butts is just really gross. Not that wolves are gross!"

Shadow huffed, his scent confused. 'Friend wolf and not wolf. Not understand.'

Sophia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her mind swirled with unfamiliar sensations, emotion and desires, unsure exactly where she ended and where the wolf began. It had been fun before, but Shadow's presence was exciting the wolf side and threatening to overwhelm the human side of her.

Alright, I'm a wolf girl, not a wolf, Sophia exhaled, trying to center herself.

"I'm just worried about losing myself", she admitted at last. "I like being a werewolf, really like you... as a friend and want to explore the woods with you, but this is all new to me."

Shadow suddenly raised his head, cocked his ears and looked at her, 'friend hungry!'

Sophia laughed, "yes, that too. Very hungry."

The wolf turned and started to run before he turned to look at her expectantly, his scent eager.

"Alright, I'm coming," Sophia assured him and started trudging towards him.

Shadow turned and started trotting at a pace that forced Sophia into a jog. The wolf led her deeper into the mountains, stopping whenever he got too far ahead. Frozen branches scraped her exposed face and tore at her clothes. Her legs burned and she gasped for air as they made their way up and down the rolling terrain. A few times, Shadow stopped to sniff something of interest, but would invariably start moving again before Sophia could examine it herself or even catch her breath.

After what seemed like an eternity, Shadow stopped in a small valley, looked at her and made a rumbling noise, 'wait'.

Sophia stopped immediately, her claws audibly scraping rocks buried in the snow as her toes curled down. The foliage was thinner in the valley and the moon glinted brightly off the snow, forcing her to squint. Her ears picked up the muffled sound of moving water, indicating a stream was somewhere nearby. In between ragged breaths, she intently sniffed the air and listened for what Shadow had sensed. There was a whiff of an animal in the air, but Sophia couldn't identify it or figure out what direction it was coming from.

Shadow, a far more experienced hunter, paced a bit while sniffing the ground before his ears and tail went straight up. His scent became excited, yet focused, and Sophia found herself tensing in response. In a burst of motion, he took off at a speed Sophia couldn't hope to match down the valley. She watched him run until he disappeared from view before sighing.

Nothing to do but wait I guess, her stomach growled and her mouth felt parched. I didn't bring anything to drink.

Looking around the valley, all she could see was snow and the occasional large rock protruding through the wintery blanket. Yet, the sound of moving water echoed loudly in her ears.

Where is that coming from? She carefully stepped forward, ears straining.

It was then that it dawned on her that not only could she hear it, but that she could smell it. Her nose could pick up the elevated concentration of water molecules in the air along with the dissolved minerals the stream carried. Crouching, she sniffed around and found the direction where the scent seemed to be strongest. Getting up, she took a few steps forward and crouched down again. The sound of moving water was even louder now, and the smell heavily permeated the air.

It should be around here somewhere, Sophia intently examined the snow covered ground. Ah ha!

A couple feet away, around the base of a large rock, a hole in the snow had formed. Peering closer, she saw the surface layer of the stream had frozen as a thin layer of ice while the water underneath continued to flow. On the side opposite the stream's flow, ice had not been able to form. Despite the hole being in the rock's shadow, her eyes could still make out the movement of the water.

Eagerly, she dropped onto her hands to crawl the last couple of steps to the water. Bending her arm, she lowered her head towards the hole and sniffed at the water. It smelled strongly of various minerals and metals, but nothing that her wolf instincts considered potentially dangerous. Unable to wait any longer, she extended her tongue. An icy shock stabbed her tongue as it contacted the water, but she was too thirsty to care. She lapped at the water, greedily trying to draw the life sustaining liquid into her mouth.

Why can't I..? Sophia withdrew to stare at the icy current in consternation. My tongue isn't working right.

For all her effort, she had been unable to do much more than wet the inside of her mouth. The end of her tongue simply couldn't bend to form a cup like a proper wolf's.

Of all the things that didn't change... Sophia stared at the stream, frustrated. How am I supposed to..?

A distant memory tugged at her and she looked down at her paws in the snow.

No, not paws, leaning back, she took the weight off her paw-hands and lifted one. I think I do this?

Concentrating, she formed a cup with her hand before dipping it in the shallow stream. The water was icy cold and her hand went numb as soon as she put it in, but clear water pooled into it. She lifted her hand out and stared at the water, unsure of what to do next.

Why is this so difficult? She tentatively stuck her tongue into her cupped hand. I should know how to use my paw... hand.

Again, she failed to get any water up.

My hand... I'm letting my wolf control me again, she shook her head, trying to clear it. So thirsty...

At last, an image of her sucking up the water from her hand broke through the haze. Quickly, she brought her hand to her mouth and slurped noisily. At long last, cool, refreshing liquid poured down her throat. Shifting her weight onto her knees, she formed a bowl with both hands and shoved it underneath the water. Finally able to quench her thirst, she greedily drank until she was sated.

I really forgot how to use my hands, Sophia stared uneasily at the claws and pads on her hands. It would have been fun to lap up the water with my tongue though. Using my hands just doesn't feel right.

Looking up at the sky, she saw the Moon was just above the western mountains. The air was still and there were no signs of nearby life. Only the sound of the stream filled her ears. Her stomach rumbled as she knelt there. Now that her thirst had been taken care of, ravenous hunger washed over her. She'd need to eat before she changed again.

Where is Shadow? She sniffed the air, searching for a hint of her friend. I hope he comes back soon.

As if on cue, a howl echoed through the hills lining the stream. Her ears perked up and her heart leapt. Looking in the direction Shadow had disappeared, Sophia sniffed the air while her eyes scanned the valley. Unfortunately, the still air in the valley meant no scent reached her and everything more than a few dozen yards away strangely became too blurry for her to make anything out.

Another howl broke the silence, and this time she understood he was telling her to come to him. Without hesitating, she leapt to her feet and started running down the creekbed. It was difficult running on the rocky, snow covered terrain, but her pads and claws gave her a surprising amount of traction. While still awkward, she was starting to get the hang of running on the soles of her feet.

After a few minutes of running, her nose flared as she picked up a scent she now readily recognized as Shadow's. Now, however, another scent was mixed with his, and her brain immediately recognized it from earlier in the night - blood. Briefly panicking, she quickly confirmed it wasn't Shadow's - or any other wolf's for that matter. Both scents led her away from the stream and up onto a forested saddle nestled between two hills. Her gait slowed as she was forced to pick her way through brush and trees as the land sloped upward.

'Two legged wolf very noisy,' Shadow chuffed disapprovingly from out of nowhere, causing Sophia to jump.

"Oh, sorry," Sophia quietly apologized, abashed.

Pausing, she took in her surroundings, trying to find her friend. The wolf's scent and sound came from a stand of young pines a few yards ahead of her. Leading up to the trees was the strong scent of blood which intensified as she got closer. Leading under the tree, a deep furrow had been dug into the snow. A few dark spots discolored the otherwise pure white powder. Mindful of the wolf's admonishment, Sophia slowed her gait and did her best to avoid disturbing the stiff, low-lying branches.

Do I make this much noise all the time? Even being careful, every movement she made or breath she took resulted in a cacophony in her sensitive ears. It's a wonder I ever see any animals.

Reaching the stand of young evergreens, she saw the deer laying on its side first, its neck at an unnatural angle. It had been a young buck judging by the small set of antlers protruding from its head. Laying in the snow next to it was Shadow, his scent and body language pleased.

'Eat!' Shadow chuffed excitedly as Sophia dropped onto her knees.

He wants me to... eat the deer? Sophia blinked in surprise.

Despite her ravenous hunger, a feeling of horror and disgust flashed through her as she stared at the brown furred animal laying at her knees. It had been a living creature not more than a few minutes before and she couldn't help feeling regret at its fate. At the same time, excitement and anticipation were present too. She could smell the deer's blood and its promise of fresh, nutritious meat. The memory of the taste of the rabbit's blood bubbled up and her mouth watered.

Maybe, just a taste? Sophia felt herself leaning forward. It smells so good, and it would be rude not to.

'Bad?' Shadow whined, his scent uncertain.

"No," Sophia reassured him and bent towards the carcass.

Finding where Shadow's teeth had punctured the buck's neck, she hesitantly stuck out her tongue towards the dark liquid still oozing from the fatal wound and ran her tongue over it. As soon as she drew her tongue into her mouth, pure pleasure coursed through her. Just the taste whispered of more delicacies to come. Her repulsion and disgust, conditioned residuals from her human physiology, faded away. Blood wasn't enough however, her transformed body needed meat.

The softest tissue is in the rear, Sophia shifted to the flank of the animal. How do I know that?

Bending over, she pressed her nose into the animal's hindquarters and hooked her sharp teeth into its skin before pulling. To her surprise, her sharp teeth easily tore the skin, revealing the underlying muscle. Adjusting her bite, she chomped down on a flap of skin and widened the opening. Once more, she let go of the skin and leaned in for another bite. This time, her teeth bit into sinewy muscle and fat. She tore a small piece, leaned back and swallowed it. All higher thought dissolved and she eagerly leaned in for more.

Sophia found herself staring at the half eaten remains of the deer. The stomach had been completely torn open and its innards were gone; the flank was largely just bones now and one of the hindlegs was missing. Shadow was on her left, busily cleaning off the muscle of one of the forelegs, occasionally withdrawing to look for potential threats. The pain of hunger had disappeared from her own belly and she felt almost uncomfortably full. Her palms were completely numb, as were her knees, and the snow around the carcass was trampled and stained dark.

I... ate a deer, a strange mixture of elation and horror at that elation surged through her. And I enjoyed it.

Crawling backwards, her paw-hand hit the detached rear leg of the unfortunate buck. Vaguely, she remembered dragging the leg away from the kill with her teeth so she could tear at the muscle on the shank. The skin was stripped, and she was well aware she had eaten it, fur and all.

What happens to it all when I change back? She licked at some blood that clung to the back of her hand before placing it in her armpit. I hope it doesn't make me sick. Oh, oops, my sweatshirt is covered in gore.

The sweatshirt's fabric felt wet and slimy against the back of her hand. Looking down, she could see white fur clinging to her sweatshirt and her shirt was pungent with the smell of the deer's blood and other juices.

There's no way I'll be able to get it clean, I guess I'll need a new sweatshirt.

Shadow's scent shifted and he turned his head to look at her, his own muzzle and the underside of his neck spattered with blood and gore. Despite the state of his fur, she couldn't help admiring his strong neck and handsome mane.

'Eat?' he chuffed questioningly.

"I'm really full," Sophia told him. "Thank you."

Shadow's scent remained puzzled, but he seemed to at least understand she was finished. He turned back to the deer and resumed eating. As he turned, Sophia backed out from under the pines before rising up on the pads of her feet. The movement jostled her bladder and she nearly lost control of it then and there.

"I'll be back," she told Shadow before stiffly padding through the snow behind some brush.

The skin surrounding her finger pads and on her palms was starting to feel hot and painful. Fumbling with the waistband of the sweatpants, she heard and felt her claws tear the fabric. After lowering her pants and getting to all fours, she relieved herself. The scent of her urine reached her nose, and she noted a distinct new smell laced with her own scent. Curious, she rotated her body to investigate the still steaming waste.

Huh, it smells like the deer, she bent in closely, sniffing. The scent of the deer's blood is strongest, but I can make out other scents too. Cool.

Standing, she pulled her pants back up and froze as she glanced at the night sky and felt herself go cold.

Oh no, how long has it been since the moon sank behind the mountains? She tried to remember when she had last seen the bright orb. How much time do I have left? I need to go home before I change back.

'Danger?' Shadow whined, his scent worried.

"I have to go home," Sophia told him regretfully as she arrived back at the tree. "I think I'm going to change soon."

Shadow emerged from under the tree, his scent alert ears raised and fur standing on end. When he saw there weren't any threats, his muscles and fur relaxed.

'Leave?' His scent was confused and... was that rejection?

Despite her anxiety, Sophia hesitated. She wanted nothing more than to spend more time with Shadow and the very thought of parting with him hurt. They had spent so little of the night together, and she had no idea how long she actually had before reverting. Being fully human felt like a distant memory now. There was only the wilderness and the longing for the company of other wolves. A longing for the company of the male wolf right in front of her.

But I'm only temporarily a wolf, aren't I? She looked at her not quite paws, the exposed skin on her hands itched like crazy now. I'm not a full wolf now and that's not enough to live out here.

"I want to stay with you," she admitted sorrowfully. "It's too dangerous though."

On a whim, she got onto her still aching paw-hands and padded up to her friend. Leaning in, she nuzzled Shadow's muzzle with her cheek before giving him a lick across his lips. After a moment's hesitation, Shadow gave her several licks in return. His scent was sad, but accepting.

"Thank you, Shadow."

Before she could change her mind, she quickly got to her feet and stiffly walked away from her friend. It felt as though a hole formed and widened in her chest as she left, and every step felt heavy. His scent was still thick in the air and it took all her will to not turn around. As his scent waned, continuing forward became easier, but the emotional hole inside her did not grow smaller.

As she exited the trees and descended into the valley containing the creekbed, her skin began to tingle. Sniffing the air, she retraced Shadow and her steps as quickly as she could. It wasn't long before her lungs burned and legs ached. As she passed the place where she had drunk from the stream, her left foot slipped into a hole hidden by the snow. Stride interrupted, her body fell forward and she felt her right leg scrape against a rock.

"Ahh!" she exclaimed in pain as the strong scent of blood entered her nose - her blood.

No, no, no, panic gripped her as she saw the large gash through the tear in her sweatpants. I have to keep moving.

Struggling to her feet, a lupine sounding whine escaped her as a sharp pain flashed through her leg as she took a step. The cold wind stung as it blew against her exposed flesh. Limping, she forced herself forward despite her wolf's counsel to find somewhere secluded so she could rest and tend to her wound.

To her dismay, the scent of her blood was making it difficult to follow her earlier path which further slowed her. Finding the spot where she and Shadow had entered the valley, she stopped to sniff a tree she had brushed against earlier. After confirming the direction she needed to go, Sophia continued on.

I'm not going to make it in time, despair started to grip her as she realized the path she and Shadow had blazed was anything but straight.

After following a couple more twists and turns in their path, all hope faded. Her legs buckled beneath her and she fell onto her knees, panting. Pain emanated from her injury as it contacted the ground, but she was too tired to care. The tingling sensation had intensified and she wrapped her arms around herself as a chill went through her. Even her ears drooped and the muscles in her lower back had given up on trying to control her tail nub. The scratches and cuts on her face stung in the icy wind.

Wait, what is that? Her nose twitched. It doesn't seem... natural?

The scents had been present all night, but had been faint and her wolf had told her they were something to be avoided. Now, though, the olfactory section of her brain latched onto them. They were strange, unnatural even. It was like they stood apart from the welcoming scents of animals and plants of the mountains. Yet, there was something about them that grabbed her interest now.

Leaning her head back, she took in long inhales through her nose. They were faint, but seemed strongest in one particular direction...

Sophia's eyes widened, "cars!"

It was her human brain that had finally recognized what her wolf nose was detecting. The distinctive smells of oil and gas alongside other distinctly artificial scents were being carried by the wind into the mountains. There was just enough that made it into the valley for her to identify it.

If I follow that scent, maybe I can find my way out of here, hope filled Sophia as she stood.

The tingling sensation was growing stronger and she was starting to feel perspiration on her palms despite the cold air. Ignoring the sharp pain in her leg, she began moving with renewed vigor. Her nose led her along a winding path through the hills. Occasionally, the hills channeled air currents from other directions, but they always lacked the distinctive mix of chemicals that could only be from human activity.

After half an hour, she at last glimpsed the lights of the town through the trees. By this time, her body felt like it was vibrating, her heart strained to keep blood circulating fast enough and steam poured from her mouth. Not even pausing to catch her breath and revel in her relief at seeing the town, she half ran, half tumbled down the last slope between her and home. By the time she reached the bottom, she had accumulated a large number of additional scrapes and bruises. Mercifully, her nose had brought her within sight of the line of buildings her home belonged to.

Just have to cross the field... The distance seemed impossibly far and she felt as though she would collapse from exhaustion. No time to find my boots and backpack.

The wolf inside her begged her not to approach; the odor of human habitation made her nose wrinkle and turned her stomach. Too close to her goal to be deterred now, her adrenaline surged. Drawing on her last reserves of energy, she dashed across the field, gasping for air.

Please, just another minute, she begged the forces she felt welling up inside her as she half crawled across her yard. Almost home.

Tears streaming down her face, hand-paw shaking, her pads and claws audibly scraped against the glass as she slid her rear door open. Somehow, she had the presence of mind to push it closed before stumbling down the hall and into her bedroom. Expending the last of her strength, she shut her bedroom door before clearing the distance to her bed in two strides. There, she collapsed onto her mattress and pressed her face into her pillow to muffle her screams.