FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"OMG. Text your boyfriend. He keeps checking his phone," Rayner read Olive's text twice as Victor drove them out of the city. Trying his best to make sure that his dad couldn't see his phone probably didn't do him any favours, but he was worried about if there would be any fallout from this morning. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Victor had made a comment about how Rayner should make more friends like Gab.

Opening the tab for Gab, Rayner tried multiple times to write a message but ended up on the following, "Hey love, how's the treatment going? Sorry about this morning again. I should have paid better attention to the time. Dad seems to like you though."

A quick cascade of messages followed,

"He likes me?"

"Does he know?"

"I'm think your roommates know."

"I'm sorry I followed you out."

"Your good," Rayner texted back, smiling to himself, "Everythings good. Yes and no. Dad keeps saying I need to make more friends like you."

"Oh?"

"City wolves with manners," Rayner explained, "He wants you to eat more though. Apparently I'm getting food to bring back for you."

"That's kind :)" Gab wrote back, "I don't have anywhere to store it?"

"Welcome to my life," Rayner had to bite his tongue while he wrote that sitting so close to his father, "They kept trying to send me food when I lived in the dorms. And dont worry about my roommates. Hows your treatment going?"

"Hasn't started," Gab quickly responded, "Another ten minutes I think. I should probably get ready. I'll text after it's done. Love you :)"

"Have fun," Rayner responded, he couldn't help but smile at that, "Love you too :)"

Rayner put his phone down on his leg and looked out the window for only a couple seconds before he felt another buzz.

"We're good though?" Rayner saw Gab's message in his notifications.

"Yes," Rayner responded as quickly as he could before explaining, "This morning was chaotic. I trust you more. You did better than I did."

"I'm glad. Thank you," Gab wrote back, "Okay I'm going in. Love you again. :)"

"Love you too." Rayner shook his head as he wrote.

Rayner laughed to himself as he put away his phone. Even in his anxious state, Gab had been polite and actually mimicked Ranyer's actions exactly. Maybe it was because of his state? Rayner figured they would debrief after he got back or, more likely, on a call one evening. Thinking quickly, he pulled his phone back out and thanked Olive.

"Everything okay?" Victor asked as they passed another overpass. The roads were relatively quiet, as most did their travelling last night.

"Yeah, just texting Olive," Rayner explained as he finished up the text.

Victor didn't seem to answer Rayner, and it wasn't till they had reached the turnoff to Pinewood that he realised how he had sounded. Well, it was too late to change it at that point. Plus, if he had an excuse to be on his phone texting Gab without getting questioned, maybe this would work. He was surprised his parents were okay with the idea of him dating Olive, though.

The hall came into view, and raised his heart just before the smell hit him. The cows were near, and with it being wet out, the smell was pungent. The idea of blowing this air into his fur was all of a sudden a really unfortunate reality. Rayner had to. He took his paw, ran it through his side, and took a good patch of hair. Rolling down the window, he let it go out into the breeze and looking around it seemed like all the trees had little tufts of fur stuck in them. Bird nests.

As they came into the parking lot, wolves like Rayner were bringing supplies in from other four-by-fours as well as a larger delivery truck the Pack bought years ago. The poor thing was starting to rust around the edges, but the Pack tried to keep it running the best they could.

Rayner waved to Victor, grabbed his bags, and went off to the family home, saying he'd be back shortly. Victor just gave him a thumbs up and started unpacking with the rest. Dropping his bags in the room he shared with Carl, Rayner rechecked his texts and smiled when he saw one from Gab saying that he was all done and one from Olive asking him if he sent Gab something that Kacy would have. Replying back quickly, he tried to make his way back out.

"Rayner?" Tess called from somewhere in the house.

"Yeah?" Rayner called back.

"Can I show you the plan before we get working this afternoon?" Tess asked.

"Sure," Rayner sighed and frowned, of course they would be starting right away. Whatever, life is what it was.

Wandering around, Rayner found Tess in her room with a couple of sheets of paper spread out on the board she had set out on her bed to work. Sitting down and looking at it, it looked like they didn't have it too bad. She had three sets of calves to go through and make sure they had everything up to date.

"Carl's helping Uncle Anthony with their set now, so we get help," Tess explained before she pointed to the first sheet, "these twenty should go fast, but I think the set of fifty by the old creek barn are," Tess stopped to give a couple of deep sniffs of the air. Giving Rayner a bit of a smile she asked, "Did you have fun this morning?"

"What? Why?" Rayner asked defensively as Tess leaned over and sniffed him. Tucking his ears back he tried to see if he could smell anything out of the ordinary.

"Wild guess, but you and the wolf are dating now?" Tess asked quietly, looking out the door, "What was his name?"

"Oh fuck, I don't smell that much, do I?" Rayner asked, almost in a panic and tried to pat himself down.

"Hey!" Tess yelled, "I just got all my fur out. I don't need rut fur everywhere."

"Tess!?" Rayner hissed and looked out the door.

"There's no one here, Rayner," Tess argued, "or shouldn't be. Mom's out with Aunt Laudie."

"Okay," Rayner muttered and then looked down at himself and saw a patch of matted fur on the side of his leg, "Shit!"

"Second guess, Dad knows?" Tess asked as she followed his stare. Holding back a laugh she shook her head.

"No," Rayner groaned, "He met Gab but he thinks we are friends."

"How?" Tess asked, loudly disbelieving the statement.

"Jack's rather powerful right now," Rayner explained, "I'm pretty sure Dad can only smell fox."

"You are stupid lucky," Tess laughed, leaning in and taking another sniff, "Mostly stupid. I could probably find Gab in a mall right now. Wash yourself off and go blow your fur out immediately, or the entire Pack is going to be able to as well."

"Thanks," Rayner said as he got up and ran to the bathroom.

Quickly stripping down, he tried to find the bottle of no-scent fur wash around all his mother's and sister's speciality products. Rayner figured he didn't need to smell like a moonlight river ride or whatever that was when there was a high probability that he was going to get pooped on. Groaning, he found the bottle almost empty.

"Here, use this. It'll get everything out," Tess demanded as she opened the door to the washroom fully. Rayner turned to look at her and saw her holding the stuff she used to get the smell of heat out of her fur. Sneezing once, Tess complained, "Skoll above, you smell like heat."

"What?" Rayner groaned.

He never got a response, Tess set the bottle down and closed the door without another word. As bad as it was, he had only gotten his shirt off. After getting everything off he looked down at himself and got another surprise. There, peaking out of his sheath was the top of the condom that he had put on just before Gab had pressed himself against Rayner.

Taking it off sent shivers racing up and down Rayner's spine but filled the room even more intensely with the scent of his longing. Thanking everything and anything out there that no one had been around for this, Rayner started up the shower and tried his best to hide away his feelings.

The wash smelt acrid when he finally got the bottle open. It felt nice to brush it in, though. Regardless of how careful Rayner tried to be, he had to clean out the filter on the drain a couple of times as it was catching a lot of his shedding. He wondered at one point if there was any reason to go out and get a once over with the air compressor after this. At least this was better than smelling like a cow.

Drying off took forever and a half like it always did. The fur dryer that his mother had gotten was both powerful and had enough attachments even to get his undercoat, but it still took time. Not as much as Josh probably would have taken, but wolves still have a lot of fur.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Rayner saw a thinner version of the off-white wolf with the same amber eyes he was used to. Frowning, he pinched his stomach and arms and wondered if going to the gym more would at least bring him up to looking like Tess. Carl was out of the picture for him, and Victor was definitely years worth of work and diet away if he could manage it at all. Weird being home and small again after being so close to Gab.

Sighing, Rayner left the bathroom and went to search for his clothes. The bags in his room were gone, though and he heard a suspicious lack of Tess. Walking around in his fur, Rayner looked for his sister and wherever she had hidden his stuff. Realising that she wasn't in the house anymore made him angry because it meant that she probably took his stuff to get cleaned.

"Tess, where are my clothes?" Rayner asked loudly as she closed the front door with a now empty bag.

"Being washed," Tess argued back instantly.

"What the fuck am I supposed to wear then?" Rayner hissed.

"Anything of Carl's," Tess shot back like it was apparent.

"What? No," Rayner grumbled, frowning at Tess, "Why did you take all of them?"

"Smell this," Tess said as she opened Rayner's bag and handed it to him.

Taking a long slow draw, Rayner was surprised by how much of Gab's scent he could pick up. Granted, everything he had put in this bag had been on the floor, it still shouldn't have been this bad. Had he packed any clean clothes? Rayner realised he probably hadn't in the moments leading up to the dash to the door.

"Okay, ew, that's enough of that," Tess said quietly as she closed the bag back up and handed it to him relatively low.

"You're the one who took my clothes," Rayner argued, looking down to see himself just starting to peek out of his sheath. Quietly, he said to himself, "Maybe I should have finished."

"Like we have time for you to play with yourself," Tess muttered, shaking her head she walked back to her room to grab the notes she made, "Just pick something close to what you own that Carl has, and let's go."

"Fine," Rayner grumbled as he walked to Carl's dresser. The worst thing about wearing Carl's clothes, to Rayner, was how loose they were on him but how normal they were on Carl.

"Also," Tess yelled from the other room, "Dad was looking for you."

"Damn it," Rayner groaned, "I was supposed to help him."

"He said that," Tess yelled, "I told him you needed to un-fox yourself with how you smelt. He seemed understanding."

"I hate you," Rayner yelled back as he slipped on what better be a clean pair of Carl's underwear and pulled out a pair of shorts their mother had bought them a couple of years ago. They seemed to be unworn, and they fit well. Probably the reason they were unworn.

Tess was waiting for him when he finally got everything on and ready to go. She pulled out her phone at the door and texted someone before heading out into the road. Rayner followed for a way but started to wonder if they were going to walk the entire way when they passed the Hall.

Meredith showed up in her small black truck shortly afterwards. Rayner groaned softly when he saw her because this probably meant that Carl had convinced her and her dad to help. He had never liked Uncle Anothony but now that he was out, at least to himself, he was worried about how much of his Uncle's swearing would get to him.

"Sorry," Meredith called as Tess got in the front of the truck and Rayner hopped into the back, "Dad wasn't cooperating with the nurse."

"What?" Rayner asked loudly as they started up.

"Oh, Dad got kicked," Meredith called.

"Bad?" Rayner asked.

"Just a gash," Meredith explained seemingly upbeat, "a couple of stitches and a bald leg. Fuck, he was mad."

"I bet," Rayner agreed.

"That fucking, cocksucking, faggot cut me," Meredith yelled in her imitation of her father's deeper voice. Rayner flinched hearing it but tried his best to ignore his feelings for his uncle's words. "Let me back out there, I'll rip his fucking dick off and force-feed it to him. That little shit! I already have his balls fertilising the west field."

"He's not coming out again is he?" Tess asked before Meredith could start up again.

"He will tomorrow," Meredith said back in her normal but deep voice, "probably just wrap his leg in something stupid."

"Where is he tomorrow?" Rayner asked, thankful to have had both his uncle and Meredith not swearing anymore.

"Depends on if Mom changes his schedule," Meredith explained as she turned the corner rather roughly, "Supposed to be with me on the south field but he'll probably have something around the Hall. Where are you three tomorrow?"

"Old creek," Tess said simply.

"Want help?" Meredith turned and asked, "There's a lot this year, and I can't do the south field alone."

"Only if you want two, three days of branding," Tess confirmed.

"I'm on day three," Meredith explained with a shrug, "Plus, Dad's more stubborn than the calves."

"At least he doesn't shit as much," Tess laughed as they flew over a hill.

"Fuck that, have you heard him talk?" Meredith asked, "Some of the shit that comes out his muzzle is worse than a newborn. But without him and the two of you, Old Creek should go fast."

"Where's Carl tomorrow?" Rayner asked.

"With us," Tess answered before Meredith could.

"Fuck off," Rayner yelled as he clued in. Being bounced around in the back made it hard to think.

"When your legs are bigger than my arms, Tiny," Meredith laughed, "I'll count you."

Sliding into the side of the dirt road, Meredith cut the engine and honked her horn twice, signalling to Carl they had arrived. Rayner tried his best to get his bearings, but Meredith had taken the trip at twice the speed she should have. Being bounced around in a truck bed was both harrowing and painful, though.

Jumping down as Meredith opened the door, Rayner acknowledged her after he watched her climb out. She put her front paw on the ground next to his leg afterwards though. Growling loudly, Rayner couldn't believe she was still that fit. Like his mom, Meredith's shoulders looked like she could actually run on all fours if she wanted to. Both Meredith and Tess started laughing as Rayner walked toward the field, grumbling to himself.

Carl, thankfully, wasn't that far away. After another acknowledgement and a round of teasing, though, Rayner was maliciously thinking he should have gone farther with Gab that morning. With his tongue, at least. He wouldn't have, or he would have washed his mouth, but he would have liked to think he could have.

Two and a half hours later, after Rayner playing vet, Tess on the press, and Carl and Meredith rounding the calves up, they headed back. Once he got into the routine, the time passed quickly, but every time he got shit on gave him a new wave of frustration.

"Carl, I heard you're going out with one of the Homely girls," Meredith yelled from the front. Carl and Rayner had jumped in the back.

"Holmes," Carl corrected, "And no, I'm not."

"Why?" Tess asked, "I thought you took her to that new wrap place that moved into the Millers."

"I did," Carl called back, "Spent the entire time on her phone and then scoffed at the waitress when she asked if the bill was separate or together."

"Was the food at least good," Meredith asked.

"Fancy city prices but I think even I could do better," Carl shrugged, "What does Austrous even mean?"

"Australis," Tess corrected, "No idea."

"Southern," Rayner answered.

"Fuck, that's the least southern way of saying southern," Carl laughed and turned to Rayner to ask, "Hey, I heard you're dating again?"

"Tiny's dating?" Meredith asked, "She better not be smaller than you."

"From the way, mom and dad talk," Carl laughed, "he's dating something like a Pom."

"That's cause dad thinks I'm dating a Husky," Rayner argued, "Which I'm not."

"Oh Skoll above Tiny, please bring back a Husky," Meredith laughed hard enough that she slowed down, "You'd look like a beast next to her."

"I'm actually a pretty big wolf in the city," Rayner argued, "the only one larger than me that I know is a friend. She's this goth wolf, but she's bigger than Tess."

"You dating her?" Meredith asked as she calmed down, "Goth wolves are neat."

"No, she's not like that'" Rayner scoffed but then realised he probably shouldn't have said that. Trying to cover the mistake, he added, "I mean, she's not into me. Not like that way."

"Please tell me you're friends with a buffed-up Lesbian Goth chick?" Carl laughed, "that's amazing. Bring her out here."

"That'd kill my dad," Meredith said almost sternly.

"If it does," Carl shot back, "his heart's weaker than his lungs are. I don't get how you're related to him."

"Me neither," Meredith almost growled.

"Please don't tell anyone," Rayner called out after Meredith sped back up, "I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's fine Rayner," Carl yelled and waved a paw at him, "it isn't cows, sports, or hunting. And no one cares about the city."

The rest of the incredibly rough and fast ride back was silent save for the roar of the engine and the clanking of the stones hitting Meredith's truck. Rayner spent it reviewing just how reckless he was being. He came home smelling of Gab, forgot to bring clothes that didn't smell like Gab, was still wearing the condom that he had on with Gab, and now he brought up Lilith to the few wolves his age that talked to him.

When they got back to the Hall, Meredith parked and they all started unpacking. Carl and Tess took the press back to the shop as Rayner collected the other equipment. Meredith grabbed the torch and brand but wanted until Carl and Tess were out of earshot before turning back toward Rayner.

"You actually friends with a lesbian?" Meredith asked quietly.

"Yes," Rayner whispered sternly, expecting a lecture.

"Why?" Meredith asked.

"Because she's a good wolf, Meredith," Rayner whispered, "Who she loves isn't my business or honestly, something I judge her for. Your dad's... ravings aren't something I care about let alone believe in."

"Just be careful with who you tell," Meredith whispered, "okay?"

"Do you care?" Rayner whispered.

"I have to," Meredith whispered and looked toward the Hall.

"No, you don't," Rayner argued, "You're almost eighteen and living in that house, so you have to act like it, but you don't have to care about what some wolf, hundreds of kilometres away, that you don't know, does with her life."

"Yeah well," Meredith muttered as she dropped her ears, "sometimes it feels like I do."

"Well, you don't need to around me," Rayner said quietly as she turned.

As she walked away with the torch, Rayner worried if he was being a bit too forward with her. She probably wouldn't say anything from what she had said, but it felt like Rayner had touched on something more than he was expecting. He couldn't imagine living in that house honestly. His uncle was loud and unkind at the best of times, but other wolves forgave him because he worked hard. For everything he was though, he was the weakest of that household.

There was a loud pop somewhere in the field behind the Hall that jerked Rayner out of his mind. Walking back he saw the multicolour May Pole being raised in the field for tomorrow's ribbon ceremony and celebration. Counting quickly he saw at least a dozen pregnant wolves all trying to help while their husbands or soon to be's tried to fuss over them. Weirdly, some part of Rayner felt sad that he would never get to be one of those men.

May Day, something that Rayner didn't tell the rest of the group, was the day that Pinewoods got married. Tomorrow evening there was going to be a mass celebration as the couples with their first pup or those who have gone through two unsuccessful cycles would commit themselves to each other and the Pack. Rayner didn't know if outsiders were even allowed in the Hall tomorrow. He figured not and that it was best not to ask.

"Do you think you could ever be as happy as they are with what they are going through?" a deep voice asked him. Jumping hard out of his mind again, Rayner turned to see Sigmund standing beside him with a tilted head as he watched the activity in the yard.

"Master Sigmund," Rayner said as he turned to acknowledge him. Sigmund didn't move, barely opened his muzzle, and didn't react when Rayner tried his best to follow protocol. Afterwards, Rayner stood away from the older wolf.

"Well?" Sigmund prompted.

"Oh, umm, I hope so?" Rayner tried to respond.

"That's what I said," Sigmund said as he smiled, "I got married far away, though and that was stressful enough without having a pup on the way. Watching someone do something and doing it yourself are very different experiences. If you have my curse, doing something yourself is quite a bit worse than what they are going through right now."

"Your curse?" Rayner asked.

"Always being prepared," Sigmund said with a smile and looked over at Rayner.

"Well, I try more than I'm successful it seems," Rayner surprised himself as he heard himself respond almost forlornly.

"Your future May Day celebration slipping away?" Sigmund asked.

"I don't know," Rayner said quietly, "Why do you ask?"

"Your father was looking for help," Sigmund said and shook his head slightly, "Rayner's too smart by half but he can't seem to keep anyone close."

"And he went to you?" Rayner asked, actually surprised, but the look Sigmund gave him had him realise how he sounded. He added quickly, "Not that, I mean... It's just, Dad's Dad. Doesn't really talk to anyone."

"Wolves do weird things when they're confused," Sigmund responded, bringing back his half-smile, "or frustrated."

"Well, Dad's reading into things that don't mean anything," Rayner said defensively.

"Parents usually know something's up though," Sigmund suggested, "even if their pup's wiser than they are and they can hide it."

"I'm not hiding anything," Rayner responded quickly. How far Sigmund had already guessed was getting unnerving.

"He who would keep a secret must keep it a secret that he hath a secret to keep," Sigmund quoted something that Rayner could only half remember at best. With a smirk and a small chuckle at himself, he continued, "I'm not here to have you tell me or, like your dad said, that you'd figure it out. A wolf like you has probably been told that you'd figure it out enough times that you figured out that you've reached beyond their expertise."

"I'm marked," Rayner admitted quietly after a couple of seconds of silence, "but it's not to whom Dad thinks I'm dating. But, I wish that it was that simple."

"Simple?" Sigmund asked quietly.

"I don't think the Pack will like who I'm dating," Rayner said even quieter.

"Ah," Sigmund said and nodded, "My wife married someone like that. He's been called too clever by half though. Still trying to make his way to smart."

"It's different," Rayner snorted as Sigmund joked.

"Yes but the problem with being different," Sigmund said quietly, "is that we are all different, even from each other. I'm offering my help but I can't offer a solution until I know what you're dealing with. If you want or need time to work some things through, I can leave you to it."

"Thank you," Rayner said as he rubbed his arm absently, "Master Sigmund?"

"Yes?" Sigmund turned and looked at him.

"I'm not trying to be untrusting," Rayner said quietly, "it's just... I haven't marked anyone before and-"

"You're trying to be prepared for what comes next," Sigmund interrupted, "I know, that's why I brought that up first. Don't feel like it's you against the entire pack, though."

"Okay," Rayner muttered, nodded, and looked away. He wasn't sure if he believed that, but Sigmund felt different. Granted the old wolf was always different.

"Congratulations, by the way," Sigmund said calmly, bowed slightly, and added, "You do have the date recorded somewhere, correct?"

"I do," Rayner said with a nod as he thought of the note he wrote himself on his phone.

"Good, I'll add it to the records when you are ready for what comes next," Sigmund said and turned to walk back to the hall.

The older wolf moved smoothly and silently, getting close to some of the others without so much as a notice until he overtook them. He didn't seem to care. Rayner watched an older woman almost jump out of her fur at how close he got before she realised he was there. Sigmund looked confused at her outburst.

"What the actual fuck?" Rayner muttered to himself as he turned, shaking his head, and walked back to the house. He still needed to go and talk to the others, but he absolutely wasn't going to follow Sigmund anywhere.

Taking out his phone, he saw a couple of texts from Gab asking how he was doing. Rayner responded with a basic summary of the Old Creek field but left out his conversation with Meredith. A quick response back from Gab asked if he got pooped on and Rayner groaned as he looked down and realised he should probably hose off his legs before going anywhere. Rayner texted back that he did get pooped on, many times. Gab simply wrote, "Ew!" back.

Laughing as he walked, Rayner put his phone into the shorts he borrowed and headed to the showers to hose himself off. Besides the large cement building, there was a group of cousins going at each other with the air compressor. Large chunks of fur were coming off Donald, one of Rayner's more portly cousins, as the group laughed as they blew air into the folds around his midsection. Rayner waved but didn't stop to talk.

After he was hosed off and got dry, Rayner made his way back to the Hall to talk to the heads of the Council and Circle. Grand Elder Thomas was calm, surrounded by a group of older men working on some schedule for the cows. Being recognized and accepted was quick. Grandmaster Circle, though was a little trickier. Rayner had to follow her and help a bit before he was ever able to get close enough to be accepted. Tomorrow's celebration was Circle business, and it sounded like it was going in circles.

Rayner found his siblings, father, and Meredith all sitting together in the hall together, talking about the current year's calves and what needed to be done. Victor leaned over and sniffed Rayner as he sat down, then told Tess that the wash was effective. Victor quickly went into great detail about how powerful Jack had been and how it wasn't until he had been out in the fields that he was sure that the scent had finally left him. The usually quiet and stoic wolf tried for a good ten minutes to list off the ingredients it would take to give the right scent profile. Rayner was a little shocked but still glad he hadn't smelt Gab's scent. Tess smiled to herself the entire time but didn't say anything.

The evening went well until after supper, his mother basically crashed down beside him as they were eating, ate quickly, complained loudly, and then rattled off plans for something Rayner wasn't sure about. The term, wolfing down food, came to Rayner's mind as she ate but he wasn't sure what that meant if she was already a wolf. After about fifteen minutes of talk, Rayner pieced together that she was having trouble organising schedules for tomorrow. After pulling out the laptop and signing in, she showed him the set.

"Look," Anitta argued and jabbed the screen, "I have Carl and your team, Samson and his minus Terry, Anthony and-"

"No, Dad's out," Meredith interrupted, "got kicked. New gash on his leg."

"Okay," Anitta groaned after taking a long deep breath in and then out, "Useless out or out of the way out?"

"Both?" Meredith said bitterly.

"Help Aunt May with Deb's vision out or help Lione with new posts out?" Anitta rephrased.

"Please say, Aunt May," Carl before Meredith could answer, "We could start up a betting pool on which one storms away first."

"Put him with Lione," Meredith responded before anyone else could comment, "He deserves Aunt May and Deb, but Aunt May has enough on her schedule. If you put me with Carl, we can get through those fifty before lunch and then help whoever needs it."

"You sure?" Anitta looked over her laptop as everyone else groaned, "That's four days of branding."

"Yeah," Meredith said with a shrug, "Plus, Rayner's faster at branding than Dad is, so we may even get done before lunch."

"Good, this is where I get problems," Anitta explained as Rayner looked up and over at Meredith. She always called him Tiny. She had turned to look out at the field, so he wasn't sure if this was a good change or just a change. His mom tapped his shoulder before adding, "You listening? I need this done. I keep getting an error when I move them."

"Oh yes, sorry," Rayner said as he shook himself and looked back down at the laptop, "You're getting connection errors."

"English?" Anitta asked sternly.

"No internet," Rayner muttered as he looked into the settings to connect back to the wifi. The Pack had an enterprise-level network, but the wolf who set it up had her own thoughts about how secure it should be. Every once in a while, it meant they all had to reapply for the certificate. After getting that all done, the laptop was still coming up with errors though, "I don't know what duplicated event viewer conflicts means."

"Well, I don't know either," Anitta muttered as she watched her son work, "It worked this afternoon though."

"Were you on a different computer?" Rayner asked.

"No," Anitta confirmed, "just this one, and see, this is the only... really?"

As Anitta talked, she clicked out of her browser and pulled up everything open at the time. There in the centre of the screen, were two scheduling windows open. Now if the Pack had paid more money for this program, users probably could have cascaded events or give them warnings about they were overwriting something that wasn't visible, but they didn't. This program simply didn't allow simultaneous users on the same sheet at the same time, even if it was the same user with two windows open.

"Easy fix then," Rayner commented.

"For you," Anitta groaned, "I spent twenty minutes before sitting down here pleading with this stupid thing. I'd lose my tail if it wasn't attached to me."

"Mom, you're not that bad," Rayner said and shook his head, "You actually use your laptop."

"Yeah, well," Anitta muttered as she moved groups around, "Okay, so I have Meredith with Carl, Anthony with Lione, I'll move Abby's group into Anthony's place, and if you four finish early, if you could help your cousin Samson then we should be set."

"For now," Tess chuckled.

"Don't you dare say that," Anitta said sternly after snapping her head up at Tess, "I'll make you do this with me... actually, I should be. Check in with me tomorrow morning before you head out."

"Wait, no," Tess argued as Anitta got up and left, completely ignoring her daughter, "Mom, wait, hang on."

"She's already gone, girl," Victor said as he watched his wife head out the front door, "If you don't want anything, don't say anything."

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Tess turned and asked as the large form of her mother disappeared.

"Walking the north creek fence line," Victor said with a smile.

"What?" Tess, Meredith, and Carl all asked at once. That fence line was about a three-hour walk, but it followed a tree line, was well sheltered, and was primarily meant as a legal divider.

"How?" Rayner asked after his dad didn't answer.

"Marry your compliment," Victor said proudly, "May not be good at all the techno things your mother is, but I know when the schedules go up, and I know how to schedule myself early."

"You and Anitta are like fifth cousins, though," Meredith argued, "hard to find what you two have in the Pact."

"Hell," Carl muttered, "Even in the area. You either get wolves curious about the Pinewoods and not about you, or wolves turned off by the idea of dating a Pinewood. Rayner's lucky being in the city."

"More wolves true, but it's more the latter in the city," Rayner explained, "I had to talk someone down after they found those news articles from like thirty years ago. Could you date a city wolf?"

"Maybe?" Carl shrugged, "Probably? I can't offer a pampered life, though, if that's all they want."

"Everyone I have dated knew I was coming back here," Rayner explained, "and that it's different than the city."

"Everyone?" Carl scoffed, "Tiny's a player? I thought it was just the new girl and Bell."

"I bring it up on first dates," Rayner argued and avoided, "better to be open and honest rather than disappointing later. Even my friends knew the first couple of times we hung out. Plus, it's not like I can hide it."

"Smert," Carl muttered, "no wasting time on wolves that want to be with their phone rather than you. Again, though, there aren't many around."

"You should take a course or something at the college," Rayner offered.

"I was bad at school," Carl argued, "I'd be worse at college."

"You said it yourself years ago, though," Rayner shot back, "didn't see the value in school. Why were you there? I don't know, is there anything in the Pack you'd rather be doing rather than just being a set of paws?"

"I thought this was about dating?" Carl asked.

"It can be about both," Rayner explained and turned to Meredith and Tess, "You two are done school this year, what's your plans?"

"I'm actually thinking of going through culinary arts," Tess offered, "I like cutting meat, and the chefs seem to really love what they do."

"I didn't know you were thinking of going that way," Victor said quietly.

"I'm not sure yet. Sigmund says there's an opening for it though, if I am interested," Tess explained but then shrugged and turned toward Meredith, "I don't know, what are you doing?"

"Working," Meredith said gruffly, "I want to live before I go back to school in the day and home at night. I'm broke, tired, and lonely. I'd like to just be tired and lonely for once."

"I hear yeah," Carl agreed and then sighed, "You'll have a better time dating than me, though."

"What makes you say that?" Meredith asked.

"Because Pinewood tough doesn't do you justice," Carl said, gesturing to Meredith's core, "but even underneath all that.. you know."

"Aw, is cranky Carl actually giving a compliment?" Tess teased.

"Shut it," Carl demanded.

"I think what Carl's trying to say is," Tess continued as she turned to Meredith, "You hot, girl."

"Shut it," Meredith growled at her, but she smiled as she shook her head at Tess, "Whatever, it's nothing anyway. I don't think I'll get married."

"Don't give up, though. When you find the right wolf," Victor chimed in, but Rayner caught his father glancing at him before continuing, "or whoever, it feels... it's different. Lust and love make the world a more beautiful place to live in."

"Talking about picking beings up," Carl added with a smirk as he turned to Rayner, "do Pomeranians fit in like a side bag, or can your girlfriend just hide in your backpack?"

"What the fuck Carl?" Rayner groaned.

"Backpack girlfriend," Carl continued, "everything is two for one."

"I date wolves," Rayner argued.

"What about part wolves?" Meredith asked.

"Maybe," Rayner groaned, "but I don't know any."

"You could make some," Carl suggested, "tiny little floofy wolves with squeaky howls."

"That'd be cute," Tess offered.

"That would be cute," Meredith agreed.

"Okay, Rayner has to bring his Pom girlfriend out this summer so he can make," Carl declared but stopped and thought for a second before saying," Pomolves? Wolfarians, no, that sounded bad, umm-"

"Flooflves?" Tess offered.

"Flooflves!" Carl almost cackled, "Skoll above, yes, Rayner, you have to make little Flooflves this winter."

"I hate you all," Rayner muttered.

"But, you know, also don't," Carl added quickly, "because they would probably kill her. You need to be the other way around. Either of you want to make Flooflves?"

"No," both Tess and Meredith responded loudly.

"Aw, why not?" Carl probed.

"Because I actually want to feel good when I mate," Tess argued.

"Not that it's much different with actual wolves," Meredith added.

"If we are going that small," Tess piled on, "I could probably find a leopard with enough stamina to go all night."

"I really didn't need to hear my daughter say that," Victor muttered as he got up to leave. When he passed the front door, Tess smiled and turned back to Carl.

"And he'd still be bigger," Tess said with a wink.

"He'd still be barbed," Carl pointed out, "It'd be like fucking a pinecone."

"Oh, probably worse," Meredith muttered.

"Pinecone found inside a Pinewood," Rayner shook his head, "I could just see the headlines."

"You mean weird fetish video," Carl chuckled to himself.

"Ah, so you've seen One Pinecone, One Pinewood?" Tess said quietly.

They chuckled to themselves and shook their heads at the thought. Probably wasn't the most appropriate thing to be joking about in the Hall, but it's not like some of the other conversations wouldn't be kosher in the city. Rayner heard at least a couple talk about different positions to try while they were pregnant to relieve any number of different discomforts.

"So, what's actually up with your girlfriend?" Carl suddenly asked when the table had gotten quiet.

"I'm just trying to take it slow," Rayner groaned, he figured they'd keep pestering him if he didn't start sharing, "After Bell, this is the first time I've actually felt... actually including Bell, but it's like Dad said. The world's better, but it's also freaking me out."

"Sex that good?" Carl asked.

"Carl, I haven't had sex," Rayner admitted, "with anyone."

"Why the fuck not?" Carl asked quietly after he moved closer, "It's not your equipment."

"It's stupid," Rayner admitted quietly and gestured to the stage behind him, "but I want my first to be the one I stand up there with. First of first, you know."

"No idea," Carl argued, "Sex is great, wear protection and if she says you don't have to... run. Run fast. Run far."

"Weren't you with Bell for like half a year?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah," Rayner confirmed.

"And nothing?" Meredith asked with a stunned look, "Rayner, she was hot. Like actually hot."

"Yes but," Rayner groaned as he tried to think of a delicate way of phrasing it, "I just, well, I never got a sense it was going to be long term."

"Six months, though?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, she was not happy with me," Rayner admitted quietly, "at the end."

"And how long until your new girl isn't happy with you either?" Carl asked, "How long has this been going on?"

"Since February," Rayner said quietly, "We are waiting."

"For what?" Carl asked, dumbfounded, "The stars to align? Cupid to come down and get her ready for you? Cupid to come down and get you ready for her?"

"No, we're both," Rayner groaned and shook his head a bit before answering, "We are both particular. Okay? We're just worried about what the first time will be like."

"Fantastic," Carl argued, "it will be fantastic."

"For you at least," Meredith added, "it'll be a meh twenty seconds at best for her followed by half an hour trying to figure out where arms go and questioning whether it was worth it."

"See, and that's what I don't want," Rayner argued, "I don't know, it's different. I'm twenty, and that recklessness that could have been there just wasn't for me. And now it definitely isn't."

"It doesn't have to be perfect," Carl muttered.

"I don't want perfect," Rayner complained loudly and turned to Tess, "and I don't want a parade. I just want to come home one day and not feel worried that I'm about three words away from fucking up my life."

"What?" Carl turned and asked Tess.

"We've had this conversation," Tess explained, "but I'm on Rayner's side of it. If you don't know, don't go."

"Thank you," Rayner groaned as he realised how much he said.

"That's because of what happened with you and Tim," Meredith pointed out.

"Was that the weird drama wolf you brought home?" Carl asked.

"Yes," Tess muttered.

"You were dating him?" Carl asked, startled, "I thought he was gay. No, I sure he gay."

"We all did," Meredith confirmed and pointed a finger at Tess, "then she started dating him, and it ended so badly he moved."

"Really?" Rayner asked quietly.

"Yeah, he was a little too ready," Tess said with a nod, "then he freaked out for like a solid week, told everyone a bunch of stories, and then moved when he let slip what actually happened."

"Didn't get it in all the way?" Carl asked.

"No, like at all," Tess explained, "he was standing in the doorway trying to get his pants off when he just finished. I was fine, but he lost it when he realised what happened. Started screaming, and then his mom came in and saw her son spraying the floor, and she started screaming. I didn't know what to think at that point."

"You left out that you were still dressed," Meredith added with a laugh, "and not even by his bed."

"I was sure he was gay," Carl repeated, "Honestly, a lot of the Pack did. I had to answer a bunch of really weird questions because of the two of you."

"Oh?" Rayner asked.

"You can probably guess what your dad asked me," Carl turned and said to Meredith.

"Was it the 'we are a good devout family' speech or his weird politics speech?" Meredith asked quietly.

"First one," Carl confirmed, "but like full-on Anthony-level foulness to it."

"What did you do?" Tess asked.

"Told him to go find a cross and tell it that," Carl explained, "I mean, maybe we were back when he was a pup, but we haven't been since I was alive. And yeah, there were stories about Great Uncle Dave, Uncle Harry, and Aunt, umm, I can't remember her name. But like they left because they were out, but Uncle Harry left when I was in junior high."

"You actually think that a Pinewood could be gay and live here?" Meredith asked, and Rayner felt his stomach twist hard.

"No idea," Carl continued with a shrug, "but no one has tried in the last, what, decade?"

"That's because Uncle Harry didn't leave," Meredith argued, "He shot himself."

"Seriously?" Carl gasped, wide-eyed and tilting his ears slightly, "I've never heard that. Man, that's fucked up. How do you know?"

"Dad," Meredith admitted, "Council brings it up every time there's money for social programs. It pisses dad off to no end. Only good faggot's a dead faggot and all that."

"Fucking hell, Meredith," Carl groaned, "What the fuck is wrong with that man?"

"It's his thing," Meredith muttered.

"Fuck," Carl whispered and shook his head before asking, "How is he on the council?"

"Because there's still a group of the old guard on the council," Meredith explained in a hushed tone, "They like Dad because he talks and doesn't seem to get in trouble for it. Dad keeps saying that if the Grand Elder's seat opens up, they'll take the Pack back to our roots."

"That's the entire point of reclaiming, though," Carl argued, "we weren't devout until like a hundred years ago. They got like three of the seven generations."

"Yeah, well, that's not what dad says," Meredith muttered, "He has this whole underground story thing."

"The man's nuts," Carl almost growled, "and it's not like they'd ever actually get in. Plus, the Circle wouldn't willingly give back control to the Council, and Sigmund absolutely wouldn't."

"Speak of the devil," Tess muttered, and they all turned to see Uncle Anthony making his way slowly toward them, lipping heavily but trying to hide it.

Anthony wasn't overweight but wasn't as lean as Carl or Victor. He also wasn't a true Pinewood. When Rayner was younger, he described his Uncle a couple of times as though he was wearing a mask and cape. Dark grey and brown stretched over the top of his muzzle and across his cheeks, following the line right to the tip of his tail. His ears and back were all dark greys, but it never touched his shoulders or arms.

The older wolf had done exactly what Meredith had said, he had it wrapped in what looked like cling wrap but with a layer of either mud or dust in one of the wraps. Both top and bottom looked like he had duct-taped it to his usually white leg. Everything looked caked on, and some were flaking off.

"Busy day tomorrow, girl," Anthony almost coughed out as he got to the table.

"Yeah, we are planning it," Meredith said as she looked him up and down, "You check your schedule yet?"

"I'm with you-" Anthony started but stopped when Meredith rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Watch yourself, girl, I have had it up to here today with unruly whelps."

"You're with Lione tomorrow," Meredith explained, crossing her arms.

"Why the fuck am I with that cocksucker?" Anthony cursed, "Who the fuck told you that?"

"Aunt 'Ta," Meredith explained coolly, "She's the one who changed it when she learned you got scratched."

"Scratched?" Anthony almost yelled, "I got shaved by some bitch so they could do this bullshit needlepoint crap on my leg."

"Why didn't you just get them to staple it?" Meredith asked, "Could have been back out in the field faster."

"They didn't give me the option," Anthony argued but watched Meredith roll her eyes again, "You get all the calves done."

"Yeah," Meredith confirmed, "Carl did the last two by himself, and then we met up with Tess and Rayner to do the twenty they had."

"Good lad," Anthony said, clapping Carl on the shoulder. Anthony couldn't see Carl's eye twinge at being touched, but the rest of them could. "Well, I'm fucking starving. You four staying around?"

"Nah," Meredith said, shaking her head, "planning's done. Busy day tomorrow."

"'Kay," Anthony said as he limped off, "see you at home."

The older wolf limped back into the kitchen with a wave to a couple of unseen wolves. Rayner actually wondered how much of a following he had when every wolf he saw didn't even acknowledge him. They hadn't. Technically Rayner should have stood up, but after the conversation and how intent Meredith and Anthony were looking at each other, he wondered if the older wolf even knew he was there. Not that Rayner minded. Uncle Anthony tasted like cough drops most of the time.

"Have a good night," Meredith said as she got up from her seat, "I'll pick you three up at eight round your place."

"You okay?" Tess asked quietly.

"Yeah," Meredith groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose before saying, "I just want to listen to music and not be here when he gets back."

"Me neither," Carl agreed and got up to walk with her. Rayner could only make out that Carl was asking her about where she was living next year but couldn't hear Meredith's answer.

"You okay?" Tess asked Rayner as Rayner looked back at the table and then at the food line.

"I have no idea," Rayner muttered.

"You said a lot," Tess said quietly.

"They were going to keep asking if I kept hiding stuff," Rayner explained as he got up, "did I slip anywhere?"

"Nope," Tess shook her head and got up with him, "didn't lie either, which was masterful."

"It's been a weird thing to learn," Rayner muttered and tilted his ears back, "fuck, I had no idea about Uncle Harry."

"Which part?" Tess asked, "I didn't know about either of them till tonight.."

"Me neither," Rayner admitted, "that all happened when I was like six."

"A lot has changed in ten years, though," Tess added, "Pack has changed a lot in ten years."

They walked out into the cooling evening air. The sun had started to go down, and the clouds were set to vibrant shades of yellow and orange. There was an almost autumn feel to it but without the weariness of a hard summer's work behind them. Rayner tried his best to think through the day and what exactly it had all meant.

Rayner had to stop by the laundromat and grab his clothes. Tess had thankfully left double the coinage required, and someone had put his set into the drying and then into his bin in the corner. One of the nice things about living with family is, at least most of the time, if you follow certain standards, you know the outcome of the action. Someone made a couple of bucks off doing almost nothing, and Rayner had clean clothes.

Back at home, though, Rayner had a hard time going to his room. It didn't sound like anyone other than himself, and Tess had come back. Carl was still probably out talking with Meredith, and his parents would be back until they had finished up whatever they were doing.

"Tess," Rayner whispered as she walked past him toward the kitchen. She stopped and looked at him, and he took a deep breath before answering, "Should I bring Gab here?"

"Carl put it right," Tess whispered back, "I don't know, but no one's tried in a decade."

"Fuck," Rayner groaned, "You know, between him and Sigmund today... and Meredith-"

"What did Sigmund say to you?" Tess asked quickly.

"Don't feel like it's you against the entire Pack," Rayner whispered.

"Does he-" Tess whispered but stopped when Rayner started shaking his head.

"Dad asked for help," Rayner explained, "apparently."

"And I don't get that," Tess whispered, "Dad's actually trying to keep you with a husky?"

"I guess?" Rayner whispered and shrugged. He smiled before continuing, "What's funny is he met Gab this morning. Said he liked him, called him respectable... Actually, Dad even compared Gab to Sigmund."

"That's quite a comparison," Tess admitted, "is he?"

"He's so damn smart Tess," Rayner whispered and smiled, "I love just watching him work. Wish I could just be with him."

"Well, call him before the others get home," Tess pointed out.

"Yeah, I should," Rayner muttered to himself but looked down at his clothes and wondered if Gab would be available. Shaking his head, he moved toward his room and put his clothes hamper down. He turned and looked toward the kitchen, "thanks, Tess."

"Just remember to make me the maid of honour at your wedding," Tess called from the kitchen.

"So long as Gab makes Olive the other one," Rayner muttered to himself as he pulled out his phone, "or should it be Lilith... or Josh? Fuck, I'm planning out my wedding, and the only thing I can think of is it can't be Kacy."

As Rayner settled into bed, he texted Gab a quick message asking if he was available for a call. Gab texted back quickly that he needed to get outside but it was no more than a couple of minutes before Rayner's phone rang. Rayner figured he must have booked it.

"Hey there," Rayner said quietly into the phone.

"Rayner, umm, I'm so sorry about this morning," Gab started to talk but Rayner was quick to stop him.

"No Gab, this morning was more than I could have expected," Rayner said lovingly into the phone.

"What?" Gab asked after a couple of seconds.

"Dad likes you," Rayner explained, "called you respectable. I know he doesn't know and that I was a little dismissive this morning, but honestly, after my day, it feels now like he would approve."

"Of?" Gab asked.

"Us," Rayner whispered.

"Like... being together?" Gab asked softly.

"I think so," Rayner whispered, "I'm not sure, and I don't want to find out right now but... I don't know. I don't think it's us versus the entire Pack anymore."

"Anything serious happen?" Gab whispered.

"No," Rayner whispered, "Just a lot of talk... and I found out a couple of things I didn't know. But Dad still thinks I'm dating Olive but, like, he's actually trying to help me with it."

"What?" Gab asked.

"I know," Rayner quickly said, "it's weird, but like, if he's willing to help me with dating a husky... and that's out there for the Pack... you know, maybe he'd be good with us.

"Maybe," Gab whispered, "Like he actually likes me?"

"Yeah," Rayner whispered and nodded as he held the phone, "This feels so weird. I wish I was there. Wish I could just hold you for a while."

"I'd really like that too," Gab whispered into the phone.

"How did your treatment end up going?" Rayner asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Olive and Kacy were so bloody loud," Gab muttered, instantly growing darker, "They yelled at each other and at the dryers. I wasn't surprised by Kacy but Olive? She's like a banshee."

"What?" Rayner chuckled, "Really?"

"Wish she and Kacy were together," Gab continued, "Josh looked as horrified as I felt. There were others in there as well. Just flipping out at what was going on."

"Must be a husky thing," Rayner laughed.

They talked for a while about how the day ended up going. After Gab calmed down about Olive, he said he felt lighter and was shocked at how much of his fur came out, but he felt good. He admitted he had been scared that he had really screwed up the morning and was glad he didn't. Rayner listened as he talked, added details to his day that he had left out of the text chain, and talked a little about how the evening had gone.

About twenty minutes later, Rayner heard Tess tap on the wall and quickly said goodnight to Gab. After a couple of I love you's and goodnights after that, they finally hung up. Carl walked into the room a few minutes later and stared at Rayner, clutching his phone on his bed. Putting his own phone away and sitting down, Carl sighed.

"You okay?" Carl asked quietly.

"Do you ever miss someone more after phoning them?" Rayner asked, holding his phone to his chest and trying to feel Gab's presence through it.

"Grade eight," Carl admitted quietly, "Sammy Sten-something. We hid under the gym stage and kissed until the bell rang. Every time I phoned her, I felt like that. I still think about her every once in a while. Why?"

"I have never felt like this," Rayner admitted, "Nothing's ever come close to this?"

"That why you're scared?" Carl asked.

"I'm terrified," Rayner admitted, "I'm like whipping between that and... floating."

"Does she feel the same way?" Carl asked.

"Yes," Rayner whispered and nodded.

"Well then, fight for her," Carl whispered, "and don't let go until you are both out here."

"I'm terrified of what it will take to get there," Rayner whispered.

"Rayner," Carl whispered, "you really shouldn't be. It's the Pack, you're a Pinewood, and you're a Pinewood they are putting through University. I mean, are you actually dating the husky?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Rayner asked quietly, holding his phone.

"Better than Dad can, that's for sure," Carl whispered, "that's not really a secret though, Rayner, if Dad keeps talking about it. Huskies are like small wolves, right? I'm sure it'll be fine."

"No, Carl," Rayner whispered, held himself tightly, and looked up at his brother. He waited until he saw Carl turn toward him before barely whispering, "he's a wolf."

Carl sat up straighter and looked at Rayner a lot more sternly than before. Taking a few deep breaths, Carl looked around the room as he thought. Rayner just watched. It felt good to say it to someone else, but inside, his stomach turned like a hurricane.

"Shit, Rayner," Carl whispered finally, tilting his head a bit, "That conversation, Uncle Harry. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I wouldn't have ranted-"

"I think I'm telling you because of it," Rayner whispered, then slipped into a whimper, "I don't know why I keep talking. I just want to be normal."

"Normal's a state, Rayner," Carl muttered, "everything's different till it becomes normal. The three words that will fuck up your life?"

"I love him," Rayner whimpered quietly.

"What's his name?" Carl asked

"Gab," Rayner whimpered after a deep breath.

"Who knows?" Carl asked.

"Just Tess," Rayner explained, "she actually told me to ask him out when I told her I had a crush on him."

"That's cause she'll lead the Circle one day," Carl whispered but then slumped down a bit before whispering softly, "Rayner, I'm sorry, I didn't even know. How long have you... I don't know, known? Like that you were-"

"Less than a year," Rayner admitted.

"Really?" Carl whispered in surprise, "I thought gays were supposed to... you know, like, know? Weren't there signs?"

"Well, looking back, there were," Rayner whispered defensively, "Wolves kept telling me that I'd know when I found the right girl though. Honestly, it wasn't until Bell yelled at me after putting a lot of effort into an evening that I actually questioned it."

"What did she do?" Carl asked.

"I don't know exactly," Rayner whispered, "End of February, though, we got a hotel room. She came out of the bathroom saying she had a surprise. She was in her fur and like really ready and... like she smelled like she was in full heat."

"Holy shit," Carl whispered, "And?"

"I felt nothing," Rayner whispered, hugging himself tighter at the memory, "just anxious and worried."

"Seriously?" Carl hoarsely whispered.

"I feel more rereading texts from Gab," Rayner admitted, looking down at his phone.

"Okay, you are like, really," Carl whispered, absolutely stunned, "like serious gay. Like not even the smell does it for you."

"It's like cloves," Rayner whispered, "it's a nice enough smell, it's powerful, and, you know, I know what heat means, but it's like there's a step removed. It's like how Tess describes it... which should have been another sign."

"Oh man, that sucks," Carl whispered, "can't miss what you don't know, I guess, but like a girl in heat that likes you is... it like makes you reckless."

"And sets your nerves on fire," Rayner whispered quietly.

"Exactly, so you do know? or is that just what you've been told?" Carl whispered after a second or two, "No, wait, that can't be right, when you're home for heat, you go through the same crap we all do."

"I do know," Rayner whispered, "I found out what it's like because... I know because it's what Gab's scent does to me."

"Okay," Carl whispered sternly after a couple of long seconds of silence, "So we aren't sharing a bedroom next year."

"Carl, it's not like that," Rayner whispered quickly, "I'm not attracted to you or-"

"But it'd be like me sharing a bedroom with Tess," Carl pointed out, "Right? That's sort of what I got from that. I don't like Tess, but I absolutely don't get near her room in January, let alone enter it."

"Oh," Rayner muttered, "Well, that actually kind of makes sense."

"I know," Carl whispered, "shocking coming from me."

"Carl," Rayner whispered but couldn't find the words to say.

"Okay, fuck," Carl muttered, "I shouldn't ask this... Do I smell... good?"

"Honest answer?" Rayner whispered.

"Yes," Carl whispered and nodded.

"You're pretty sharp," Rayner explained, "that week mom had us all do that-"

"Okay, fucking stop," Carl groaned and ran his paws through his head fur, "So you're exactly like Tess. But I'm not going on that half-veggie diet again, though. Smelling better isn't worth shitting that often."

"You asked Tess?" Rayner asked in a surprised whisper.

"Neutral source, and I wanted to know what I presented as," Carl whispered and chewed his lip a bit.

"Are we good?" Rayner asked quietly when Carl didn't ask anything else, "You okay with me being, well, me?"

"Yes," Carl whispered back, "Of course, you're my brother. I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could tell me sooner, like Tess."

"Thank you," Rayner whimpered hard but quietly, "But, if you want, I can sleep in the living room."

"Rayner, we have shared this bedroom for most of our lives," Carl whispered, waving a paw at him, "me knowing your gay doesn't change anything. Actually, knowing you went through half a dozen cycles as you did do."

"I'm so sorry," Rayner whimpered softly, pulling his ears back more.

"No," Carl whispered, "that's not what I meant. You're fucking stronger than I am. If I was locked in Tess' room through that and then worked shifts cutting meat, I would have fucking murdered someone... Probably Anthony."

Getting up, Carl took a deep breath as Rayner started folding in on himself and walked the couple of steps over to the other bed. He sat down carefully. Rayner looked up but couldn't meet his brother's eyes.

"Like I said in the hall," Carl whispered quietly, rubbing behind one of Rayner's ears, "I don't know what will happen if you bring Gab out here, but you absolutely should. And, I'll duct tape Anthony's mouth shut if he starts saying shit."

"Carl," Rayner whimpered and leaned into his brother. As Carl rocked back and forth and hugged him tightly, Rayner felt more like a pup than ever. The knot in his stomach loosened, and with it went the fear. It made it hard to breathe, but it felt right.

"Or I'll get another calf to kick him," Carl whispered quietly. This time, Rayner looked up and met his brother's eyes at the admission. Carl shrugged and asked, "Can you keep a secret?"

---

That night, after Carl and him stopped talking, Rayner slept deeply. The Pack felt a little more like a family again, or maybe his family felt like it. This last year, it had been hard to believe that they had felt like a threat. Rayner didn't know what his parents would think, but the fact that he had his siblings on his side was a much bigger deal than he expected.

May Day morning came in cool and dry. It smelt like cow shit, but every day in May would smell like the cows until they were moved to different plots away from the hall. Rayner woke to his arms hurting from how he held himself yesterday and a mildly stuffy nose from how he was breathing.

Carl was already up and out somewhere, Rayner saw as he scanned the room. His brother always woke up early, though. The weird thing about Carl is everyone assumed he partied, but no one could ever remember seeing him long at one.

After changing his underwear but keeping his brother's shorts, Rayner stepped into the small living room where his parents were drinking coffee. Victor was trying to do a crossword at the table while Anitta was working on her laptop with Tess. Both looked like they were engrossed in whatever schedule his mother was trying to create, but Tess looked up when he opened the door.

"Carl should be back in a bit," Tess explained, "We are grabbing food to go. Meredith will probably pick us up early."

"Okay," Rayner said with a nod.

"'Tone's not happy about being placed on post duty," Anitta muttered as she worked, "Longer you four can stay out, the better."

"Oh good," Rayner said with a yawn. Grabbing a cup of coffee from the container, he asked, "When's the whole thing tonight?"

"Ceremonies are at three," Anitta explained.

"Best to get there at five after," Victor added, neither looking up from his paper nor seeing the shocked scowl on his wife's face.

"Victor," Anitta eventually hissed, "everyone has worked hard for this."

"If you want to avoid Uncle Anthony, that is," Victor added casually, Anitta growled but went back to her laptop.

Carl showed up about halfway through Rayner's coffee. For once, he wasn't helping his mother work out something software-related or ensuring the hardware wasn't acting up. It was sort of weird to watch Tess muddle her way through. He had sat and watched the entire time, taking his father's advice and not saying anything until he found something to do.

When Carl put down the bags, Rayner opened them and started dividing up the wraps and water into three groups. Carl turned to put on another pot of coffee, telling them all how crowded the Hall was this morning. At that, Victor got up and put his paper away. They all wanted to be gone soon, and even Anitta put her laptop away.

After saying goodbye, his parents were out the door, and the three tried to finish packing. Tess said that Meredith hadn't responded yet, so she wasn't sure how far away she would be. Not that it really mattered, they would be ahead of schedule regardless.

"You know, the south creek field doesn't have good reception," Carl mentioned a couple of minutes after their parents left. Rayner saw him sit and stare at Tess with a mischievous smile before adding, "If you want to call Gab today, you should probably do it now."

"What?" Tess asked as her head snapped up to look at Carl but then turned to Rayner, who was rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"I know something you do," Carl teased, smiling to himself.

"That's not an accomplishment," Tess muttered with a sidelong glance before looking at Rayner again, "You told him?"

"Last night," Rayner admitted quietly, "I don't know what happened, I just sort of needed to."

"And it kind of is for me," Carl argued, "You two know everything."

"I'm not sure if I should be shocked or not at how you're acting," Tess explained and then growled a bit before adding, "He is right, though, Rayner, if you want to phone Gab today, this is probably the best time."

"Can you put him on video?" Carl asked excitedly, "I want to see him."

"I'm not sure if Gab would be up for that," Rayner quickly said, looking between Carl and Tess.

"You could ask," Tess said with a shrug, "I wouldn't mind saying hi."

"Hi?" Carl argued, turning to Tess, "I want to size him up. I learned my lesson with Tim."

"You want to threaten Rayners super shy and anxiety-ridden boyfriend?" Tess almost scoffed, "He'll never come out here if you do."

"Seriously?" Carl muttered, glancing at Rayner, "Okay, well, I didn't know that."

"I don't think a video call is a good idea," Rayner groaned as he watched the exchange.

"No, Carl will behave," Tess argued, "I'll hold his muzzle shut if he doesn't."

"Just ask," Carl added, then tilted his head and said, "please?"

"No promises, "Rayner groaned. He texted Gab to ask if he was awake and interested in a call. The same timeframe and response as last time came through. A couple of minutes after that, Rayner's cell started to ring, and he picked it up and held it to his ear.

"Good morning!" Gab said excitedly into the phone, Rayner could hear the faint sound of other beings around him and then the clank of a door opening with a gust of wind blowing around.

"Good morning," Rayner said softly into his phone. Hearing his voice again softened Rayner and made him smile.

"I was kind of hoping you'd phone this morning," Gab admitted, "How are you doing?"

"Really weird," Rayner said with a sigh, "This morning has been really out there. How are you doing before I get into it?"

"Oh?" Gab muttered, "I'm okay, it's pretty dead on campus, but my roommate is still here, so that's a bit of a bummer. What's going on? Everything okay?"

"Umm," Rayner groaned and tried to think of how to say this, "Where are you?"

"I'm about halfway to the courtyard," Gab answered quickly, "something happen?"

"Little bit," Rayner muttered but quickly added, "nothing bad, just yesterday's stuff, being with you... I'm just trying to figure out how to ask this. You're probably not going to like it."

"I like you," Gab said quietly, "Well, love you. I'm sure it can't be that bad if it's anything like yesterday."

"I love you too Gab," Rayner said after a second of hesitation, "I love you so much, and I can't wait to be back there with you."

"I can't wait either," Gab agreed quickly, "but what's going on?"

"I just," Rayner started but swallowed deeply, "Gab, I'm in my living room and I'm not alone."

"What?" Gab asked quickly, "Really, who's there?"

"That's actually what I wanted to ask about," Rayner said quickly, "Would you be willing to switch to video so I could introduce you to my brother and sister?"

"They know?" Gab asked faintly.

"They do," Rayner answered softly, "and I think they are happy for us."

"We are," Carl called out before Tess hit him.

"Gab, you don't have to, though," Rayner quickly added, looking down and away from the glares his siblings were giving each other.

"But they're okay with us?" Gab asked again.

"They are," Rayner said quietly.

"Okay," Gab almost whispered, "Umm... I'm going to have to phone you back."

"Gab," Rayner quickly said, "again, you don't have to, I don't want to push you into this, and this isn't urgent. They just... you know how my family is-"

"I know," Gab whispered, "I'll phone you back."

With that, Rayner heard the line go dead, and with it, he felt his heart drop with his ears a little at the realisation that he was about to do this. Looking up, he saw Tess and Carl looking at him attentively and with a mild amount of concern. Lowering his phone, he took a deep breath in and swallowed hard. He didn't say anything. It wasn't until the video call ringtone came in that he made a noise.

"Skoll above, this is happening," Rayner whimpered.

Turning around so that his siblings were in the background, he almost hit the button. Two loud trumpets of the chair being dragged behind him made him stop though and glance to see both Tess and Carl had moved closer to him. When they settled, Rayner hit answer.

Gab's thin face met him as Rayner held his phone out so that the camera could catch all three of them. Gab looked good. In the morning sun, his fur was shining more than when he had left. Rayner smiled and thought that it was probably the de-winterizing treatment. Gab's smile warmed him, even if it was there for only a moment before he started looking at the video coming through.

"Gab," Rayner said as calmly as he could for as long as he could, "This is Charles and Theresa Pinewood. Carl and Tess, this is Gab Wilson. This is my Gab."

"You whimpering doesn't excuse the fact you actually said Charles and Theresa," Tess argued coldly, "It should have been Tess and Carl."

"No, it shouldn't," Carl almost yelled, "You're not above me even if you weren't underage."

"Holy shit," Gab chuckled.

"Yeah," Rayner groaned and shook his head, "welcome to my family. This is normal."

"Wait, why didn't you say his name in full?" Carl asked, "And I don't think the video's coming in right."

"His legal name is Gab," Rayner explained, "and it is."

"Actually, the video does look weird," Gab as he tilted and turned his side.

"No, like I said before," Rayner groaned, "Gab, I'm actually considered small out here. And again, I'm big in the city."

"I thought we established last night you were the girl?" Carl leaned close and whispered into Rayner's ear as he watched Gab tilt his head and say something silently.

"What?" Rayner scoffed, "No."

"No offence, Tiny, but I wasn't as sure as Meredith that you found someone smaller than you were," Carl explained.

"Meredith's a cousin, and she doesn't know," Rayner quickly explained to the camera before turning back to Carl, "And that's not how this works."

"What's going on?" Gab asked and tilted his head.

"Carl's realising he has no idea about how relationships work," Tess explained before Rayner could, "How did you get your fur so nice?"

"Oh, umm," Gab muttered as he ran a paw through his fur, "A friend got me a de-winterising treatment, and it came with some sort of oily stuff that they put in my fur."

"How did that go?" Rayner asked exhaustedly.

"Really well," Gab said and tried to pull on his fur, "When Olive wasn't screaming at Kacy, she told me I could press the airbrush thing right into my fur and a lot more came out this time. I don't think my fur has ever been this soft or smelt this good. It's almost like bushy."

"Like Josh's?" Rayner asked.

"Yeah, a little," Gab said, patting a patch on his shoulder.

"No way," Carl muttered at the screen, "he's actually thinner than he looks?"

"Carl?" Tess asked, exhausted, as Rayner rolled his eyes.

"No, I mean you're cute," Carl tried to append but looked over at Tess before asking, "Cute's the right word, right?"

"What?" Tess scoffed.

"If he's the girl," Carl tried to explain, "Cute's the right word, right?"

"Mom's a girl," Tess argued, "would you call her cute?"

"No," Carl muttered in dark terror.

"Then don't call beings shit on expectation," Tess explained, "or I'll tape your muzzle shut."

"Fine," Carl groaned.

"Maybe I should have said Tess first," Rayner commented.

"Don't you dare fucking say that," Carl demanded and then turned to the camera and tried to say calmly, "I'm sorry, look, you aren't what I expected. I thought you were going to be like me... that didn't sound right... Whatever, Rayner loves you. Okay? I just wanted to say, don't hurt him."

"I never want to. I'm trying my best to be a good mate," Gab said quietly but quickly corrected, "pre-mate?"

"Pre-mate," Rayner confirmed and glanced behind him, "we haven't mated."

"I still don't get why," Carl argued, "Less now that I see him."

"What?" Rayner asked.

"Rayner," Carl said quietly and lifted a paw up to the camera, "He's hotter than some of the girls I've been out with."

"Holy shit Carl, that's not where the microphone is," Tess explained, laughing, as she moved Carl's paw away as Carl tilted his ears back, "but he is right Gab, you look really good."

"Thank you?" Gab muttered as Carl looked away.

"This was such a mistake," Rayner groaned.

"No it wasn't," Tess argued, "Look, we got to meet each other, we're okay, you're okay, Gab looks concerned, but most wolves are when they meet Carl-"

"Hey!" Carl yelled as he popped his ears back and glared at Tess.

"I'm not concerned," Gab said quietly.

"Then you need to get him out here," Tess said quickly to Rayner, "and present him as your mate because if Carl isn't cause for concern, the rest of the pack should be fine."

"I don't like being used as the benchmark," Carl complained, "but I agree you should come out here. Rayner hasn't looked like this in... well, ever."

"When you two are ready, though," Tess added.

"That's probably going to take longer now," Rayner groaned, "I can't fucking imagine how bad seventy-two hours like this would be like."

"Yeah, but you'd be together," Carl explained but turned to the camera to add, "Get a cabin, though. City wolves aren't good at staying in the Hall. It doesn't matter what you have to say to Sigmund, do not stay in the Hall."

"Why?" Gab asked quietly.

"Let's say it can get uncomfortably noisy," Rayner explained, "and smelly if you aren't used to it."

"Even if you are used to it," Tess muttered.

"You two really need to live more," Carl argued, "actually Meredith should be here soon if you want to go show Gab something to remember you by."

"I'm not fucking doing that," Rayner grimaced.

"Well, I'm not sure if he's going to show you anything. He's a city wolf in a courtyard," Carl argued, "unless he's a lot more comfortable with himself in public than he looks-"

"I am not," Gab admitted quietly.

"Gab, say goodbye to Tess and Carl," Rayner grumbled as he got up.

"Bye, Gab," Tess laughed as Rayner stormed away, "it was good to meet you!"

"It's Carl and Tess," Carl yelled, "Bye Gab, I hope you enjoy what Rayner has to show."

"Not fucking doing that," Rayner yelled before slamming the door, turning the light on and slumping down by the edge of his bed. On the floor, Rayner pulled the phone back up and looked at Gab smiling at him. Quietly he said, "I am so sorry about them."

"Honestly," Gab whispered into his phone, "They are a lot more accepting than I expected."

"Yeah, me too," Rayner whispered, "I just wish they wouldn't be as, like... actually, they are always like that."

"So they really are... like," Gab tried his best to flex his muscles like they do in the strong wolf competitions but then just added, "Really big?"

"You have to remember that it's easier to build muscle out here," Rayner explained, "everything we do is either strength-based or some sort of endurance."

"You going to work me to the bone?" Gab asked quietly.

"And then find someplace to bury it," Rayner responded with a smile, but he shook his head quickly and then groaned, "I'm sorry that... I can't believe I just said that. Being out here, it's just a lot more open."

"Yeah, you've said," Gab said quietly, he was smiling though which surprised Rayner.

"Last thing you probably want is someone as crude as Carl is," Rayner muttered, "I mean, could you ever imagine doing something like what he suggested."

"I," Gab whispered, tilted his ears back, and looked away from the camera, "don't... know."

"Gab?" Rayner wasn't sure if he chuckled or shuddered, "Rather bold. I'm not sure if I could. They're right outside."

"I always love seeing you," Gab quietly whispered, "You being away."

"Well I'll be back Monday morning," Rayner whispered, "I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait either," Gab almost sounded like he was shaking, "Okay, I think, I... I'm not going to be able to stand up for a bit."

"I'm glad you like me," Rayner whispered, looking at Gab, biting his lips and tucking his ears so far back that Rayner couldn't see them.

"I love you so much," Gab whispered but descended into a whimper as he spoke, "I'm so happy your family likes me. You have no idea how happy that makes me."

"I love you too," Rayner whimpered back, smiling and shaking slightly, "That's how you make me feel all the time, Gab. I really hope you have a good day. I'll try and text when I can, but it's packed. Worst case is I'll send you a message before I go to bed."

"Okay, work hard and stay safe," Gab whispered.

"And Gab," Rayner whispered, trying his best to stay stable, "thank you so much for meeting my siblings. I told Carl last night about us and me, and it's been really hard. It's terrifying, but I keep getting told the Pack is different. It feels like we actually may be accepted here for once, though."

"I'd really like that," Gab whispered.

"To join my cult?" Rayner whispered through a small laugh.

"Make it our cult," Gab whispered back, "If that's where you are. I want to be there too."

"I love you so fucking much," Rayner whimpered.

"I love you more," Gab whispered and nodded.

"Bye," Rayner whispered and gave a small wave. Gab did the same; the video cut out just before Rayner pushed the button.

Breathing heavily, Rayner held the phone up against his chest again, but unlike yesterday, he smiled. He still missed Gab to the point where every part of him ached. There was something in seeing him smile and hearing him talk that made it better.

"I love you so fucking much," Rayner whispered to the empty room.

Sitting there on the floor, Rayner enjoyed just being. The sun was up, and a lot of wolves were outside walking and working already, but their voices were happy. Today's weddings were a celebration of life and love and the result of planning and pleasure. Today was celebrating the best of life. Today Rayner had hope that he'd be able to one day have his own May Day celebration.

"Tess, I owe me ten," Carl yelled back out of the door he barged into a couple of minutes later after seeing Rayner on the floor. Rayner growled at him, tilting his ears back, and tried his best to put the shorts he was wearing back on.

"Thank you Rayn!" Tess yelled from the living room.

"It's long-distance bonding," Carl tried to argue with Rayner, "Plus, it's practice for the summer. Just tie yourself up until we break for lunch."

"I'm absolutely not fucking doing that, Carl," Rayner argued, "Not out in the damn field."

"That's why you do it in the bush," Carl pointed out, "Why would you get off in the field?"

"Just don't get any on Carl's shorts," Tess called from the living room. Rayner groaned loud enough that it sounded like a slight growl as Carl turned to him.

"But those aren't my shorts," Carl yelled back.

"They are," Tess explained, "He got them from your dresser yesterday when he came home so pent up he smelt like heat."

"They aren't and men can't do that," Carl pointed out.

"They are, they can, and his backpack still smells like it," Tess yelled.

"You can have 'em. If they fit you, they don't fit me," Carl quietly said as he walked past Rayner and grabbed his backpack. Before Rayner could move, Carl opened it, stuck his nose, and groaned. Lifting his head out quickly, he gave a slight twinge and said, "Wow, Rayner... that's... you smelt like that?"

"Carl, what the fuck?" Rayner scoffed as he scrambled to get his bag back.

"Tess said heat," Carl complained and groaned before asking, "This is what women smell like to you? That's awful."

"I don't know?" Rayner said with a frown as Carl stuck his nose back in, "Seriously? Give me my fucking backpack."

"Oh, wow, what the fuck, Dad's right about the fox," Carl groaned with a scowl on his face, "That's like four-day-old beer used as bong water. You actually live with that?"

"Fuck off, Carl," Rayner complained as he finally was able to get up off the ground, "it's not that bad."

Snatching the backpack, Rayner stuck his nose in to make sure Carl was overreacting. He couldn't detect his own scent, and Jack's was there but wasn't nearly as strong as it was at the apartment. He could smell Gab, though. The breath filled his lungs and his sheath faster than he expected. Groaning, he pulled his nose out, closed the backpack quickly and put it down. Shuddering, Rayner groaned and swallowed hard, trying to clear his mind as best he could.

"I shouldn't have done that," Rayner muttered.

"You mean stick your nose into a bag that smells like heat a couple of minutes before you go out branding?" Carl clarified, chuckled, then turned to the door and yelled, "You were right, Tess, it does smell like heat."

"What, why?" Tess yelled back, "Also, Meredith says she's heading out now."

"Rayner smelt it," Carl yelled and looked back at Rayner with a smile, "and now I can smell him."

"Oh fuck," Rayner whispered, looked down at himself and then shook his head.

"Hey! Does that smell do to you what your heat does to me?" Carl asked Tess as he grabbed his gloves off his dresser.

"You mean make me uncomfortable?" Tess mockingly asked, "Yes."

"Seriously?" Rayner yelled, snapping his head up and added, "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Tess!"

"That backpack isn't that bad. Your fur was blah," Tess came to the door, replacing Carl, and said quietly, "I needed out of this house. That's why I went and did laundry."

"You are becoming Mom," Carl scoffed, looking at the door as they all heard Meredith pull up and honk.

"Just stop talking, idiot," Tess growled, "Let's just get today done and gone. No word of this to Meredith."

"Yes, Mom," Carl teased as he grabbed his pack, shoved his gloves into it, and headed toward and out the door with the container of coffee. Talking through a yawn he added, "Today should suck!"

Rayner shook his head and followed but didn't say anything. Tess rolled her eyes and closed the door behind them.