FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

--1--

Seen was bent over an examination table, resting his chin against the paper roll covering the pillow. His arms reached past the tan, faux-leather bed to grip a black cased 3DS. Seen bit his tongue as it stuck out the side of his mouth, and squinted at the screens as he frantically mashed buttons.Bleeps and _bloops_and music daintily filled Seen's ears, distracting him from the fact that he was naked with a wire camera stuffed up his ass.

The white linoleum floors and sky blue walls of the tiny doctor's office didn't mesh well with the two middle aged wasp men in black suits and shades. They both fidgeted and hesitated, uneasy with Seen's waxed bare, sticklike body, or his odd genitals, or his total nonchalance at being strip-searched, as if he was used to it. As Seen played, they glanced at each other, hesitating to shove the wire camera just passed the bend in his rectum as required. One of them finally shrugged and stepped forward, grabbed the wire, and pushed it the last bit forward.

Seen jittered and sneered briefly at the feeling of the back of his rectum being poked. He shook his head, and then growled and tossed his 3DS against the wall, breaking the two halves apart. "God fucking dammit! I was just about to get my old body back! Then I killed it because you two had to shove that thing so damn hard!"

"Sir, this is a matter of International Police interest, I think your game--"

"I've never beaten that part before!" Seen interrupted the man holding the wire. "Not on intensity nine at least--and I was just about to, you piece of shit!"

Both of the men in suits sighed.

--2--

The man holding the wire came out of his sigh with his head shaking. "Sir, this is highly unusual."

"So what?" Tala answered. "It's not every day I get to see the inside of_my own_ ass."

"Wait, what?" the other man said, shaking his head.

"Nothing," Tala answered, shaking his own.

Rather than bending over the examination table, Tala laid on his back against the paper covered bed. He hooked his arms beneath his legs, pulling his hips up and freely exposing his studded cock and spread ass to the agents. He looked at a monitor on a swingarm mounted to the far wall, at the billowy, pink inside of his rectum. His face beamed with a smile and squint.

Tala rocked his head side-to-side. "And would you look at just how smooth and shiny and pink and clean and slick and stuff that ass is?! And no surrey, that's not just luck at work boys. I work day in and day out for an ass that gorgeous! I do a half hour of Kegal exercises twice a day! I got a whole drawer full of instruments to help me with that too. And I clean myself with enemas every night. I only use the ones manufactured by Cetaphil too. You don't want to use anything else because it'll dry you out. And then I even go in for flora enriched colon cleansing every other month! It has to be flora enriched because otherwise it'll screw up your good bacteria. And you shouldn't do it more than every other month or else you might become dependent. But boy do I remember that first time--"

"Shut up!" the man holding the wire shouted. "I don't enjoy doing this, in case you're wondering. And I sure as hell don't enjoy you babbling about what you do to your rectum! So please just let me finish my job quickly."

Tala shrugged and raised his brow. "Well how can I stare at such a perfect specimen of an asshole and not brag about it! My only real complaint it that the camera's too damn small."

"What?" the other man asked, shaking his head.

"The camera!" Tala replied. "It's too small! I can barely feel it. I mean, if I'm going to look at the inside of my own ass, I might as well want to feel it in action while I'm at it. Don't you have bigger cameras than this? Come on! Where are they?"

The other man slammed a fist on the counter, making Tala flinch and the monitor flicker. "This is a cavity search goddammit! This is not something either of us are supposed to enjoy!"

Tala breathed deep and shook his head. "Well, I always thought it was best to make the... best I suppose, out of a bad situation. And if I'm going to get something shoved up my asshole, I might as well get_some_ enjoyment out of it." Tala looked side to side. "Now come on guys. Where's that bigger camera! I'm mean come on guys. I've sounded bigger things than that embarrassing little pencil head."

The man holding the wire face palmed.

--3--

The man holding the wire lifted his head from his hand and set the wire back down on the metal tray attached to the monitor's swingarm. So far, the agents had only managed to get Lila's gloves and boots off. After so long of arguing, she now stood with feet wide and knees bent, as if waiting to intercept a tackle. She held a steel barrette clip open in both hands, waving it about as if it were a knife.

"Ma'am, you were caught smuggling assault weapons into a restaurant," the man holding the wire said. "A cavity search is just standard procedure for such a circumstance. I assure you, I don't enjoy this."

"I don't give a fuck what you enjoy or not!" Lila growled. "No one sticks anything inside any hole of mine without permission so long as I'm awake!"

The other man shrugged. "If that's the case ma'am, we have authority to sedate you to perform our search."

Lila squinted and glanced to the side in thought. She shrugged and relaxed, folded the clip, and tossed it to the man holding the wire, who caught it with his free hand. She leaned back and yawned, running fingers through her hair. "That's acceptable."

--4--

A tall, scruffy, older man with shoulder length white hair stood in the shadows, looking through a two way mirror. He unfolded his arms and put them in the pockets of his khaki trench coat. Despite squinting, his eyes looked unusually large behind his specs. He startled and sniffed as a hand touched his shoulder. He turned toward the man in the black suit, the same man who stood aside during the cavity searches. The man in the suit raised an eyebrow at the man in the trench coat.

"You know Three, the heater's on. Do you really have to wear that?" the man in the suit asked.

Three grabbed pulled his lapels down to straightened his trench coat. "It looks cool."

The man in the suit laughed. "I don't even need to say why_I_ think you wear that everywhere."

"That's none of your damn business Max," Three grumbled. He looked away, trying to think of how to change the subject. "I just want to know why they're stuffing themselves right now."

Three and Max looked at the two way mirror. Inside the non-descript interrogation room with concrete floors and walls, Seen, Tala, and Lila sat on metal fold-out chairs, all dressed in gray scrubs. A feast of junk-food sweets was laid out on the white plastic folding table in front of them: bags of rice crispy treats and Donettes of every flavor, boxes of Twinkies, Pop-Tarts, and cream puffs, three cans of whipped cream, a six-pack of root beer, and three 40oz Wild Cherry Slushies. The siblings shoved each other's arms out of the way to grab sweets and shovel them down their throats as fast as possible. When they got food stuck, they freed it with a gulp of root beer or Slushie, followed by a mouthful of whipped cream.

"The kid with the flower tattoos slipped my partner two hundred bucks for a trip to the convenience store across the street," Max said. "Be sure to put a citation on his record."

"Sure," Three said. "And what was with the tall guy's groin anyway? Seen!"

Max shrugged. "We didn't ask."

"Well..." Three sighed. "I'm also wondering why those kids aren't ever Investigated for all the shit that goes down at their ranch."

Max shrugged. "I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that Seen gave million dollar gifts-to-the-state on his last two tax-returns. I'm amazed he was able to file taxes at all without his mother's help."

"How'd their parents die again?" Three asked.

"Bar fight started by anti-pokephilia radicals from Kanto," Max answered. "Basically wannabe skinheads, but_with_ hair--knifed them over a dozen times each. I'm guessing they'll get pretty damn reactionary when we break the news."

Three nodded. "Right."

Within the interrogation room, the junk feast was already gone by the time Three and Max had finished their conversation. Seen upended his Slushie, sucking down the last liquid pool on the bottom before crushing the cup in his hand and throwing it behind him. Tala topped off his last handful of cream puffs with a mouthful of whipped cream and chewed it through his bulging cheeks, spilling crumbs and globs on the table. Lila leaned back in her chair with her boots on the table, kicking wrappers and boxes onto to floor, and sucked down the last of her root beer. She crushed the can against her head and threw it behind her. She then stuffed a hand into her pants and belched.

Max shook his head, sighed, and put his hands on his hips. "What the fuck is wrong with them?"

"Nothing that's within IP jurisdiction," Three answered. "They didn't break any international laws after all."

Within the interrogation room, the siblings huffed, sighed, and yawned after their meal, relaxing into their seats.

"Just remember, I'm the self-proclaimed lawyer here," Seen said. "Nobody says a word about Freakland except me."

"Fair enough," Tala yawned.

"You say that now, but let's see if you actually can keep your damn mouth shut when it counts," Lila said.

The siblings raised their heads as the door opened. Three walked inside and sat down in a metal foldout chair opposite the siblings. He smirked and furrowed his brow as he rifled through wrappers, boxes, and cans. He huffed and shook his head as he quit and wiped his hands on his trench coat.

"Do you guys always eat like this?" Three asked.

"Not usually," Tala answered. "Usually we have all our sweets homemade. Our butler can make the best white chocolate, macadamia nut waffles in the all of Sinnoh! Then there's the shakes, shortcakes, strudels--"

"Shut up, Tala," Seen grumbled.

Tala sneered and grumbled back at Seen.

"How do you all stay such twigs eating like that?" Three asked.

"It was a gift from our father," Lila answered.

"Yeah, dad was a real freak!" Tala added.

"Hey!" Lila shouted. "Don't go dissing a gift that lets me taste like Corn Pops!"

"What?" Three asked, shaking his head.

"Never mind her," Seen answered. "Just tell us who you are and what we're here for."

Three smirked and furrowed his brow again as he sighed. "My name is Three."

"What kind of a name is Three?" Seen asked, shrugging.

"What kind of a name is Seen?" Three asked, shrugging.

Three reached into his trench coat for a manila envelope and tossed it onto the table. He tapped the envelope. "Seen, Lila, and Tala Libertine, eighteen, seventeen, and sixteen respectively. Seen, owner and operator of the Libertine Ranch, a supposed Pokémon brothel and--"

Seen interrupted Three with an especially loud and lengthy throat clear. "I run a couple's retreat for people romantically involved with their own Pokémon, not a whorehouse. It's an entirely legitimate and extraordinarily successful enterprise here in Sinnoh, where poképhilia is legal."

"If that's the case, why do the Pokémon at the Libertine Ranch get involved with your clients so often? And why is the place called Freakland?" Three asked.

Seen leaned back and raised his hands while shaking his head. "The Pokémon under my care do that entirely of their own volition and not a single client of mine spends a penny extra when they do. And the name Freakland is entirely unfounded, invented by my haters and used only by my least respectful clients, most of whom I've blacklisted from the legitimate services I provide. I don't even need to see those files."

"Sure," Three groaned. "And what about the allegations of rampant incest between you all, and of your own sexual relations with your clients and their Pokémon?"

"Consensual sex between of-age siblings is not illegal in Sinnoh," Seen answered. "And as I said before, none of our clients pay a penny for any of the sex they or their Pokémon receive at the Libertine Ranch. We charge only for lodging, materials, hospitality services, and for providing a safe, non-judgmental, and anonymous haven for poképhiles to express their romantic interests. And in case you're wondering about mutant babies, Lila has a mesh lining the walls of her uterus."

"It looks like a fishnet stocking!" Tala added. "I just want to take it and--"

"Shut the hell up Tala," Seen growled.

"But what about Tala?" Three asked. "He's underage by Sinnoh law, and according to his stories--"

"I would highly doubt the reliability of any of Tala's_stories_ if I were you," Seen interrupted. "I'm sure he told you about the time he sounded his own finger?"

"But I did!" Tala shouted.

Seen slapped Tala in the back of the head, making him wince and rub his hair. "Tala's only sexual relations are with his own Pokémon who, by the way, is the same age as him."

"And with everything that goes on at the Libertine Ranch, you're not worried about communicable diseases?" Three asked.

"We have a lab at the ranch," Seen answered. "We can test for practically everything humans and Pokémon can get themselves_and_ give to each other. Tala can get you results in half an hour. I'll test you and all your cronies for free if you like. Anywho, why are we being held by the International Police instead of Sinnoh authorities?"

"You were caught hiding automatic weapons on your persons, which_is_ illegal in Sinnoh, into a place where Team Rocket tried to kill you with a bomb. And considering what happened right outside the Libertine Ranch last week, how could the IP not get involved?"

"What are you talking about?" Seen asked. "What happened last week?"

Three blinked and furrowed his brow. He looked side to side, and then back at Seen. "How could you not know? The news can't stop obsessing over it."

"News is boring," Seen replied. "We don't pay any attention to it."

Three sighed and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses. "Last Tuesday, the Sol was found in some ugly green track suit, killed in a hit and run by a large vehicle, probably a delivery truck. It happened in the middle of the night, less than a mile away from the Libertine Ranch. Everyone's saying it was an assassination."

Seen stood up straight, his face pulled tight and his teeth clenched. He grabbed some wrappers in his hands and squeezed them. Lila brought her feet down from the table and leaned forward, clasping her hands in front of her, a slight glower on her own face. Tala looked back and forth between seen and Lila, and Three. For a time, everyone was silent until--

"Who's the Sol?" Tala asked.

Seen, Lila, and Three all looked at Tala with wide eyes and open mouths. Tala continued looking back and forth between Seen and Lila, and Three.

"Consecrated leader of the Dragon's Temple in Unova?" Lila said. "Only the most powerful religious figure in the world?"

Tala blushed in embarrassment and looked down, twiddling his fingers. He did know of the Dragon's Temple, but knew little if anything of its history or hierarchy. In a rare occurrence, he bit his tongue and decided he would at least try not to speak for the remainder of the interrogation.

"So that's why the IP's involved," Seen said. He shook his head. "But I swear we had nothing to do with it. And if you think this has anything to do with my mother and father, then just ask why any of us would go to all the trouble to destroy everything they--"

"Why do you think we let all of you in here at the same time?" Three interrupted. "Why do you think I was asking about your personal lives instead of the murder or the incident at Seven Stars? The IP knows you're not involved, and apparently so does Team Rocket." Three nodded at Seen. "I faxed your statement to HQ. Their concern is just what the hell Team Rocket's going to do now that they've put themselves in the spotlight over that little mistake they made." Three nodded at Lila. "They also want to know where you got those guns."

This time it was Lila's turn to blush and twiddle her fingers. She glanced at Seen with a raised eyebrow, asking permission. Seen folded his arms and nodded, giving it.

Lila looked down and mumbled. "I bought them from Team Rocket. But that was months ago. There's no way it has anything to do with this."

Three chuckled through his nose. He smiled, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Seen and Lila both narrowed their eyes at him, knowing that they suddenly gave him exactly what he wanted. Three looked at Lila.

"Doing business with a group condemned as an international criminal organization? That's within International Police jurisdiction. You'll be booked and charged accordingly."

"The International Police guarantees bail for nonviolent crimes," Seen said. "Get me an amount and let me call the ranch. My butler'll post it by the end of the day. I'll agree to any conditions you give to reduce sentence."

"I'll drop the charges if you shut down the Libertine Ranch and leave Sinnoh for three months while we investigate Team Rocket," Three said.

"I take it back," Seen replied. "I'll agree to_almost_ any conditions."

Three shrugged. "In that case, I'll have Lila on probation for a year, during which time the IP'll have free reign to inspect or even lodge at the Libertine Ranch."

Three smirked and leaned back against his chair. He laced his fingers behind his head. Seen leaned forward and set his arms on the table, grabbing wrappers and squeezing them so hard that his fists reddened. He clenched his teeth pulled his brow tight as his breath fluttered. Curious, Three let his arms down and leaned forward a bit, adjusting his glasses.

"Is this your way of punishing pokephiles?" Seen whispered. "Did you set up this whole fucking situation yourself just so you could shut us down? Do you really want to put yourself the same league as the fucks who murdered our parents? Because about a hundred of my clients are lawyers, and I've got them at my beck and call if you want to test me."

"I only asked you to shut down for three months," Three said, shaking his head.

"And once word gets out that it was the IP who told me to do that, I'll never have another client again," Seen replied.

"I'm only trying to--"

A knock on the door interrupted Three. All four in the interrogation room startled and stood up straight. The door opened and the man in the suit entered, looking at the floor and twiddling his fingers.

"Why the hell are you interrupting an interrogation?" Three shouted.

"It's PET-P, sir," Max answered. "They've just claimed responsibility for the bombing at Seven Stars."

In an instant, Three winced hard enough to turn his face red, and slammed both fists on the table, knocking off wrappers, boxes, and cans. Seen, Lila, and Max jittered at the display, while Tala jumped back and yelped, shielding his face with one hand while holding up his pants with another.

"Fuck!" Three screamed.

Three swept an arm across the table, brushing the last of the clutter onto the floor. He fell back onto his chair, folded his arms on the table, and dropped his head into them. For a time, nothing happened. Tala lowered his arm, blinked, and cocked his head.

"Pet pee? The hell is that?" Lila asked.

"I don't know," Tala answered. "Sounds like some company that makes products out of Pokémon piss."

"Who would want to make anything out of Pokémon piss?" Seen asked.

"Well, I happen to know for a fact that Snivy piss is quite a potent aphrodisiac," Tala said.

"And how exactly do know that_for a fact_?" Lila asked.

"Shut up!" Three shouted, startling the siblings again. Three lifted his head, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. "People for Ethical Treatment of Pokémon! And since you've made it pretty clear you've never heard of them, they're the guys who protest Pokémon battles and pokéballs by throwing fake blood on trainers."

"Why would they claim responsibility for Team Rocket's bomb?" Seen asked.

Three sighed. "Because they know they can get away with it. There's nothing that can link them to the bomb and no one will believe they did it anyway... no one important. They're just attention whoring."

"So what happens now?" Seen asked.

--5--

Three kicked the wing chair over onto his wood-framed coffee table, shattering the glass top and cutting chair's red leather. He leaned his head back, pressed a palm into his forehead, and paced his office. After a time, he stopped and looked out the double-hung windows at the back, at the Veilstone city traffic bellow. He sighed and looked down at his pedestal desk, grabbed a handful of the papers that cluttered it, and tossed them aside at the wastebasket. Only a few of the papers fluttered into the trash.

Three shrugged and shook his head. "Does any of that paperwork mean anything anymore?"

"It probably means twice as much paperwork if you lose it," Max said.

Max pressed his back against the door to the office, folding his arms to try and appear as if he merely leaned back. He jittered as Three swept an arm across his desk, throwing more paperwork to the floor and throwing a coffee mug against the wall. Three turned to Max and nearly pinched his fingers.

"We were this close to the biggest break we've ever had! All we needed was to get our hands on that ranch for just a couple months. And that asshole Bailey had to ruin it all over a fucking publicity stunt?!"

"The least we can do is try to protect the Libertines," Max replied. "We've got the girl nailed on criminal transaction. We can use that to keep them safe."

"No!" Three snapped back. He approached the window and put his hands in his coat pockets. "Cut them loose. And make sure the Sinnoh departments do the same."

Max tensed and stepped forward. He sniffed and furrowed his brow slightly. "Shit's about to hit the fan like nothing we've ever seen before and you're thinking of using them as bait?"

"Do you have a better idea?" Three asked.

"Well, I know your grandfather wouldn't have--"

"Do you want me to say it?" Three shouted. He turned and approached Max, grabbing the collar of his suit. "Do you really want me to say it? Because I will if you do."

"Yes," Max whispered.

Three let go of max and shuffled back, tripping over the legs of his toppled wing chair. He caught himself on the edge of his desk and lifted himself to sit on it.

"Fine," Three said. "I'm not half... I'm not a quarter the detective my father was! I got to where I am on name recognition alone. And when I did, I wanted to do nothing but measure up to him, even though I knew it was impossible. But now that I'm older, wiser, and not as jealous, I don't care about that anymore. I just keep this job for the obscene paycheck and benefits. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Three and Max were both tense as boards, staring into each other's eyes without blinking. They held their breaths for a pause. They exhaled, relaxed, and both looked aside. They paused again. Then, Max lifted his head.

"If you don't care about living up to the name Looker anymore, then why don't you retire?" Max asked. "You'll keep the benefits."

Three raised a fist in front of his face. "Because this week dropped the biggest smoking gun of all time into my lap, and I don't think I can sleep at night if this case ever gets shelved. I've got to make sure something comes from it."

"And what about the Libertines?" Max asked. "If something happens to them, I don't want to share responsibility.

Three dropped his arm and looked at the floor. "If anything happens to them, I'll court martial myself and plead guilty to all charges. You won't share responsibility. Nobody working under me will share any responsibility."

"I... guess that's a relief?" Max said. He dropped his chin into a hand and squinted. "I just thought of something. If you don't care about living up to your grandfather's anything anymore, why do you still wear the trench coat?"

Three shrugged. "Like I said, it looks cool."

--6--

The limo ride back to the ranch was quiet. Seen sat back against the cream leather seat at the back of the limo. He looked out the right window, at the brown caps of the small mountain range they passed by as they drove south on Route 214. Seen could see Lake Valor toward the horizon. The limo turned right, between the mountains and the lake, down some back-country dirt road most people wouldn't think would go anywhere. Seen turned his gaze out the left window, over the glass minibar, at the small mountain range the ranch was nestled against, right between routes 214 and 209.

Seen sniffed and blinked at the first words spoken since the ride began.

"How come you're not grabbing your crotch like you did with that getup?" Lila asked.

"I slipped the dude giving me a cavity search some money so he'd get me pants two sizes too big," Tala answered. "I untied the string so I wouldn't have to feel anything around my waist."

"So that's why you had to grab them whenever you walked," Lila said, nodding.

"It's better than wearing something that rubs my balls!" Tala whined. "I don't know, what do you think Seen?"

Seen raised an eyebrow. Lila and Tala sat next to each other on the left-side couch with their heads back, looking out the wavy skylight. They all still wore the gray scrubs the International Police gave them. Seen smirked on one side of his mouth, happy that the IP confiscated Lila's costumes. Then he winced slightly, as another of his previous thoughts returned.

"I'm wondering why they just let us go," Seen said.

"What now?" Tala asked, looking down at Seen.

Seen shrugged. "After everything that happened, they just let us go without even a warning. And I'm pretty sure they told off the cops too, otherwise the Veilstone PD would've been waiting to pick us up from them. I mean, they even transferred the Pokémon we borrowed back to Freakland for fuck's sake! It doesn't make any sense, not after how bad that Three guy wanted take over the place."

"So what are you thinking?" Lila asked.

Seen shrugged again. "Maybe that Three dude just wanted to use Freakland for something else. But I don't care what he said. It couldn't have been Team Rocket. The IP already has more than they'll ever need to bust them, except for military backing."

"In other words, you have no idea why the hell they were involved in the first place," Lila said.

"In other words, I have no idea why the hell they were involved in the first place," Seen said.

A time passed in silence. Tala tried to cross his legs, wrapping one foot behind his other ankle. He grimaced and grumbled under his breath as the scrub pants rubbed against his legs. After so many minutes he gave up, leaned back, and pulled his pants above his belly button.

"I did sound my own finger, you know," Tala said.

Seen snorted a laugh. "Yeah? And you spent the next week in the ICU."

"But at least I did it!" Tala said. "How many people can say they did that?"

"How many people would actually consider that an accomplishment?" Seen asked.

Lila laughed, prompting Seen and laugh with her, and Tala to fold his arms and frown at them.

--7--

The air currents came from the north. The Libertine Ranch sat nestled on the mountain range's south face. Green forests surrounded the ranch on three sides at a distance. The ranch itself was within a semi-arid patch of land, among shallow rolling hills full of waist high yellow grass waving in the wind. The red sky at sunset tinted the land. The ranch itself didn't look like much from the outside, like an old wooden, red-roofed winter lodge, sans the winter. Even its hotel-like size didn't stand out, considering only dirt roads travelled to it.

Even the limousine looked somehow drab. It was built from a Toyota Avalon, sand colored to match the dust it kicked up driving down the road.

Everything seemed from the outside to be as dreary as possible, in stark contrast to their insides. But that was how the customers liked it. Such tired and stale exteriors were exactly what the lunatic fringe needed to hide from the status quo.

The limo stopped some distance from the split-rail fence encircling the ranch. The back door opened, and Seen, Lila, and then Tala stepped out. Seen and Lila yawned and stretched backwards, cracking their sternums. Tala had to hold the waistband of his pants to keep them from falling.

The driver's side window rolled down, revealing that the elderly Zoroark Butler had chauffeured them, likely under a human guise. He still wore his red vest as he rested an arm against the windowsill and leaned his head out the window.

Seen stopped to hold a hand beneath Butler's chin and kiss him, gently swirling tongues with the Pokémon. "Thanks Butler," Seen said as he broke the kiss and continued.

Lila stopped to cup Butler's cheeks in her paws and kiss him, shoving her tongue hard into the Pokémon's mouth. "Thanks Butler," Lila said as she broke the kiss and continued.

Tala stopped to wrap and arm around Butler's neck and kiss him, sucking the Pokémon's tongue hard into his own mouth. "Thanks Butler," Tala said as he broke the kiss and continued.

Butler sighed. He let his eyes droop and his lips curl up as he_grrr_ed and his shoulders briefly went limp. He cleared his throat and turned back toward the task of parking the limo, rolling up his window as he drove away.

"What the fuck's going on?!" Seen shouted.

Seen ran toward the fence, leaving Lila and Tala behind to stare at him in confusion. They briefly glanced at each other, and then ran after. As he did, Tala nearly tripped over his falling pants, and then stumbled his way out of them to catch up in his pink panties. The siblings stopped in front of the fence-gate. A dozen people, mostly women, staggered toward them, dressed in yellow jeans and tee shirts with plushy jagged Pikachu tails and ears, and red spots painted on their cheeks. They bound three Pokémon by ropes--two for an Absol, four for an Infernape, and six for a Nidoking. The Pokémon didn't resist, but refused to move, forcing the Pikachu costumers to drag their weight across the grass.

"What is he doing?"

The voice drew the siblings' attention to a man standing beside the gate, who they didn't notice at first. He wore a bowler's hat over his shoulder-length, greasy black hair, and oversized wraparound sunglasses over his scruffy face. His black overcoat worn over-the-shoulders and hand clutching an iced latte--foam still on his lip--completed an ensemble almost as ridiculous as Lila's costumes. He pointed at Tala.

Seen briefly looked at Tala in his pink panties. "I've been trying to figure that out for years. But enough about him. What about you? Who the fuck are you, and what the fuck are you doing?"

The man put his free hand on his hip and sipped his iced latte. "Bailey Brant. And I am liberating your so-called spoiled Pokémon from sexual slavery."

Seen, Lila, and Tala all slumped in different directions, winced, and groaned. Seen looked back at Bailey, shrugging and shaking his head. "Like I told the guy at the station, they fuck humans because they want to."

"Muk shit!" Bailey shouted, and threw his latte to the ground. "No Pokémon would ever_want_any kind of sexual relations with a human unless they were seriously brainwashed!"

Seen smirked and crossed his arms. "Oh, I see. Well, in that case, I must warn you that for personal reasons I'd rather not discuss, I have a very short temper when it comes to anti-pokephiles."

Bailey laughed. "You, warn me? Oh, that's a hoot. You should be the one scared to death of me after I just barely let you get away alive back at Seven Stars."

Seen smirked again and snapped his fingers, everything suddenly becoming clear. "PET-P! Of course!"

"PET-P?" Tala said, perking up. He trotted to a startled Bailey and forcibly shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you sir! Can you get me a bulk estimate on the price of hormonal extracts of Snivy urine?"

"What?!" Bailey shouted.

"For the last fucking time, Tala, they don't make anything out of Pokémon piss!" Seen Shouted.

Tala whined and slumped. He tripped over his own feet at he turned away from Bailey, grabbing his coat and belt to keep himself from falling. Bailey growled and shoved Tala Away. Lila covered her mouth and laughed. Seen growled under his breath and turned back to Bailey, pointing at him.

"Don't ask about him because I don't think there's an answer," Seen said. "And you must be a fucking fruit-loop if you think you can convince me that you sent that bomb instead of Team Rocket."

Still distracted, Bailey looked back and forth between Seen and Tala. He cleared his throat, stretched his neck, and turned to Seen. "What... makes you think Team Rocket did that?"

"Them busting into my house in the middle of the night, holding my little brother hostage at gun-point, and then telling us to go to Seven Stars after they figured out they made a mistake makes me think they did it."

Bailey, uncomfortable, shuffled his feet and looked back and forth between Seen and the other PET-P protesters, who stared at him quizzically. He huffed and put his hands on his hips. "That's a nice story. Can you back it up?"

"I can give you the number of the IP Agent who questioned us," Seen said. "He'll back me up. He'll say it was Team Rocket."

The other PET-P protestors let slack their ropes and murmured amongst each other, gaining the attention of the Pokémon they still held. The protestors looked at Bailey with tight, stern faces, and babbles of_what_, why, and come on. Bailey tensed and his hair stood on end. His heartbeat quickened and he began to sweat. He couldn't remember the last time he was put on the spot like that. He continued looking back and forth between Seen and his protestors. Tala and Lila stood beside Seen to help him glare at Bailey. He began to panic.

"I don't care what you say or what you think or what you whatever the hell," Bailey said. "Your Pokémon are so broken that they don't even fight back when they get tied up and dragged out here and humiliated like the sideshow whores... which is what you've turned them into."

Seen sighed and grimaced. "What a fucking joke. The only reason they didn't go ballistic on your ass is because they don't want to get me into legal trouble. And if you really care about a Pokémon's well-being, tying them up and dragging them out here like sideshow whores is a funny way of--"

Before Seen could finish, Bailey's panic overtook him. He grabbed what was once a bottled water from a coat pocket, pushed open the sports cap with his thumb, and thrust it forward, squeezing and spraying dark, fake blood onto Seen, Tala, and Lila. The protestors collectively gasped and flinched. Lila growled and shielded her face. But Seen merely froze in place with one hand in the air. The bottle soon ran out of fake blood and Bailey dropped it onto the grass, smiling with the confidence that he struck the sibling's speechless. They all stood, dripping, Lila and Tala moaning and looking at themselves, but Seen still motionless. Seen sighed again and wiped his face.

"You just assaulted me on my own property," Seen grumbled. "That gives me legal right to order Infernape to... break free and beat your ass!" Seen shouted the last seven words.

Bailey turned to see his protesters already letting go of their ropes and running and screaming. The Infernape stood and shrieked, gnarring its teeth and clenching its fists. After a few seconds, Infernape pulled its arms apart, snapping the ropes binding it. Snarling, spitting, and almost laughing, Infernape ambled toward Bailey on all fours. Bailey backed away, looking back and forth at Infernape and Seen, as if begging him to tell Infernape to stop. Seen merely crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. Infernape stood on its legs and leapt forward, smacking its head into Bailey's chest and knocking him through the air and onto his back. Bailey reached trembling arms up and tried to scream in pain, but winded, could only gurgle and weep. Bailey tried to stand, falling over several times, and dropping his coat. Righting himself on trembling legs, Bailey grabbed his coat and ran, hunched over and clutching his chest with his free hand, not knowing if his ribs were broken.

--8--

Large, tan marble tiles covered the floor and walls of the bathroom, save the wall spanning mirror over the wall-spanning concrete-topped counter with two sinks. Tiny black tiles lined the floor of the rectangular shower that housed Seen, Lila, and Tala with plenty of room to spare. Round, rainfall showerheads on all three walls sprayed and fogged up the bathroom. They held huge white bath poufs and scrubbed each other with sighs, grumbles, and glowers. The fake blood stained their skin, and it seemed nothing could get the pink blotches off.

A hand grasped the brass handle of the clear-glass shower door and swung it open. The siblings stopped and looked at Butler, still in his red vest, holding a large black tablet computer just behind to the spray's reach.

"A call for you, sirs," Butler spoke into their minds as he bowed his head.

Lila dropped her pouf and turned a brass boat steering wheel on the wall, shutting off all three showerheads. She tapped the Tablet's screen and the image of the agent who stood aside during their cavity searches appeared. Max immediately gasped and blushed.

"Uh... I'm sorry," Max said. "Was I interrupting anything?"

Seen shook his head. "Nothing important. What is it?"

Max paused and looked every which way,_uh_ing and _um_ing.

"Get to the point already!" Lila said.

"W-w-well, I called to tell you to turn on the news since you said you don't pay attention to it," Max said. "But... uh... you don't look like you can watch the news right now, so I'll just send you the feed over the signal. And I'd recommend you close for business tomorrow."

Max turned and worked controls out of sight. The screen flickered and then showed the image of an older, clean-shaven man with a long, thin face, long slicked brown hair, and mocha skin. He wore a hooded robe of green-rimmed white scales, and a gothic brass breastplate. He banged his fists against his wooden podium as he shouted.

"And the Dragon's Temple will show once and for all that it will not stand for unprovoked attacks! Our sanctity is as great as any nation's! And like any nation, we too have the right to defend our sovereignty with military might if necessary! If the powers that be in Sinnoh do not give their fullest efforts not only in finding the war criminal who assassinated our Sol, but also in extraditing this man to our custody, than we have no choice but to declare this an act of war by Sinnoh, against the Dragon's Temple! And we will respond accordingly, with war! And I, Luna of the Dragon's Temple, Ficus Rosales, will lead the front line into battle!"

Seen sneered and reached forward to push the power button on the back of the tablet.

"What's the Luna?" Tala asked.

"Second in command," Seen said. He turned to Butler. "Fuck the temple. We're not closing for business tomorrow."

Butler cocked his head and blinked. "I'm afraid there will be a grave shortage of clients if that is the case,"

"That just means we can give them_all_ the VIP treatment," Seen said.