CH1: A Couple of Really Bad Witches

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#1 of Summoning a Little Mischief

It's not easy being a witch. Seen as freaks and bad omens by society, forced to live in the outskirts of civilization, having to deal with the potentially lethal result of a miscast spell or fumbled potion, it's a hard life for sure. But you know what's even worse than being a witch? Being a chimera as well. Urmine and Gothetta are two sisters in such an unfortunate situation. Urmine, nominally a black bear, has a twisted set of antlers growing between her ears and Gothetta, mostly a doe, has a fearsome pair of fangs hanging down from her upper jaw. After the unfortunate passing of their mother when they were children the two sisters have been living a humble life in their childhood cabin, only occasionally getting into trouble with the local town. Yet after so many years of their lonely existence Gothetta finally cracks, no longer content to spend the rest of her days talking to the only other person whom she shares a connection with. She shares her discontent with Urmine and they agree to summon a companion into existence, one that is intelligent, one that is agreeable, and one that is AHEM physically compatible. The sisters retrieve one of their many tomes and prepare for their companion's arrival, totally unaware that this summoning may bring with it more trouble than they expect.

Note: This is a segmented release so around two chapters releasing every Friday until it's posted in its entirety. Tags are added on a per chapter basis.

CH1: ~3400 words

Thanks to NoAnchoviesPlease for beta reading


"Fiddle dee and fiddle dum add a little pumpkin rum! Watch it boil, watch it roil, all the payoff for our toil!"

The doe cackles in delight as she dances around the large metal cauldron her bearish sister slowly stirs.

"Siiiilence yourself Gothetta!" The bear angrily screeches at her happily clopping sister. "I will add no such ingredient lest this bubbling concoction turn us into wart covered toads or cause our fur to fall out! Stupid doe..."

Gothetta stops dancing and bares her large fangs, fangs that were completely out of place for a doe of her breed. They were easily five inches long and visible even when her mouth was closed, hanging a few inches below her chin. Just one of her many peculiarities.

"Stupid doe? Stupid doe?! More like a vicious foe! I've got books, and spells, and foul brews. One more insult and you'll be in the news!"

Her sister chuckles and turns her attention back to the cauldron.

"Oh no, Urmine the horned bear found dead in her home. Dimwitted and snaggle toothed suspect still on the loose." Her chuckling turns into wild laughter before she suddenly turns to Gothetta and points to the antlers on top of her own head. "Watch your tongue Gothetta! There is a reason mother gave me_the antlers and not _you!"

Gothetta tries to stammer out a response but it quickly fizzles out. She looks downward and crosses her arms, brooding in quiet misery. When Urmine pointed out the antlers there wasn't much of a comeback the unhorned sister could respond with. The twisted set of bone between Urmine's ears gave her final authority. Granted, neither sister was entirely sure why the antlers gave Urmine so much authority, but it's something they both felt was clearly self-evident.

A silence falls upon the wooden cabin as Urmine continues to stir. A quaint cabin filled with all manner of oddities. Jars containing strange misshapen organic things stuffed the wooden shelves that lined near every wall. Animal skulls of every common or extinct species hung from the ceiling. The large boiling cauldron took up the center of the room, its surface covered in pockmarks and scratches from ingredients that tried to escape it. Bright green flames from a fire licked up from its bottom. Near the cauldron is a dining table littered with unlit candles and open books bearing angular, demonic lettering.

Eventually Urmine grows tired of the silence and looks to her sister sulking by a bookshelf. The horned bear didn't care for many things, and she would never admit to such softness, but one thing she couldn't stand was seeing her usually jubilant sister sulking in the corner due to something she said. She turns back to the bubbling cauldron with a sigh and decides to give her sister something to do in an attempt to raise her spirits.

"Gothetta my beloved sister, my deary deer, would you fetch me a unicorn leg from the pantry?"

The doe suddenly jumps up and walks over to a large wooden cabinet, her hooves echoing against the wooden floor. She soon returns with the requested slab of meat.

"An excellent morsel my ever reliable womb-mate." Urmine cackles.

The bear tosses the hefty leg into the cauldron and it splashes back a purplish liquid. Urmine increases the rate of stirring and begins ordering the doe around, calling out ingredients with a frenzy.

"Gothetta! I need elf stocking and tiger weed and the tusk of a boar! A dash of sweet lemon and the sweat of a whore! Then a jar of meat honey with a bone that's most funny! Quickly my doeish little helper! Before the fire goes cold!"

The fanged doe runs around the house collecting every requested ingredient with utmost haste, her hooves pattering against the wooden floor with a rapid beat. Eventually Gothetta returns to her sister, a pile of jars, small boxes, and a sizable bone gripped between her teeth.

"I gotch you everyshing Urmine!" She says through the bone, her happy mood returned.

Urmine responds with a toothy smile and begins taking items from the doe.

"Just perfect deary. This will make a most powerful concoction. Oh yes, most powerful."

Urmine takes the bone out of her sister's mouth and tosses it into the cauldron.

"And what are we making tonight sister? An antiaging potion? A sleeping potion? Will we slip it into the town's well and steal all their chickens again? Heh, heh, heh, chickens are so clucky and trusting, and go well with a bready crusting."

"No Gothetta. Not tonight."

"What then?! A poison most horrid? An ichor for aching joints? A devious tricksy drink that gives you the hiccups for hours on end? What are you making my clever, horned sister?" She asks, a curious eyebrow raised.

The bear dips a finger into to the cauldron and brings it up to her lips, sampling it. A satisfied grin appears on her face as the liquid coats her tongue.

"Silly doe, I'm making dinner! Hag's bone soup just like what our dear mother used to make."

The doe begins skipping around the cauldron again, hands clasped together in a happy posture.

"Famine and hunger and tooth decay! Our mother's soup keeps it all at bay!" She happily sings.

Urmine shakes her head disapprovingly at Gothetta's continued high pitched singing and dancing then turns her attention to stirring the cauldron. A few minutes later she's pouring the soupy mixture into a wooden bowl with a ladle, chunks of some substance splashing into the bowl as she finishes the pour. The bear brings the bowl to her muzzle and takes in a deep sniff.

"Mmmmmm..." She happily sounds, the complex scents and vapors working their way into her nose. "Perfect. Gothetta? It's done! Come get some! Put some venison on those yellowed bones of yours!"

The doe appears next to her instantaneously with a wooden bowl and spoon already in hand. Urmine flinches at her sudden appearance but quickly gathers herself, pouring the soup into her sister's bowl. The doe mimics her sister in smelling it.

"Hmmm...the meat honey was a nice touch Urmine. It's really going to bring out the saltiness of the whore sweat."

"I always was a better cook than you. I seem to recall the last time you attempted to make dinner it ended up jumping off my plate and out the window."

The doe shrugs.

"You said you wanted yours extra rare and that's how I prepared it. Now let's move to the table and eat like civilized women folk."

The bear taps her sister on the nose affectionately.

"Ah, you are a lady of high culture and womanly refinement, just like me. I will light the candles for our dinner."

The sisters move to the dining room and Urmine snaps her finger instantly lighting all the candles set up around the dining table. The interior of their rickety cabin is bathed in a flickering yellow glow and they begin devouring their bowls. The sounds of slurping, chomping, and cracking bone fill the room as they slowly go back to the cauldron for bowl after quickly emptied bowl. When Urmine finally finishes her last she leans back in her chair and loudly belches, quickly putting a hand up to her mouth while chuckling.

"Excuse me." The bear says halfheartedly.

"You're excused." Replies Gothetta, slurping up a wriggling tentacle between her lips. The deer daintily wipes her mouth with a stained rag and carefully folds it, gently placing it back on the table. "That was delicious. Just like mother used to make."

Urmine grunts in response, her eyes glazed over as she stares at the ceiling in a feast induced haze. Gothetta puts her hands between her knees as she looks down at the table with an anxious expression. The question she was thinking of asking Urmine sounded stupid, pointless even, but it was one that had been on her mind for some time. The nervous doe eventually gains the courage to look up to her sister and open her mouth.

"Urmine? I've been thinking about something."

The bear recovers enough from her food coma to lean up in her chair.

"Oh no, don't you know mother told us to never do that? Thinking hurts the cranium and deadens the spirits. It's a devious thing, thinking."

"I-I'm serious Urmine." The doe stammers, courage wavering.

"And what were you thinking about, deer sister?"

"About mother, and, well, us."

Urmine's eyes suddenly brighten.

"Oh! You mean to talk about the day I saved your life!"

"Well no I-"

The bear cuts her off, exceptionally eager to recount one of her favorite stories.

"I remember it clear as day! I had just broken through the egg that had imprisoned my still developing body, laid by our mother some months before. Back then my horns weren't nearly as well grown, more like bony nubs than the proud set you see upon me today. But I broke through its hard shell with a few stout headbutts and daylight shone upon my face for the first time! But as I sat there, a tiny cub covered in mucus and egg fragments, I saw that I was not alone. No, I had a sister egg in the nest with me. I saw it rock to and fro, my sibling trying to break through her own shellish prison as I had. But as I sat there I came to realize that you weren't coming out. You were too weak to break through. So do you know what I did?"

The doe chuckles shyly before responding.

"You cracked it for me."

"Yes!" Her sister bellows. "Some kind of completely irrational instinct came over me and I suddenly wanted to see my unborn sibling with my own eyes, not allow her to suffocate in her own shell. So I backed up in the nest, pointed my antler nubs towards you, and rammed forward with all the might a little cub could! Your shell cracked and I saw your odd visage staring back at me all doe eyed. And then mother came by shortly after and that was that."

"Yes Urmine, you've told me that story a thousand times already."

"Is that not what you wanted to talk about? To thank me for saving you again?"

"I think I've given you enough of my thanks at this point." The doe quietly replies, glancing at the table before looking up to her sister again. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Well then what do you want to talk about?!" The bear shouts, annoyed.

The doe sighs, then finally regains enough courage to ask her.

"So, our mother, she laid the two of us. And I think she was quite happy raising her two little hatchlings, teaching us the ins and outs of potion making, how to cast helpful spells and insidious hexes, warning us what parts of a green wart frog aren't safe to eat and things like that. So I was thinking..."

She trails off and the bear leans forward with a curious stare.

"Thinking what?"

"Well, would mother have been disappointed if we didn't lay eggs of our own?"

Urmine slowly leans back in her chair as an uneasy silence fills the space between them. Gothetta look on in anticipation as her sister digests the question, her face blank and eyes emotionless. The doe begins to worry she had said something stupid, that Urmine would burst out in laughter and give her another verbal roasting. But to her relief the horned bear opens her mouth and it's words, rather than raucous laughter, that comes out.

"Sister, even if she were disappointed that we failed to be as fruitful as her how would we rectify this problem? Huh? Do you have some slimy slippery boyfriend hiding under our floorboards?"

"N-no...do you?"

The bear crosses her arms, pausing before curtly answering.

"No. And why the hell are you even bringing this up Gothetta? Are your innards flowing with carnal juices again? Is it really that time of the year? Shall I prepare an ice bath for you?"

Gothetta shakes her head.

"It's not that. I was just thinking about what our dear mother used to tell us sometimes. That saying about how a caged bird never truly sings a happy tune?"

"I'm pretty sure she just told us that because she got tired of being in the cabin all day making sure we didn't accidentally let loose a colony of blood beetles or burn down the house with a misspoken spell. Hence all the little field trips she let us on."

The doe sighs dreamily, a rush of pleasant memories flooding her brain.

"Ahh, collecting black fungus in the mud swamps for potions, catching magmapedes in the summer to extract their fiery essence, watching mother fly up to the top of a red melon tree and drop down the big fleshy things for us to catch. I miss those days."

Urmine smirks.

"I seem to recall you catching a melon or two with your head."

"I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to do those same things not as the student, but as the teacher. To nurture a doeling as she learns the way of a witch, encountering the same trials and tribulations as I did."

"In order to do that you need a carnal companion of masculine persuasion Gothetta, and if you wanted to acquire a mate where would you even go? The town thinks us freaks and troublemakers, the woods are full of dumb beasts, and the occasional lone woodsmen is rarely unarmed or dimwitted. We just aren't suited for romance Gothetta, it's best you learn to deal with your eternal loneliness."

"I do not want to be a caged bird!" Gothetta says with a huff, crossing her arms defiantly. "I'm tired of being in this house, I'm tired of the woods surrounding it, I'm tired of the same routine day after day. I need something new Urmine."

Urmine purses her lips, voicing what her sister failed to say.

"And you're tired of being around me too?"

"...I could do with a little company that wasn't so...bear like and named Urmine."

"Uh huh. Well you still haven't said how you intend to acquire such company." Urmine wags her finger in the air. "And don't even think of suggesting we kidnap a man from the town. They barely forgave us after the chicken fiasco and we're on thin ice as is. Any more shenanigans and we'll have an angry mob bearing pitchforks and torches gathering outside the cabin."

The doe shrugs.

"Maybe we could try to snatch one of those woodsmen you mentioned? With a sleeping potion?"

Urmine shakes her head.

"No-no-no! The last time I stumbled upon one while gathering capped mushrooms by the meadow he roared and ran at me with his axe! Then he chopped my right hand clean off before I managed to remember the spell for bolt of immolation. After I cast it he ran off with his shirt on fire and we had to use quite a few rare ingredients to make a healing potion strong enough for my hand to regrow. We will not be fooling around with any woodsmen Gothetta."

The doe looks down and racks her brain for any possible way to acquire a male more agreeable than a woodsman and that carried fewer consequences than a townsman. Coming up with nothing her ears lay flat and she drops her head onto the table in defeat.

"Gah! Maybe you're right Urmine, maybe we really are bound to die alone and eggless."

A depressed silence fills the room for a few moments before Urmine lets out a curious sigh and puts a claw up to her chin, a most devious plan forming between her antlers.

"I can think of one way for us to acquire a male." She says with a cackle. "And it doesn't involve an angry mob or any more chopped off body parts. Maybe. Possibly. Perhaps."

"And what would that be?" Mumbles Gothetta, her voice deflated and eyes staring blankly at a wall.

"We could pull into being a creature using our book of summons. One that has intelligence, one that is agreeable, and one that is...physically compatible." Urmine reveals with a wide toothy smile.

Gothetta's head shoots up from the table, her eyes wild and voice frantic.

"Book of summons? Book of summons?! Mother told us never to open that book lest our teeth fall out and eyes turn to jelly! A fate most cursed befalls any mortal that dare attempt to use the magical incantations that lay within! She was very clear about this! Stare upon the pages and suffer for untold ages!"

Urmine waves her paw dismissively.

"Oh please, spare me the warnings you frightened little fawn! Mother told us that back when we were still juvenile witches, barely able to ride a broom much less use magic safely. We've both gained so much knowledge since then! The summoning will be perfectly safe under my careful supervision and your total obedience to my commands."

The doe covers her eyes and shakes her head in denial of what she just heard.

"We mustn't go against mother's orders! She was careful and smart and wise beyond her years! Open the book and it shall manifest our deepest fears!" She cries out.

Urmine breaks into laughter and rises from her chair, walking over to one of their many bookcases before pulling free one of the larger tomes. It's dark purple cover shines with a pearlescent pattern as if it was ripped from the skin of a hardy fire breathing reptile. On the front cover it bears the words 'The Book of Summons: Mystical Creatures and how to Manifest Them' in a golden wavy font. A strip of aged leather wraps around it keeping it closed.

Urmine brings the book to the dining room table and drops it on front of Gothetta, the poor frightened doe still covering up her eyes and shaking with a nervous energy.

"We mustn't do this-we mustn't do this-we mustn't do this." She repeats in a frantic whisper.

Urmine gently grabs her wrists and lowers the doe's hands. The second Gothetta sees the cursed book in front of her she shrieks and almost falls out of her chair. Urmine is quick to stop her fall and keep her planted with two firm paws on her shoulders.

"Gothetta! There is nothing to worry about, we'll do this together." She calmly reassures her.

"A-are you sure? Mother was very adamant that we are not to open this book much less try out any of the spells contained within."

"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, wasn't it your idea to acquire a male? Show a little initiative and untie the knot keeping it closed." Urmine replies, patting her on the shoulder.

The doe squints and cautiously reaches out with both hands, slowly freeing both ends of the leather strip that kept it closed shut. When done she quickly returns her hands to her sides and awaits new orders from Urmine.

"Now open the cover to the first page..."

"Ohhhh must I?" She whines.

"Yes. This whole endeavor was your idea so it's only fair that if some foul hex should befall that who dares to open the text it should be you who receives it."

"I guess..."

The doe hesitantly reaches a hand out, places a single finger under the lip of the cover, and throws it open with one sudden motion! Gothetta suddenly shrieks once more and reaches up to her sister, hugging her neck as if her life depended on it. Urmine looks down at the book as her sister whimpers below her.

"Gothetta. Gothetta look."

"I don't want to."

"Cowardly doe..."

The bear undoes the arms gripping her furry neck and places a paw on her sister's head, twisting it to force her to look at the book.

"It's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-" The doe repeats in shock.

Urmine smiles.

"It's a table of contents listing all of the beasts we can summon." She rubs her hands together and licks her lips. "Well dear sister let's get to work picking out our future husband-slave."

The doe cocks her head, confused.

"Husband-slave? Surely you mean life-mate? Or love-companion?"

"Potato potato, tomato tomato, don't fret over the terminology." The bear leans forward and scans the text. "Now who shall we study first? A noble centaur? A deep water ewe? A weregoat?"

Gothetta cackles and looks at the book with an excited expression, her previous fear of it totally dissipated.

"Sticks and stones and needy moans! Two sisters, once condoned, shall now never be alone! Ha ha ha!"