FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Because of some family issues, I've been having major delays. Maybe I should have posted the story chapter by chapter after I finished the whole thing up, I didn't make account of all the possible obstacles that I faced up until now... heh... oh well, I'll keep that in mind for the up-coming stories I might post here. And sorry about the sudden change in the story's name. There's a reason, and it will change again for the final part.

Also, a fair warning: (R18+)

Yes, this is an adult story, with male/male action (with mild drama squeezed in between for the sake of the story), bad language and mild violence (in yiff at times), so if you are disturbed by such things, or simply get a turn off by some, do yourself a favor and don't proceed. Consider yourself warned.

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The hyena walked hurriedly, passing through laughs and picks as many of the fox's underlings boasted on kicking a police station's ass. It was like passing through a bunch of animals and cattle in a farm, Zephyr thought. And that's exactly what they were; thugs with heads either empty or filled with nothing but... stuff that he'd rather not venture in too much. It was hollow brags with no balls; should they lose that devious Ambrosio for whatever reason, the whole pack will disperse in a glimpse.

He knocked the door politely as always, and excused himself to enter. He stopped at the door when he caught Amado and the brute eyeing him in silence.

"I... I'm sorry if I interrupt-"

"Ah, not at all, my boy. You're just the person I wanted to see."

The fox motioned for the hyena, inviting him to step near his friend, the atmosphere in the room was a little colder than usual. Zephyr stood silently near the buffalo, when finally the later turned at him in gazes as cold as ever. The aging fur returned to his chair before going on.

"I've heard you met Ramzy in the beach before taking the plan in motion the other day... alone."

"Yes, I was off-duty and thought about a quiet stroll."

"What did you do when you saw him?"

"... nothing, we just talked-"

"Inside the toilet cabinets for almost 15 minutes?"

Zephyr smiled; the feeling on the beach was no imagination, the old fox has sent someone to observe his moves. It was a good thing that he asked Ramzy to stay quiet about it.

"Yup, for almost 15 minutes."

"You didn't tell him anything about it, did you?"

"The project? No, he doesn't know a thing."

Amado turned to the buffalo, looking at his face silently and nodded. And just like that, the buffalo bowed and turned towards the door to leave, leaving Zephyr and the master alone. The fox placed both elbows on the table, humming with his muzzle behind his clapped paws.

"Good, because I doubt that we can save him at this point, let alone make any use of him."

"Why is that? All we need is a Grim Carrier that killed many with his disease, right? That's exactly what Ramzy is, ain't that right?"

"He's in the final stage."

"... huh?"

"Our lab isn't sure yet, they also noticed strange DNA signs in him that resist The Grim to some degree, and also made it faster somehow."

"Resist and make it faster?"

"But our dear Ramzy isn't the source."

"Someone that the human killed with his disease, then."

"One might think that, but I doubt the disease can 'touch' the source."

"Natural immunity from The Grim! Who could it be?"

"I was hoping you could answer that question for me."

With that sentence, the fox turned his face a bit, looking back at him with one narrow accusing eye. The slacker knew, and it didn't make Amado pleased that Zephyr is still hiding it. The hyena is tricky, he may already know who but is acting otherwise, that thought was highly possible. He turned the chair to face the window, standing up and moving closer to the cold thick glass.

"Enough about it for now, you must have some inquiry to make."

"I do, Master Ama-"

"Zephyr, boy, no need for formalities when we're alone."

"..."

"I know you're far smarter than some goons. What is it, then?"

"You planned this all along, haven't you?"

"I thought it was obvious enough for you; of course I planned for the human to-"

"Not Ramzy, but the crooks."

A thunder strike glimmered at the veil darkness of midnight, and after the crashing sound ended the old trickster turned around slowly, a wide leer printed on his muzzle, feeling joy and pride at his remark.

"What about the crooks... boy?"

"Heh, it was them who played the role of the bait, not Ramzy. Something tells me you knew beforehand that he would be of no use to the project, but taking him away from FEVA was still... worthwhile, shall we say?"

"Quite the bright one, aren't you, boy?"

"Losing a couple of pawns in a plan is common, but I hope we're not just more replaceable pawn pieces to you."

"As long as you know where to stop and protect your king..."

Zephyr's smirk disappeared, both of them glaring at the other in thought. It was a threat, clearly. Everyone in this building is walking the same 'illegal' path, but Amado has the upper hand on all these idiots because he's the only one who's not an idiot, or so thought the hyena. The fox turned again to the window, clearing his throat. He slid the free paw inside his suit's pocket while the other remained rested on his rod, gazing more at the restless sea.

"Zephyr, boy... what am I to you?"

"... the... king piece?"

"Hmm, good answer but let me rephrase that."

The hyena's glare narrowed; he's trying to catch him somewhere. He couldn't win his trust and he's already making him doubtful of his loyalty.

"Your fellow big buffalo said that as long as he's worthy to be my right paw, he has no other desire. What about you?"

A look of surprise printed on the hyena, but quickly vanished inside an evil leer. The ball was on his field if the conversation took that route. The fox thought that this silence was almost proof enough of Zephyr's uncertainty.

"... right... right paw? Pssh~!"

Amado was still looking out the window when the hyena blasted in his usual laughter, but soon turned at him in shock that his laughter just went on and on. The hyena was on the ground by now, it's like he just heard an epic joke for the first time and entered a twirling loop of hysteria.

"That prick said that?! Wow, so dangerously cliché! I wouldn't be surprised now if he tried to kiss your paw."

"Really? Hmm, but I rather liked how he put it."

"Pah-LEASE! That's some big talk from an ant-brain."

"... what about you, boy?"

"Me? I wouldn't want to be the least of a fucking germ from you."

Amado didn't like how that sounded for a minute, it made him think deeply; he didn't take Zephyr for another fool, but he failed to make any sense of this. Jabbing your master in the face and laughing while doing it isn't the best of ways to win their good side, that if you won anything. The hyena stood up again, enjoying the confused but serious gawk from Amado. He grinned at his face and explained.

"I'd rather be apart from my master. So when worst comes to worst, I can be 'discarded' without a freaking thought."

The fox's eyes went wider at those words, but then he closed them and smiled slightly, giving up in consent. Although his intelligence is that of a maniac, this hyena is actually more logical in the way he wants to do things; for a second, he thought that Zephyr is against... 'sacrifices' for the greater good, but it seems he's thinking just the way his master thinks. The hyena's grin widened, his teeth appeared clearly now and his eyes got bigger as well, a crazy laugh made it through before it got caged inside again.

"If it's loyalty, I'm ready to be forgotten for the sake of my master."

+++

The troop kept waiting at the hallway, still feeling bitter for losing the crooks when they were right under their noses. Following one black limo with the sign number MT-3079 felt easy enough at first, until it was a matter of which black limo with the sign number MT-3079 should they follow when there are 10 each going in a different side of the city? It was a lost cause, considering the surprise attack on the station and only one troop after ten fleeing vehicles, clearly planned beforehand. They were waiting impatiently; the high chairman called for a closed meeting, and their team leader, Officer Ray, was summoned as well. They didn't need much to understand these circumstances, it reeked of bad news.

The snare black penguin soon emerged, his blank gaze in his eyes spoke loud enough and his fellow teammates didn't want to press on the matter. Only one lion was clearly upset with the whole thing, and he didn't mind showing it either. None of his associates blamed him though, his argument made sense; calling up for backup was the only good move, but dashing in there - and involving a civilian in the fight - was the meeting's biggest concern. Even if he was the son of Mr. and Mrs. Bosconovitch, two of the best the blues have ever known, priorities and regulations were clear. Not only that, holding one of the thugs in the station without the higher ranks' knowledge put Benjamin in an even weaker position. He had to stay put in there and take the blame for Ramzy's escape, gulping his piece of mind deep down and keeping it to himself.

(You're tempting me to lower your rank, Officer Ray.)

(Calm down, commandant, don't throw all the blame at him. Remember that an attack happened when the prisoner escaped.)

(I agree. But on my side, I see Officer Ray somewhat 'helped' this to happen.)

(Helped?)

(Remember how we lost track of Marcus when it was him that shot the cat in his head? We didn't even find his body.)

(Are you suggesting something, director?)

(... no... not for the time being, forget what I said.)

(...)

(High chairman, sir, what do you think of all this?)

(Hmm.)

The team leader looked long in his subordinates' faces, still his beak zipped, locked with regret and shame. He gave his team a bow full of apology, ending up hurting his bruised tummy as he jolted. Receiving their encouragements and trust in return, he walked away, thinking he didn't deserve such things at the moment.

But that doesn't mean he wasn't thankful for the second chance the high chairman gave him, he only need to keep a closer look at his decisions.

+++

"Is he..."

The silver-manned wolf said nothing to reply on the troubled white bunny, he closed the door of his small house and motioned for everyone to sit and make themselves comfy. Zed and Claus all sat down on a rather aged sofa, Kuma sat on the opposite one on the other side of the table, but the falcon didn't feel like sitting, turning to Silver again and really waiting for an answer this time, putting both his hands inside his jersey's pockets. Understanding the looks on Flok's eyes, the wolf sighed out as he remained standing near his bulky brown-feathered avian friend.

"He's still traumatized."

"... did he say anything?"

"After finally deciding to cool down enough to talk, he didn't respond no matter how many times I tried. But at least he's better now."

Claus drifted his sight from the wolf to his own feet, sulking down in his turn. The bear looked at Silver for a bit, his eyes were worried as he sat on the sofa, and it was his turn to make an inquiry.

"Is Silver ok?"

"Huh? Why are you worried about me?"

"Turbo hurt Silver before, Kuma was-"

"Oh, don't worry about that, Kuma. Turbo's calm now, and I'm just fine."

A moment of quiet made the atmosphere even heavier than it already was, and the wolf turned to a closed door and said nothing, thinking about Turbo who was sitting silently in the kitchen. Flok took a big sigh, then started walking slowly to the kitchen, making the wolf shiver in alarm and quickly hold his arm.

"Woah there, man."

"What? We need to talk to him."

"Believe me, it's not the best time to do that; he needs his space."

"But he-!"

Flok stopped momentarily, seeing the wolf raising a finger in front of his mouth and shushing in whispers. Catching the point, Flok went on again with a lower voice.

"But he must be mistaken."

"..."

"Silver, do you honestly think that Yzmar is a dangerous criminal?"

The wolf remained quiet for awhile, and his paw finally dropped from the falcon's long-sleeved arm. Flok's eyes got wider, not believing that his friend isn't able to answer a simple question that didn't need to be asked.

"Silver... you..."

The wolf made a disturbed face as he walked away and joined the rest, sitting on the blue futon near Kuma.

"I don't know. You were there when the police-"

"Forget the police, what do you think?"

"... we don't know much about him to-"

"We know more than enough!"

Silver remained silent again, not bothering to argue with the falcon, and crossed his arms in front of him with his eyes closed. The falcon's hands turned to fists inside his pockets, anger took the better of him. He turned to the others, hoping that they don't have the same idea.

"What about the rest of you?!"

Zed looked long in the falcon's eyes, but said nothing, waiting for anyone to respond before he does. He looked at Kuma, but the bear wasn't one for such arguments let alone talking his mind freely, he just looked down and with sad half-closed eyes. He turned to Claus, and the rabbit was still staring at his feet, his thoughts so deep he can't be bothered to answer back just yet. Zed turned to Flok and shrugged, not sure how to put it.

"Floky deeeeeear~ I honestly can't believe it myself but..."

Zed suddenly found his beak short in words... with a different meaning other than gratitude. He looked away and fixed the golden-framed monocle in his right eye, baffled himself that he can't decide for sure. It all added up fuel to the falcon's flames.

"... I don't believe you guys, Yzmar is our friend!"

Silver smirked ineptly, correcting him with no intentions to be rude.

"It also appears that his name is Ramzy."

"Ramzy or Shminzy, a friend is STILL a friend!"

If it wasn't for the seriousness of this moment, the wolf would have made a joke out of Shminzy. Silver reached for his glass on the table calmly, finally making one of the glasses look different by having less grape juice in it than the rest. He placed one foot on the other, feeling free about it since it's his house, then scratched his head a bit.

"Listen, Flok, it's not about us not siding with you."

"Then what?"

"Look, we're Ramzy's... ok fine, we're Yzmar's friends too, but the shock was so sudden we-"

"Nonsense!"

"Dude, control yourself and keep it down, alright? I won't remind you again."

Flok moved from behind the couch and stood at the empty end of the table, allowing himself to see the wolf in the face and be seen by him.

"All of us saw the simplicity of that human with our own eyes, Silver. He's an ill-fortuned person with a disease that threatens his very existence, a target for bullies-furry bullies, and-"

Silver finally stood up, snapping in his turn at his friend's ignorance. The last few words felt almost like a bash intended at his face for what he did to the human.

"Flok, shut up for a moment and hear me out, alright?"

"..."

"We're his friends, all of us. As much as you believe in Yzmar, trust me, we do want to. But we can't right now; things are confusing, we only knew him for a short while but-"

"Are you doubting him?! Did he ever-"

"Flok, bite your fucking tongue with your fucking toothless beak and listen."

"... it's hard."

Both Silver and Flok got their voices caged by those small weak words, they came out of their red-eyed friend, still checking out his feet. The owl kept staring silently at Claus, not pleased with how they seem to be out of their characters all of a sudden. He placed a wing on the rabbit's shoulder, feeling the need to comfort the whole group but not knowing how. Flok's attention changed from Silver to Claus as he took his hands out of his pockets, revealing his feathery strong fists.

"What... do you mean by hard?"

"I don't know... this situation... I don't like it."

"Yzmar is our friend, man! Don't let this wolf confuse you."

Silver shrugged, rolling his eyes up.

"But why did it turn out like this?"

"There must be a mistake somewhere, Claus."

The rabbit shivered slightly, realizing the horror of his words as they came out.

"How can you be so... sure..."

"... what?"

The rabbit closed his eyes firmly, his head still bowing and his paws gripping on his knees. Silver sighed with effort and sat down again, that's exactly the thing that he wanted Flok to understand, but looks like hearing it from another one did the trick at least. He sensed the falcon's unwavering denial, but he couldn't go on at the sight of that shaky rabbit since he was rather sensitive. The wolf's voice brought Flok's mind back to him, turning to Silver in response.

"He's right, Flok. You, me, Claus, we are all his friends. But we knew Yzmar for how long now? Ten days? Fifteen? It wasn't even a month. And this talk about the letter he wrote to terminate his contract with the factory doesn't make it any better. As I said, the confusion is a bit much right now, and we're just his friends..."

He paused, then turned to the closed door again, and went on.

"Imagine how preoccupied Turbo must be if we are out of our cool."

Flok felt his own self eating him from the inside, anger is starting to delude him, the idea of throwing a punch at that wolf is starting to get more and more appealing, and it was at times like these that drugs felt the best possible runaway point. But at the same time, he didn't know that he was sympathizing with Yzmar the most since he himself was once on that same dark and filthy road. Flok was just a step away from the hill before he could finally open his eyes and step back, changing his life routine to exclude the deadly drugs he used to take. He grunted, turned around and sighed.

"Claus, if you want to stay longer here, then have Kuma drive you back."

The hare finally raised his head, staring at his friend's back.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"I feel the need to run some laps, I'm heading to the park."

The falcon stood silent a moment at the door, not reaching for the handle yet. He sighed again and turned to them all.

"Sitting here with gloomy faces isn't going to help. I can't be here if you guys act like this, I can't stomach this. We need to cool our heads."

Claus and Silver didn't reply back at Flok, realizing deep in their hearts that it was the best thing to do. It was then that Zed stood up, cheery all over again and held his fists close to his chest in joy.

"Floky is right, everywaaaaan~"

"Zed?"

"Getting down will only make us feel baaaaaaaaad~ thinking about it a lot like this is just going through zirclezzzzzzz~"

He closed his eyes bashfully, finally happy again to regain his mood back. He hopped in his spot several times, and his monocle dropped off his eye and kept jiggling in its golden chain with every gleeful jump.

"It's at times like these that we need joyz and happy thoughtz the mooooooost~"

Everyone looked at him in astonishment, the ability of this guy in forgetting all bad things and replace them with smiles and jokes baffled them all. The wolf took a quiet glance at him, then closed his eyes with a smirk on his snout, chuckling calmly and quietly at his friend's out-of-the-box attitude.

"Honestly, Zed... despite all your silly speeches, I do really like you sometimes."

The owl looked Silver in the eyes in shock, shivering in silence that made the wolf open his eyes again and wonder at his strange reaction. Zed instantly turned to Claus and managed in a low voice.

"I... I think he just..."

"Huh?"

Claus looked back at the owl, puzzled just as much as Silver, but soon the wolf felt awkward when Zed glanced at him with cowering flushes.

"... I, uhh... phew, this is all so sudden, Sylvie, I don't know what to say."

"What?! Hey... hey, what's with you? What did I say?"

Zed moved close in quick steps, taking the wolf off-guard as he took his paw with two feathery hands and smiled in his face, still blushing.

"This means much... it really does, Sylvie... thank you."

"What the?!"

The wolf stood up, trying to pull his paw away or push him back, but the accursed owl was insistent, making Silver angrier by the second. Or, at least, that's what Flok and Claus thought since the wolf's face turned red too.

"What did I say? S-stop pulling-"

"Sylvieeeeeee~"

"Stop calling me that! Let go!"

"I acceeeeeeeeeeept~ now please hurry up and give me a ki-"

The wolf's face turned a bit rosy, he pushed the owl off and snarled, unable to keep it down anymore.

"JUST WHAT THE BLAZES ARE YOU ACCEPTING, STUPID ORLY OWL? I SAID NOTHING!!"

"But you conf-"

"I DID NO SUCH THING!"

"ORLY!? But you're turning reeeeeed~"

"IT'S FROM ANGER, YOU BASTARD!"

"... ORLY!?"

"SHUT UP!"

"ORLY!?"

"C'MERE, YOU!! STOP RIGHT THERE! I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE!"

There it was, like two relatives playing hide and go seek. Just when Silver thought that the owl could actually sound like a 'wise' guy as usually resembled by his race's figure, Zed succeeds in destroying that thought in mere seconds. Flok sighed at the sight, but soon a smile on his face appeared; things are becoming normal again.

+++

"Will he be alright?"

"Don't worry, I'll be looking after him; that's what friends do."

"Alright, I'll be checking with the police regularly, see if they find anything new about Yzmar."

"..."

"That's what friends do, right?"

"Heh... yeah. Thanks, Flok."

The wolf closed the door, and as soon as he did, his smile disappeared to be replaced with a serious gawk at his paw closing the door. He volunteered to keep an eye on him since Claus is still living with his adopters, Flok not being that good with hospitalities based on first-hand experience, and the other two not being that reliable either. But it made him a little edgy; he always was the lone wolf that liked to walk his road alone, he himself isn't much of a refuge but he's the best option from the rest. He went to the table, but stopped and fixed his eyes on the glasses.

(Are you doubting him?!)

(Silver, we're friends now, are we not?)

(The more time I spend with you the more I...)

The wolf soon bent down, gathering all the untouched glasses in a plate, then pushed the door with his back, walking inside the kitchen. Turbo was the way he left him, sitting at the kitchen's chair near an oak table, only wearing shorts, spacing out and having several bandages around him in many places like a mummy, messing up his fur a little. The dressing grew a bit stiff on his stomach and chest for being on him for too long, but he still didn't bother with them enough to remove them; the mental stress was worse.

The tiger didn't notice the wolf coming in, going around the table and attending to the juice to clean the glasses. His mind was swarming elsewhere, part of it pissed off that he lost to someone who was already shot in his hoofed foot. The blasted herb-lover didn't show any signs of pain no matter how many blows Turbo delivered. He was able to block most of them, but the landed ones didn't cause him the least of a twitch. It took only one miscalculated blow to his stomach to change the flow of the fight upside down. He just dropped there in the alley, getting his balls kicked with a leg bleeding from a gunshot.

"You ok there, bro?"

Turbo's stare broke from the floor and turned to the wolf, who was standing near his fridge with a beer can, and realizing that there was another one put near his arm on the table. He stared at it for good 5 seconds before it hissed in his paw when it got opened.

"Why didn't you want to see them? They were worried, even that penguin cop came by four times now to check on you, but I had to turn him down just like you wanted."

He chugged one-third in one go, but his mind was still awake and thinking, it annoyed him more and he went for another chug, only stopping after one small sip to catch his breath. The wolf dragged another chair to face him as he sat down, eyeing him closely and being fully alarmed, knowing that he shouldn't add any inquiry about not showing up at work. It puzzled the tiger a bit, he closed his eyes and sighed out loudly, getting his mind to stop thinking for now.

"Why so tensed?"

"Well, let's see... when I picked you up from the station - same goes for the past three days until very recently - you weren't so... social-able?"

"... I was a bit over the edge."

Silver felt a sarcastic smile showing in his own muzzle, but trying to hide it won't really be of help. He went on and let his tongue speak of his mind while he was at it.

"Just a bit... I see."

Turbo brought the beer can back to his sight, tilting it around as if examining it for the first time. A stupid pork caricature was drawn on it, he didn't like this brand much, but beggars can't be choosers; a beer is a beer anyway. They all seem to do the most wanted effect the more you wolf inside.

"Is it really true?"

True? What was true and what wasn't? History is repeating itself, another candidate that turned out to be like Marcus. Another person he finds himself head-over-heels in love with and turns out to be a two-faced criminal. Why? The tiger tried to ignore that question, but it really almost ticked him off when his circle ears caught that inquiry again.

"Is Ramzy-"

"Shit, man, the guy was my fucking mate! I'm the first person in Velencia and out that should stand for him, and I already feel like nothing would satisfy me more than his bloody lifeless corpse!"

"..."

"I want to forget about it for the time being, I'm so uptight with the whole thing and my head hurts from thinking too much."

"You? Think? That's new."

"Do yourself a favor and don't piss me off."

"Talk about bad-tempered... did you sleep last night?"

"... *sigh~*"

"Dude, you were up for three days now, you better try and chill, alright?"

Turbo put on a forced smile, not knowing for sure if the wolf near him was being concerned or just acting plain cool. He raised his can to his muzzle again, chugged a bit and allowed himself to burp without shame.

"I think a couple of these would fix me up."

"Always the drunkard bastard, huh?"

"Says the only wolf 'bastard' that beats me in drinking games."

"Been awhile since we last did, though."

"... that almost sounded like a challenge to me."

"It is."

The wolf pointed at the table with his left thumb, glancing at the sets of cans he placed on it. He already arranged for such a contest, just like the old times when Turbo used to drop by his place after knowing one another at the factory.

"But are you game? Or is the big kitteh too old for that now?"

They both eyed each others with a smirk, then a burst of laughter took over them. And they kept drinking and drinking, it somehow increases one's limit just by having someone else to drink with. One small can of beer wasn't near enough for the two, and it didn't take that long before it turned into a challenge of chilly smashed fools.

+++

Speaking of chilly, the harbor was chilly too...

The lack of buildings around the place made it easier for the wind to blow as it wanted, and the shut warehouses gathered long-lasting dust on their shutters, apparently not used for ages. A number of ships were docked there, but it was only on rare occasions did any of them leave that ghost town of a wharf.

Ramzy was in his room, staring outside at the whole scene, his eyes missing the birds and seagulls that he loved to observe most of his time. It was dark because of the constantly-covered-up sky; Winter was glaring down on this side of the planet with no joke, especially in the city. It's a harsh season of heavy rains almost everyday, and sometimes it would continue through the night.

Although the window was closed, a chilling wave jolted inside his body, making him raise his hands to his elbows and rub along all the way to his shoulders and back repeatedly. A warm hug used to protect him from this feeling, familiar heartbeats used to pat on his back to calm him, strong arms used to round themselves to his front to keep him close, and a steady airflow brushing at his head used to remind him that he's not alone anymore. The pain these small thoughts brought was strange, he never knew such aching sorrow before, it felt like his body was present but his own self was somewhere else, apart, lost, missing...

"Gone..."

Yes, that's the word his mind was looking for. His face was still as hollow, only his lips moved to remind him of his current life state: gone. Just like them seagulls; they disappeared from the skies once the storm drew near. Where? Irrelevant, it could be anywhere, just not here.

His heart questioned yet again why he allowed his feet to follow this path after years of avoiding it, but at the same time his heart held no other alternatives. It's just like questioning why anyone would choose one soccer ball over the other when they are all the same, there's no reason, it was a choice, and it didn't matter which one to pick. He stood up weakly, walking to his room's door, needing to go elsewhere... nowhere in particular, just somewhere else.

Ramzy glared at the thugs he was finally part of. They weren't exactly the same like before, but nothing changed, a lot of pointless subjects and endless card games to pass time. Nothing to do other than eat, drink, get drunk, fuck, sleep and break the law. Except for him when he was small, he ate and slept alright, with sobs filling his eyes and being, but had the addition of being their toy. Some who still remembered him gave him a nostalgic look as he walked through them, others were still doubtful, their small heads prevented them to acknowledge him as a person that's worth their effort to obtain.

"Hey human dork."

A yellow-furred-blue-dotted jaguar stood in the feeble figure's way, a look of uncertainty filled the guy's face. His anger rose higher when the human didn't stop going forward, ending up bumping at him. That bump was enough for Ramzy to realize that someone was there, he couldn't even ask or know who it was before he felt a clawed hand locking at his neck and forcing his head up a little.

"I'm talking to you here, daydreamer."

Ramzy was still silent, his gaze landed on the jaguar alright, but only his gaze. Words were there, he can make some words being said, but he wasn't sure who, nor did he find them clear in his ears, it didn't matter much. Just words, and then more words, and then the words after that got higher in volume and tenor, there was clear anger, and then no words anymore... just a violent throw that dropped him to the floor on his back.

"YOU FUCKING WITH ME, RUNT?"

Runt, that word was - somehow - clear enough for him to understand. Runt... yes, in other words small, in other words weak, in other words fragile, loser, failure, hopeless, him. And it just went on and on, the voices. Hunting him from many years ago, he can make their voices clearly again, cursing and shouting at him with every thrust, demanding he stop crying and ordering him to enjoy it.

Maybe that's why he chose to come back...

He thought he can run away and change his life, he found another, with the help of great people, but he lost it all in one unforgiving encounter. He knew nothing but his older self, life was a scary thing and he didn't want to wander around aimlessly again trying to find another. At least, back here, he's familiar with the pain, he can handle it, he can just... cage it in as long as it stops to physical pain. The jaguar was steaming by now; a strange smile was printed on Ramzy's face due to his thoughts.

The hyena was observing the whole ordeal quietly, crossing his arms and supporting one foot to the wall as he bent his back on it. He didn't really care that much about these guys, maybe it was a better idea to make the whole pack of dogs better acquainted with the timed bomb they have.

The thug was about to fancy teaching him a lesson, but actually had to give it another thought when the buffalo came in his face, looking at him with narrow threatening gawks.

"Enough, leave him."

"Wha-?"

The buffalo felt like he said too much already; he turned around and kneeled, extending his arm to the human who was still down. He helped him up and - in front of many speechless faces - guided the human away. A lot of them returned to their prattle, discussing how they heard the brute's voice for the very first time, literarily.

Ramzy's mind suddenly started working again, feeling another person walking him away, reminding him of the one who was once by his side even when he didn't ask for it. His body moved on its own, pushing the buffalo away gently, receiving a strange look from him.

"Let go."

"..."

"I don't need help from anyone, don't butt in."

"... where?"

"Where I go is my own damn business. Don't follow me."

The buffalo stood there with curiosity by his side instead of the human, and watched his back until he turned towards the steps to the upper floor. The human's mind returned once again with its own voice.

'I see you learn from your mistakes.'

"..."

'That's right, Ramzy, they are all like that. They will come to you because of something THEY want, it's always them, them and fucking them alone. They never cared for you for even a minute. It's about time you take hold of your own destiny.'

"And what's that? Dying?"

'...'

"... you talk big, Brain, but that's all you do; talk big_._"

The buffalo turned around, sighing out. He was about to return to his room when he saw Zephyr eyeing him with a strange bully smile. The hyena stepped closer, and stopped just when they were shoulder-to-shoulder. Both of them didn't see the other's face, staying like that as the hyena started to share his mind with his friend.

"Ohooo~ Is the high-and-mighty brute showing some soft spots lately?"

"... be clear, you want to die?"

"Nope, just an advice: Don't feel the way you feel right now."

The big beast turned to Zephyr with eyes of a predator, anger burning faster than a train would do to a bucketful of coal. His gaze was never returned from the smaller guy, still looking away from him in thought.

"I said be clear. What do you mean?"

"Exactly how it sounds. Yours isn't genuine, it's been modified in its early stage hence the abnormality of losing the physical touch sense first, which happens to be the last sense The Grim takes away."

"What do you even know, chuckles?"

"Quite a bit, brute. But to make it short, Ramzy is different from you, so don't act like you're familiar with his pain, because you're not."

The hyena was, all the while, looking forward, ignoring the buffalo's stare. His face was serious, his voice was just as stern. Zephyr wasn't fucking around like his usual nature. He began walking again, following with slow steps after the human and taking the stairs up. The buffalo still didn't move, bothered by his words greatly.

(... don't act like you're familiar with his pain...)

He sulked down, his right arm suddenly jerked a bit, vibrating. He looked at his fist and opened it, noticing some blood marks in his hand. It appears his fist was too tight it bled just by closing. He kept looking at the small wound marks, there was no pain, no physical pain at all. The hyena was right after all, but it wasn't just pain that his 'modified' illness took away.

'You ignorant pesky fuck... do you even realize how painful it is not to feel anyone's touch or care anymore? How painful it is when you kiss and not feel the other in your mouth? How you bond with someone and...'

He stopped... realizing that going about his 'mental' pain would do him nothing but misery all over again. His mind returned on its track; if he was destined to forget those little pleasurable things, so be it, he'll just do what he can.

He'll be his right hand... always close.

+++

"Damn you, *burp~* dog-like canines..."

"... heh, love them growls of losers."

"Is there a fucki-*hic~*... black hole in your bodies or what? *Burp~* how can you d... driiiink that muuuush... *hic~*..."

The wolf was supporting his friend by taking his left arm and rounding it behind his neck, he walked with him across the living room and to the stairs, taking careful but heavy steps one after the other. He turned to Turbo and smiled evilly, enjoying his victory once again.

"Stupid... *hic~* long-muzzled bushy-tailed~"

"Hey, watch it; a canine is helping you right now, you sure you want to badmouth him at your current state?"

"What can this-*hic~* pussy of a canine do to me?"

"I dunno, maybe accidentally let go of you on the stairs?"

"You wouldn't... daaaaaare~"

The wolf smirked, easing up on his friend's arm while still supporting his back with the other. But the feeling of his paw letting go just a little made Turbo panic and reach with his right arm to Silver's shoulder.

"Hey he-*hic~*-eeeeey, I was kidding, d-don't be mean."

Silver smiled softly now, this guy is just very comical. Turbo is the bulkiest in the group, but when it comes to drinking he's hardly a challenge to the wolf. He is such an innocent fool once he gets smashed like that, always 'needed' someone to help him out on things whenever he reached that point.

Finally at the upper floor, the wolf guided his deluded tiger to the bathroom, getting a strange goofy look from him.

"Say... where... where are you taking meeeeeee?"

"If you haven't noticed so far, your bandages stink; the dressing was on you for three days now, not to mention your lack of a proper bath."

"I can't... *hic~* take a bath like this; I could... droooooooown."

"That's why I'll have to give a paw, you can't possibly overlook attending to your fur any longer than this."

The tiger's mind was too fuzzy to actually get embarrassed at the idea, his head was fighting against this woozy feeling, wanting to just crash at the nearest bed, or anything close to that. Seconds later, the tiger was made to sit on a small wooden chair, nearly squatting all the way down since it was a bit too small for him. Silver took off his own shirt and hanged it at the door, not wanting it to get wet. He put his paws on his hips and stood in front of his friend, tapping his foot several times.

"You gunna sit there forever?"

"... h-*hic~*... huh?"

"Remove your shorts already."

"I have no bandages under-*hic~* there."

Silver almost made a smacking sound by his paw crushing at his face, it nearly itched too. The tiger only drank seven cans; only seven, he remembers his record to be more near the eleventh can. Looks like he stopped drinking that much for awhile to be this rummy. Silver himself drank to the seventh too, but he was still half-drunk, his mind was sober enough to think and act on its own. Even his belches were low and quiet, but Turbo seems already drunk to boots.

"I said you needed a bath too, remember?"

"... oh... *burp~* that's right."

The tiger grunted, not wanting to move much but not really having a say in the matter, not that he was sober enough to think on his own anyway. He removed his shorts and was about to go to the boxers too.

"H-Hey! Keep that on!"

"... what? Why?"

Silver flushed at the stupid question, feeling the need to remind himself that he's dealing with a drunk Turbo right now. He was embarrassed to actually have to help him bathe, although part of him didn't mind the idea-the drunken part. But more importantly worried about himself should the tiger enter another rampage frenzy like the past few days.

"Just... just listen to me, ok? Leave that for now."

The tiger let out another loud hiccup, and drowsed down in a nod, his mind leaving the wolf in charge for now. Working off those wraps uncovered the shapeless fur under it, appearing even worse than the rest of his body in the wolf's eyes. He trashed that thought and took a closer look at his wounds. They didn't seem that serious, mostly just bruises and scratches; this tiger's body is insanely strong. They were naturally healing fine by now, and some of them disappeared already.

"Looks like I won't have to dress them again, that's good."

"Should I-*burp~* strip my boxers off now?"

Silver gulped hard at his use of words, but his face didn't show any objection to the question now. He stood behind him and got down, helping him out since Turbo can't even take off his undies alone. It took seconds for the bathroom to get steamy, the tiger just sat there with cyclones up his skull while Silver detached the shower's handset from its stand and rinsed the fur on his back with hot streams. He started from the tiger's head, receiving a tense reaction that eased rather quickly.

"Purrrr~ This feels... good."

"I know I wouldn't last three days without a bath unless I go nuts."

"You're... really good at this."

"... it's just a bath; if I can't do this, I must be an ass."

(Quick note from the author: no offense intended to our lovely donkey furs.)

( -_-) (^_^;)

He worked over his fur carefully with a sponge in his other paw, amazed at the sudden change of the pelt as it got back to life. It's smoother now, and the orange glittery tint returned. He worked at his back, down his tail and to the tip, his rumps, his arms, his shoulders... and soon decided it was time to move to the front.

The tiger's face was still somewhere else when Silver moved and faced him, the wolf said nothing, but Turbo had this strange look in his face. It was more like... regret, or... it was weird, Silver never saw him like this before, but he didn't take much time to understand the poor guy's situation. He was still drunk, sighing soundly with every part Silver attends to.

He knelt down between his squatting legs, and pushed lightly at his chest to get a better look at his front. Turbo's eyesight turned from void to the wolf's face, observing how his friend kept rubbing that sponge on his body to take care of it in his place. His eyes moved to the wolf's naked chest. There were cuts and wounds there... why was Silver injured? His eyes drifted back to Silver's eyes, a silent question written in his yellow eyeballs, but Silver never met them, even though he realized that the big fellow is waiting to get their eyes met at that moment. His sponge went around the bends of his firm muscles, pectorals (and the sensitive bits in them), torso, hips, knees, legs, and feet.

It was rather obvious why he ignored the groin area and didn't wander much on both thighs. Turbo could even catch the wolf's jerks in his eyes to glance at that tip erecting a bit by the lovely feeling of wet spongy rubs. It was an awkward moment, and he could detect the same feelings from the slight blush on Silver's face while trying to keep his attention to cleaning up his fur. But something about the wolf's eyes made Turbo puzzled, it's as if the wolf was burdened by such things, trying to finish up in a haste. Alas, his foggy mind didn't allow him to think beyond.

Minutes later, the wolf handed him the handset and looked up at his face as he did.

"You sobered up yet?"

"... *hic~*... a bit."

"Good, then I'll leave you to finish with the rest."

"... ok."

The wolf got up, taking his shirt from the door's small hanger.

"Keep the door unlocked just in case, I won't step in until you finish. I left a towel, take all the time you need, and use the toilet if you need to. Try to have some shut-eye afterwards."

The wolf soon left, closing the door behind him, leaving a spaced-out tiger who kept the stream hitting the middle of his chest and slipping down to his groin. The feeling of the hot water hitting his fur was so welcomed and kind, it... it reminded him of...

'... why, Ramzy? Why do I keep thinking about you?'

Just saying his name made him glance down in surprise at his erection, it got out more, his mind remembering that other body his own used to like, his paws still craved to touch and brush against his skin, and his claws wanting to scratch at him to enjoy his feeble bullied reaction. But that made the tiger somewhat furious again, gripping at the iron in his paw strongly, disgusted that his body is still thinking of him.

'Why do I still feel like this when he... when he killed...'

He let go of the sponge and rubbed his closed eyes, the fogginess that increased was simply some tears forming up. Wanting to kick his picture from his mind, his 'closed eyes' showed him Silver again, and his mind remembered his face as he worked on cleaning his body. He shook his head as it was trying to think again, and went about washing the places that the wolf felt too gauche to do it for him.

It felt like the only thing a drunkard can do at this point.

+++

The wind was strong in the bare roof of the building, it was impossible to tell the time of day by looking at the sky; the clouds didn't give the sky any spot to peak from, anyway. There was rain, but it was gentle, soft and separated dots. Even the heavens ran out of tears.

Surprisingly enough, there were a couple of seagulls visible now, flying over the dead harbor in search for something. Just their sight made that human loses the track of time to the wind, just sitting there and having a lengthy stare at the way they fly. It was difficult, but they had to twirl many times to avoid the dashing wind courses.

He dropped his eyes to the phone he had in his right hand, the screen showed Turbo looking at the phone's camera and smiling bashfully. It gave the impression that he took it himself; the angles of the snapshot were not even and his face was a little to the right upper corner.

"Don't bother."

Ramzy turned back, looking at the hyena that just came out from behind. These guys seem to enjoy his company for some reason, but he sure could do without them. Zephyr came closer, smiling with eyes closed like best buddies, and sat a little far from him, extending his feet in front of him and dropping his chest back a little, supported by both paws on the ground.

"It took a little bit of tampering with the settings. This phone does not make calls nor does it catch them, and does not send short messages nor does it receive them... and don't try to access the settings anymore, I placed a pass code."

The human didn't even care to reply, he cringed and a small groan escaped his lips. His free hand went automatically to his chest and pressed once more at the pain. His half-open eyes began to make someone else with them, a black tall figure, with a cape that has seen better days. The hyena doesn't seem to be aware of his existence, it reassured Ramzy that this is just his imagination again.

The figure vanished as Zephyr walked through it, kneeling down near him and offering that mysterious liquid. His face was a bit cold as the human snatched the small bottle from his hand and took a quick sip.

"Guess it really hurts, doesn't it?"

Ramzy ignored that comment too, sitting there and catching his breath. He looked long in the green potion, hating the thought that he started relying on it to ease his pain a little, feeling another surge of mental pain; his body still remembered who did that job for him before. The hyena stared up a little, and smiled.

"Woah, there are still a couple of 'em birdies up there."

"..."

"Wonder where the rest are."

It was rather upsetting for the human; the hyena is fully aware, like everyone else, of the very unpleasant encounters these bastards had with him for the past couple of weeks. And now, this guy here, acting all friendly...

"Guess those two don't know what's best for them, eh?"

Ramzy didn't respond back, he placed the bottle near him and his stare returned to the phone. He kept wondering why Zephyr would sit here and chat, or more importantly...

"... what's wrong? You're one of us now, can't we talk normally?"

"Why are you here? I wish to be alone."

"But you hate being alone."

"..."

"Yup, I know I'm right."

The hyena took the bottle back and stood up again, stretching naively and glancing down on him. He looked more at the two seagulls rounding about the place, giving him some time to think.

"By the way, like I said before, keep it a secret. They still think you don't know anything about the project, so keep it that way."

"Zephyr, tell me honestly, why did you give me the phone back?"

"... other than to use it?"

"You already rendered it useless."

"Communicating isn't the only function in that phone."

"You're strange, you don't seem to be following the fox on occasions."

"I'm a faithful servant of my master. I brought you here to him, didn't I?"

"Zephyr, don't play games."

"I already told you why."

"Huh?!"

A laugh forced itself out from the hyena, but this one wasn't strong, it was clear that he didn't want to spit it out. He calmly placed his paws in his pockets as he walked away, returning to the stairs.

"We'll talk later."

"Zephyr, what are you planning?!"

"*Grin~* Ta-ta."

Ramzy didn't move from his spot, trying to persuade him wasn't going to work. Zephyr seems to know exactly when to show up to give him another sip without anyone noticing. It troubled the human greatly that he seems devious yet strangely cooperative.

He stared long at the phone; that gullible smile, he couldn't believe how much he missed him. His fingers moved lightly on the buttons, having a doubt that it was just for the sake of killing time. There was a reason, he could almost hear it from him, but Zephyr didn't want to say it. But there was a good chance his answer is in the phone itself.

Messages? Nothing. Call History? Just the couple few calls he made and received from... him... back when they were still together.

'You still long for him, don't you?'

"..."

'I don't like that silence.'

"Whatever."

'You stupid junk, he hates you now, he found everything out and you just happen to be his father's murderer. There's no chance, face it.'

He kept checking more, overlooking his mind's logical analysis. Gallery? No, it's empty. Contact List, maybe? Only their numbers, plus FEVA and Ix. Calendar? No luck there either. Notes? Folders? Applications? Anything?!

His eyes got tired now, and he started looking aimlessly around the different categories of the phone. He entered the Settings, and the phone immediately asked for a code. He glared at the screen for a second then wrote Zephyr. Incorrect glimmered twice and the damned screen returned. Unseen, nope didn't work either. He sighed in disturbance and wrote Grim, but even that wasn't the right code.

Finally giving up, he lingered in the Phone's Profile, and the name of the phone showed Yzmar. He read the name slowly, then soon clicked on Edit, and reversed the letters back to Ramzy. He was Ramzy now, the thug that didn't like it here, the one that ran away, and then fell foolishly in love just to get chained in his spot and get caught this time. Yzmar was no more, he wasn't the child that kept using his knowledge in cooking for those crooks in a noodle restaurant so he can cover his school expenses, he wasn't the young man that started taking engineering as a career once The Unseen began following his trail...

He was no longer an employee in FEVA...

+++

Silver got out of the bathroom in the ground floor, wearing a long white robe as his fur was still a bit wet. He never did dry his fur completely, liking the feeling of water on him as it dried off slowly with time.

He fastened the robe and left his used clothes in the bathroom for now, going up the stairs to check on his friend. The door of the room was open, he stepped in and stopped at the doorframe as he can't make the sound of water anymore. The bathroom's door was left open, and the tiger was lying on his back over the blue bed sheets naked, his left arm rested over his face and covered his eyes, clearly feeling a strong daze; his mind must be fighting to get sober. Silver sighed quietly to himself; the tiger will finally get some rest. A smile printed on his face; the plan of getting him drunk was a success, and Turbo won't be able to stay awake for long.

"You asleep, dude?"

The tiger didn't move, nor did he respond. Silver sighed again in satisfaction, then walked to his wardrobe to the side of the bed. The wooden door of the cupboard creaked a bit as the wolf reached inside. He'll just have to spend the night on a living room's couch, it can't be that bad to sleep on a couch, can it?

"Silver?"

The wolf felt his heart leap to his neck, shocked by his own organs. He had to gulp it back quickly and turn with a troubled smile.

"Y-You scared me, man."

"... I... just dozed off..."

"I'm getting some clothes and I'll leave."

"..."

"Sorry but I don't think I have anything that fits you."

He turned his attention back to the hanged pajamas, and couldn't stop this strange feeling that he's being intensively watched by Turbo. A minute later, the bed creaked in its turn as Turbo stood and reached for the wolf's robe, over Silver's right shoulder.

His paw wasn't heavy, nor was it a simple pat... it was gentle... strange. The wolf quickly reacted, hitting his arm away and taking a step back in confusion.

"W... what are you doing?"

"Before, I saw... wounds..."

"... hey, just get back to sleep."

The tiger moved closer again, holding both Silver's shoulders and looking down at his eyes. The canine's body jumped back, but quickly held by the tiger's paws again. Those paws were insistent, holding him in place strongly this time until they felt the wolf finally settling down. They moved closer to his bare neck, brushing his fur as they slid under the robe and began stripping the upper part off while leaving the robe fastened.

Silver sighed as he looked away, knowing that he has to have it his way. He didn't want him to see, but Turbo was sober a bit even though he can still tell that the tiger was affected by the beer. The big cat almost whined like a dog at the looks of those claw marks. His ears turned back, identifying the owner of those injuries on the spot.

"I..."

"... cheh."

"Damn it, I did this... these are..."

"Get some sleep, man."

His head was still fuzzed up, but he could remember a little bit of what happened. He was found by the police injured in that alley, the damned buffalo trashed him and left. And after getting decent medication in the station Silver came to pick him up, ending up trying to calm his fury.

He seems to remember fighting with him in this very house, he still can't remember why. The wolf was trying his best not to hurt him even in his uncontrollable state, he tried to restrain him when he took those swipes... he can't seem to remember how it ended.

Silver moved away, fixing his robe in silence while the tiger froze in his spot. Turbo took a step back and sat on the bed, holding his head. The wolf took a quick glance at him, not sure if that was out of shame or dizziness, he didn't even feel like taking anything from the closet now, and turned to the door to leave.

"I didn't know."

The wolf stopped, part of him wanted to give his friend some space to recover, but his ears perked up, fully alarmed.

"That look in the bathroom..."

"Huh?"

Silver suddenly found the tiger behind him, forcing him to turn and face him. His eyes were hurt, feeling regret.

"Turbo... wait..."

"All along."

"..."

"Your actions, trying not to hurt me, even now... and those eyes, I see it clearly."

The wolf's ears went lower, a little afraid of where this might lead.

"Turbo, you're still drunk, you don't know what you're d-!!"

The wolf shuddered in shock, the orange paws pulled at him strongly, and his oral cavity got filled with an intruder instead of words. It was a long smooch, and the high tiger was closing his eyes, feeling around his mouth's walls. Silver's face revolted in disgust, he can taste the beer in his drool still. His arms pushed, but it didn't work, they pushed again, and again, but Turbo's body wasn't giving in.

The wet kiss broke, and the wolf had time enough to catch his breath, but only his breath. His words got cut short before they even make it out as he couldn't feel the ground under his feet, flailed onto the bed with a giant pinning his body over him. In comparison with this buffed hulk, the wolf's body was nothing of a challenge.

"Turbo, *gasp~* h-hold on!"

"... you're cute when you blush."

The wolf closed his eyes strongly in shame, his arms returned their futile attempts to push him away. It worked a bit, making the tiger raise his body a little in confusion as the wolf turned on his stomach to crawl to the other side of the bed. He thought he finally escaped him, but the only thing escaped was a yelp, he got pinned down again before his chest reaches the edge of the bed. He turned behind him in fear, looking at his clouded friend lying his heavy body over him.

"T-Turbo! Turbo, snap out of it!"

"You want this too, don't you?"

"What?!"

"I can see it, man, I..."

The tiger wormed his arms around Silver's torso, forcing them under his body and reaching with his right paw to his muscled flat chest, digging under his fur. A gasp replied to his actions, and then heavy heaves resonated as the wolf sprang his arms to the bed's edge, wanting to force his way out.

"Silver... I can feel it, I can sense it in you."

Silver's face burned red, his eyes shut tight at a tiger paw roaming under his robe. His tail base was in pain for being crushed unexpectedly, but his brain didn't bother with that little detail; right now, there was greater danger that needs to be dealt with. Silver turned his upper body a bit to the right, reaching with his right paw at the tiger's arm, trying to pull it out from his robe.

"Damn it, Turbo! Get, off, me!"

"... you'd deny it too, Silver?"

The wolf stammered, feeling his own heart being read out loud for him. He shook his head to stay focused, he doesn't want it like this. Not like this! But his mind and body wanted it, as twisted as it might sound they didn't care, they wanted this.

He can feel the tiger repositioning himself to more comfortable ways, his paw retreated after playing a bit with his fur-coated nipples, and his other paw helped out in raising his body up with his knees, looking down at him wearing a messed-up robe. Silver didn't move, even though the weight removed itself from him, he simply lied there. Was it fatigue? Was it ecstasy? Shock? Paralysis? His face was turned to the right, his muzzle opened, panting, and his right eye looked away, mortified with embarrassment, the red blush can be clearly seen under his furry cheeks.

His tail jerked so suddenly, relieved to be free again, and simply laid itself sideways. His ears flat with his head, his paws grasping the sheets firmly, his eyes closed in defeat and his breather got calmer. He sensed movements from Turbo, and soon the cat's muzzle got down and bit lightly at his ear, making him whimper quietly. Then his scurfy tongue licked along its pointy shape, getting inside it a bit and toying with it.

"You didn't deny it..."

The wolf didn't feel able to say anything, he knows it's wrong, but he can't help it, Guilt is a bitch. He gulped that Guilt hard before he managed to say in a low voice.

"J... Just this once."

As soon as those words have been said, Silver felt his body pressed down on the bed gently; the tiger above him lied back on him and brought his head to the right facing him. He locked his muzzle with him again, worming his arms under his friend a second time to sense his chest, slowly and gradually removing his robe and untying the rope.

It wasn't intimate much, it felt to the wolf that Turbo only thought of a hole, in search of a cavity to attend to his rod. His still wet fur helped the tiger's member to get silky a bit as he rubbed it between his crack. The tiger quickly entered, forcefully and impatiently, making the wolf yelp in pain as he shifted his butt around and raised his tail. The yelps got engulfed quickly inside the tiger's muzzle, and his commanding hinds kept retreating just to bash again downward and inward, giving him a hard missionary without any warm-ups or adjustments.

The damp fur helped the tiger paws to slime around Silver's body, and also made him more sensitive to the abuser's touch. The left paw reached up to the wolf's head, stroking at it, tingling with his fur and playing around his ears. The other paw carried on its grasps around his pectoral muscles, as if needing to take that part for itself. Silver shut his eyes tight; it just started, but it was rough and hard already, he can sense those huge balls slapping with his in every thrust. Turbo didn't break the kiss at all, panting and growling inside him, and Silver couldn't help but do the same.

The orange digits moved once again, getting lower, lower, past his chest. Lower, crossing his hips, and finally disappearing under the wolf again between his crouch and the bed sheet. Silver opened his eyes in shock, bringing both his arms and elbows up to support Turbo in keeping his balance above him, but it gave him total access to his privates (not that he didn't by now.)

Silver tried to say something, but it got muffled, only wet smooches came out, and the banging at his shithole didn't stop. He tensed again as he felt the tiger caressing his genitals. It was cramped up down there, but it didn't stop him from toying with the wolf while fucking him. Silver closed his eyes again, feeling a tear slipping out as the pain in his butt didn't ease yet.

The bed was rocking, and their furs were wet and brushing against one another. His back was pinned by the tiger's massive chest, and his hole felt like a log of wood took it upon itself to enter him. Turbo finally broke the kiss, the kiss that the wolf thought will never end, and laid his head near Silver's, over his right shoulder.

"T... *grunt~* Turbo, slow-*yelp~*... fuck... easy, damn..."

The wild monster above him didn't reply, his jaws grinding against each others with hard muffled-up groans. It crossed Silver's mind just now that this might end in a very not pretty way. His friend isn't responding, hurt, emotionally confused, drunk and needy. This hard fucking he's experiencing now could turn to something else at this rate, what did this stupid wolf get himself into?

His mind got flooded up with excitement again, kicking those fears away for the time being. His own canine rod got thrilled at those two lovely paws playing with it. He simply faced forward, placing his chin on the bed and allowed him to carry on.

It ended rather quickly, of course. The tiger wasn't looking for a good time, he wanted something to relief his desire for now. A wolf, a horse, a human, an animal, a plushy, a toy... anything, anything that has a hole in it would do, and his friend was the closest his paws could reach. Another tear slipped across Silver's muzzle, it wasn't physical pain this time... his jaws opened and bit on the bed cover, feeling yet another tear.

The tiger roared like a furious lion, finally falling on him, dropping down his weight without mercy, panting as only his butt moved, jerking as hard and far as he can to let his balls hug the wolf's. Seconds passed and the wolf already felt that warm fluid conquering him, he tensed as the tiger's paws grew ever so tight around his member, forcing him to howl in climax himself too, marking his own bed.

They collapsed, their fur still damp, but Silver wasn't really sure if this was still water or merely their sweat of love-making... love-making, if only this was... Silver closed his eyes again, another waterfall rolled down in complete silence, huffing quietly as the tiger stayed inside him, not feeling the need to pull out just yet. But soon his muzzle began snoring, the canine under him didn't seem to mind the idea much himself, dozing off under him.

+++

Darkness.

Everywhere was dark in the tiger's eyes but the giant hourglass in front of him. It was brownish, glittery, sending beams of soft light. And that sand flowing from the upper section to the lower one, it was smooth, brown and crystal clear... it was beautiful. It stands with dare, challenging the dark void around it with its aura. The tiger found himself walking towards it, it was a beautiful sight.

He soon noticed someone there...

The sand was dropping on top of his green hair, just to swoosh around his figure and build up to the pile that already covered him up to his elbows. He was looking back at him with cold, empty gazes. He didn't seem scared or afraid of being engulfed by sand.

"Ramzy..."

The tiger walked closer, placing both his paws on the cold glass. He felt the need to draw closer to him, but the glass was in the way. Ramzy's face didn't change, looking back at him, silent, his body motionless, his face hollow. Turbo felt his heart beating faster, a tear was screaming to jump out. The scene suddenly turned from beautiful to agonizing, looking up at the gigantic sand watch-the sand is flowing down nonstop, and there's still a good portion of it up there, it would surely cover the lower side up to nearly its neck, totally burying the human.

He looked down at Ramzy again, this time the tiger was panicking, he rolled his paw into a strong fist, banging at the glass. He called his name, but he didn't reply, he didn't react at all. The sand reached near his shoulders, and his hair started changing to white. It all just freaked the tiger more.

"Ramzy... Ramzy! Quick, get out of there! Hurry!"

The human closed his white-changing eyes, not moving a muscle. The banging at the glass grew stronger, the troubled tiger can feel his paw twitching with the sharp pain, but his brain begged him not to stop. He kept punching the glass, and his knuckles started to hurt, making him stop momentarily. He turned around himself, shouting for help. Nothing, he was alone in a dark empty space, standing near an hourglass.

He suddenly found his LCP in his paw, but he didn't want to wonder about how it reached there for now. He took a step back and aimed, a strong shiver jolted across his spine; his aim was pointing exactly at the human's head. He moved his aim a bit to the right, but it was still aiming at Ramzy's forehead.

"... why?!"

"It's ok, just shoot me."

"No..."

He moved his aim again and again, and finally noticing the hourglass moving with his paw. It forced the muzzle to stare Ramzy between the eyes, denying any other way to break the glass. The tears flowed out of his eyes, his paw wanting to shoot, but at the same time hesitating, afraid of killing him. He shouted his name again, Ramzy Ramzy Ramzy, and his lungs stopped as the human finally opened his eyes at him and smiled softly. That smile was so soft it had no hatred in it, none at all, just pain and love, sorrow? Maybe sorrow... regret...

"Ramzy! Don't..."

"Turbo, I'm sorry."

"Ramzy... please... don't go."

"I wish I could have met you earlier... much earlier..."

"No, Ramzy, no! GET OUT OF THERE!"

The sand gushed faster now, covering his neck. It didn't give the painful growl from Turbo any more seconds before it covered him completely. The furry threw his gun aside, returning to the glass and punching at it in fear. He screamed in agony, slashing at it with his claws, banging his head at it, kicking it...

Then he stood there... finally letting this strange painful sensation devour him... it got dark...

Too dark...

+++

Hours later, the sleep broke away from Turbo.

The tiger opened his eyes slightly, his head feels so heavy. He closed his eyes again as he reached his forehead with his paw, realizing just in time - before touching his face - that his paw had long-dried semen between its digits. He got up and looked at his crotch, finding a lot of his fluid around his groin, already dried off too. And the wolf's bed was... well...

(... fuck, I... can't believe I... in his bed!! Oh shit!)

Silver wasn't there, and the tiger was thankful for that. But it was only a matter of time until he finds out anyway; he can't hide something like that, and even if he tried to 'clean' his bed... why would he do that other than...

Suddenly, memories of last night kicked in, making the tiger open his eyes wide awake, silent and frozen. He wasn't fabbing in sleep, he didn't have a dream of doing it with Silver before that nightmare... those things he did, he actually did them, with Silver... on this very bed.

(... fffuck~)

He whispered quietly as he reached to his forehead with the back of his paw. What a stupid idiot he was. He quickly sprang off of the bed and got out the room. Getting near the stairs, he can make the wolf's body lying on the couch downstairs. He quickly returned to the room he was in, entered the bathroom and washed up. Seeing the towel still being there, he took a quick bath.

(And to think he was kind enough to bathe me before I... shit...)

Turbo dried up quickly, hanged the towel around his hips and got out. He stood long in the center of the room, thinking how he should confront Silver about it. He'll have to apologize, he just hoped it wasn't... too rough on the poor guy. He doesn't even know if he's into that kind of thing or not.

He took slow, silent steps down the stairs, the wolf seems still on the couch, giving him his back as he faced away. The tiger came closer, hearing him breathe... but his breather was... somewhat heavy. He gulped hard, maybe Silver is already pissed off. He sulked down, not believing how easily he can get things screwed up just by being there.

He drew closer with cowardly steps, advancing and standing at the couch's end, the end that the wolf rested his head on. He was wearing his robe, but nothing under it, not even underpants.

"S... Silver? You up, dude?"

The wolf shivered at his voice, then his body got relaxed again, still his breather was heavy. He raised his head a bit, looking at his friend with one eye and smiling awkwardly. Something was odd, he was sweating, his face was weak and tired.

"Oh... yo, man. Did you sleep well?"

"... Silver... did I-"

His words halted as the wolf muffled a yelp, returning his face to the couch's small pillow. Turbo noticed his hands curling up near his chest, and his breather grew louder now.

"Shit... I don't know what's gotten into me... why is it hard to..."

"Silver?"

The wolf stood up quickly, his eyes shot in pain, it almost scared Turbo, there was something wrong with his friend. The pain was physical not mental, and his body was sweating quickly. Silver moved away a bit, only to yelp again, freely this time, dropping at the ground and bending his back forward, holding his heart with both... wait... holding his heart!

(Ah, yes... Well, Turbo, there is this disease that is now known as The Grim, do you know about it?)

The wolf rolled on the floor, his eyes shut so tight and his muzzle opened, his hard breather suddenly came to a stop, and the opened mouth was gasping a lot, trying to breathe. Turbo stood there, shocked, petrified. What scared him even more is being so awfully familiar with these symptoms, it's like looking at...

(There are many symptoms for this disease, but the most common and easiest to spot is that the heart clasps itself tightly at times.)

"No... Silver, you're... since when?!"

(Turbo... you seem to be carrying it.)

The silver canine couldn't reply even if he wanted to, he sat up on two knees and gasped hard, he removed his robe, thinking there was something that prevented him from breathing. But that didn't help much, his lungs still can't draw air, only barely. He reached with his hands to his neck, his eyes almost rolled back completely and his droll leaked. The tiger quickly came to him, he held his head with both paws and kissed him, his DNA should work with him too, right? He did this with the human and it worked, it should work here too, right?

Right?

The gasping didn't stop, however, and Silver kept gasping even harder than before. Tears flowed from his closed eyes, bringing Turbo to tears as well. He felt his soul shaking. Without thinking too much, he kissed again, squeezing all hope he has left in it. No good. The wolf was still suffering from his clutches.

"FUCK! WHY DOESN'T IT WORK!?"

(Normally, people who get infected by the evolved phase of The Grim have... half a day, or just one day at best.)

The wolf, miraculously enough, pointed at the table, getting the tiger's attention to Turbo's old dirty clothes along with Silver's bike keys lying there. Turbo quickly removed the towel, making do with only his long pants as he came back to Silver. He placed the robe around his body again, carrying him up and closing his right paw on the keychain as he tackled the door open, rushing to the bike.

"Hang in there, buddy... don't you fucking die on me, alright?! I'll get you to the hospital, you're gunna be alright. Just... please..."

+++

The doberman cracked his neck, standing near the wolf lying in bed. He turned to his nurse and nodded for her to allow the guests to enter. Now that the patient's condition returned calm again, it wouldn't hurt to have them inside.

Ten seconds after the nurse left, or maybe shorter, came four furries inside. Ix knew the tiger already, and quickly recognized the rest as he remembered seeing them before; an owl, a bear and a rabbit... he seems to recall someone else, but it was only four.

Zed, Claus and Kuma instantly went to the silver patient, worried. As for Turbo, he went after the doctor as the dog motioned for him to follow outside the room for a bit. Ix took a calm big inhale before he turned to the tiger, who was already troubled by all this.

"Was he in a fight? Those claw wounds on his chest seem recent."

"... something like that... but more importantly, is he-"

"Those were clear Grim symptoms, yes."

"..."

"By you."

"What?"

"Turbo, what did we discuss in the lab that day? The Grim is still inside you, but because of your natural immunity, your body doesn't get the least of trouble from it... your body alone."

"You're saying I won't be affected... but I can still affect others?!"

"To put it simply... yes."

"... so it was... my fault."

"And forgive me to say this; I'm not all this knowledgeable about gay relationships... but does Yzmar know? Wouldn't this seem like you're cheating on him?"

"..."

"I'm sorry, it's not my place to ask. But to your and Yzmar's case, it would be best that you two stick to one another. As for the wolf, we cleaned his body from it, and it looks like The Grim won't leave any marks on him; your DNA did most of the job."

The tiger took a long reassured sigh, at least the wolf was saved from being infected. That alone was enough. So it will be like this with anyone that he gets in contact with sexually? Anyone other than the human, of course. Everything seems to draw his attention back to Ramzy.

"But wow, I have to say that your DNA screwed The Grim in your friend's body rather fast. For it to be that strong, I bet you were quite a monster with Yzmar, weren't you?"

Turbo said nothing, his mind adding the recent events over his troubles with Yzmar... or Ramzy, to be more accurate... or whatever, Ramzy could also be a code name, he just wasn't sure anymore what to think. Ix pat the spaced-out tiger on his shoulder, walking away.

"Excuse me, I have another patient now. But stick around, I want to ask you about Yzmar later."

"... thank you, doc."

He walked inside again, finding Claus and Silver talking with one another, Kuma standing near them, just listening, and Zed already shifting his interest to something outside, almost merging his beak and face with the window's glass and giving his back to everyone else.

Silver noticed the silent tiger entering, his feet moved slow and took short steps to finally lead him to a chair, sitting on it and sulking down in shame. Seeing as he was down, the wolf nodded to the hare, who in his turn got close to Turbo and pat his shoulder, peaking and smiling down at him.

"Turbo, it's alright. Silver told us everything, don't feel guilty."

He raised his head and looked long in Silver's face, the wolf's eyes weren't hateful as he thought he'd find them. The feline got up slowly, getting close to his bed, but cowering to get too close, stopping at the bed's iron feet.

"You o... ok?"

"Believe me, I'm as good as I'll ever be. The doctor said that I can go to work by tomorrow if I want to."

"... I'm sorry about last night... and those wounds, too... I keep hurting-"

"Let's... just leave it at that, alright?"

"..."

"I'm not all that used to receiving apologies."

Suddenly, a falcon came inside, he was clearly huffing as if he was in a hurry for awhile. He wanted to come with everyone from the start, but he got delayed in traffic. He stood at the room's door, looking long at Silver who turned to him and smiled, nodding that everything's alright. The falcon closed his eyes and exhaled in relief, then changed his eyes to pierce at Turbo now; it was time to take care of other matters.

He walked slow, heavy steps on the marble floor. His talons almost digging down an inch at the solid ground with every step, and his hands were big visible fists, clasping tightly to contain himself. The look of him changed the atmosphere a little, making the bunny and wolf worried a little. Flok stopped in front of Turbo, his eyes not easing even a little.

"The fuck happened?"

"... I..."

Flok didn't mind the tiger staggering in his words like that; his ears weren't listening anyway. He gripped his neck since he was shirtless, forcing the tiger to look him in the eyes.

"Never did I think of you as a senseless asshole, Turbo. But now..."

Silver, trying to break the fight before it happens, waved at the angry avian and shook his head.

"Wow Flok, calm down. It wasn't his fault, he was drunk..."

The tiger didn't feel like shoving his friend away from him, guilt was still swarming inside him. He looked at Silver and smiled weakly.

"We both were-"

"No... I was sober..."

"... what?"

Flok, Turbo and Claus looked at the wolf in confusion as he went on.

"Seven cans don't get me that high anymore. At first, I wanted him to get drunk so he could fall asleep, but... I... I kind of... wanted this."

He sighed, closing his eyes and continued.

"I could have stopped it all, he was still drunk and it was easy to keep my distance from him at that night, but I didn't."

He looked again at Turbo, the tiger's mind was already blown in smithereens, disabled so suddenly. He began to understand it all, but the wolf looked away and started confessing in front of everyone.

"Yes, it's been awhile since I had such feelings towards him. But since Yzmar appeared, exactly after saving him at the harbor, I realized they both could end up together."

He opened his right paw, bringing it to his vision. A tube dangled from his wrist, feeding his body with some kind of medicine that supposedly helps in cleansing his organs from the disease.

"I was cool about it, at first, but then I found myself feeling for Yzmar too. It made me so... shit, I was so freaking jealous, and so angry with myself at the same time. I had a crush on someone that got taken, and then on the guy that took the first..."

He let out a short chuckle after saying that out loud, the situation is like a bad drama series; who would be an editor to such shit? It was almost a triangle but you can't really call it that, one of them was clearly out of the picture from the start. He looked again at Turbo, whose eyes were starting to get softer, realizing finally something his close friend kept a secret so he won't feel bad.

"Of course, I didn't ponder about it much since Yzmar carries... Fuck, look at me now. I'm choosing this very moment to say all this so you'd pity my current state... I'm such a weakling."

"... no, you're not."

"Turbo, I was guilty, and I deserve what-"

"No, I was drunk too, and did what I did. Don't take all the blame."

"..."

Taking care of that problem, the falcon jerked at the tiger's neck again, his eyes still brimming with anger and his feathers stood up like fire, making him look bigger somehow.

"That still doesn't answer my question; the fuck happened?!"

"... but he-"

"Yzmar, you fucker! What happened between you and Yzmar?!"

Finally understanding Flok's outburst, Turbo looked away, his eyes narrowed in anger but his muzzle remained silent for awhile.

"Don't get me start-"

"We've been trying to contact him for more than three days now! His phone doesn't receive calls and all short messages can't reach him."

"He's not who you think he is."

"You asshole! And you call yourself a friend?"

"Friend? Flok, you bastard, you think I'm not boiling? He was my fucking mate!"

"Were you even 'friends', to begin with?"

"?!"

The falcon finally thought that this very second would be perfect, his other hand launched, blowing his friend's cheek with a knuckle punch. The wolf instantly growled at the sudden violence, frowning at the big bird with visible sharp teeth, clearly trying to control himself.

"Flok, what the bloody hell was that?"

"It was a 'wake up you jerk' punch, obviously."

The falcon turned again at the tiger who fell on his butt, getting one shocked paw at his face. He looked up at Flok in confusion, not sure why he punched him.

"So you're Yzmar's mate? Really? How is that possible? You know nothing about him, and you never were friends to become lovers."

"You... scum! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!"

"Ask yourself that question, you idiot. Why did Yzmar open up to you?"

"Huh?!"

"Clearly you didn't get along well, everyone could tell. And suddenly SNAP! You ended up being mates? Who'd digest that?"

"..."

The falcon turned around slowly, the look on his friend disgusted him.

"I, too, thought it would work, but now I can tell you for sure it didn't. Turbo, Yzmar opened up to you because you pushed him there."

"... what... do you mean?"

"He didn't love you because of his heart, he loved you because of yours."

Turbo's gaze got lower, looking at his friend's sharp black talons. Those words were sharp they dug inside his brain for the first time, forcing their way in. They never occurred to him. Yes, he was pushy a bit... a bit? No... maybe more... but...

"But we..."

"Not 'we', my friend, it's you. It was only you right from the start."

"!!"

"I know Yzmar's kind, he would accept pain happily to take it away from others. After all, he thinks his life will have meaning by then, since he's dying from his disease."

"He's not! We'll make it through!"

"You believe that, I do too... but what does Yzmar believe?"

"... no... that's not true."

"You don't even know this much? What do you know, Turbo?"

"..."

"Tch, I'm going to the park to take some more laps. Just looking at you now makes me sick. Damn it, Yzmar doesn't deserve any of this."

The falcon soon left the room, turning the atmosphere upside-down in mere 10 minutes. Claus came close to Turbo, patting at his shoulder, telling him that he'll try and cool him down. The rabbit soon went off after him along with Kuma, leaving a broken tiger on the cold floor and an ill wolf on the hospital's bed... oh, and a quiet owl...

Silver turned to the owl in boredom; Zed said NOTHING since they came. It made him feel uncomfortable since he's the one that likes to pick on him. The owl just stared out the window at the hospital's garden, his eyes wide open and focused, amazingly silent.

"He's right for the most part, isn't he?"

Silver returned his attention to Turbo, he was talking to his knees as he looked at them. Flok's words were so heavy, but somehow held simple meaning, easy to understand. He was doing it for himself, he was troubled that Marcus left him... is that it? Was he filling the void Marcus left behind by having Yzmar? Did he love Yzmar because he loved Marcus before him? And now Silver, he must have done what he did to the wolf because Yzmar too left him... is that really what he's been doing?

"Am I that... awful?!"

"Turbo, don't think about it too much, you know Yzmar loved you back."

"He did, but... did I really make him love me? Did I really... force..."

"You forced yourself unto him, yes. But that doesn't mean he can't decline. You confessed to him, and he-"

"No... I forced him."

"Turbo?"

"He declined... back at the ship, he... blast it, I thought he loved me so much he wanted to..."

The tiger closed his eyes in self-loathing. He hated to admit it, but Flok's words made so much sense at the moment. What does Yzmar think of right now? What were his true feelings?

"Wish I could hear his mind out just once, and not relying on reading his body for that matter."

"Turbo..."

Suddenly, Zed blasted in a happy mood, which didn't surprise Silver since it's just like him.

"Guys, look out there!"

"Zed, just what is malfunctioning inside you? Now's not the ti-"

"Look out there, Silver! Look! Look!"

The wolf brought a hand to his forehead, reminding himself not to get angry when he's in this shape. But he was a little relieved that the damn owl returned to his normal self. Might as well see what this idiot want just to shut him up, it would be easier. Silver turned to the window, looking out at two furry dogs playing in the grass.

"Hmm, two cubs playing in the garden with a soccer ball, so?"

"They're so friendly with each others now!"

"... of course, they are kids and playing-"

"No, you don't get it!"

Zed turned back to the wolf, his eyes were still wide in astonishment, and his feathery wings stayed on the window.

"I visited my grandma yesterday, and these cubs were here too, you see."

"... wait a min-"

"The thing is, they were fighting so furiously, shouting and biting."

"What? Fighting?"

"One of them broke the other's toy yesterday, and they kept fighting about it all day. But looking at them now, they look like lost brothers finally together."

Silver suddenly found Turbo so surprisingly alert to what the owl is saying. He was still sitting on the ground, looking at the marbles while lending his ear to his friend. Zed turned his attention back to the window, and carried on.

"Don't you find it amazing? They hated one another so much yesterday they were ready to hurt the other. Innocence sure is pretty, they... oh!"

Zed almost jumped in his spot, still his face locked with the glass.

"Look! One of them fell and hurt his knee, and the other started to lick his scratch of a wound for him! Aren't they adorable?"

"..."

"Fighting amongst themselves only helped in strengthening the bond that ties them together, don't you think?"

"Bond?"

"That's right, Turbo, I said bond. They're... like... in unison, in harmony."

"Bond..."

The tiger repeated that word on his lips, it only caught the attention of the wolf, amazed at the developments the tiger is showing from mere words out of a childish fool owl. Those words made Turbo stand up quietly, slowly, wondering if Ramzy is feeling just the way he does now. Was there a bond between him and Ramzy? He wants to know, but how can he know without asking him? Even if he asked him, how can he be sure that these are his heart's words? And shouldn't he be wondering about his whereabouts first?

(Wait, it was an ac-)

Ac... Accident? What really happened back then? He can remember in that particular page that the author was so afraid, maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He needs to know more, if only he can read him like a book... or a journal...

'Wait! Shit, his journal!'

That's it! The human's journal, why would he write anything other than what he feels in it? Surely, he wouldn't, he'd only treasure his own honest thoughts. All this tiger has to do, in order to know for sure, is to get back to the apartment! In front of the puzzled wolf, the tiger sprang out, hoping he could catch up with Flok since he'll leave the bike here for its owner.

Silver remained silent, then turned slowly at Zed who didn't move an inch away from the window, still gazing out at the two dogs playing. Those words, they moved Turbo back to life, they guided him on what to do... did the owl mean it? Or was it simply a fluke? Come to think of it...

"Zed, your grandmother isn't in this hospital, is she?"

The owl turned to Silver, his beak was closed and quiet, it only wore a slight smile after awhile, making the wolf smile in return, sighing in respite. The owl was essentially clever, the wolf just noticed that he actually lost his usual accent in stretching words while speaking. A clear sign that he was serious, Silver can see it now.

'... Zed... damn you, dude. You're really something.'

+++

The van stopped in the parking slots, and Flok turned off the engine as he got out.

"As I said, you owe me nothing."

The tiger got off in his turn, letting his friend lock his vehicle before jogging lightly to the public park. He stood there for a minute, thankful for his friend's support... his mind returned to the task at hand, and he turned towards the apartments building, hoping that he didn't trash those diaries when he went nuts.

He walked inside the apartment, and his nose quickly caught the slight fragrance of him, his body twitched at that smell. No question about it, his body wanted him back, his mind too wanted him back. He took careful steps across the small living room, peaking inside that bedroom. The sight of everything lying in shreds invoked that scene again, his mind remembers someone else being there but he can't be sure who he was... maybe Ben, since he found him there when he caught the Unseen.

The aroma wasn't that heavy, but it made his heart beat faster, remembering Yzmar near him. His eyes kept jerking around, in search for those two diaries. It didn't take much to find them, and one of them seems to have lost some pages. He left them both on the bed and began looking around for the teared up papers.

After long heavy minutes, he sat on the shapeless bed, with the diary named Ramzy in his paws and the diary named Yzmar near him. His mind needed some more time to cool down, he closed his eyes and gave out a long dried up sigh, letting a tear slip from the pool that gathered in his eyes. Pulling himself together, he opened the diary from the first page, wanting to go through this for him:

<So, writing a diary... man, why would mom make me do this? Can writing a diary really make me better at school? What does this have anything to do with school?

Mom, if you'd only understand that I hate school... or maybe I hate the bad kids in it... urgh, what am I writing all this for?!>

Nothing much was in this page, so he turned to the other. His paw shivered when he noticed some signs of red under the page he turned to. Not wanting to skip anything, he read this one first:

<Dad is starting to get really angry lately... he hits mom so hard, and he look at me with hateful eyes. Why does he do that?

Sometimes, I wonder if all poor families go through the same ordeals. Dad started drinking again, and his mood gets worse when he does. But mom always smile at me, saying it's ok, saying that things will turn out fine in the end... how can you smile like that, mom? You look hurt yet your smile always gets to me, it brushes me with comfort, just like your touch... teach me to smile like you one day.>

The tiger noticed his paws becoming harder to move, his mate's past was finally visible for his eyes all of a sudden, but there was fear... his mind was afraid of discovering something far worse. He turned to the next page, and the red stain marks became bigger, stronger in color... but he didn't reach that page yet, he started reading the third one, noticing that the writer is starting to get caught in writing more and more:

<Mom is getting worried, even though she tries to hide it from me, I can feel it radiating from her... Dad started getting more late at the casino these past few days. That's what mom says, anyway, but what's a casino? She never told me. Sometimes, he'd come with a big grin on his face, smell so foul and hold a big bottle in his hand. And sometimes... he'd come angry like a demon, shout at mom and take her money by force... the money that she worked so hard for... why do you do that, dad? That's so unfair, why won't you stop? What are you doing all this for?

Why can't I protect mom from you?>

A hard gulp forced itself down the tiger's neck, the pages went on and on, every page gave details of a very horrific childhood. There was no happy entries... none at all. Every page he turned made the red marks dimmer and bigger... Until he reached the page, it was stuck with the one after it by the red stuff. There wasn't even a faint smell of it since it dried up totally with time. Carefully, he detached the two hugging pages, and started to read what little he could make between the red colors:

<My eye_______urts_______it's al_______on't stop! I'm bl_______

He was so ang_______om on the__________tried to sto_____ut he threw the bott___________

It won't stop, I_________fraid_____________f________d___>

The rest of the page was too messed up to be read further, and the scattered red marks didn't make it easier anyway. It wasn't hard at all to guess the contents of this one page, since he met the writer and knows him well. The red stain was clearly blood, blood dripping from his...

'His scar... by his father... oh God.'

He closed the diary for a moment, keeping one paw holding where he reached as the other went up for his forehead. Since that day, that scar was on him, opening on occasion, never healing. It shook Turbo strongly, not sure if he himself can live such things. Keeping the author's young age in mind, the mental damage would be way greater than...

He took another long sigh, not wanting to cower now. He opened the diary again, not surprised that the dates in between every entry got bigger than before, the writer is clearly starting to lose interest in going on:

<This wound is still clear on my face, I hate looking at the mirror because of it. Why won't it close completely? It keep bleeding just like that, out of the blues. Why?

Mom changed ever since, she look at me and smile, but the smile changes quickly into sadness, and then she goes in for a hug just so I won't see her agony... or am I becoming so ugly, painful to look at? Even I hate to look at myself now, of course everyone else would feel the same.>

'... you're not, you look... you're...'

A tear slipped away from his face and landed right over the word 'ugly', but it didn't stop the tiger. He wants to know these things, as much as it might hurt, as terrifying as it may be, he'll do it for him. He turned the next page, and his eyes - along with the rest of his body - got frozen:

<Mom passed away.>

That's it, nothing more, nothing less. Those three words were written right in the middle of the empty page, with readable handwriting, no caps where it's inappropriate, not in a big font and the writer didn't press too much on the page when he wrote those words. Those words speak of a great tragedy, yet no feelings or emotions can be detected.

To have someone as close as his mother dying when their life was miserable felt like a nuclear bomb. He remembers almost losing his voice from crying and shouting when his parents died, and they were not poor at all, they were perfectly fine, lived a perfect life and were deeply in love, yet the pain was immense. But here, a mother died, a poor woman, a gentle lady and a close source of comfort for the author, but no feelings at all. No additional words saying what he didn't say to her before she died, no mourning words. Mom passed away, it felt like a quick thought, a side-event in the news flash bar. Mom passed away, ok moving on.

But then, his mind tried to think of it the other way around; the human was like no other person. Maybe those words were painful and agonizing enough that he couldn't write anything else. Maybe his heart was so hurt it was impossible for the writer to add more. How would you feel if you were writing about your deceased mother in a journal? What would you write? What would you omit? As many ways the answers may vary, Ramzy made do with few words... mom passed away. It doesn't mean his sorrow is somewhat less than others, you can't really measure that, but everyone would be shaken hard by it. This human was too, it's just that he knew he wouldn't stop once he begin, he had so much to say that words failed him, his pain was so overwhelming his body nerve system broke and made his hand calm while writing...

Those three words, they were too much already.

The next pages spoke of one painful memory after another; no longer protected by his mother, the author's father began hitting him. No longer taking it off with his mother, the author's father took it off with him. As disgusted and taboo-like as it was, he confined his own offspring, filling the void that was created by his wife's death, and his child was the victim.

The tiger felt himself so sick after a couple of pages, this is a life no one can bear. It baffled him how the owner of the diary can survive after all this, he'd be psychologically insane. His father kept using him like trash, and there was a page filled all over with just three words: hate you dad. It went on and on, from the first lines to the end to the frames to corners, and the margins too were harassed by those words.

Turbo halted a bit, somewhat familiar with this. The father 'filled the void' by stepping over his own son. Looking at it from a third-person perspective, it was so obvious. But Turbo was doing the same thing, he took Yzmar in, loved him... loved him? No, he was doing it for himself, wasn't he? And once again the poor human was the victim.

(It's about time you experience joy in your life...)

(Nothing will harm you anymore, you're safe here... in my arms.)

Tears were rolling freely past his chin and dripping down, but he went on, he doesn't know why anymore, but he began blaming himself as well. Flok's words are getting louder and louder in his mind, regretting the day he changed him into his lover by his decision alone. The day when they hugged in the showers, when the human cried hysterically, began to appear differently now. The next few pages were the same, until one page had very messed-up handwriting:

<Dad fell down, he's not moving...

It happened after he 'pissed' that strange white gooey thing inside me again, but after 3 hours, he was on the floor, his face to the ground, not moving at all. I thought he was asleep, but he stayed like that a whole day. I quickly called the hospital.

The man in a white long coat said he's in a cow-ma. Basically, he'll be asleep for months, or maybe longer. I gave him the house's number and returned home, but now I don't know what to do. I'm...

I'm scared... I'm really alone. Maybe dad was right when he did those weird things to me, he kept saying it was my fault. It was my fault mom died, my fault he lost his job, my fault for being poor and hopeless and good for nothing...

I'm scared. Mom, please forgive me, it was all my fault.>

The next entry felt somewhat different, the handwriting got better, the writing style changed. The author began writing his diary as if talking to the pages. He started looking for work at a very young age, just any work that can help him survive. Then he reached some pages about shady deals, strange agreements of taking something to someone and rewarded generously. And the tiger's eyes opened wider when he read the lines:

<Dear Diary,

They call themselves the Unseen, they look confident, and they seem to like moving behind the scenes, always in the shadows. Some stupid delivery of playing cards to some people here and there, it sounded easy, and unbelievably worthwhile.

I enlisted back to school all thanks to them, and the payment for dad's treatment isn't an issue anymore... yet, I wonder why I'm doing this for my old man, nothing but bitterness did I ever taste from him... and yes, I meant every word I've said. Maybe I'm hoping...

Just hoping that he'd come back as the father I once knew...>

The tiger didn't think much, thinking in every entry felt so painful now, he just want to finish it up, quickly flipping to the next page, worried where all this will lead, worried how all these things will change him:

<Dear Diary,

The Unseen are getting rather pushy lately, they knew about my schooling (somehow) and, soon after, they proposed that I move to their base. They really called it a base, Diary, I'm not kidding. Pfft, dorks.

I think it's for the best; they seem like a good bunch, they pay me a lot for doing some easy tasks. I don't know what I'd have done without their help, I have a lot to thank them for. I'm going to prepare my things right away and call them back, I'll just pass by the hospital every now and then to check on dad from now on.>

The next entry's date was after 2 months from the previous one:

<Diary, I was wrong...

They're just a bunch of nasty people, they make me do all kinds of nasty stuff. I have to listen to their orders or else they beat me and abuse me further just like dad did before, it hurts a lot. Diary, I don't want to be hurt anymore, the only way not to get hurt is try my best not to screw up, and even if I don't they sometimes still hurt me.

I'm scared, they threaten people around, steal from them, they kill people... Diary, I'm scared, they're kill people like it's the easiest thing in the world! I get locked up in this small dirty room, just retreating to a corner until the next idiot decides he wants to 'have a good time' or just beat me to ease his anger.

Diary, I'm such a moron... I couldn't help mom, I made dad suffer although I don't feel bad about that much, he started it, he was hurting mom... but mom... mom, where are you now, mom? It's dark and dirty in here, I'm so scared... mom... mom, help me.>

Drunk with all these discoveries already, the paw flipped to the next page, only now finding himself begging for this to be over soon:

<Diary... I changed my mind... I don't want anything. I don't mind being alone. I don't mind the pain, the insults, the nasty stuff... all of it, I don't care... let them do what they do, I won't mind again.

Diary, I just want to go home... mom... I want to go back.>

+++

After awhile, Turbo got out of the bathroom, still didn't change that pair of trousers. Emptiness filled his being, his eyes can't produce more tears, and he needed to stop for a minute. It felt like he won't survive, and went to splash his head with cold water, taking a quick break. His heart didn't need more to understand the situation by now, but Turbo wanted to know his mate. He wanted to know for sure if he's not doing this because of his desire alone.

He returned to the nearly-destroyed room, sitting on a bed that no longer served as such, and continued where he left. It was after that very page that the entries of the police attack took place. With a refreshed but troubled mind, Turbo turned the pages to skip those entries, reading what was after them:

<Dear Diary,

I'm in Earth now, the planet that's been said to be the Humankind's homeland... even though it's becoming quite common to see furries in it, since the two cultures almost merged. I know that much at least from school... too bad I couldn't go on, but I'm going to need to earn my living now. I used to cook a lot for those bastards, so my best bet would be finding somewhere that could use my skills...

... shit... Diary, I can't stop thinking about him, I killed someone and ran. Just like my mom, killed her and ran... I killed dad as well and ran... I've been running ever since, haven't I? When will I stop?

I keep seeing his face, Diary. Wherever I turn, it's as if his soul is haunting me. I knew something like that would happen, but I was so scared... he pointed the gun, hesitated then shouted something at me, I can't remember. He stopped but I didn't, I... shot... I shot him, I... oh God, I'm so sorry I didn't mean it.>

Controlling himself not to shed more tears, he reached for his torso and pressed... pressed on that little T shape that was once around his love's neck. The words almost showed him what happened inside his mind, it's as if he was actually there, looking at them acting that entry out. It stings, but he had to move on:

<Shit, they almost found me.

Poor guy, he was just trying to be friendly. I tried to push him away, but he insisted. I can't let anyone know of this damn... curse! I can't, Diary, I can't involve anyone else in this. And I need to be alone so I won't kill any more people. The owner got his place totaled by them just to try and find me, I just know it's them, they're still chasing me. I need to disappear, I need to change.

I need to do something else, a... I don't know... a teacher, a mason, a driver, anything... ANY FUCKING THING! No wait... changing jobs or places won't be enough... I... I need to... change everything!>

The handwriting was getting more and more unstable towards the end, and it looked like the writer was in a hurry writing all that down. The next entry was the last; looks like so many pages were missing, but he couldn't bring himself to look for them:

<Diary, I guess this is goodbye.

I'm going to open a new path for myself, if there's no road for me, then I'll create my own bloody road and walk in it. I'll change. I'll be someone else, doing something else, and no more shady stuff this time, only true to myself, honest to my feelings.

I'm Ramzy no more, so there won't be any point in keeping you with me anymore, Diary. I'm sorry if this breaks your heart, but you'd be better off without me anyway. I'm not worth the company, I'm a dying man anyway.

Thanks for everything, and sorry for everything too.>

That's it... the diary ended there, with many white pages, sadly left white. The tiger remained seated on the bed, closing the journal and keeping one paw under it to hold it, and the other over it. Silence took over his lungs, for a minute there it felt like he forgot to breathe as a sudden strong inhale broke the silence. A strong dreadful sigh followed after that, and a tear that he couldn't stop slipped down a bit, only for his paw to come and wipe it clean.

His mind finally admits defeat, Flok was right all along. He knew nothing about him, completely nothing. He guessed the human to be of an ill-fortuned root, but this went even beyond what you could call bad luck. This was so twisted, it was a great achievement to read it all in one go, and the owner of such experience must have super powers to move on from all these things.

Those words didn't seem deceiving either, Ramzy had to outstand the impossible. His life was almost that of a slave, but even a slave would shiver at such a life. A moment went by with the big feline not moving a muscle, his brain was chewing a lot in one brainful it ordered his body to give it a moment to file all those new documents in their appropriate shelves.

His face turned to the other journal; Yzmar's journal.

(You don't want me to hate you, do you?)

His mate was so defensive when it came to this one book, the whole secret is there. He thought at first that the human didn't want him to read it because of embarrassing feelings, and since that day he almost swore that it must have the solid evidence to accuse him of being an outlaw. But, the way the first journal ended, it didn't appear as if the writer was happy with what he did a single bit. His ears got down, regretting not reading further in those logs before running to him and pointing a gun to his head.

He reached with a hesitant paw to it. It just came to him that he'll have to go against the human's wishes to find the truth. He didn't want to do it like that, but then decided to read it too. He wanted to believe that there was still hope, he wanted to believe that he can still right the wrong.

He wanted to believe that he can still have his heart back.

+++

After one hour of leaving his friend, Flok finally slowed down, his jogging becoming slower and shorter until he stood in one spot, still kicking lightly at the air to help his blood moving. A quick glance at his latest leather gear down his talons made him smile at the results.

"Nice, these new gears feel much better. I might run more often now."

He took off his backpack and fished for his towel, drying up all the sweat that he loved to keep while running; it gave him a sign that his body is most alive and healthy. He returned to his van, taking short steps since his talons were tired. He opened the back door and threw the weight-filled backpack on the seats while keeping the white towel around the back of his neck and dangling on his chest.

The falcon took a long stare at the apartment building from the parking slots, his breather didn't ease yet as he huffed quickly. It didn't appeal to him; leaving his friend like that after trying to knock some sense into him could bring a counter reaction. He locked the door and jogged again... this time, his destination was Turbo.

He reached the apartment and ringed the doorbell once, then bowed down placing both hands on his knees to catch his breath. Soon after, a topless orange tiger opened the door, his face was hollow.

"T... Turbo? Man, what..."

The tiger didn't reply, he kept the door open and turned around, moving away inside the human's room again. Flok opened his eyes wide at the total mess this apartment changed into. He heard that Turbo lost it for a mere 5-minutes-period, but seeing it now gave a better description. Confused, the bulky bird stepped inside, closing the apartment door and followed him. The tiger was standing in the middle of the ruined room, looking around the place.

"Turbo... what happened to you, man?"

The tiger turned to that familiar voice, just now realizing who bothered enough to visit this ugly place. It was a friend, a friend who helped him see things.

"Flok."

"Man, you need to relax a bit. I was angry before when-"

Turbo reached for a book on the bed, and walked slowly to the baffled avian, handing him the book. He then walked away to the window facing the room's door, staring outside, still silent. The feathery being stared at the journal a bit, it reads Yzmar.

"This is... this is his journal?"

"Read it."

Flok raised his eyesight again to his friend's back, Turbo's voice was weak, and he could make some sudden shivers that died quickly as fast as they came. His fur was so tense, his tail was a rock, not jerking in any position at all. The falcon gulped silently, and turned on the first page:

<Year 4 Day 182>

The big guy paused a bit, not knowing the meaning of this odd way of conducting the date. It was more like a time record, like the days that have passed after a certain event took place. A thought crossed his mind, thinking this might be the period since he ever found out about his disease, not knowing that the writer really meant the time passed since he changed. He went on:

<Year 4 Day 182

Starting to give up on a cure, looks like this disease is one of its kind, medications for it aren't available yet. I'm getting the same freaking answer from everyone: "We're working on some assumptions to take out the bad symptoms and replace them with..." ASSUMPTIONS MY ASS!

Another damsel taking a liking to me, had to act cold again to stop her. Seriously, I lost count... what's so freaking hot about a weak guy with a scar? Are you people all douche bags?

Graduated with Engineering, took part in many events, met important people interested in my skills. I had to refuse them, the goal I placed to myself is this FEVA everyone is talking about. If my skills aren't good enough, then it just means I have to try harder.

Time will tell, they say.>

The writer was clearly writing short simple lines, stating only the necessary and ignoring everything else. He raised his eyes again to Turbo, still the tiger didn't move from his spot. There was a lot of gap between an entry and the next; the next one got written down after more than a year. Flok took a seat and continued reading:

<Year 5 Day 229

Finally, a letter of inquiry from the executive director herself. At last... Flander's Environmental Validation Association... Mom, I'm going to do you proud, your son will prove his worth to the world. I'll just have to finish up with my current contract, and begin preparations to Velencia... where it all began...

On that matter, still the research for a cure remains negative. But, at least, the idea of becoming a new person seems effective; they didn't show up at all. Poor bastards, was this all it took to lose my trail? Such morons.>

They?

Flok looked back to Turbo, his eyes filled with questions.

"Who're they? Who's following him?"

"Flok, skip those pages, I want you to read from the last 6 entries."

The tiger didn't move from there, his voice was just as weak. He was worried about his friend, but Flok thought of doing as he says for now. The skipping wasn't much anyway, he only needed to jump about four pages or so. The entry he was guided to read was exceptionally long, clearly a different style from the rest of the diary. And the big gap between an entry and the next vanished. Flok was also familiar with the first one he read:

<Year 8 Day 14

Entry written for Year 8 Day 13:

Joined FEVA, met some idiots at work for giving the factory an awesome first-impression (note to self, never do that again), and almost killed a cocky wolf in the bathroom. Tried to stop him with words, couldn't. Tried to stop him by struggling... pfft, never worked for me. The lucky furry doesn't know how fortunate he was when Gemik popped up.

Assaulted sexually, again, by the most barbarous fucking one-brainer I've ever met; Turbo, a tiger that thought of teaching me a lesson that he should've taught himself first. As much as I hate having people killed like that, I couldn't do anything because, again, this chain of a disease always gets in the way. He had his way with me, and I was restrained for his fun.

It left a bad taste in my mouth, he just happened to have helped me only 5 minutes ago. As much as I felt hatred, I didn't want him to face an ugly ending... just like me soon...

Entry written for Year 8 Day 14:

Felt an incredible amount of pain that morning, needed to see a doctor, ended up meeting that Turbo in there too. And, as if fate was moving everything, a lot of discoveries happened, ones that really lightened my heart back then.

Turbo soon changed, he began trying to talk, I could feel it. I've never thought about my own sexuality up until now... freaky, isn't it? I didn't feel that much attracted to both genders, humans or furries, to the point I almost thought I was asexual... I would have believed that if it wasn't for the sack I carry down there.

He's trying so hard to make an advance, but I had to stop him there and whenever he tried; I was still mad, not to mention being so uneasy with him since he raped me as if I was his bloody whore. Plus, he knew of my disease... damn that doberman, I didn't want to tell anyone other than the chairman to get the job.

Assaulted sexually, third time already, by those bulls again, couldn't stop it either. Was kidnapped and powerless. Can't remember what happened clearly after that but I was somehow in the apartment. My wound was attended to, and I could only remember seeing those same furry group who forced me to be one of them, I think they were helping me out... yes, that's how it looked like. It was strange, this is the first time, mom. I've never had friends, yet these guys... do friends feel like this? But why me?

Turbo confessed, and seriously trapped me in a corner to get through me. I couldn't push him any further, and broke in tears. It was just too much to handle, I didn't even know if I was gay or not, but my heart was lost inside him. His form surrounded me, I couldn't help but get snowed under... but it was warm... mom, he embraces me just like you, always feels safe and secure. I found myself starting to like the touch of his fur on me, and his low continuance purrs, his smile, his eyes... mom, if you can just see his eyes... What is this feeling? He kept saying he loved me, is this love I'm feeling around me? Am I loving him too?

He took me to his room, and one thing led to another and... well... we indulged as it happened.>

His face turned red a bit, hoping that the next words won't describe the intimate scene as well:

<Afterwards, I began wondering, I didn't deserve this. The weight of Ramzy's guilt was still on my shoulders even though I wanted to change, and here comes someone that wanted me... wanted me for me only, he knew nothing about my past, he just wanted to be near me... it was hard.

I cried again, and he hugged me softly, calming me down... I believe I was really in love with someone for the first time.>

The falcon took a long breather; there was much to fathom, but the basic idea was clear somehow. He looked again at Turbo, and he was now down on his butt, giving his back to the window, just the way he was when he punched him in the hospital.

"Turbo, you ok?"

"Keep reading, Flok... please."

Still feeling that the tiger isn't ready yet, the brown falcon kept reading. Strangely, the next entries had no date recorded in them. As if the purpose of keeping that record was finally lost:

<Turbo surprised me today,

He didn't want me to go to work because of my wound, we argued but he won by cheating. I stayed at first but I had to go, I keep seeing that damn graveyard I always see in my nightmares.

I met some shady punks in a limo, and they offered me a lift for a 5-minute talk. Their master knew my real name, and them was the first image that emerged in my head. Fearing that this might give me in, I refused strongly to their wishes, leaving their limo at the gate.

After work, I was surprised again by Turbo. He arranged a cruise, a restaurant ship kinda thing. I got shocked when he told me he's proposing, the words lost the way to my mouth, returning to my head. I wanted to say yes, God knows I wanted to so much.

I left him there, leaving the hall.

My body was still in a defensive mode, it was so complicated; I wanted him, but I didn't want him to end up with me. I had nothing, I was about to die, simply counting my days (even though Ix said he'll work on something) and hoping I could produce something in FEVA before that. If we become together, I'll only give him pain, I have nothing else.

But he surprised me yet again... he came after me, punched me, his eyes full of pain and fear, and then punched me again. I've never known such feelings before, I got hurt many times in my life, but never like that. And for the second time he cornered me, giving me no other option, there was only one possible place: in between his arms. I had to let it happen, I loved him, I loved him so much I didn't want to hurt him, I thought me being with him will hurt him. I was wrong.

I was wrong, and I was glad that I was wrong.>

Flok found himself smiling, his eyes became wet a bit as reading these entries was reassuring, Yzmar was Yzmar. He always believed it, he didn't allow himself to doubt him, and he was a little worried. But now, he can feel his heart easing up. He went on the next entries, smiling at the day the human got ill, and how shocked he was when Turbo caught him in a lie, saying the soup was fine. And then the entry of the beach came:

<I'm beginning to wonder if I've ever known life.

I got forced to go to the beach while still being ill. True, my illness vanished so mysteriously after one day and one night, but the beach?! I refused strongly, but again... when it comes to furries, there's nothing I can do... heh.

Surprisingly enough, I somehow felt some thrill inside me. Even when they decided to play Beach Ball game, I got pulled in it, but I enjoyed it... I had fun... yes, this was fun to me. I hope we can do this again after Winter is over; taking a breather at the park is ok, but the beach is something else entirely... heheh, Turbo ended up kissing me by mistake when we were playing, the stupidity of how that happened almost blew me over in belly laughter.

I'm starting to like him being with me even more; it was so warming, comforting, just like his jacket blocking the cold wind.

Met that odd limo-driver in the toilet, they seem insisting, but it's just reason enough for me to insist as well. Turbo came to me shortly after that guy disappeared, and my mind was finally set on track. His words always made sense... He's a great guy.

His support is what keeps me going.>

Flok instantly noticed the limo-driver being mentioned in this entry too, he didn't give that limo much thought the first time, but there seems to be a little bit of something that Yzmar didn't mention. The last pages, however, scared the avian a little; the writing and style was getting better before, but now it seems to be shaky:

<Bastards...

They just did that to threaten me, want me to realize that they're not kidding, they mean business. Curse them, wasn't I enough? Do they have to go that far? It's all because of me, isn't it?

Turbo might know if they keep this up, I can't let this happen. I need to reach a solution without involving any more people in this. Shit... it's going to be hard. How can I even explain why I'm leaving FEVA? Damn it, those bastards, they had to screw everything up!

Heh, I was really wondering how my life turned to good a little lately, guess now I know why; Fate just needed a higher hill for me to fall from, and joining FEVA, getting great friends and meeting a wonderful soul mate was a hill high enough for a dramatic skydive. This is going to be the skydive of a lifetime... it's so awful I'm even making jokes of it.

... shit, I don't want this... none of it...>

By now, Flok could see that something was indeed wrong with Yzmar. The way he talked with him that day in the park didn't seem natural; he was thinking about his condition and keeping a lot of things to himself. He wanted to turn to Turbo right away, but there was only one entry left, so he turned the page, willing to finish:

<I normally write before going to bed, but... I guess this is an odd issue.

They found me, finally they followed my trail up to where I was. How did they know I left for Velencia again? Such a pile of vile insects, I can't believe they have these many spies... who knows? One of them could be a friend of mine, or maybe even Tur... SHIT, why am I thinking like this?

I can't run this time either... fuck, what would I tell Turbo and the others if I did? A part of me kept telling me that it was a mistake, a big mistake to try and live like a normal person, a big mistake to open a new page. Today, I see clearly how big of a mistake that was, to the point of getting those people involved.

No, I won't allow this.

The only way to keep everyone safe is...>

The writer clearly didn't write everything down, a thought crossed his mind at that sentence made him stop there. Flok closed the diary at last, pausing in thought. That entry must have been written after they met in the park, he could spot some obscurity in the human but not as much as this note delivered.

He turned to the tiger... still, the big kitty didn't move. His stillness spoke of defeat, of renounce, of surrender. The huge bird shook his head and came closer, kneeling down on one knee and placing the diary near him as he faced his broken-up friend. Flok kept looking silently in his face, watching those yellow eyes cowering down. The brown feather-ball's voice came out soft and low.

"Turbo, you're not giving up on him, are you?"

"... of course not, but I... I did a lot of wrong things to him."

"No, you just-"

"Flok, if you keep reading the-"

Flok raised his hand calmly in front of him, wanting him to stop.

"I've read it all, I know how it feels; I was once the odd-one-out in my life. I don't know how you feel, but I think I know how he does."

"I destroyed him... I didn't know half of the truth yet I pointed a gun at him and was... God, you don't know how close I was in killing him."

"... but you didn't."

"I didn't? I didn't?! And that makes it fucking ok?! I THOUGHT OF KILLING HIM, MAN! THESE PAST THREE D-"

"He probably wanted you to do that."

(Shoot me, Turbo. Why won't you?)

"... what... what do you... how did you..."

Flok smiled awkwardly at his puzzled friend's face.

"I told you at the hospital, didn't I? Yzmar would accept pain happily if he took it instead of you. After all, I'm like him, just not as daring."

"But Flok... wait, is he trying to amend for..."

"Yzmar probably wants you to forget about him since you uncovered his past."

(Remember what I told you yesterday? Don't worry about the past so much, you can start from square one today.)

"He... wants to amend... by being forgotten?"

"Even though I still find it difficult to believe that he shot your father."

"He freaked out, closed his eyes and pulled the trigger..."

"..."

"That's what he wrote... in the first journal."

"What do you think?"

"I... kept talking big, yet I acted like a..."

The tiger broke his stare back down to his knees, his own words echoing in his mind. He was the big rock supporting the human, he kept him safe, loved and alive. He was the first square the earthling was starting from, but he suddenly crumbled under him.

"I did this to him."

"Don't blame yourself too much-"

"No, it was me. I did this, I took it all from him, all-"

"Turbo!"

The falcon grabbed the tiger's short muzzle with his free hand, forcing it shut as his solid serious eyes met his friend's doubtful ones.

"Taking the blame now won't do him anything, would it?"

"..."

"WOULD IT?! ANSWER ME, YES OR NO?!"

The tiger whimpered, for the first time he's feeling so weak. He closed his eyes in regret and shook his head left and right, slowly, feeling bad to admit that his friend was, yet again, correct. The bird finally moved his hand from his muzzle to his shoulder, tightening around it and giving a reassuring shock.

"Turbo, we need to find him."

"Yes... thanks, buddy... I'm alright now."

"*Grin~* By the way, I'm sorry for that punch before; it shocked you more than I intended to."

"Don't, you did the right thing."

They both stood up, shaking all the bitter feelings away.

"Now what?"

"..."

"I tried calling him, like I said before, and his line doesn't receive calls."

"Messages?"

"No good either; keep getting notices that my messages are being blocked by his number. Almost feels like he doesn't want us to find him."

Turbo moved silently, in front of Flok, and headed towards his room. He tossed his 4-days-worn pants to wear new attire; blue jeans and a white long-sleeved top, and took his brown jacket with him. He took his keys and met Flok in the ruined living room.

"I'm heading to Ben's station."

"Ben... Benjamin?"

"Yes. He's E-ranked now, he could help me look for him."

"I'll come-"

"No, you stay with the others; I need someone to rely on in keeping everyone calm."

The falcon frowned, but soon broke out a quick chuckle.

"What is this? Some kind of war?"

"Flok, I need to do this, and I don't want to involve you guys with me."

"It's... kinda too late to say that, isn't it?"

"Exactly like Ramzy, I want to bring that number to a minimum."

"Dude, you know it's-"

"No worries, Ben is a real ass-kicker. You just go and ease the rest."

The big bird stood silent, deep inside him he didn't want to leave his friend's side just yet. But if it's something they have to do, then leaving him now is actually helping him out. He smiled at Turbo, not breaking this silence, giving a thumb up to assure him of his support, then he left.

Turbo felt his paws rolling tighter. Things are clear in his mind at last. He still doesn't know how he should feel about him shooting his father, but what happened in the past 5 hours or so was all he needed. It was all he needed to finally know that Ramzy wanted to be with him too at some point, just like the tiger wants him too, even now. He'll have to be stronger than he ever was this time, once he finds him he'll need to... wait, first things first.

'I still have no fucking idea how to-'

Suddenly, his phone bleeped in his pocket, vibrating slightly. His face became frozen... he knew what that particular sound meant...

He quickly took out the phone, dropping it from his paw in annoyance as he was hasty about it. He bent down, snatching that damn phone. He couldn't know for sure how fast his heart was beating, but he was sure it was past 100bpm right about now. His panicking paws needed double the effort to stay still, he kept hitting wrong applications and growl in disturbance as he closed them.

Finally reaching the GPS, he could feel his body becoming so stiff, his fur matted out and his eyes almost broke the phone's screen by just staring. The GPS map showed the marker again, the tracker was somehow enabled again, there was the red dot flashing once more. He pointed at it, and it didn't read Yzmar anymore, nor Ramzy, it was...

<Turbo 2am 2night>

He gulped hard, is this Ramzy? Is this really him?!

He dialed his number, but it was just as Flok told him. He quickly typed a message and sent it, and soon got the notice that it didn't reach the receiver. He couldn't confirm it, but he just knew it was him, his heart forced that idea in his brain, and his brain believed it, agreeing without arguing at all. The serial number of the target was familiar, this is the exact same tracker.

He galloped to the apartment door, but stopped there. He was about to rush to his location, but it was still past the afternoon. Ramzy changed the phone's name from Yzmar to 'Turbo 2am 2night', clearly he was leading him to something, something that will happen at that location at that time. He began moving again, sprinting quickly, heading to his car as he programmed his GPS to show him the quickest route to the police station Ben works in.

+++

His eyes kept staring at the top screen of his phone, and both his hands held it lightly as his mind didn't give him a break ever since he got out of that jail.

He threw the phone aside, it slid on the bed covers a bit and was about to fall, but stayed there on the edge. He dropped his body all the way back, closing his eyes.

(I already told you why)

His thoughts about that slinky hyena never broke, surely Zephyr knew of the tracker being in his phone. He said he disabled it, but why didn't he take it off? Why give him the phone again? Does Amado and that buffalo brute know about this tracker?

'Giving a hint for your prince to come rescue you from the dragon?'

"... pfft, sounds so cheesy when you put it that way."

'Look who's talking-'

"And no, that never crossed my mind."

'... what, then?'

"Shut it for now, I need to take a rest..."

The human sat up slowly, looking out his window. The night is drawing near, it's only a matter of time now to see if Turbo can still trust Ramzy or not. He walked to the cabinet in his room, opened it and took off his clothes, leaving only his undies. He returned to the bed, noticing the phone again on the edge. He placed it near the pillow as he wormed himself in bed.

+++

Turbo parked his car near the Police Main Office. He had to change his destination after dropping at his station since he got news that Ben was summoned there for a closed meeting.

He entered one hallway after another, getting surprised stares and glimpses from everyone. It was odd to have the late legendary pair's ex-officer back here after all these years. He kept turning left and right, not bothering to ask anyone and had to look for him himself. He doesn't want any other unit to be assigned for the job, he can't let anyone else know.

He soon caught his friend's unit members waiting behind a closed door, he drew near them; he can speak with these guys since they'll be with Ben should he accept. After the small greetings that Turbo wished so much to cut short, they told him that Ben was in a bad mood, behind this one door. Not heeding their wishes to give him some time, Turbo busted inside and closed the door behind him in their faces.

He looked across the small office; Ben was looking out the window, and turned towards the door when he heard someone entering. He smiled at Turbo and gave him his back again, staring out the window some more.

"... hey there, tiger."

"Ben, I... I need your help."

"In what?"

"I think I have a lead... and we need to be quick about it in order-"

"That's... going to be somewhat hard now, bro."

Turbo paused, noticing this strange dryness in Benjamin's voice. He soon noticed another terrible thing; Benjamin's E-rank emblem, it was no longer on his shoulder, placed on the desk behind him. The penguin sulked a bit, bringing both his hands behind his back, holding one another, and said nothing for awhile.

"Turbo, I'm currently under... suspension, until further notice."

"W... What did you... say?"