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'I need the WPA PSK key.' 'What's that?' 'It's a key that lets you access your wireless network. It's on the bottom of your modem.' 'Wait, wait, I'll take a look.' 'It should be right there...' 'Awww, look at this mess! Seriously, my dad's ability to tangle up a wireless router is uncanny...' 'Never mind that, at least your laptop finds your wireless network now.' 'I don't see it...' 'That's the router, Sam, you need the other one.' 'Oh! Wait, I see it! I see that WPA thingy.' 'Let's hear it.' 'It's, uh... It's 07001BEFEB' 'Alright! Aaaaaaaaand... We're online.' 'Awesome!'

Samantha had trouble to hook up her new laptop on the internet. She bought a wireless router so that she can get online throughout the house but Sam and her dad couldn't figure it out so she asked me to help her... The router was connected properly but the laptop didn't find any wireless networks. They forgot to turn the wireless on and to enter the encryption code to gain access to her wireless network. So I did and well... Problem solved...

Well, Sam was one happy kitten after I managed to fix it for her... We were sitting on the couch in her living-room while she showed all kinds of stuff, from retards making an ass of themselves on YouTube to designer clothes for bargain prizes on various web-shops. Needless to say, we had a couple of good laughs that day... Her dad was gone for the evening, spending time with his girlfriend but Samantha didn't mind at all that he was gone most weekends. Her dad was always there for her but he never was able to do something for himself. If he wasn't working, he was taking care of Samantha when she was younger. Samantha figured it was time that he started to do things for himself. She registered him for a speed dating session and that's where he met his girlfriend Susan... Of course, Sam saw her dad regularly but during the weekends, he was always spending time with his girlfriend. Samantha didn't really mind because she had the whole house to herself on most weekends... And whenever she was spending the weekend alone, she called me up and asked me to stay over, which usually ended with us being a little naughty with each other...

So it was no exception that Saturday evening that I was staying over at her place again. We were pretty tired seeing as it was a hot summer day with a temperature well above thirty degrees Celsius. Samantha and I went to the beach, went to a small pub afterwards to have a few drinks and by the time it was ten o'clock in the evening, the two of us were absolutely shattered. And even though the temperature dropped in the evening, it was still quite muggy... The whole muggy atmosphere in the house made us feel lazy and on top of that, we were outside the entire day which only doubled the effect it had on us... So we stayed home... And at some point, we could hardly keep our eyes open so we went upstairs to her bedroom... Samantha opened her window and then sat next to me on her bed... We talked for a bit and well... Then she invited me to have a bath together... How was I able to refuse such an offer? I couldn't, of course and with that, the two of us got undressed fairly quick... When Samantha passed by naked, I pinched her lovely butt-cheek and when I did, she shrieked out loud... She has a great tight ass and she knows it... Sam looked at me and smiled while she wiggled her butt in front of me and then moved towards the bathroom... So I followed her... The bathtub was already filling with hot water when I got there but it takes a while to fill it up... Samantha embraced me and held me tight while I felt she pinched my ass... And with that, I gently kissed her and we waited for the bath to fill up... When it did, Samantha got in first and carefully let herself down in the warm water... And then I got in, sitting between her legs... My legs didn't have much room anymore so they weren't completely submerged under the hot water... And of course, we could've been a little naughty with each other but the hot water made us feel so drowsy and relaxed, that we just cuddled and fondled each other for a while... 'You look tired, Ceylan...' 'Yeah... Being outside the entire day wore me out...' 'It's going to be a lovely day tomorrow again... You feel like going to the beach again?' 'Sure thing...'

I could just feel the steam floating upwards and it just so relaxing that it almost made me fall asleep... The silence that filled the bathroom made me drift off in thoughts... I thought about Samantha and me, but I couldn't help to picture Blain as well... Would there be room for him as well...? I've thought about it for several weeks now and yet, I always came to a dead end... I didn't know the answer to that... 'Sam...?' 'Hm...?' 'Do you remember that when we both agreed to do this, you said that we'd have an open relationship...? And that you said that if either one of us found someone else, we'd simply just stop doing this...?' 'Yes, why...?' 'Well... What if you find someone else but don't want to give up on this...?' 'You mean, like... Me having a boyfriend and you at the same time...? Part time lovers...?' 'Yes, something like that... What would happen between us if one of us had...?' 'I wouldn't know, really... I always thought that we wait for the day that mister or misses perfect arrives and that we'd stop doing this...' 'But that's the thing, Sam... I don't want this to stop of what we're having right now...' 'Does that mean that... That you found someone else or...?' 'Kinda, yeah...' 'Oh... Did you go all the way with her or...?' 'It's not a she this time...' 'A guy...? You're in love with a guy...?' 'Kind of... He's a black leopard and his name is Blain... We go way back and I've known him ever since I came here... He lives next door...' 'How come I never met him...?' 'He has a girlfriend and things haven't been going well for a while... But we made up and we hang around often nowadays, like we used to... And well... I like him... I really do... The more I think about it, the more I want to be with him... And I just thought that... Well... Maybe Blain and I can have the same that you and I have...' 'A kiss, a cuddle and a fuck whenever you feel like it...?' 'I wouldn't put it that way but, uh... Yeah... Basically...' 'Heh...' 'It's just... I'm not really sure how to deal with it, you know...? I mean, I love you and I love him and well... It feels as if I need to make a choice and I don't want any of that... I want the both of you...' 'You really don't believe in a relationship, do you...?' 'No, I don't... I just don't want to give you up in order for me to be with him...' 'So he's basically a mate...' 'Kind of... I can't label you and Blain as a mate or whatever because it goes deeper than that, you know... I just want to see how it works out and take everything slowly with him, just like we did...' 'So... What exactly do you expect me to say...?' 'I wouldn't know...' 'Look... We're doing this because it's all part of an experiment... I wanted to know what it's like being with a girl and everything and well... You wanted to be with me... We set up a few rules to avoid miscommunication and fights, like we had in the past about this but... Technically, we're still friends and not lovers... We're something in between... And if you want this with someone else as well, then who am I to tell you that you can't...?' 'We managed to make it work...' 'Then I think you and Blain can also make this work between the two of you...' 'Thanks, Sam...' 'Anytime... Makes me think I need to find a guy as well, though...' 'Hehehe...' 'But, uh... Ceylan...?' 'Yeah...?' 'If we actually are gonna see other people, I want to get one thing straight...' 'What's that...?' 'As long as it doesn't change anything between us... Because I love you very much and I don't want to be a competitor between you and Blain...' 'Heh... Neither do I... I mean, with you and you're uh... Future boyfriend...' 'Hehe... But uh, yeah... Maybe it's time I find a guy as well...' 'You should, definitely...' 'Hihi...' 'But you can meet Blain, if you like... Maybe he can come with us tomorrow...' 'Sure, why not... I'd love to meet your Prince Charming.' 'He's not my Prince Charming...' 'Uh-huh, you say that now but wait until he works his magic on you...' 'Psh, Blain's nothing like that... He's calm, sweet and sensitive... He's the only guy I ever really liked... And well, we did so much together and it's so great to be around him, you know? He makes me laugh and... His blue eyes are just...' 'Awwww... I knew it...! Hihi!' 'What?!' 'You're a big softie after all...' 'Well... Yeah... Why, does that seem so wrong?' 'Naah... Sounds to me you're madly in love with him...' 'Uh, no... I mean... Yeah, kinda... I always felt about him this way, ya know... But it's not until recently that I started to think what to do with it... I was honest to him about it and well...' 'How'd he react?' 'Surprised... But I don't think he takes it seriously... But maybe that's why I need to take it slowly to see if he does...' 'Maybe...'

Gently fondling each other in the bathtub was so relaxing... Sam and Blain didn't make much of a problem of it and even though I knew they didn't take it as seriously as I did, I can honestly say that I felt great that night... Now that the both of them knew what I felt for them and accepted it, I was able to focus on myself to make it all happen. I'd take it slowly until everything felt right... And then Blain would finally know how much he really means to me as a friend...

After we dried ourselves off, Sam and I went over to her bedroom where we flopped down on her bed and just dozed off while we were cuddling each other but it wasn't enough to make us fall asleep... Every now and then, there was a long pause during our conversations. And at some point, I looked at Sam and noticed she had her eyes closed... It's so easy for her to fall asleep... And no matter how tired I am, I always have difficulty to sleep... But to see her sleep was something I always considered to be beautiful... I could watch her for hours like that... When I rested my head on her chest and embraced her, she slowly opened her eyes and looked down on me... And that's when she placed her arms around my shoulders, holding me close while I could hear her heartbeat... Feeling her every breath... I curled myself up like a ball and closed my eyes... And it didn't take long for me to drift away into a peaceful sleep...

I texted Blain the next day to ask if he wanted to come with us to the beach but sadly, he already had his own plans with his girlfriend Rachel. And I remember how disgusted I was to find out he was spending the day with her again... But nevertheless, Sam and I went to the beach and it was a lot of fun, like it usually was. While we were on the beach, Sam asked me about my plans the next weekend but I told her that I had my birthday coming up and that I was celebrating it that Saturday. Of course she was invited if she wanted to come and I told her that it would be a great opportunity for her to meet Blain. She said she'd be there so I immediately texted Blain to ask if he wanted to come as well. Several minutes after I sent that message, he replied to me and I quote: "YES!!!!" So it was all set then. All we had to do was to wait for the next weekend...

'That was Daft Punk with Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. I swear, that song never gets old.' I opened my eyes and found myself in my own bed... The warm sun was shining through the cracks of my window blinds... My room wasn't so dark so I could see everything perfectly clear... And I noticed my alarm clock said seven A.M... I closed my eyes for a moment to slowly wake up while listening to the radio... 'This is Radio 538 and my name is Jeffrey Brown! Good morning to everyone who just tuned in on this beautiful Wednesday morning! Later on are James Blunt with "You're beautiful" and Bob Sinclar with "Love generation" but first up: Joanne McMillan with the seven o'clock traffic news. How's the situation on the roads this morning, Joanne?' 'Good morning, Jeffrey. It's still relatively quiet on the highways this morning. In total, there are four traffic jams with a total delay of an hour. A4 Westminster, at junction Northumberland, six kilometres due to a car accident earlier this morning. Two lanes have been closed down which causes a delay of approximately thirty minutes. A diversion is set; drivers are advised to take the A57 Rotherham, followed by the N521 Castershire. A12 San Mantégua-'

The sound of the radio faded off... The more I wanted to listen to it, the quieter everything seemed to get... Especially when I realized what day it was... I closed my eyes and felt how a tear was rolling down my cheek... "August 31st..."

I always get a little emotional on my birthdays and it's something I still have, even today... It's strange that you celebrate the day you were born and to be thankful for the years that you've spend with your loved ones, can make you feel so sad... On days like that, I miss my family the most... With each year passing by, I get a little closer, waiting for the day I would see them again... And even though I know I've got many more years to come, it felt more like a torment, knowing it would take so long... Something always told me I would never have peace with myself... To never accept the things the way they are... It's difficult to live with that once you realize it... And celebrating the day I was born reminded me of that... Celebrating it with the people who weren't even there when I came to this world... And I always cried on my birthdays, at night, when no one was around me... But each and every time I saw the look on Simon's and Catherine's faces, I saw something genuine... Something real... Something I can't explain... They'd look at me and told me how lucky they are for having me as their daughter... A beautiful, strong tigress... Whenever I felt depressed, they held me close and told me how much they love me... How much I mean to them... It reminded me of why I was here and what my purpose is in life... It gave me strength to go on... It reminded me of what I was fighting for to protect... And it always got me thinking at night, when I was in bed, still wondering... Each and every time I look in the mirror, I see my mother and I get reminded of the message that she's trying to bring... To be able to find a chance of happiness and to realize how precious our lives are... My father once told me that we are so busy trying to live our lives that we forget what it really means to be alive... I was too young at the time to understand the true meaning of his words... But now I know... And it gave me all the more reason to enjoy life to its fullest... But that's why I miss them so much... That's why it's so difficult to live with guilt...

'Haaaaaappy birthdaaaay toooo yoooou... Haaaaaappy birthdaaaay TOOOOO yoooou...!' I got snapped out of it when I heard that... "It's way too early for that ... Oh my god, I'm naked! Oh my god!!" I turned around and noticed Simon and Catherine standing near my bed singing happy birthday while they were smiling at me... But of course, as you might know, I sleep naked most of the time so that day was no exception... I didn't expect them to come in my room and sing happy birthday while I was butt naked under the bed-sheets... Luckily I was underneath it because if I wasn't, it would've been quite embarrassing... I nervously smiled at them and waited for them to finish the song and leave but they hugged me tight instead while I tried my best to keep myself covered up... And well, to tell them to get out of my room didn't sound so nice. So after that lovable, caring yet slightly embarrassing, awkward way to congratulate me, they left my room and once they closed the door, I stumbled out of bed to find my underwear. Needless to say, I didn't find it, not even on the ground where I left it... Nothing in my wardrobe, of course... "I really need to learn to put away my own clothes... Catherine must've dumped it in the laundry basket already." So I opened my door and peeked around the corner of the doorpost to see if anyone was in the hallway... "The coast is clear! Go!!" So I ran up the attic as quickly as I could in search of panties and my bra and when I finally found them, I took a towel and washing clothes and used it to cover myself up as I made my way to the bathroom as fast as I could. I quickly locked the door and turned the shower on, sighing in relief...

Once I got downstairs, Catherine already prepared the table and made delicious pancakes... And even though it was my birthday, a special one at that, it didn't make me feel any different. Of course, there are the presents and parties and everything and it's not that I don't like them, but I just don't like the fact that you're getting older. Time seems to fly right by you while you don't even notice it... And even though it was my eighteenth birthday, it was supposed to be something special... It just didn't felt like it... I was fairly happy that day but... Something was just missing... I sat at the kitchen table and just looked at blank space when Catherine brought me a cup of tea and while she walked by, she caressed my hair and gently pinched my shoulder as a reassuring gesture. And when she came back, she gave me a plate of fresh baked pancakes... 'Thanks...' 'Simon and I have something you want for your birthday...' 'You do?' 'Oh yes, It's something you really want...' "A dildo...?" 'Can't wait to see it...' 'Hihi... Are there any friends coming over on your birthday party?' 'Just Blain and Samantha if they're allowed to come over...' 'Of course they are... Why so glum, sweetheart? Your ears are all droopy...' 'I guess... I don't really care about getting presents or having parties... It's enough for me just to be with you and Simon and everyone else...' 'I know, sweetheart... Now eat your pancakes, that'll turn a smile on your face.'

I wasn't feeling so hungry that morning but I took a bite from a pancake nevertheless. And she was right; it did turn a smile on my face... A weak one at that, but a smile nevertheless... Catherine makes the best pancakes in the world and she knows it... 'I've always loved your pancakes...' 'Hihi, I know you do...'

Catherine gave me a big firm cuddle and a kiss on the cheek... After she did that, I couldn't help myself to rub my muzzle against hers, holding her close... Something told me that Catherine always knew... And she always did everything she could to take away the pain I felt... And while she was cuddling me, I didn't really know what I felt... It felt as a chunk was stuck in my throat... I scraped my throat when I felt my eyes got watery... I saw Catherine smiling weakly at me as a tear was going down my face... She gently wiped the tear away from my cheek... And when she did that, I held her even tighter... Catherine was the closest I could ever have as a mother figure even though I never considered her to be... But each and every time she holds me tight and told me how much she loves me, I'm thankful that she is willing to be one for me...

My eighteenth birthday was another milestone in my life. It felt as if I could start my whole life all over again... Ever since that day, I promised myself I would enjoy life to its fullest with the people I love the most. Back then, I only had Sam and Blain but the two of them were the best friends I could ever wish for. And of course, I did meet other people but they're not worth it to be mentioned... Most people come and go, but Sam and Blain always sticked with me. Samantha and Blain were the only friends at my birthday party that Saturday and the whole family was there as well. Catherine, my grandmother and I stood in the kitchen to cook for the family but as you might know, I'm a terrible cook and couldn't separate a tomato from and onion... Figure of speech that is... So instead, I helped Simon cleaning up and did some additional groceries seeing as we needed crisps and peanuts and everything. And at around four o'clock, I saw my little cousins Nathan and Joshua running towards our front-door the moment they hopped out of the car. I already saw them and opened the door ahead. The two of them literally were running in my arms and gave me a big firm hug... Aunt Isabelle carrying tiny little Ashley... All of them... Each and every time I opened the door for relatives, they all hugged me tight, congratulated me and there was just so much love... It happens every Saturday and every time, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy, you know... I can't describe it...

By five o'clock, the whole family was there but also Blain and Samantha. Only Sam got introduced, seeing as everyone already knew Blain since he lives next door and always came by on my birthdays. And while they were mingling amongst my family, meaning Blain talked to my uncles about Ferrari's and Sam played with Joshua and Nathan, I had a moment alone with my grandmother... 'Do you have any plans for tonight, kitten?' 'Well, the plan is to go out tonight with Blain.' 'What about Samantha?' 'She has another birthday tonight so sadly, she can't join us...' 'There's always a next time...' 'There is, yes...' 'Nathan seems very fond of Samantha...' 'She's really good with kids.' 'Are there any plans to make it official...?' 'Official?'

I looked at my grandmother and she had a bit of a cheeky smile... I didn't understand what she meant with that at first, but after I saw that smile, I knew what she was aiming for... But I didn't think it was the right time for coming of the closet that evening... 'Oh! No, not really... Hehehehe... I, uh... I don't really think it's the right time to discuss this sort of thing...' 'Of course, dear... But is everything still going well between the two of you...?' 'Oh yes, definitely...' 'Even... You know...? Oewang jakahr...?' she said with a cheeky smile again...

My grandmother was the only one at the time who knew I was bi-sexual and my relationship with Samantha. My nana is very tolerant and it takes a lot to get on her bad side. She was kind of surprised when I first told her about my experiences with girls but ever since then, she was the only one I turned to whenever I was facing difficulties or had questions related to this. It felt as if she was the only I could trust about this matter... It felt as if she was the only one who was supporting me... And yeah, I also told her about my sex life... So 'oewang jakahr' literally means "between the sheets". She was basically asking if I still enjoyed having sex with Sam... And the reason why she asked that in Daijirian is to protect me from anyone who happened to be eavesdropping so that no one would understand what the two of us were talking about... Of course, we talked all about it whenever I felt the need to but we always did that whenever we were truly alone together... Rarely whenever other people were around... But nevertheless, she always asked me how things were going with pretty much anything... And she knew I had things to vent out and that I had questions I didn't dared to ask others... So my sex-life wasn't a secret to her... I didn't really go into details whenever we talked about it... But talking to her about who I really am meant the world to me because I knew she wanted me to be happy... My grandmother is everything to me... 'Hahaha!' Uh... Yeah... It's awesome, nana...' 'Hihi...' 'Why'd you want to know?' 'Because it's part of every healthy relationship, kitten...' 'Hehehe, yeah...'

And then, all of a sudden, Simon placed his hands on my shoulders and gave me a firm cuddle. I got a little freaked out because I thought he was listening to our conversation... 'I think your present arrived, sweetheart.' 'Arrived?' 'Yeah! Look outside!'

So I did and I noticed a car was double-parked outside in front of our house. A nice looking car... I did see it was an Audi judging the shape of the car but I didn't know what type it was... A sweet looking ride though... Simon and everyone else basically pushed me outside on the street while I was admiring that car... It said 'A3' on the back of the car... A black Audi A3... "They're gonna give me car?! But I can't drive yet!" And I swear, the moment I thought that, I noticed the blue L on the roof... "But I'm about to learn it!!" And with that, I met my instructor and after a brief introduction, I sat behind the wheel... And then we drove off...

Of course, I thought that one lesson was enough for me to pass for my driver's license test but that proved to be a little more complicated than that. All I was allowed to do for this first lesson was to steer and use the turn-signals. But nevertheless, it was a blast... I've always wanted my drivers-license and now I was on my way of getting it. I thought we were heading for freeways and everything but we just went along on those small country-roads and the residential area's where the maximum speed is fifty kilometres an hour. The lesson only lasted for an hour and a half but it was so great, time seemed to fly right by me... When I got home again, everyone was waiting for me outside and it was just so awesome to see my entire family smiling and cheering at me...

After we had dinner, I received gifts from everyone, as if that gift from Simon and Catherine wasn't enough... The rest of my family gave me envelopes with money and well... Sam actually gave me a bottle of Dolce & Gabbana fragrance... I've always loved it but they were just so fucking expensive... So you can imagine I gave Sam a big firm hug afterwards 'till she couldn't breathe. And well, Blain's gift was probably the most unique... It was a square box which felt quite heavy and I had no idea what it was... They tried to guess it before I unwrapped it while Blain was saying "nope..." to everything that was being suggested. But of course, curiosity got the better of me and I carefully unwrapped it... And when everyone saw what it was, we were all laughing of what Blain got for me... Not because it was a stupid present but it's because no one ever expected it... It was an OCZ five-hundred watt power-supply unit for that PC I was building but never got to build it due to the lack of a PSU... And when I saw that, I literally jumped up and gave Blain many hugs and kisses while he had this cute little smile on his face...

When it was around nine o'clock, Sam had to go to her cousin's birthday. I really wished Sam could've gone with us that evening but I figured we'd take her along the next time. Blain went home to change into something more casual seeing the pub we'd visit that evening had a dress code. I slipped into something different as well in my room, wearing casual black skirt that reached just above my knees and a white top and an open baby blue blouse. And while I was putting on my black stiletto's, I saw myself in the mirror... I posed in front of it to take a good look at myself... "Sexy, yet subtle..." If there's one thing I'm really proud to show off, it's got to be my legs, which is why I was wearing a skirt... I smiled at myself and went downstairs, where Blain was already waiting for me... He was wearing denim jeans with a white blouse and a black jacket, like the ones you're wearing with a tie, and black leather casual sneakers. He looked handsome... He had a bit of a nervous smile when he saw me coming in the living-room... I walked up to him and unbuttoned his jacket... 'That's better... You shouldn't close your jacket.' And again, that nervous little smile...

The rest of the evening was a lot of fun with the family and by eleven o'clock; Blain and I went to a pub for a drink. It takes about fifteen minutes to walk to get there, seeing as it was downtown. But once we got there, we got a little disappointed because the place wasn't really so crowded... Nevertheless, that meant we could take a seat somewhere. The place wasn't really a pub, by the way... More like a grand café with a beautiful interior and lots of comfortable leather sofa's with plenty of tables. They played quiet soothing piano music in the background and there was a little candle burning on our table... The lights were dimmed and the whole atmosphere was soothing and mellow... Almost romantic, if you asked me... Blain ordered two cocktails at the bar while I waited at the table and when he returned, he placed my cocktail down in front of me on the table and looked at me with that nervous smile again when he took his seat across me... 'It's been a while since we went out together, isn't it?' 'Yeah, definitely... I'm glad we finally found some time...' 'So, uh... Do you know what you'll do after graduation?' 'Already made up my mind.' 'You did?' 'Yup! I'm going into the IT business.' 'IT business? You mean computers?' 'Yeah, I'd love to make my way up to become a system administrator or a system engineer.' 'Well, that seems the only logical choice for you, really.' 'Hehehehe... How about you?' 'Me? Oh, I uh... I don't really know... I was thinking to join the national armed forces.' 'The army?' 'Yeah! I did some inquiry about becoming an armoured engineer and you basically tinker on Challenger 2 tanks, Apache helicopters and stuff. It's so awesome...' 'I see... That's great!' 'Yeah! And I'm also good at sports so... I figured it's the right decision. Don't know what else I'm supposed to do after graduation, really.' 'Well, I'm sure you'll manage.' 'I do hope so...' 'Of course you will, Blain... I have all confidence that you will... So! I'd like to bring a toast to our futures... And that it may give us some well needed happiness...' 'Hehehehe... Here's to us... And that it may last for many more years to come...'

And with that, we officially opened the evening by clinking our glasses together and it made me wish that this could last for many more years to come indeed... I had a lot of fun with Blain and even though he took me out on my birthday, it didn't really feel as if he just wanted to hang out with me... It wasn't a coincidence that he picked such a fancy place to spend the night... The more we talked, the more it felt like a date instead... But maybe that's why I liked it so much... One moment, we were talking and laughing about things that happened in the past and the next, we had our serious talks about the shitty things that happened to us... Nevertheless, there was not a moment of silence between us... Every once in a while, we ordered a drink, which were really good by the way... But then, at some point, Blain kept looking over my shoulder every now and then at the bar... 'What's wrong?' 'No, nothing, there's just some guy who keeps checking you out...' 'Where?' 'Don't look, but he's behind you at the bar...'

As curious as I was, I couldn't help but to look anyway... He was some kind of weasel guy or whatever the fuck he was supposed to be. I quickly turned away the moment that guy made eye contact but knowing he kept staring at me didn't make me feel comfortable at all... Every now and then, I looked over my shoulder to see if he was still staring and he still was... At some point, I got so sick of it, I nodded to him, basically saying "The fuck you want from me?" Of course, he didn't get the message, so I turned to Blain again... 'Seriously, doesn't that guy have anything better to do?' 'Oh for fucks sake, he's coming towards you...'

Now... If there's one thing I truly hate, it's gotta be someone who's trying to hit on me... Especially whenever I'm with someone... Unless it's a girl, then I wouldn't mind but that never happened... People don't flirt with me, I flirt with them... So when this guy approached me, it felt as that whole thing was out of balance and I fell back to that aggressive, defensive, smart ass behaviour most people know me for... So before I knew it, he stood right next to me... I noticed that Blain was glaring at him but he didn't say anything and looked away when that guy looked at him... I thought it was kind of sweet that Blain started to get jealous... 'Did it hurt?' 'Excuse me?' 'When you fell out of heaven?' 'Hihi, aww... That's so sweet yet totally inappropriate and creepy. But did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?' 'No, why?' 'Because your face looks so fucked up that it must've hurt... Seriously... Did you loose a bet or something? If you want to hit on someone, at least think of a more original pick up line, okay?'

And that moment, he placed his hand on my shoulder and that's when I totally freaked out... I jumped up from my chair and stood before him... I didn't think he expected me to be so tall, seeing as he looked up to me when I did... 'Touch me again and I'll snap you're dick off and kick it around on the ground! I don't know if you noticed it but I'm here with a friend so... Kindly piss off!!'

I looked at the bar and noticed the bartender was looking at us. And with that, he backed down and returned to his own group of friends, who were laughing at him for his pathetic attempt... I was really pissed and it took me several moments to calm down while Blain kept looking at me with a big smile... 'What?!' 'Hehehe... It's funny...' 'What is?' 'One moment, you're like an angel and the next, you're the devil with PMS...' 'Psh, fuck that... I don't like that kind of shit, you know... Don't come to me and act like a dumb ass...' 'The guy is a little tipsy, that's all.' 'Blain, no one can ever be tipsy enough to use that pick up line... I thought he was kidding at first...' 'Just calm down...' 'I am calm! For fuck's sake, man...' 'Hehehehe...' 'But uh... Heh... You really mean that...?' 'What?' 'That I'm an angel...?' 'Yes...' he said with a smile...

"Oh for fucks sake..." I knew I was gonna regret that question. But the moment he said yes, I know it was too late... Already my cheeks felt warm as a little smile couldn't be oppressed... And when I looked down, I saw in the reflection of the table that I was blushing... When I nervously started to laugh, Blain looked at me and his smile became even bigger... Because no one ever managed to flatter me enough to make me blush... And it's because I knew he meant it...

Even though that douchebag tried to hit on me in front of Blain, it quickly made me forget once we picked up where we left off. Nevertheless, it was a lot of fun and I think I never laughed so much in one evening as Blain told all kinds of stories he experienced with his friends. Listening to him about what he did made me believe my life was just plain boring compared to his...

At around two in the morning, Blain and I started to make our way back home. You saw people walking around downtown but once we got out of there, lesser and lesser people were seen on the streets. It took us half an hour to get back because we were walking slowly as we were still talking and laughing about all sorts of things. Once we got back in the suburbs of Ravello, there was not a living soul to be seen. The empty streets were illuminated by the streetlights as Blain and I strolled passed them... Blain stopped in front of my house as he held my hand... When I embraced him, I could hear him sigh quietly as he held me tight... And the moment he looked up, I looked down at him, staring at those blue eyes... I gave him a quick kiss on his lips and made my way to the door afterwards. But when I wanted to grab my key to unlock the door, I couldn't find it... In the mean time, Blain already got to his door when he saw me looking in every pocket that I have and grabbling around in my purse... 'Damn it...!' 'What's wrong?' 'I can't find my keys...!' 'You forgot to take them with you...?' 'No...! I'm sure I took them with me when we left...! Everyone's asleep and I can't get in...!' 'Try to call them up...' 'Uh... At this time of night?' 'Well, uh... Stay over at my place then. There's nothing you can do about it right now.' 'Can I...?' 'Of course, I can't just leave you outside...' 'Aw, thanks...'

And with that, I quickly made my way out of our garden while Blain already opened his door. Once I got inside, he locked the door and we made our way to the living-room, where Blain placed his stuff on the table. 'You want a drink or something?' 'No, I'm fine, thanks...'

While Blain was in the kitchen, I saw his wallet and his ID card inside of it... I took a good look at Blain's ID card and noticed something I never knew of him... I saw his initials... "D.R.J.. Rodriguez..." I know for a fact that the name "Blain" doesn't contain the letter D... Once Blain came back, he flopped down on the couch... 'Wow... I never knew you had three names...' 'Yeah, I'm named after my grandfathers. Dominic Raphael Jonathan Rodriguez.' 'So Blain is more of a nickname or something?' 'Yup. You didn't know?' 'No, I never knew that... How'd you get that name anyway?' 'Well, remember how I was making up superheroes when I was little?' 'Yeah...?' 'One of them was called Blain, who had the ability to control the elements and fought the evil baron Rothaundor. I pretended to be like him when I was little; I adapted his name and well, ever since then, people started to know me as Blain... Even my family started to call me Blain.' 'Aaah... So what's your real name?' 'Dominic's my real name. Juan and Raphael are my grandfather's names.' 'It'd strange to call you Dominic after all these years.' 'Then don't.' he said with a smile...

Once Blain finished his drink and brought his glass back to the kitchen, we both went upstairs to his room... I've been in his room many times over the years and it never changed... Blain is a huge Ferrari freak and has all kinds of posters and Ferrari merchandise in his room. It's a typical boy's room, a little messy at that, though. But nevertheless, nice and cosy... I sat down on his bed and watched him undress... And to see him taking off his t-shirt... "Wow..." Blain's not incredibly muscled but I would describe him as average, you know... But still... Underneath that hard exterior still lies an insecure, sensitive little boy that he always was... When he unbuttoned his jeans and took them off, I saw he was wearing grey boxershorts. And when he noticed I was watching his package, he quickly turned around and put on his jogging pants, where he always sleeps in. He fluffs up the pillows and spread his bed-sheets... 'Look, I, uh...' 'What's up?' 'I don't have anything with me, you know and uh... I'm not wearing a bra underneath this top so... Hope you don't mind...' 'Uh... I-I, uh...' 'Don't worry; I'm still wearing panties...' 'No, I mean, I got a clean t-shirt for you to wear...' 'I don't think I'll fit your t-shirts... And besides, its way too hot...' 'Or, uh... Maybe I can-' 'Blain, it's fine, really. I don't mind sleeping topless...' 'Okay so, uh... Goodnight, Ceylan...' 'Wait, w-where you going...?' 'Downstairs, I figured I'd be sleeping on the couch...' 'You don't have to, you know... I don't want to drive you out of your own room...' 'I thought you'd fancy a little privacy...?' 'We're just sleeping, right...? It's not as if we're... You know...' 'Well, okay...'

And with that, I got undressed myself by taking my stiletto's off first... Then slowly, I let my blouse down, revealing my white top... It felt more like a striptease or something that I was doing for him... It felt so great to know he was watching me... And then I turned around, and slowly pulled my skirt down, showing my ass... Haha, the moment I took my tights off and faced him, his face looked as if it could explode any minute... 'Wow, pink panties... I didn't think it was possible for you to wear pink...' 'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side every once in a while...' 'Hehehe...' 'No peeking...'

And with that, I took my top off... My little breasts were jiggling the moment I took them off... He actually wasn't looking when I teased him like that... It's a shame, really... I wished he could've seen it... Once I sat on his bed and told him to look, he didn't expect me to show my little titties to him... The look on his face was priceless yet oh so sweet... 'What's wrong? You act as if you've never seen a pair of titties before...' 'Uh...' 'C'mere...'

I saw the hesitation in his eyes... But when he sat next to me, I gave him a firm cuddle and a kiss on his cheek... After several moments, Blain didn't seem so nervous anymore and that's when we turned the lights off...

It was a rather cramp fit in his bed, I can tell you that... My feet were sticking out at the end while I was lying against the wall and Blain just barely managed to stay in bed and not to fall out. I thought it was gonna be a long night, considering neither of us were comfortable in his bed... I kept looking at Blain and when he finally looked back at me, I caressed his hair... 'Thanks for taking me out tonight... I had a great time...' 'Me too, Ceylan...' 'You know, I thought it was very sweet of you...' 'Hm...?' 'When you started to get jealous when that douchebag came along...' 'Heh...' 'You're the only guy for me, you know that, right...?' 'I-I guess...'

With all the hints I gave throughout the evening, I thought it would be obvious by now... He still didn't get the hint... So I rubbed my muzzle against his and gave him a gentle love bite in the neck... The poor thing was so fucking nervous... It wouldn't actually surprise me if he jumped up and ran downstairs... So I had to make him feel comfortable first... I whispered quietly in his ear that there's no reason to be so nervous when I got on top of him... I want it so bad and yet it scared me... 'Blain...? I, uh... I have to be honest with you...' 'What's wrong...?' 'You're not the only one who's feeling nervous about this...' 'About what...?' 'About us... I've never felt so nervous in my life before and even though every fibre in my body tells me not to do it, I can't help but to think that I want it to happen the most... It's so confusing for me after everything that happened in the past... But I trust you... Just one night together... That's all I ask...'

It's actually kind of funny because I started out being so confident about myself and now that I felt it was gonna happen, I became very timid and insecure about myself... The tables have turned the moment I got on top of him... Blain wasn't the one being nervous anymore, but I was and he saw that... He sat up right as well and held me in a firm embrace while he rested his head on my shoulder and whispered quietly in my ear... 'You really want this...?' 'Yeah... With you...'

Whenever I was together with Samantha, I was always so confident about myself... We were always fooling around and were rather playful with each other... But not with Blain... That night, everything felt new, as if I never had sex before... But despite Blain and I had sex years ago, it was still different... I wasn't a virgin anymore because of the things that happened... But that's the reason why I was so nervous that night... Whenever Samantha was nervous, I took her hand and I'd guide her through because I knew what she wanted... And now it felt as if the tables were turned... Blain had to guide me... Blain had to let me know what it was like... He had to take me by the hand... But he knew that all too well and that's what made him so nervous... His strong hands went through my hair as he pressed his lips against mine... Despite being nervous, I kissed him back... And that's when he started to lean forward until I was on my back with him positioned between my legs... What happened next looked a lot like some scene of a passionate romantic movie... And it felt like that... I closed my eyes when he kissed those sensitive spots in my neck... I always thought that Sarah was the only one who was able to do that... The nervous feeling slowly went away the longer he did that... Every now and then, he gently bit my neck and ears while he caressed my thighs and his hands slowly made their way between my legs... "It's so great..." Being seduced never felt so great... When he slowly pulled down my panties, I spread my legs for him as he gently caressed my vagina... Seeing him fingering me gently was such a turn on... And when he gently kissed my neck again, I whispered quietly in his ear again... 'Would you hump me...?' 'Hump you...?' 'Yes...?'

He smiled when I asked him that... Of course, it doesn't happen every day that someone asks you to hump her... But nevertheless, he took off his jogging pants and I saw his boxershorts were bulging of the erection he had... Hehehe, he was laughing nervously when I looked at his boner... But he positioned himself between my legs again and rubbed his erection against my pussy... Over and over again... Oh, I enjoyed it alright... He chuckled when I joked to him that it reminded me of something... Everything just started to loose up for me... I wasn't feeling nervous anymore... I loved it... And that nervous feeling just seeped away like that while we were joking around... Getting humped by him felt great for the both of us... And at some point, I asked him... 'Do you have any condoms...?' 'Yeah... I got strawberry flavoured ones...'

He opened the drawer of his nightstand and got out a condom... He pulled his boxershort down, carefully ripped the package and rolled it over his penis... And then he got on top of me again, gently prodding his tip in me while he caressed my clitoris... It took a moment before he gently pushed through... But when he did, I gasped quietly... He started to thrust rather gently at first while he whispered in my ear how beautiful I am... And it made me feel special, you know...? My gasping and sighing turned into quiet moans the longer he went in and out... I never imagined that it could feel so great... Blain started to go a little faster at some point while I heard his breathing became louder... And all of a sudden, he whimpered quietly and stopped while he was catching his breathe... 'W-What, so soon...?' 'Y-Yeah... Wow...'

And with that, he pulled out and removed his condom and threw it in the bin... He was so exhausted and even though it was great, it was over way too soon... He pulled his boxershorts back on and got on top of me again while caressed the back of his head... 'So... What'd you think...? Was I any good...?' 'You're asking me for feedback...? Hehehe... I loved it... Could've last a bit longer though...' 'Uh, well...' 'No worries... There's always a next time...' 'N-Next time...?' 'Hm-mm... If you still want to, that is...' 'Heh...'

Was it awkward and strange that it happened like that...? Yes, of course it was... Whenever I did it, we always had foreplay... But this was nothing like I ever experienced before. It's safe to say that I enjoyed it, even though it didn't last long... All this time, I waited for it to happen and now that it did, I wasn't really so sure what to think of it... "That's it...?" And even though it was a quickie, I was still glad that it happened because I finally knew how it would feel like... And I figured we'd take all the time in the world... It certainly was different than doing it with a girl... Everything was just so special about him... And I didn't regret a thing... 'You know, Blain...?' 'Hm...?' 'I think I can get used to this...' 'Hehe...'

It only lasted for like, ten minutes tops but... It didn't felt like ten minutes. I felt very strange afterwards but in a good way... As if some changes are supposed to be a good thing... And even though I don't give myself easily to someone like that, I couldn't really picture Blain and me having an "official" relationship. It really made me think why I wasn't able to have a normal relationship, like everyone else have. Then again, my relationships never were normal. So what exactly was I doing wrong...? Why can't I settle to be with someone, why do I always have to find someone else as well...? It's always been like that and I thought that it always would be like that. Still... If everyone was happy with it, then why couldn't I be happy...?

How can you express your feelings to someone you love the most...? How can you let them know that they're so special to you that you can't express it in words...? I always thought that it was impossible and I've always let the very few people I love the most know about it the only way I ever learned when I was younger. But right now, when I think about it, does it really matter to express it in that way...? Who's gonna tell me otherwise...? I believe no one ever will because no one knows besides my mates... Does that make me a slut...? No, I don't think it does... Because in the end, I'm the one who chose my mates... People on the outside don't have to know about it because it's none of their business. Whenever I was with Samantha, it felt as if there was something missing and I didn't really know what. I thought I found it when I slept with Blain that night but I couldn't help but to think that there was something missing as well... So what exactly was I missing...? Good question... And I thought it was time to figure that out... As to the missing keys...? Well, let's just say I found them again the next morning in my purse...