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           The sting of a thread being pulled through my flesh forced my mind

awake. I heard Kato and Misha's voices above me. The familiar haze of

exhaustion sent waves of first confusion, then regret through my mind.

  If I had thought things

through, I might have been able to enjoy my trip to Eldon. Instead, I foresaw

myself staying cooped up in this room while I recovered, and then riding passed

out on the back of a horse the entire ride home. My subconscious had known

Sheila was planning an attack, and I followed her into her trap with reckless

anticipation. Perhaps Misha would have been safer, too.  I regret my actions. How many of my days here

ended with me collapsing from pure exhaustion?

   The tense pain of my flesh being stitched back

together took my mind off of my self-pity. I groaned and my body jerked

involuntarily.

  I became conscious

enough to see Misha's face above me as he carefully studied my injury. He was

the one sewing my side shut. How much time had passed? My eyes wandered to his

shoulder, where he had a large bandage wrapped around it.

  "I can heal him that way."

I heard Kato's distant voice say.

  "No." Misha said as his

face squinted into a frustrated expression.

  "This is an emergency."

Kato's voice was solid, authoritative.

  Misha finished stitching

me up and snipped the thread. I was too exhausted to join the conversation, and

neither of them acknowledged that I had become conscious, so I remained quiet

except for the occasional wheezy whimper.

  Misha sighed and turned

away from me. I couldn't see Kato, but I assumed Misha was facing him. "You

know I can't allow it."

  I heard something slam

against a table that was likely Kato's fist. "What the fuck do you think I'm

going to do, Misha?" He yelled. "Decipher nearly died because of you, and

you're just going to let him sit here and rot?"

  "I can fix him up back

at the lab."

  "It will take days to

get him back. He doesn't have that much time and you know it. Besides, he can't

even sit upright like this. He wouldn't be able to ride!"

  "Can't you heal him

without-"

  "Maybe if Sheila hadn't

poisoned me before I left!" Kato shouted. So

that's what Sheila's plan had been...

  "What do you want me to

do?" Misha snapped.

  "Make me an antidote,

Misha." Kato said. His dark voice sent a shiver through me. "I know you can.

Learn to disobey some orders you goddamn machine."

  It seemed I was going to

die if Misha didn't allow Kato to help me. I assumed he needed to turn into a

phoenix to be able to heal me. Phoenixes

are known for their healing properties...and Misha wouldn't allow him to

transform? Antidote? That's right,

they drugged him...he can't transform...Misha must have been ordered to keep him

drugged...  I couldn't see

either of them anymore. My eyes had closed and I felt groggy. I didn't even

hear what was said next, despite my struggle to stay awake. I heard some more

crashing noises and shouting as they argued. I swallowed hard and decided to

wait it out.

  I suppose I had no

choice in the matter of whether or not I died, and I wasn't able to join the

argument anyways. By the end of this I would see how much Misha cared, at least.

It would mean a lot for him to disobey an order. I always had the feeling that

he took his duties very seriously, and that was why he had lied to me in the

beginning. "Orders" were usually his excuse for lying to me, and his actions

led me to believe him.

  My thoughts became hazy

again and the noises dulled to a distant pounding noise. I could hear muffled

voices, but I was mostly unconscious.

There was a hand on my shoulder that shook my gently. "Decipher, can you

hear us?" Kato's voice echoed. "I'm going to heal you, but it will definitely

be a strange experience. Do your best to stay still and calm."

  My ears twitched at the

sounds and I nodded weakly. So Misha gave

Kato the antidote after all.

  My eyelids cracked open,

and a bright orange glow struck my eyes. I struggled to open them further, but

I was determined to watch this happen. I saw Kato's figure completely engulfed

in warm light. The light danced around him as his figure changed. He hunched

forward and let out a pained rumble.

  His now-white silhouette

shot out with brilliant streaking feathers that were so large they filled the

entire room. The light swirled around him and began to fade, allowing me to

open my eyes further and examine him in more detail.

  He was massive. His

feathers bent against the walls of the room, and they looked as if they were

made of smoldering embers. His head was crowned with beautiful orange feathers

that stuck out like two horns, and then spiked down his neck, making his face

look more reptilian than bird. The fierce bird brought it's jagged, golden beak

down to me and looked at me with his stunning, flaming eyes.

   The look in his eyes sent a powerful warmth

through my entire body, as if my soul were being embraced. This felt right. I

felt like I was finally seeing Kato as he should be, warm, glowing, powerful...He

let out a sad cry from his beak and began to chirp. The sound made me feel

energized, but I still could not move.

  He struggled

uncomfortably in the small room and let out a frustrated screeching noise. At

this point, I noticed Misha cowering in the corner of the room as he tried to

avoid Kato's blazing feathers. I hadn't even realized he was in the room, but

he looked terrified. I wondered if Kato would heal him as well.

  Kato brought his beak

down towards my injury, and an intense burning sensation entered my wound. I

yelled as his beak tore through the stitches Misha had put in me earlier. I

struggled, but he brought his huge talon up to my chest and held me still. His

talon was large enough to wrap across my entire chest and hold me in place. He held

me gently, but I was still suddenly afraid of his giant, ember-encased claws.

  Once the stitches were

torn out of my side, a cold breeze swept over my body and calmed me. I watched

Kato let out a breath of glowing, orange air that entered my wound. The glowing

mist was pleasantly warm, and spread through my entire body. All my muscles

relaxed as I felt my body repair itself. Kato removed his talon from my chest,

and the warmth consumed me.

  I think that had been the

first time I had passed out due to feeling completely relaxed. It was unlike

every other time, where I had struggled to stay awake...This feeling gently

carried me into the most peaceful rest I could have had.

  I felt completely

energized with only minor aches when I became conscious. When I opened my eyes,

Kato was sitting beside me in his human form once more. It was bittersweet to

see him in here. I wondered if Misha had drugged him again.  

  "Decipher!" Kato

exclaimed, patting my shoulder, "I'm so glad that worked."

  "You should have run." I

mumbled as I tried to sit up.

  He sat in stunned

silence. His face became sad.

  "You shouldn't be forced

into this human body!" I said with a few coughs, "I'll never get the image of

that phoenix out of my mind...the image of the creature you really are. Now I see

your sorrow."

  "I can't just leave."

Kato sighed as he leaned forward in his chair.

  "Why?"

  "I have no where I'd

go..." Kato looked uncomfortable now. "I've been away from my kind so long...I

doubt I'd be able to go back to a phoenix lifestyle. It would be hard to fit in

somewhere. Besides...they'd look for me."

  I smirked, "If I can

find a way to fit in here, I'm sure you can."

   Kato sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"I know, I know. I just..." He trailed off and stared into empty space. I turned

and looked around for Misha, but did not see him in the room.

  I sat up completely and

rested against the back of the bed. I looked down to examine my injury while I

waited for Kato to speak. The wound looked like a month old scar, and was

completely closed up. My fur on the other hand was covered in a crusty layer of

dried blood. I still needed to wash up.

  I glanced back at Kato

to see he was still lost in his thoughts with a blank stare. "You just what?" I

asked him, which made him jump.

  "I don't want to leave

you there alone." He said, his eyebrows knit together in frustration. "You're a

good friend. If I ran, I'd want to take you with me."

  I wasn't sure what to

say. Kato's friendship had been the best thing about this place, but I still

wasn't sure I wanted to leave the laboratory yet. Besides that, there had to be

something else keeping Kato at the lab; he had been there a long time. He

didn't seem to be in a rush to leave, either. But why would he take me? I had to wonder. Surely he had other

friends. I had to wonder how much Kato cared about me...

   "Would you come with me?" He asked,

sending my mind into a stunned silence.

  "I..." I began as I

avoided his probing eyes, "I don't know."

  "You see?" His face had

a light smile, "Neither of us are ready for change yet. Maybe someday we'll get

out of there." He said, moving his golden gaze to the window.

  I nodded, "Yeah,

Kato...Maybe someday." I sighed. "Where are Misha and Caliber? Is Misha okay?"

  Kato sat back in his

chair and exhaled slowly, "Misha's fine, I healed up most of his wound. Caliber

and Misha are getting food right now, which we should also do." Kato glanced at

me, "When was the last time you ate, anyways? You better get washed up before

we go out."

   "Too long ago." I said as my

stomach twitched with hunger. I carefully attempted to stand up. I was still

amazed that Kato had healed my wound so well. "Hey...thank you, Kato."

  "My pleasure." Kato said

with a smile as he offered me a hand. I took his warm hand and he helped me

take a few steps. "Come on, let's at least clean the blood off of you before we

get some lunch."

  Kato's touch was so

warm, and I could feel his concern for me in his grip. He helped me gain my

balance before letting go. I couldn't tell if I was imagining it, but I felt

like he was reluctant to let go. I then realized I wasn't wearing any pants,

and noticed my tip had begun to poke out of my sheath. I swished my tail in

front of my groin to hide it, and luckily Kato didn't seem to notice.

  Kato ran the warm water

for me and helped me step into the bath. I attempted to rinse out the blood as

the warm water pooled around me. I was able to rinse out the crunchy red layer,

but it stained my white fur a brownish red.

  Kato waited in the

doorway but kept an eye on me. My movements in the bath were shaky, and I

assumed he was worried about me...or perhaps he just enjoyed looking. His face

wasn't like Misha's, though. Kato's face held a gentle expression full of

warmth and concern. Misha on the other hand always looked at me as if he

couldn't wait to get his hands on me; his was more of a lustful gaze. I felt

far less violated by Kato's stare. I shook my head as I washed the last of the

blood out.  

  As I drained the rusty

red water, Kato handed me a towel with a smile, "Are you ready?" He asked. "How

are you feeling?"

  I nodded. "I feel great."

I said, "I owe you one."

  Kato smiled and shook

his head, "No. You don't owe me anything." His hand remained on my shoulder

while I dried off.

  I had to be imagining

things...longing for attention. I decided not to dwell on the thought of Kato as

I slipped my clothing back on.

  It was late afternoon in

the tavern. "How long was I out?" I asked Kato, afraid that I had been passed

out for days again.

  "Not very long. You were

attacked last night." He said.

  I was shocked that all

the events had happened in such a short period of time, and that I felt so well

rested. Kato's magic really worked.

  We sat at a table and

Nikolai gave us a menu with a few different options. I pointed to the first

meat option I saw and ordered it quickly. Kato did the same, and I assumed he

was exhausted from what had happened as well.

  "It'll be right out."

Nikolai said before retreating behind the counter to polish glasses. A waitress

appeared and gave us two glistening glasses of water. I hastily took my glass

and guzzled the water, spilling some down my side due to my canine mouth. My

body felt so dehydrated I hardly cared.

  I didn't see Misha or

Caliber around; they must have gone out somewhere else.

  "Can you still

transform?" I asked while wiping away the drops of water.

  Kato glanced around the

room as well and then nodded, "Yes." He said. "But I lied to Misha. I wanted to

fly just once before he drugged me again."

  "You should." I

said.  "Do you know where Caliber and

Misha are?"

  "I'm assuming they went

back to Kei's garden to replenish the herbs Misha used to make the antidote."

Kato said as another waitress appeared with two steaming plates of food. "We

should go out as soon as we finish eating."

  I dug into the plate of

warm, tender meat as the waitress refilled our waters. My teeth ripped at the

juicy meat that melted in my mouth, and I savored the spices. I ate quickly but

somehow managed to avoid looking like a crazed animal. Kato was tearing at his

meat in a similar fashion. The food made my stomach ache and feel empty, as if

I couldn't eat enough.

  After I was done eating I

sat back and gulped down the rest of the water. Kato finished not long after me,

and we both let out a satisfied sigh before Kato jumped up. He gestured to me

to get up.

  "Come on." He said with a

bounce, "I know the perfect place."

  Kato was so eager. I

smiled at his enthusiasm as I followed him out the door. The food began to

settle in my stomach and I was starting to feel better. I was able to keep up

with him without any problems, and my body felt energized.

  We headed down the brick

path through town and took a trail the spiraled up a hill in the woods. Kato

broke into a sprint and I struggled to keep his pace. I slowed and watched him

dash off with pure excitement. Eventually, he turned around and ran back down

towards me.

  "Oh!" He exclaimed,

"Sorry, Decipher."

  I panted heavily, "I'm

fine, just a bit exhausted still." I laughed as we continued forward.

  "It's not much farther."

Kato said as he took my hand and dragged me forward. His gesture confused me. I

hesitated as he dragged me along, which made him turn around and face me again.

He seemed to just notice that he was gripping onto my hand, and dropped it

abruptly as his face flushed. After a moment I realized that he was probably

just excited, and it was nothing more than a friendly gesture.

  I walked next to him and

he avoided eye contact. I wanted to say something to make things less awkward,

but I had no idea what I could have said. I considered asking him about his

true feelings, but decided against it. I wanted Kato to enjoy this day, and I

didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Besides that, I didn't want to embarrass

myself when I realized I was imagining things. I decided the reason we felt

more connected today was due to the healing he had performed the night before;

our energies had been linked.

  We stepped out into a

clearing where the trees became sparse. There was a field of orange and violet

wildflowers swaying in the wind, and at the edge of the meadow there was a

ledge that dipped into a massive lake below. The scene was reminiscent of the

lookout point back at home. I gazed down at the sparkling water way below us. I

could see why Kato wanted to fly here. I watched the reflections of the clouds

above us rippling in the water, which was alive with movement of fish and other

creatures I couldn't quite make out.

  When I glanced back at

Kato, I saw he was already running towards the ledge. He tore past me and dove

off the edge without hesitation. As soon as his feet lifted off the ground, I

was blinded by a white light as he transformed into the phoenix.

  The giant bird let out a

triumphant cry that echoed through the air and made me wish I had my own wings.

I watched the flaming bird spin in circles in the air, leaving trails of smoke.

It looked like he was writing a message. When he finished, I saw a large

smiley-face drawn in the smoke and laughed.

  Kato then plummeted

through his smoke picture and began to fall towards the water. Right before he

hit the surface he flapped his burning wings and shot upwards. He climbed so

high in the sky I could no longer see him. I saw the clouds break apart as a

tiny orange figure burned through them.

  I laid down in the

wildflowers and watched Kato enjoy his freedom. His flaming figure blazed

through the air and spun around with a grace that couldn't be matched. I felt

energized just watching him. I couldn't imagine how it must have felt to fly

like that...so alive and free. I sighed when I realized that he probably wouldn't

get to fly like this again for a very long time.

  Eventually, he came

spiraling back down. He quickly fell through the air and dove straight into the

lake, which surprised me.

   The water steamed and let out a massive splash

as he colliding with it. I sat up and carefully watched, afraid that the water

would weaken his flaming feathers. The water was silent for a few moments.

Suddenly Kato emerged from the water and seemed to struggle to fly upwards. His

shadow fell over me as he climbed into the sky and fell back down on the edge of

the cliff.

  I felt heat simmering off

of the giant bird as white light surrounded him. Slowly, Kato sank back into

his human form. When the light faded, I saw blood leaking from Kato's nose. I

quickly ran up to him and lifted his head up.

  "Kato?" I asked,

panicked.

  He slowly cracked his eyes

open, and brought his hand up to his face. "Ah. Shit." He mumbled.

  "Are you alright?" I

asked as I helped him sit up.

  "Yeah...I just had less

energy than I thought." He panted with a short laugh as he wiped off his nose.

"Oh well. I had fun!"

  I was happy to see Kato

acting like his usual self, but I was still worried that he was injured. I

helped him stand up. "Don't scare me like that." I said. My side was aching again,

most likely due to stress eating away at my energy levels.

  Kato stood up and

wrapped his arm around me, "Sorry! I just wanted to ride it out until the last

second." He said with a sigh. "Thank goodness I was able to get out of that

water!"

  His face had the biggest

grin that I couldn't possibly have been upset with him. I couldn't blame him

for enjoying his brief moment of freedom.

   Kato let out a heavy sigh and gazed at the

path that would take us back into town.

  "Hey, Kato?" I said. He

looked back at me as I continued. "What was your assignment, anyways?"

  Kato cringed and sighed,

"Assignments...yeah. That reminds me, I have paperwork for you." He said, "Come

on, let's head back."

  "Paperwork?" I asked as

I trailed behind him.

  "Yeah...seeing as how I

was your trainer, I was responsible for making sure you completed your first

assignment." Kato said, "I'm really sorry I wasn't there to help you, Decipher.

It's not technically allowed but this was fucked up...none of this should have

happened."

  "Don't blame yourself,

Kato." I said.

  "They drugged me so that

I couldn't help you." Kato continued as we walked back. "That was the plan...but

they weren't supposed to suppress my magical abilities as far as I know. Sheila

must have had someone mess with my injection...she didn't attack so that you'd

let your guard down. I think she was afraid of fighting you, knowing that you

had been training with me." Kato paused and looked me in the eyes, "What

happened out there, anyways?"

  I shivered at the

thought. I hadn't considered the fact that Sheila's massacred body was still

out in the woods. "I...tore through her ribs and ripped out her heart." I said

with a hard swallow. "I forgot...I left her body out in the woods. She led Misha

and I to some crossroads."

   "That's fine." Kato said. "The townspeople

will assume it was a werewolf attack, and a few people knew Sheila was an

aggressive type. They wouldn't blame a werewolf for killing her. Plus, I hear

she has killed a few important figures in the town."

   I nodded and the air filled with

silence as we walked. Even the forest was quiet. I looked at the ground. "I

think Misha's afraid of me now, too."

  "Good." Kato huffed.

  I became quiet again and

my ears fell back.

  Kato turned around and

noticed my upset expression. "Why do you think so?"

  "It was pretty bloody..."

I mumbled, "I mean, you saw how much blood I was covered in."

  "Misha has seen gore

before. He's been a part of plenty surgeries back at the lab. He knows what the

insides of people looks like." Kato said. "I don't think that would have

bothered him, and he knew you were being trained to kill."

  "Maybe it's because he's

never seen that part of me. I don't think he ever wanted to." I admitted. "He's

only ever known my gentle side...I mean, he does love me, and I can never stay

upset with him."

  Kato didn't respond but

instead turned and looked out towards the trees. We were almost back to town.

After a few moments he finally turned back to me.

  "It's better Misha is

aware of what you can do." He  finally said.

"Do you regret what happened?"

   "No." I said flatly. "Sheila had to die. I

was okay with that. It doesn't matter how it happened. I did what I could, and

I don't feel like I did anything wrong."

  "You didn't." Kato

assured me as we came out on the brick path.

   "So Misha gave you the antidote?" I

was finally brave enough to ask.

  Kato nodded. "It took

some convincing, but I guess he cared enough about your life to put aside his

orders." He sighed.

  I couldn't help but smile

at that thought. When I noticed Kato's upset expression, I became sad again.

Regardless of whether or not Kato had feelings for me, he was still upset with

Misha, and I knew he didn't want me to be with him. I honestly wasn't sure I

wanted to be with him, either.  

  It seemed like every

time I felt like things got better with Misha, they somehow became worse

shortly after. I sighed. Misha did seem to be trying his hardest for me. I knew

it was asking a lot of him to share his secrets and completely change his

lifestyle...but he seemed like he was trying. I had to give him credit for that.

  Kato pointed down the

brick path. "I think that's Misha and Caliber down by the fountain." He said.

It was at this point that I realized we had been walking in the opposite

direction of the tavern.

  We continued towards the

center of town and I remained silent. Kato seemed to be collecting his thoughts

and brushing the dirt off of himself; he must have been afraid of Misha finding

out what had happened.

  I suddenly remembered

the fountain...there was something there that I was supposed to know, I could

feel it. This didn't feel like something my downloaded information was trying

to tell me anymore, but perhaps I was just confused.

   We

approached the glistening cascade of water and energy, and I was drawn to it. My

gaze wandered upwards, following the lines of the great serpent coiled around

the illuminated crystal. The crystal seemed alive, and I saw dancing shapes

within it's iridescent edges. I stared blankly at it as my mind attempted to

grasp at the veiled thoughts in my mind.

  "Decipher! Kato!"

Caliber's voice shook me. "Great to see you two."

  I turned to see Caliber

approaching us. My mind felt heavy, as if I had just had another encounter with

the goddess. Dazed, I felt Misha wrap his arms around me. I returned his

gesture without thought, but the embrace didn't last long.

  He stepped away,

"Sorry..." He mumbled, "I just am really glad you're okay."

  "I am, too." I said.

  "Thanks again, Kato."

Misha said, nodding in his direction.

  Kato smiled, "Anything

for Decipher."

  Caliber looked as though

he was caught in the middle of an awkward exchange, and cleared his throat.

Misha turned back to him and stepped even farther back from me.

  "So, Decipher," Caliber

said, eyeing the fountain, "Any memories come up?"

   "Actually, no." I admitted,

completely puzzled. "I just...knew there was a fountain. The image of the crystal

really stuck out in my mind." 

  "Strange." He mused as

he sat on a bench near the fountain. "You still have to tell me about your

vision, you know."

   My ears twitched as Misha glanced

at me, "Oh, so Caliber was right?" He asked, tilting his head, "You had another

encounter with the goddess?"

  Kato's interest had been

perked as well by this point, and I decided I trusted them all with the

knowledge of the vision.

  I described to them

everything that I remembered...the endless sea of white petals, the brown jay,

dancing as it dodged them, and the wolf. I decided not to tell them exactly

what she said, but instead explained to them that she reminded me of my

"destined path to destroy."

  Misha seemed to be the

least interested, but he listened anyway. When I was done describing my vision,

Kato and Caliber exchanged a few glances.

  "Do you know what it

means?" Caliber asked.

  "I'm figuring it out...I

think." I said. "I don't really understand all of the symbolism used, though."

  Caliber nodded, "I used

to study symbolism...I think I know what a few things mean." He said. "I could

try to interpret it if you'd like?"

  I nodded. "Sure."

  "Well, the jay

represents pain, and the petals most likely represent purity, complete

innocence, the meaning of truth." Caliber said, motioning towards the sky. "The

fact that it was dancing through the white petals means it was avoiding truth.

Lies will end up being your downfall...seek honesty whenever you can."

  Kato nodded, "Yeah,

that's what I was thinking, too." He said.

  Misha remained quiet. I

had to wonder if the vision was warning me of his lies, or my own. The brown

jay could have easily represented either me or Misha, we were both tip toeing

around the truth. Jay had been the name Misha had given me. It was strange to

me that the jay represented pain...but perhaps that was only the case in this

specific vision. I didn't want to press the issue, though, so I didn't ask

Caliber to clarify.

   I remembered Kato's warning that I could never

tell Misha the truth, but the thought ate at me. I desperately wanted to tell

him the truth, and it seemed like the right thing to do if I was going to

attempt to have a relationship with him. I wanted to do things right.

   If the vision was warning me of

Misha, it would fall into a large list of signs that I shouldn't be with him. One more chance. I thought as I closed

my eyes. He's trying...

  The group let me think

in silence. Misha and Kato had their eyes on the fountain, while Caliber's

attention remained on me. I began to question what Misha thought of all this.

Had he even been listening? He didn't seem to be affected, which made me think

the vision was warning me of my own lies.

   "That gives me some things to think about."

I said as I gazed into the void of the crystal. "Thanks, Caliber."

  "Sure thing, Decipher.

Glad I could help." He said, turning his attention back to the fountain.

  I became lost in the

dancing shapes of the crystal. The thoughts of my vision continued to haunt my

mind. Perhaps this was why the fountain weighed on my mind. These thoughts

about truth and pain, thoughts about my relationships, friendships, I needed to

figure it out. I felt as if I were about to run out of time as I watched the

crystal swirl with energy. I shuddered and let the empty void silence my hectic

thoughts.