Rayner's Way: Chapter 10 - May Day Part 2
#10 of Rayners Way
When his siblings try and be helpful it doesn't go the way Rayner wants but sometimes it works out.
Trying to say their hellos was pointless. The three were met instantly with Meredith speeding off. The truck revved hard as she peeled out into the gravel road but away from where they were going.
"Shitty morning?" Tess yelled, trying to get her seatbelt on. Rayner and Carl held on tight to the railing to the truck bed without much help.
"My fucking father," Meredith growled loud enough that even Rayner could hear her, "I'm Grounded! Or some shit. Just for telling 'Ta about him."
"What the fuck does that mean?" Tess yelled.
"No idea!" Meredith responded angrily as she slowed down a bit and turned onto a different side road, "not like I do anything other than work and school because of him."
"It's not like he can take your truck away," Tess added.
"And like, how could he make my life worse?" Meredith asked, "Yelled at me for like twenty minutes then said he'd fucking follow me. I changed that fuckers bandages this morning."
"Is he?" Tess asked and turned.
"I haven't seen anyone," Carl yelled, "but holding on for my life isn't making being a watchdog easy."
"Sorry," Meredith said, slowed the truck down and growled, "Fuck that stupid fucker!"
"If he makes more pups like you then I'm good with it but the pack doesn't need another him," Carl tried to reason as he righted himself.
"Fucking right!" Meredith growled. Bringing the truck to a full stop at the pullout, she got out, slammed the door, and walked a bit as the three watched her. She got angry, sometimes this angry, but all three understood why.
"I'm going to text mom to keep an eye on him," Rayner said quietly as they watched Meredith pace. Rayner felt himself shaking but tried his best not to make it obvious.
His mom's reply came back quickly, but Meredith had already warned her a few minutes ago. Currently, a couple of wolves were trying to find out where he was. If he showed up at their site though they were to let her and the council know. Rayner showed the text to the other two and they nodded in agreement.
"Sorry," Meredith muttered as she got back into the driver's seat and put the truck into drive, "I'm fine, just needed to get out."
"Well at least you have us for today," Tess offered, as they turned back onto the gravel road.
"Fuck that," Carl yelled, "You have us every day."
"True," Tess corrected.
"You need a place to escape that shit," Carl yelled, "Call me."
"What?" Tess turned and asked.
"Well call Tess first of course," Carl corrected, "but like, when she's out professionally putting a bun in the oven, call me."
"I'm becoming a chef, not a hooker you shithead!" Tess yelled back at him.
"Sorry Tess, you're right, that wasn't what I meant," Carl yelled, "It's just when you're selling your buns, professionally, of course, I want to give her options."
"Fuck off," Tess yelled as they all laughed, "You aren't helping."
"Aren't I?" Carl asked.
"Never and always," Meredith shouted, "I get your actual point though."
"Actual point?" Carl asked, "I'm just saying when Tess has her buns on display, she's-"
"Fuck off Carl!" Tess yelled.
"No, but," Meredith edged in before Carl said something else, "seriously, thanks."
"Even if you need entirely out," Rayner yelled, "The city's a ways away and my apartment doesn't even fit me but I'd figure it out."
"And think about what I offered last night," Carl added, "There has to be something we can cost-share in the Pack."
"Thanks," Meredith said as she drove. Rayner watched her twist her muzzle a bit before yelling back, "Honestly, I'm almost thinking of going to school instead now."
"For?" Rayner asked.
"Dating?" Meredith yelled, "I don't fucking know."
"Hey, if Tiny can find a wolf that loves him," Carl yelled as Rayner glared at him, "there's hope for all of us."
"Carl, you traitor!" Meredith yelled back with a laugh, "Huskies aren't wolves."
"I'm not fucking dating a husky," Rayner yelled on instinct.
"Oh come on," Carl argued, "City wolves are basically just stretched huskies."
"Haha, yeah," Meredith yelled, bumped paws with Carl through the back window, and almost laughed, "Out here we'd build, bend, or break them. A husky would just burst."
"Alien it up," Carl yelled and made a bursting gesture across his stomach with his paws.
"What's the Pack going to do to your girl Rayner?" Meredith asked as she laughed with Carl.
"Hopefully build?" Rayner argued, "I'm not looking forward to finding out though."
"Just introduce her to Carl," Meredith yelled.
"I am not a fucking benchmark," Carl yelled, suddenly angry.
"Sore subject?" Meredith asked, taken aback.
"I made that point already," Tess yelled.
"Don't get smug," Carl argued, "It's still Carl and Tess until September at least."
"She is right though Carl," Meredith yelled back, "You aren't a city wolf at all."
"Oh," Carl stated just loud enough that Rayner could hear him over the wind, suddenly losing his anger.
"Why did you say Carl and Tess," Meredith asked, but when none of them answered, she guessed, "Did you meet her?"
"Had a video call this morning," Tess admitted as Rayner's eyes widened.
"So she met Carl?" Meredith yelled.
"Yep," Rayner stated a bit too loudly, guessing that he was fucking doing this again.
"And?" Meredith asked.
"Seemed fine," Rayner hoped more than anything else.
"And Carl was being Carl," Tess added before Carl.
"That's a good sign," Meredith admitted, "So, is she actually a wolf?"
"Yes," Rayner yelled.
"What's the catch?" Meredith asked.
"Smaller than Tiny," Carl yelled out before Rayner could answer.
"Seriously Tiny?" Meredith scoffed.
"But hotter than some of the girls Carl has dated," Tess chuckled loudly.
"Is that a good thing?" Meredith asked.
"No, that's what Carl said," Tess yelled, "on camera."
"What the fuck Carl?" Meredith yelled back.
"I tried to silence the call before I said it," Carl admitted.
"By putting your paw up to the camera," Tess argued with a chuckle.
"Tiny, how sure are you that you still have a mate?" Meredith asked as she shook her head.
"We have not mated," Rayner yelled.
"Why?" Meredith asked.
"That's what I asked," Carl quickly yelled.
"It's a big thing to us," Rayner yelled, "I haven't felt like this before. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to be feeling, and all of this is really fucking hard to understand."
"Well you want to get in good with the Pack," Meredith yelled, "Mate out here and do the whole ceremony thing afterwards. Even Aunt Tam was impressed when Emily and what's-his-name declared with their first. Didn't really matter that he only lasted out here two months afterwards."
"Aunt Tam would, though," Tess yelled out, "she's old guard like your dad."
"Dad just wants pups though," Meredith explained, "Aunt Tam is the whole 'strong parents make strong pups' mentality and she's not as old guard as wolves believe."
"How so?" Tess asked as they pulled up to the south creek field.
"She's a serious reclaimer," Meredith explained as she put the truck into park and cut the engine, "has the whole wolves came into this world as a pack and as a pack we all have our place. I have actually talked to her a lot about what she believes. She demands ceremony and tradition be followed. I think that's where she gets lumped into the same group as Dad."
"How's she different then?" Carl asked, sounding confused.
"Dad was happy I had sex because it meant he'd get grandpups faster," Meredith explained coldly, "Didn't matter how badly it went."
"Or your age," Tess added.
"Dad told me on my first heat that I was old enough to have pups then," Meredith groaned and shook her head, "When I had one, I'd marry and make him happy."
"The fuck is wrong with him?" Carl asked as he jumped out of the back of the truck, "What the fuck does your mom see in him?"
"Look," Meredith said quietly and took a deep breath, "You three have to keep this a secret okay? I don't think my parents are happy together... or at least Mom isn't. I don't think they'll be together much longer."
"That sucks, Meredith," Carl said quietly as Tess and Rayner made similar noises.
"I wish they'd just be done with it though," Meredith argued, "It has been a cloud on the horizon for so long. That's why I did something stupid with that fuck up but that's also where I found Aunt Tam. She actually listened and argued with me that I needed to find the right mate for me. Mom and Dad aren't right for each other and I don't want to be like that."
"You won't," Tess reassured, "You're stronger than they are."
"I'm also more fucked up," Meredith complained, "I just wish shit was simple and I wish I was normal."
"Everything is different until it becomes normal," Rayner quoted and they all turned to look at him, "some shit Sigmund said yesterday but trust me I know the feeling."
"You being super-smart isn't the same," Meredith argued.
"Not saying it is," Rayner agreed, "but you aren't different to us, and in September, you won't be considered a pup anymore. You aren't now and you haven't been for a long time but at least you'll have the independence that you should have been given years ago. You're a good wolf Meredith and, like Carl said yesterday, Pinewood tough really does not do you justice. Fuck whatever shit you're getting thrown at you. Those two remain true."
"Fuck you Rayn," Meredith groaned and she shook her head. She had tilted her ears back and tucked her tail as Rayner had talked, but she hadn't stopped him. Taking a deep breath Meredith looked around and said, "Thanks though. This morning has been so fucked. I'm glad I'm out here. All of you."
"And we are more than happy you're out here with us," Carl agreed, slapped Meredith on the shoulder and walked toward the gate. Before he got there though he yelled into the field, "You lot behave, or I'm having Veal tonight!"
"He is totally a benchmark," Tess muttered as the three of them watched Carl open the gate and then turned to Rayner, "I can't believe your city wolf didn't run off when that thing started talking."
"Hey, you said you'd hold his muzzle shut if he said shit," Rayner argued, "I trusted you."
"Yeah, I should have taped it shut at the start," Tess acknowledged.
"You don't know with Carl though," Meredith added, "That may have caused other problems."
"Really?" Tess asked but then turned to yell at Carl, "Carl, you into bondage?"
"I don't know," Carl yelled back as he swung the other side of the gate open, "Never been with a girl long enough to want to make sex complicated. Why?"
"Fair enough," Tess admitted as she walked back to her side of the truck, "just wanted to know if I needed to tape your muzzle shut, that it wouldn't give you the wrong attitude."
"And your girlfriend was okay with them?" Meredith asked quietly as the two argued.
"Probably not," Rayner whispered back, making Meredith laugh.
"Could I meet her?" Meredith asked quietly, her tail suddenly wagging behind her slightly.
"I'm sure you'd be better than those two," Rayner whispered. He watched Meredith tilt her ears back again and suddenly stop her tail as he did but continued, "but it's just... I want my parents to be next, and I'm actually really worried about that. The second after that's done though, I'll introduce you."
"Thank you," Meredith whispered and nodded, "That makes sense. You're a good wolf too, Rayner. Your mate like you?"
"Honestly, yeah," Rayner said with a sigh, "but smarter, kinder, and patient."
"I envy your pups then," Meredith whispered.
"One of the problems," Rayner whispered quickly, "I don't think we'll have any. Not something we can do."
"Oh shit, I'm sorry," Meredith whispered and looked over at Rayner before looking down and admitting, "Honestly... I don't think I will either if I can get away with it, but I doubt I'll find anyone regardless."
"If you look somewhere else you will," Rayner whispered.
"Yeah," Meredith agreed, "I don't know though, not sure if it's worth the trouble if it won't be what the Pack wants."
"It is Meredith," Rayner whispered, "it's fucking terrifying and I didn't find a mate on my first go around but I'll fight to be accepted here because it's worth it."
"What if you aren't?" Meredith whispered.
"Then we'll go find someplace we are," Rayner admitted with an exhausted little shrug, "but I'd rather give the Pack an opportunity to grow than give up on them."
"You go first," Meredith whispered as Carl came back from clearing the gate and Tess got back in the truck.
"That's my plan," Rayner agreed, "or hope, I guess, there isn't really a plan. If you want to go first though I'd be all for it."
"Nah, I'm good," Meredith said as she shook her head, chuckling to herself and opened her door. Before she got in through she turned and hugged Rayner quickly before whispering, "thank you."
"Why does Tiny get a hug?" Carl yelled from the back.
"Because," Meredith yelled back to him as Rayner jumped into the back, "Rayn's different."
"Small," both Carl and Tess said together before looking away.
"Hey!" Rayner yelled at them.
"No offence," Meredith said as she started the truck again, "but you were always quiet and serious."
"That's cause your dad was always around," Rayner explained, "and I don't think he likes me."
"He doesn't," Meredith confirmed, "you're small, smart, and wolves like to hear you. That's like three strikes right there."
"It's mostly women that come to me with things," Rayner pointed out as he was being bumped around, "You're dad doesn't-"
"He doesn't give a shit about that," Meredith interrupted, "when you talk at a table, anything you say is just fact. You're like here's a thing... deal with it. That pisses Dad off to no end."
"But I only say facts at the table because half my opinions would get me kicked out and the other half would get me shot," Rayner complained, "I'm left-leaning, and the Pack is polar right."
"That's strike four and five for Dad," Meredith yelled back, "It reminds him of Sigmund, and he fucking hates that wolf almost as much as he hates taxes."
"Which is hilarious because your dad is mostly protected because of Sigmund," Rayner pointed out, "and would most likely live a better life if the pack was more left-leaning."
"Never tell him that," Meredith laughed, "you'd be better off saying you want to start doing Yoga, or practising black magic... or fuck, even that you enjoy sucking cock would be better than saying that he owes Sigmund."
"What if I did all four at once?" Rayner asked as the other two looked at him cautiously.
"Warn me first so I can be somewhere else," Meredith laughed louder and stuck her paw out. Rayner bumped it as he smiled to himself.
"Warn me second so I can get a betting pool going," Carl added.
"I'd be in. What would the categories be?" Meredith asked quickly as she pulled her paw back in.
"Aneurysm would be the highest payout," Carl said as he started to list off a number of different ways Uncle Anthony would die but then descended into different tirades he could go off on.
"I'd go he'd try and get you expelled instantly and your university money retroactively revoked," Meredith offered. As Rayner listened his ears tilted back to the point where he had them flush as Meredith finished off with, "What would that pay out as?"
"One to two at most but he couldn't do either of those," Carl complained, but he turned and said the next part directly to Rayner but loud enough for the all to hear, "He can't kick Tiny out without both the Circle and Sigmund agreeing, and he can't do anything with the university money because that's Sigmund entirely."
"He's stupid enough to try though," Meredith explained.
"One to one point five then because you have insider info," Carl amended.
"That's not fair," Meredith yelled back as she pulled up to the South Creek fence line. Putting the truck in park, she killed the engine and turned to face Carl, "I live with him. I shouldn't get penalised for betting against him."
"That's not how gambling works," Carl scoffed as he jumped back out, "It doesn't give a shit about fair. So long as I get at least half, I'm fine with the pack thinking they can win the rest."
"Technically, you shouldn't be betting at all," Tess pointed out as she opened her door and walked to the back of the truck.
"You two suck," Meredith complained.
"Probably, the standard practise would be for you to help Carl set up the ratios as a joint partnership," Rayner figured as he got up to push the calf press off the truck, "you know, fifty-fifty the profits of whatever comes in after the payouts because Carl as the network but you know the mark."
"And that's why Rayn got a hug," Meredith said to Carl as she pointed up at Rayner, "I'm good with half. Now all we need is for him to actually do all four. I mean, two are already done."
"What?" Rayner scoffed.
"You study math," Meredith explained in a disgusted tone, "that's totally black magic, and you already know how much Sigmund does for the pack, so that's two. Have you done yoga?"
"Twice," Rayner said, not sure if he actually accepted his computing degree being called black magic, "Friend had me go with her back when I was in Res."
"So all you need to do is some gay shit," Meredith explained as Carl and Tess glanced at each other and then up to Rayner who was trying to keep a straight look on his muzzle. Meredith laughed though, "Come on Rayn, take one for the team and suck a cock."
"I'm not sure if I'm willing to do that for a betting pool," Rayner said, rather stunned at what she was saying.
"They aren't that bad and we will cut you in," Meredith explained and looked at Carl.
"Not for sucking a cock," Carl scoffed. That was hard for Rayner to hear but with how wide Carl was smiling as the got the press off the truck Rayner tightened up as Carl continued talking, "I'd do that for how big this pool would be. I'll cut him in if he brings some guy out and presents him as his mate."
"Deal," Meredith laughed after the press was on the ground and stuck out her paw, "That'd be amazing. Could you imagine Dad's face?"
The two of them shook, cackling together. Picking up the press and moving it toward the corral, the two started hammering out how their ratios had changed now that apparently Rayner was coming out in a more extreme way. Rayner just watched them from the top of the truck bed as Tess unchained the torch.
"You okay?" Tess whispered.
"What the fuck just happened?" Rayner asked quietly as he turned to look down at Tess.
"Carl likes making money," Tess whispered and tilted her head slightly, "and apparently, Meredith is willing to help him make a bet on you possibly killing her father."
"That's fucked up," Rayner groaned, "right?"
"Meh," Tess stated with a shrug.
"I can't believe Carl fucking said that," Rayner whispered as he looked back up at the two in the field, "he actually said to present him as my mate."
"He also said he'd suck a cock for a betting pool," Tess quickly pointed out, "which I am going to love telling everyone about because I don't think that was an exaggeration."
"Carl's not gay," Rayner scoffed.
"Doesn't have to be," Tess whispered, "maybe a little bi? I mean I asked myself that after you talked to me the first time."
"And?" Rayner whispered as he slowly looked down at her.
"No, I like cock as much as you do. And to be honest, Carl might just be greedy," Tess whispered quickly as Rayner suddenly growled and turned back to look at the other two. Tess shook her head and whispered, "Rayner, calm down. They can't hear us even if we were standing near them."
"Still," Rayner groaned, "Skoll above Tess. Carl's openly playing with my fucking secret. I don't need anything to slip right now."
"Carl's a lot smarter than wolves give him credit for and he likes it that way," Tess whispered, gesturing for him to help him with the torch and bottle of propane, "and I think he understands that it's important to keep this between us until you're ready."
"Then why would he say shit like that?" Rayner argued as he grabbed the torch, "What if Meredith figures out he's not joking?"
"Would she?" Tess whispered as she put the torch on the ground, "I'm not sure if I could at this point."
"You're not serious," Rayner said as he grabbed the bottle and almost dragged it to the edge of the truck bed.
"I am. Here, get down," Tess whispered as Rayner jumped down and the two lifted the bottle. Tess put it down and stared at Rayner for a second before saying, "Rayner, you need to actually work out in the city. That's barely half full."
"It's still heavy," Rayner complained.
"No it's not," Tess said as lifted the bottle herself and set it back down, "and Meredith's a good wolf. You can trust her."
"It's not that I don't," Rayner whispered and tried to think of something to say before Tess answered for him.
"But you don't," Tess whispered back. Rayner sighed and nodded. Tess nodded with him and added, "Hope that changes."
"I'm not sure I have a choice in the matter," Rayner whispered sadly and picked up the torch and the vet bag at the back of the truck.
"You ready to do this?" Tess whispered and laughed as she shifted the propane tank in her paws.
"No. I miss not smelling like a seared cow," Rayner complained as he shook his head, "Fuck, my city friends would absolutely scream if they heard that."
"What about Gab?" Tess asked curiously.
"Don't know," Rayner admitted as they walked, "Probably not something I'd introduce him to day one but I think he'd be okay. Not like there's much worse on the farm."
"Infections," Tess said simply, "puss and blood are pretty hard to deal with."
"Oh, and the smell," Rayner agreed.
"Then there's Barb," Tess added, "Watching a wolf shove her entire arm into something is pretty unsettling."
"True," Rayner agreed again, "but I brought that one up because I've actually done it."
"Calvings pretty bad if your new to it," Tess continued.
"It's not that bad," Rayner argued, "Some of them are cute."
"Yeah, but some of them are dead," Tess argued back.
"Oh," Rayner groaned and frowned, "yeah, true."
"What are you two dawdling with?" Carl asked as they finished setting the press up.
"Listing the things city wolves would have to deal with out here," Tess explained, "Didn't even get to butchering, though."
"Don't say that to him till he gets his girl, or better yet, some poor sucka out here," Meredith complained and then laughed to herself, "Could you imagine? City wolves are all puffed up but deep down they're weaker than beer."
"Not all of them," Rayner muttered even though his mind was racing and he couldn't think of any.
"They dress up as cowboys and shit but watch what happens when they have to deal with something rushing them," Meredith complained and waved a hand at him, "honestly, this is why bringing women out here is better. Women deal with pups. We can deal with calves."
"Rayner's smart," Carl said with a smile, "he could find a nice gay guy who could."
"Thank you so much, Carl," Rayner monotonically said as he glared at Carl.
"Actually, that's a good point," Meredith said almost to herself as she gave a half-quizzical look at the sky, "do you think gay guys are okay with shit because they play with their butts more? They'd have to be... Right?"
"Agreed, Pack needs more gay guys," Carl said with a laugh as Rayner's stare got more intense, "Well, and lesbians. We want to be inclusive."
"Yeah, actually, bring your lesbian friend out," Meredith said as she looked back down at them, "Unless she's like Sandra R. then she can keep her tail in the city."
"Who?" Rayner groaned as he turned to Tess. Whispering, he added, "What the fuck?"
"Sandra is the prettiest," Tess said in a breathy, high-pitched voice, "little poodle from school. She loves everyone."
"That bitch has a bone count that rivals a porn star," Meredith scoffed, "came out as bi though because I think she's running out of marks."
"Good for her?" Rayner asked.
"It's fine for her," Meredith said, "makes you realise how fucking sad the dating scene is when you look for a guy who hasn't been with her."
"Or girl," Tess added.
"You said poodle, right?" Carl clarified.
"Correct," Tess said sternly as she turned to Carl with a look that could curdle milk, "She's a seventeen-year-old Poodle."
"Do not, and I mean this, do not get tied up with crazy," Meredith added.
"Hey, when you're twenty-two," Carl argued, "in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by family, options are options. Okay? Not that that's an option."
"If she was the last wolf on earth," Meredith said plainly, "I still wouldn't date her."
"Oh, come on, Meredith," Carl laughed, "you'd make a cute lesbian."
"Fuck you, Carl!" Meredith suddenly turned and growled at him, "I don't need that shit from you."
"Fine," Carl said, putting up his paws and walking toward the corral. Both Rayner and Tess stepped away from her though at Meredith's sudden fury. Before Carl got there, he yelled back, "I thought we were joking around."
"It's not fucking funny to me you piece of shit," Meredith growlled at him but turned it into a whisper as she absently scratched her muzzle. Tail and ears dropping a couple of seconds later she sighed and closed her eyes. Looking up at Rayner after that, she asked, "Probably wasn't funny to you either, was it?"
"I don't have your Dad, Meredith," Rayner admitted while avoiding the question.
"Yeah but it's not like that's something that we should actually be joking about," Meredith groaned as she turned and watched Carl jump into the field.
"Would you care if I was gay?" Rayner asked quietly.
"No," Meredith whispered, "wouldn't even be the weirdest thing about you. Dad would fucking smack me for saying that, though."
"Has he?" Rayner asked quietly.
"Except this morning, not in years," Meredith admitted quietly and the two wolves beside her turned to look at her. Meredith shifted a bit, tilted her ears back further and shook her head before almost cold wrath she muttered, "he just... fuck."
"Meredith-" Tess whispered and tried to move before Meredith glared at her.
"Don't," Meredith whispered sternly and shook her head again before swallowing hard, "I shouldn't have said that."
"You should have said it sooner," Tess argued quickly and quietly, "That's not okay, Meredith."
"It's fine," Meredith whispered and glared at both Rayner and Tess, "Don't say anything, it's fine. I'm fine."
"Promise me it won't be for much longer then," Tess argued.
"It won't," Meredith whispered and walked away toward Carl, "Honestly, I'll get out someway in July."
As Rayner and Tess watched Meredith walk away, they saw her tail start to wag, and her ears slowly lift back up. She stretched a couple of times before hopping over the fence and trying to round up the first of the calves. For all Carl was aware, Meredith was back to being herself. A pat on the shoulder from him seemed to indicate that they were back to being good.
"Did you-" Rayner whispered.
"No," Tess whispered as she shook her head, "I sort of... I always sort of suspected, though."
"She's Meredith though?" Rayner asked as the first of the calves started making their way toward them.
"Pinewood tough because she has to be," Tess whispered and nodded, "Wish she'd talk more to me."
"Yeah," Rayner whispered, "but it's difficult keeping secrets. It makes you feel like you can't trust anyone. Even if it's true or not."
"But it's out," Tess whispered.
"Have to show that we can be trusted," Rayner whispered as he turned on the torch and set the brand next to it. He grabbed a syringe and a series of vaccine bottles inside the bag and set them out on the edge of a log along with the tags. Tools in paw he was ready for this morning regardless of the food they had forgotten to eat in the truck. Rayner looked up at the first calf that Tess tried to grab onto and push into the press and quipped, "You really aren't going to like me."
--
Fifty calves seemed like a lot when they started, but most behaved well enough. Rayner's leg ended up smelling horrendous by the end and even Tess standing out of the way got sprayed. Carl and Meredith kept the parents at bay in the field and returned the calves when they were done. All in all, it only took a few hours, and they were finished just after eleven. Rayner figured it probably would have taken twice that if either Tess or himself were in the field with Carl instead of Meredith helping.
By the time they eventually ate lunch, all three siblings were starving. Meredith joked a couple of times that Rayner shouldn't get any thinner but tried to cut Carl off when he went back into fitting in with the city. Rayner smiled as they bickered but tried not to say anything until they brought him in.
"If you want to bet on whoever I bring back," Rayner said as they argued, "I don't give a shit, so long as you don't judge me for it."
"So you're actually fine with him?" Meredith asked, somewhat stunned.
"No, of course not. Have you met Carl?" Rayner mockingly asked and laughed, "But I'm in the city, I know gay beings, and fuck it, if I bring a guy back here to love and live my life with then fuck the Pack if they say I can't. I don't think they will though."
"Dad will," Meredith stated coldly, "Dad would yell down from on high, if he could. He will say some fucked up shit to stop you, and you know he'll be the one to say it."
"Yeah, so be it," Rayner muttered.
"Skoll above," Carl said to himself after a couple of seconds of silence. The three turned around to see him counting on his fingers before looking up and saying, "he'd totally be the one to challenge a mateship."
"I could guarantee it," Meredith muttered.
"And let's be honest," Carl explained excitedly, "we could probably figure out everything he would say."
"I could," Meredith muttered.
"Where are you going, Carl?" Tess asked after she glanced at Rayner.
"Anthony Bingo Cards?" Carl suggested.
"Yes," Meredith said as she sat up and pointed at Carl, "Easy to sell, and they can sit on top of the ratios."
"Skoll above, you two," Tess groaned as Rayner shook his head and scoffed.
"No look," Carl quickly tried to explain, "it would be perfect. They are easy to verify, and Tone would be facing away so he wouldn't see the cards. No worry, no influence, and little to no problem."
"Fuck Rayner," Meredith laughed, "Now I kind of want you to bring a guy home."
"Yeah, Rayner," Carl laughed, "We'd make so much money. Bring one of your friends home."
"I thought he only has dog friends?" Meredith whispered to Carl, but Carl shook his head, "He's friends with a wolf?"
"Yeah, for like half a year now," Carl confirmed.
"Cool, bring him home," Meredith turned and told Rayner excitedly.
"Yeah, Rayner, bring Gab home and present him as your mate," Carl piled on with the largest smile Rayner had ever seen, "We're totally on board with this, and we'd make so much money."
"Carl," Rayner groaned, eyes wide and ears back, "I cannot describe how much I hate you."
"Do you think Gab would go for it?" Meredith asked Carl quickly but burst into laughter.
"Starving university student?" Carl asked no one in particular, "Rayner probably has a couple of aces hidden in his fur but, at worst, I'm sure I could convince him."
"Perfect," Meredith laughed hard enough that she was having problems breathing.
"That's not going to convince him, Carl," Rayner yelled as he jumped up off the ground and walked back to the truck.
"Well, you're only being cut in if it's a proper mateship declaration," Carl yelled out as Meredith lost her balance, "You have to do it, Rayner. Bring Gab home and tie him. Do him for us."
"Fucking stop," Meredith wheezed as she held her sides, "I, can't."
Rayner shook his head as he put the bag for lunch in the back of the truck, only to turn around and see Tess had followed him. With a quick flick of her paw, she motioned him further back. At the tailgate, they both stood stunned for a few seconds. Rayner was rubbing his forehead, and Tess tried to get her spine realigned.
"Okay," Tess groaned quietly, "Maybe telling Carl was a bad idea."
"I knew that when I told him," Rayner whispered quickly, "How the fuck has he done all that?"
"Maybe Carl's a lot smarter than wolves think," Tess whispered.
"That's offensive," Carl whispered beside Tess making her jump.
"You fucker," Tess growled and hit Carl's shoulder.
"Nah, I'm sorry, Rayner," Meredith came around and said sheepishly, "We took that too far. We were just joking around."
"No, fuck that," Rayner snapped as both Tess and Carl suddenly stopped fighting and looked at him, "would you care?"
"About?" Meredith asked quietly, tilting her ears down.
"I bring a guy out here," Rayner explained, "tied him, loved him, and brought him before the Council, the Circle, and for the whole fucking pack to see. Would you care?"
"No," Meredith looked down and admitted, "what you said yesterday... I don't care even if Dad does."
"You sure?" Rayner demanded loudly, making Meredith flinch.
"Yes," Meredith said.
"Good because you were the only one joking around," Rayner said quickly and glanced at Carl, "he wasn't."
"What?" Meredith asked and lifted her head back up.
"I'm actually gay, Meredith," Rayner admitted, "Carl hasn't been joking. The wolf I'm dating is Gab Wilson, he is thin and city, but I love him."
"And he's more attractive than some of the wolves Carl has been out with," Tess added softly, "again, according to Carl."
"I thought he wouldn't hear me," Carl spat out.
"Would you two stop?" Rayner asked as he glared at him before looking back at Meredith, "You okay."
"Yeah," Meredith muttered.
"I can walk home if you want, but please keep that a secret until I actually tell my parents," Rayner said more calmly than he expected, "Even if you don't care about it."
"No, umm," Meredith said, shaking her head, "well, turns out I do care."
"Yeah," Rayner whispered and shook his head, "that's why I'll walk home. I'll be gone back to the city for a while, and then-"
"No, I'm scared for you, you tiny little runt... And Carl, you asshole," Meredith's voice picked up as she punched Carl's other arm. Unlike getting hit by Tess, though, Carl yelped and grabbed his shoulder after Meredith made contact. Moving away, Carl swore up a storm, but they ignored him. Shaking her head, Meredith added, "But like, you're not joking. Are you?"
"No," Rayner said as he shook his head, "Marked, pre-mated as of like a month ago. I love him, Meredith."
"Are you sure?" Meredith asked sternly.
"No woman in heat has ever been able to make me feel what I do when I get even a simple text from Gab," Rayner said quietly, "his scent, his touch... I don't want to live without it, and like I said before, I'll go find somewhere that accepts that if here doesn't."
"You won't have to, Rayner," Tess said sternly.
"He might," Meredith argued and shook her head, "you said you'd rather give the Pack a chance to grow, though... Fucking hell, Tiny."
"You okay?" Rayner asked quietly.
"Not really but I won't fucking tell," Meredith admitted. She reasoned, "I mean, yes, you have always been weird. And small. Like, really small. And, I mean, you're kind of girly. Well, very girly. Maybe your fur should have been the first hint. You have to promise me to give me a heads up before Dad finds out, though."
"Deal," Rayner agreed on instinct but wasn't sure if he should have with all of that. What was up with his fur? Tilting his head briefly, he added, "Well, I'll tell you before I tell my parents, but after that, it's probably coming all undone."
"Actually, can I move out before you do?" Meredith asked quietly.
"So long as Carl stops telling beings," Rayner said as he glanced at Carl walking around holding his arm.
"I didn't say shit!" Carl turned and yelled, "She knows because you told her!"
"That's a technicality," Rayner yelled back at him, "Just because you weren't caught didn't mean you did right."
"You got your answer on how she'd react without having to tell her," Carl argued back, "If Meredith is okay with you and Gab after living with Anthony her entire life, who else in this pack are you afraid of?"
"Other than Anthony, himself, and the Elders on the council that support his seat and his position," Tess muttered, "That's actually a good point."
"And I'm still making those bingo cards with or without either of you!" Carl added.
"How long has he known?" Meredith asked quietly as the other two shook their heads.
"I told him last night," Rayner groaned.
"So from nothing to a betting pool and bingo card distribution thing in less than twenty-four hours?" Meredith asked and scoffed.
"No," Rayner corrected, "he's literally come up with all of this after talking with you."
"Oh... wait a fucking minute, you also have fucking Carl on board with you being gay," Meredith suddenly argued, "It's not just me that could have been against this."
"I like sex, though," Carl yelled.
"I would like sex if it felt good," Meredith yelled back at him before turning and saying quietly, "Not like that changes my point."
"True, but the shit Carl has said and done in the last day has sort of made me numb," Rayner admitted. He frowned at himself before adding, "And stupid for actually listening to him."
"You ever try anything with your girlfriends?" Meredith asked quietly.
"Bell? No, fuck no," Rayner said quickly and sternly, "I don't think she actually ever saw me in the fur. And I couldn't in high school."
"You know, the more you talk about Bell, the more I feel sorry for her," Tess said and shook her head, "Six months with a wolf that didn't actually love her, and she never got to see naked."
"Six months?" Meredith scoffed, "What the fuck were you doing, Tiny? She was way hotter than you."
"Trying to make it work," Rayner explained quietly, "I tried really hard to, actually."
"Except, you know," Tess muttered, "Without actually trying anything,"
"Weren't there signs?" Meredith asked.
"I asked that," Carl yelled.
"You probably said some stupid shit, like did you enjoy the circle jerks in the bathroom more than the other guys," Meredith turned and yelled at Carl.
"No I didn't," Carl yelled.
"He actually didn't," Rayner confirmed when Meredith looked at him.
"But, for real, though, did you?" Carl yelled at Rayner.
"So close Carl," Tess yelled.
"Carl, if those exist, I don't want to know," Rayner turned and yelled at him as well, "Ever!"
"I don't think they do," Carl complained.
"That's on me," Meredith said with a sigh, "I shouldn't have offered a Carl question."
"But your point," Rayner said and shook his head, "looking back, yes, but at the time, I just sort of explained them all away."
"Why?" Meredith asked.
"What do you mean, why? Because I didn't want to be gay," Rayner explained with a shrug, "Till Gab, being gay meant isolation and fear and a lifetime alone."
"Still could," Meredith muttered.
"Meredith, I love him," Rayner said emphatically, "I lust him; I want to be with him forever or just be able to touch him for a moment. I haven't felt that before. I didn't want to get near Bell because I was scared of being close to her or that it didn't feel right or whatever. I have been in my fur, cuddling with Gab, and I swear if someone told me to describe paradise, that's what I'd describe to them."
"Carl, have you loved a wolf like that?" Meredith turned and yelled.
"Yes," Carl turned and yelled as he returned to them. When he finally got back to the truck, still rubbing his shoulder, he said, "This is probably going to bruise, you know."
"That was the intent," Meredith said sternly but then shook her head and turning to Tess, she asked, "You aren't with them, are you?"
"Honestly, before Tim did his whole thing," Tess said hesitantly, "it was sort of going that way."
"So, is there something I missed," Meredith asked quietly to Tess.
"You're dating out here," Tess said as she waved her paw around, "maybe there just isn't a wolf for you out here."
"I didn't find Gab out here," Rayner added, agreeing, "and the way I met him was a fluke, but it's like, you know, do something you like and look there."
"Don't say you just know," Meredith complained.
"I didn't," Rayner explained, "he was hot, and I wanted him, but I didn't just know. It's not all physical."
"Yeah," Carl agreed, "my girlfriend had a significantly smaller cock than Gab does, but I still-"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tess almost hissed at Carl as Meredith tried not to laugh, and Rayner rolled his eyes.
"I'm not wrong," Carl said with a laugh but then turned to Rayner, "I mean, hopefully... I mean, unless that's something you're into."
"Nope, I like playing with my boyfriend's very normal-sized knot," Rayner said as he shook his head, "thank you very much."
"Legit though, Gab was kind of hot like a girl," Carl explained, "put him in a dress and face away from me-"
"Please to fuck stop talking," Rayner yelled.
"Just saying," Carl said with a shrug, "I get why you like him."
"I'm not comfortable saying thank you," Rayner groaned, "but thank you... I think."
"What? Am I wrong?" Carl turned and asked Tess defensively.
"In the head, yes," Tess scoffed but looked between Rayner and Meredith before saying, "Well, Gab's not really my type of wolf, but he is attractive in a, I guess, city sort of way?"
"What does that mean?" Rayner asked, somewhat confused.
"He smells nice, his fur is soft, and he looks like the heaviest thing he can carry is his emotions," Meredith quickly rattled off.
"Holy shit," Rayner groaned, "yeah, fine. Skoll above."
"We can change all of that in a month," Meredith explained, "bring him out and we'll put him on the barns for a while. That'll strengthen him up, and you two can fool around in the loft on your breaks."
"So you're actually okay with me?" Rayner asked as he looked over at Meredith.
"Let me live on my own before you tell Dad, and I will be," Meredith stressed, "but yeah, I think it's sort of like you're in the same realm as Tess in my brain now, but you sort of were already so it's all still sort of weird."
"Don't fool around in the lofts, though," Carl said, shaking his head, "it's so rank up there right now. I swear there are scents from half the Pack, depending on which one you go into."
"So, I am never going up into the lofts," Rayner said quietly.
"Me either," Meredith and Tess said together as they stared at Carl.
"Or the Hall at night and the Hall basement," Rayner listed off, "is there any other place I should avoid if I don't want to smell more than... any Pack member actually?"
"Umm, that large shed on the west hilly field, the treed area if you go past the cabins from the Hall, cabin six actually should be avoided entirely, and there's a tree fort on the hill over there," Carl listed off and then pointed to a hill just past the field the worked on, "it's not bad, but you said, anyone."
"Skoll above, the Pack is disgusting. I'm sending a text to the two of you," Tess muttered, and Rayner glanced at her furiously tapping on her phone. A couple of seconds later, she looked up and said, "That should buzz you when we get back into cell service."
"Speaking of," Meredith groaned, "We should probably get to Samson's field. Hopefully, those fuzz butts are actually a decent way through their lot."
"They won't be," Carl argued, "Won't be anywhere if Matthew's on the brand."
"Better get there fast then," Tess said, shaking her head.
The four turned and walked around the truck to get in, but Meredith stopped Rayner before he tried to lift himself up. She pulled him into a hug without saying anything and hunched down so her head was under his neck. Hugging back softly, Rayner felt happy that she seemed comfortable. She was tall and could crush him easier than Carl could but she felt softer.
"Look, Tess isn't going to like me asking this, but I am actually worried about you," she whispered softly, "Have you thought of just learning to love a girl."
"Have you?" Rayner shot back coldly.
"Please, if life was all magic and happy and we could do anything we could want," Meredith flippantly waved off, "I'd stick a knot and balls on a girl when I needed to have pups, get it over with, and just live the rest of the time."
"Meredith," Rayner whispered, "You can do that. That's basically just IVF."
"What?" Meredith asked as she sort of flinched.
"You can do that now," Rayner explained, "You know. I mean, have you ever thought... there is some amount of genetics in being-"
"I'm not gay, you little shit," Meredith let go and put her paws on his shoulders.
"I'm not saying that," Rayner offered, "Don't have to be to like someone."
"I'm not," Meredith argued, "Dad would actually kill me. I can't be."
"Meredith?" Rayner almost gasped into a whisper. Pulling apart, he looked at her in the eyes. Even though Meredith looked like she could crush him, Rayner suddenly saw the pup she once was. The same scared eyes that she had had all those years ago came back in an instant. Closing them, Meredith gave him just a fraction of a nod, and Rayner pulled her back into a tight hug. He whispered when he was able to, "Meredith, you need to get out of that house."
"I know," Meredith whispered, "I will."
"And if something ever happens," Rayner whispered softly, "Drive to the city and stay with me or if it's the summer, we can go together."
"Still not-" Meredith whispered softly as she started to shake her head.
"I'm fucking serious, Meredith," Rayner whispered sternly, "Regardless of what you are, I can't imagine what living with him is like. You never deserved any of that."
"Rayner," Meredith whispered, nodding, "Thank you."
"You deserve so much more, Meredith," Rayner tried his best to be comforting.
"I just don't want to be alone," Meredith forlornly whispered, grabbing her muzzle and straightening up. Coughing away from him, she swallowed hard and shook her head. Remarkably she was able to say calmly, if not a little coldly, "You go first, though."
"Everything okay," Tess asked as the two got into and onto the truck.
"Yeah," Meredith said as she started the truck, "I'm not great with words, so I figured a hug would be better. You know."
Rayner couldn't answer.
--
Samson and his younger twin brothers, Mark and Matt, were done with fifteen of the thirty calves they had to do and were just setting up for the second run as Meredith pulled up. They were all about the same age, and none were hierarchical, so they skipped most of the hellos. Everyone knew Carl, regardless of how Rayner and Tess teased him, was at the top if anyone tried. Samson was the only one who may have, but he was honestly just glad to get help managing the cows as much as his brothers.
With Carl, Samson, Tess and Meredith in the field and Rayner and the Twins on the press, they finished just over an hour after Meredith had put the truck in park. Samson seemed the happiest. Apparently, that morning the Twins had managed to forget to tag a half dozen calves, and he had to round up already pissed-off animals. After that, he had to get two sixteen-year-old wolves back on track.
Starting his truck, Samson gave a quick thank you for the help. The three were returning to the hall even though they'd have to help set up for the ceremonies. They'd be able to clean up, however. Samson quietly admitted he was also keen on abandoning his brothers on the first organiser he could find. Mark and Matt yelled their thanks as Samson drove away and as the four piled into Meredith's truck.
A dual buzz came through as they crested a hill on the way back to where Meredith and Anthony had been scheduled to work yesterday. Rayner checked to see Tess's list but saw a couple of messages from Gab. One said that the group sent their hellos, but the other asked if Rayner was okay with how that morning had gone. Rayner laughed to himself and texted back a long paragraph about how Gab had acted better than he had and that he was lucky to be dating him.
"Fuck the shit out of that!" Meredith suddenly yelled as she slammed on the brakes before they rounded the corner to the field. Rayner and Carl held on but were both thrown into the back of the truck bed at the sudden stop. It was on gravel, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but the two weren't impressed.
"What the fuck?" Carl grumbled as he picked himself up.
"That's Dad's truck," Meredith said as she flipped her truck into reverse and spun around.
"I'll call Mom," Tess said as she shook her head. Meredith accelerated quickly but didn't gun it to keep the dust down, which Carl and Rayner were happy for. When the four had put some distance between them and the field, they could all hear Tess talk into her phone, "Hey, you missing an Anthony?"
Rayner was taken aback by the fact that he could now hear his mother's voice come out of a phone inside a truck currently doing around sixty down a gravel path. She was pissed. He couldn't make out the words, but she sounded angry.
"Mom, Mom!" Tess yelled into the phone, "Mom? Mom look.... Mom, he's at the field he was scheduled for."
"The Black Alley Barn!" Meredith yelled as she drove.
"Yeah, the Black-Alley field," Tess confirmed, "I have no idea who's with him... No, we saw his truck when we were driving... Samson's done; he should be checking in soon... We were coming back as well, but we needed to grab something... Yup, love you, Mom."
"So we are going back to the hall? Meredith asked.
"Technically, but take the long way so that I can grab whatever sanity I have left," Tess said as she put her phone back into her pocket, "Apparently, your dad's been missing since lunch."
"Course he has," Meredith scoffed, "I'm not changing that idiot's bandages tonight."
"Want to stay over then?" Tess asked.
"You have no idea how much," Meredith agreed.
"Aren't you grounded?" Carl asked, adding air quotes to the word grounded.
"If he can't find me," Meredith reasoned, "He can't yell at me."
Meredith parked in Victor's spot behind the house. Not that he would mind. He'd ask what was wrong but would play along with what they were doing or direct anyone who asked to their Mom. As they walked into the house to change, Rayner wondered if Meredith hadn't spent more time out of her house than in it.
Carl was the only one to go to the bathhouse to clean off his fur. The other three just used the tiny shower the family had in the washroom. It worked well enough if a wolf needed to clean off their legs and paws, but once someone got their back wet, it took forever to dry off. Rayner went last, sitting in his room scrolling online beforehand.
Part of him wanted to text Gab and vent, but something stopped him. He had a decent conversation with him this morning and didn't want to make this place seem worse. Maybe that was a sign. Rayner missed when the Pack was simple but laughed to himself because he hated that he could never do anything. The plan was to get a degree, a wife, a couple of pups, and settle down to the Pack life everyone else had. This night would be another reminder of that.
Taking Victor's suggestion, the three arrived at the Hall at three-fifteen and sat near the back of the triple column of chairs. Skoll above, it was loud. The Circle loved to say it started things exactly when they meant to, but it never happened. Rayner noticed why quickly as one of his cousins ran past them with two rolls of cables for his amps. The pup figured himself a DJ but had little knowledge of the equipment he was using. However, it seemed like every pup there was either crying or complaining about having to wear their formal attire. Rayner was glad they came late.
Both Carl and Rayner arrived in black dress pants without shirts. Neither of them liked it as the pants were a lot tighter than when Annitta had bought them. Regardless, Rayner glared at Carl when he undid his button when he sat down, but a few minutes later, Rayner did the same. He envied the sun dress his sister got to wear. It looked loose. Meredith as she had borrowed one of Annitta's skirts to avoid going home, and even she wasn't panting from the heat of the sun. He quickly argued with himself that he didn't want to wear a dress. Quickly trying to get his mind out of that, Rayner focused on the ceremony.
The Pack's May Pole behind everyone looked good. This year's ribbons were more than just the primary colours; some looked bordered with white edging. Aunt Anna's crochet, maybe. That job was something Rayner never wanted. The dance was one thing, but getting that steel beam up and anchored was another.
The ceremony started about half an hour late to the screeching sound of feedback and then an intro by DJ WhiteShadow himself. When no one responded, the wolf looked around to see a very unimpressed Speaker Ebba staring back at him. The little whine he gave off settled the mood when it was amplified. Ears back and tail tucked a bit, the young wolf turned down the volume and gave Speaker Ebba the mic.
"First thing you're doing after we are done with this is explaining to me what a white shadow is," Speaker Ebba tersely said into the mic as she moved toward the center of the makeshift stage. A hushed chuckle rippled through the audience, barely over the noise of the still crying pups now being walked away.
Many of Ebba's speeches were about the importance of family, duty to one's community, and finding a place within a greater world than just yourself. At times, Rayner felt her message fell on deaf ears, but he started questioning the message for himself this year. What was family without security? Were more than just himself and possibly Meredith just hiding amongst them?
He just wished life was simple. The wolves up there had their own struggles but the pack would help them through. Work hard, and the pack will recognise you. Rayner had that. Rayner just wasn't sure of the line that he was walking. With his Uncle on the Council, would he still be recognised as hard-working?
Singing with the pack made Rayner get out of his head. He knew he wasn't particularly good at it, but if he kept quiet enough, he could pretend like his voice was part of the harmony. The songs were old and spoke of the changing seasons. Cycles. Years and decades softened in Rayner to weeks and months, and he felt a peace in thinking that he could get through that. He grew louder until he heard himself and tilted his ears back. At least he could howl on key.
Carl asked why he sighed when the May Dance was going on. Rayner didn't want to tell him he wanted to be there but wondered if Gab would be with him. Every date or partner Rayner had been with had always been with the intention of finding a mate he could marry. He knew that casual dating existed but never felt it was something he could do. Gab was different from all of them. He felt like marrying Gab was something that he felt like he should do even if they had only known each other for less than a year. Being with Gab felt right. Being around Gab felt good. Rayner worried he was being reckless with his desires, but ever since they met, he hoped he had found the wolf for him.
Though all the women in the dance were pregnant, not that any of them showed it. It also wasn't something either Rayner or Gab could do. It was hard to see that far back, but Rayner thought he could see them as they were. The couples were in their fur, celebrating new life the same way they came into this world as. They swayed and danced between the ribbons being wrapped around the May Pole by what looked like three dozen wolves this year.
In reality, only five couples were getting married and about to have their first pup. Rayner knew all of them because they were all roughly his age. One was younger than him by a year, which sort of freaked him out. His mother always had always told him the sands of time made their presence known when wolves younger than him were binding their lives together. She was right.
Carl made a comment over the supper feast that he would be under the May Pole when he was ready. He reasoned Master Sigmund had pups later in life, and they seemed way better off than most. Most commented that they had more to do with them being his pups than when he had them. Rayner wasn't sure how or when the wolf joined the conversation but was somewhat relieved to hear his thoughts on the matter.
"If I had to choose between having pups at eighteen or thirty-five," Master Sigmund commented as the table ate, "I wouldn't hesitate to do it my way again. I had my life sorted then."
"What about when you finished University?" Aunt Marge asked as she played with a bit of ham on her plate.
"You mean when I was so deep in debt I didn't get most of my paycheque?" Master Sigmund asked back, "Took me till I was in my late twenties to pay off my degree without help."
"You were always fearless, though," Aunt Marge chuckled, "You leaving didn't surprise any of us. We all figured, if you came back, you'd bring little hellions with you."
"Sorry to disappoint," Master Sigmund chuckled, "Granted, I learned quickly when a friend had a pup in his second year. I think it added two extra years to their degrees."
"You hear that, Rayner," Charlotte, a second cousin to his mother, called to him, "You come home to settle down."
"Tiny would have to bring a date home first," an older cousin Yvette chuckled, "You scared to bring your city wolf back here?"
"Terrified," Rayner admitted, he wasn't sure what Yvette knew, but the answer always played out well.
"How is she doing?" Aunt Marge asked.
"Bell?" Rayner tried to clarify.
"Yeah," Aunt Marge confirmed, "Your Ma seemed to be excited to meet her, but I haven't heard anything in a while."
"Well," Rayner said with a sigh, "We broke up just before last summer. I haven't actually seen her since."
"Oh, that's a shame," Charlotte commented.
"Don't worry, Tiny has already had better luck than the rest of us," Carl chuckled as he scarfed down another slice of ham. Rayner growled internally but didn't say anything.
"That's cause he tries to be at least presentable," Charlotte scoffed at Carl before turning back to Rayner and saying, "It's good to hear however. She nice?"
"Or hot?" Samson asked quickly before Rayner could answer. He didn't like this.
"Tiny actually found someone smaller than he is," Carl laughed.
"How?" Samson asked in shock and looked Rayner over.
"It's the city," Rayner muttered, "It's not hard."
"So long as you like her, sweetie," Aunt Marge said, giving Samson a stern look, before adding, "We can make any wolf a working wolf out here."
The subject, thankfully, changed after that to something to do with one of the married couples. Rayner handed Carl an irate note, but Carl wasn't phased by it. Hopefully, it wasn't a mistake telling him. Tess hadn't said anything about his relationship since late January.
Rayner did notice Master Sigmund watching him several times after that conversation, however. He never brought anything up nor steered the conversation toward dating, and Rayner didn't dare think of it. If anyone could guess what was going on, Rayner figured it would be his old mentor.
When the music came back on outside to signal that the dance would begin, Rayner got up and got another plate of salad. He figured no one would ask him to go outside because he was eating. Thankfully most of the table was gone when he came back. The only one left being Master Sigmund watching the parade of wolves cleaning up.
"Carl knows who you are dating," Master Sigmund stated rather than asked, as Rayner sat back down, "The not husky. Interesting choice of confidants."
"Is it stupid to say I don't know why, but I needed to tell him?" Rayner asked, mostly playing with his food, "Plus, Carl's somehow good at keeping secrets."
"The Circle hates that fact," Master Sigmund agreed, "The council hates it more. How did he react? If you don't mind me asking?"
"Same way Carl reacts to everything," Rayner answered carefully, "Made a joke out of it but never in the way I expect."
Master Sigmund sat back a bit at that and sighed. The old white wolf was probably getting frustrated at how Rayner was acting, but Rayner was absolutely not going to say anything in the Hall. He was actually a little shocked that Master Sigmund had brought the subject up at all.
"You were right, though," Rayner quietly admitted after a couple of minutes munching on salad, "It's not just me against the Pack. Both my siblings seemed supportive."
"I'm glad to hear that, at least," Master Sigmund said with a nod before asking, "Is there anything I can do?"
"Not right now," Rayner muttered, but after a couple of seconds of thinking, he asked, "How were you okay with leaving?"
"I wasn't," Master Sigmund stated, looking Rayner over carefully. The two shared a silent moment before looking around at the nearly empty hall. With a sigh, Master Sigmund explained, "I was never okay with it, but I was less okay with staying. I have told you a couple of times all I wanted was to go somewhere where I felt normal. It was also a different time. Back then, the Alphas were in the middle of their stuff, and I wanted nothing to do with it. When I came back, I realised being different wasn't bad."
"But you are of worth," Rayner muttered.
"Never let yourself think you aren't," Master Sigmund quickly responded, "You have done more for this Pack than most of the wolves around you and you're only nineteen."
"But now, even more is expected," Rayner looked up and complained, "I feel like every expectation this pack has of me doubled in importance because of what I've done."
"Curse of being responsible," Master Sigmund explained, "Worse actually for you is the curse of being effective."
"What if I do nothing else though?" Rayner asked, "No new programs, no crazy inventions, no marriage, no pups, blah, blah, blah. What if I just read for the rest of my life?"
"I felt like that after the court cases finally ended," Master Sigmund admitted with a nod, "I usually say, then we had Ava, but it was Constance who helped me heal. Then we had Ava. Thing with having a mate is you can lean on them when even the Pack wants you to stand tall."
"If you had to choose between her and the-" Rayner started to ask.
"Absolutely her," Master Sigmund interrupted, "I have and will choose Constance every time."
"What would you do then?" Rayner asked, now curious, "Like early in your relationship? Before Ava and Tobias. What would you do if you thought they'd make you choose?"
"Same thing I did," Master Sigmund said with a shrug, "I chose University over them, and yeah, it hurt to think about, but I'd do it again. If they asked me to consider leaving my wife, I'd leave regardless of whether they'd back down or not. I may have braided my life together with the Pack, but Constance is far more tangled with my thread than they are. I know I'm saying this with the benefit of hindsight but does that help at all?"
"Sort of," Rayner muttered, thinking to himself. Sighing, he asked, "What if I leave and... what if I fight, leave and then end up alone anyway."
"You mean, like, leave the Pack, and then you end up breaking up with her?" Master Sigmund asked back. Rayner nodded, and Master Sigmund took a second to think before answering, "Start dating again? It's not like one relationship ends the world, and it's not like I won't help you even if you get thrown out."
"Really?" Rayner asked hesitantly.
"Really," Master Sigmund confirmed but frowned and added, "Just don't do needles and try not to kill anyone."
"Don't worry, I learned from Carl, if I kill anyone, I'll bury them eight feet down and vertically," Rayner chuckled.
"I think that tip has been online too long to trust anymore," Master Sigmund laughed with him.
"Ten feet down?" Rayner corrected, "Halfway up, I'll throw like roadkill or something to make it hard to find."
"Smart," Master Sigmund agreed, "Problem with this area, though, is it's going to be hard to dig that far down. Six foot plus wolf and ten feet is much more than you think."
"Lot more problems than that," Rayner laughed, "You know, other than being evil, doesn't this area turn to clay like two feet down? I don't know how I'd get there, let alone sixteen feet down."
"So you'll think twice then?" Master Sigmund asked back.
"Ha," Rayner turned his mirth into a scoff, "I think more than twice about everything."
"Well, just know I'm on your side," Master Sigmund reassured, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but this isn't just about dating. Is this about having pups or getting married? University?"
"Sort of," Rayner groaned, "Don't tell my parents, but I'm dating someone who can't have pups."
"Do you want one?" Master Sigmund asked quietly.
"I don't know," Rayner said, frustrated with himself, "Yes. Sort of? I always thought I'd have at least one, but these last couple of months, it's... I don't know what I feel versus what I feel I'm supposed to do."
"Yeah, that one frustrated the bugger out of me when I left," Master Sigmund agreed, drawing Rayner's attention instantly. The man never swore. "Look, yes, the Pack is very pup centric, but that's natural. Talk to Ebba about couples that don't have pups. We are trying not to be, produce or get out, anymore"
"Like, I get that, or at least I'm trying to understand that," Rayner complained, "I'm trying... It's just not what I was told. It feels like everyone teases Carl about not having pups, but when they talk about me, it's like I'm disappointing them."
"Because you are of worth," Master Sigmund argued, "You are in the city, doing something that few of them understand. You're away from home. You tutored their pups, and they miss that. They see your program every day, even if it isn't the one you made. You have helped them, and they don't know how to balance the scales. You having a pup is something they can help with."
Rayner sat back, crossed his arms, and stared at the table. All he wanted to say was that he didn't want to be a burden and that everything he had spent most of the last few years doing was toward that goal. He knew Master Sigmund would argue that he wasn't. How did he get here? Shouldn't someone have told him to go outside, dance, or party or something?
"If you want, I could go find Ruby and have her bring you her science project?" Master Sigmund offered. His granddaughter was seven years younger than Rayner and had been on his heels since she could stand, "She was actually disappointed you didn't have any tutoring slots this trip."
"I'd like that," Rayner said quietly, "What did she get on it?"
"A phone call home," Master Sigmund chuckled, "Project was to show motion, and an overbalanced wheel wasn't what the teacher wanted."
"Oh shit," Rayner muttered before laughing and rubbing his head, "That was probably my fault. End of high school, I showed her a bunch of stuff when I was taking physics."
"Oh, no. We know. She explained that at length," Master Sigmund confirmed with a nod of his head. He got up and looked around but added before he left, "I'll have her tell the story."
Rayner smiled as Master Sigmund left. His granddaughter Ruby had been one of the first pups he had started tutoring in high school, and she always seemed to enjoy talking to him. Emmett, the younger one, was a bit more headstrong and followed his sister around more out of duty than desire. Both were Sigmund's son Tobias'.
Quickly thinking over what he had just gotten himself into, Rayner pulled up a couple of pages on how the thing worked. The idea was pretty simple, but Rayner got a bit excited to see how she managed to build one. Basically, it was a perpetual motion machine, which probably went against the idea of whatever assignment she had. Rayner chuckled to himself at the thought of the phone call.
"Rayner!" he heard her call out as she entered the Hall with a shoe box and her Sigmund just behind her.
Like all Pinewoods, Ruby was mostly white but had a bit more of her mother's brown fur running down her back than Master Sigmund, her father Tobias, or Rayner did. Rayner was pretty sure she changed back into her standard brown shorts when she went home and took out whatever was done to her fur. The little curls in the fur on the side of her head hinted at the braids that once were.
"I made the thing!" Ruby explained excitedly when she got close. Rayner saw her bright hazel eyes had the same fire her father had. She quickly moved past him though to put the shoebox on the table. In a turn, she acknowledged Rayner with a speed that Rayner was worried she would headbutt him and then turned back to open her project.
"Skoll above, you're getting tall," Rayner remarked.
"Five-eight," Ruby quickly said.
"Felt like a couple of weeks ago she was five," Master Sigmund said as Ruby pulled out the wheel and presented it to Rayner.
The wheel was made of wood, to Rayner's surprise. Little weights and L-shaped attachments adored the larger than paw sized wheel and swung as Rayner carefully took it from her. This was impressive, but it didn't look like she made it. This looked like something out of the carpentry shop. It was Ruby, though.
"You get help with this?" Rayner asked as he looked over at the two pieces left in the box.
"Yeah, Dad didn't let me use Uncle Tim's saw," Ruby admitted, "But I did all the stencilling and measuring. All he did was cut. Then it took forever to sand. But look, it works!"
Grabbing the wheel rather roughly from Rayner, she set herself to reassembling it. The two pieces from the box were attached to the base, one was to push the weights closer to the center and the other was meant to push the weights away from it. Once done, she looked it over proudly and then gently let it start to spin.
"This is really well done," Rayner said as the wheel continued on its own, "Master Sigmund said he got a phone call from it."
"Yeah," Ruby quickly changed her tone to a deep frustration and glared at her project, "Bitch gave me a seventy."
"Language," Rayner scolded, he didn't want to, but he was in the middle of the Hall, and Master Sigmund was standing right there.
"No, she wanted a project on motion," Ruby whispered, "This is about motion. She's a bitch."
"That's something to say at home, though," Rayner whispered.
"Oh, she does," Master Sigmund said, shaking his head as he watched the wheel, "Told her more than once, she can't say it at school."
"But what do you think?" Ruby asked excitedly, "It's what you talked about, right?"
"Yeah," Rayner said, nodding, "It's incredible, Ruby. You'd have a hundred in my books."
"What do you think of it in wood?" Ruby asked.
"As I said, it's incredible," Rayner repeated, "I'm actually a little shocked at how effective it is. And smooth."
"Oh, Skoll above, it better be," Ruby complained, now giving an exhausted look, "I'm still picking wood out of my fur."
"I'm pretty sure that's just your winter coat, sweetie," Master Sigmund commented.
Ruby grumbled a bit but didn't let that bother her. She also had the assignment mark sheet with her, and she went over it in detail with Rayner to see if he would agree with her about the mark she felt she deserved. He had already agreed, so it was mostly about listening to her complaints. Rayner tried his best not to smile at how frustrated she was over the project but couldn't help it at some points. With her ears tilted back, she looked at the thing, a little defeated but unsure what to do with it.
"Well," Master Sigmund started as he put a paw on Ruby's shoulder, "Why don't you pack it back up and bring it home before too many come back into the hall."
Rayner glanced around; the Hall was starting to fill back up. He realised he probably missed the first dances and celebratory tosses. It didn't bother him. It was nice to see Ruby and hear her stories. Ruby didn't take her long to break the wheel back down and even less time to head out. Rayner had to laugh when she ducked out the front to avoid something he couldn't see.
"You're worth a lot to her," Master Sigmund stated a couple of seconds after his daughter disappeared, "It means a lot to Tobias and me that you help her."
"I'm glad," Rayner said with a sigh, "You disappointed I won't have a pup like that?"
"A little," Master Sigmund admitted, "Your pups would be much more interesting than most in the Pack. If it's not in the cards, I'm sure you'll help raise more of this Pack than most other wolves. I know Ruby at least occasionally calls you Uncle Rayner."
"That's really nice to hear," Rayner said with a smile.
"And who knows," Master Sigmund added, "An opportunity may come up where you are able to have a pup of your own with a surrogate."
"Yeah," Rayner let himself hope, "It's weird to think of getting to that reality. I'm really just trying to get through right now."
"Trust me when I say I know that feeling," Master Sigmund said, with a pat on Rayner's shoulder, "Never let anyone tell you university isn't a lot. Or out here that what you think is worth nothing."
"Yeah, they can schedule things themselves if they do," Rayner laughed.
"I should be heading off," Master Sigmund said as he looked at more wolves filling the hall, "I have a bunch of stuff I need to talk to Ebba about. What are your plans?"
"Be around, I guess?" Rayner admitted, "Try and not look like how I feel. Thank you for talking to me. And Ruby."
"You are welcome, Rayner," Master Sigmund said, putting a paw on Rayner's shoulder, "Honestly, if there is anything I can do, let me know."
"I will," Rayner whispered; he got up and acknowledged Master Sigmund before he left. The older wolf looked at him a little worried but didn't say anything. Rayner nodded and repeated, "I will."
"Good," Master Sigmund whispered back. He kissed Rayner's forehead and then headed out himself, leaving Rayner in the now filling Hall.