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Helloooo! Welcome to Free Association Episode 7, if you're new you'll probably want Ep1, you know the drill by now.

A note regarding the 'adult' category - note that I also tagged this one with 'No-Yiff', something I haven't done on most of my FA stuff because they've all been all-ages. Sorry, nothing interesting is happening... yet ;3. It only got the adult tag because of a past event that Brad talks about in some, uh, specifics, that I didn't really feel belonged under all-ages.

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_ Wednesday. _

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They left the restaurant at a quarter to eight. Brad didn't see Wallace on the way out. He made a point of staring at the floor, to make sure. Scratch that place off the list, or something.

The air was cold and damp. Brad sucked it in. Halfway through the date. Not much time left... and he still hadn't passed the 'test'.

He wanted to be this raccoon's boyfriend.

He had to get Jonathon to give him a chance.

"Gimmie this," he rumbled after a moment, reaching out; the gesture was an awkward mix of tentative hesitance and impulsive jerkiness. His paw curled around the raccoon's.

Jonathon smiled a little. "Okay."

So they walked down the street paw-in-paw. A few people looked at them curiously, but the streets were quiet at the moment, and in any event, it wasn't a long way to the park Brad had in mind. Jonathon grew nervous after a bit. Such a public display of homosexual affection was inherently risky; what if someone saw him? Mitch or somebody. They ought to be more discreet.

But it felt so nice.

The shorter male shivered, fur ruffling down his back under his shirt. He couldn't let go. Brad's paw was big and warm and rough, nothing like his own, or Greyson's. Gosh it was nice.

The raccoon wondered if Brad was going to kiss him again, once they found their way to the inevitable park bench. He knew how walks in the park worked. You walk a bit, you sit down, you talk a bit, it gets romantic, you kiss.

He was looking forward to kissing Brad again. That first one had been so sudden, so fleeting; it had left him stunned and out of breath. Only minutes later, as he'd sat in English class and tried to focus on the instructor, could he properly enjoy it, and appreciate how nice it had been. Remember the sensation of this stranger's mouth on his own. Remember the longing, almost scared, yet soft and affectionate look in his eyes as they parted.

This time, with this kind of lead-up... a casual date at a nice restaurant, learning more about this hunky wolf gripping his paw, and then a romantic stroll through the park... it would be different. Jonathon was already thinking about how nice the eventual kiss would be.

The park was all rough stone walkways and marble benches, rolling green lawns and stands of linden trees. It was the sort of place where businessfurs sat and ate their lunches, where young couples might have a picnic on a warm summer day.

Of course, at night, it took on a somewhat more solemn, faintly unsettling air. But the paths were well-lit, and Jonathon felt confident that Brad would protect him, if anyone jumped out at them from the dark patches between them. Maybe that was naïve of him. But he imagined anyone would be scared of this big wolf in the dark, if they didn't have the privilege of holding his paw.

Jonathon let out a little, contented huff. It had been a long while since he'd had such a good time.

Brad had been kind of quiet, overall, but that was all right. Everything he had said had been pleasant, and interesting; the raccoon was still wondering at the idea that this big tough guy was an artist. Can't judge a book by its cover? There had to be volumes worth of stuff he didn't know about Brad, and with each sentence the wolf let out, Jonathon found himself even more intrigued by what was on the next page, the next chapter, the next story.

And his rugged, scowly handsomeness didn't hurt things one bit. Jonathon was interested in a lot of things. Right now, one of them was named Bradley.

There was a little brook that flowed through the park, from one of the aquifers that sprouted up underneath the city proper. It began at a small tunnel on one side, and then chuckled and splashed its meandering way under bridges and along sandy banks. It dwelled for a moment in a small pool, upon which ducks often landed, before flowing through a bend and finally turning aside at the other end of the park, draining into the river.

They crossed one of the small bridges, and then sat on a bench under a streetlamp that faced out toward the water. Jonathon held onto Brad's paw and watched the faint light of ships moving in and out of the port across the way. It was a little cold even with his jacket, so he scrunched a little closer to the wolf, cuddling up to his body heat. There weren't many people in the park tonight, and right now, it was just the two of them.

Yes, it was all very idyllic. Brad might have snorted at the outrageously romantic atmosphere, if he hadn't felt sick to his stomach from nerves.

Damn first dates. Damn them to hell. Damn desires and regrets and emotions.

Damn Wallace.

He was thinking about the stupidest things, now. One of the times he'd had sex with the schnauzer; not the first, but soon thereafter. Wallace was always seductive in the bedroom, graceful and lusty and forward, until he tumbled onto his back under the wolf's roaming paws. Slender and toned, with that blocky angularity that screamed 'male' to Brad. Those first few times, there had always been a sort of worry, in the back of his mind, about sleeping with the effeminate canine. That 'What if he feels too much like a girl?' question. And then the inevitable realization that Wallace felt very much male, and with that revelation a surge of arousal as his paws stroked over pectorals and hips and glutei maximi. It was all these little things. Bone structure. Proportion. The contours of his soft fur. Grabbing his big dick wouldn't do it, though it was probably the more scientific method of determining his sex. It was touching his body that made Brad salivate and whine.

He always felt so stupid sleeping with Wallace. Here was this elegant, lithe, playful dog, sensuously undressing himself in a semi-striptease, and all he was was a dumb, out-of-shape wolf sitting there on the bed with his boner sticking out and dripping. It was like sleeping with the crown prince of... somewhere that still had a crown prince. To Wallace, sex was an art. It intimidated the wolf as much as it turned him on.

And then... fucking Wallace...

Fucking Wallace. Dammit. He had to stop dwelling on the canine; it had been more than four years, for chrissakes. Four years and he was on a goddamn date and here he was feeling miserable and remembering what had been and what could have been and how it had all come apart. His first date with Jonathon, and he was already cheating on the raccoon in his mind... with an ex, no less.

Fucking Wallace was fun, he thought savagely. Might as well get all those memories out in the open. No point hiding anything from himself. Maybe he should let Jonathon in on those secrets, while he was at it.

Even as a bitter self-recrimination, that one made Brad feel bad. Poor guy. The raccoon had done nothing to deserve this. Must be a blast, to go on a date with a guy who can't stop moping and angsting about his first real boyfriend. He didn't want Jonathon to have to put up with this. He wanted to make Jonathon happy. He wanted to be happy along with.

He wanted to...

Probably would never get the chance. I never should have gone after him... the wolf found himself thinking. I should have just let him be the one that got away. He'd be happier.

Just like Wallace. Wallace was happier, now that he'd gotten away.

Odd that he was a waiter, really. He'd been a design major too, interior to Brad's graphic; they'd met at a club, but they'd hit it off in the art building. He was Brad's age; he ought to be done with his degree now, right?

Brad wondered if the canine had heard about his academic mishaps. Maybe. They still had some of the same friends. Everyone had drifted apart, though. Maybe it was obvious that a guy like Brad was never going to get anywhere, just on sight.

"You okay?"

The wolf jumped a little, pulled out of his reverie. Jonathon was very close to him, eyes gleaming in the moonlight. It reminded Brad of the feral raccoons that had lived behind his dad's run-down house in the slummy part of the big city, hours away. He would go out and sit in the back yard on the one non-broken swing left on the set, and the raccoons would rustle around and eventually grow bold enough to scurry past him toward the alley dumpster.

"Yeah." He tried to smile. It was hard.

"You're awfully quiet." Brad wondered how long the raccoon had been watching him. He wondered what he looked like right now, dark and forbidding, a stormy sea over unknown shoals and reefs.

"Guess I'm just not very talkative tonight. Sorry."

He was never going to get this fucking guy. What a long shot. What a waste of time.

"Well, we don't have to talk, then..." What a passive-aggressive thing to say.

What a...

...What?

The wolf gulped. Shivered all up and down.

The raccoon pulled back quickly, dropping his eyes shyly to stare at Brad's knees. Reflexively, his other paw moved around to grip Brad's as well. It had taken just about every fiber of testicular tissue he had to lock muzzles with the wolf... but he'd done it. For all of five seconds, but he was still proud of himself. It had sure beat the hell out of sitting there longing for it.

The raccoon took a few moments to re-settle himself, to come to terms with what he'd just done. Then, almost apprehensively, he looked up.

There was a big, hot, sexy wolf sitting beside him, very close, one paw clasped between his two. Brad was giving him this crazy look, like the raccoon had just suggested they run for congress, or find some girls, or tapioca foghorn stairmaster.

Meanwhile, Brad was looking at a very cute raccoon, gazing into his eyes with a mixture of embarrassment, innocence, and defiance. Eyes so big, fur so fluffy and stripey in the orange glow of the streetlamp, those little ears and that little nose and those solid shoulders, blocky paws, pointy teeth. Clinging to his paw and waving his fuzzy tail, looking at once adorable and strangely brave, refined, adult. This was no kid, looking at him like that, for all he might be a fair amount younger. His pose seemed to proclaim 'I can kiss you if I want, even if it makes me blush!'

Jonathon gulped.

Brad gulped.

Neither male was sure exactly what to think.

Then, Brad opened his mouth. It seemed a long stretch of time for both, from the moment his lips parted, to the moment he managed the first sound.

"I... look."

The wolf sighed a little.

"...I... Iwanna... tellyousomefin." He ducked his head a little.

"Okay." Jonathon was listening, leaning even closer to him.

"I... I know maybe this hasn't gone... exactly right, but I... I really want... I'd be honored... I..." The wolf growled a little as words failed him; what the hell was he trying to say? "I, uh... I know it's all been... kind of weird since we met, and it's only our first time out but I just I - " Seized with intensity, Brad looked up, his paws coming up to grip Jonathon's forearms gently, entreating him to listen. He was saying it. He was really saying it now. " - I really really want to be your boyfriend Jonathon and I know this has probably been the shittiest date ever and I probably seem like a loser and an idiot and a creep but I really like you and I want to, I want to..."

"Hey..." Jonathon's paws came up to his face, slid back across his cheeks to rest under his ears. "Hey. It's okay."

Brad wasn't the sort of guy who cried, he reminded himself sternly. He swallowed, and blinked so hard his head dipped and came back up. "I want... I want you to just give me a chance, please..."

"Oh, Brad..." The raccoon exhaled, his heart aching from watching this guy break down over him. "Just hush a second, okay?"

"Okay," Brad whimpered.

Jonathon collected his thoughts carefully. "Well... I guess... I guess I can't say I know what you're talking about, because the way you put it, it sounds like we've been on totally different dates." He smiled. "I... I had a wonderful time on mine."

"You... you did?"

The raccoon nodded. His eyes got a bit of a dreamy look in them "I was picked up by this handsome hunk of a wolf who took me to a great restaurant, and then led me on a long, romantic walk in the park. And along the way I learned more about this guy I've been thinking about so much, and discovered we have a lot in common - "

The wolf snorted dismally. "No we don't, we've got next to nothing in common..."

Jonathon looked honestly surprised at the outburst. "Oh?"

"Name one thing we have in common," the wolf grumbled, defiantly miserable.

The raccoon spoke carefully, as he always seemed to. "Well, you're an artist."

"So?"

"I am too."

Brad stared. Blinked. "You are?"

Jonathon nodded. "I'm a photographer."

A beat of silence.

"You didn't mention that before."

"You didn't ask." Jonathon shrugged.

Another beat.

"You could have..."

"You didn't want to talk about art, seemed like." The raccoon grimaced.

Yet another. This one was longer.

"...What kind of camera?" The wolf's voice was quiet.

"My dad's old solid film SLR, manual f-stops and the good stuff. It's a Pentax. I've used digital, but I'm a chemistry nerd anyway, so developing film and prints is fun." Jonathon grinned a little.

"What do you shoot?"

"Landscapes, mostly."

A surge of emotion. "I used to paint landscapes, they're all so beautiful. People are hard."

Jonathon smiled big. "I know, right? I can't do people, posing them sucks..."

Brad breathed in slowly. Let it out slowly. "Okay, then."

Jonathon wasn't done. "You also said you can sing."

"I... maybe I can?"

The raccoon gave a little nod. "I'm fairly good on a piano. Maybe we can try something together. It'll be fun."

Brad struggled to continue saying words from time to time, instead of gawking speechlessly at his date. "You... you didn't..."

"Because you didn't." The raccoon shrugged again. "I didn't want to press you on it. Might have been annoying, I thought."

The wolf nodded almost thoughtfully, floored. "I... I see, then."

"But that's not the point. It doesn't event matter if we have things in common, because... Well... I guess I was a little apprehensive at first. It always takes me time to get comfortable with people, and ideas, like all this. But I've had a really nice time tonight, Brad, and I think... I really like you a lot. You're such a sweet guy. I've never met anyone like you before." He was trembling a bit with intensity or cold, Brad couldn't tell. "And if... if you want to be with me, I... I mean, I don't think I'm that great of a catch, but..."

"You're wrong," Brad said flatly. "You have no idea how incredible you are. I've... I've never wanted to be with someone this badly, if you want to know. I guess I've... really fallen for you hardcore."

Jonathon smiled slowly. "Alright. Then it's pretty clear what we should do, right?"

"It... it is?"

"Of course, silly. It seems like we have something here, and I want to see where it goes. So if you want to be together..." Gulp. "...then let's try it."

Shiver. "You'll... you'll give me a chance?" Brad whispered.

Jonathon looked at him solemnly. "I'll give you... a lot more than just one, Brad."

The breath Brad had held escaped slowly, a delicate, tremulous sigh. At the same time, the raccoon drew closer. Jonathon's black nose brushed the wolf's dark brown, both soft and damp (as they always were), conveying a host of information about the other party. It was a murmuring sussurus for most furs, a familiar footnote for others... But at close range, Brad's scent, still so new and strange, was strong, thick, intoxicating.

Their mouths met softly.

Brad had sharp teeth. His tongue was big and flat. His mouth tasted like the garlic in the pasta he'd eaten. Jonathon probably tasted like fish.

Don't cut yourself on his teeth. Talk about awkward.

Really, this was the first kiss they'd both anticipated, wasn't it? The first one they could both really enjoy.

Jonathon kept his paws in the vicinity of Brad's neck, where they had rested since the wolf had uttered that desperate outburst. Brad's arms wrapped around his lower torso. They were sitting on a bench in the park, twisted toward each other. Two guys, kissing in public. It was probably a good thing Mitch wasn't around to see this, because the gryphon was so far down the list of things Jonathon cared about right now that he might as well have inhabited another dimension.

It was hard to describe the way it felt, Jonathon realized. It was so... good. What a stupid thing to say. He kissed Brad and it was good.

It was not the description, but the magnitude, that was important. It was so good. It was so... right. So wonderful. He liked this guy, and this guy liked him, and he really liked this guy, and this guy really liked him, and they were kissing and it was all kinds of great. "All kinds of fuck yeah," as Mitch would have said.

Jonathon didn't make a habit of french-kissing people. He couldn't recall his kiss total, but it was greater than three and less than ten. Brad had a much longer and more meaningless history of liplocking, but it had been a long time since Dillon, and longer still since he'd felt something this spectacular, this emotional, behind the familiar urge to mesh muzzles.

Fuck yeah.

Jonathon had the most uncomfortable stiffy right now. Brad was mashing their maws together, teeth nipping his lips gently as their tongues wrestled and caressed each other. It was intensely erotic. The raccoon could definitely stand a bit more of this in the future. Or a lot more of it. He squirmed, trying to adjust himself without breaking the embrace.

Unfortunately, Brad didn't catch the intent of the gesture, and pulled back, eyes opening blearily as if he'd just woken after a night of clubbing. A string of saliva bridged the gap between their muzzles as they drew apart; unthinkingly, Brad dipped his head forward and lapped it back with his tongue... and then smiled a little and pressed a soft, close-lipped kiss onto the raccoon's half-open mouth.

Jonathon returned it. It was quick, sudden, imperative, and yet it somehow carried as much emotion as the many seconds of tongue-play that had preceded it. An exclamation point following the ellipsis.

...!

Panting, Jonathon wiped his mouth on the back of his paw, and then gave in and just grabbed ahold of things and fixed them. Brad's gaze followed the gesture to the tent in the raccoon's pants; the wolf chuckled a bit, breathing roughly himself. "Good, wasn't that?"

Jonathon looked back at him, nodded. "Yeah. That was good."

"Yeah."

Magnitude. They both understood it.

They breathed in each other's faces for a moment. Brad was smiling now, a small, quiet, earnest smile. It was infectious. Jonathon had never seen him look quite like that.

Beat the hell out of 'please...'.

"So... I have a question..." Brad said, after a moment.

"I'm all ears," the raccoon replied. "Though I'll be all mouth if you kiss me again."

"Heheh, I'll be sure and get on that in a moment," Brad smirked, "but first... Do you like pie?"

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I am still extremely pleased with this episode. It just... went really well, and I'm really, really happy with it, particularly with how Brad came out in it. It was a blast to write, that's for sure; I love being able to work emotively and really empathize with my characters; hopefully I was also able to foster the same sense of empathy in readers.

On the 'Non-FA' front, I'm actually juggling several new-ish writing projects right now, and some RL things are catching up to me, but I'm making good progress on my current projects and am pleased to report that none of them have stalled - I've historically had a big problem with that, so if I can transition to finishing the things I start, I will be very pleased.

As always, comments and critique encouraged, see you next week. :3