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Two Dawns, or, Hauntings from the past, pleasures of the present

Eventually we disconnected though we still lay there together, such as we were. Eventually Peaches must have figured it was time for her to head to bed, as she padded off down the hall to her room without any provocation from me. I watched her go down the hall and pet Cleo's rump before pushing the button and using my legs to fold the footrest back down and swing that couch seat back to its usual position. I knelt down by Peaches' door and gave her a hug, then kissed her nosie before she jumped up onto one of the loafing shelves and rolled around a few times. Apparently that was how she wanted to sleep tonight, and so I shut the door, shutting her in for the evening.

When I returned to the end of the hall, Cleo was standing there, waiting for me. "You're curious about something?" I asked. She nodded. "Are you curious how that felt, to be mated under her tail like that?" Cleo haltingly nodded. I sat down on the couch and she laid across my lap. "Are you worried it'll hurt?" Cleo shook her head. "Are you worried it'll hurt your cubs?" Again, she shook her head. "Do you think you'll like it?" This brought a nod from her. I pet down her spine with my left hand as I scritched one of her ears with my right, considering my next question carefully. "Have you been mated under your tail before?" This brought a nod. "By a human?" I asked. She haltingly nodded. "Was it using some sort of device?" She nodded readily this time. "Have you been mated under your tail other than that time?" She nodded freely. "Was it by another lion?" She nodded and I pondered things. "Did it hurt either time?" She nodded again. "But you're not worried it'll hurt if I mate you under your tail?" She shook her head. Either she had tremendous trust in me, she figured it'd be alright, or her watching Peaches and I mating like that gave her some insight into our coupling.

That reminded me. "Cleo, were you able to tell Peaches just what I wanted earlier?" Cleo shook her head. I furrowed my brow. "Did you just figure that Peaches would become interested in what you were doing?" Cleo again shook her head. Hm... then how did she.... hm.... how to ask... "Did you communicate what to do to Peaches?" She haltingly nodded. Ok, so there was some form of language happening, but not like direct communication. "Cleo, are you able to understand everything I say?" She shook her head. Well, that's at least a relief, but that'd also figure. It takes years for children to accumulate a large vocabulary, and even as adults they still end up learning new words and phrases quite frequently when dealing with unfamiliar subject matter. I canted my jaw and Cleo nuzzled me. I chuckled softly and looked into those unfocused amber eyes of hers and sighed. I covered her eyes with my hands, and she trusted me enough to do so. I kissed her nosie and whispered "I love you just as you are, I just wish you could show me better just what you're thinking so I can help you more."

I sighed some and pondered.... "Cleo, do you think you can...." I stopped myself. No, it wouldn't be fair to her to be putting her through that sort of crap. Best to just accept her as she is, and not dwell on what she isn't. Except.... Hm.... "Cleo, have you seen yourself in a mirror before?" She nodded. "When you see yourself in the mirror, does your face do what you did before...." hm... would she remember the event? Probably not, as she'd have been out for the surgery itself. "When you see yourself in the mirror, does your face do what you want it to do to show how you feel?" Cleo just stared blankly at me. Hm... "Do you remember when you were a young cub?" She nodded. "Do you remember how your ears would change postion, and your eye ridges, and your mouth whenever you felt different about things?" She nodded. "Do your ears and eyes and mouth still do that when you feel different things?" She shook her head. Could it be they rid her conscious mind of emotions, too? "Does your face just not show it when you feel differently?" She nodded. I realized I'd been holding my breath, but breathed a sigh of relief. "Would you prefer that your ears and mouth move different when you feel different things?" She tilted her head a little, as though thinking. Then she just closed her eyes and touched her nose to my mouth. I kissed it and wrapped my arms around her neck some. "Silly kitten," I smiled.

I looked over to the recliner, then the floor... I pondered where we could lay cuddled reasonably well. I decided on the floor and moved some. Cleo sat up as I tried to get up. Quickly I'd unrolled the sleeping bag again and lay down on it, patting the floor ahead of me. Cleo moved about and lay down a bit of distance away, then rolled over so we were face to face. She tried to lever her hindlegs into the jack-knife position, but I had to help her a little with that and with a tug of her tail dragged her hips so our crotches were together. I moved my legs to fold them some, making a nice place for her rump to rest as we lay there together. I grabbed a blanket that lay crumpled on the floor nearby and covered us a bit, the evening cold setting in around the house. I caressed her cheek and she voofed so very softly. Then she tapped me with a forepaw and was looking at me again.

"You're wanting to mate?" I asked, figuring that's what it was. She shook her head. "You're wanting to know something?" She nodded. "Is it something from this evening?" She haltingly nodded. "Is it something that happened here at home?" She shook her head. "Is it something that happened when you were being checked by Jim?" She shook her head. "Was it something after that?" She nodded. I tried thinking back, then my heart sank. "Are you wanting to know what made me sad with Julie?" She nodded. I sighed deeply, but smiled a bit at the tawny face before me. "Close your eyes, Cleo." She did so and I drew her a little closer. "I was thinking about another lioness, much like yourself, that I once knew a good while ago." I pet Cleo's side as I drew a shuddering breath. Cleo's eyes popped open at the sound. "Cleo, do you worry about how long you'll live?" She just shook her head, and I smiled. "That's good, then this sort of thing shouldn't scare you. Awhile ago this lioness named Zera was part of the lions at the zoo... and she was my favorite. I didn't mate with her like we have, but she was still very friendly to me and always seemed to like being around me. She would even be good and do what I said when around very young children, even ones that wouldn't know any better than to tug her tail or try to climb on her like some kind of large plush toy." I didn't know how much of this Cleo would understand, but I said it anyway.

"Then there was one night when I was doing a last inspection before closing up that Zera made her way to the cage gate inside the cathouse. It seemed she couldn't move her hind end, and she was dragging it on the ground. I pet her head through the gate and helped her out onto the terrace - that space you saw between where we were standing and the cages. I then got some towels, some rope, and made a sort of sling to help her move, with her hind end being supported by me and the rope sling. She gladly went down the stairs to the holding pens, and I ran back up and called Jim over to see her. We took X-rays, and he took some blood for lab tests, and checked some other things, but there wasn't anything visibly wrong with Zera that either of us could find." I sighed and pet Cleo's side, my eyes started tearing up and my breath came in little shudders.

"All through the night I stayed with her, her laying her head on my lap and me wondering just what I could do to help her. She seemed to get weaker by the hour, and there was nothing I could do about it." By this time tears were streaming down my face, being licked away by a warm brillo pad of a tongue. I blindly pet her cheek as my lips trembled. "I knew what should be done. I knew there wasn't any other way around it. I knew where the T-61 was kept but I sure as hell didn't want to go for it." I swallowed hard and fought back the tears. "It was getting towards dawn and Zera wanted to get up, but her hind legs weren't working and her front legs were quite wobbly. I helped her up." I shuddered a bit. "Up the stairs we went and instead of going back up to the cage she seemed to want to go out onto the main floor. I let her and she led me out onto the grass near the main doors to the cathouse. There she collapsed. Her front legs just couldn't hold her anymore either." Tears were soaking my pillow, but it was as though I just had to get it all out for her to hear. "I laid her out there comfortably and I went back for the vial and a syringe. I brought them out to her, but I just couldn't do it. Not to my Zera. Jim happened to come by just as the sun was getting high enough to shine over the trees and reach the cast relief of Cybele and her lion-drawn chariot over the main door. He saw what was going on, and must have figured what was up. I just held Zera's head in my lap as she lay there out on the lawn. The sun soon reached us, too, because of that little rise there. He drew the neon pink solution into the syringe and put the needle into her upper foreleg. She didn't even flinch, she never did. No matter what we'd do to her, she always took it as how we intended - us helping her. She didn't know what this shot was going to do to her. Maybe she thought it'd help make her better, I don't know." I drew a shuddering breath. "I closed my eyes as he pushed the plunger down, giving her the injection. Zera looked at me and I could see in her eyes the inner struggle. Part of her not wanting to leave, never wanting to leave, and part of her understanding her body just couldn't go on." I took another shuddering breath. "She fought to stay awake, amid the drugs washing through her body, shutting down her vital functions. Oh how she fought. But we all knew it was a losing battle. Jim walked away and I took the opportunity to kiss her head, and whispered how much I loved her as I could feel her take her last breaths." I sobbed a little. "She feebly licked my hand, her eyelids fluttered lower and lower, then closed. And then, one shuddering breath later, it was over. The sun shone on the faces of the lion statues guarding the door, but there wasn't a sound to be heard. Not a bird, not a bug, nothing. Then all the cats started roaring out, as loud as I'd ever heard." I swallowed hard and took a shuddering breath. "I don't know why they did, or why they chose that moment, but perhaps they knew. I don't know." I looked Cleo right in the eyes and kissed her tenderly before drawing a snot-clogged breath.

"I didn't think it right to just cart her off like garbage...." I sighed, grabbed a tissue from the box under the end table and blew my nose into it with a loud honk. "So I got Chet help me with her. Paid for it all myself." I looked up on one of the shelves to a mahogany box with carved lion reliefs on it. "It was years before anything like cryobanking ovaries for their eggs was common, or else I might have done that, to have a little bit of her continue on. But there she is. I couldn't do it but Jim removed her claws, so they're just on the inside of the lid with her ashes in a separate compartment. Just in case I wanted them as a necklace or something." I chuckled a little as I almost said "Even though that sounds weird."... as though Cleo would have any concept as to normal versus bizarre human behavior. Looking at the box up on the shelf I teared up again. "She saw the sunrise a free cat, and for that I'll ever be grateful. I just wish I could have helped her go on forever... or at least as long as I could." I smiled a little at Cleo. "I know that sounds silly, but I wish I could fix you, too... and have you go on as long as I can, or more. But I know that's not right, and not a practical thing. So I'll love you for all the time you've got, just like I loved Zera." I collected myself some. "But that's why I can't tell Julie that. Look what it does to me when I let that memory out to play. I can't inflict that sort of stuff on her. She'll come to know it soon enough if she hangs around me. There'll be other times, and other animals..... even some day it'll be you." I pet Cleo's cheek tenderly and kissed her nose as I swallowed hard.

I couldn't tell if Cleo was reacting to me being upset, or to the story, or both, but she tucked her chin over top of my head and laid her upper forepaw overtop of my shoulder, in sort of an awkward hug as we lay there. I pet down her back and just snuggled with her, my breath fluttering the lighter fur of her chest, sighing and feeling a bit better for letting the demon of that memory out to haunt me for awhile so it would be easier to chase back into its bottle to wait for the cork to be pulled another time.

* * * * *

I woke and Cleo wasn't laying beside me any longer. I patted the floor to see if she was within arm's reach and she wasn't, so I opened one eye. It was still before dawn but there was a bit of light shining through the big picture window behind the couch, illuminating the room enough to see everything. I then heard the familiar sounds coming from the bathroom and knew where Cleo was... taking a leak. Having lived alone for so long that's probably what woke me, or Cleo getting up to do so. Either way, I smiled and soon came the flush and she padded back into the room. She must have noticed me watching her for rather than laying down in front of me again, she nuzzled my chest and chin some. I pet her and chuckled softly, tiredly. "Hi there... you must be wanting something, huh?" She nodded in her usual manner. I had to catch myself from asking "Well, what is it?" so I smiled. "Is it that you'd like to do something?" She nodded. "Can you show me what you'd like to do?" She nodded and nuzzled me some more, then sniffed at my crotch. Morning wood had tented the blanket and sleeping bag and I had to laugh. "You're wanting to mate?" I asked and she nodded. "Ok..." I smiled and caressed one of her forelegs which was within arm's reach. "Come here and lay down then." I told her, and she shook her head. "Don't want to mate that way?" I asked. Again, she shook her head. "Can you show me how you'd like to mate?" She nodded and stepped over me to the position she and Peaches had been in last night - standing with her hindfeet on the edge of the sofa, forefeet on the back, and staring out the picture window. I shifted about and chuckled, then grabbed the tube of lube from the end table. "Do you want me to mate you under your tail?" Still facing the window, she nodded and I moved about behind her.

I decided to tease her a bit so I rubbed my cockhead against her vulva some, and she squatted down to aim me at her preferred hole. I spread some lube on my fingers and started slickening the furless opening under her tail. As I rubbed the lube around her pink pucker, I wondered whether to try to open her gently or if she could actually take me without preparatory stretching. I decided on the latter, both because of her insistence as she tried to push back on my fingers, and because I knew my morning hard-on wouldn't likely last too long without attention. I squeezed a blort of lube into the palm of my right hand and after slicking my cockhead cupped my member and aimed it at her wrong hole.

Pressing against her, I could feel the ring spread a bit, and she adjusted her position some to crouch back and down agianst my member, changing our angles so it'd be a more upwards entry into her. I could tell she was trying to help by the way her ring flexed and was trying to open for the intrusion. Her breathing was coming in pants though her face was as expressionless as usual. I slickened the rest of my shaft and gripped her hips with both hands and gave a couple gentle shoves. Her rear stretched some each time, so I figured I'd draw back and try it again. Almost was in, that time. She grunted on that in-thrust and her rear tensed. I did it one more time, putting a bit more pressure and with a grudging stretch her rear accepted my cockhead. She growled out as her assring fluttered on my cockhead. I tugged back a bit which apparently she didn't want as she arched more and "sat" herself further onto my manhood. She growled out again as her insides parted more for my maleness. It wasn't super-tight or anything, but clearly what was going into her was bigger than what typically came out from there.

She straightened up a little and I started oscillating my hips a bit, nudging deeper each time until she was able to take most of me without any meaningful stretching at all. I looked down as I started to mate with her in earnest and could see that her pucker was a bit inflamed from the unusual intrusion, but that it was also clinging to my cock, both organs shiny with lubricant, as though it didn't want to have my member leave her opening either.

She shifted position a few times before settling into rocking side to side by stepping with her hindpaws a bit, while arched fairly acutely so I was thrusting reasonably upwards into her rear. From that position I couldn't see our coupling but it made me wonder if she'd be able to "ride" sometime. Perhaps that was something to investigate another evening or day off. She was watching out the window with half-lidded eyes as the sky kept getting brighter and brighter. Her rear was fluttering around my member and if we would have been positioned differently I would have put a couple fingers up inside her vagina as well, like I had with Peaches, but it just wouldn't have worked.

As I pumped at her, she seemed to be fairly slick on the inside, too. Not like her vagina had been, but wetter than how Peaches was. Whether that was just a species or individual difference, I didn't know. And in my partially-awake state I hadn't thought to check before I lubed myself and entered her. On and on we went, her insides starting to ripple in the familiar peristaltic milking waves as we neared our climax.

I couldn't see her face in the window's reflection anymore because of the sky getting so light, but I figured her eyes were likely closed as I could see the side of her face and her mouth was relaxed as she was panting. I was getting closer and closer, then all of a sudden she gripped my cock so very tightly with her ass that on my next shove I started unloading into her back passage and she roared out, just as the first rays of the sun appeared over the treetops of the hill beyond the barn. As I leaned over her back, shoved as deeply as I could within her, I couldn't help but chuckle amid my panting. She saw a dawn Zera never got to see, in a way Zera never got to see it - sharing a sexually intimate moment with me. Somewhere out there, I figured she must have been smiling down at me and my special lover-lioness as the sun's light brought us greetings of a new day as it washed over our blissful faces - mine panting for breath while laying on Cleo's shoulders, Cleo's face relaxed with her nose mushed up against the glass of the window, eyes shut, mouth open, panting, relaxed... expressive... happy.