Chapter 4: One Groom, Two Brides, and Two Brooms
#4 of Summoning a Little Mischief 2: Hooves, Horrors, and Hatchlings
Sorry about the delay in posting. The schedule will continue as normal from this point onward.
CH4: ~6700 words
Henry awakens to a muffled argument coming from beyond the bedroom door. He rolls over onto his back and rubs the sleep out of his eyes, groggily taking in his surroundings. He's lying by himself on the same bed as last night, right next to the pile of eggs and under a soft blanket. He leans up and looks out a nearby window. The golden rays of a mid-morning sun grace the bare trees and scattered clouds dot the horizon. The muffled yelling rises in intensity and Henry throws open the covers, wanting to see what the commotion was about. His feet hit the floor and-
Wait.
He crawls back onto the bed and surveys the eggs. They're still under the felt blankets Gothetta snuggled them into last night and after touching them he detects quite a bit of residual heat still left. He makes sure the felt blankets are tucked tightly around them and throws the larger blanket on top of them as well, just to be safe. He then crawls off the bed and back to the bedroom door.
Opening it, he sees Urmine and Gothetta in front of a slightly cracked full length mirror laid up against a wall. Urmine is seated in front of it with Gothetta standing behind her. Gothetta is clothed in the same ragged pink dress she tried to wear to their first attempt at a wedding, the many loosely stitched laces and decorative ribbons hanging off of it making it seem more fit for a fancy ball than a wedding. Urmine, however, is dressed in her same old stitched together brown and black dress under a taught leather corset. But this time she's seemed to have gained a few new accessories from Gothetta, accessories that she's anything but willing to accept.
"No-no-no, I simply will not. We aren't children anymore Gothetta! My antlers, err, antler, will remain flowerless." She huffs, crossing her arms.
"Oh come ooooon Urmine." The doe whines, a bundle of white flowers in her grip. "Just a few white ones around the base would really make it pop!"
"No. I would look silly. And it's not like my antler needs any decorating in the first place! It's already polished to a mirror sheen and the tips sharpened to fine points, it's already as beautiful as can be! Decorating my sole remaining antler would just draw attention to the fact that I've lost one!"
"Then why not accent its beauty with a few pleasant-smelling flowers? We don't have to go all out, just a few twisted around your bony points would really help bring out your natural beauty. You didn't like the red ones, so tell me what you think about these..."
Gothetta begins twisting delicate stems around her sister's sole remaining antler and Urmine sinks into her chair, eyes glued to the mirror as Gothetta works. Seeing the reflection of Henry staring at her through the bedroom door, Urmine greets him with a wave.
"Good morning, Henry. It's a big day today, we travel to the town for our wedding ceremony at noon."
"Which means we need to look our best. Your first wedding ceremony only happens once! Well, first completely consensual wedding ceremony, anyway." Gothetta adds, still focused on prettying up Urmine's antlers.
"Henry, come over here." The bear orders with a tired sigh. Henry complies, standing next to Gothetta. "What do you think about my sister's handiwork?" Urmine asks, lazily pointing to her flower laden points.
Henry pauses before answering, first surveying Urmine's head from every angle before finally formulating his answer.
"They look nice."
Gothetta stops fiddling with the flowers and leans down with a smug smile.
"Told you." She whispers directly into the bear's ear.
Urmine rolls her eyes and stares into the mirror, silently allowing Gothetta to continue her work. Henry walks over to the kitchen table and finds his pan still sitting on it. Curiously, the two salmon filets that were left on it have now disappeared.
"Hey, what happened to the fish I brought back with me?" He shouts over to the sisters.
They both freeze before slowly turning towards him.
"I dunno." They weakly mumble in unison, shrugging their shoulders guiltily before looking back at the mirror.
He picks up his pan.
"In that case, do you all mind if I make a little breakfast?"
***************************************************************
A plate with one remaining glow cake, a depleted tray of green ham, a skillet of fluffy scrambled eggs, an empty pitcher of red melonade and a nearly empty bottle of golden syrup. The traces of Henry's culinary toil littered the table and filled the stomachs of the soon to be newlyweds. Gothetta daintily wipes her lips with a napkin and sets it on her plate.
"That was most delicious Henry, I can't wait for you to make us breakfast like this every morning from now on."
The forkful of eggs Henry was about to eat stops in front of his lips.
"This was a special occasion. Don't expect me to make you all breakfast everyday just because I'm good at it. If anything we should get used to sharing responsibilities, when the eggs hatch our hands will be full."
Urmine stabs the last glow cake with a fork and plops it on her plate.
"That's nonsense. Henry, as our husband slave it'll be your duty to keep me and Gothetta well fed. We will expect nothing less than absolute culinary perfection from you. A breakfast of hardy meats, sweet sauces, and baked goods in the morning. A light lunch of hand sandwiches and melonade in the afternoon. Then a two-course dinner of salad and bread, then either a savory soup or roasted meat with accompanying sides after night falls. Plus, whatever sweets me and my sister feel like having that day."
Henry rests his cheek against an open palm and stares at Urmine.
"And in return for all of that selfless cookery?"
"Me and Gothetta will, uhhh, we'll..." She looks to the ceiling as she chews her glow cake.
"We'll raise the hatchlings!" Gothetta butts in. "Me and Urmine will concern ourselves with all things motherly, making sure they're raised as prim and proper witches! That way you'll have as much time as possible to ensure we're pampered and catered to."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh." Agrees Urmine, mouth still full of glow cake. "Perhaps we'll send our hatchlings into the town to be educated by the school master there, or simply raise them ourselves here at the cabin as mother did to us. In either case their magical training will have to be done by me and Gothetta, a rigorous and exacting syllable I'll make for them, oh yes. And Henry?"
"What?"
"You will be allotted exactly one, one hour session of recreational intercourse with us per month. As parents it's important we put our base urges behind us in favor of dedicating as much time as possible to raising the hatchlings."
Gothetta looks to Henry and puts a hand over her mouth, shielding her words from Urmine.
"Psst, I'll give you four a month if you keep it secret from my frigid sister over there."
"I heard that! Ruttish doe!"
Urmine gently slaps her on the shoulder causing her to yelp. Henry just shakes his head and sighs.
"I remember how ravenous you two were last time, and I also know that such a strict schedule isn't ever going to last. So why don't we just take things as they come instead of getting the timer out every time we feel like getting down and dirty?"
"Trying to keep track of time in the throes of passion would be...difficult...now that I think of it." Urmine mutters, hand on her chin in thought.
"I agree." Declares Gothetta. "Nothing makes the nethers drier than thinking about rules and regulations. I say that if our desires turn carnal then we should simply wait until nightfall and discreetly deal with them with Henry."
"That's the most reasonable thing I've heard all morning. Basically sounds normal." Henry blurts out.
"Ah-ah-ah, you're forgetting something." Urmine says with a wag of the finger. "And if we both have need of Henry at the same time then as the eldest sister I should have priority."
"No fair! You're only the eldest sister by what? Ten seconds? I say we should operate on a first come, first serve basis. It's the fairest way to solve this. Don't you agree, Henry?"
Henry looks solemnly to his plate and shakes his head. How many more years of the sister's bickering was he going to have to suffer through?
"How about this. If you two can't decide on who gets priority whenever the conflict arises within a reasonable amount of time, then I'll refuse to do it with either of you. The two of you seriously need to learn to work together. With two hatchlings on the way our lives will soon become hell if we don't learn to cooperate and act like reasonable adults."
There's a silent pause as the sisters stare at Henry. Given their blank, unblinking faces he briefly wonders if he somehow said something offensive, then Gothetta turns to Urmine.
"We'll decide priority over a coin flip."
"A coin flip sounds good." She agrees with a nod.
Henry exhales in relief and finally eats his forkful of eggs.
The rest of their breakfast thankfully goes without incident. With Urmine and her head of white flowers and Gothetta in her pink ball gown, the only one left without a suitable getup was the groom. The sisters throw open their closet and rummage around, eventually finding an outfit of suitable formalness for Henry. Composed of a dark brown suit jacket, frilly white undershirt with large orange bow tie, and pants bearing a brown and green plaid design, the tuxedo could best be described as 'impressively ugly'. Henry eyes the tuxedo up and down as Gothetta holds it up in front of him, his expression blank.
"Do you have anything else I could wear?" He asks, concealing his desperation behind a polite tone.
Gothetta shakes her head with a frown.
"I'm afraid not, dearest love companion. We went through this closet from top to bottom and this is the only formal wear suitable for a male we could find. Unless you want get married in one of our old dresses, this is it."
"It's...a little out of date compared to what I'm used to wearing at formal events. A couple hundred years out of date to be more accurate."
"It's really not that bad." Says Urmine, picking a stringy cobweb off its shoulder. "I think it's charming, the colors mesh well and with a few patches to repair bits the moths ate from it it'll do nicely. And like Gothetta said, this is all we could find so you don't have much of a choice."
"If this truly is all you have, then sure. I'll wear it to the wedding. It's certainly more formal than my t-shirt and jeans."
"Perfect!" Gothetta exclaims with an excited giggle. "I'll get some measurements from you and patch it up lickety split. You'll look so nice in it Henry, I'm sure that our wedding will be the talk of the town for ages to come!"
"For the right reasons, I hope." He mumbles back.
Measurements taken, holes patched up, and lengths adjusted, Henry emerges from the sister's bedroom in his antiqued formal wear. The sisters give him a quick once over and nod their heads approvingly in unison.
"Husband to be, you look perfect!" Gothetta beams, clapping her hands together. "You appear as a fit and proper groom, at such a sight I can't help but swoon."
The doe wipes her brow dramatically and pretends to faint, collapsing into a chair.
"Yes, he's satisfactory." Agrees Urmine. "Father Bloom should have no issue granting us our marriage now that we three are properly attired."
Henry looks down at his outfit, the mismash of colors and patterns almost dizzying.
"I look like a clown. A well-dressed clown, but a clown nonetheless."
"Pshh, don't discount me and Gothetta's fashion sense so easily Henry. You look perfectly dignified. The very model of a groom fit for a witchly bride, err, brides." She looks to the limp doe. "Now get up you little fainting fawn, it's nearly noon! We've got to get a move on!"
Gothetta jumps to her hooves and rushes to a shelf, retrieving a healing potion bottle containing a dead frog bathed in red liquid. She holds it to her chest and puts on her best puppy dog eyes.
"Sister, before we left I wanted to ask if I could bring along Edmund. He's helped us so much these past few months, selflessly sacrificing his very own life time and time again as we tried to bring back Henry. It only seems fair to allow him to attend our wedding, the culmination of our work and the purpose of his suffering. We can put him on one of the church pews as one of our honored guests. Pretty pleeease?" She begs, batting her large doeish eyelashes.
"You named the frog Edmund?!" Henry blurts out.
"Yes, Gothetta named him just before we sent you back to Earth."
He stares at the ground in silence, unsure how to really feel about that. Urmine continues.
"Gothetta, Edmund is currently dead. He is not aware of any earthly event and I highly doubt he cares about a ceremony as irrelevant to a frog as a wedding. However..." She trails off and Gothetta bounces on her hooves, eager to hear Urmine's final say. "...we do need a few guests to observe the ceremony, and I suppose a dead frog is better than nothing. So sure, go ahead and take him. He can sit beside our eggs."
"Ha-ha! Yes!" The doe joyously shouts, holding the bottle to her chest and twirling around.
Urmine then walks to the fireplace, taking down their mother's pointed hat and blowing the dust off it. Her eyes take in the many trinkets attached to its deep purple cloth and the velvety smooth feeling of its material. An uncommonly warm smile comes to her face as a feeling of nostalgia washes over her.
"Sister?" She says, glancing towards Gothetta. "Do you think we should take this as well?"
The doe stops her twirling and walks over, peering across Urmine's shoulder.
"Yes, yes I think we should. Mother's hat can accompany Edmund and the eggs. That way we'll have four guests at our wedding, two in spirit, and two in their shells."
"And so we shall." Urmine gingerly places the hat on Gothetta's head. "Keep it safe on the trip to town, it's priceless. Now go ahead and get on your broom, I'll swaddle the eggs up and meet you outside."
"And be careful with the eggs sister, they're twice as priceless." Gothetta remarks, turning to the door.
Gothetta struts to the front door of the cabin and Henry follows behind. Laying near the door are two large brooms, both composed of a dark wooden handle and tipped with a bushy bundle of faded straw. Gothetta tosses Edmund's bottle to Henry.
"Hold this for me, husband to be. I'll need both hands on the stick if we're to make it to town in one piece. Now hop on behind me and hold tight, my broom's always been a little jumpy." She warns, straddling one of the brooms.
"I-If you want me to carry this for you why don't I ride with Urmine? Then there'd be less of a chance of me dropping it. And I've never been a fan of heights either, all that jostling around won't do my stomach any good."
Urmine then emerges from the house, a large leather backpack tightly cinched around her shoulders. Spilling out of the edges of its closed top are the same felt blankets that were on the bed, and if one looks closely two egg shaped bulges could be seen on either side of it. Urmine straddles the other broom.
Gothetta briefly glances towards Urmine, responding in a quieter tone.
"No, we should ride together. I fear for the integrity of her broom if another person were added to it. Urmine alone already nearly overloads the poor thing."
"Hey! I heard that!" Urmine angrily shouts over, shooting the doe a mean look. She then looks downward at herself and her broom. "I'm not that heavy, am I?" She whispers to herself.
Henry takes his position behind Gothetta and they look to the sky, but just as they're about to take off Gothetta cocks her head and looks to the ground in thought.
"Urmine, are we forgetting something?"
"Like what?" The bear responds.
"Oh I don't know..." Gothetta looks behind her. "...something about Henry maybe? Does he look odd to you?"
"He looks fin- Oh wait! How could we have forgotten!" The bear facepalms. "His tail! We forgot his tail! Wait here you two, I'll retrieve it from the cabin."
Urmine gets off her broom and goes back inside.
"Are you seriously going to make me wear that thing again?" He groans. "I'm pretty sure it tried to choke me out last time."
"Yes Henry, unfortunately it is still prudent to keep your status as a foreign mystical beast hidden from the public eye. Remember what happened last time? You scarcely went a day before someone tried to kidnap you and sell you on the dark alleys. It's for your own protection. And, well, the town wouldn't like it if they knew we were summoning mythical creatures so close to their homes so it saves our skin too."
"That does make sense. But I'm taking it off the second we're out of the public eye."
Urmine soon returns with the long rope like tail, tying it around Henry's waist and tucking it under his pants so only one end of it dangled over his rear. Satisfied, she takes a step back and points a claw at it.
"Swish and flick and bestial quintessence, give this fur a touch of lively essence!"
A blue bolt shoots towards the tail and it gradually comes to life. First with a frail flick, then a gentle wag, until eventually standing straight up in the air, pointing itself at the sisters as if in shock to be alive again. Henry, however, was in no mood to be sentimental about their reunion.
"Listen here you insubordinate little piece of fuzz." He growls, grabbing the end of the tail firmly with two iron hands. "You will be attending our wedding ceremony attached to my waist and there will be absolutely no funny business like last time. There will be no smacking me in the face, no running yourself down my pants, and absolutely no attempted strangulations. If you try anything, anything at all, I'll have one of my brides turn you back into a lifeless fuzzy rope and you'll get to spend the rest of time as a funny looking pipe cleaner. Got it?"
The tail gives a rapid affirmative nod. Henry continues.
"Good, now just act natural. Like a perfectly normal, well-behaved tail."
He releases his steely grip and the tail immediately falls downward, giving itself a slight curl so it didn't touch the ground.
"Alright, are we all finally ready to go?" Urmine shouts impatiently.
Gothetta begins counting on her fingers.
"Two eggs? Check. One Edmund? Check. Mother's hat? Check. Henry's tail? Check. One groom, two brides, and two brooms? Check, check, and check." She looks over to Urmine. "Ready as ever sister! Let us fly across the big blue skies, and return as lawfully wedded wives!"
Gothetta begins to cackle and the broom slowly lifts into the air. Henry inches forward and wraps an arm around Gothetta's midsection, struggling to remain steady as the broom lazily floats upward. Around ten feet up Gothetta tilts her broom slightly downward and they suddenly shoot forward, rapidly gaining speed and clearing the trees with only inches to spare. Henry yelps and tightens his grip around Gothetta, looking down at the rapidly shrinking ground with wide eyes.
"Did you really have to make it so close?" He shouts forward, the wind lapping at his face.
Gothetta responds with another wild cackle.
"Calm down dear Henry, calm down! This broom may be jumpy, but she's never let me crash!"
As if on cue the broom jerks to the left then to the right, the doe struggling to maintain a steady course.
"Really? Not trying to be a backseat flyer or anything, it just doesn't seem all that stable."
"It's perfectly safe!" She affirms. "You couldn't crash this puppy if you tried! Both our brooms are enchanted so they don't run into walls, crash into the ground, or spontaneously combust! Death by flying broom used to be a real big killer back in the day, but these days flying brooms are safe as can be! I can even do stuff like this!"
Gothetta noses down into a tight downward corkscrew, rapidly hurtling towards the ground in dizzying circles. As the ground becomes worryingly close Henry pulls himself even tighter against her, the world outside becoming an indecipherable mix of dark brown ground and clear blue sky. Just before it seems they were about to crash Gothetta pulls up and out of the corkscrew, once again gaining altitude as they shoot into the sky.
Henry breathes a sigh of relief as his stomach begins to settle.
"Gothetta, never do anything like that again."
"Oh alright." She giggles. "But I assure you it's perfectly safe! Just a little-unf-just a little jumpy." She says, struggling to keep the broom on course as it begins to jerk around again.
Trying to take his mind off Gothetta's theatrics, Henry looks around as they soar through the air. Trailing behind them is Urmine, a stoic look on her face as she steadily cuts through the air. Below them is a sea of trees with bare branches, the ground littered with fallen orange and red leaves. Cutting through the trees are a few winding dirt roads, the only sign of civilization among the otherwise pristine display of nature below them. Seeing something ahead, he squints his eyes to be met with the scattered buildings of the town. Dark smoke rises from a few brick chimneys and a white chapel steeple stands tall in the center.
As they approach Gothetta slows down and lands right near the front door of the chapel. A few nearby townspeople hurry away at the sight of the landing witches and soon the entire street is barren. Urmine lands beside them and dismounts.
"Take these inside and put them in the first row." She orders Henry, handing him the backpack. She then looks to Gothetta. "I need to run a couple errands before joining you and Henry in the chapel. Get everything ready, I'll be back soon."
"You got it! Oh, and remember to apologize to the baker's wife!" Gothetta reminds her.
"Thanks for the reminder. We might have issues if I forgot..." She trails off, turning around and heading down the street.
Henry and the doe dismount their broom and begin walking towards the chapel entrance. But it's only a few feet until he feels something yank him backwards. Turning around, his tail seems to have coiled itself around the broom.
"You can let go now, we're on solid ground. I didn't like the aerial acrobatics any more than you did."
The tail slowly uncoils itself and Henry joins Gothetta, opening the large oaken doors to the chapel and stepping inside. Father Bloom stands behind a wooden podium near the back of the chapel, the gray-haired tabby cat intently focused on writing his next sermon as his pen flicks back and forth on an unseen paper. Hearing the doors open, he adjusts his glasses and drops his pen, entirely unprepared for another visit from one of the witchly sisters.
"Oh, uhh, h-hello there Gothetta." He sputters, picking up a holy book from within the podium and holding it to his chest. "What brings you and your, umm, acquaintance to the chapel this fine day?"
"We're going to get married today Father Bloom!" She joyously announces, twirling around as she walks up to the podium, her pink ball gown swishing around her hooves. "Urmine and I will become the lawfully wedded wives to Henry here today, and we want none other than yourself to perform the ceremony."
"A wedding?!" He replies incredulously. "Gothetta, weddings require preparation, you needed to give me some warning of the ceremony! I don't have the proper decorations set up or the tables for a banquet put out or flowers picked or-or-or anything prepared at all! Heavens be, a proper wedding just can't be done on such short notice!"
"Don't worry about any of that Father, we already have everything we need for the ceremony." She says, taking off her mother's hat and setting it down on a pew in the first row. "We all have our rings, our guests are already here, you already know the lines to say, and when Urmine joins us you just need to give us our vows and we'll be on our way!"
"Guests?"
"Yes, four guests will be attending. Henry, hand me the backpack."
Henry complies and the doe gingerly removes the two eggs from its soft interior, making a small blanket pile on the pew then nestling them onto it. Bloom quietly walks up behind Henry and whispers.
"Where did those eggs come from, if you don't mind me asking."
"Urmine and Gothetta laid them."
Bloom's brow furrows in confusion.
"But bears and deer can't..."
"Their mother was a crow."
"Oh, right, sometimes it can be easy to forget the biological oddities inherent to chimeric beings. In all my life I've only ever seen two, and both witchly ones at that. And these eggs, I assume you are the one who fathered them?"
"Yes."
"Ah, it's all beginning to make sense now. This is a wedding born of familial necessity. That explains the lack of forewarning."
"In a way, I suppose. Will that be a problem?"
He shakes his head.
"No, no, no. I do perform these things from time to time. Though usually it's with the groom being held at musketpoint and the bride bearing a poorly hidden belly."
"Our worlds aren't that dissimilar after all then."
"What?"
"Oh! Uhh, nothing." Henry puts his hand out for a handshake. "I'm Henry. I believe we met once before a few months ago."
Bloom firmly returns his handshake.
"Yes, I seem to recall you were in a steel cage and being held captive by the sisters. And I could have sworn they called you Edmund back then."
"No, you're mistaken, this is Edmund."
Henry holds up the jar with the frog's limp body and it's swiftly taken out of his hand by Gothetta, she sets it down by the hat and gets to work ensuring their 'guests' were all properly seated.
"Well then Henry, I suppose quite a lot must have transpired in those intervening few months. You are here of your own volition, yes? No magic tricks going on? No potions of mind control imbibed? No blackmail or threats of an untimely end should you refuse the ceremony?"
"No, certainly not. My relationship with the sisters has improved greatly since they let me out of that cage."
"Uh-huh. And I suppose they cured you of those Venusian brain worms as well?"
Henry tries to suppress a chuckle.
"Yes, they cured me quite decisively. My brain is now clean as a whistle and smooth as a baby's bottom."
"Good to hear of your improved health. And do forgive me for forgetting, but what species were you again? I don't see many of your kind around."
"He's a rare long tailed hairless Tasgolian monkey!" Answers Gothetta. "See his long spotted tail? It's one of his species most defining traits."
Henry and Bloom look at the tail. It gently wags in the air convincingly. Bloom pats Henry on the back.
"Well Henry, I hope this will be a day to remember."
"As do I, Father."
Father Bloom walks forward and stands in front of the first pew where all four guests resided. He clears his throat, scanning the odd assortment of items.
"Gothetta, I understand magically inclined beings such as yourself often have a different way of looking at the world than men of the cloth do, but are these truly the witnesses you have selected for your wedding?" He starts pointing to them. "Two eggs, a witch's hat, and a bottle with a dead frog?"
"Yep!" She cheerily replies. "And I wouldn't want anyone else!"
Bloom smiles politely and nods.
"Okay. But do you have any, you know, guests that can walk on two legs that could attend?"
Gothetta rubs her chin and looks to the ceiling.
"Hmm, well mother was struck down by the gods with a bolt of lightning many years ago. Hence the hat."
"Your father?"
"Currently residing on another plane of existence."
"Aunts? Uncles?"
"None that I know of."
"Siblings beside Urmine?"
"She was my only nest mate."
"And speaking of your sister, where is she?"
"She's-oh! Speak of the devil!"
The doors to the chapel are thrown open and in struts the horned bear carrying a large cake box and a bag full of jingling glassy bottles. She sets them down near the door and moves to join the others.
"Sister, are we ready to be wedded?" Urmine bellows.
"The guests are seated, the priest is lucid, the groom is consenting, and the gods have yet to strike us down!"
"Perfect." She smiles, turning to Father Bloom. "Now, I believe there are some vows we are supposed to take, yes?"
"Yes, but not to be nosy, what happened to your antler?"
The bear scowls and looks to Gothetta.
"Told you decorating it would draw attention to the fact that I only have one." She whispers, jabbing Gothetta in the ribs with an elbow. She clears her throat then turns back to Father Bloom. "I lost it in an unfortunate hunting accident. Some hunter mistook me for a buck roaming the forest and a musket ball took it clean off."
"I'm sorry to hear that. The white flowers are a nice touch, however."
"Told you they looked nice." Gothetta whispers back, retaliating with an equally sharp jab into the bear's ribs. The bear grits her teeth, then continues.
"Thank you, Father. Now let's get these vows over with so we can be out of your hair."
"Yes, about that. Before we start, I should mention that the church doesn't officially condone marrying multiple brides to the same groom." He purses his lips and adjusts his glasses. "However, given the special circumstances surrounding this ceremony I believe it would be in the service of the greater good to forever bind you three together in holy matrimony. I would hate to see the brides have to drag another caged hapless soul in front of the chapel in attempt to marry them, especially given that the current groom is both willing and able." He looks to Henry and his gaze narrows. "Right?"
Henry gives a quick affirmative nod in response. Father Bloom continues.
"Good. Given the lack of any family in attendance and the fact that you've already got your rings on this should greatly simplify the process. Now let's begin." He moves in front of the podium and points to the space in front and to his right. "The brides need to stand here." Then he points to the space in front and to his left. "And the groom needs to stand here." The three of them take their places and Father Bloom clears his throat, taking his holy book out and rapidly turning to the needed page. "The ceremony of marriage in which you come to be united is one of the first and oldest ceremonies in the land, celebrated in the beginning in the presence of the benevolent Gods above. Marriage is a gift in that we give ourselves totally to one another. Marriage is the clasping of hands, the blending of hearts, the union of two, err, three lives into one, and your marriage must stand by the strength and power of the faith and love you have in one another. Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, please speak now or forever hold your peace." He pauses, looking up at the four guests.
A bubble floats up and pops next to the frog.
Their mother's hat slouches forward from the weight of its many trinkets.
The eggs remain still.
"Our guests seem to have no complaint." Bloom remarks, looking back down at his book. "Henry, do you take Urmine and Gothetta to be your lawfully wives from this day forward. To have and to hold, in good times and bad, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health; will you love, honor, and cherish them for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
Bloom looks to the witches.
"Urmine and Gothetta, do you take Henry to be your lawfully husband from this day forward. To have and to hold, in good times and bad, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health; will you love, honor, and cherish him for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do." They reply in unison.
Henry's gaze briefly moves to the stained-glass windows of the chapel as the sun seems to dim and a faint wind begins to pick up. Odd, it was clear skies when they flew over.
"Excellent. Now please, join hands so that you may recite your sacred vows."
Urmine, Gothetta, and Henry each put a hand out in between them, joining palms as they look to Father Bloom for the sacred lines.
"Henry, please repeat this vow to your brides, saying after me. I Henry, take you, Urmine and Gothetta, to be my wives, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you."
"I Henry, take you, Urmine and Gothetta, to be my wives, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you." He repeats.
"Urmine please repeat this vow to your husband. I Urmine, take you, Henry, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you."
"I Urmine, take you, Henry, to be my husband-slave, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you. Unless you attempt to be unfaithful, in which case I'm banishing you to the deepest, darkest pits of the Earth."
Bloom shrugs weakly.
"Close enough. Gothetta, please repeat this vow to your husband. I Gothetta, take you, Henry, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you."
The doe nervously titters on her hooves, looking around the chapel in an attempt to calm her frazzled brain.
"I G-Gothetta, take you, Henry, to be my love companion, to have...to have...uhh..."
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse..." Bloom helps her.
"To hold and to have, from this day onward, for better or worse..."
As Gothetta continues to limp along reciting her vows Henry's once again distracted by what's happening outside the stained-glass windows of the chapel. The outside appears to dim even further and loud booms sound off in the distance. A howling wind screams across the chapel's roof as the pitter patter of rain begins to start.
"-promise to love you and cherish you and pat your head and call you a good husband from time to time." Gothetta confidently ends.
"Okay, we're done with the vows. Almost to the end here." Father Bloom says with a cathartic sigh, turning the page of his book. "Henry, Urmine, Gothetta, having proclaimed your love for, and commitment to one another under the gaze of the benevolent gods above, and these witnesses, it is my pleasure to pronounce you, by the power vested in me by the church, married! You may now kiss the brides!" He exclaims, hands raised with a smile.
Before Bloom's last sentence is even out of his mouth Urmine and Gothetta lean forward, smacking Henry in the mouth with their muzzles in an awkward three-way kiss. After a few seconds a fourth party decides to join in, and Henry feels a fuzzy rope trying to insert itself into the triad. He immediately breaks from the kiss and swats his tail back down.
"Down, damn you! Insubordinate thing." He angrily whispers, batting it back behind him.
Gothetta covers her mouth and giggles.
"Guess your tail wanted in on some wedding smooches as well. I don't blame it, you're a good kisser."
"Well the tail isn't getting married so as far as I'm concerned it gets no kisses, not one."
The tail droops depressingly, then falls to the ground.
"We'd best be going." Shouts Urmine, cradling an egg in her arms. "The eggs are growing cold, and they'll only grow colder on the trip to the cabin."
"Eeep!" Gothetta yelps, running over to Urmine and pressing the other egg against her own bosom. "You're right, the hatchlings must be feeling chilly. Help me put them back in their pack."
The sisters quickly line the backpack with blankets and nestle the eggs back inside. Gothetta puts her mother's hat back on and tosses Edmund's bottle over to Henry.
"Catch! We've got to move with haste dearest husband, the weather outside is getting worse."
"You don't say, I heard it pick up during our vows." He replies, joining the sisters.
Before departing they all look back at Father Bloom and wave goodbye.
"Thank you for the wonderful ceremony, Father Bloom." Says Urmine. "I assure you we'll ensure Henry is keeping up with his husbandly duties as the years march on. Wouldn't want him to renege on those vows, after all."
"Thanks for officiating his status as our love-companion Father!" Yells Gothetta.
"And thanks for doing this on such short notice!" Adds Henry.
"Oh thank you, thank you. I'm just happy I was able to see you two witchly sisters finally get married to an upstanding young man. And that fact that he was consenting was just icing on the cake."
"And a little something for your time."
Urmine tosses a gold coin over to Father Bloom and he catches it in the air, subtly slipping it under his robe as the three newlyweds turn and walk towards the entrance. On the way out Urmine grabs the cake box and bag of bottles, handing them to Henry.
"Take good care of these things, husband-slave. They'll be necessary for the festivities later tonight."
"You can be assured I will." He smiles, eyeing the many bottles of alcohol in the bag.
The three of them open the chapel doors to be met with a torrential downpour. Dark clouds fill the sky and the streets are largely empty.
"Damn, it's bad luck to rain on your wedding day." Henry mutters.
"Ha!" Urmine guffaws. "Maybe where you're from. For a witch it's good luck, and the heavier the storm the better the luck. This thunderstorm is a good omen, Henry. A sign of a long and bountiful future for us."
Henry looks to the rain and exhales.
"Guess that future will have to start tomorrow."