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Genie makes arrangements with Grim to take the team to Asgard where they might hope to solve the mystery about how Garm keeps getting loose. Hela okays the team's being there because they have solved so many other mysteries, thus far, so perhaps they can solve this mystery, as well...

Coming up next on Hazardous Materials!

HM-03 The Mystery of Garm's Chain - 07/24/2006 Written By The Writing Team Of Darrel Vanwinkle & Joanna Vanwinkle

It was roughly 4 weeks after The Haunted Toy Factory (see HM Eps 2), and 2 weeks after Pirates of the Old Fort (a recap of this will be included in the wedding episode later.) Most of the team members' groundings had finally ended. And thanks to some strings pulled by Alex, all of the team members had converged once again at Mikael's San Francisco home.

Genie smiled as she saw everyone arriving. "Hey guys! Have I got a mystery for us! You're going to love it!"

Hel, holding Garm by a very sturdy leash, stood by a shimmering portal in the corner of the room. Of course Garm looked forlorn at the end of the leash, but he made no effort to get loose. Hel gently stroked Garm's head, pausing to scratch him behind the ears.

"Are you SERIOUS??" Trina demanded. "Won't the Gods be pissy with us up there digging around?"

"AHEM," Hel said. "This is becoming a serious problem in Asgard. Even Odin took notice the last time," he scowled at Garm, who just hung his head. "There has been whispers in the Great Hall of the coming of Gotterdammerung."

"Say what?" Vicky asked.

"Oh, sorry. The present mortals call it Ragnarok," Hel clarified.

"And is that a bad thing?" Vicky asked, she clearly wasn't familiar with Norse mythology.

Hel sighed. "Let me explain what Ragnarok actually means to the gods.

Ragnarok ("Doom of the Gods"), also called Gotterdammerung, means the end of the cosmos in Norse mythology. It will be preceded by Fimbulvetr, the winter of winters. Three such winters will follow each other with no summers in between. Conflicts and feuds will break out, even between families, and all morality will disappear. This is the beginning of the end.

The wolf Skoll will finally devour the sun, and his brother Hati will eat the moon, plunging the earth into darkness. The stars will vanish from the sky. The cock Fjalar will crow to the giants and the golden cock Gullinkambi will crow to the gods. A third cock will raise the dead.

The earth will shudder with earthquakes, and every bond and fetter will burst, freeing the terrible wolf Fenrir. The sea will rear up because Jormungand, the Midgard Serpent, is twisting and writhing in fury as he makes his way toward the land. With every breath, Jormungand will stain the soil and the sky with his poison. The waves caused by the serpent's emerging will set free the ship Naglfar, and with the giant Hymir as their commander, the giants will sail towards the battlefield. From the realm of the dead a second ship will set sail, and this ship carries the inhabitants of hell, with Loki as their helmsman. The fire giants, led by the giant Surt, will leave Muspell in the south to join against the gods. Surt, carrying a sword that blazes like the sun itself, will scorch the earth.

Meanwhile, Heimdall will sound his horn, calling the sons of Odin and the heroes to the battlefield. From all the corners of the world, gods, giants, dwarves, demons and elves will ride towards the huge plain of Vigrid ("battle shaker") where the last battle will be fought. Odin will engage Fenrir in battle, and Thor will attack Jormungand. Thor will be victorious, but the serpent's poison will gradually kill the god of thunder. Surt will seek out the swordless Freyr, who will quickly succumb to the giant. The one-handed Tyr will fight the monstrous hound Garm and they will kill each other. Loki and Heimdall, age-old enemies, will meet for a final time, and neither will survive their encounter. The fight between Odin and Fenrir will rage for a long time, but finally Fenrir will seize Odin and swallow him. Odin's son Vidar will at once leap towards the wolf and kill him with his bare hands, ripping the wolf's jaws apart.

Then Surt will fling fire in every direction. The nine worlds will burn, and friends and foes alike will perish. The earth will sink into the sea.

After the destruction, a new and idyllic world will arise from the sea and will be filled with abundant supplies. Some of the gods will survive, others will be reborn. Wickedness and misery will no longer exist and gods and men will live happily together. The descendants of Lif and Lifthrasir will inhabit this earth.

The ends will not justify the means," he finished.

**Article "Ragnarok" created on 03 March 1997; last modified on 05 December 1999 (Revision 2). 538 words.

http://www.pantheon.org/articles/r/ragnarok.html © MCMXCV - MMVI Encyclopedia Mythica™. All rights reserved.**

Mark said, "Some video games call Ragnarok... the end of the world, Vicky. It would be like an Asgardian street gang called Loki's Losers muscling in on your turf, and you and your girl friends couldn't do anything about it. Would you really want that? Or maybe, Surtur deciding that he wanted your special little car for a chariot."

Ivan, who was in attendance this time, said, "I'm assuming that the Chain that normally holds Garm needs an expert examination. You know, if Hela had a Carrington Security System in place, this sort of thing would literally not happen."

Alex was looking at Garm. "My father wasn't too happy seeing Garm in our living room, this last time. Any idea why he keeps coming to where ever I happen to be, Hel?"

Reena was there rubbing her butt. "I had to let my dad give me a spanking before he'd let me come on this trip. His reasoning was that he knew I'd go anyway, so he'd just spank me before I left and get it over with."

Genie grinned. "He probably just spanked you because he knew you'd likely get to see that stud hunter, Lord Frey."

Andrew and Lionel stood nearby, each with backpacks filled with camping gear, compasses, and other necessities, including toilet paper.

Mikael exclaimed, "Genie made this possible for us and it is for a good cause. I mean, we don't want ''on the rag-narok'' to cum all over the Earth. They'd have to put up with Erina's parents, and who'd want that?"

"Oh," Vicky said. "I can see why that would suck." Vicky frowned as she thought about their upcoming mission.

"Well, Ivan," Hel began, "Garm's chain is enchanted. Therefore, whatever is happening to allow him to get loose must also be from some sort of enchantment. Personally, I'd vote for my father being the culprit seeing as how he is having the serpent's venom drip into his eyes until Ragnarok cums, as Mikael so crudely put it. As to why he keeps going to Alex, again, I'd have to say it had to do with some sort of enchantment. That is why I have this special collar and leash that Helga has graciously allowed me to borrow until we can get to the bottom of this mystery."

"At least you don't have to deal with The Teacher," Trina muttered to Reena. "That friggin ruler hurts."

Erina smiled. "My mother and father would just step back and wait for the dust to clear. Or move on to another plane. Being a multi-planar demon allows my father plenty of clearance to move between universes as well as planes. I once heard him say that he had several wives and they were all the same woman, my mother." She shrugged. "Any way, there are those who would bend over gladly to put up with my father."

Mikael then said, "Anyway, Odin is allowing us to bring along others, if we choose to, which is why I am taking Lionel, and Mark is bringing Andrew. So, if you'd like anyone to accompany you to help guard your backside, you may call them now."

Genie smiled. "Our first stop is Odin's throne room where we have to listen to him talk about something, then it's off to Garm's house, I mean... Hela's Realm."

Alex hummed. "I wonder if the enchantment has anything to do with my being an alien unicorn..."

"Do you really think it would be safe bringing normal folk along?" Vicky asked. "I mean, alot of the gods and other creatures aren't known for their preferences as to whom they pounce and molest."

Hel chuckled, "He just has to give his all-seeing all-father spiel. Which, given the circumstances, doesn't cast him in such a good light, what with Garm getting loose on a daily basis."

"You know that is a thought," Vinnie said, suddenly arriving. "Sorry I'm late. I had to pack some necessities. But Alex's true form may be something we might need to consider as a catalyst."

"Say, huh?" Vicky asked, really hating being lost in the conversation.

"He's just saying that perhaps Alex's true form is the reason that someone keeps letting Garm loose," Trina clarified. "What I want to know is how they can do it without Garm seeing or smelling them."

"Like I said. It is a powerful enchantment," Hel said, scratching Garm's ears.

Alex said, "You mean I should go as my other form?"

Mikael said, "Lionel has to come with me... he's my responsibility. As for Andrew, I think he'd be bored all weekend if we were all off somewhere having fun and he was here all alone. He might even get in trouble if we left him here. So he has to come along. None of the rest of you has to bring anyone, but I was saying that you were allowed to bring others."

Genie grinned. "I would bring Grim, but he's off in the Philippines collecting the latest mess of deaders from the most recent tsunami disaster. It's been a busy year for him."

Andrew hummed. "I've always wondered what Garm's house was like. Maybe he comes to Earth because his house isn't as nice as your houses. At any rate, I can't wait to see his place and the other kennels I've read about in the Mythology books."

"I think it would probably be best, Alex," Vinnie said after some consideration.

"Andrew," Hel began. "I doubt that we will have any need to go to the other kennels. At least I pray that we don't. I don't even like going down there. They are filthy and the beasts contained there aren't as fun and safe as Garm."

Kevin appeared looking like he'd like nothing better than to choke something. "Are we ready? Do you think there will be a chance of us getting into a real honest to goodness fight?"

"Well, I'm sure the Three Heroes will be in a tavern somewhere if you wanna get involved in one of their brawls," Hel informed him. "Just make sure that you don't let Volstagg sit on you. We'd never be able to find you."

Alex loosened his clothes, then concentrated and transformed into his anthropomorphic Alien White Unicorn form. "At least no one Earth will see me like this." He then set about refitting his clothes.

Genie looked at Kevin. "We haven't seen you in 4 weeks, Kevin. Where you been?"

Andrew looked at Hel. "You mean all the kennels are worse than the ones on Earth? Even Frey's, Odin's, Tyr's, Vidar's, and Fossergard Forest's pack?"

Lionel arched an eye at Andrew. "Where'd you learn about all that?"

Andrew looked at Lionel. "There was a weird carnival that passed through my home area once, and a strange old and slender wizardly man with a green hat had a picture book containing information on a lot of other worldly stuff. He let me read the book while he told fortunes to several female customers. Though most of their fortunes were bad sounding, and a majority of the females slapped his face before departing."

"I've been fighting with my mother for the past four weeks about the variety of grievances. The least of which was the whereabouts of my father, which is what actually set about the war. Then was there was the whole thing with providing criminals with the scientific equipment to block mental scans. Finally, there was just the whole big blow up about me going to Asgard. Apparantly, she thinks I might find someone there who can give me some information that she doesn't want me to have. Seeing as how Asgard is full of gods, then it is a good chance that might happen," Kevin said in a rush, grinning wickedly at the end. "Oh, and I went to Connecticut to the costume shop for this!"

Kevin held his hands aloft and a shimmering aura surrounded him for a moment as his everyday clothes of jeans, athletic shoes, and t-shirt was replaced by a white skin hugging costume complete with black knee-high boots and black gloves. On the front and back of the costume was a huge, black pentagram. One point pointed toward his head, a point went all the way down each arm and down each leg.

"This really pissed my mom off! I told her she could just stick it because I was going to Asgard and I wasn't about to go in my street clothes," Kevin finished smiling.

Hel arched one brow at Kevin's new threads. Then he turned to address Andrew. "The thing to remember is that, unless he had actually been to Asgard himself to gather the information, the information available to mortals is lacking at best," he said.

Andrew grinned, "Would it help to say that I couldn't read the words, but was more than impressed with the pictures?"

Genie laughed out loud! "Boy does HE have a lot to learn! Were there any pictures of divinities in the nude?"

Andrew replied, "I couldn't really tell. The skimpiest dresser, in my humble opinion, was Lorelei... the old wizard told me the names of some of the pictures..."

Reena grinned. "I'm ready to go whenever you guys are ready! Maybe I can play a game of fireballs with Surtur!"

Hel chuckled. "Well, you'll see for yourself when we get there. Since everyone seems to be prepared, let us set off," he said, turning and leading the way through the portal, leading Garm through after him.

"This is definitely going to be intersting," Trina said. "Do you think we'll see alot of nudity?" she asked.

As Alex walked through the portal, he said at Trina... "Maybe, unless you plan on going naked..."

Ivan rolled his eyes, as he walked through the portal next. "Their minds are already in the gutter, Vinnie. Why can't they stay focused like me?"

"That would be because they're children," Vinnie informed. "They have yet to grasp the concept of staying focused." Vinnie stepped lightly through the portal.

"I stay plenty focused thankyouverymuch," Vicky said, glumly, walking through the portal.

Andrew headed through the portal next, being very focused... he wants to see where Garm lives. ;)

Mikael and Lionel were next afterwards, followed by Mark, and then Reena and Genie.

Genie glanced at Hel. "I am still surprised that your sister insisted that we come and investigate what was going on."

"That's because until we can figure out how Garm keeps getting loose, she has her hands full keeping the disgraced down where they belong," Hel explained.

Kevin stepped through the portal, followed by Erina who said, "Let's try to keep the mortals from getting molested while we're here, shall we?"

Reena laughed! "Too late! You let Trina in!" ;)

Mark smirked. "Someone might not survive this trip, and I don't think it's Trina that I am talking about..."

Trina just smiled. "I'm not disgraced. I'm loud and proud."

"All right, everyone," Hel addressed them, once they were all through the portal. "Welcome to Odin's hall. He wishes to address us before we set out on our mission.

Valhalla, The Hall of the Slain, is presided over by Odin. This vast hall has five hundred and forty doors. The rafters are spears, the hall is roofed with shields and breast-plates litter the benches. A wolf guards the western door and an eagle hovers over it. It is here that the Valkyries, Odin's messengers and spirits of war, bring the heroes that died on the battle fields. These heroes, the Einherjar, are prepared in Valhalla for the oncoming battle of Ragnarok. When the battle commences, eight hundred warriors will march shoulder to shoulder out of each door.

So you see," Hel finished, "why everyone is so upset. Right now the warriors are preparing for war, on the off chance that Ragnarok is truly coming."

Ivan grinned. "We could just have Switcher Woman waiting outside the gates of Ragnarok, along with a jelly jar, and anyone dumb enough to break that jar gets what they deserve." He winked.

Odin appeared with a grim look on his face. He then said to Ivan, "I doubt that would prevent Ragnarok."

Ivan replied, "You ever been switched by her?"

Odin replied back, "No."

Ivan then said, "Well, until you have, don't make statements you can't back up. I have been switched by her, and it's worse than Frigga with a rolling pin."

Andrew remained quiet, but he did have his eyes on a pair of canines nearby.

Freke and Gere were sitting just outside the doors of Vahalla evaluating the group of mortals that Hel had brought in. Well, mortals and a dead girl. Okay, okay... mortals, a dead girl, a half-demon, and... all right already... Andrew was truly the only mortal present.

Odin said, "Because the current situation is a serious problem, and because Hela demanded that your team be hired to solve this matter, that and that alone is why you were given this permission to come in and do your thing. Hel has informed me of some of your detective mysteries that your team have solved in the past. Because the result of your failure is Ragnarok, don't give up and follow whatever lead you can. I have issued word around the Asgardian realms that your team is be given clear passage into where ever you need to go while following anything you're investigating." He then paused, then blushed slightly, saying, "Frigga also extends an invitation to your team to visit her Summer Residence and have a meal with her, when you have the time." Then he resumed his grim visage. "A few of the so-called lords of the realms may not comply to my request to give you free passage. If you encounter any resistance, you have my personal permission to do whatever you need to do to them, I MEAN, to do in their realm." He winked.

Reena automatically was thinking Surtur and the Dark Elves.

Hel still held tightly to Garm's leash as Odin gave his speech. None of the team had ever seen Hel look so grim and determined. He was truly disturbed by the circumstances.

"You ok, Hel?" Erina asked, laying a hand on his bare white shoulder.

Hel sighed. "I don't think you all realize what the coming of Ragnarok will truly mean," he began. Erina nodded to show he should continue and so he did. "Every living thing on Midgard will be wiped out. That includes all of you. All of my friends. Garm can't help that he likes to romp with you guys. But even he realizes what his continued, daily, freedom will eventually mean. We have to find out who is making it possible for him to escape and placing the enchantment on him. Otherwise, this may be our last mission," he finished, looking at Garm sadly.

Garm softly whined, and placed his huge head beneath Hel's hand.

"We will get to the bottom of this," Erina said, understanding for the first time what was at stake if they failed.

As soon as Odin was finished speaking, Hel stepped forward. "Thank you, Odin. May I suggest that we take Frigga up on her offer of sustenance before we begin? Some of the places we will be going won't be too gracious with their offerings."

Odin replied, "Yes, Hel. That might be a good idea. Freke and Gere will accompany and escort your team around the realms. Please solve this, or there will be much blood shed unnecessarily." Odin then started to depart, then stopped as he seemed to eye Alex with some interest. "Are you..." He began, but then halted himself and once again departed. Apparently he, for a moment, thought Alex was someone else. But who?

Alex whewed, as he glanced at Hel and Garm. "Odin sure can give a person the shakes without meaning to."

Genie hummed. "It looked to me like he thought you were someone else, Alex. I didn't think there was any Asgardian unicorns, though... so I can't figure out who he thought you were."

Ivan said to Hel, "I'm sorry I made that Switcher Woman joke. I was hoping that Odin would get the joke and be able to release some tension. I know that this is a serious situation and we will solve it. We're Hazardous Materials, after all."

Andrew then asked, "If Garm can break an enchanted chain every day, what's stopping him from breaking the enchanted leash you have him on? Otherwise, why can't you simply replace the chain with whatever the material that this leash is made from and be done with it?"

Mikael said, "I am sure it involves acid, like Genie suggested to me a few days ago. She said that when she was able to get a good look at the broken chain before, it looked like acid was on the chain fragments."

Reena said, "How do we get to Frigga's Summer Residence? Do we yell, Taxi, or something?"

Lionel smirked. "I doubt Steam Mouse will show up with his cab."

Mark glanced over at Freke and Gere. "Why don't we just go with our escorts? Odin said they were to accompany us."

"Your apology is not necessary, Ivan. I understand what you were hoping to accomplish. Unfortunately, the tension is reaching a breaking point here in Asgard. Everyone is on edge and the strife between the realms is growing by bounds," Hel explained. "As for this leash, as I said before, Helga gave it to us to use, TEMPORARILY. She was very explicit that she wanted it returned when we solved our problem. Don't ask me why. I do not question Helga."

Kevin was admiring some of the artwork on the walls. "Perhaps Loki could shed some light about the acid thing?" he asked. "I mean, he does have to spend all his time getting snake venom dripped into his eyes. At least until Ragnarok, then he gets to join in the fighting. Sounds like a good motive to me."

"Maybe you're from Asgard, Alex," Vicky said. "Although I doubt it."

"Pan would know about Asgardian unicorns," Erina said. "After all, that is his realm here."

"Why is everything here in Asgard wolf based?" Trina asked. "Aren't there any feline types around here?"

Vinnie, who had been conversing quietly with Freke and Gere, looked at the others and smiled. "Let's not waste time. I'm sure we are all famished. And I'm sure that Frigga's meal will be divine."

Genie said to Trina, "Canines = Asgardian... Felines = Egyptian, though they have some sexy canines, too."

And with that, the team was escorted between Valhalla to Frigga's Summer Residence, which resided on the southern edge of Lord Frey's elven forests.

Frigga's servants welcomed the team into the residence, then proceeded to bring food and refreshments to the humongous dining table.

Frigga made her appearance, whereas she conversed quietly with Hel, at first, then she eyed Alex for a moment................. ......................... .................. ......... ................ ................... .................. .............. ...................... ............... ............. ............ .............. Then, Frigga whispered to Hel and asked, "Why is one of Silvanus' chosen in Asgard? Or am I wrong... for he seems to have an unworldly aura about him... something that suggests non-midgardian origin..."

"Well, at least the Egyptians are equal opportunity," Trina muttered.

"I think it has more to do with the climate," Vinnie injected.

Hel smiled. "I do believe he is other-worldly. Though his exact origins remain a mystery," he answered. "If I'm not mistaken there are several worlds with beings of his type that dominate the planet."

Frigga whispered, "Perhaps that should be your team's next mission. And while you're gone from the Earth, we'll destroy it." Then aloud, she said, "Please, have a seat and dine on the finest food we have to offer." Frigga gave Garm a big platter with a steak on it, and 2 equally large platters to Freke and Gere.

The others seated themselves at the table.

"Lady Frigga, your home is lovely, and your gracious hospitality is extremely welcomed by my comrades and I," Vinnie said.

Vicky about choked on her mead. She cast a glance at Alex and grinned. She wondered who Vinnie was trying to impress.

Hel was quiet throughout the meal. He was contemplating what Frigga had said about their next mission. He was pretty sure that Alex would be all for it.

Andrew finished his meal, though it was obvious that the others were going for seconds. Apparently, ordinary mortals needed less food than the weirdos. Therefore, Andrew chose this moment to go use the out-building, then he took a short walk around the Summer Residence. "This is a pretty nice place. A little too clean to be what I expect Garm's house will be like. For another plane with a canine theme... there aren't too many around. I guess the best kennels are located on hunting lords estates. What I see around Frigga's Summer Residence are horses and deer. Though no offense to Frigga... but I somehow can't see her riding any of these animals."

Back at the dining table, Mark was performing some parlor magic for those gathered there. Nothing super magical, but sleight of hand is sometimes more impressive than actual magic.

One moment Vicky was watching Mark's sleight-of-hand, and the next moment she was sound asleep. Her breathing was deep and steady, and her mind was blessedly blank. She was warm and content and, for the first time in months, felt completely safe.

"I believe it is time that we were beginning our investigation," Hel said, he noticed Andrew had went outside, and he noticed Vicky had fallen asleep. He was thinking that it might be best to leave them here. For Andrew it would be safer, and Vicky needed the rest. "That is, if everyone has had enough to eat?"

Mikael ahemed. "Perhaps the whole team shouldn't go to Hela's place to investigate the chain. I think we should split up our forces into three groups and investigate various aspects of the mystery. What are three things that need done, for sure, that is?"

Reena said, "Some of us definitely have to examine that chain and allay any worries with Hela. Perhaps Hel's word that we're working on this isn't enough. Secondly, some of us need to go talk to Loki, for which he might enjoy talking to some mortals for awhile. And thirdly... and it might not seem like as great as the other two, someone needs to go around and interview the other gods and goddesses and lords and such. Perhaps one of them have seen something that they didn't think at the time was linked to Garm being released every day. So guys, do you think my idea is a good one? Hela's realm for one team, and preferably, only those who are tough should go there. Loki for the second team, and preferably, only those who are least susceptible to being tricked. And interviewing the other powers for those remaining."

"I believe that is a splended idea," Hel said, smiling. "Since Vicky seems to be getting some much needed sleep for a change, we'll just leave her here. Frigga has already said that we can use her palace as a base while we are here. As for whom to send where. I don't think Genie should go anywhere near Niflheim seeing as how she is already dead and Hela may want to keep her as a token or some such a crap as that. You know what a bitch my sister is," Hel sighed. "Anyway, I think Genie, Erina, Mikael, and Vinnie should go talk to Loki. Trina, Ivan, Mark, and Kevin can go and investigate the chain and see what you can find. Alex, Reena, and I will go around and talk to the other Gods, Goddesses, and heroes to see if they have noticed any suspicious activity going on."

"Sounds like a pretty good plan to me," Vinnie said, standing. "Does that mean you are taking Garm around with you?"

"I don't have a choice," Hel looked at Garm sadly. "It wouldn't do any good to take him back to his post. At least this way, he's already with Alex so I don't have to be as concerned with him taking off to wherever Alex is."

Genie was telling Ivan what to look for on the broken chain, in detail, seeing as how Genie wasn't going to get to go with them to look at the chain, and Genie's already seen the chain once.

Ivan took notes, as he usually did.

Mikael said to Erina, "What do you think Loki will say when we get there?" Mikael held on to Lionel while he spoke to Erina.

Alex grinned and scritched Garm's coat. "Hel, I seem to recall that Odin assigned Freke and Gere to accompany our team. Now that we're all splitting up, who are they going to be going with?"

Mark said to Kevin, "What do you think we'll see in Niflheim?"

Reena placed a comforter over Vicky, then walked over to stand on one of the balconies. "Can't wait to set myself on fire!"

Andrew was in a bit of a spot.

He only wanted to know what it would be like to sit on the back of a golden stag. Now the stag was running and leaping through the forest, while Andrew was holding on tight and begging the animal to ''please stop''. This continued for what seemed like an eternity, but in truth was in less than 90 seconds... then the golden stag came to an abrupt stop, quickly dipping it's head and antlers forward and down out of the way, which sent Andrew flying forward and off of the animal...

...and directly into a sticky bog!

And the Asgardian animals that were there at the time either scattered, giggled and/or smirked, or simply looked at the mortal that had been ejected into their midst.

The golden stag then raised it's head, snorted a bit, then turned and trotted off with a smug and proud look on it's muzzle, returning the way it had come. Obviously, no one rode this stag other than Frigga.

Andrew rolled over slowly and sat up. He was covered in sticky bog mud. "Dammit... my clothes are ruined."

Erina thought for a moment then said, "He'll probably say that he's glad that Ragnarok is at hand because that means he'll be free from his punishment."

"One will go around with the group interviewing the inhabitants of Asgard and the other will go with the group to Loki's prison. The group going to investigate the chain will be alright on their own," he said.

"I don't know," Kevin remarked. "Probably a lot of pissed off dead people. And most likely a really bitchy Hela."

Alex smiled, "Then let's get this excursion under way, folks. Freke can go with the Chain Gang bang... and Gere can make sure Loki doesn't pull a fast one."

And the three teams set off to their destinations...

Arvandor Forest

Andrew slowly crawled toward one side of the bog, but was suddenly pulled back by what appeared to be a sea otter.

"You really don't want to get out on that side, kiddo. That side belongs to King Surtur, lord of the fire giants. If you went there, he'd have you roasting over a fire pit in no time."

Andrew looked at the Sea Otter with an arched eye. "I have to get out someplace. My clothes are ruined. What am I to do?"

The sea otter sat up and said, "You're lucky Goldenrod dumped you here instead of into the gully of the imp foxes. You'd have never have gotten away from them without help. My name is Aegir Otter, lord of the seas and storms. I frequent this place often, when I am not pestering the guys in the tavern, or badgering the sea wolves of the Asgardian Sea. You come with me, and we'll have a friend of mine help you get your clothes cleaned up. After that, we can see about getting you back to where ever you encountered Goldenrod at."

Aegir escorted Andrew out of the bog and down a backstream toward a village that was close by.

Niflheim

Trina, Ivan, Mark, and Kevin stood in front of the gates to Niflheim.

Mark summoned a giant doorbell and rang it.

DING DONG!

Ivan giggled then said, "I don't think Hela will be in the mood for ding dong jokes, Mark."

Mark replied, "Do you see a doorbell or a knocker?"

Ivan grinned! "No, but I see a ''dumbbell'' and some ''knockers''!"

Kevin just snickered.

"I'm glad you find this so amusing, mortals," Hela boomed. "Over there is where that worthless animal is supposed to be chained up," she indicated a large metallic plate set into the ground with a huge ring attached to it. Attached to the ring was a length of chain.

"For the record," she said, glaring at each of them in turn, "I doubt your ablilities to solve this perplexing perdiciment. But this was Hel's suggestion and Odin backs him up. So have at it. And remember not to step beyond the gates into Niflheim or you may not be able to leave." She grinned evilly.

Mark then said to Hela, "We were under the impression that you insisted that we investigate this matter. If you think that we can't do it, then why ask us to come at all?"

Ivan was kneeling to examine the ends of the chain. "Mark's right, Hela...Everyone involved said that this whole trip was your idea." Then he muttered, "...though if you had a Carrington Security System, we wouldn't even have to be here in the first place... ameteurs...sheesh..." And he resumed his examination on the chain, looking for what Genie told him to be on watch for.

Loki's Punishment

Genie, Erina, Mikael with Lionel in tow, and Vinnie arrived at the location where Loki was being punished for all eternity. There was a huge serpent present, several Valkyries, a few Asgardian warriors, and of course, the star of this stage, Loki himself.

Genie huhed. "For someone getting punished, why does it look like he's getting the Hollywood treatment?"

Mikael replied, "It's a punishment, all right. That poor serpent has to sit there and look at Loki every day."

Hela continued to glare. "I request you because as mortals," she said with the most contempt possible, "you are not bound by the same rules of etiquette as we Gods."

Trina scoffed. "In other words, the gods are too stupid to figure it out because it doesn't fit into their predefined niche," she said, gaining a dark scowl from Hela.

Kevin outright laughed at that. "Why don't you run along and tend to your duties, Hela. Let us mortals handle this," he made it sound as if he were speaking to a small, simple child.

Hela stormed off.

"Naw," Erina said, "there isn't enough lights for this to be a Hollywood production."

Vinnie smiled. "Excuse us, Loki, Lord of Mischief. We have a few questions to ask you, if you'd be so kind."

Loki replied with an annoying sound, "Who is there? A new voice, to be sure. Smells like a Surge, though... the way everyone is talking about Ragnarok though, anything might be possible. Not that I am looking forward to being thumped in battle. Dammit Jim, I am a trickster, not a warrior."

Lord Thrym's Frosty Battlements

Alex, Reena, Hel, and Garm had arrived in the frost giant's throne room. And King Thrym wasn't too thrilled to be having warm-blooded visitors, particularly one who could instantly set herself on fire.

"If it isn't Hel and his disobediant mastiff. What do you want here? Like I have nothing better to do with my time than to listen to your sister whine and moan and bitch."

Vinnie smiled. "It's been awhile, Loki," and with a wave of his hand the snake stopped dropping its venom into Loki's eyes and Loki's wife stepped back. The other warriors merely stood back observing. "My friends and I are here investigating the repeated escapes of a certain guard dog. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Lord Thrym," Hel bowed respectfully. "We have come to ask you some questions about who might benefit most from the coming of Ragnarok. If you'll be so kind as to answer them."

Loki glanced over at Vinnie. "What makes you think that I had time to plan anything with poison dripping in my eyes and a throng of people and Odin's own valkyries stationed around me. Puh-lease..."

Lord Thrym grinned at Hel. "So your sister has you playing lapdog! This is so rich! And here I thought you had the brains in that family, Hel!" He then stood up and said, "You've been on Earth too long, Hel, if you think any lord, good or evil, that you talk to is going to just tell you what you want to know... You've completely forgotten about the women who know everything. They can't tell you the future, but the past is already woven in their threads." He then turned and pulled an axe off the wall. "Now, unless you have some serious business with me, you better leave."

Vinnie smiled. "Of course they're only here because of the incident with Garm now aren't they? You don't honestly expect us to believe that they've been here watching you since the beginning of your punishment? I know the story and legends a bit better than that."

"Of course, Lord Thrym," Hel bowed again quickly, then ushered his friends out.

"Like I hadn't thought of asking them," he muttered to himself. "It's just that they are harder to get anything out of than the giants. What do you guys think?"

Reena said, "He was awfully eager to shove us out of there. Too eager."

Alex said, "Of course. He's a frost giant. Reena, you're a flame element. If I was a frost unicorn, I wouldn't want a flame element in my lair either."

Reena growled, "Are you saying that he didn't talk because of me?"

Alex folded his arms and nodded his head. "Yes."

Reena growled and fumed, as he stalked off to let off a little steam. Fortunately, she hasn't gone too far.

Alex then said, "Now would be a good time to ask Thrym a second time, without Reena's presence, Hel."

Loki sighed. "Honestly, Vinnie. When do I have the time to make such a cocky plan, run over to Hela's realm without anyone seeing me, sabotage Garm's chain, then return here without letting a single drop of poison miss my eyes? You tell me that."

Hel nodded. "Wait here and keep an eye on her," he said indicating Reena as he reentered Thrym's lair.

"Lord Thrym, forgive my intrusion again, perhaps now you could tell me a bit more now that the hot head is out of your presence?" Hel asked, hiding his hopefullness. He didn't think Thrym would tell him anything, but Alex seemed to think he might so he'd give it a try.

"So you haven't had any visitors asking you seeming random questions? Besides us?" Vinnie asked, just to make sure.

Thrym hrmed, then lowered himself to one knee and spoke to Hel in a hushed manner. "About 2 months ago, a hooded female traveled the realms, visiting every male personage, whether good or evil, and she seemed to study these people's appearances. And that is what I know, Hel. I don't know who the woman was, but evidently, it had to be for a purpose that was no good."

Loki sighed again. "I'm telling you the truth! I know I am a notorious liar most of the time, but my wife can swear that I have not left this spot!" He then thought for a few moments... "...although... there was a visitor a few months ago... a lady... she said she wanted to study me for a while. But she was gone after a day or so..."

Simultaneously Hel and Vinnie hmmed.

"Thank you, Lord Thrym. We will look into that," Hel bowed again and left quickly.

Once outside he told Alex and Reena what he had learned.

"A woman you say? Thank you, Loki," Vinnie said. "Oh, and I apologize but," and with a wave of his hand Loki's punishment resumed.

"Why would some woman want to study Loki?" Erina asked, confused.

Alex hummed. "A woman who studies what men look like, to use for what purpose? I think, Hel, that whoever this is must be able to change their appearance to look like the men she's studied. And that would mean that whoever freed Garm must have been able to make themselves look like you, as well. Therefore, anyone who ever saw anything around Garm would only see you there... and that would be reason enough for Hela to blow a gasket, because at a distance... it would look to Hela like you were the one releasing Garm. And that would explain most of her rant sessions toward you. She saw someone who had your appearance freeing Garm. And if Garm wasn't on guard to know to check for a scent, to him, it would be you freeing him. But that still doesn't explain why he kept coming to my location on Earth. There must be something more that we are missing here. Anyway..."

Reena said, "Yes... where do we go next?"

Mikael nodded to Vinnie. "So we're looking for a woman now? And we don't know what she looks like."

Lionel said, "But she has the ability to change her appearance, maybe... why else would she study men, unless she was going to be having sex with them..."

Genie ewwwwwed. "That's nasty! What do you think, Erina?"

Ivan hummed as he finished examining the chain. "This isn't acid. It's fairy venom. I recognize it from one time when The Witch and I had to make a potion to stop a crazy weed from taking over the entire eastern seaboard. In it's raw form, it can eat through any metal that isn't blessed by a fae priest."

Mark said, "So you're saying that the culprit is someone who knows fairy magic?"

Ivan replied, "Sure looks that way. And I know neither Hel nor Hela deals in fairy magic."

The sea otter helped Andrew back into his now clean clothes. "Why is a mortal in Arvandor, Andrew?"

Andrew replied, quite honestly, telling Aegir all about Hazardous Materials' current mission in Asgard and how he accidentally took a ride on Goldenrod.

Aegir had to grin at the last part. "Goldenrod is Frigga's personal mount. No one but her rides him. You're lucky to be alive, for a normal mortal. But if your friends are investigating Garm's releases, then they must be off chasing all of the insignificant obvious avenues. Come with me, Andrew. We'll go straight to the Norns and ask them for some advice. They'll answer my questions."

Andrew huhed? "Why would they answer you? You're just an otter.... aren't you?"

Aegir grinned. "An Asgardian otter who is married to a mortal named Brandy. Let's get going." And they headed off toward the home of the Norns.

"That's a good thought, but no woman has ever come to study me as far as I know. Especially since I've been spending most of my time on Midgard with all of you. I believe it is time to speak to the Norns as Thrym suggested," Hel said. "They will be able to give us some clues."

"It would seem that way, Alex," Vinnie said, still deep in thought.

"Why don't we go ask the Norns what's up with the visiting woman. I'm sure they'll know something," Erina said.

Vicky awoke in a huge soft bed, covered with the softest furs she'd ever felt. She was relaxed, refreshed, and rested for the first time in months. Stretching languidly, she yawned as she sat up.

"Oh crud," she muttered, realizing that everyone must have went off to carry out their mission.

Vicky climbed out of the bed and froze. Where were her clothes!?

"Oh, Frigga? Are you around here somewhere?" Vicky called, wrapping one of the furs around herself as she headed for the door. "Hello?"

One of Frigga's handmaidens appeared in the doorway. "Lady Frigga is attending to her mount, Goldenrod. It seems that one of your friends tried to ride him and he returned sweaty and without the attempted rider. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Well, yea," Vicky said, looking around. "Where are my clothes?"

The handmaiden took Vicky to the back courtyard and pointed to a clothesline. "Handmaiden Ula washed your clothes. You've been asleep for hours. Hel said something about your being able to finally get a real sleep, so they let you sleep. They split up their forces. One group went to check on the chain, another group went to talk to Loki, and the other group headed off to speak to various lords. I think that's right... but someone tried to ride Goldenrod..."

Vicky sighed as she began gathering her clothes. "That was probably Andrew," she said. "He's the only normal one with us. At least I think he's normal. Would it be possible to get something to eat? I didn't eat much before and now I'm starving," Vicky said, dressing quickly.

The handmaiden escorted Vicky into the banquet hall and proceeded to bring her all the food Vicky could want. And it was a lot. "I hope you enjoy your meal. Only Volstag could eat this many times over, so I don't expect you to eat all of it."

Vikky sat down and began eating. She didn't realize just how hungry she was until the took a bite of the succulent meal. She ate as much as she could and then pushed away from the banquet table.

Rested and replete, she stood and stretched again. Time to do some investigating. Vicky smiled.

The handmaiden continued to escort Vicky through the estate. "Is there anything more I can do for you?"

"Well, actually, I think it would be good if I could have a way to get around. Since all the teleporty people are gone. Would it be possible to get a horse or something?" Vicky asked, thinking about where she could go and do some investigating.

The handmaiden asked, "Would you prefer a steed that can keep it's feet on the ground, or one of the valkyrie's flying mounts? We don't have any cars here in Asgard."

"Doesn't matter to me," Vicky replied, "as long as its fast."

The Norns stood watching the three groups converge upon their site.

Hel, who wasn't really surprised to see the other two groups, stopped them just outside of the Norns' dwelling.

"Hail, friends," he said. "I suppose I should have thought to come here first. But let me explain about the Norns.

The Norns are the demi-goddesses of destiny. They control the destinies of both gods and men, as well as the unchanging laws of the cosmos. They are represented as three sisters: Urd ("fate"), Verdandi ("necessity") and Skuld ("being"). They live at the base of the World Tree Yggdrasil in the realm of Asgard.

Nothing lasts forever, and even the mighty Yggdrasil is subject to decay. The Norns try to stop this process, or at least slow it down, by pouring mud and water from the Well of Fate over its branches. This magical liquid stops the rotting process for the time being.

Like the Fates of Greece, the Norns spun and wove the web of life. Belief in the Norns was of great importance in Germanic religion and life. It was said that no one, not even the gods, could escape their fate."

Article "Norns" created on 03 March 1997; last modified on 27 December 1998 (Revision 2). 126 words. http://www.pantheon.org/articles/n/norns.html © MCMXCV - MMVI Encyclopedia Mythica™. All rights reserved. http://www.answers.com/topic/norns (http://www.answers.com/topic/norns)

Frigga's Summer Estate

The handmaiden took Vicky to where the flight enabled steeds were kept and allowed Vicky to select one for herself.

The Norns

Aegir Otter grinned. "Hello Hel. Look what I pulled out of a bog a few hours ago. He tried to ride Goldenrod." Big grin!

Andrew blushed profusely!

Alex smiled. "Riding a god's mount isn't the smartest thing, Andrew, but it looks like you've gained your spurs."

Reena asked, "What is Goldenrod?"

Genie replied, "Goldenrod is Frigga's personal mount. He's a golden colored buck stag. No one is supposed to be able to ride him other than Frigga."

Lionel giggled. "So Andrew is officially an HM member now?"

Mikael replied with a smirk, "Sure looks that way. That must have been some ride." He chuckled.

Niflheim

Ivan hummed as he examined the chain. "This metal doesn't seem like the usual material that Tyr would have crafted. I think it's been replaced. In fact, I know Tyr would never make something such as this in such a shoddy manner."

Mark was talking to Trina and Kevin. "Ivan sure knows his stuff, but truthfully, I am starting to get bored. Perhaps we can take a sample fragment of the broken chain to Tyr and see if he knows who would have made such a piece of work. What do you guys think?"

Ivan said, "I think that might be a good idea. While you're all gone, I can install a complimentary Carrington Security System here on the Gates of Niflheim. I am sure Hela would love to know who all thinks they can sneak into Niflheim."

Kevin chuckled. "I think she's more interested in who's trying to sneak out."

Trina laughed. She picked up a piece of the chain and said, "Let's go pay Tyr a visit."

Hel eyed Andrew closely. "You're lucky he just dumped you into a bog," he said with a wink. "Now let us see if the Norns will help us with our delimma."

Vicky chose a blood bay stallion and took her time tacking him so that he'd get used to her. "All right now," she said to him calmly, "we are going to go to the local tavern and do some eavesdropping to see what kind of tidbits of information we can pick up. What do you think of that?" she asked as she mounted up.

Mikael stepped up to the Norns and said, "Greetings wise women of the threads of life. I will spare you the introductions, for you already know who we are and why we have come to you. We need to know either who is responsible for releasing Garm, or who the woman is that was studying the norse men recently, or even a string of information that would be relevant to our individual groups' reasons for coming to you." And Mikael then awaited a reply.

Tyr's Armory

Tyr was busy making ready the arms and armor for the upcoming ''Ragnarok''. When he saw Mark, Trina, and Kevin walk in, he actually smiled. "By my anvil and hammer, I have mortals in my workshop! For what hath brought you to my forge today?"

Trina tossed the chain to Tyr and said, "We know this isn't your work. Do you know who's work it might be?"

Verdandi smiled at Mikael, "Your need is not great enough."

Urd smiled and said, "You cannot stop what is meant to be."

Skuld simply nodded in agreement with her sisters.

Alex then stepped forward. "Suppose the need to know could help stop your Ragnarok. Or do you Norns want Ragnarok to happen? Maybe you keep freeing Garm. I mean, you are females and any one of you could be the one we're seeking."

Tyr examined the fragment and frowned. "I've seen this work before. An old apprentice I had once just couldn't seem to get the art down... the brother to the sorceress, Lorelei. A few months ago, Thor spurned Lorelei's affections and said he'd only consider being her man during Ragnarok. She then stormed off and we all thought she simply went away. But now that you've shown me this fragment... I believe that she went to her brother and had him make a chain that would look like the chains that I created for Garm. And because I don't personally deliver the chains I create, she could have exchanged the chain I made for the chain her brother made, and it was easy for Garm to break the chain afterwards."

Mark hummed. "So what did Lorelei do that would make Garm hunt down and pounce Alex? Surely she couldn't cast a spell on Garm without him knowing about it."

Tyr hummed. "Perhaps she enchanted the chain to have a delayed reaction spell that told Garm where to go. By the way, who is Alex?"

Mark grinned. "He's a teen aged unicorn friend of ours who can assume human form."

Tyr arched an eye. "A unicorn in Asgard? It couldn't be..."

In unison the Norns stated, "It is not up to us to decide what is to be and what isn't. No one can escape the end of all things. As for us bringing about Ragnarok, it wouldn't be possible. We do not leave the Tree."

"If that's the case," Hel said, "then why do you attempt to stop the decaying of the Tree?"

The Norns scowled at Hel. "Go to Tyr. We will tell you nothing more."

"So if we go slap this Lorelei chick around we can get her to lay off?" Trina asked.

Genie growled, then turned to Hel. "I see now why you said these hoes probably wouldn't help us. Their on constant PMS. Haven't they ever heard of tampons? Let's get out of here before I get Reena to burn these rag granny's precious threads."

Isn't she nice? I guess when you're dead, you can get away with saying anything.

Andrew turned to Aegir, "What would you like to do now?"

Aegir grinned. "I believe you wanted to see some Asgardian kennels. I can be your escort so they don't rip you apart, or decide that you look like an omega. That is, unless Hel would rather we go get annoying at a local tavern..."

Mark asked Trina, "How are we going to find her if she's parading around as a man?"

Trina grinned. "Easy... You'll just parade around disquised as Thor for awhile pronouncing that you've changed your mind and that you wish you could find her to tell her that you've had a change of heart. And when she show's up, I'll thrash her."

"You are misplaced, my dear," Skuld said to Genie. "You aren't meant to be in the state you are in. Someone made a mistake."

The Norns then conversed privately for a moment. At last they looked up and said, "Seek you answers in the tavern. Reunite with your allies."

Vicky stalked into the tavern as if she belonged there. She figured that was the easiest way to not draw attention to herself. Looking around descreetly as she approached the bar, she could identify a few heros and gods that were milling around. Stepping up to the bar she motioned for an ale, then turned to survey the crowd again, listening for anything that a god might think was ordinary gossip.

History was about to repeat itself in the tavern.... Asgardian style... ;)

While Vicky was listening to several good gossipy tales, a burly viking barbarian came up beside Vicky and ordered an ale. When he got his ale, he sipped it once, then turned to Vicky and asked...

"Hey Babe, wanna do it with a hero?"

In Niflheim, Ivan had finished setting up the security system and was instructing Hela on it's usage, how to aim the mini cameras, how to monitor all manner of locations all over Niflheim and beyond, if necessary, and an instructional on the use of laser eye beams that no one would know about exact Hela. It was a massive security upgrade and all for free. As Ivan called it... a complimentary security installation.

Alex said, "In other words, what you Norns are telling us is that it's time for our teammates to get together and compare notes. I suppose that makes sense... except... you said go to the tavern. Maybe you've been here weaving your threads a little too long because there are several hundred alehouses all over Asgard's realms. How will we know which one to go to?"

Mikael giggled. "Well, I assume we look for the one where the biggest fight is going on. I mean, Trina, Mark and Kevin did head off to talk to Tyr, and they'll probably go to an Alehouse to try to find information, and any god worth their salt will know how hot of a body Trina has. Do you honestly think an Asgardian warrior is going to be able to keep their hands off of a near naked woman wearing a jaguar skin two piece bikini?"

Genie growled, "Grim Reaper made the mistake! Do you want me to send him to you ladies so he can make a mistake on you??? I don't want to talk about it anymore." Then she looked around. "Hey! Where did Aegir and Andrew disappear to? That otter sure is fast...I didn't even see him leave."

Aegir simply teleported himself and Andrew off to the kennels and stables of the Asgardian god of hunting, Lord Uller. Aegir was saying, "...and here you'll find some of the best well-trained talking Ysgardian Hunting Hounds in all of Asgard. Though this is their off season, mind you...all they mainly do during these few months are sleep, mate, eat, mate, play, mate, and... oh yes, mate with anything with a hole. Uller feeds all of them twice a day...once in the morning, and once in the evening. The rest of Uller's morning is spent with his talking hunting stallions, feeding and grooming, of course. Once a month, he spends an entire day with a few helpers bathing every hound he has, including any prisoners that the hounds have captured (and are playing with still) after one of their hunts. These hounds often get distracted during a hunt, and might even cross over to Midgard to go pounce a male youth who might be walking in familiar woods... then drag the boy back home to their kennels, so they can collar him, and beg the alpha to let them keep their boy."

Andrew irked. "Are you serious? Or are you trying to scare me?" Andrew was looking over the wooden fences into the hound pens as Aegir was explaining the whole thing.

Aegir shrugged with a grin. "I have no reason to lie. You can always ask a hound, or a horse, or Uller himself, if you don't believe me."

Tyr then said to Trina, Mark, and Kevin... "Lorelei's brother is called Faendell. He often frequents the alehouse of Gossamer, which is on the border between the Greek elven pantheon of Arvandor, and the Asgardian realm of Lord Frey, lord of Autumn and Golden Elves. Be warned... Arvandor is not in the Asgardian jurisdiction, so if you get in any trouble there, no Asgardian can rescue you. Only the Greek gods and goddess have any jurisdiction there. Lord Corellon Larethian is the local god of the elves in that region, though..." Tyr smirked at this point. "...he can appear male or female, at will."

Mark hummed. "We need to talk to Faendell. So that means a trip to the Gossamer Alehouse. Do you guys want to head there now, or get back together with the others at Frigga's Summer Estate and compare notes?"

Vicky turned and looked the Asgardian up and down with one white-blonde brow raised in amusement. "You have got to be kidding me," she muttered. "Well, when I see a hero I'll let you know," she told him shortly.

"I think we should just head on to the alehouse," Trina said. "Besides, we will probably run into the rest of the guys on our way there."

The barbarian stared at Vicky. "Wanna come back to my place and see my etchings?"

Mark nodded his head. "Let's see if we can find a quiet alehouse that serves meals."

While Aegir had gone off to check on his wife, Andrew wandered around the kennels, looking at all of the various talking hunting hounds. Andrew knew that Aegir told him that these hounds sometimes captured human boys, but Andrew certainly didn't see any human boys in any of the kennel pens. But the abundance of studly Asgardian hunting hounds were everywhere.

"I wonder what it would be like to take a few hounds out for a hunting mini-trip?" Andrew wondered aloud...

"By Hel's flap, will you take a hike already? I don't have time for you," Vicky snarled.

"What are you interested in hunting, boy?" a large, buffed hound asked from inside his kennel.

The barbarian mouthed over at the Warriors Three, 'Watch me pick this little lady up!'

And then, he gave Vicky's rear end a hefty grope, as he said, "I got the biggest balls in the house!"

Andrew turned to look at the hound. "Oh, I don't know... squirrels, rabbits, maybe a fox... something like that. My last little experience with a buck deer proved dangerous... are you one of the best hunters of the kennel?"

Alex suddenly got pale as he turned to Hel and said, "I have this incredibly bad premonition that some Asgardian is about to get their ass handed to them. I don't know how I know, but it's a very weird feeling."

Vicky's eyes flashed bright white as white hot fire shot from then and hit the Asgardian in the face. "You miserable worthless cretin!" Vicky screamed, her entire body burning brightly. "How dare you lay your disgusting hands on me!"

The hound chuckled. "Is that all? That's not even worth gettin up for," he said, yawning. "We hounds are very competitive. It's hard to say, with any honesty, who is the best hound in the kennel."

"That can't be good," Hel said. "I think we better get a move on."

Andrew asked, "So what would you call a good hunting trip? What's the best thing to hunt?"

And the mighty alehouse brawl was on! The Asgardians had been on edge awaiting Ragnarok, so this was a welcome change of venue!

Trina, Mark and Kevin were approaching a tavern when they saw the flash of light and heard the horrendous noise of a brawl commencing.

Mark said, "We may not want to go in there, guys. What do you think?"

"Well, stags are preferred. But any large game is good for us. Any animal that will put up a good fight is also a bonus," the hound licked his lips.

"I agree," Trina said. "Look, there's Hel and the others."

About that moment, Aegir returned from where ever he'd been. He grinned as he'd overheard what the hound said. "Big stag, wild boar, anything that would put up a huge fight, Andrew. And because you aren't likely to ever know where such is, you better just leave that hunting hound alone. Unlike Garm, I am sure he isn't going to rally his buddies and show up on Earth at your house later on."

Andrew blushed. "I was just curious what a hunt was like with them. I wasn't asking if they'd go on one."

Aegir grinned anyway. "Like I said, you better just let the hound get back to licking his balls and let me take you to the next kennel/pack. Different hounds act in different ways. And this one looks like a ball licker."

And Aegir grabbed Andrew's arm and teleported them both away from Uller's estate... appearing on Magni's estate, which was located near Greek Arvandor's border.

Andrew said, "Why'd you insult that hound for, Aegir?"

Aegir grinned. "I'm the Asgardian god of storms and the sea. I was teasing the hound because I know I can. Uller will get me back later. Now this lovely modern Earth like property belongs to one of the son's of Thor, Magni. And that's his kennel over there, if you want to call it that. Magni doesn't have big game hounds, like Uller did... Magni keeps Elven Foxes, Scottish Wolfhounds, and Irish Collies. Three separate packs, as it were, but each glad to have a roof over their heads. Why don't you head on over and I'll go see if Magni has any cola or kool-aid."

And Andrew headed over to the canine barn, while Aegir headed toward Magni's house.

Mark waved at the approaching Hel and the others. "Hey guys! We just came from Tyr's forge. Ivan is still at the gates of Niflheim doing his thing."

Alex said, "We just came from the PMS triplets... aka the Norns. They were about as helpful as a drop of water on the Sun. Though they did tell us to get back together with you guys to compare notes."

"I'm telling you, Magni, your father has the worst habit of opening his mouth and swallowing his foot," the female lamented. "I don't care what Odin says, I still think it is Thor's fault in some way," was what Aegir heard on his way to Magni's house.

"Well, I think we'd better rouse Vicky and fill her in on what we've found out, even if it isn't much," Erina said, eyeing the tavern brawl.

Aegir walked right by the two, saying, "Pardon me... otter... coming through..." He walked off into the kitchen.

Magni paid no mind to Aegir, as he replied to the female, "How can Garm getting loose be my father's fault, Andromeda? I may be a son of Thor, but you don't see me gearing up for war and living within the grasp of his smelly goats, do you?"

Aegir then said from the kitchen, "Is there any Mountain Dew in the fridge?"

(OOC: Inside joke!)

Andrew entered the barn dedicated to Magni's canine friends. "Whoa... giant foxes... wolfhounds... and collies... just as Aegir said. They smell better than Uller's pack."

Mikael hummed. "Let me magically look in on Vicky." He pulled out his crystal ball and activated it. "Show me Vicky." And what appeared in the crystal ball was...

"It's next to the milk!" Andromeda answered. "I'm just saying that when something gets screwed up it is usually his fault. And I know that you're not gearing up for war. It's not your way."

Mikael sees: a massive bar room brawl with a hot female right in the middle.

Mikael shouted, "VICKY'S IN THE TAVERN BRAWL!!!"

Alex face-hoofed himself! "I knew it!"

Mark slyly grinned. "She must've gone investigating on her own after we left."

Magni said, "What do you want me to do about all this on-the-Ragnarok crap? Summon Switcher Woman? Or maybe the Witch?"

Aegir giggled as he listened to the two discuss the upcoming events.

Andrew saw a big brush and picked it up, then walked over to one of the giant foxes and began brushing it's coat... while he casually listened in on the general talk in the barn between the canines...

One Irish Collie was saying, "...and Magni mentioned throwing all of Asgard into another dimension if they didn't cool their jets."

"Oh that's just wonderful," Kevin said.

Hel shook his head and said, "That is probably the last place we want to be, what with everyone having been on edge for the past few weeks. But, of course, we have to get Vicky."

"I don't know. I'd just as soon go back and lay out on the river. Ned is always hospitable when we drop in," she answered.

"Can't blame the chap for wanting to be free now can we?" a particullaly lush female fox replied.

Lionel hummed. "Who's going to go in and get her? Or is someone going to summon her out of there?"

Magni grinned. "You do know that Hel's human friends are wandering around up here in Asgard, don't you? Word is that Hela herself insisted that they come up here and solve the mystery on Garm's chain."

At that moment, Aegir joined the two holding two Mountain Dews. "One of the humans is with me. The others were heading over toward the main alehouse to compare notes. The boy I'm toting around wanted to see some Asgardian kennels. I showed him Uller's pack first, then we came here." He then grinned. "Andrew rode Goldenrod!" He giggled. He loved telling people about Andrew's ride.

A wolfhound grinned at Andrew. "Brush me next, kid. I could use it." Then he commented to the others. "You all realize that this estate of Magni's isn't really IN Asgard, don't you? It's in a between realm... Vanapus, though the elven gods control much of this realm. Where else would Magni get talking animals, other than the Happy Hunting Grounds?" ;)

"I think it would be safer to summon her out here," Hel said. "I'll do it since I'm from this realm. We dont' want to accidentally summon someone we don't want out of that mess."

*POOF*

Vicky appeared in front of them, in the most brilliant white blaze that any of them had ever seen.

"What the..." she said, looking around. When she spotted the others she was instantly relieved. "Some jack ass hit on me and the next thing I knew the place erupted," Vicky explained, as her blazing aura slowly faded to a more tolerable level.

Andromeda laughed. "Well, then, maybe they'll get to the bottom of the problem. Has anyone suggested they go talk to Thor?"

Alex smiled at Vicky. "How was your nap? You were sound asleep when we all split up to investigate different things."

About that moment, Ivan was teleported in with Freke and Gere. "Thanks for the lift, guys. Hey Hel! Your sister was super happy when I left. I think she likes the new security system I installed for her."

Magni grinned. "Probably not. If Hel's escorting them around, then they've probably been too distracted. Where's the kid, Aegir?"

Aegir sipped on his Mountain Dew. "He's out in your barn. He wanted to see the canines."

Magni chuckled. "Safest place in the outer planes for him, I'd say. My hounds won't rape him...unlike that in-the-gutter pack that roams the lower forty of Corellon's forest. I've never seen such a randy pack of canines in all my life. They tried to hump Athena's leg one time. I've never seen a goddess get so angry." He was laughing!!!

Andrew brushed several canines, then headed out back of the barn to get some fresh air. It was there that he saw the moon dogs pawing a ball back and forth around a meadow nearby. "Moon Dogs! But... that meadow is probably across the border and I have to show some responsibility to Aegir by not wandering off."

"Yea, I really needed the sleep. Waking up nude I could have lived without, but it turned out ok," Vicky informed them. "Then they allowed me to catch a lift with one of their flying horses and that's how I ended up here. I thought I might hear some informative gossip, but instead I ended up getting hit on by some full of himself viking."

Hel chuckled. "Well at least they are blowing off some steam. Maybe now they won't fly off and set off Ragnarok before we can diffuse the situation."

At this point, the gang compared notes on everything they had found out, so far, in their individual investigations.

Then, Reena said, "Apparently, Lorelei's brother made the faulty chains that we found on the scene. He hangs out in a tavern in Arvandor, which is across the divine border in Greek mythos territory."

Mark added, "Lorelei has been studying guys then changing her appearance to look like these guys."

Lionel said, "Tyr would make the chains, then the real delivery person would pick up the chains for delivery. Somewhere along the way, he'd be waylayed by Lorelei, who would exchange the good chains for the crappy ones."

Alex nodded his head. "Lorelei would then change her appearance to look and smell like one of the more important gods and complete the delivery, which is why neither Hela or Garm could tell at a distance nor up close that anything was amiss."

Ivan hummed. "And from what you tell us, Lorelei is doing this because Thor jilted her. It has nothing to do with the end of the world at all. It has to do with a woman scorned."

Mikael exclaimed, "So now, we need to either find Lorelei, which will be like looking for a needle in a haystack, or her brother, which means crossing into Arvandor where he hangs out. If we can get to Lorelei and expose her, we can prove to Odin and the rest that Lorelei caused all of this. If we can get to her brother and get him to admit to making the crappy chain to Odin and the rest... they might see that they'd been had by Lorelei and they could track her down themselves. We know Lorelei is in Asgard somewhere in the guise of a man. We know that her brother is in Arvandor at the elven tavern."

Genie hummed. "Why can't we just tell Odin what we found out and just leave? Haven't we figured out this whole mystery or haven't we?"

Mark tsked, tsked, tsked. "Genie... club motto says, Hazardous Materials must always catch the instigator before concluding a case. Just because we know who did it, doesn't mean we have solved the case. Lorelei can always deny that she was involved. And it'd be a mortal's word against an immortal's word. And in Asgard, I think we'd have to somehow prove what we found out, or simply get her to admit to her crimes."

One of the moon dogs suddenly teleported from the pack to Andrew's location and stood up to face him. "We heard you admiring us, human." he said in a soft, though assured voice. "Take this gift from our pack and you may see us again someday." And with that, the moon dog placed a necklace of moonsilver chain link with a slightly glowing small flute around Andrew's neck. "Simply play each of the five notes slowly, one at a time, and we'll come to you no matter where you are. Otherwise, you can learn to play the flute over time and become a great piper. Good day to you, human." And before Andrew could reply, the moon dog teleported back to his pack in the Arvandorian meadow.

Andrew huhed. "Okay... I wasn't expecting that. But looks like I earned a present. I hope I can repay them for such a gift. Now I have to learn how to play this thing. Maybe I better get back to Aegir. I've seen enough hounds for one day..." And he returned to Magni's house, just as Aegir was coming outside.

"Oh good!" Aegir exclaimed. "Here's your soda, Andrew. We really should be getting back to either Hel and the others, or to Frigga's estate where Hel and the others can easily find us. I believe that Hel and the others are getting ready to go find Lorelei or her brother... but we are actually closer to her brother's location... so we could do them a favor and go get Lorelei's brother ourselves." He winked.

Andrew hummed. "If you think it'd be okay for us, we can try to get this brother guy and bring him back to Hel and the others."

Aegir grinned. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's head on over to the Elven Tavern! And remember... don't drink any of the Elven fluids. We don't want you getting enspelled by elven magic, do we? If that happened, you'd be in trouble because I can't undo it... We'd have to get a Greek god to undo it." He paused. "Where did you get a moon dog flute?" Aegir just noticed it.

Andrew explained that he was given the flute as a gift.

Aegir grinned wider. "Oh! That's keen! They must like you! Anyway, let's get over to the Elven Tavern!"

And off they went, walking this time. Teleporting between Asgard and Arvandor was not allowed without direct divine permission... but one could walk over the border easily without bothering any gods.

"So let's beat her at her own game," Victoria suggested with a sly grin. "We can have one of our resident magic people disguise themself as Thor and announce that he is looking for Lorelei to apologize for his hasty words before Ragnarok is fully upon the realm. We can have some kind of enchantment worked out that will broadcast every word she says to the whole of Asgard. Of course we should also figure out a way to trick her brother into being at the same place at the same time. That way we'll have both birds in one location."

"That sounds like a good plan," Trina said. "But how are we supposed to do that?"

"Well, I suggest that Vinnie be disguised as Thor, simply because I believe he can pull it off the best. The rest of us can go to Arvandor and trick her brother into being in the designated location by saying that Lorelei was wanting to arrange a meeting with Thor there for some reason and needed her brother's assistance again," Vicky said.

"Goodness," Erina said, "when you get rested up you sure can think alot of things through."

Vicky just grinned. "So what do you guys think?"

"It sounds like a splendid idea to me," Vinnie said. "Does anyone else have anything to add?"

Alex hummed. "I'd say that sounds like a splendid idea. I'm just worried about entering Arvandor. That's in divine Greek territory. I'd feel a little safer if we had one of the Greek bigwigs on our side..."

Ivan snapped his fingers. "If it's a Greek divinity of justice you need, then we need to talk to Athena. I am sure she'd support Hazardous Materials being in Arvandor once she heard what was going down."

Mikael smiled. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go see Athena!"

"Of course," Hel said, and instantly they found themselves standing before the great doors of Athena's Hall in the Greek Realm. "I could have just appeared inside, but that would have been rude and she might not have helped us," he explained with a grin. "I'll just wait out here with Garm whilst you all go in to speak to her."

"Chicken," Vicky said, walking through the doors. She didn't know about the others, but she was ready to get back to the land of mortals and motor cars.

Within the great hall of Athena, silver and white owls were perched here and there, all watching various angles within the great building itself.

And Athena stood in a circular area, holding an open book, from which she seemed to be researching something. "Ah, what brings Hazardous Materials to my home this day?" she inquired without even glancing up from the book.

Lionel about asked how she knew who they were, but he zipped his muzzle just in time.

"Please forgive us for this trespass, Athena," Vicky began, "but we were hoping that you could assist us in solving the Ragnarok episode in Asgard."

Athena glanced up at the group. "Are they about that again? Don't answer that... When are they ever NOT about that, is a better question. I suppose that would explain why Aegir and some boy with a flute are in Arvandor right now. At least they had the decency to walk in, unlike some teleporting gods, his friends, and his dog."

Alex said, "Aegir and Andrew are in Arvandor? Why is it that the otter always seems to be a step ahead of us?"

Athena then said, "As long as you don't desecrate any shrines or temples in Olympus and Arvandor, I'll back your purpose for being here. But be on your best guard... as you know, some GODS are PETTY!"

About that moment from somewhere outside the building, Ares loud voice is heard saying, "I AM NOT PETTY! DO I LOOK LIKE MY FIRST NAME IS RICHARD?!"

Athena grinned. "See what I mean?"

"Thank you, Athena," Vicky said and then filled her in on their plan. "Do you have any advice that might aid us in our mission?"

Athena smiled. "I think it's an excellent plan, Victoria Lane. It should work because Lorelei would never suspect someone of pulling her own trick against her. Of course, she'll be furious when she learns that she fell for a trick that she thought of." She then paused and said, "After all this is over, you might want to track down Laundry Man in New York City and give him a piece of your mind."

Alex turned to Mikael and whispered, "Who is Laundry Man?"

Mikael quietly replied to Alex, "It must be Vicky's dad... but I've never heard anyone refer to him as Laundry Man before."

Vicky looked puzzled for a moment and then smiled. "I'll just do that. Come on guys, lets put our plan in action. Thank you, Athena! You are the wisest of the Gods of any realm. Especially the petty eavesdropping ones," she added with a wink.

The guys went back outside where Hel and Garm awaited them, and explained how they got permission and backing from Athena and how Aegir and Andrew were already in Arvandor.

Aegir and Andrew were sitting in the Arvandorian Elven Tavern having a couple of light lemonade drinks with Lorelei's brother.

Andrew said, "So you see... What your sister is doing is just wrong. And she's using you to force Thor's jilting words to come true... to only love her during Ragnarok. But by then, Thor would be too busy fighting in the final battle and wouldn't have time for your sister. Everyone would lose then."

Aegir said, "So you need to come clean and help us stop your sister from destroying Midgard for no good reason. Don't make us get Vicky in here..."

Faendell hummed. "If what you say is true... then she has used me. She told me that no one would get hurt. And I believed her. I'll come back to Asgard and help you put a stop to her plan. Her favorite form to disguise herself as is Balder of the Light, because no one would suspect Balder of anything." He then noticed the flute that Andrew had. "Where did you get that flute?"

Andrew replied, "A really nice moon dog gave it to me."

Faendell hummed again. "Just be very careful when you play it. Moon dogs aren't the only things you can accidentally summon with it. Come, we need to go back to Asgard and meet up with your friends at Frigga's estate."

As luck would have it they somehow managed to arrive back at Frigga's estate simultaneously.

"Hey, you guys!" Vicky greeted. "Did you have a grand adventure? We have a plan to execute. Who's that?"

Andrew said, "Vicky, this is Faendell, Lorelei's younger brother. The guy who made the chains. He's an Arvandorian Elfman. He told us that Lorelei likes to disguise herself as Balder."

Faendell somberly said to Hel, "I am sorry I let my sister talk me into helping her. She said no one would get hurt."

Hel sighed knowingly. "I understand more than you may think. We always want to believe the best of our siblings."

"Well all right! Let's execute this plan," Vicky said, looking around. "Looks like Vinnie has already set off to do his part. Let's get the trap set for her shall we?"

Frigga said, "I had Helga kidnap the true Thor so your plan would work more easily. It would suck if there were two Thors." She winked.

Reena said, "Okay, let's get this party started. I wanna see an Asgardian get unmasked, Hazardous Material style!"

Genie said, "I just want to get back to Earth. The Heavens are starting to bore me."

Aegir grinned. "It's not so bad, Genie. But I prefer Londontown Docks over the Asgardian Sea." He also winked knowingly.

Mark was talking to Andrew. "I can't let you out of my sight for a minute and you befriend most of the creatures in Asgard and Arvandor. I'm sorta jealous."

"Thor" was speaking to "Balder" in a less violent tavern.

"I never realized that Ragnarok was coming so soon. Perhaps I should seek out fair Lorelei and offer my apologies. I only hope that I can find her soon before the final battle. Ah well. Farewell, my brother. I am off to the Golden Grotto to bid farewell to all that was."

With that he turned away and left the tavern.

"The enchantment is in place right?" Vicky asked again, as they watched "Thor" approach.

Faendell nodded his head, as he was now working with Hel and the other magic users in the group.

And not long after "Thor" arrived, Lorelei appeared as herself for a change, walking to catch up with "Thor".

"Thor, my darling! There you are! I've been looking all over Asgard for you!"

Alex was impressed with Vinnie's acting skills in this trap.

"Lorelei?" he said, looking around as if he couldn't see her. "Where are you? Does my ears betray my eyes?"

"Thor" looked around again and then continued until he had stepped within the circle of the enchantment.

Lorelei quickly followed "Thor" into the enchantment trap and said, "Thor darling. I am right behind you, my love."

At that moment, Faendell set off the enchantment field and made himself seen. "If you were right behind Thor, dear sister, then Helga would likely be giving you the beating that you deserve."

Lorelei turned sharply when she heard her brother's voice. "What are you doing here?" And she took a step toward Faendell and got nearly electrocuted against the wall of the enchantment, knocking her back on the ground on her butt!

That's when the rest of the Hazardous Materials team made themselves seen. And they weren't alone, either. The all-father, Odin stood behind them. As did most of the Asgardian soldiers of the realm.

Odin said, "Thank you for inviting me here to see your plan be executed and your trap succeed in catching this culprit who tried to bring the end of the world upon us all. But... I believe it is customary for your team to explain how and why all of this came about. And I am sure that my warriors will be interested in knowing the truth for what it is. Who would like to go first?"

Alex grinned. "This was Vicky's master trap, so she can start us off. Vicky?"

"Well, it all started with Thor, in a way. Lorelei had thrown herself at him and he rebuked her by saying that he'd only have her during Ragnarok. So, and pardon the Midgardian expression, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.' So she decided to bring about Ragnarok so that she would have Thor. She started by recruiting her brother," Vicky indicated Faendell. "And as Hel pointed out, we do tend to want to believe the best of our siblings so, of course, he helped her by fashioning the sub-standard chains to hold Garm. Once he had been set on his task, she went around studying the warriors of Asgard. There were two purposes for this. The first was to find out which warrior she could successfully impersonate, and the second was to learn how to walk, talk, and act like a true Asgardian warrior." Vicky took a breath. "The only part I don't understand is why Garm kept going to Alex."

Alex hummed. "Oh yeah, we never did figure that part out. Garm, once loose, would always show up on Earth where ever I happened to be. Regardless of what I was doing. I guess better with me than in a subway car full of strange people, you know... or in an elevator car. I don't even want to imagine that one. Going... up! Woman screams and Man messes self. Odin... I don't mind Garm showing up for a visit now and then, but not if it's going to make all of Asgard jump to conclusions and try to bring about Ragnarok. Let's not go there, okay. I'd hate to see you get your butt handed to you by a young boy in a South American field who is minding his own business."

HINT-HINT

Ivan said, "I forgot all about that boy! Oh believe me, Odin... you don't want to challenge that kid. He'd throw you off of Midgard into outer space. I think World Emperor is STILL in the hammock next to the field, RETIRED!"

Odin grinned. "Sounds like a challenge... but I am not stoooo-pid." He turned to his warriors, "There will be no Ragnarok, my friends. Return to your families." He then turned back to the teenagers. "You have prevented a horrible war, my friends. You may each have whatever you want as your reward for assisting us here in Asgard. Just name it."

Most of the group was immediately thinking long and hard about what they wanted most... ;)

"I think it best that I return them all home and they can reserve the right to make the request of you whenever they are well rested," Hel said. "No sense in rushing into any hasty requests."

Odin chuckled, and let Hel and Garm do their things with the Team...

An hour later, back on Midgard aka Mikael's swinging pad on Earth in San Francisco, California...

There was a success party going on. Hel, Garm, Faendell, Aegir and special guest Brandy were there, too. Though apparently, after the party ended, they knew it'd probably be a long, long time before they got to see poor lonely Garm again...

But for now, the team celebrated their successful completion of The Mystery of Garm's Chain.

**End of HM-03 The Mystery of Garm's Chain

Stay tuned next time for HM-04 Uni-versity Fright Night**