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Weeks passed, and in that time, life in the monastery began to settle into a comfortable, albeit by no means easy, rhythm. Rusan and Llifen were gathered in the temple with the other initiates, as they were every morning, practicing Zaulii's daily routine.

"Again!" Zaulii barked out.

Rusan executed the routine flawlessly, finishing with an improvised attack flourish.

"Wow, where did you learn that final move?" Llifen asked him, clearly impressed with the progress of his protégé.

"It just came to me," Rusan replied smugly. In the weeks since he had been under Llifen's tutelage, he had progressed quickly, although he was still a long way off from matching Llifen's level of expertise. Still, he couldn't help but be proud of his achievements, and he wasn't afraid to let it be known, as a self-satisfied grin crossed his muzzle.

"All right, that's enough for today. Gather around, everybody," Zaulii stated as he slowly examined the other initiates. "Rusan, we haven't seen what you have to offer yet, have we?"

"No...I don't think so," Rusan replied apprehensively.

"I beg your pardon?" Zaulii said, glaring at him in a belittling manner.

"I mean...no Master Zaulii...sir."

"Master Zaulii will suffice, thank you." Zaulii said in a stern tone of voice that caused Rusan's breath to momentarily catch in his chest. He moved on to the other initiates, eventually stopping in front of a wolf whom Rusan didn't recognize. "Xihvei, you shall be Rusan's opponent for today." The other wolf said nothing in return, but instead glanced at Zaulii before nodding nervously in confirmation.

"Isn't this exciting?" Llifen whispered to Rusan. "This is the first time that you'll get to show the entire monastery how you've been progressing." He patted him on the back before turning to leave the temple. As the congregation made its way into the courtyard, Rusan sized up his opponent, a young, frightened wolf who practically looked as if he were afraid of his own shadow. He seemed as if he were barely out of his adolescence, if even that. How long had he even been training here? As if sensing Rusan's confidence, Llifen took a moment to interrupt his thoughts. "A word of advice, Rusan: never underestimate your opponent. I know Xihvei. He came to the monastery when he was very young and thus is far more skilled than he looks."

"Thanks for the advice, but I think I can handle myself." Rusan replied as he looked at the other wolf again. "How hard could this possibly be?"

***

It took only a few minutes for Rusan to get an answer to his question as he lay in a heap on the ground of the courtyard, utterly exhausted and beaten. "What...what happened?" he asked in a dazed stupor.

"Well, your stance was a little uneven," Llifen said hesitantly, clearly not wanting to accentuate how badly he had been defeated.

"I see," Rusan replied dejectedly. He could tell that Llifen was trying to hold back on giving his honest critique. "Anything else you'd like to add?"

"Your strikes were executed sloppily. And your rhythm was completely off. And--"

"All right! I get it!" Rusan interrupted as he picked himself off the ground. He thought about what had just transpired. During the fight, his overconfidence had quickly given way to a series of dumb mistakes that Xihvei easily capitalized on. His mind replayed every strike that he should have been able to block, every clumsy attack that Xihvei was able to turn against him. He made him look like an utter fool.

No. I'm not letting that be everyone's only impression of me. He knew it was just his stubborn pride talking at this point, but he didn't care. A scowl crossed his muzzle as he stomped toward Zaulii.

"Wait, where are you going?" asked Llifen.

"Well, I can't let it stand like that, can I? I'm better at fighting than that! You know it and I know it. But I'm not going to let everybody else think I'm a total pushover." He stood in front of Zaulii and attempted to convey as much authority as he possibly could. "Master Zaulii, I demand a rematch with Xihvei."

Zaulii looked over Rusan's disheveled body, making Rusan realize that he didn't even get a chance to smooth down his fur after the beating he had taken. "From what I've seen, Xihvei beat you in fair combat. Tell me why I should grant you a rematch with him." Under Zaulii's harsh gaze, Rusan felt the assertiveness he was projecting only seconds before suddenly drain away. "If I were you, I would instead accept this loss and learn from it."

"Well, um, I wasn't prepared for this fight, so I wasn't fighting as well as I could have. You said that in the ring, we're meant to serve as teachers to everyone else, right? Well, if I wasn't at my best, then that means that I have more to offer as a teacher that I didn't show back there."

Zaulii stared at him for an agonizingly long couple of seconds before he finally seemed to acquiesce. "Very well then. Take a few days to recuperate. I will notify Xihvei of your decision to rechallenge him."

Rusan breathed a sigh of relief before walking back to Llifen, who was waiting for him with a mixture of skepticism and amusement on his face. "Do you really think that Zaulii believes everything you just said? That you care about how much you were teaching all of us?" Llifen asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't know what you..." Rusan attempted to flash an innocent-looking smile before stopping himself. "Do you think he knows?"

"That you just want to make up for how badly you were humiliated? Of course he knows. But Zaulii believes that sometimes, we learn more through defeat than we do through victory. And he probably figures that a second defeat is the best way to impart that lesson onto you."

"Well then, we just have to make sure that I won't get defeated a second time, won't we?"

"But that's not what I..." Llifen sighed before throwing his hands up in defeat. Internally, Rusan relished in his little victory. He didn't survive this long on the streets without a huge amount of stubborn tenacity, after all. "Fine, if you insist on this rematch, I know some ways that might help you improve. Follow me." He took him by the hand and led him up the hill that overlooked the monastery.

As they reached the top of the hill, Rusan took a moment to look at the scenery around him. He remembered that many weeks ago, on his first day upon awakening in this unfamiliar place, Llifen had led him to this very same spot. He remembered how awestruck he was upon first viewing the monastery that lay below him. Everything had changed since then; this was the first place in a long time that he could call home, and now he had someone to experience it with, which made it even more special. He looked at his companion. By the stern expression on his face, he could tell he did not bring him here just to admire the view. Silently, he chuckled to himself. Llifen was all business when he wanted to be, and Rusan couldn't help but think that it would do him some good if he let himself stop and appreciate the moment every once in a while.

"Come, sit," Llifen stated firmly as he sat down on the ground. "Do you know why I brought you here?" After a shake of the head from Rusan, Llifen continued, "You and I are going to commune with the Beast. Perhaps not fully, as I don't believe you are ready for that yet. But I want to help you envision a space within your mind that in the future you may use to lure the Beast into your consciousness."

Rusan merely looked at him in confusion. Llifen's words sounded like utter gibberish to him. But he decided to play along as he saw Llifen close his eyes and relax his body. He did the same.

"Now, try to visualize the type of environment that the Beast might reside in. Look inside yourself and tell me what your instincts say is the right environment for your most basic and primitive sense of self."

Almost none of this made any sense to Rusan. A basic and primitive sense of self? What did that even mean? He had little knowledge of wolves' primitive ancestors, but he knew that they used to live in forests. Was this the type of environment Llifen was talking about? "I don't know...I guess a forest maybe?"

"Very good, go on. Describe the features of this forest to me."

"Umm...there are lots of trees around? And leaves covering the ground?"

"Yes, hold that vision in your mind, and try to make it as real as you can. I want you to be able to smell the scent of the trees and feel the leaves beneath your paws. Are you able to do that?"

"I don't know. I mean, it's just an imaginary forest."

"But it can be so much more than that, an environment for the Beast to prowl around in. Just concentrate, and don't try to force it. Instead, let it appear in your mind naturally."

They sat in silence for the next several minutes. But nothing came to Rusan. Eventually, he gave in to his growing impatience as he opened his eyes and looked around. He was about to express how futile he found this whole exercise when he caught sight of Llifen meditating beside him. At first, it appeared as if his companion had fallen asleep, but the serene expression on his face convinced Rusan that Llifen was indeed awake, just somehow not mentally present.

Rusan sighed to himself as he looked out over the monastery down below. This exercise had simply confirmed what he had been trying to ignore for a while now. After weeks of adhering to the monastery's beliefs and practices, he felt as if he were not even a single step closer to becoming one with the Beast as when he was first initiated. There were times when he felt as if he were getting close to some sort of flash of insight, the kind that seemed to regularly come to those like Llifen and Zaulii. But every time he tried to grasp it for himself, he always came up empty. His mind flashed back to when he had decided to become an initiate of the monastery, and immediately, he was struck with a sense of guilt. He had only agreed to join the monastery for the food and the shelter, with the expectation that he could make a run for it if things ever got too hard. Now he felt as if he were only staying for Llifen's sake, and he was so sincere in his belief that it just made him feel trapped, as if by leaving the monastery, he would only be letting him down.

Sitting on this hill wasn't going to solve his dilemma, and the longer he stayed up here, the more anxious and restless he became. He decided to rouse Llifen from his meditation. He tried waving his hand in front of Llifen's snout. That elicited no response, so he moved his hand closer as he gently whispered his name.

"...Llifen?"

This time, he must have disturbed one of the strands of fur lining Llifen's snout, as his companion twitched his nose and woke up suddenly, letting out an odd yelp in the process. Rusan flinched away from him and shot him a confused look. What could Llifen possibly have been thinking about while under such a deep trance to elicit a response like that?

"Huh? Oh, Rusan. Did you need my help with anything?" Llifen said as if nothing strange had happened. He appeared perplexed by his surroundings for a brief moment, as if he had been woken up from a dream.

"No," Rusan said, breathing a small sigh of disappointment, "It's just that I don't think I'm going to get anything out of this exercise today. Do you think that we can move on to something else?"

"Well, if you insist," Llifen replied. "I suppose there are other training exercises we can do together. Come on." He picked himself up off the ground and dusted off his fur before helping Rusan up to his feet. They then proceeded to walk down the hill together.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Eventually, there was nothing left for the two of them to do but to retire to the comfort of their shared bed for the night. Over the past few weeks, Rusan had grown accustomed to cuddling with Llifen every night. Now it was as if he couldn't imagine sleeping any other way. But tonight felt different. He felt restless and he wasn't quite sure why. Making sure not to disturb his partner, he gently got out of bed and headed outside.

He didn't know where he was going. He just wandered around aimlessly until he ended up at one of the training rooms. Making sure not to make too much noise, he opened the heavy door to the building and stepped inside. But as he entered, he noticed that he wasn't alone. Sitting dead center on the training mat was a small wolf. As he got closer, he realized that he recognized this companion of his--it was Xihvei, the one he had fought just this very morning. Not wanting to disturb him, he turned to leave, but as he did so, he was interrupted by Xihvei calling out to him.

"Wait...you don't have to go. I...uh...would feel better having someone with me." There was a slight tremor in the way he spoke that Rusan found concerning. He could sense a hint of scared desperation in the young wolf's voice. It felt heartless for him to leave now, so he walked over to Xihvei and sat down beside him. He wasn't quite sure what he could do for him, but he hoped that his mere presence would suffice. He closed his eyes as he decided to try meditating again, even though he surmised that it would probably be fruitless. He attempted to get his mind into a relaxed state, but then without warning, he felt a set of claws gripping tightly to his arm. His eyes shot open only to look straight into Xihvei's terrified face.

"I see it sometimes...when I'm all alone."

"See what?" Rusan was suddenly deeply troubled.

"The Beast. Whenever I meditate, I can feel it stalking me. I can sense it in the corners of my mind. It's like it wants me to be its prey. Please...It's real. I know it is. And I don't want it to get me."

By now, Rusan was very afraid. But he tried to keep his composure for Xihvei's sake. "Don't worry, you're strong enough not to let it get you, I'm sure of that." Those were hollow words. He barely comprehended the Beast, so it wasn't as if he knew if there was anything that anybody could do to stop it. He recalled something from one of Zaulii's past sermons. "After all, you only fall prey to it if you lose focus, right?"

"I don't know what would happen if I ever did lose focus, though. I feel like I have to constantly be on alert, because it's as if I can sense it more often lately, even when I'm not meditating. It's like a constant presence, like it's always right behind me, just out of sight. Do you ever feel anything like that too?"

Rusan shook his head. "No, I can't say that I do." He didn't know if those were the right words to console Xihvei with, but he was at a loss. What could he possibly say to something like that?

"Oh...I see." Xihvei appeared crestfallen, causing Rusan to regret that he couldn't do more to comfort him. "Well, just stay with me then. I don't want to be alone right now."

"Of course, I can do that." Rusan attempted to return to meditating, but he found that his mind had been thoroughly rattled by Xihvei's revelation. However, he looked over at Xihvei and to his relief, found that he had at least somewhat calmed down, presumably due to having someone nearby. Seeing that had a similar calming effect on himself as well. After a long while and much effort, he finally managed to let himself relax. He cleared his thoughts of everything that had happened in the last few minutes as he attempted to will his mind back into a state of meditation.

***

"I'm surprised to find you here."

Rusan's eyes shot open as he heard a familiar voice. To his disappointment, he realized that he had once again failed to meditate, but instead, had simply fallen asleep. Standing in front of him was Llifen. He looked around the room and was confused to find that Xihvei was nowhere in sight.

"W-what? Where is..." He was groggy and disoriented from having been woken up so suddenly, especially when he hadn't realized that he was sleeping in the first place.

"Xihvei? I saw him leave a few minutes ago."

Rusan saw that the door to the training room was wide open. If Xihvei had closed it when he left, it would have made a loud boom that would have woken him up. He wondered, then, why he didn't close it or even tell Rusan that he was leaving. Was it out of consideration for his sleep? Or did he simply forget? He didn't have an answer to that. Xihvei was certainly an odd one, that was for sure.

Llifen continued, "I woke up and realized that you were gone, so I went looking for you. Then I saw Xihvei coming out of one of the training rooms. He didn't seem to be in a mood to talk, though. Do you know anything about that?"

Rusan lied and shook his head. If Xihvei wasn't willing to talk about the Beast with Llifen, he wasn't about to risk betraying his trust.

"But I decided to look inside. And now here you are."

"Yeah, well, I just couldn't sleep, that's all." Rusan got up to his feet and started to make his way toward the door. "I guess we might as well head back now, shouldn't we?"

"Wait, as long as we're both here, I've got an even better idea."

Rusan turned from the door over to Llifen, who had just assumed a fighting position. "What? You want to do this now?"

"Why not? Zaulii says that we have to be ready to fight anytime at a moment's notice, as our ancestors would never know when an opportunity to hunt would present itself."

"Yeah, but come on, it's been a long day today, and--" He didn't manage to get his thought out before he was interrupted by Llifen landing a sharp strike on his body. It wasn't strong enough to hurt him, but rather it was more like a taunt than anything else. In retaliation, he attempted to let out the most menacing growl he could before getting into a fighting stance of his own. He knew that he was just allowing Llifen to get his way, but he didn't care. If it was a fight that he wanted, he was going to give it his all.

Over and over they traded blows back and forth. For every furious strike executed, an equally strong counterattack was delivered in return. Occasionally, Rusan would briefly manage to get the upper hand over Llifen by delivering an unorthodox attack that would catch him off guard. He found that the only way to gain an advantage over his much more skilled opponent was to improvise attack moves at opportune times. Llifen was so rigid in his training that his moves had a certain regularity about them. However, what he lacked in unpredictability, he made up for in finesse. His moves were always executed so flawlessly that Rusan would have found it nearly impossible to counter them if he hadn't spent the last few weeks becoming intimately familiar with all of Llifen's techniques.

After a while, Rusan felt himself becoming winded from the exertion. Naturally, Llifen did not appear any worse for the wear. Rusan let up on his attacks and assumed a more defensive position, hoping to give himself just a slight moment to recuperate. But Llifen retaliated by going on the offensive. He unleashed a flurry of blows against his opponent. Even though Rusan was able to deflect all of them, every strike was powerful enough to cause a stinging sensation in his limbs and torso. Llifen moved backwards towards Rusan's side, leaving him in prime position to unleash a powerful kick. But Rusan anticipated this and readied himself. As Llifen let his leg fly, Rusan managed to grab hold of his ankle and pulled hard.

"W-what?" Llifen cried out as he was knocked off balance and his body surged past Rusan. As he began to fall forward, Rusan for a moment thought that he might have finally emerged victorious. But with almost supernatural agility, Llifen supported himself on one hand as he swung his body horizontally. He aimed one foot at Rusan's stomach and the other behind Rusan's knees and scissored his legs hard. Rusan had no opportunity to counter as his legs buckled and he collapsed onto the training room mat along with Llifen. They lay together in a heap on the floor, each of them trying to catch their breath from such heavy exertion. Rusan didn't know whether his exhaustion was getting to him, but he couldn't contain the urge to start laughing. Llifen joined him and soon the space echoed with the sound of their uproarious laughter.

Llifen rolled his body onto Rusan's. "You did good," he uttered breathlessly. Rusan didn't have the energy to respond to him. Instead, he wrapped his arms around him as the two of them locked muzzles in a deep kiss. Rusan's tongue danced lustfully with Llifen's, swirling his own over and under inside Llifen's maw, eliciting moans of pleasure from each of them. As Rusan's hands roamed around every contour of Llifen's muscular body, Llifen responded by shifting his body so his knees straddled Rusan's hips, spreading his ass open wide. He then rocked his body back and forth, sliding the shaft of Rusan's rapidly hardening dick between his ass cheeks. Rusan grabbed hold of Llifen's firm glutes as the tips of his fingers roamed towards the center of Llifen's butt, delicately stroking the sensitive skin around Llifen's asshole. Llifen broke the kiss as he let out a sharp gasp, letting Rusan know how much he was enjoying the sensation.

Rusan was suddenly struck with the urge to take things further. He rubbed his fingers over the tip of his cock until his fingers were slick with his own precum. Then using both hands to spread Llifen's asshole open, he slowly and gently pushed one of his fingers deep inside. Llifen reflexively stiffened up, but after a few seconds the tension in his body eased away as he let Rusan's finger slide in and out of his ass. Eventually, Rusan realized that Llifen's asshole was loose enough for him to insert a second finger. He worked two fingers up to their knuckles inside Llifen and wiggled them around, easing his orifice open.

Llifen propped himself up on his foot paws as he gripped Rusan's hard shaft with one hand and spread his ass cheeks open with the other. Rusan looked up at him with worry, "Llifen, we don't have to do this if you're not ready..."

But Llifen immediately silenced him, "No, I want this," he replied. He bent his knees, slowly lowering himself down onto the tip of Rusan's cock. At first he grimaced in pain, but slowly, inch by inch, Llifen managed to take nearly all of Rusan's dick inside him, stopping just short of the knot. He let out several deep breaths as his body steadily relaxed. Then, using his muscular thighs, he began to move his body up and down along Rusan's shaft. Rusan helped him out by firmly grabbing Llifen's hips with both hands, ramming Llifen's body onto his cock as he thrust upwards inside of him. The two of them gasped, then moaned, then soon the whole space was filled with the sound of their animalistic growls.

Llifen began to pump his shaft as Rusan ravenously thrusted his dick in and out of Llifen's ass. Looking up at Llifen jacking himself off and the look of pure ecstasy on his face brought Rusan ever closer to the point of orgasm. He tried to keep a steady rhythm going between his hip thrusts and forcing Llifen's body down against his cock, but as he neared climax, his rhythm became more and more erratic. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. With a savage growl, he unleashed wave after wave of cum into Llifen's ass. The sensation must have brought Llifen over the edge, as only moments later, Llifen's own orgasm hit. White, sticky seed shot from Llifen's dick, onto Rusan's chest and even his muzzle. As each of their climaxes subsided, the two of them panted heavily. Rusan pulled out of Llifen as Llifen lay on top of him, just as before. Cum that had splattered on Rusan's torso got mixed in both their fur, but neither of them cared.

"That...that was..." Llifen began, but he didn't have the energy to complete the thought. Rusan merely pulled Llifen's muzzle to his and kissed him again, although this time it was less of a lustful kiss but was rather one of tender passion.

***

After several days of intense training, Rusan was finally ready for his rematch with Xihvei. The two of them took their positions on opposite sides of the fighting ring in the courtyard, with the entirety of the monastery watching them. Rusan looked his opponent over, hoping to gain some insight into what Xihvei's fighting strategy might be, but he was dismayed by the appearance of the wolf staring back at him. Xihvei's fur was bedraggled, and his eyes had the look of someone who hadn't slept in days. His face had an expression that Rusan could only describe as fragile, as if the slightest provocation might cause him to break. What could he possibly have gotten up to since the day that he had encountered him in the training room? Could he even fight in such a condition?

"Begin!" Zaulii cried out. And on that signal, the fight commenced. Llifen had suggested that Rusan take a more defensive tactic this time around, so Rusan followed his advice. He stood back with an almost taunting posture, hoping to goad Xihvei into revealing his moves so he could figure out the best way to counter them. The gambit worked, as Xihvei rushed towards him without concern for his own defense, letting loose a furious combo of strikes and slashes. Rusan managed to fend him off, but there was something strange about the way Xihvei fought: it had an unrestrained feel to it, not like the controlled style that Llifen utilized.

The fight raged on as Xihvei delivered onslaught after onslaught at his opponent. But Rusan's defense held strong as he managed to resist every attack, despite Xihvei's unorthodox fighting style. Occasionally, Rusan was able to find an opening to deliver a counterattack, but it was never strong enough to fell the other wolf. Eventually, they both began to tire. Rusan could see the desperation forming on Xihvei's face, and it showed in his fighting style, which began to grow more and more reckless and erratic. This was the opportunity he needed to turn the fight in his favor. He deftly parried a strong but careless punch, leaving Xihvei's defense open for a counterattack in the form of a swipe to the face. Xihvei reeled back in pain, holding his muzzle, giving Rusan the chance to rush at him with all his might. He grabbed Xihvei and threw him to the ground.

Rusan stood over his opponent, preparing to end the fight with a stomp under his paw. But just as he was about to deliver the finishing blow, everything suddenly took a turn for the worse. Xihvei immediately sprang back to his feet and glared straight at Rusan. His eyes...something was terribly wrong. They were crazed and bloodshot, as if Xihvei had lost all sense of control or reason. He let out a fearsome snarl as he stalked Rusan to the edge of the fighting ring. Rusan timidly attempted to get away, but instead, he ended up tripping over his own feet and fell onto his butt. Xihvei then pounced ferociously upon him, claws bared. He slashed at Rusan's body, tearing fur and drawing blood. There was no possible way for Rusan to defend against attacks so vicious as he lay on the ground helplessly. Teeth sank into his shoulder, causing him to scream out in pain. This was against the rules, right? Why wasn't anyone stepping in to disqualify him?

Rusan's salvation came as he heard Zaulii yelling out, "Stop the fight! Get him out of here!" Immediately, four wolves jumped into the ring. Two wolves each grabbed hold of Xihvei's arms and pulled him off his opponent. By this point, Rusan was lapsing in and out of a state of delirium, so he couldn't tell where they were dragging Xihvei off to. All he could tell was that Zaulii was trying his best to calm the crowd who were just as shocked by the turn of events as Rusan was. Zaulii ordered everyone to leave the area, and after several frantic minutes, the crowd gradually dispersed until only Rusan and Llifen remained.

"Can you stand?" Llifen asked Rusan, who was still lying on the ground. His tone of voice was fearful, but Rusan could tell that he was trying his best to hide it.

"I...I don't know." Rusan sat up, but as he attempted to get to his feet, an intense pain throughout his body caused him to collapse. The stronger wolf aided Rusan as he bent down, hoisted his arm over his shoulders, and pulled him to his feet in as gentle a manner as possible.

"Come on, I need to take you to the medical facilities," Llifen said, walking Rusan to a building near the courtyard. He tended to his wounds, applying a combination of bandages and foul-smelling herbal poultices to his body. The odor brought back unpleasant memories for Rusan. He hadn't felt this bad since the day he fell from the wall. After several hours of recuperation, Rusan was finally well enough to stand again, as he wearily made his way back to the living quarters, assisted the entire way by Llifen.

Llifen carefully laid Rusan down on the bed that the two of them shared. A conflicting array of emotions was going through Rusan's head. On the one hand, he was tired and only felt like sleeping. But on the other hand, he was angry at Llifen, and he wasn't quite sure why. Somehow, he felt as if Llifen was withholding something from him. Eventually, this other emotion won out as he confronted Llifen.

"Llifen, what happened back there?"

"I...I don't know. I've never seen anything like that before," Llifen replied quickly and unnaturally. In response, Rusan let out a clearly audible sigh. Hadn't Llifen learned by now what a terrible liar he was? Rusan was always able to see right through him.

Perhaps sensing that his ruse wouldn't work, Llifen sat down and gulped loudly, appearing in agony over having to reveal the entire truth of the matter. Rusan gave him a moment to compose himself before Llifen finally spoke. "Remember how I've said that you're not ready to commune with the Beast? That's because it can be a dangerous process. What you saw was what happens when an unprepared mind pushes itself beyond its limits and attempts to confront the Beast--it ravages them and ultimately ends up consuming them. The first aspect of the mind to be consumed is their sentience, leaving them nothing more than a wild animal."

Rusan was thoroughly shaken by this revelation. "So why would this happen to Xihvei? Why now?"

"I don't know. Perhaps it was the fight with you that triggered it. Maybe he was so desperate not to lose to you that he tapped into something within him that his mind couldn't handle."

Those words deeply troubled Rusan. Sparring matches like the one he had with Xihvei were an almost daily occurrence in the monastery. Did that mean any one of them had the potential to end the same way his did? "So then does this kind of thing happen often?"

"No! Not at all! I've only seen it happen..." Llifen paused for a long while. He appeared timid, far more than Rusan had ever seen before, "...a few times in my entire life."

It didn't take long for Rusan to infer what Llifen was trying to avoid saying. "Llifen...what happened to Xihvei...that's the same thing that happened to Lujing, isn't it?"

Llifen hesitated to answer. In response, Rusan assumed his most firm tone of voice. "I know I said that you don't need to tell me anything about Lujing until you were ready. But I think I have to go back on my word. It's time for you to tell me the whole truth."

Llifen's body slumped down. Rusan could see glimmers of tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "Sometimes I wonder I'm to blame for what happened to Lujing." He made no effort to deny Rusan's suspicion. He appeared broken, as if he was far past the point of hiding anything anymore. "Maybe if I hadn't pushed him so hard, he wouldn't have felt the need to do something so rash and dangerous. But it's too late to change how I treated him. After he turned, I tried my best to put it all behind me, but I just couldn't."

Llifen's admission struck a chord with Rusan. He wondered if he bore some responsibility for pushing Xihvei over the edge. He also remembered that when he met Xihvei, he had seemed tormented by the presence of the Beast in his mind. What if he had told Llifen about that, or anyone else? In retrospect, it was clear that he was crying out for help. Could he have given Xihvei the help he so desperately needed?

As if sensing Rusan's worry, Llifen immediately interrupted his thoughts. "Don't blame yourself for what happened to Xihvei. You didn't force him to confront the Beast. The decision to do that could only have been his and his alone."

That brought no comfort to Rusan. Instead, Llifen's words seemed empty and hypocritical. How could he so easily dismiss the doubt he felt when Llifen himself was wracked by guilt for such similar reasons? He felt anger welling up inside him, but he did his best to control himself. "So what happens after somebody..." He paused, trying to remember the word that Llifen used. "...turns?" He shuddered, thinking of how Xihvei looked. Such a simple word did not adequately express the ferocity that Xihvei displayed before the others dragged him off.

"I don't know for sure, since they don't return to the monastery afterwards."

That came as a shock to Rusan. "Wait, so you don't know what happens to them?"

"Well, Zaulii says that the ordeal leaves them cut off from the Beast forever, so they're not allowed to train in the monastery anymore. But he says that they make a full recovery after a few days, and after they're dismissed, they are free to make a life for themselves in the village." He gave Rusan a smile that Rusan guessed was meant to be reassuring, but instead merely came off as artificial. "They're fine, I just know it."

Rusan gave him a deeply skeptical look. Llifen's explanation in no way corresponded to what he had observed during his years of living in the village. "Llifen, none of that makes any sense. I think...Zaulii might have lied to you."

Llifen inhaled sharply at Rusan's accusation. "W-what do you mean?"

"Llifen, everybody in the village only knows of the monastery as a place where nobody ever comes in or out. There's absolutely no record whatsoever of anybody leaving the monastery and starting life over in the village."

"But how would you know for sure? After all, you're just a..." Llifen's voice trailed off suddenly, clearly not wanting to say something to offend.

"Go on, say it. I'm just a street orphan who doesn't know what he's talking about. Is that it?"

Llifen was taken aback by Rusan's outburst. "No, that's not what I was going to say! What I meant was that you couldn't possibly have access to records of everybody who lives in the village, right? So isn't it possible that there could be an ex-initiate living in the village whom you don't know about?"

"Well, all I know is that if anybody went temporarily insane, recovered, and then suddenly showed up in the village without warning, there is no way something like that could remain hidden. Everybody would know about it. But it's never happened."

"Well, there has to be some sort of an explanation. Maybe everybody expelled from the monastery does all they can to keep it secret. Or maybe they lose all their memory of what they went through. Or maybe..." Llifen began pacing nervously around the room. At this point, it was impossible to say who he was trying to convince, Rusan or himself.

Rusan interrupted his ramblings. "Llifen, I don't care about any of that right now. What we're doing here is dangerous. How do you know that I won't be the next one to turn? How do you know that you won't?"

"I've trained myself to commune with the Beast for my entire life. I know every precaution to take to ensure I don't fall prey to it. I won't make the same mistakes that Xihvei did."

"But what about me? I clearly haven't had the training you have. So how do you know the same thing won't happen to me?"

"Because you don't even believe in the Beast!" Llifen blurted that out in a way that indicated he hadn't intended to say that. His body went stiff as he looked at Rusan with a questioning gaze. "...Do you?" he asked with a tone that suggested he wasn't asking a question as much as he was seeking reassurance that what he just said wasn't true.

But by this point, Rusan's anger and spite had gotten the better of him. He was far past the point of lying anymore. "You're right. I don't." He made sure his words were forceful and unambiguous.

"Then why? Why are you even here?" Llifen asked pleadingly.

Rusan got off the bed and stared Llifen straight in the eye. His steely gaze was so intense that it caused Llifen to flinch at the sight of it. He refused to answer his question because there was no answer to give. All this time, there was only one thing keeping him here, and now that just didn't seem to be enough anymore. Rather than say anything further, he pivoted on his paw and stormed out the door, shutting it behind him with a mighty slam.

His feet pounded on the ground beneath him as he marched away from the little room the two of them had shared for the past few weeks. He was so angry that he could have knocked over anyone in his path. How could Llifen--how could this whole monastery--have kept a secret like that from him this whole time? He needed answers and he knew just the person who could give them to him. But where would he find him? There was only one possible place he could think of to look. He didn't know why, but somehow, he knew he would be there.

He made his way through the alleys until he finally reached the wall of the monastery. During his time here, he had avoided this place as much as possible, not wanting to risk running into Jilong. But now it seemed like he was the only person he could depend on. He stared at the buildings surrounding him. There didn't seem to be anyone else around, but he knew better.

"All right, I know you're out there. We need to talk!"

As if he'd been waiting for him this entire time, Jilong emerged from one of the alleys. "So, you're finally willing to listen to what I have to say, are you? I never thought I'd see the likes of you again," he said sarcastically.

Immediately, Rusan began to regret his decision to seek out Jilong. "Well, I'm here now, aren't I? If that's not enough for you, then we have nothing else to say to each other. I can climb that wall right now and you'll never see me again."

"Fine, fine, whatever you wish." Jilong said nothing more. He didn't need to--his smug smile said everything for him. He climbed the dirt mound next to the wall and unearthed a long coil of rope from the soil. He then hoisted himself up onto the wall, effortlessly balancing himself on his paws as if he had done this multiple times before. He tied the rope to a small eyelet fastened into the wall, then dropped it over the other side.

As Jilong disappeared over the other side of the wall, Rusan followed his lead. He got as close as he could to the wall and with a forceful leap, managed to grab the edge before pulling himself up. It occurred to him that despite his short time in the monastery, his strength and agility had improved drastically. He couldn't imagine that he would have been able to do this before he had undertaken such rigorous training. He lowered himself down the rope and as his paws touched the ground, he took a moment to stare out at the alley before him. This was the first time in a while that he had set foot in the village, and even though he had spent most of his life roaming these narrow streets, they now seemed unfamiliar to him, less like home than where he had spent the past few weeks.

Jilong began to navigate the alleys, with Rusan making sure to follow close behind so as not to lose him. He had no idea where he was taking him. The two of them moved in stealthy silence, Jilong clearly not wanting to attract attention from others to what they were doing. Finally, they stopped in front of a dilapidated building. Jilong beckoned Rusan inside and they both entered a completely empty room.

"What is this all about, Jilong? I came to you for answers, but you haven't giv--"

Jilong cut him off before Rusan could finish his statement. "This is about the deal that Zaulii and I have with each other."

"What kind of deal are you talking about?"

Jilong paused for a while, as if he were thinking carefully about the right words to say. That seemed surprising to Rusan, since he knew that tact wasn't this wolf's strongest asset. "Let me guess your past: You're an orphan, right? Living on the streets since an early age? Maybe your parents died when you were very young. Or maybe...they purposefully abandoned you."

Rusan's hands balled up into fists. "How do you know all that? You have no right to--"

Jilong continued without giving Rusan a chance to finish, "It's obvious that you used to be an orphan. Everyone who lives in this village has an official record, but not you. You clearly have been living outside of society for a long time now."

"That may be true," Rusan conceded, "but I still don't see what--"

Jilong interrupted Rusan for a third time. "Tell me something, have you ever wondered what would have happened to you if you had been given to an orphanage instead of being left to fend for yourself?"

"I don't...I mean, I never thought about it..."

"Or let me put it another way, have you ever wondered why so many initiates like Xihvei are so young? Why they come to the monastery at such an early age?"

Rusan winced uncomfortably, not liking the implications of what Jilong was saying. He sincerely hoped this conversation wasn't going to go where he was expecting it to.

"The orphanage in this village and Zaulii have an arrangement going. He offers to care for those who can't find homes and they become the new initiates of the monastery. As far as the orphanage is concerned, it's a gesture of pure altruism on Zaulii's part. A kindly old man takes poor, helpless children under his tutelage and asks for nothing in return? Sounds like an act of mercy, right?" Jilong snarled disdainfully.

"But the orphanage doesn't know what Zaulii is doing, right? Nobody in the village does. So why would they agree to this?"

"Why wouldn't they? Above all else, Zaulii is sincere in what he believes and how he acts--so sincere that the orphanage has no reason to pass suspicion on what he does. But that's his biggest fault. It's one thing to delude others to your line of thinking. It's another thing to delude yourself so fully that you can't see anything wrong with it. But Zaulii truly believes that what he does is ultimately good for society, no matter what the cost."

"By cost, you mean the ones who ended up turning, right?"

Jilong didn't answer Rusan's question, as if the answer were too obvious to warrant a response. Instead, he began inspecting one of the walls of the room, carefully running his fingers along the cracks that riddled the wall. It was then that Rusan noticed that some of these cracks perfectly outlined the shape of a door. Jilong laid his shoulder against the wall and pushed hard. To Rusan's amazement, part of the wall gave way, sliding back and to the side, allowing access to another room.

"I bet you're wondering where I fit into all of this, aren't you?" Jilong said as he gestured for Rusan to walk into the newly revealed chamber. Rusan took a cursory glimpse inside. Even though it was dimly lit, he could tell that it was much larger than the previous room. "Like I said, Zaulii and I have a deal going."

"You mentioned that, but you never said what that deal w--" Rusan's voice trailed off suddenly as he walked into the room. He had to brace himself against a nearby wall to keep his legs from buckling. Pushed against one side of the room was a large metal cage and inside was Xihvei...or what he assumed to be Xihvei. He wasn't sure, as a part of him refused to believe that the wolf in front of him was the same as the friend he had made only a few days ago. This wolf was walking on all fours in an unnatural manner, growling and snarling like a wild animal. As he made eye contact with Rusan, he rushed toward the front of the cage and ferociously chomped at the metal bars.

Rusan could only stare at Xihvei in wide-eyed shock. "W-what happened to him?"

"This is what happens when someone falls prey to the Beast. It devours the mind until the victim loses every last sense of reason. Eventually, there's nothing left of them but the most basic, savage instinct."

"But...do they ever recover?"

Jilong scoffed derisively at the question. "What, did Zaulii tell you that? No, wait, let me guess: that's what Llifen said, right? That idiot will believe everything that Zaulii tells him." His expression then shifted from his usual haughty demeanor to one of solemn sadness. "No...they never recover. They remain like this for the rest of their lives. And that's where I come in. When my brother turned, Zaulii and I worked out an arrangement. He would let me transport those who turned away from the monastery and I would take care of them until their final dying days. Since then, I've only seen a few others turn, but it finally dawned on me that it was a few times too many. That's when I realized that this whole establishment that Zaulii has built up needs to be demolished. I've managed to get a few like-minded people in the monastery to aid the cause, but if there's anyone I need on my side, it's you."

"Me? Why me?"

"You're an outsider. You weren't raised under Zaulii's teachings, and I can tell you're not beholden to any of them." Jilong turned to look at Xihvei and Rusan did the same. "You shouldn't need more than this to convince you to stand against Zaulii. Imagine what would have happened to you if you had been taken to the orphanage instead of left to fend for yourself. I'm not going to insult you by pretending that your life must have been easy. No child should ever endure what I can only imagine you've gone through. But the truth is that this could have been your fate instead. As hard as it must have been living the way you did, things could have gone worse for you. Much worse."

Rusan looked deep into Xihvei's eyes. Only wild, ferocious eyes stared back at him. Was there even any part of his friend left inside? For several minutes, neither Rusan nor Jilong said anything. The only sound in the room was Xihvei's soft growling as he prowled around his enclosure.

Finally, Rusan broke the silent tension as he spoke, "All right, I'm in. What do you want me to do?"