An Endless Voyage chapter 59:
Around the same time Excalibur recieved word from captain Jim, that is, captain James Wallace, that Karen had landed safely aboard the C.S.S. Lee, May took little Mayua to sick bay for their appointment.
Doc Natalie and her staff had everything prepared when they arrived, and Tom was assisting today as well.
"Ain't that the metal grate table ya use fer yer feral patients, May asked as the good doctor instructed her to undress Maya and put her on the table.
"Aye lass but its for babies too." Natalie said. "Anybody too small for the smallest colon flusher tube. Natalie gave May a mild sedative, and used a lot of numbing lube to take her temperature, then told May to disrobe and get on one of the exam tables with the bottom end folded and a bucket in place.
"Why the bucket." May asked.
"Ya know why lass, as constipated as you are somebodys gotta clear the way before the irrigation machine can do its work."
May did as instructed, and a nurse came by to take her temperature, and then Natalie had Tom hold Maya in position while she went and slathered May's huge canine anus inside and out with that lube making sure she got both the internal and external sphincter, despite all the cement hard shit in the way.
Once Natalie returned to tending to Maya, she handed Tom a pair of shoulder length gloves. "Ya wanted ta help today lad, get ta work." May was just starting to open up a bit and pass gas, cheated by the numbing lube when Tom took his seat at the foot of the exam bed. May wasnt the only one here for that reason though. a fat labrador girl was on a bed next to May's, with her much smaller canine anus fully agape, and a piece of waste sticking out. She was telling May she was here for pregnancy induced obstipation, but a little teacup pocket spaniel was tending to her. Tom was glad both that he could focus on May completely, but also didnt see how he could get more than two fingers up Fina's butt anyway and that would take forever.
"Gods, princess what did you do, eat an entire cheesewheel in one sitting." Tom remarked once May's butthole had opened up enough he could actually see inside.
May's perfect canine butthole was huge. It was already open a good 6 inches, and the sphincter still wasnt fully relaxed. Her colon was packed so tight, what he saw looked like it must be at least a foot in diameter, and it was as hard as cement.
That hard shit pushing against her rapidly relaxing sphincter triggered May to push, and immediately regretted it. The very end of the mass forced her sphincter fully agape, and it still wasn't going anywhere.
"Dont push princess, its too big to come out. I'd give you a enema to soften it up but theres no room for it to go anywhere. I'm gonna have to break off what I can and push the rest back in so I can get my hand in there."
Apparently Fina wasnt anywhere that backed up, as Fifi the pocket spaniel had already started working on her with enemas as well as manual disimpaction and got a face ful for her efforts when she triggered a similar urge as May just had.
"Ah wish mahne'd turn loose like that." May remarked.
"Part of the job." Tom told Fifi. we're both gonna be covered in shit like that before we're done."
Tom was making progress though, he'd finally managed to break up and remove enough of the mess he could get his arm in halfway to his elbow now, and there was a little room he could get his fingers into between the log and May's colonic walls.
The good thing about cheese impactions is they smell a lot less than most other types.
"Try not t' get shit in mah tailfur." May told Tom.
"Cant promise that." Tom said. He used his other hand to feed a water hose in beside his arm now, and worked with that as well. Of course it just flowed right back out because of the numbing lube, but he used it like a waterpick to help soften up and break up the impaction.
Fifi already had Fina hooked up to the colon flusher machine, and Doc Natalie had finally started Maya's colonoscopy procedure.
"Need to start pushing now, princess, my arm's only so long." Tom told May.
Since the machine would finish Fina, Fifi changed her shitty gloves, wiped her face and got a new mask, then climbed up on top of May, and started working around on hands and knees, pushing on May's colon in the proper direction of natural peristaltic movement.
When that last huge chunk came loose it hit Tom in the belly like a bowling ball, before landing in the bucket and sticking out of it several feet. The tenth bucket and counting that is. Nurses took the full ones away to be stored as Xian food for Billy Ballchin, and replaced them with fresh ones.
Tom stuck his arm with the hose back up May's butt as far as he could reach and held it there until he saw only clear fluid coming back out. THen he finally withdrew his arm and wrestled with the 6" hose of the irrigation machine until he finally managed to get May hooked up.
With the job done, Tom and Fifi used the medical showers to get cleaned up, and scrubbed in all over again.
"Plans fer later?" May asked Fina.
"Well I'm not flying CAP wearing a diaper, and not sitting in the pilots lounge in one either." Fina said.
"Yeah me either" May said. "Lets just find someplace out of the way and get drunk."
"Better not let Admiral Karen hear you say that, or you /will/ be flying ''padded'' Tom remarked.
Fifi was just a nurse, but She was a LPN so she could do a lot most couldnt. Tom was finally an actual doctor, but still under Doc Natalie with her being chief medical officer. That meant he got to help out doing rectal ultrasounds and vaccinations and things, by Natalie's orders, but he was still first and foremost a fighter pilot.
Tom kind of liked doing preg checks, and didnt mind deobstipations too much. what he didn't care for was (giving or recieving) prostate exams or surgical assisting as it was just too easy to make life threatening mistakes.
In the time Tom was cleaning May out, Karen had finished on the Lee, and already visited 3 other confederate ships as well. At the moment she was about to land on another, the C.S.S Jefferson Davis.
The instant her fighter touched down on the flight deck, Newly installed Captain Emily Walker unfurled a massive Confederate flag, and had the honors band strike up "To Arms In Dixie" before the whine of the engines spooling down had completely died out. By the time Karen opened the cockpit, the captain had soldiers roll a red carpet out to her fighter. Clearly this new captain was as eager to make a good impression on Karen, as Karen was making a good impression on the fleet.
"Admiral on Deck" she shouted as Karen climbed down from her fighter. Captain Walker saluted, then returned her right hand to its place over her heart.
"Fill 'er up and check the fluids." Karen told the workers nearby, playfully faking a southern accent. That made Emily smile."Admiral Karen Leddoux, Welcome Aboard the C.S.S. Jefferson Davis." Captain Walker said briskly. a crisp polished military tone. "I'm Captain Emily Walker. I took command when Captain Daniels was given the new Titan-Class C.S.S Landry." She extended her hand for Karen to shake.
Karen shook captain Walker's hand, then returned the salute. Karen doubted this new captain was yet acclimated enough to appreciate the canine greeting, so instead she just said, "Thank you Captain, At ease."
"Yes Admiral." Captain Walker replied. "We will discuss things in private over dinner."
"Yes." Karen said, and followed the tall stocky redheaded captain out of the room.
Karen's sensitive ears heard some of the other solders chuckle and snicker to themselves, People that served under Captain Daniels in the Xian War knew the proper canine greeting, Emily could never have heard it as they were out of human earshot by many times over, and Karen did nothing to betray what she had heard. She simply followed the captain to her private captain's mess, where a literal feast of southern foods, and a jug of Kentucky moonshine was waiting.
"Permission to speak freely as we eat, Admiral?" the captain asked.
"Granted. to not speak freely would run counter-productive to the purpose of this meeting." Karen said. and with that they sat down to eat.
"Daniels was a fool, he let himself get way too close to his soldiers, and by the way you are on a firstname basis with Captain Poloniev, Captain Wallace, and the rest of the Xian War veterans, I must assume you are too close to your fleet captains as well." Captain Walker said. "I want to be clear I do not want to be your buddy, just a soldier, a captain of the fleet.
"That is certainly one way to look at it, captain, but respectfully you weren't there. We were in that Expanse for over 5 years, Fighting to avenge the Xian attack on earth. A certain comeraderie builds between soldiers who serve together so long. That said, I'm not Maya. I run a tighter ship. Some things are still a bit more lax than you're used to, but we're all soldiers, out here to do a job." Karen replied. As for senior officers, sometimes those staff meetings were the high point of our day."
"Staff meetings are one thing, that is natural. "Playing drinking games and getting tattoos is not a proper use of your staff lounge." Emily said. "As for the alcohol here, it is a southern tradition, nothing more. Never again will you see me drinking on duty.... and you smell like you have had a few already."
"Meeting with the captains of the fleet, each as part of their culture as well." Karen said.
For a time they spoke little after that, too busy eating and drinking, enjoying a taste of Dixieland with proper fine dining ettiquite applied.