Ch 2: First Crush
A First For Everything Ch 2: First Crush copyright 2011, comidacomida
To be honest, I don't think I was even a blip on the radar for my freshman year in high school. I suppose in the long run it's not as bad as being at the bottom of the "popularity food chain", but when getting noticed is the be-all-end-all of life the fact that a lot of the people I had classes with didn't even know my name really didn't do much for me. No recognition isn't the end of the world, I guess... I mean, I saw what the jocks did to the unpopular ones, so I guess flying under the radar isn't all bad.
Despite the fact that I went mostly unnoticed I still had a few other students that liked to harass me, but in the scheme of things I think I handled it pretty well. Rita warned me ahead of time that high school was a harsh place but, then again, her experiences were a LOT different than mine (for one, I wasn't going to get pregnant at ANY age, let alone 17). Rosey helped just as much by letting me know that anyone who bothered me was most likely looking for a response and the best thing I could do was to ignore them.
While the Juniors and Seniors spent most of their time looking to pick on the nerds, fat kids, poor kids, and geeks, I really wasn't any of those... I just had a little bit of trouble fitting in. Since I didn't exhibit any of the usual choice-attributes for mockery I got away with evading most of the ridicule... except for my tail. Thanks to this little sucker I ended up getting a nickname that followed me through senior year. Considering my already human-like name, I've always spent my life going by Sullivan... or Sully. To be honest, though, I'd rather not be called Sully (Rita and JD get away with). Honestly, given a choice between "Sully" and the nickname I got as a freshman, I'd rather go by Sully.
Anyway, like I said before, my tail used to be a really big deal to me and that was because of all the grief I got over it. All the way through school I was used to everyone using my normal name which, yea, is kind of rare for most Dogs, but it worked for me. In high school things changed when a group of "popular kids" took to calling me 'Kuma'. For any fans of the Japanese language out there, I'm told that Kuma means 'bear'. It caught on fast enough and soon even the teachers were calling me Kuma.
It wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world, I guess, except that the nickname wasn't based in Japanese-- it was actually initials: Q.M.A., which stood for "Question Mark Ass". See this tail? Remind you of anything? Yea... so all through high school I got made fun of for this bottle brush. I was happy enough just skating through classes without being noticed, but no matter what I did everyone always wanted to point out when Kuma was making his way down the hallway. The worst was a Great Dane named Dane (original, I know), who thought it was the funniest thing in the world... but, then again, I guess everything's pretty funny to a stoner.
I really didn't plan on turning this into a bitch-session, so I guess I'd better get on with what I really wanted to go over: first crushes. Now, I've heard stories about first loves being the be-all-end-all of life... someone so profoundly perfect for you that you get it right the first time and live happily-ever-after, and all that... but I'm a bit too much of a realist to think that's how things really work. Except for JD and Jason I don't think I've ever heard of a high school crush turning into something life long, and if you were to listen to them during a heated argument you might assume that 'life long' would be at an end before dinner.
Anyway, the whole point of my rambling introduction is to say that I wasn't really much of anybody in high school. Based on the stories I've heard over the years, not to mention the countless teen-romance flicks that got shoved down my throat during movie dates, one thing I've learned is that unpopular guys usually end up developing a thing for a popular girl. Though I hate the thought that I spent my high school years being a stereotypical unpopular guy, my first crush was on a girl named Nicole and, as you can imagine, at first she didn't know I existed.
To be honest, I'm really not sure what attracted me to her. She was blond, with really mind-blowing green eyes... the kind that just POP in the sunlight. She always wore a smile, and she was friendly to just about everyone... a real Ms. Popularity. She was outgoing and friendly, sure, and was one of the VERY few people who didn't call me Kuma (but yes, she DID call me Sully), but I never really thought that my first school boy crush would be on a human. I think my mom would have freaked if I told her so, obviously, I didn't.
Really what it comes down to, I guess, is that I had trouble relating to most people since more of them than not didn't know I existed. The ones that did usually didn't really know anything about me, which is partly my fault, I guess since I didn't really put myself out there. When I think about it, the one reason why I was so attracted to Nicole was that she made absolutely no attempt to hide that she was into dating dogs. Maybe ten or twenty years before we were in high school it would have been a huge deal, but in the 2000s it was just another one of those tres chic things to do, and Nicole really capitalized on that.
The surprising thing, I guess, was that she chose, believe it or not, the captain of the chess club-- an asthmatic pug named Pierce (though the going rumor was that his full name was "Mama's Precious Boy"... poor guy). While most everyone at school figured that'd pretty much destroy Nicole's popularity it actually seemed to do the exact opposite and Nicole made student body president. Things weren't bad for Pierce either, making him quite the babe magnet... especially once Nicole started talking about how great he was in bed.
It was the second or third month of my Sophomore year when Pierce and Nicole both went their separate ways. I suppose I could offer up any of the seemingly important reasons why they chose to call it quits, but we ARE talking about a high school relationship here, so what it really amounts to is that they weren't right for each other... that, and Pierce couldn't get over the fact that he was suddenly so desirable. Needless to say, I kinda considered that to be my cue to make a move... not that I actually did. Nah... I just sat there on the sidelines while Nicole moved on from Pierce to Regalo-del-Dios.
Popularity-wise, I guess he was a pretty good choice in boyfriends too; Dios was the football team's quarterback, and one of the most popular Dogs at school. He came from a pretty well-off family, he was athletic, he had a long line of admirers, but, before Nicole, he hadn't exactly had a girlfriend... probably because, and I'm not saying it to be mean, but Dios was ugly. That isn't to say that he didn't have his good points, but, aesthetically, he really WAS unpleasant to look at. I'm probably not the world's best judge of how good guys look, but the fact that he made it all the way through his freshman year without a girlfriend as a quarterback pretty much backs up my point of view... at least in my opinion.
A lot of Boston Terriers are acknowledged for having the weird angles to their ears, the blunt noses, and the bug-eye look to them (if you're a Boston Terrier don't take offense, it's just my own observation), but Dios' features were almost comical. I'm not going to dwell on it... I'm just saying that he wasn't exactly the most good-looking guy on the team. Even so, Nicole ended up going out with him so, by the time the middle of Sophomore year came around and they broke up, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had a chance... even the smallest one almost seemed to be worth reaching for, especially after visiting JD in New York. I guess I'd better back up a little and go over that because, well... that's kinda important, ya'know.
About five or six weeks before my winter break, Rita managed to track down JD-- apparently she'd been trying for a few years. She'd been attending A.A. and she was moving onto the step about apologizing for all the stuff she'd done to people and she was really trying to make it work. I'd just got back from school and I heard Rita and Rosey talking in the kitchen. Rita was obviously upset, and Rosey was trying to calm her down.
"I'm sure it's not that bad dear." my nanny noted, gently patting Rita's paw as the two sat across from each other at our small, round dinner table.
"He hung up." Rita stated, covering her her face with her paws and sighed.
"Maybe you should try calling back." Rosey asked patiently, "Might have been an accident."
"It wasn't an accident... he hates me... I know it." my mother responded, bursting into tears. By that time I was in the kitchen.
"Who?" I asked.
"Your mom found JD in the New York phone directory." Rita explained.
I dropped my book bag, "What happened?" I asked (yea... after hearing she found JD I forgot what they were JUST talking about... you would have too).
"He hung up." Rita said, picking up the phone again. She pressed redial and waited with the phone up to the side of her head. Her ears raised when someone apparently answered on the other side, "Hello..." she said into the receiver, "I... think we got disconnected. This is JD's mom again..." her ears fell to the sides of her head and it was pretty obvious that she was uncomfortable.
She nodded at the response, "I completely understand." she acknowledged, continuing to nod as she wiped a tear from her eye, "Can... maybe I could at least leave my number for him... just in case?" She nodded to herself as whoever was talking to her from the other end. After several nods she spoke up, "Is he doing okay?" and she nodded at the short response, "I... was hoping to talk to JD. He doesn't want to talk to me does he?" and she wiped away another tear at the response. I saw hear ears blush when she asked her next question, "You're that same boy he was with from school... aren't you?"
Rita continued nodding to herself... she always seemed to do that when she was on the phone, and then added, "Please take good care of him." wiping away another tear, she disconnected.
"And?" Rosey asked softly, reaching to take hold of my mother's paw in one of hers.
"He still hates me." my mother said.
"Did you get to talk to JD?" I asked. Looking back I can see that was another stupid statement, but, again, I remind you that I had JUST heard that my mom got back in touch with JD after a long time, "Maybe it was a different JD?"
"No..." Rita answered, "That's the right JD... I...." I saw her ears turn even redder, "I spoke with his boyfriend."
I'd love to tell you how that single statement blew my mind and changed everything I ever thought I knew about the world but, to be honest, we're talking about my teenage years-- I'd seen and heard plenty of crazy stuff and, besides, even though JD HAD been a big part of my life, my attention was really focused more on my own situation and my interest in Nicole. Yea... that interest got me into quite a few strange situations-- mostly during school.
There was this one time, for example, when I was in social studies class (it was the only class I shared that year with Nicole) and I was watching her play with her hair. Some Dogs have manes, which is cool and all, but it still isn't human hair. Really, that's more a novelty than anything else-- some Burb Dogs are really into human hair but since I'm not a Burb Dog I guess it doesn't exactly have the same draw for me. Either way, the way she was playing with her hair while listening to Mr. Baker talk made me think of those sappy romance movies that Rosey always loved watching.
After my imagination put two and two together the only thing I could think about was me playing the lead male and Nicole being the lead female, and all of these different situations we might find ourselves. I had daydream after daydream through most of the class; at one point we were swinging across a wide chasm in the amazon, one of my paws gripping a vine, my other arm wrapped around her waist as her boobs almost fell out of her torn-up blouse (ever notice in movies how it's the female lead that ends up wearing the explorer's shirt with too-few buttons... not that I'm complaining).
That rolled right into my next fantasy where were on the shore, laying on our sides with her in my arms. Her hand held the side of my muzzle as her nose touched mine lovingly. The afternoon sun was setting far out to sea as she pressed her lips to my muzzle and my paw gripped her butt, giving her a soft squeeze so that she knew I wasn't wanting it to end at a kiss. She whispered to me that she loved me and I told her that my life wasn't complete without her. We renewed the kiss as our legs were caressed by the surf (which isn't really all that hot if you think about it... I mean... that water is COLD... and there's nothing sexy about suffering from a freezing, soaked crotch, right?).
My third fantasy was probably brought on by overhearing too many Dungeons and Dragon sessions some of the students played in the library while I studied; I posed heroically, a valiant knight with one foot atop the unmoving head of some generic fantasy beast while Nicole, dressed in one of those impossibly designed medieval dresses with a laced bodice, hung off my leg, each breath hinting that at any moment she was going to have a 'wardrobe malfunction', and she gazed up at me, hero-worship in her eyes, and she spoke clearly, "Sully... I need you."
"Of course you do," I mused in my most seductive, heroic voice, "We're meant to be together."
"I mean for a project partner." she answered, shattering my daydream and immediately making my tail tuck as I was drawn into the real word; I'd actually said that aloud. Nicole was standing in front of me, binder tucked under one arm, pencil held in the other; she tapped the eraser against her thigh as she regarded me, "God, you're one weird Dog." Needless to say, I wanted to be just about anyone else at that moment, "It's kinda cute though." she chuckled, and, needless to say I was so very glad that I was myself at that moment.
During my brain's picnic, Mr Baker had finished his lecture and told everyone to pair up; since we had an even number of humans and Dogs in the classroom he specifically wanted everyone to pair up: one Dog and one Human. Seeing as I was so busy paying attention to my own imagination and Nicole was never very quick to respect the requests of teachers, we ended up being group members by default; I remember feeling like I was the luckiest Dog in class.
I can't remember for the life of me what the project was, but everything about the project just SHOUTED Dog + Human = awesome. It might have been some study about the cultural union that developed when the Romans conquered the Dog tribes of the north and assimilated them into the Roman Empire... or maybe I'm just thinking about my Western Civ class from college and not my high school history class-- heck, I dunno... but what I DO remember was spending my time with Nicole trying to act cool without making googly eyes or wagging excessively. I think I failed on all three counts.
Either way, after that one project partnership, I was hooked. After that point I pretty much lived and breathed Nicole. I started spending free time finding out what she liked, and what she didn't like. I wanted to know everything about her in case it ever came up that I would have a chance to make my move-- she dated dogs, right? So why not me? When the next opportunity to group up during History class I promised myself that I was going to ask her to be my partner. One week passed... then two... then, just a little while before winter break, we had one final two-student project assigned in class. I told myself that I was going to ask her but, when Mr. Baker told us to find our partners I chickened out... yea... in high school when it came to girls I had no balls. Get this though: she asked Me to be HER partner. Cool, right?
Maybe I read into it a bit, or maybe there really were signs that she was interested. In the back of my mind I kept thinking that she was Dios' girlfriend and that she wouldn't REALLY be interested in me, especially with things going so well for them. Looking back, I realize that she was pretty much slapping me across the muzzle with her hints but, as the class period came to a close, she made it really damn clear when she said, "You know, Sully... I don't think I want to go out with Dios anymore." That snapped me out of my mind games. "Really?" I asked, "Why?"
She shrugged, "I guess maybe he doesn't make me feel important... I think I'm just a trophy to him."
"But he's the quarterback!" I argued... I still have no idea why I was defending him when she was practically throwing herself at me.
"I'm not with him for the popularity... duh!" she laughed, "It's not like I don't have plenty of that on my own." I really wasn't sure what to say about that... I mean... she knew a lot more about popularity than I did, obviously.
"Well... maybe you should tell him how you feel?" I asked.
She giggled at that, "Yea... talk with him..." she rolled her eyes, "Nah... he doesn't want to talk. All he ever wants is sex."
I remember staring at her mouth when she spoke. I saw a football-style instant replay going through my head again and again with her lips saying that three letter word, echoing it inside my brain until she snapped me out of it with a pat on my paw, "Nah... I really just need to find someone more like you." she said with a smile. If the word 'sex' gave me a heart attack, her saying that she needed someone like me dug the grave, put down the tombstone, and gathered together the 'dearly beloved', because I practically dropped dead right there.
To this day, I still don't think I could figure out how to spell the sound I made, but all the eyes in class ended up on me. Thankfully, the embarrassment didn't last TOO long-- Dane called from across the room, asking if I sat on my balls. Everyone laughed and Mr. Baker gave Dane detention. Class continued as if there hadn't been a huge interruption, but I really don't remember anything else other than staring at Nicole, and her occasionally looking my way, smiling each time she saw me watching her. Human girls blush in such a cute way.
I'm gonna say it again just in case there's any confusion: I'm not a Burb Dog and I wasn't one in high school... but what I WAS in high school was a teenager... which meant that I wasn't so picky as to differentiate between human and Dog when someone was talking about sex, and then threw me into the equation. Yea... I know... looking back I can tell it's a pretty big stretch to connect the two from our conversation, but it's a pretty direct line when you're a teenager... and that direct line made me even more certain that we belonged together for life.
That would have to wait, unfortunately, because winter vacation was coming up and a LOT had happened with the possibility of JD reentering my life; I was going to New York for a week-- further away from Nicole, but she'd be waiting for me when I got back... I hoped.