FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Shion's dreams were filled with Klayton, memories and emotions tying together in sequences both incomprehensible and yet believable. One moment they were together walking at a park and watching TV the next. All the while, Klayton had his goofy grin plastered on his face letting the wild and noncontinuous sequence of events come and go. It ended abruptly, Shion brought back to consciousness. Shion cracked his eyes open, the tears from last night leaving residue on his face and eyelids. Last night, Shion remembered, it certainly didn't go to plan. Shion sighed as he thought about Klayton, the absolutely adorable idiot that he can be. Klayton was willing to put Shion's needs above his own and Shion couldn't help but sigh as he thought about last night.

He stretched out feeling for his lover on the bed next to him. Shion was startled to find that he was alone in the bad. Sitting up and looking about the room, he saw that he was alone. Shion looked over at the clock on the dresser and saw that it was past the time when Klayton leaves for work. Shion sighed again only this one was filled with sadness and regret. He usually wakes me up as he leaves, he thought, maybe he's upset about last night. Shion reached over to grab his cell phone to call him only to find something odd. Klayton's phone was sitting right next to it. Shion cocked his head and stared at it. It isn't like him to leave his phone. Clattering and noise came from the hall as he turned towards it. His heart skipped a beat, maybe he is still here. He rushed to get out of bed and pulled on a pair of pjs.

As he walked down the hall towards the kitchen he heard Klayton's soft humming. The big lizard loved music and would plug his head phones in and tune the rest of the world out. Turning the corner, Shion saw his bigger roommate standing at the stove with his back turned fiddling with something in a pan. A brief look around the kitchen clued Shion in that he was making blueberry pancakes, Shion's absolute favorite. Shion laughed and shook his head a little at the big sweety. He leaned on the counter bar and watched his partner cook. Klayton was wearing just a set of boxers, saying his hips to the rhythm pulsing with the music in his ears. Shion sat there appreciating the person he loved most dearly. Klayton's scales were dark brown oak, accompanied with the tree like stripes and layers down his back. His tail swayed back and forth, the tip twisting and accenting the beat. The big guy was built, his thighs were like tree trunks, his shoulders broader than Shion's by a good half a foot. The muscles down his arms and legs pulsed and flexed as he moved. Shion was always envious of his figure, Klay's damn genetics gave him a body like that with such little effort. Just not fair.

Klayton had finished cooking the pancake in his pan and leaned down to slide it into the oven to keep warm. When he did, Shion watched his butt flex through his boxers. It was just the most perfect sight. Shion laughed at his own voyeurism, imagining that there is no better sight to wake up too. Klay was sexy, Klay was his lover, and Klay loved him. The combination of truths putting a slight smile on Shion's face. Klay closed the oven and turned to find the next thing the cook and jumped a bit when he saw Shion there staring at him. His surprise turned to a loving smile as the two lovers beheld each other a moment. He pulled the headphones down this his neck, ``Well, good morning there, Cherry''

``Good morning, Klay.''

``How long have you been standing there''

``Long enough to appreciate your fine ass.'' Klay leaned forward against the counter so the two were face to face.

``Oh yeah?''

``Yeah''

``You know, it's rude to stare''

Please'' Shion responded sarcastically with an accompanying eye rollyou love showing off that body to me.''

``Well, I will admit that you have a fine taste in asses, but why don't you do something productive like make the coffee instead of ogling up my backside.'' Shion snorted and shook his head. Klayton went back to the stove while the red lizard walked around the counter to the pantry. The two went about their tasks in silence enjoying the moment together, the room filling with the aroma of carmalizing sugar and stimulating coffee before long. The pot was sufficiently brewing when Shion decided to turn around and lean against the wall, giving his partner a look over again.

Klayton moved with a fluidity that seemed almost out of place on someone that large. Every action taken with a slight dramatic flair, the way he focused intently on the browning batter in front of him, the spin of spatula in his hand. Shion loved watching him cook. Klayton would never accept it, but Shion would always claim that he was the best cook he knew. Klayton reached over and swiped his finger through the batter and stuck it in his mouth. He pulled it out with a pop, ``Yummy'' he said to no one in particular. Shion walked up beside him and did the same thing. The batter was a little runny and had a couple stains of blue from the berries. He put it in his mouth and swirled it around his tongue. He had to agree, it was tasty. He looked up at Klay who was smiling down at him.

``What?''

``Oh, nothing'' Klay chuckled to himself, as if there was some inside joke that he wasn't letting Shion know about.

``Why are you still here, Klay?''

``What do you mean?''

``I mean why are you not at work and instead are cooking pancakes nearly naked.''

``Simple, I called my boss and told him that I needed to take care of my partner today and would make up my work on Saturday.'' Shion looked down dejectedly, he figured that would be the answer, but it still stung that he forced Klay to choose between him and his job.

``You don't need to do that.'' Shion said.

``You're right, but...'' Klay trailed off and leaned over and stared into Shion's eyes. Shion stared back. Klay raised an eyebrow and sat waiting for an answer.

``But you want to'' Shion answered.

``Ding, ding! That is the correct answer.'' Klay chuckled at his own joke and turned back to his stove top. The current pancake was browning nicely and soon would need to be turned over. Shion sighed at his goofy partner and walked up behind Klay and wrapped his arms around him. He stood there leaning into Klay for a moment, just enjoying the contact. Klay reached down and grabbed one of the hands resting around his chest with his free hand. Shion closed his eyes and rested his head against Klay's back. Klay went back to humming some melody and flipped the pancake.

The coffee maker off to the side beeped signaling that it was finished with its batch. Shion extricated himself from Klay and went over to shut it off. He reached up and opened a cabinet looking for the mugs. He groaned when he saw that they were on the top shelf where he couldn't reach. He heard a subdued chuckled from behind him and knew that Klay was laughing at his struggle.

``You know, if you were as short as me, you wouldn't be laughing.'' Shion teased back.

If I was a short as you, we wouldn't put things on the top shelf.'' Klay returned. Shion scoffed. It was Klayton's turn to come up behind Shion and hug him. Shion looked up at him and into his eyes. They were full of mirth. Shion put on his most helpless facial expression and asked,If only someone was here to help me reach the tall shelves.'' in an almost whiny tone.

``Hey, I'm tall!'' Klayton responded.

``Then would you help a cute lizard like me out?'' Klayton chuckled as he reached up and picked two mugs from the cabinet and handed them down to Shion.

``Thanks, babe!'' Shion smiled.

``No problem'' Klayton stooped down and kissed the top of Shion's head. Klay turned back to his pancake which was done cooking while Shion turned to pull the milk and creamer out of the fridge. On the top shelf he saw bowls of sliced fruit that weren't there last night.

``Fruit too?''

``Yep.''

``You are really going all out this morning.''

``Well, you are worth it.'' Shion smiled at the compliment and proceeded to pull out all the things from the fridge and put them on the table. Meanwhile, Klayton opened the oven and removed the warm pancakes and took them to the table as well. Shion had finished setting out plates and sat down while Klayton turned off the stove. He turned and walked over and sat beside Shion at the table.

Shion poured each of them a mugful of coffee while Klay divvied up the fruit and pancakes. Klayton voraciously dug into his food while Shion took a little more care with his meal. He started with the fruit, the medley of grapes, apples, and oranges blending sweet, tangy, and sour flavors together. Each one adding something to the next. Shion swallowed his mouthful of food and went to take a sip of his coffee, the aroma of bitter cut by the subtle smell of the creamer he put in it. He sighed after taking a sip. He look over at Klayton who unceremoniously stabbed at four pieces of fruit with his fork and shoved them into his mouth. Klayton always ate so quickly that Shion wondered if he even tasted the food. Klayton noticed Shion looking at him and smiled, his cheeks slightly expanded. Shion chuckled at the brown lizard. He picked up his knife and went to cut into his pancake when he hesitated. Klayton had called out of work, cooked him breakfast, and spent the better part of their time together last night dealing with Shion's feelings of in inadequacy.

Klayton was always willing to go the extra mile for Shion, try new things, constantly improve himself, always looking to help. Shion thought about it for a moment before a question popped into his head. What have I done for him lately? A sudden sense of dread filled him, his stomach clenched, and his chest felt tight. He threw down his silverware and pushed the plate away and put his face in his hands.

``Is something wrong?'' Klayton spoke through a mouthful of food. Even now, he his caring nature shining through.

``You are too goddamn perfect.'' Shion mumbled through his hands. Klay was silent for a moment.

``And that is a problem..?'' He asked unconfidently.

Shion sighed, put his hands down, and looked over at his partner, ``It is when I look all the shit you do for me and ask what I have done for you recently, yeah. It kinda becomes a problem.''

Klayton looked off in thought for a moment. Shion facepalmed the moment the words left his mouth. The two of them were having a nice time and Shion had to go and ruin it.

Look, I'm sorry. Let's just enjoy breakfast.'' He pulled his plate back toward him cut a piece of the pancake off and put it in his mouth. The sweet touch of blueberries melded with the fluffy texture of the cakes. They were delicious, just like everything Klayton cooked. Everything Klayton cooked for him. The food almost caught in his throat as he swallowed it. He sighed and looked back at Klayton who was leaning back in his chair arms folded across his chest. His eyes wandering in thought. Shion looked down dejectedly, what a great way to ruin a good moment he thought to himself. Klayton looked over at Shion and started moving his chair closer. Once he got close enough he put out his arms and said,Come here'' as tenderly as he could.

``No, I just want to eat your delicious food.'' Shion stubbornly refused.

Come here'',no'', Come Here'',No'' All the while Klayton reached around Shion, pulling him up into his arms despite the smaller ones struggles.

Shion gave up and let Klayton pull him up on to his lap. Klayton hugged him from behind while Shion did everything he could to continue feeling miserable despite how nice the embrace felt.

``See, even now you are dealing with my problems. C'est putain de ridicule!'' Shion muttered.

``Uh-huh'' Klay answered into his ear. Shion let out an exasperated sigh, letting his shoulders relax as Klayton held him tight. They sat in silence for a moment and he felt Klay's hot breath on his shoulder.

``Do you know what I thought yesterday when I got your first text?'' Klay asked, each word soft.

``No''

``I thought about how lucky I am.''

``What do you mean?''

`I mean, I work with a ton of individuals who need me to do things. Calculate, sketch, relay messages, take notes. Everyday, my boss comes into my office and saysI need you to do this'. And everyday, I do my work and come home exhausted. I love my work but my entire job is to do things for others. Yesterday was no different. It is absolutely exhausting. I was exhausted yesterday. I wanted to come home and not deal with anyone else's problems for a while. But instead, I got a text from you.''

``Another person needing something from you.'' Shion said curtly.

``Yes, but it was different.'' Klayton said sweetly.

``How?''

``How are you different from all of my coworkers? I can think of several ways, but the only one that matters in this moment is that of all the people who could ask me for help there are a few who I would willing help at that time. Fewer that I would feel obligated to help. And fewer still that I would love to help. And lastly, just one that I would never say no too.''

Shion let out a large sigh. This damn lizard was just too much sometimes. Klayton continued.

I've always been a nice guy, but there is a limit to my generosity. Sometimes, I just want to get away from everyone and exist with myself for a moment or two. And when I do, I think about you, about us.'' Klayton nuzzled Shion.You are my escape from other people, you are the one that relaxes me, and you are the best part of my life. I learned long ago that for relationships to last, you need to put effort into them. Every time, you ask me to help you I don't see an obligation, I see a commitment. A choice to do my best for you whenever you require it. But it seems that in my efforts, I became a little selfish.'' Shion was sitting there silently listening to Klayton's explanation, trying to keep his nausea down.

``How are you being selfish?'' Shion asked. It was Klayton's turn to sigh, Shion was hit with a wave of his fruity breath.

``Because I forgot an extremely important, fundamental part of any relationship. There are always two people involved. And I have commandeered it for my own personal satisfaction. And for that I need to apologize. I'm sorry.''

Shion turned and looked at Klayton whose eyes were filled with sadness. ``What are you talking about, Klayton? You never ask for anything.''

``And that is exactly my point, our relationship is lopsided. And it isn't because one of us isn't putting in effort to help the other, but because one of us isn't letting the other put in effort. I feel at my best when I am helping you, even at the determent of myself. Like last night. I completely took over the entire situation to fulfill my own needs of being a provider that I completely cut your efforts out of the picture. And I didn't realize that till right now when I was trying to come up with a list of things you have done for me that weren't just emotional fulfillment.''

Shion sat there trying to process what his partner was saying. The situation seemed so backwards, why was Klayton apologizing when Shion thought he was the reason for the predicament. He turned around so he was facing Klayton more head on.

Hold up here.'' He said incredulously,Are you apologizing for being too nice?''

No, Cherry.'' Klay said sweetly,I'm apologizing for not giving you any opportunity to help me. I'm apologizing because you feel inconsequential in our relationship because I'm greedy. I only thought about my own emotional fulfillment that I didn't even consider yours. I'm sorry.'' Klayton looked down dejectedly. He only loosely held on to Shion as he stared off towards the carpet. Shion didn't know what to think. Of all the ways Shion would characterize Klay, selfish and greedy were no where near the top. The more Shion thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. The entire situation was just so incomprehensible. Shion started giggling at the absurdity that was happening. It built into a full-on rumpus. Shion calmed down and looked at Klayton who was absolutely beside himself. He refused to meet Shion's eyes. Shion let a few little chortles out and smiled at his lover.

``Only you would try and turn my frustration into an apology.'' He said. Klayton looked up startled and hurt.

Shio- the red lizard put a finger up to Klay's mouth to shush him.

``I listened to you and now it's your turn to listen to me.'' Klay nodded silently.

``You are the most attentive, sensitive, caring person ever. You always put other's needs before yours, almost to a fault. You love being helpful. You try with every waking moment to better yourself. That has to be one thing that I love most about you. You are perfect, you aren't the one that needs to change. I was frustrated earlier thinking that I alone was the problem. But you, like you always do, came and showed me that I wasn't alone. Last night, I wanted you, you wanted me, and I can see that we just went about it in two different ways. We love each other, but we aren't quite on the same page yet about what that means, would you agree?''

Klayton was unresponsive for a moment, before he nodded his head. Shion got up and turned himself around so he was facing his friend, his lover, his Klayton. Klay was looking away sheepishly. Shion cupped his face in his hands and pulled him into a stare. They sat there lost in each other's eyes for a moment before Shion continued.

``I love you Klayton, but you have to understand something about me. I don't want to be the damsel in distress for you. I don't want to be a problem that you are always trying to fix.''

Klayton tried to pull away, but Shion held him still. Klayton's eyes look down guiltily.

Klay...'' Shion said tenderly, the big brown lizard didn't respond. Shion leaned forward so that their foreheads lightly touched.Klay...'' His green eyes turned back to Shion, glistening with moisture.

``I want a partner, I want an equal who is willing to lean on me as much I lean on them. I want someone who will listen to my frustrations and not blame themselves for everything wrong. I want someone who will care for me and let me care for them. I want someone who will support me and watch me grow as a person.'' Shion blinked, fighting back the tears that were threatening to drop.

``Klayton, I want you'' Klayton broke first, tears fell from his eyes silently. He didn't sob like Shion did last night. He wasn't used to being talked to like this, instead preferring to be on the giving side of heart to heart talks. Shion sighed at his lover, the lizard with a heart of gold.

Shhh...'' Shion pulled Klay close and started petting his head. Listening to his halting breathes, feeling the tears on his chest.You big softy'' Klayton laughed through the tears at that. Klayton's arms snaked up Shion's sides. The pair sat there in silence for a minute or two, just affirming the others presence. Klayton drew in a breath and instead of talking he just shook his head. ``What?'' Shion asked pulling back to look Klay up and down.

Klay smiled but his eyes were still sad. I was going to apologize for being an emotional mess, then I realized..'' he paused for a moment and snorted,I realized that that was the exact behavior that you were calling me out on.'' Shion patted Klay's back.

``Well, it's not like I am the poster child for emotional stability as you well know.'' Shion and Klay laughed at each other.

``Yeah, you know I was fully expecting to get laid last night and instead I was left with blue balls and cuddles.''

Shion batted Klay upside his head, ``Hey now, I was thinking the exact same thing until Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome had to go and ruin a good moment.''

``Ruin? I was trying to think of you.''

``Yeah well, that makes it all your fault you blue balled yourself'' Shion said with a sarcastic head turn. In response, Klayton reached under Shion and hoisted him up. Shion looked into Klayton's eyes and recognized the look. Shion had poked the bear, the big, sexy, pent-up, and wonderful bear. Klayton raised an eyebrow and gave Shion his best smolder.

``Well, maybe we should pick up where we left off then. That way we both can get what we want.''

Oh yeah?'' Shion asked wrapping his arms and legs around the bigger lover as Klay stood up. Klay wrapped his arms around Shion.And what is it you want, Klayton?'' Shion said in a sultry seductive tone. Klayton looked off to the side for a moment.

``You.'' He answered.

``Good answer'' Shion responded before pulling Klayton's head close and giving him a deep, passionate kiss. Klayton returned Shion's kiss with one of equal fever. Klayton carried Shion over to the far end of the table away from their long forgotten breakfast dishes. Klay laid his Cherry down on top of the table without breaking their fervent snogging. Shion felt his heart beat increase as Klay's hands started exploring his body with his large hands. Up his arms, down his chest, the friction setting Shion off. Shion's focus was on Klay's tongue, the rough appendage attacking every surface inside of Shion's mouth. Shion took a mental count of when the last time before last night they were intimate with each other. Too long, Shion concluded.

They both were starved for this kind of attention from the other and it showed in their ferocity. Shion gripped onto Klay's back and held on as the bigger of the two grasped under Shion and pulled him so that his lower half was just off the edge of the table. Shion pushed Klay off of him so he could breathe again. ``Putain.'' Shion said breathlessly. Klay was grinning like a goofball.

``I love you too'' Shion smiled. Without breaking eye contact, Klay started grinding his hips against Shion the effect of which was that Shion could feel his member through his boxers. Shion closed his eyes and let the sensations and feelings come his own arousal slowly forming. Klayton reached down and cupped around Shion's thigh. The big paw squeezing and kneading.

``God, Shion. You are so fucking sexy.'' Klay whispered.

``I know'' Shion responded, his more mischievous nature coming through.

``So I'm going to make you feel amazing''

``Yeah?''

Oh yeah.'' Klay leaned down on top of Shion and started kissing his neck. Shion loved the weight of his lover pressing down on him, he loved feeling him everywhere.But, I want you to promise me something.''

``What's that, Klay?'' Shion said airily, not really registering the words.

``That you'll remain open to possibilities.'' Klay accented his sentence with a lick across Shion's neck making Shion shudder.

``Keep doing things like that and I'll let you do anything you want.'' Shion was in another world, high on hormones and love.

``Well then.'' Klay said. He moved his hand toward Shion's crotch, lightly rubbing with his thumb. The new feeling pulled Shion out of his stupor. Fear and anxiety welling up inside.

``Oh.. That's what you mean.''

``Cherry...'' Klay said sweetly.

``I'm just... you know.'' Shion tried to articulate his feelings but the sudden 180 didn't give him much opportunity.

``Look, I understand you're scared. But I love you no matter what, and I want to meet you as an equal in all things, including sex. Isn't that what you want?'' Shion looked off for a moment. It was, it really was what he wanted. But he was fighting years of insecurity and self-doubt in this moment.

Hey, look at me Cherry.'' Shion looked back at Klay.I did try and force it last night, but I understand now that that wasn't what I should have done. I want you to know that it doesn't have to be now, or next time, or even soon. I'll be here when you are ready, whenever that might be.'' Shion sighed and smiled. He glanced up at Klay. His eyes were the same yet somehow different, like ice that had melted and started to sparkle. There was a different feeling in them that Shion hadn't seen last night.

I know that, Klay'' Shion brought his hands up around his lover's neck.But I'm not ready right now'' he said with a slight shake of his head. Klay lightly pecked Shion's forehead.

``I understand.'' The two of them sat there for a moment, drinking in each other's presence. After a moment, Shion started laughing. Klay cocked his head in confusion.

``What is it?'' He asked.

``Ohh, it just that with the way we are going, we may never end up having sex again.'' With that Klay joined in on the laughter.

``Ehh, it's overrated anyway.''

``Absolutely. Completely overvalued.''

``Too hyped''

``Blown out of proportion.'' Shion looked up at Klay as the two calmed down.

``Well, now that the moments gone. What should we do with our day?'' Klayton pondered the question for a moment.

``Well, past breakfast I didn't have anything planned, so I guess our options are pretty open.'' Shion thought for a moment.

``Then let's go catch a ballgame. Spring training just started.'' Klayton looked at Shion suspiciously.

``But you don't like baseball.''

``Ehh, but you do and I can always pretend not to know anything so you can regale me with all your knowledge on arbitrary statistics. Besides it doesn't really matter to me what we do, as long as we're together.'' Shion winked at Klayton as he said that. The big dummy just closed his eyes and shook his head at Shion.

``You are equally wonderful and insufferable and I have no idea how you do it.''

``Some would say that is one of my most desirable qualities.'' Shion snarked. Klay snorted.

It can be.'' Klay stood up and Shion sat on the edge of the table, his legs freely hanging down.But it is just one of many.'' Shion smiled at the compliment. The silence fell between them for a moment.

``Are you okay, I ended up blueballing you again?'' Shion asked his partner. Klayton looked subdued for a moment.

In all my other relationships, sex was never some..'' He searched for the proper wordhurdle for us. Collectively, we had the confidence that let us deal with it as moments came and went. You, clearly, don't have that same self-confidence.'' Shion hung his head. ``And, I thought it was my job to get you to come out of your shell which is why I was so demanding last night and tried to force the issue. But..'' Klayton paused. Shion looked back up at his dark eyes.

That's not the kind of help you need.'' Klayton reached out for Shion's hand which Shion gave voluntarily. Klay's hand easily dwarfing Shion's.and at the moment, I'm not completely sure what help you do need. This entire time I thought that if you just dived in you would learn to swim. Clearly the wrong approach.'' Klay smiled down at Shion and then sighed.

``You asked me if I am okay, to tell you the truth, not really. I love you Shion, truly, but I'm still just me. I have needs. You want an equal, I want to be that. I want a partner and I want it to be you. But like you said, we aren't really on the same page on what the other wants and needs.'' Shion looked away dejectedly, it was the truth and that made it hurt all the more.

``So where does that leave us?'' Shion asked, fearing the answer as he asked the question.

``Stuck. That's where.'' The quiet was heavy between the two of them. Each afraid to look the other in the eye. Shion found it hard to breathe, his chest feeling tight.

``Klayton, I love you.'' Tears forming in his eyes. Klay walked up close to the crying lizard and put his hands on his shoulders.

``I know, Cherry. I know that.''

``I don't want this to end.''

``I don't either.''

``Then what do we do?'' Klayton was quiet for a little. Shion's sobs the only noise in the apartment.

``I think we both need space away from each other for a little while.'' The words registered in Shion's mind, feelings and emotions welling up from his heart. The tears flowing freely now.

Oh, Shion.'' Klay kneeled down in front of his crying companion. Shion tried to wipe away the tears but they just kept coming.Shion, if we stay together, I think we are just going to smother each other. I think we need some room to breathe before we suffocate.''

``But.. I don't want that.'' Shion got out between sobs.

``And God knows I don't either, but we aren't working how we are right now and if we don't take a moment to step back we aren't going to be able to move forward, and then we will really break apart.''

Shion felt awful, like the entire world was imploding. Why was the only question on his mind. Why was Klayton suggesting this? Why did today end up so disastrously? Why did this have to happen? And worst of all, why did he have to be so dumb when it came to sex? Shion blamed himself for everything that was happening. If only he was a better lover, a more confident person, or just willing to change a little for the one that he loved. This was the worst.

He jumped forward and buried himself in Klayton's chest gripping him tightly, refusing to let him go. He felt Klayton slowly wrap his arms around him.

``Shh. It's okay, Shion.''

``No! No, it's not!'' Shion bawled.

``It will be though.''

``How can you possibly say that when you are suggesting we break up?''

I have a few reasons. One, I'm not suggesting we break up, I want both of us to take a moment to figure out what we want and figure out what we are willing to do for the other. And that isn't something that we can do when we keep trying to throw ourselves at each other. Two, if you don't think our love is strong enough to get us through this then you are crazy. I love you Shion in more ways than I could ever say out loud, and I know you think the same.'' His tone was soft and slow, each word deliberate. He sweetly caressed Shion by lightly stroking down his back.And Three, I know you are strong. You are one of the strongest people I know. I have no doubts that you will get through this. It hurt, it already does but when you get through this, you will be stronger than you are now. And it will be the most beautiful thing.'' Klay gave Shion a moment to sniffle, his tears long having run out. Damn you, Klay. Where do you get that confidence, he thought.

``That's so easy for you to say.'' Shion bit back.

``It is easy for me to say.'' Klayton tenderly returned.

``I hate this.''

``I know.''

``What am I even supposed to do without you?''

``Ask yourself if we are truly right for each other.''

``I can answer that right now!'' Shion squeezed Klay harder. Klay petted Shion's head. The moment was nice, but the moment couldn't last forever. Shion just wanted Klay to stay forever, to forget everything he was saying and just past the day away. They didn't have to be apart to get through this. It wasn't fair! It wasn't right! Shion felt Klay's hand slip down his arms and around his back. Shion tried to hold on but couldn't stop Klay from prying his arms off of him. Shion dipped his head down in defeat, he couldn't stop Klay. He couldn't do anything. He had been alone for the longest time before Klay and now he was going to be alone again.

``You won't be alone.'' Klay said as if reading his mind. Shion's eyes shot up into Klay, full of a sad and desperate hope.

``We'll be apart, Shion, but we won't be alone.'' Shion saw the tears in Klay's eyes and finally understood, Klayton was hurting too. He didn't want this either. He wanted to stay, but he was willing to go through pain because he knew Shion could, because he wanted this to work, because he wanted Shion. Being wanted, Shion saw now that being wanted wasn't the problem between them. It was something else, Klay understood that. That's why he would even suggest this. Shion wiped the last of his tears from his face, he could do it. Klayton was sure of it. He looked back at Klayton forlornly.

``I think I already miss you.'' He said. Klay reached up and wiped the last of Shion's tears from his cheek.

``And I miss you too. Come on, it's time to stand up.'' Klayton rose and helped bring Shion to his feet. The two partners stood there just looking at each other one last time.

``Well, I better get dressed and get to work, though.''

``Oh.''

``Will you be okay?'' Shion closed his eyes and thought about it for a moment before answering.

``Okay is relative, but I'll try my best.'' He gave Klay a weak smile.

``I know you will, you always do.'' Shion closed his eyes.

``Can I have one last hug?''

``Of course, Cherry.'' Shion snaked his way up to Klay. The oak giant hummed out a lullaby for Shion they embraced. Another moment that Shion wanted to stretch out for eternity, another parting that Shion didn't want to experience. But as all things must, the moment came to an end. Klay slowly leaned back and let Shion know it was time. Shion gripped his love one last time before letting him go. He looked aside and rubbed his face.

``Well, uh, why don't you go get ready and I'll start cleaning up breakfast.'' Shion offered.

``Alright..'' Klay's voice unusually sad for him. Shion watched the big guy walk down the hall into their room. He stood there waiting until he heard the shower come on. If only I could just walk in there, he thought. If only he could just bare all of him to Klayton. If only he was stronger than he was. If only. That thought cycled through his mind. He shook his head to get a grip on his thoughts. He turned and looked at the table with the long forgotten food on it. He sighed at himself and got moving, keep moving he told himself.

He got all of the food put away and the dishes washed before he heard Klayton come back down the hall. He was tying his tie as he came into Shion's view.

He was wearing a maroon dress shirt and black slacks. The color of his shirt complemented the colors of his scales well. Shion was sitting at the table as he came up to him.

``Here.'' Shion said, handing Klay the lunch he had made for him.

``Thank you.'' They sat there.

``So, now what?'' Shion asked.

``Well, I go to work. You go to work. I come home and pack a bag and sleep somewhere else. You come home, and we see where we are in a week.''

``A whole week?''

``A whole week.'' Shion sighed.

``Can I call you?''

I really want you to try not to.'' Klayton put a hand on Shion's shoulder,but if it ever gets too much, I'd be willing to listen.''

``Well, I'll call you tonight then.'' Shion joked, smiling up at Klay. He chuckled.

``To let you know the truth, I'm predicting I won't last more than three days.'' He said

``Then maybe we should wait out until then.'' Shion offered.

``Okay'' Klay agreed.

``I'm going to miss you.''

``Me too, Cherry.''

``Oh Fuck it!'' Shion exclaimed as he jumped up at Klayton. He caught Shion and held him close. It didn't last long, but it felt good. Shion let go and looked up at Klayton who had one of his characteristic grins on his face.

``Now go before that hug wears off.'' Shion smoothed out Klayton's shirt and tie. Klay turned and walked towards their door. He paused and turned around, and gave Shion a sideways smile.

``I love you'' He said. Shion groaned.

``Just go you big imbecile.''

``Say it back'' Sobered up from the sudden serious tone in his voice. Shion looked into Klay's face and saw the same fears that he himself was trying so hard to hide. Shion gulped.

``I love you, Klayton. More than anything.'' Klay's face relaxed.

``Goodbye Shion''

``Call you in three days'' With a nod, Klayton turned and walked out the door and swung it closed behind him. Shion sat there and sat there and sat there. For how long he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure when the tears came, but they did. Shion pulled his knees up and cradled himself. This is was hell and he was all alone.

Moments passed, hours passed. Time held no consequence to Shion in his misery. Eventually the tears ran out again and all Shion felt was a numbing emptiness. A rapid knock at the door rose him from his stupor. Languidly, he walked over and looked through the peephole to see who it was. Recognizing the figure he opened the door slowly.

The squirrel barged in and attacked Shion with a hug.

Oh My God! Shion are you okay? Klayton called me out of the blue and said that you two were fighting and that you might need someone. So I tell you, I rushed right over, I did. I can see tha-

Parade!'' Shion interjected,I can't breathe'' tapping at her incessantly.

Oh My Goodness! I am so sorry. Nice one, P.'' The squirrel let go and stepped back a bit and bopped her head.But tell me, is it true? Are you two fighting? Did you break up? Please tell me you didn't because I was just telling this couple down at where I get my nails done that you two are the absolute most precious couple and I don't want to be called a liar. You know what, actually, don't answer that yet.'' She reached into her bag and pulled out a carton of ice cream and a spoon.

``Here this is for you, eat this and I guarantee you will feel better. After my break up with Saul last month you know what a wreck I was, I swear this stuff was the only thing that got me through that. It is miraculous. Come, Come.'' Parade shoved the items into Shion's hands and pulled him over to the couch and forced him to sit down. She sat down on the floor in front of him.

``Okay! Tell me everything. I want to hear every soul crushing, depressing, ugly detail and don't spare any tears. I am here to listen to everything. Like I was saying earlier when Saul and I broke up, you and ice cream. That got me through the worst of it. So here I am a soundboard to listen to everything you want to tell me. Wait, first you need a spoonful of ice cream.'' Parade was a force of nature. Shion looked down at the ice cream. Cherry flavored. He weakly smiled before the tears came again. Parade gasped and crawled up next to him on the couch.

``Oh, sweety. That's okay, you just let it out. Let it all out. It'll be okay.'' She pulled Shion close and started petting his head. Her soft coos trickling from her lips.