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My name is Tobias. By now you all know my last name. Yes, I'm that Tobias, the "Animorph."

Jake had us all record our thoughts in journals, just in case the Yeerks killed us all. Our parents would find the journals, and maybe publish them, or something. Now that the war is won, and Earth is free from Yeerk control, we released all the journals written over the years.

Or what you thought was all of them. But there are more, many more, that we didn't release. Here and there, each of us skimmed over things that happened, things that were far too real. But I'm here to fix the record.

I had always wondered exactly how Cassie had gotten caught the day we attacked the Yeerk Pool. I can understand why she chose not to release this entry. I can understand why she doesn't want me to release it now. But an accurate account of history is more important than any of our feelings.

Chapter 20.5

I really don't want to write this one, but I learned some important things about morphing, and it explains why I wasn't able to meet up with the others before our attack on the Yeerk Pool. Jake told us all not to leave anything important out, even if it was embarrassing, and I won't.

Our trip to the zoo was over. Jake said he'd "acquired" a tiger, but I hadn't seen it yet. Marco acquired his first form, a silverback gorilla. Rachel wouldn't tell me what animals she'd gotten, but she said I would be impressed. As for Tobias, well, I doubt he got anything. After we got split up, I didn't see him again until we were ready to leave the Gardens. I'm not sure a red-tailed hawk is great for fighting.

I wasn't one to talk though. I looked around for a fearsome animal, but nothing felt right. I tried to think of something that could top my first transformation. Being a horse just felt so free and satisfying, though I still blush every time I think about what had almost happened that first time. I had come literally within inches of being bred by our colt! But walking around the zoo, I couldn't settle on something powerful. We were planning to enter the Yeerk Pool that night, and we needed all the firepower we could get.

Jake asked me on the way home what animal I had gotten, and I just shrugged and told him it was a surprise. I don't like to lie, but I didn't want to worry him either. I had a plan. Back at my dad's animal hospital we have two wolves. A wolf should be dangerous enough.

You'd think the first thing I would do when I got home was visit the wolves. I guess I should have, but I felt really queasy. I guess I was having second thoughts about tonight's attack. What did we really know about the Yeerk Pool? What did we really know about the Yeerks?

I needed to relax, and I knew my favorite way to do that! I quickly put on my skin-tight aerobics outfit underneath the rest of my clothes. I left the house, yelling at Dad that I was going to feed the animals. I had to visit the wolves, but first I wanted to see the horses. I jogged up the dirt road to the barn, about five minutes from our house, and another six or so from the animal clinic.

Once inside the barn, I walked to Captain's stall. Leila nickered at me, and I looked away from our colt, Blue. I wanted to ride Captain. He was a big, black horse with a white diamond on his forehead, about seven years old. He was gentle, like Leila, but powerful, and he was much better trained than Blue. He also was used to bare-back riding. There really is nothing more relaxing than riding a horse bare-back. You almost feel like you're flying!

I lead Captain out of his stall. There was no need to saddle him, so I just put on his reins and lead him toward the door. Just before leaving the barn, I hesitated. We lived way outside of town. No one would be around to see me riding around in just an aerobics outfit. I slipped off my day clothes, leaving them in a huddle next to the door. I wanted to be ready to morph if I needed to, and I wasn't sure how I could explain more ripped shoes and clothing to my mother.

Once I lead Captain outside, I jumped onto the nearby fence. I didn't want to get my bare feet dirty. Using the fence, I climbed on top of Captain, and we set off. I started directing the big, black horse toward the animal clinic, where the wolves waited to remind me of tonight's dangerous mission. I quickly changed my mind, instead riding Captain north into the fields.

The wolves could wait. I'm not sure I'd ever had a nicer ride. Captain plodding along at the slow pace I had set. I clung tightly to his mane, rising and falling with each step. The whole experience was different than usual. I felt a lot more connected to Captain, and maybe that's because I knew at any time I could change into a horse, too. Or maybe because only a thin layer of nylon separated me from him.

We walked through the trees, and I realized that I had lead Captain to roughly the same place in the meadow where Blue had caught up to me. My face burned red, thinking about it. Had I intentionally lead Captain there? Distracted, I let Captain roam. I was busy remembering that first transformation.

Blue had sniffed under my tail, becoming entirely too friendly. Horses weren't like dogs, so I knew what his interest in my rump must mean. I had been sharing this body with Leila, though. She had known what he was doing, too, but she had had an entirely different response.

She had raised her tail. No, I had raised my tail. The real Leila still existed, and was grazing in the distance at the time. I had kept blaming Leila, but to what extent were the decisions all mine? I had raised my tail, and in no time, Blue had known I was ready.

Blue had leapt onto my back, and despite all my efforts to overcome my instincts, I had just stood there and set my legs apart. He had curled his front legs around me, taken my neck in his teeth, and thrust. I still wonder if I'm glad he missed.

What if he hadn't been so inexperienced? I had watched Captain breed a number of times. He never seemed to miss his mark. If luck hadn't been on my side...

I lowered my hips at Blue's thrust, my whinny changing to a squeal as he pushed himself into me. He shoved himself in, his huge penis filling me up. What a way to experience your first time! Only seconds ago I had been running through the field, clueless. Now I was bucking my hips backwards against the pumping colt.

His grip was strong and I was trapped underneath him, but any urge to flee had left me. He thrust a second and a third time, smoothly gliding in and out. All I could do was push back against him and whinny into the air, matching Blue's triumphant calls.

I could feel him inside of me, spreading me apart. Each eager thrust only stopped when his hips collided with mine, his heavy testicles swinging forward against my rump. As he pulled back, his semen spilled out of me. But he wasn't done yet. I grunted and pushed back, knowing that it wouldn't be long before he flagged his tail, plunged into me, and didn't pull back.

He kept rolling his hips forward, ten times. Eleven. I was panting for air. Then, on his twelfth thrust, it happened. He grunted, as deep inside me as he could go, and I felt it. A flood flowing out inside of me. Finally, what Leila had been waiting so desperately for. No, what I had been waiting for.

I opened my eyes, remembering where I was. Captain had wandered to the edge of the meadow, favoring the clipped grass near the side of the road, and there I was lying on top of him, rubbing myself against his back. Right next to the road.

I quickly sat up, looking around. Thank goodness no one was there! Except Captain, of course, between my legs. I realized that my leotard was drenched. I felt so good and so warm, like I was almost ready to burst. But something had driven me out of my dream. What was it?

Then I heard it again, snapping twigs and flying gravel. Someone was coming down the road! Quickly, I grabbed Captain's reins and started him into a trot. I had to get away from the road. I know you're not supposed to look over your shoulder while galloping, but I had to see. My heart stopped when I caught a glimpse of the vehicle.

A police car! I wondered if it were that Yeerk who had almost caught me the day after we met Prince Elfangor. Either way, I needed to get out of sight. I turned Captain toward the trees, hoping to get out of sight before the policeman could see me.

I don't know if I was successful, but the police car kept driving by. I was gasping for breath, realizing suddenly that I had been holding it in. That was close! I had no idea what a Yeerk would do to a kid out wandering alone.

Regardless, I needed to be getting back home. The sun was a lot farther down than I had anticipated. I had to get Captain back in the barn, and head to the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic to acquire a wolf for tonight. I kept Captain at a healthy trot, bouncing up and down as he zoomed across the meadow.

I couldn't help feeling every bump. Each downward stride, I fell for a second only to press up against Captain's bare back. The wet aerobics outfit might as well not have been there. I tried to keep my wits about me, but I just felt too good.

Grabbing firmly onto Captain's reins with one hand, I let him chart the course back to the barn. My other hand went between my legs. It's not like I hadn't tried this before, in my room at night. But this time, on Captain's back, it was a whole new experience!

I was gasping for breath when Captain finally made it to the barn, and I realized that we were almost visible from the house. I didn't want my parents to see what I was doing! I had to get him into the barn right away. Instead of getting off of Captain, I ducked my head and rode in.

Once inside, I relaxed. No one could see me in the barn. Captain walked slowly toward his stall, each step making me tingle. I put my hand back between my legs, and that's when I realized it. My leotard was gone!

Or at least part of it. I looked down in shock to see that the wet clothes between my legs and melded into my olive skin, which was sprouting a bit more hair than I was used to. My fingers were tucked neatly within my large, protruding, tear-drop shaped mound. Without realizing it, I had begun to change into a horse! I even had a wiry black tail.

The rest of my body seemed normal. My aerobics outfit still covered my chest and legs. But right between my legs I was the spitting image of Leila. How long had I been like this? What would happen if I stayed partially changed for more than two hours?

At the time, I didn't care. Instead, I just pushed my fingers deeper, squeezing my legs around Captain's barrel. My new folds easily enveloped my fingers, and I wondered how much further I could go. But first I needed to get down from Captain.

I swung my leg over his side and landed into the hay with a loud whump. I knelt on my knees and began pushing my hand as far into me as possible. My eyes widened as I realized I had managed to squeeze in my whole fist! I groaned, pushing deeper, but I could only fit a few more inches. I clenched so tightly around my fist that all I could think about was Blue pushing his way into me.

Until I glanced over at Captain. There, swinging beneath him, was his massive penis. I guess once I shifted partially to a horse, he had caught the scent. He turned his head toward me, sniffing.

I don't know what had come over me! Maybe Leila's instincts were taking over, but I reached under Captain with my free hand, and cupped the large horse's penis. As I pushed my hips down against my fist, I ran my fingers across Captain's still growing erection.

I kept panting, wanting more. I glanced over at Captain. I could feel myself changing. My legs started to change first. My feet compressed, the painless snapping of bones reforming echoing off the walls of the barn. Dark brown fur replaced the thin nylon leotard. I groaned again.

What was I doing? I was finishing the transformation. Soon I would be a full horse. And then what would happen? I squeezed Captain's erection, knowing he was ready and able. He knew exactly what to do with a mare in heat.

I kept squeezing and clenching around my fist. I felt so good, but I wanted more. I needed more. I knew when I finally stood on four legs, Captain would come up behind me. I knew I would spread my legs for him. I knew he would mount me.

And I wanted nothing more. I could feel my face beginning to stretch out into a horse's snout, my neck getting longer. I shivered in anticipation, knowing that in seconds I would have Captain inside of me. Pounding me. Breeding me.

As I pulled my fist out from between my legs to continue the transformation, I gasped. My fingers brushed up against something deep inside of me, and I just couldn't take it anymore. Right there, crouching on the floor of the barn as some weird half-human horse creature, I began to whinny. My entire body shook, my legs quivering as I squealed.

I felt something wet dripping out of me, landing on my still-forming hooves. My tail was up and to the side, but there was nothing Captain could do while I was still crouched on the floor. But I had forgotten about Captain. I wasn't thinking about anything but the feelings shooting through my body. Who knows how long I lay there, shuddering in the hay.

When my mind returned to me, I was lying face first in the hay. I was fully human now, and my skin-tight clothing had reformed, still drenched in sweat and other fluids. I was gasping for air next to a confused Captain. Things hadn't worked out so well for him.

I sat up, feeling strangely warm and sleepy. I thought about finishing the transformation anyway, for Captain's sake. Suddenly I realized It was getting dark outside. I had places to be! We were supposed to meet at the school!

I scrambled to my feet, apologizing to Captain as I put him back in his stall. I yanked my clothes on over my soaked leotard. I needed to get to the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic and acquire one of the wolves right away! I didn't think a horse would be very effective in the Yeerk Pool beneath the school...

Once I was dressed, I exited the barn, and latched it. When it clicked shut, I turned around and my heart nearly stopped. There, ten feet away, stood the very same Yeerk police officer who had almost caught me a few days ago! He must have been prowling around and heard something at the barn. I clamped my hand over my mouth to avoid screaming. If I acted normal, maybe I could get away.

But my hopes were quickly dashed as the man started toward me. I ran for the house, yelling, but he was so much faster. He grabbed my arms, and pulled me back toward his waiting police car.

Where was he taking me? I couldn't escape his grasp. As he shoved me into the back of the patrol car, I realized. He was going to take me to the Yeerk Pool. He was going to put one of those slugs into my head! I screamed.