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Part eight of the trade. I hope you enjoy it

As always, comments are appreciated and requested.

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Continued from "Of Darkness and Light...'

Shandi sat in a comfortable chair before a reading desk, her spellbook propped open before her. Written by many hands, the book was almost a record of the master magi of her order since its founding, passed from one to the next, each adding his or her own touches within it. It constantly changed as its owner learned, the magic that bound it containing many volumes of text, enough to fill a small library in fact, new and more difficult spells appearing within its yellowed pages even as the old ones were mastered. Normally, the book was engrossing in the extreme, so much so that even Shandi, who had always cared little for study, could lose herself within it for hours at a time. And normally, she would have been able to begin using the spell that she was reading about within a few minutes of reading the page. But she had been staring at the same page for the last half an hour, and though she had read it a dozen times at least, not a word had sunk in. Heaving a sigh, Shandi sat back and stretched, looking out the nearby balcony door instead of at the old book; she couldn't seem to focus today. The six months since the assassination attempt had been more than a little odd, to be sure. They had been strange for a number of reasons, but mostly because almost nothing had happened in them, at least as far as the endless interplay between families went.

Not long after the attack, House Kirinus, which had been so active in grappling with her own house for generations, had suddenly seemed to vanish overnight. In the last six months, house Kit'ranth had gained control of five worlds that Kirinus had controlled, an unprecedented gain, the later house seeming to have simply abandoned them. Nothing had been seen of their representatives either, not even in the royal court, the one event that all noble houses were required to attend every year. It was as if they had all suddenly died off. As a result, Shandi's father had been growing increasingly paranoid, sure that their ancient rival was up to something. The house guards had been on high alert ever since the attack, not that that mattered to Shandi much. Her protection was much greater than any other member of the house, though her guardians numbered only one. And that, of course, brought to mind the reason why she couldn't seem to focus this autumn. Though this time of year she could usually be found wandering the wild places of her world, enjoying the ever-shifting colors of nature as the trees and plants prepared for the coming cold of winter, she usually was able to study the spell book a little every day as well. Shaking her head as it started to drift towards the reasons why she was distracted, Shandi tried to think of something else, anything else really, but it was difficult to do so.

Heaving another sigh, Shandi slumped in her chair, giving up and allowing her thoughts to drift to the source of her distraction, as they often did these days. The thing that had so distracted her sat at another desk behind her, his comforting presence as politely close as it always was in public. Of course, it wasn't nearly as close as he usually was these days in her private chambers, the chambers that were constantly protected by as many wards as she could maintain without sacrificing too much strength, wards she had created out of the fear of someone discovering the secret that they were keeping. Kael's chair groaned as the Knight leaned back in it, balancing on two legs easily. His posture was one of relaxation, his armored feet up on the desk before him, and he was idly twirling the stem of a scarlet oak leaf between his fingers, though she knew better than to assume he was relaxed. He was testing himself, testing his balance, his armored weight enough to unbalance anyone else who assumed the same posture. He did that a lot, the constant training he had endured when he was growing up having taught him to constantly test and try his ability. 'A warrior who is never challenged, is a warrior whose skill will fail' was a popular saying among the knights, with a fair amount of truth to it.

Turning her head, Shandi looked at her protector unobtrusively out of the corner of her eye and marveled at how quickly he had become more to her than simply a bodyguard. When he had first been assigned to guard her by her father, she had gotten the feeling that he was trustworthy, and as the days had gone by, and the tension in the household had increased, she had begun to share her concerns with him, finding it therapeutic to simply talk with someone about them, someone who would not use them against her. And, though her Knight always seemed above scheming and political posturing, he also seemed to have the ability to see a person's intent clearly, no matter how they tried to hide it, a skill she assumed came from his battle training. Within a month, he had become her trusted confidant, the only one with whom she could discuss anything and everything. Not even Kaia knew the things that she told Kael. But even back then, he had been becoming more to her.

It seemed that no matter what she needed, he was it. When she was feeling lonely, he was there to cheer her up. When she needed council, he provided it. And, on the few occasions when she had been in danger, he had been her shield. So, a few months ago, when she realized she felt a genuine affection for him, she hadn't thought it particularly strange. But then, even that feeling had changed. Almost two months ago, when autumn was just beginning, Shandi had gone into heat. Among the noble families, such an event was only rarely acknowledged to exist, and never talked about, it being considered vulgar conversation. Noblewomen undergoing it were expected to shut themselves off from the world until it was over, so they did not interfere with the goings on of their families. And, as anyone would have expected, during her cycle, Shandi's thoughts tended to dwell on members of the opposite sex, and in the heats she had endured before, they had all been anonymous individuals, an endless stream of almost faceless males, fantasies conjured by her aroused mind to satisfy her need to mate.

But this time had been very different. This time, she had been surprised to find only one person in her fantasies, a person that was far from faceless. A person that had occupied her fantasies time and again, no matter how hard she had tried to dismiss him. The object of her desires, returning over and over in her sleep until she gave in while waking, was lean, muscular and tough. His fur was white, with a silver circlet pattern on his head. But more, he was a canine, not a feline as all her previous fantasies had been, and during the whole week she was in estrus, the real version of her fantasy had been standing guard outside her door, a thin barrier of iron bound wood the only thing that separated them. It had been a constant battle to keep from calling out to him in her addled state, from begging him to free her from the burning of her torturous heat, the only way her body knew how. It was something she had tried to deny, tried to sweep away because mating outside one's race was an entirely taboo thought to begin with. It was almost unheard of within the noble families, the purity of their blood being of utmost importance and those that did were universally cast out, their act shaming them forever. And, this particular thought was made even more taboo because not only was he not of her race, he was not from one of the twelve families at all.

When her mind had been rational again, Shandi had at first chalked up the fantasies as nothing more than a primal desire for the handsome wolf, a product of knowing his strength, his suitability for siring strong children. But, because of what happened after her heat had ended, she knew now that it was much more than that. Denying her heat, as it was called when one didn't mate during estrus, had always made her feel depressed, so depressed that she didn't usually come out of her room for days, sometimes until as much as a week later. As before, after this year's heat was over, the depression settled in like a thick blanket and she had fallen asleep with tears staining her pillow, remaining awake just long enough to tell her guardian that it was over.

But that night, she had dreamed of waking in sorrow and misery, only to find her fantasy lover returned, this time hugging her gently, lending her comfort with his embrace as he had after the assassin attack. And, even in her dreams, the Knight seemed to have the greatest respect for her, sitting calmly in a chair beside her bed, rather than climbing in with her as any other lover might have. Touched by the care he showed for her, she had pulled him closer, guided him until he lay beside her beneath the sheets, his strong arms that could be so gentle holding her close, his steady heartbeat guiding her from the fog of her depression like a beacon. She had dreamed that she had fallen asleep cuddled in her Knight's arms, a warm smile on her face.

She could still remember waking up that next morning with perfect clarity. The first breath she had drawn in had been filled with a scent that was familiar and comforting, the scent of the wolf that protected her. She remembered feeling that it was a shame that it would fade as her mind awoke, the fantasy individual that comforted her remaining in dreamland while she walked the waking world. But then, the scent hadn't faded, returning with each breath and she had opened her eyes to find that, inexplicably, the fantasy lover in her bed was flesh and blood after all. The real Kael lay beside her, clad in his sleeping garments once more, his arms around her, gently holding her, protecting her from her dark feelings even while asleep. And then she had known that her dream had not been a dream at all, but a reality. At first, she had expected to be horrified at herself. After all, she had pulled a man into her bed, into a position where he would have been free to take advantage of her. And yet, as she had lain there, waiting for the shame to come, she had felt no such thing. It had taken her long minutes of puzzling over it to realize why.

She had no fear of Kael doing anything to harm her, or for that matter, anything that was against her wishes, her trust in him absolute. And, after accepting that, after getting over the initial shock of waking up in such a position, she had realized something amazing. The depression that had filled her was gone, lifted as a fog will vanish in the bright sun. She had considered, for a moment, getting up, since she now had no reason to remain in bed. But, as she had started to pull back from her protector's embrace, a sudden series of realizations had come to her, one after the other, arriving so fast that she only barely had time to acknowledge each before another supplanted it. First, she had no true desire to leave that wonderful embrace. Second, since her family would no doubt expect that she would be depressed for a few days more and leave her be, she could actually indulge herself and stay there.

And finally, as the first golden rays of dawn had crept in through her window, alighting gently on the sleeping form of the wolf, she realized that the affection she had been feeling for the Knight had blossomed some time ago into full blown love, a love so different than anything she had ever felt. All those that she had loved had been her family, her blood, and the love had been expected, almost required. But this was more, deeper somehow. And she had realized in the same instant exactly why she felt that way about him. Of all the people she knew, he was the only one, among all the servants and nobles and soldiers she had ever met, who looked on her and saw only her, not what they wanted or what they expected her to be. So, instead of leaving his embrace, she had settled back down, cuddling close against Kael, and allowed herself to drift off, back into the pleasant mists of the dream world, paying no heed to the tiny voice in her mind that warned of the danger of that act.

When next she awoke, she had found that Kael was awake as well, staring up at the ceiling with a contemplative look on his face. They had spent the next hour or so quietly discussing what had happened during the night, and then... Shandi shook her head. Though she remembered what came next with a fondness that had never ceased to distract her since that day, she tried not to think about it when she was out in the rest of the manor. Often, since that day of late summer, she had allowed herself to relive what had come after waking that morning, had allowed the cherished memory to envelop her so completely that it was like she was there again. And always, she had found herself reluctant to leave it, as if the memory was a sanctuary from the life she was forced to lead as a member of a noble house. It always felt as though she could remain in those wonderful moments forever, protected from the world and the troubles that filled it. And then, even as she tried to resist, the images of that day returned, redoubled in intensity, the memory pressing in on her mind, and she let out a heartfelt sigh, settling forward on the desk with her chin on her arms, closing her eyes and surrendering once more, returning to that day, that wonderful day...

***

Shandi looked up at her protector from where she lay, her head on his chest, odd instincts swelling up within her. After many minutes of quiet discussion, dancing around the issue, she had finally asked him why he had allowed her to pull him into the bed with her the night before. And when she had asked, he had done something that she had never seen him do before. He blushed, looking away shyly.

"I am sorry for any embarrassment I have brought you, my lady." He replied. "But it seemed the best way to comfort you." Though he said no more, Shandi sensed that something was going unsaid, and, as a suspicion worked its way into her mind, she smiled, finding herself blushing as well. After a few moments more of silence, she spoke at last, her voice quiet, trembling with nervous anticipation.

"Kael," she said and he looked down at her, his piercing eyes curious. "When I woke up, and found that you were real, and not an illusion, I wasn't embarrassed. In fact, it made me realize something, something I have felt for a long time." Pausing to take a deep breath, Shandi suddenly felt as if she were standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump off into oblivion, but she forged onward, her heart hammering in her chest. "There aren't words to express how much everything you have done has meant to me. What you mean to me." Shivering, she met his gaze unflinchingly, the electric thrill washing through her once more as she prepared to say the heavenly words she had held in her heart longer than she knew. "I love you Kael."

For a moment, in truth the briefest fraction of a moment, she felt the fear of a denial come to her mind. What if he didn't feel the same? What if she had forever ruined what they had had by her admission? And then, the moment passed, and he smiled, not the small smile he had displayed before when he was pleased, not the small symbol of gratification that he allowed through his stoic mask of control, but a full, real smile, and Shandi wondered at the change it made. The fierce lines that made him look so magnificent and foreboding in battle eased, smoothed away by the expression and it was like the sun breaking suddenly through thick cloud. His white furred face seemed almost radiant, the joy and wonder that filled the look banishing the fears and doubts that had sprung up in her mind. Though there were no words needed to explain the expression, he spoke anyway.

"My lady, you cannot know how much I have wished to hear you say that." He began, his voice a quiet whisper, as if he was confiding the greatest of all secrets to her. At his words, she looked at him in confusion, asking in silence a question that he answered a moment later. "For weeks now, everything I have done has been for another purpose beyond fulfilling my duty, a reason I have kept secret. It was the only way I could show how I felt about you. It was something I thought, until this moment, to be beyond hope of being returned. You have been the ruler of my heart, Shandi, though I didn't dare say it. More than anything, that is why I let you pull me closer last night, though I knew I shouldn't let myself do it."

Shandi's own smile mirrored that of the knight, an incredible warmth filling her, a heat far different than the fire of the mating drive she had endured, a heat that melted her heart rather than scorching it. And, in that moment, so close to one whom she knew shared the heat she felt, she gently touched his cheek with her hand, caressing his jaw. And then, after a moment's pause, seeing the love in his eyes, she moved forward, instinct drawing her to him. The moment their lips met, the last, tiny, niggling doubt was swept away, drowned in the warm sweetness of her protector as she kissed him. A bare heartbeat later, Kael returned her kiss, his embrace tightening, pulling her against him. On instinct, as their kiss continued, deepening as the exotic taste of the canine filled her mind, Shandi pressed in closer to Kael, molding her body against his, her pulse thundering in her ears. A few moments later, Shandi finally broke the kiss, panting, breathless for a reason she didn't quite understand. And, as they held each other so closely, both drawing greedily upon the air, Shandi felt a sudden realization crystallize in her mind, even as Kael regarded her in surprise, his blue eyes wide.

She had felt this way before, not more than a day ago, with a fire burning within her, consuming her as she frantically tried to quench it with fantasies of the man who now held her. For a moment, she feared that her heat had returned, that she was making a grave mistake, but that faded away quickly as she considered the heat that stemmed from her protector. The warmth that warmed her now, that made her yearn for the one who lay beside her, was not the all-consuming fire of her heat. It was an almost soothing warmth, something that she knew would not be quenched by giving in, but rather fueled by it. And, as a silent question flitted across the face of her Knight, the very same question that she had asked herself a moment before, she felt a warm smile come to her lips and in answer, she gently kissed him again, a short kiss that was all the answer he needed.

Grinning broadly, Shandi trailed her fingertips across Kael's chest, only the barest tips of her claws unsheathed, a shiver washing through him as they carved furrows in his alabaster pelt. And, with an equally radiant smile, Kael reciprocated, his fingers outlining the edge of the gaps in her nightgown that let her wings be free, and slowly, gently, sliding beneath the cloth to caress the fur of her back. Shandi shivered, the delightful sensation like a bolt of lightning made of pure pleasure, washing up and down her spine. And, as his hands continued on up through the soft fur over her back, circling the base of her white wings, she gasped, arching her back, pressing against his chest, her fur leaping to attention all over. And then, as she nuzzled his chin, kissing his throat, she felt his hands leave her back, trailing around to her side. And then, almost tentatively, Kael's paws caressed her stomach through her gown, then trailed slowly upward. He moved torturously slowly, taking more than a minute to make the journey to her ribs, and then, she gasped quietly once more, the sound muffled by the fur of his neck. The snow-leopardess instantly felt her nipples erect themselves as Kael's paws drifted over them, barely touching her through her clothes, making her twitch with excitement. And then, as she felt his touch shift around once more, she realized that something was different from all the fantasies she had had. While his touch was as sensual as she had always dreamed it would be, something was missing.

And then, she knew what it was. In her fantasies, Kael had had her undressed by now, forcefully taking charge and taking her as fiercely as he fought in battle. But somehow, this was so much better, the gentleness he displayed more arousing than anything she had imagined. And then, as she felt his gentle caress swirl around her bosom, giving her sizeable breasts a squeeze that sent a jolt of pleasure through her, a desire suddenly thrust aside her thoughts, and she acted on it at once, not considering even for a moment what she was doing. Giving him one more, gentle kiss, she rose up so she was sitting back on her haunches, freeing herself from his embrace for a few moments. And then, blushing fiercely, she seized the edge of her nightgown and then drew it upward, sliding it over her head, flicking her long, black-spotted tail forward to conceal her now naked privates. Then, smiling shyly, she tossed the garment aside and then sat for a moment, somehow pleased to see that Kael was blushing just as fiercely, his white fur appearing almost pink. And then, suddenly feeling like she was going a little too fast, Shandi started to cover up, bashfully lowering her eyes away from the wolf's piercing stare, but then Kael took her hand in his and drew her close once more, smiling gently. Returning the smile, she came willingly, pressing her naked chest to his, shivering at the feel of his fur against hers. It was a sensation that was terribly exciting and at the same time, almost soothing, the smooth warmth settling into her closely.

Still feeling a little shy, Shandi simply pressed herself against him, the feeling of warmth holding back the instincts that had driven her a moment before. But Kael didn't press her to move on, his hands tracing along her back once more, going no lower than they had before. And somehow, that simple act of respect soothed away the shyness in a blast of warmth, and she simply cuddled against him, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. In that moment, she decided that it didn't really matter if they moved on at all, the sensation of closeness enough. But gradually, as she lay there, a different instinct began to well up within her, something that she hadn't realized still existed within her. It was something filled with mischief, the side of herself that liked to break rules, push the boundaries as it were, a side that she hadn't heeded since she was a child.

And, as it crept into prominence in her mind, she grinned, allowing it to take over once more. At once, as she cuddled against her companion, her hands began to trail down his body, tracing his lean muscles, sending shivers through him as well. And then, her hands trailed further down, teasing the fur just above the edge of his close fitting trousers and she felt his breath catch in surprise. Grinning at him with mischief in her gaze, she undid the ties that held the garment so close to him and then, slowly, torturously, she slid a paw under the cloth, tracing further down. And then, after a few moments of gentle tickling, her hand encountered something slick and eminently male, and, being as gentle as she could, she outlined it with her fingertips, feeling the sheath where it normally hid, feeling it lengthen even as she touched it.

Kael groaned at her touch, biting his lower lip, his hands twitching and her grin spread wider, her whole body trembling slightly in excitement as she caressed his wolfhood, encircling the rapidly emerging shaft and stroking it gently. As she stroked, she felt one of Kael's paws grip a clump of her back fur, his grip tightening reflexively as she continued to tease him. And then, on instinct, just as his breath was starting to quicken, she pulled back her paw, watching him intently. He was still biting his lip, breathing hard and Shandi felt a curious sense of pleasure that she was the one who made him feel like that. And then, as they stared at each other, a mutual understanding suddenly flared in their eyes and they shifted apart.

Shandi lay back on her side of the bed, her tail still concealing her slit, unable to stop herself from staring as Kael pushed the trousers he wore down his body and off, revealing the entirety of his physique to her for the first time. Shandi stared, almost mesmerized, as he dropped the garment off the edge of the bed. Then, the wolf moved closer to her once more, laying a paw upon her belly, planting a kiss on her lips as his body came close enough for her to feel the heat of his arousal. Then, with an odd light twinkling in his gaze, his hand began to slide downward, caressing her with his fingers, tickling her stomach, making her shiver. As his fingers drew nearer and nearer to her nethers, Shandi felt an excited thrill wash through her, making her heart pound hard once more, her breathing quickening until she was panting in anticipation, her entire body trembling. And then, a wave of sudden pleasure made her back arch, pressing her body against him as his warm paw touched the top of her slit, sliding down slowly, outlining it with his claws.

And then, slowly, he began to stroke the outside of her slick labia with two fingers, and she felt her body grow hot once more, but nowhere more so than between her legs. Gasping, Shandi pulled her Knight down against her, kissing him fiercely as his fingers caressed her delicately, dancing across her privates, every motion sending a wave of pleasure through her, excitement making it hard to breathe. But then, even as she delighted in his tender touch, the mischievous part of her that had taken over suddenly changed a little, the fire pulsing through her veins desiring something more than teasing. And yet, something still held her back. She had never before known the touch of a man, and it was something that she had been saving for someone truly special. And, for a moment, as she clung to her wolfish protector, her whole body yearning for him, she asked herself the question. And, in an instant, she found herself once more looking into the piercing gaze of the warrior who held her. And in his eyes was only one thing. Love; nothing more, simply love, the simple desire to make her happy, to please her. And in that desire, she found her answer. Though it took all the effort she possessed, Shandi reached out and laid her hand on Kael's arm, stopping his teasing motions.

Then, with her sapphire blue eyes locked with the icy gaze of her love, she shifted position, sliding over to the middle of the bed, guiding Kael until he was poised above her. And then, she felt the tip of his member nudge her labia, a droplet of pre that had collected on it mixing with her own fluids. There, panting, the pair paused, their gaze filled with matching desire and Shandi nodded once in encouragement, spreading her legs a little wider. Then, Kael pushed forward slowly, gently parting her lips, his member sliding into her crevice slowly. Discomfort welled up within her as her chosen lover stretched her for the first time, but he went so slowly, his movement so gentle that it wasn't quite pain that she felt. At least, not until he reached her hymen.

When she felt his tip graze the barrier within her, she grimaced and at once Kael stopped, holding still, though she could feel his excited heart beat pounding through him. And, though she could see that he was so aroused that he was shaking, he paused there, not moving. Seeing the care he took for her, his unwillingness to cause her pain, she felt a strange conviction suddenly well up in her mind. No matter what it cost her, she wanted to be the mate of this wonderful wolf, who denied himself so much for her.

Taking hold of Kael's hips with her hands, she gently moved him back, pulling his member a little way from her crevice and then, with her gaze locked on his, she put her arms around him, pulling his chest to hers. Then, she suddenly thrust upward hard with her hips, driving his member deep within her. The swift motion tore the barrier within her, and she bit down on her lover's shoulder, biting back a cry of pain. And then, as she waited for the pain to die down, she noticed another surprise, something that she only became aware of as he held himself still, hilted within her. Near the base of his shaft was a bulge of flesh, a little wider than the rest, a bulge which had been hidden in his sheath when she had teased him earlier.

As the sharp pain subsided into a dull ache, Shandi released his shoulder from her jaws, wrapping her legs around his waist, holding him within her for a little while, both of them trembling against each other. And again, though his chest heaved with arousal and she could feel his pulse through his shaft, Kael remained wholly still, holding her tightly while her body adjusted to his girth. And, after a few moments, the pain faded away wholly, its last remnants drowned in an excited wave of sensation that suddenly coursed within her, as if something had suddenly changed within her. And finally, she nodded, signaling to her lover. She was ready.

The wolf slowly withdrew from her until just his tip was within her, and then, he began to thrust, slowly at first, gently keeping her stretched. And with every thrust, the discomfort she felt grew to be less and less, electrifying pleasure taking over. Inside of a minute, she felt nothing but pleasure, the discomfort and pain long gone, almost unmarked and wholly unmissed. Then, the pleasure began to build, and she began to pant with every thrust, exhaling a small gasp of pleasure as her Knight loved her. And then, as his speed began to pick up a little more, she realized that the bulge of flesh at his base was getting bigger, swelling with his pulse. It was stretching her a little more each time and soon, it was so large that it was popping in and out with each thrust, an unfamiliar and yet exciting sensation.

And then, as she felt it strain at her entrance once more, a pair of contradicting thoughts crossed her mind suddenly. 'What if it gets stuck inside me?' She wondered, and then, moments later, as it popped into her once more, seeming to getting bigger even as it did so, making her gasp loudly as her increasingly more tightly stretched walls quivered, she realized that that was exactly what it was supposed to do. Then, suddenly, all such thoughts left her, because all at once, as Kael withdrew from her one more time, she felt her whole body tense up, incredible pressure building within her nethers and she clutched at her lover, lifting her torso off the bed, pressing their chests together. All at once, just as Kael's knot worked its way into her once more, something gave way within her and she came, her walls clenching up on his shaft, her wings flaring wide, her toes curling.

And, even as her eyes squeezed shut, the familiar, odd chirruping sounds coming from her throat as rapid explosions of sensation washed through her, she felt the bulge of flesh suddenly expand within her, stretching her flesh tightly, sealing her passage. And, even as the first climax began to die, Kael began to give short, quick thrusts, the sensation of his knot shifting back and forth within her suddenly driving her over the edge once more into a second climax, the explosions of pleasure so intense spots started to swim in her sight, her chirruping getting louder in her ears. And then, she felt his rhythm grow suddenly ragged, and she knew instinctually that he was very close to cumming as well and she pressed herself tighter to him.

And then, with one final thrust, Kael buried his shaft as deep as he could within her, letting out a grunt of pleasure, his jaw set hard, and she felt his balls clench up at the base of his sheath. Then, she felt a new, very welcome warm sensation deep inside her, driving her over the edge one last time into unmatched bliss. And, as she dug her claws into her lover's back, reflexively gripping him as closely as she could, she felt warm jets of his seed flooding into her, her rigidly flared wings twitching in time with each one. The wondrous sensation went on for what seemed like forever, the pair locked close together. And then, finally, he stopped spurting, the waves of pleasure subsided into an odd, very pleasant feeling, a feeling Shandi hadn't expected. Still clinging tightly to her lover's body, she felt an odd closeness to him, greater than ever before, a feeling of such intimacy that she didn't want to ever let go of him, wanting to remain this way forever.

Slowly, Kael began shifting over to the side, gently pulling her with him so that he was on his back with her lying on top of him, pillowed comfortably against his chest, their bodies joined tightly at the hip. And then, as the incredible, radiant afterglow of mating settled into her, a fuzzy sort of warmth that centered itself on her belly, an odd, wonderfully absurd thought flitted into the snow leopardess' mind, a realization of why male wolves had that wonderful knot. It forced them to cuddle with their partner afterward, made them stay close, holding each other closely. Although she sensed that Kael would have cuddled with her even if they weren't tied, she still really enjoyed the sensation of being joined with him. Then, filled with a feeling of unmatched warmth and contentment, Shandi snuggled in close to his chest, letting his strong arms enfold her once more, and, breathing in his warm scent with every breath, she had let herself fall back into the wonderful haze of sleep, forever safe and warm in her lover's arms...

***

Sudden voices passing by the study from out in the hall jarred Shandi out of her memories, and she looked around in confusion, silently berating herself for getting lost in the past once more, for it certainly didn't help her concentration. With the warm tendrils of the memory stubbornly clinging to her mind, she looked around the room once more, her gaze falling on Kael once more, who was now balancing on only one leg of the chair, the wood groaning as he balanced with perfect precision. Grinning at the sight, Shandi thought once more of her protector, marveling, as she often did these days, how different the proud warrior could be. There was the side of himself that he displayed to the world, that of a calm, quiet confidence, the air of a noble warrior, polite and courteous to all, but always ready to fight; and the side he displayed to his enemies, a steely mask that promised death to any who took up arms against him. And, everyone else in the house no doubt thought that that was all there was to him. But she knew there was another side, a side that he showed to her alone, a side that belonged to the quiet moments they had stolen, late at night when they could not be observed and to the memories of those few simple days, hidden away in her sealed chamber when they had consummated the love they felt for one another.

Heaving another quiet sigh, Shandi allowed her mind to drift back to the events that had followed the greatest secret they shared, being careful not to allow herself to sink within it as she had done before. They had spent the rest of that day and night, and on through the next as well cuddling closely, their clothing forgotten, gently exploring each other's bodies, drifting in and out of sleep in each other's arms, a pleasant haze blocking out the rest of the world. And then, finally, when they had emerged from her chambers, their outward appearance was studiously unchanged.

All that had happened those few days was something they had only been able to risk the once, her chambers having been protected by dozens of wards at the time, more than she could manage to maintain regularly, but still, every day, she felt the desire, like a hook within her mind, drawing her towards him whenever he was near. And he was never far away. Their love, and their act of blissful mating was a secret that, if it became known to anyone else, would lead to their separation and disgrace at the very least. And yet, Shandi felt no regret, none at all. After all, how could she regret it, when sharing what they had shared had been the most wonderful thing she had ever done, better than pushing the boundaries of magic, far better than any other happy moment she could remember?

And then, even as she sat there, staring out the window on the gardens ablaze with the fiery colors of autumn, a thought rose within her mind, a thought that had been lurking in some hidden corner for more than a week now, a thought that had foiled even her smallest attempts to concentrate. It was still a fantasy, but something that just might be made a reality. She had wanted to discuss it with Kael ever since it had first appeared in her mind, but every time she had tried, her nerve had failed. And she knew why too. As long as it remained unvoiced, hidden in her mind, she could dream that it was possible, that it was what would happen. But on this crisp autumn day, with the memory of their confessions of love strong within her, she decided that she would speak it aloud no matter what. Rising to her feet, she tucked the spell book into an enchanted pouch at her side and then turned to face Kael. Sensing what she wanted, he settled the chair back onto its legs and then stood up, following her closely as she led the way out into the gardens, her heart fluttering in her chest with nervousness. And finally, when they were walking together under the powder blue sky, their feet crunching through the fallen leaves, she finally gave voice to her thoughts.

"Kael, I was wondering if you would be willing to do something out of the ordinary." She began, speaking so her voice would not carry further than her companion's ears. A glance told her that he was waiting for her to continue. "Would you be willing to ask my father for permission..." To her great irritation, her voice chose that moment to break with nervousness, making her next words unintelligible. Shaking her head and licking her lips, she continued in a voice that was even quieter. "For permission to court me?" Blushing fiercely, Shandi looked over at Kael and saw him shake his head sadly. Shandi spoke again, her tone teasing, not feeling disappointed so much as curious. "Why not? Do you not care for me?"

"You know the answer to that already, my lady." He replied softly, the ghost of a sad smile on his lips, his tone resigned. And even that reply made Shandi smile, for though it was proper for him to refer to her by her title in public, for the two of them, it had become a term of affection, a touchstone infused with deep meaning. "If the circumstances were different, I would do so in a heartbeat. But..."

"But what?" Shandi asked. All along, she had sensed that this was the answer he had to give, but still, the fantasy lingered in her mind, stubbornly resisting the truth of his words. "You are of noble blood, so you have as much right as anyone to court me."

"No matter what we feel for each other, your father would never allow it." Kael replied, looking up at the sky with an expression that said, as plain as day, that the truth of his words was as a knife to his heart. "You are a daughter of a powerful noble house and I am but a retainer. But even if I wasn't, even if he was willing to allow a wolf to court you, I am not a suitor that your father would want. I may be of noble blood, but my family has been forever disgraced. And more than that, I have nothing to my name but my armor and my sword. I have no lands to offer, no money, not even a home to go to. I wish it were otherwise, truly I do." Shandi frowned, the fantasy finally fading away, and then looked down at the path with a deep sigh.

"I hate being a noble." She said and Kael cracked one of his small smiles. "I wish I was something else. Then we could be together, and I could study my magic without being bothered by politics and by assassins."

"Ah, but then you would have no need for me." Kael commented coyly, and Shandi laughed, looking up at the Knight, the silver-grey circlet of fur on his head catching the weak sunlight, gilding the mark with light as if he wore a jeweled crown.

"Perhaps you are right." She said, starting to walk on once more, her secret lover beside her. "Perhaps there are benefits to being a noble after all..."