FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Summary: The world is in trouble, somewhere in the future. The Eevees and their marvellous flying machines have come to take our homelands, yipes! The fate of mankind and pokemon alike hang in the balance. A saviour shall rise, and yeah she will kick ass and save your asses. Maybe destroy us all in the process, who knows?

Story Notes: Warning this fic includes bad language, with explicit comical sexual scenes.

Categories: Female (Solo), Male/Female

Characters: Eevee and Evolutions, Proteus

Pokémon/Gender: Eevee-M

Warnings: Bestiality/Zoophilia, Violence (not in sex)

Rating: XXX

Goals for story-

This is a comic style fic

1. No big words allowed!

2. No heavy descriptions!

3. Simple plot!

4. Prove that its down to the characters that carry a story, not vibrant writing!

5. Create a silly super hero that's a complete air head.

6. Get a beta to take out accidental big words and vivid descriptions!

7. Make it outlandish and ridiculous!

8. Have fun writing it!

9. Make sure she gets to have lots of sexual interaction and fun!

I wanted to go for absurdity, stupidity, and all out goofy fun, so here you have it.

Prologue

--o-O-o--

Where did Eevee's come from? Were they always on Mars and came to Earth, or were they sling-shot into space when Arceus got bored and landed there? Ah well who cares, they terraformed the planet and now live there. These Eevee's were big purple ones, they look like the regular ones, just they walk on two legs, talk and have big dicks.

Day 1

-May 4th 3011 AD-

The ultimate humanoid weapon was created. In appearance she was like every other young human woman, but very pretty, yeah super hot tanned, and with pointy, always erect nipples! The Eevee's knew they needed something to pilot their new power suit and a human would be the best suited. The human body design along with having fingers which were considered to be generally useful, was a little more diverse at tasks. Her secondary directive being the ultimate pleasure relief, able to adapt to many sizes, -any hung like rapidashes out there?- She floated, unconscious and nude, in a big fish tank, being monitored for defects.

Day 2

-May 5th 3011 AD-

The human pilot was code-named Project 'One Crazy Fics Admin' although no one had any idea why such a name would be chosen. The subject was subconsciously fed battle routines, and combat actions to prepare her to take out earths best defences, and leave them crippled. She was to be the first strike unit.

Day 3

-May 6th 3011 AD-

The alien Eevee's also need on board maintenance and services for their hot sticky humping while on away missions. Sex programs and popular earth cultures like porn where implanted to her subconscious. Hey even alien Eevee's get horny!

Day 4

-May 7th 3011 AD-

The Eevee's went on strike, as all privileges of SOFURRY and AGNPH were revoked. Yeah this was due to those pervs ending up with with repetitive wrist strain injuries, and calling in sick so often. Hopefully the new weapon would resolve the issue with her second role. With this coming to light, the Eevee high council offered free use of her when she went live as a means to end the strikes.

Day 5

-May 8th 3011 AD-

Day off, the Eevee's weekend break, so they went to ballroom dance, and read ficts, mostly fap ficts. They also decided she had one heck of a good lucky pussy, but why shouldn't she, they made her the way she'd be desirable to any species after all. So they took a few snap shots and send them into Mars' Cutest Pussy Of The Year and made the cut of deadline by one min.

Day 6

-May 9th 3011 AD-

The young specimen was loaded with all the languages in the whole wide universe, way cool. The human clone also got awarded Mars' cutest pussy, but the Eevees had to collect it in her absence, they bloody well couldn't send her could they? Don't be daft!

Day 7

-Today Wahoo now that was boring on with the action now! The story begins POW!-

_Z_

Starring in

MECHA GO BOOOM

• The Invasion of the Alien Eevee'z! -

• Chapter 1-

--o-O-o--

Drifting along on Mars, an alien ship the size of the whole of Sinnoh, floated somewhere in the pinky orange cloudy stuff, but yeah in the sky. . . . .

"AHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!" A crazed human girl blasted through the hull of the ship suddenly. KABOOOM! Flames erupted from the explosion, leaving smoke to trail, as she spun to land on top of the alien battle-cruiser. She stood upright and proud, the wind causing her hair to wash behind her in the air like blue waves. Striking a pose, with her fists placed on either side of her hips, she seemed kinda proud of herself from what it appeared. From the mid thighs down, her back, as well as her arms, were covered and protected with armor that had bore some scruffs. Open down the front, only the browns of her nipples where hidden behind shiny blue and white metallic bands, and same for her nether modesty, mostly nude. Kicking the hull of the ship, the lively young thing blasted to ascend upwards with the propulsion from her airplane-like mecha wings. Blue after-burn scorched the sky behind her, and turning full circle, she awaited her pursuers pulling her steam punk goggles up her head.

"Come on you freaky little alien Eevee poopsy'z! Bring it on, I'm so awesome, you scum of Marz! You're gonna get it. POW!" Several purple Eevee's bearing two antennas on their foreheads, surfaced with their jet packs to float ahead of her. Her hair flapped harshly like a flag in the heavy gales at their altitude.

Buzzing in the air the Eevee captain shouted out. "We'll take it easy on you if you return with the mecha suit. We'll even stop invading that planet. Sounds good huh?" Smiling, she thrust her hand out, and held her forearm, whilst placing her finger over dot that began glowing on her blue armor glove; a trigger of sorts. "She's going to use the 'Bliss Make Me Happy' ray! Evasive action everyone!"

"Actually no, I just wanted to pose because I'm so sexy, here's your answer though!" She flicked the middle finger at them provocatively. "You know you love me." Cheekily she winked and blew a kiss before blasting off. The Eevee's began to give chase letting the heavy winds flutter their ears. "Wahooo Time to go light speed byes!"

"Retrieve the prototype Mecha at all costs and without damage!" but it was too late, with a sparkle in the air, and a wriggle of her ass, she activated the light-drive and was long gone.

--o-O-o--

Moments later somewhere else in space, and on a planet that twinkled with blues....

A white Pokemon raced along the roof tops. Legend foretold him as the never ending, and mythology held truth as he was a being sought throughout all our remembered history. His life was a sad song of years past. This pokemon himself was an immortal creature hunted for a ability that no other possessed.

The poor thing was being chased by an angered mob who finally had been given an opportunity to claim eternal life. Jumping from the tall towering buildings to the ledges, he finally descended with great speed and agility. The rare white Pokemon panted while eventually spinning off the solar street light to firmly land on the concrete.

In his attempt to ditch them, he turned down the first narrow alley way. Hearing a loud crash he caught sight of laser fire coming from around the distant corner of the dark ally. It was a second later he spotted some human running towards him. From what he could see she was wearing a metal outfit of sorts. The young woman wasn't paying too much attention to him, as her eyes were peeled behind her.

"Wait wait wait! Watch out!" He yelled.

The two collided into one another with a loud -boink-

"Ouch! you stupid vappy fuzzball! Watch where your going, oh . . . hmmm you're...." The girl reached out grabbing the white Vaporeon by the hind leg, lifting him up. The little guy tried swatting her, but uselessly suspended he couldn't do much. "You're a white Vappy, and soooooooooooo super cute! Who dipped you in bleach? Had an accident half-pint?"

"Let go, they're after me! You're one of them? You're after me too."

"No they're after me, and what would anyone want with a bleach accident anyway?" The girl prodded the white Vaporeon giggling, but quickly let go, dropping him upon hearing the purple alien Eevee's rush around the corner. "Crap my afterburners need two more minutes to charge."

The girl turned to look back, but as she turned from them she intended to dash away but stopped. On the opposite side, an army of humans with capture nets and tranquilizer guns seemed to cut her path. Surrounded from both sides it seemed like she was trapped.

"Oh what did you do shortie?" Confused he looked up at her.

"What? Nothing I am cursed to forever hold time to infinity!" She scratched her head equally as confused, before her eyes lit up sparkling.

"That's so cute, super adorable! But seriously small fry, what did ya doosey?"

"Huh? Nevermind."

The evil Eevee captain broke away from his party of pursuers and shouted out his demands, "MechaChick surrender and come back or we'll have to use force!"

She started giggling, as she turned to the Vaporeon.

"Looks like we are in a sticky situation Vappy thing. On one side alienz on the other, the Sunday Vappy roast club. I'm going to have to go boom boom." She held out her wrist as if she was going to use her wrist mounted ray gun, "Die Poop Heads! PEW PEW PEW!"

The Vaporeon just stared at her blankly while she made shooting sounds.

"What are you doing?"

"Shooting the bad guys, PEW PEW PEW!"

"You're not firing anything?"

"Hmmm yeah but I make cool sound effects."

"Why me? Arceus of all the idiots I could be with in this moment, why her? Have I not suffered enough?"

"Hush you gloomy little Vap, smile and copy me, you'll feel just as awesome as me, do what I do!" She jumped onto a trash can and faced the dozen purple aliens, "Your mama! You butt ugly Eeveez! Go suck on your daddyz cock!" Turning to the Vaporeon she smiled, "See, now you try it?"

"Oh my sweet Arceus we're so going to die, and you're pissing them off? Use one of those guns on your skinny little armor, and why is it so skimpy from you neck to your you know what?"

"I dunno, I just stole it, still figuring it out"

"What, stole it, you're a thief?"

"Hell no! I am no mere thief! I am the most awesome thing ever you know. Now watch this! It'll scare them away and save us!!!!"

"Err...." He had no idea what to reply with, so he just observed her.

"EVERYONE!!!! I am MechaChick! The most awesome space babe of them all!" She paused to rub her chin, pondering on her statement. "Or will be one day, so stuff You All! and your tiny pee pee'z ya bunch of Tepigz with big ears! You're going to have to kill us both before we give up!"

"Talk for yourself I'm immortal."

"HEHEeheh you're so cute when you're silly, first you say I'm going to get us killed now you say you're immortal? That's adorable. I like day dreaming too. POW!"

"I can die and be reborn again, but its still painful!"

A little light blinked on her forearm, "Way AweSome basic thrusters have come on line. Now hold on pipsqueek, we're going for a ride."

Without giving the poor Vaporeon even a chance to prepare himself, she grabbed hold of him by the tail and dragged him to her. He felt his back press onto her chest. At least he had pillows for his travels. Her wing mounted thrusters began to hum, glowing behind her as they charged up to full power.

Like a popping champagne cork she accelerated into the sky. ZOOOOOoooooooooooom and away she flew!

Looking on the floor where MechaChick previously was, the purple Eevee spotted something. Bending down, he picked up a round device the size of a coin.

"Crap the tracking beacon has come off, we'll never find her now!" He said in defeat.

The Eevee beside him looked at him questioningly, "Cap, why didn't we build it into the suit, wouldn't that have made sense?"

"You should know better than that. Power suits can't have transmitters in them. That makes them too easy to track."

"But then why did we stick that tracker on then?"

The Eevee captains eyes flamed up as he shouted back.

"I don't know, ask your mom!"

--o-O-o--

The sun beamed down to glaze over her armor like a wet sucked lollipop. It was that kind of shininess, or maybe a massage oiled pussy! Anyhow, she kept low to avoid detection as she flew at great velocity between the sea that divided Kanto and Sinnoh. The water parted with how close she was to it. Protues did notice something in her eyes, as she was lost for a moment. He knew what it was. It was the same thing he felt, loneliness. The duo raced along at rapid pace as she hit through the sound barriar, his mouth flapping open catching the wind, and inflating his cheeks as he yelled.

"ARGHHHHHhhhhhh."

Her speed was still increasing, and his ears were howling. He couldn't really understand what her story was, but one thing he did know was at least was saved from the angry mob. Although he was curious to ask what she'd done, he had to yell with all the wind deafening the poor vap.

"So why have you got a bunch of Alien Eevees after you?" It seemed strange but then again so did she.

She snapped out of deep thought shaking her head. "Oh right, yeah that . . . . Well I was created in a test tube, implanted with lots of useless info and cloned from the most amazing bandit that ever lived, and designed to pilot this thing! Then conquer this planet so the poop headz could rule, and have lotsa love hole poking!"

He gave a frown looking up at her, was she having a joke?

"What... seriously? How old are you anyway?" She seems so immature for her age.

"Yeah its my birthday today, I'm a whole week old MWahahahaha! I iz evilz O'Mecha supreme! I know everything in the whole wide world oh yeah!" He noticed her modesty also seemed to fall short of any grace.

"A week? That would explain it, and you know everything? Hardly plausible!" Definitely a little ego there he thought to himself.

"Hmm They put lots of information in my head to destroy humans and Pokemon, and I know all about cultures too because I'm so clever! Really incredibly, super duper smart! I swear!"

That brought a smile to his face, almost causing him to laugh aloud, but in disbelief he commented trying to keep a straight face, "You could have fooled me."

"Hmmm I'm MechaChick, nice to meet you bleach-berry!" She said cheerily, and blinking a few times.

His smile quickly faded, as a big vain throbbed in his head.

"I've not been bleached! My names not bleach-berry its Proteus!" He stammered, almost in a strut.

"Prot ee whatsy? where does it come from? Porn-te-er-us, porn, pornotu po.... whatever."

He gave a sigh of resignation and took a deep breath to gain some composure over himself, as it wasn't like him to blow up, but could he be blamed with such a airhead thwarting his patience ?

"Its hard to believe you can't pronounce my name, but if I tell you, it'll just go over your head."

"TELLSY!!!!!! PoW! I iz smart!" she energetically said, almost spiralling out of control and dropping him. Luckily she kept hold of him.

"Don't drop me, I like water, but I hate salt water! Its havoc on the skin you know.... but alright I'll tell you if you stay quiet a moment." He paused to see if she was even paying attention, as she glared at him wide bug eyed, "Alright then, did you know that name originated in an ancient Greek language, which was mostly symbolic, approximately around two-hundred signs to form the alphabet?"

"Yup I so knew that, so cool, I know everything, yeah I'm brainy."

"Not finished yet, ....and then divided into syllabic signs with phonetic values and ideograms that depicted their semantic values. The name itself from there becomes Protos meaning first, and evolved to Proteus."

"WOooo I so knew that!" She nodded really self assured as if she believed it herself.

"Sure you did." he said raising an eye.

"Its true because I already told you, I'm awesome! Check this out- sally-iva signz mean you like licking, and Porn-epic values means you're a epic porn star. Whatsy why are you looking at me funny all this is true you know? Porn-te-er-us, porn, pornotu po.... whatever. Semen antics values means you like messy cum and lots of it in your movies, and and and Porn-tos meaning first like you cum before your partner, but I'll help you out with stamina if you like so don't get down on that. We all have problems that embarrass us!"

"I told you it'd go over your head." She scratched her head, making a goofy expression laughing.

"I likz this planet! Its got cute fluffy thingz like youz!"

"So you're going to conquer the world then?"

"Nah I like it! Too lazy for that, I just want to play! I made a plan. Want to hear it?" He felt a little relief as she was going to probably fail at that anyway. Besides he didn't want to be a unwilling passenger if she decided to not release him.

"Sure why not? It's not like I have a choice."

"Okay here's the coolest plan ever. I save the world, get real famous, and everyone will love me! Then I be a porn star like you!" Now he wished he said no to hearing her. What kind of dumb ass plan was that? He was feeling a little more angry and would bite her in a moment.

"I'm not a porn star damn it!"

"You said you were before!"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did!" She nodded instantly, like a dashboard doggy thing that bobs its head through the rear window of a car.

"No I didn't, you made that up!"

"Yes you did did did, and you said you cum first!" She bobbed her head energetically up and down again with rapid movement.

"Gah I give up! You're so annoying!" He took a deep breath to calm down.

Regardless of her weird way of thinking and obnoxious personality, he knew she wasn't too bright. The upside at least was she was a little too vacant to take advantage of his rare condition. She wouldn't even know where to start to extract his immortal soul to live forever.

The coast of Kanto quickly came into the line of sight, the land on the golden sands rapidly growing bigger and bigger as they rushed towards it. Her wing flaps opened to slow their speed, coming into land.

"Err I never bothered learning the landing procedure, so brace yourself, haha!"

"You what?" A moment later a loud thudding sound came, along with the two of them bouncing and rolling around the ground "OWWwww!!!" Shaking his head he looked around seeing MechaChick flat with her face planted on the sand. Feeling some concern for her he rushed over immediately, after all despite the idiot she is, she had saved his ass.

The skinny short stuff sat up, "Arrhhh my head go spinny spinny...."

"Well you did just crash and bounced more than a beach ball. I'm surprised you aren't dead." His muzzle combed through her, whilst he scanned her over with his eyes at the same time. "Are you alright?"

She nudged him off giggling, "Just peachie!" Crawling on all fours she seductively wiggled her hiny over to Proteus. The sexy blue haired girl puckering her lips and held her ground. "Right give me a wet one as I saved your ass! Reward time bleach boy!"

"I'm not bleached damn it, and no, as long as your alive its all that matters."

"Fine, but your the one that's missing out, I am designed for pleasure as the second directive. I can release cock hardening pheromones from my pussy when I get horny that will seduce any species, anyway I'm confused again...."

"Now what?"

"Well I am suppose to destroy Earth's defences and leave them crippled, I mean how cool would it be if I decide to beat my masters, and this planet too. Way AWESOME! Yeah, that would so be cool, and you can be my bitch and feed me grapes and fan me."

"...." He just glared at her, with not even as little as a comment.

"Whatsy? I iz evilz, and evilz iz I.... POW!"

"You're not evil enough, rather lacking a brain, and not to mention you're going to get yourself killed."

"No I'z the ultimate weapon!, Change of plan again, I don't like that idea anymore I think I'll stick to saving this world, for now. I love this planet, so I'll protect it!"

"How are you planning to save the world anyway?"

She reached to the side of her forearms as a little panel opened and pulled out something, a tiny little gun the size of a quarter, she stood on her knee's making her breasts jiggle. She started moving flapping her arms around, into different poses, and even rolled around on the sand mimicking shooting positions.

"PEW PEW PEW! I am going to charge up my teenie weenie twinky cannon, point it, KABOOOM! All alienz dead! Wooo game over MechaChick wins, isn't it a super cool tiny gun?!"

"Seriously, that thing will hardly dent anything, is that the best you got?"

"No its awsome, honest!"

"MechaChick is a mouthful, have you got a real name? Not some stupid title?"

"Errr hmm never thought of having one of them."

"Alright I'll call you Z."

"Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z!!!!!" she chanted.

"Cut that out."

"Z!.... Z!.... Z!.... Z!.... Z!.... Z!.... Z!.... Z!.... Zeeeeeee!!!" she chanted again with a lot of cheer behind it.

"....."

"Whatsy? I was seeing how that sounds when the masses cheer me after I save their butts"

"Nevermind lets head our own paths." he said, fed up at this point.

She frowned at him, "But but.... we are friends now aren't we?"

"Friends? We only just met, besides you're nothing but trouble."

"Hmm you're my first friend so that makes you my coolest friend." She gave a big wide smile at him.

"Err, okay then.... but in all due respect, I'm off as I'd rather not be abused, take care of yourself, and best wishes."

"Okay take care, I'll manage! Hmm now for my rations, where are they?" She looked a little upset as she patted her thigh compartment of her power suit, she so fondly called mecha suit.

Proteus turned away from her, walking along the beach, somewhat relieved he managed to ditch her, but it did waver a little on his mind. It would be painful to die, but he'd return somewhere once more to be reborn, however if she died, then there would be no coming back. How the hell can she decide on a whim to risk her life to save a world she doesn't know? What kind of idiot is she?

He gazed back to look at her seeing her trying to eat a candy bar or something, chewing on the wrapper, and struggling with it. What a dimwit, he thought to himself. She doesn't even know how to eat.... He turned and continued to walk away, although his subconscious started to play up the further his four legs took him.

Sighing he turned with a little cry. "Gah!" he couldn't just leave her like that. If that moron didn't die from being shot up, crashing or something really stupid, she'd probably end up dying from starvation. His eyes widened, there was no one on the beach as it lay vacant without a soul. Where the heck was she? Could he really justify to himself that he left a baby to fend for herself? Okay she was hardly a baby but her mentality was pretty close.

--o-O-o--

Z wondered along discovering a sweet looking purrrty oasis, or something close anyway. Large coconut trees stood high around her, along with the niceties, of the tropical shrubs and plantations, even a cool pond like water place.... so neat! She stared up and giggled seeing the blue skies so bright and radiant. Lush shapes shifted above in the clouds, as she cried out, "Porntus!" She looked upon another cloud, and came up with the same conclusion, "Porntus!!!" they all looked like her new friend, she missed him already. Hearing splashing, she stopped looking to glance across the small pond. A strange looking squirtle thingy was relaxing in the water, he even wore sun shades!

"Hey squirt whats ya name?" she asked curiously.

"Mhm, its Smashbro, this is my crib babe. What's a human doing around here anyhows?"

"Dunno, just ended up here, and I made a friend today too POW!"

"That's nice babe, but whats your name though?"

"Hmmm I'm the most awesome sexy bitch this side of err.... where are we? Oh sorry yeah I'm the most awesome sexy fucktastic hottie from marz! The names MechaChick, but my name sucked so...." She paused sighing a moment "I miss my new friend, he gave me a real name."

"Oh? What's that?" he inquired all laid back, seeming stoned.

"Z!" she replied sniffing with a little sob, "but he left me."

She started to try chew on the wrapper of her ration, attempting to open it again. The squirtle raised his eyebrow watching her nom away at it without success.

"Hey want me to give you a hand? It'll cost you though, got anything?"

"Hmmm no...."

"Well come on down and sit next to me in the water anyway, we can chill out and watch the clouds."

"Sure, want to be friends?"

"Yeah why not."

She walked into the shallow pond and sat beside him waist deep in water, her head reclined, as she relaxed breathing in the crisp sea breeze that came in. It was something to be lost in, although not so comforting. Despite her super insane upbeat attitude she was in fact alone, and hungry.

"Hey Smashporn, can you teach me to eat this thing?"

"Its Smashbro but porn's always good too, and sure, pass it over."

It was that time in the evening that her pheromones released heavily. Designed to work on a multi species level, they slowly started to work away into the pond from between her legs. She noticed she was getting excited. Eight pm was Eevee recreational mating time for stress relief hence her sexual body clock worked to the way they wanted her to function, damn those bastards!

"Okay Smashporn, what do you think?"

"Hmmm its plastic, give me a sec to work it out. Its complex you know." Smashbro fumbled around with the wrapper but soon started to feel a certain stiffness between his legs. "You know, your not a bad looking girl for a human and all."

"Thanks, I'm the best!"

He looked at it turning it at different angles, "Eww you drooled all over it...."

"Open it, open, open!!!" she yapped excitedly.

"Calm down babe, this is a delicate operation sheesh! Okay I give! I can't do it." His own attention was drawn further south as he was feeling even hornier. His private little serpent was rearing its head from his tail. Whoa.... she was hot! "But, if you maybe give me a little incentive down there I'll gladly come up with a plan to open it for you? It helps me think."

"Sure why not, I guess its fair, and if it helps then cool. I'm SOOOOoooooooo hungry hurry alright?!" She shrugs and doesn't hesitate, running her hand down into the water. He raised a green brow, that was pretty easy. He felt her soft human hands take hold of his tapered head, and within a second, her touch had a crazy effect. His pale green shaft inflated full on and became so deliciously hard! Staring down she looked at his size. "Whoa.... I never seen one of these for real! That's one big dick ya got Smashporn!"

Feeling impressed he replied, "Yeah duh! Turtles have a pretty big penis ratio to body size, but you can play with it. It'll make me come up with the plan faster! That's if you... Hmm did anyone tell you, that you're beautiful? Shame its like too big for you tuts, there's no way you can manage to fit it in."

She scratched her head, a little confused. Too big?

"No I iz made for sexing, I can so fit it! I'm designed down there to take many different species. I'll show you, here!" She gripped his shaft firmly, as the pleasures rippled through. Smashbro started laughing, although she was further confused why he didn't believe her. "I'll prove it!"

"I ain't complaining babe, give it shot then, fuck why is my dick so hard!"

She stood up suddenly as water rushed from her, and towered above keeping his monster size cock held her her palms. Slowly she lined it up with her slippery serpent trap, and gave a voice command.

"Nether shield, retract!" The small piece that concealed her intimate folds disappeared behind her. Smashbro just stared at the golden skinned pussy which glistened in the sunlight, drooling.

Wow what a pussy he thought. Her pussy wasn't the only thing drooling as his tongue hung out. "Gah I'm going to be coming quickly, damn it...."

"Its okay Smashporn, we're all virgins at some point! So what if you suck at fucking. I bet that's why you must be so lonely here, and alone?" That hurt, but so true, squirtles never get the babes that blastoises do.... why did she have to be so blunt, bitch.

The bushes rustled as a white head popped through the bushes, it was Proteus. Confused he stared at her as she gave a goofy wide smile.

"I knew you would come back Porntus!"

The vaporeon was confused with what he saw, it wasn't registering. She was holding a huge erect dick! "Whats going on? Whats he doing to you?"

"This nice squirtle is helping me. I haz to put his pee pee inside to help him think of a way to open my ration pack." She made a sad face as her tummy grumbled.

Proteus didn't hang around, he charged Smashbro head on, within a moment the vaporeon's tail swept up along the ground, and very aggressively smacking Smashbro right in the face, knocking him skywards. The poor squirtle flapped him hands as the wingulls flew past him in formation. Trying to flap his arms harder still, he found it was no use. He descended quickly, the poor guy landing head first on a boulder with a loud whack! The boulder cracked quickly, splitting in two. Tears filled his eyes as he cried out.

"Ow Ow Ow!!! why do I always get the jealous friends, and never get lucky." Proteus ran up again and blasted him so hard with a mighty headbutt which sent him soaring into the sky and far distance, so far he's a speckle still going higher.

"Aww why did you do that? He was being nice and going to help me?" Z exclaimed pouting, Proteus just shook his his head in disbelief.

"He was taking advantage idiot, here...." With a quick swipe of his paw the wrapper sliced open. "Now lets go."

"That was way cool! You iz Schmarter than I thought. Want a blow job as thanks?"

"I'll pass...."

Something felt seriously off as the white vappy froze. The sky started to distort eerily, suddenly a millions Eevee faces flooded across the skies, and way into the blue yonder.

-THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT- Your time is up Earthlings, now we will..." The voice stopped, then turned to the side. "Wait. What? They... and... What kind of idiots can reach the moon, but can't even standardize their clocks?"

MechaChick and Proteus just stared at the sky blankly before the voice resumed.

"Alright. I've been informed that it's only 8:30 am in Rustboro City, so we will destroy that city tomorrow at 9 am after breakfast, and work our way around the world over the course of the next 24 hours... P.S. If MechaChick is surrendered we may not invade. We're placing a ten million gold piece bounty on her head, remember we said may.... Happy hunting."

"Ooooh Porntus I'll fly up there and zap em all! POW!" she said ecstatically.

"They'll serve you with baby carrots, and broccoli on the side, dimwit. You need a plan, but thinking isn't your strong point sooo.... I have a friend that may help."

"I like meeting people, whats his name?"

"Shiggy." he calmly replied.

"Shagme? Thats a cool name." Once again, she couldn't get names right, or was she doing it deliberately, he couldn't tell.

"No its pronounced Shiiiiiig eeeey" He said once more a little firmer, holding the tone of the letters a little longer to see if he could make it any clearer.

"Oh Shag you? okay I'll do it. You must be horny the way you said that, but its okay if your shy. I get to be on top though."

"I didn't say Shag me!" He exclaimed a little disgruntled.

"Yes you did." She said adamantly nodding quickly at him with a big wide smile.

"No I didn't!" He really wanted to throw in the towel at this point and admit it over the truth just to shut her up, but if he did that, he risked being molested probably.

"Yes you did did did! Porntus! You so want to fuck me, say it!!!" She said bouncing up and down, while her breasts jiggled.

"No you made that up too! Just like the porn star thing...." His frustration rising again.

Proteus wondered why he ever turned back for her. Why did he have to have a conscience? His paternal affections towards her now made for a long night as he was lumbered with her. Why Arceus why?

The End Of Chapter 1! Hope you all enjoyed it ^_^

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End Notes: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers op style=quot;Comic Sans MSmargin-bottom:0cm;/pf any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, and is applicable for all consecutive chapters that follow.

A big thanks to Guri for Beta efforts, and you for reading it!

If you want to view the artwork I made for MECHA GO BOOOM! You can check it out from my profile page.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.