Skyfall Chapter 22
22 I felt myself sink back into the prison of my body. I could feel Misha lying on top of me. Carefully, I opened my eyes, and saw that he had fallen asleep. I remained numb to the current circumstance as my body squirmed beneath his dead weight. As I slowly became more conscious, I tried to assure myself that everything was fine, but it was hard to fight the feeling of panic. My movements caused Misha to stir. He propped himself up over me with his arms. The moment was blurred, as if I were recalling some kind of nightmare. I looked up to his face but I didn't see him, all I could see was the image of his younger, innocent self. It was difficult to imagine them as the same person. I still felt dizzy and distant from reality. Shaking my head, I blinked several times to try and clear my thoughts. "It's late. I should get to dinner." Misha said as he pet my face. His blurred face shifted into focus as he asked me, "Are you hungry?" "It's all a game, two-fifty-seven." Hale's voice echoed in my tormented mind as Misha's face became clear. "Give and take." It was all a game. I just needed to start playing. "Decipher?" Misha asked. He didn't deserve to say my name. I narrowed my eyes. "Yeah, Misha." I lied, "I am hungry." He nodded as he got off of me, sliding his hand down my torso one last time. He retrieved his clothing, and I watched his fragile figure move as he slipped his coat back on. It would be so easy to snap him in half... My mind became hopeful at the thought as I slipped on my own black shorts. I didn't bother with a shirt. "By the way, thanks for that, Decipher." He said, avoiding my eyes. His words tormented me only for a moment. I pulled my lips back and bore my teeth. He wasn't expressing gratitude. He knew what he was doing. He was playing the game far better than I was. I decided not to dwell on the thought. In the end, I would figure out a way to win, and that was all that mattered. "Shall we go?" He asked, turning to face me again. "Sure." I said, shoving past him on my way out the door. We arrived in the dining hall just in time for the late session of dinner. I picked up a chunk of meat from one of the trays and tossed it on to a plate. I wasn't paying attention to what Misha was doing. I decided to treat him like a stray animal that was following me around; he was certainly acting like one. I noticed Caliber across the room and wandered over towards him. He was carrying his guard helmet, and his armor was covered in dust and mud. I assumed he had just come back from the field. He looked exhausted. I made my way over to him as he sank down at an isolated table in the corner of the room. I was dying to talk to him. I knew it wouldn't be possible to have an in-depth discussion right now, but I wanted to at least say hi. "Decipher!" He said, smiling weakly as he looked up at me. "It's good to see you up." I glanced behind me to see Misha still picking out food, and then turned back to Caliber. "I need to talk to you. I have so many questions." I whispered quickly. "When are you free?" "I don't think I have the answers, Decipher." He said, leaning back against the wall as he glanced at Misha with a sigh. "You know better than I do." I sighed. He wasn't going to tell me much. "Were you there the entire time?" I asked as Misha approached us. Caliber shook his head. "I was there when I needed to be, but that's pretty much it. I'm sorry I couldn't do more." Misha took a seat next to me. I turned my focus onto my food and tried to ignore him. I took a few bites as Misha and Caliber exchanged forced greetings. It was apparent that Caliber was uncomfortable. "It's not your fault." I mumbled to Caliber after a few moments. He didn't reply. After a few moments, Caliber dismissed himself and went to get food, and I was left alone at the table with Misha. I inhaled deeply as I leaned back and stared at Misha. "Misha." I began. He seemed to be startled as I spoke to him, and set his fork down to listen to me. This is good. I thought. He won't be expecting this... "Do I need to speak with Hale?" "Hale's gone for a bit." Misha said with a shrug as he continued to eat. He seemed to be relieved. "I think he gets back tomorrow. I'm sure he'll summon you to his office eventually, but don't worry about it for now." He said. I continued to stare at him, and my lip pulled up in a strange smile. I glanced at Caliber as he returned and sat across from me. He didn't seem to want to, but I think he wanted to support me. I turned and glared at Misha again, who was finishing his last bite of food. "I have to get back to the lab..." He said as he began to gather his dishes. "Before you do, I have another question." I said before he could leave. He stopped and turned to look at me. "Sure, what's up?" "What made you Hale's bitch?" I asked in a surge of bravery. Caliber nearly choked on his drink, and slammed it down to stare at me with wide eyes. I felt bad that Caliber was going to be exposed to this, but I didn't have time to ask him to leave. I had to say what I needed to say while I had the strength. "What has he ever done for you?" I continued as I ignored Caliber, who was shaking his head and pleading with me to shut up, "Besides kill and destroy those you love, of course." "What?" Misha snapped. "Oh don't worry about me causing trouble; he'll kill me soon, too." I said, holding up my hands with a grin, "You love me, right? You think Hale's going to let you keep a pet, after all the mistakes you've made? Haven't you learned your lesson by now?" "Shut up." Misha said, slamming his hands down on the table. My mouth twitched at his command, but he must not have really meant it, because I was still able to spit out a reply. "I can't wait to die, Misha." I leaned in closer towards him. "I've got nothing left, thanks to you." "I said shut up!" Misha growled. I jumped up and shoved him out of his seat without thought. I pinned him up against the wall and snarled, bringing my teeth close to him face, but not striking at him. "You owe it to me!" I growled. "You at least owe me an explanation. Why the fuck do you follow Hale, after all he's done to you?" Misha's face looked twisted in pain and shock as I pinned him up against the wall. "You don't know ANYTHING about me!" He yelled. "I know enough!" I snarled. "At the very least, I now understand why you choose me...You never thought I would turn on you, huh? You thought I'd always be your submissive little bitch, right?" "No!" Misha yelled. I was suddenly reminded of the werewolf from his vision, and I roared as I slammed Misha's head against the wall. "You deserve everything that happens to you." I growled. "Fuck you." He coughed. "No need. That's your job." Misha's face was a mixture of anger and surprise. I was happy to have caught him off guard. I snarled again and went to slam his head against the wall one last time when I felt someone grip my shoulder and toss me off of Misha. I growled, and was about to attack when I saw it was Caliber who had thrown me to the ground. "Don't move." Caliber commanded. I cursed under my breath, knowing that Caliber had to do his duty before help me. I knew Caliber couldn't risk being found out, and it was probably better someone stopped me there before I could do any real damage. "Doctor Aras, are you alright?" He said. Misha was shaking as he moved off of the wall I had pinned him up against. His nose was bleeding, but other than that he looked fine. I purposely didn't do much damage; I only wanted to shake his emotions a bit. I was glad that I hadn't seemed to damage him enough for him to need medical attention...I slowly began to regret my actions. I might be in serious trouble. "Aras!" "Yes...Yes, Caliber, I'm fine." Misha said, glaring down at me. "Good. Then I won't document this matter unless you want Hale to hear of it." Caliber said with a deadly serious voice. "I'm the only guard on site right now." "No. It was my fault." Misha said. "I could've used the compulsion but I didn't. We don't need to bring this up to anyone else." "Understood." Caliber nodded. "Go get yourself cleaned up. I'll escort Decipher to his room for the night, unless you want him somewhere else?" Caliber grabbed my hands and pinned them behind my back as he slipped some bonds over them. I allowed it, knowing that if I fought Caliber I would likely just get into more trouble. Besides that, I definitely did not want to hurt Caliber. "No. That sounds fine." Misha said, wiping some blood from his nose. Caliber shoved me towards the exit and kept his hands gripped onto my bound wrists while Misha stormed off towards his lab. Caliber was doing a good job at playing the role of the guard. My arm was twisted at an uncomfortable angle behind me. "What the fuck was that, Decipher?" Caliber asked once we were out of the dining hall, enraged, gripping onto me tightly. "Sorry." I winced. "I just had to say it." "Why?" He demanded. "It's not like it's going to help you! Don't piss him off, especially not while he has control over you!" "He's going to torment me either way, Caliber." I sighed. "He didn't ask me to stop, either." "You seem different, Decipher. I mean, the guy deserves to be told off, but seriously...what came over you?" Caliber asked, releasing his grip on my wrists and relaxing a bit. We walked up the stairs and past the information desk. "People change." "I just didn't expect something like that from you." "After a while you stop caring about what could happen to you." I sighed. "Especially when your worst fears are already happening to you." Caliber leaned closer to me. "What about Kato?" He asked. "Aren't you afraid they'll hurt him?" "I can't afford to live in fear anymore." I said, meeting Caliber's eyes for a brief moment. "Kato and I are running out of time. Look, Caliber...I just had to get it out!" We stopped at my door. I sighed as Caliber unlocked the bonds. "I'm sorry you had to be involved." I said, feeling guilty. "Don't worry about it." He said while avoiding my eyes. "It's better I was the one, anyways." "Thank you." I said. I thought for a moment on how I should phrase my next statement. "Come with us." I whispered. "Please!" "I have to stay here. You know this. There will be others who need my help." He said. "Which reminds me... I will have to try and stop you when you and Kato try and escape. Don't be afraid to hurt me when the day comes, Decipher. You can't do any real damage to me. I have the Goddess on my side, so make sure you remember that when I'm shooting at you." My ears fell. "Wait, what?" I asked, panicked. "No, Caliber. I can't hurt you!" "That's right." He said with a small smile. "You can't. Now get some rest. Kato will come find you tomorrow morning if Misha doesn't need you." He turned and began to walk away as I stood frozen in the hallway. Even if I couldn't actually hurt him, I wasn't sure I would be able to even defend myself from him. He would have to hurt me, though...and I wondered if he had a clear shot, if he would take it. Surely his mission from the Goddess was more important than I was, but still I wondered how much he actually cared about my well-being. I missed him already. Caliber was different. Everyone was different. I missed the days when Caliber was just a strange, goofy man who had invaded my shower, and Misha was just a confusing doctor that was always busy in his lab...and Kato. Kato was just a good friend who I could always count on. Kato was the only one that had remained unchanged enough that I could grasp onto the feelings from the past. I closed my eyes as I opened my door and stepped inside. The air in my room felt cold and I shivered as I stepped inside. An overwhelming feeling of loneliness chilled me. I would be lucky to escape here with Kato...but I wished that I could take every innocent soul from here...even if they had sinned. Fleur, the innocent werewolf girl, both of them had died by my hands. Did they deserve it? I do not think they deserved it. What about Sheila? What had she really done, besides try and avenge her lover? I had only disliked Wes and Sheila because they posed a threat towards Misha. Why the hell did I ever feel compelled to protect Misha?! My thoughts drove me crazy as I wandered into my room. It was dark inside, and the world outside my large windows was shrouded in snow and fog. I wondered what the world would look like by tomorrow morning. Earlier today, I had sat with Kato on the plateau overlooking the valley. I could hardly believe what had happened since then. I slowly wandered over to my bed in the dark room and collapsed onto it. My head was spinning with all the events of the day. It seemed impossible that so much had happened in such a short period of time. Even though I was free from the basement, my mind was still adjusting. Between happy moments with Kato and disturbing trips into Misha's memory...time still made no sense to me. I clutched the blanket and wrapped myself into it with a shiver. The air felt so cold as I began to fall asleep, feeling more alone than I had in a very long time. Dreams. A concept I had become quite familiar with ever since crashing onto this fantastical planet, a planet I didn't even know the name of...a planet I understood very little of. Dreams back at home weren't full of life like the ones found here. At home I used to dream of an idea, rather than a place or image. I used to dream that one day everyone would wake up and see that their current system was flawed, and that they were slowly leading themselves to the death of all. I dreamt they would wake up and revolt against their oppressing leaders. They never would, though. The only important ones, the Elites and the Council, had the option of just leaving...and the rest of us, the drones, would accept our fate in the wasteland of their decisions. For some reason, I didn't accept my fate. Through some magical turn of events I had landed here in what might as well have been a dream. I knew I was dreaming as I watched Kato fly around the snowy peaks of Skyfall. His blazing, orange silhouette cast orange fire across the white canvas of the mountainside. I wondered if I would ever see this image for real as I watched it. It felt only vaguely real, like a myth or legend that had been passed down for generations. The image was clear, but the feeling was distant, something you longed to be real. This dream filled me with content. I had no desire to do anything but watch Kato twist and spin with passion, with the desire to be alive. The image became hazy as I began to wake up. I tried to cling to the sight of Kato flying through the mist and fog, but I lost sight of him as my eyes slowly cracked open. I shivered as I awoke to pale light filtering through the foggy window. The room was silent and empty, and cold described more than the temperature. I slowly stepped out of bed and made my way over to the window. I rubbed the fog aside and gasped at the sight.
The world outside was shrouded in white. The snow had settled and left mounds of ice across the landscape, and the mountains of Skyfall were completely white. My eyes adjusted to the white and moved along the curves and edges of the trees and mountains. Skyfall mountains. The name felt so haunting after seeing this. It was as if the sky truly had fallen, and each star had dripped down from the heavens to glisten in cold light. I wondered why the mountains had been given their name. Snow was not always present; there had to be another reason. I reflected on my dream as I traced the edges of the massive mountains with my eyes. I imagined Kato's orange body flying across the white surface. The sight was beautiful, even if it was eerie, and I shivered again. A knock at the door shook me out of my daze. I jumped and quickly slipped on a pair of pants and a warm jacket. I opened the door with no expectations of who was behind it, but was pleasantly surprised to see Kato's face. "Good morning!" He said. He was also dressed in thick clothing. I imagined he must be freezing. "Have you eaten yet?" I shook my head. "No. I just woke up." "How are you feeling?" Kato asked. "I heard from Caliber something happened last night, but he couldn't risk talking about it." Kato looked upset, and I wanted to ease his worries. "I'm fine." I said as convincingly as I could. "I just sort of...told off Misha...and then slammed him into a wall." "Oh!" Kato said, shocked. "And there weren't any negative repercussions?" "No. Caliber was the only guard on site so he handled it pretty well." I sighed. I had forgotten about the incident during my sleep, my mind had been too focused on the meaningless dream. "It turned out okay. I might have to kiss Misha's ass in the coming days, though...just so he continues to trust me." Kato nodded. "I'm sorry, Decipher." "Don't be." "Well, come on, let's get some food." He said as we began walking. "Are you up for some training? You could fight a few werewolf entities to brush up on your skills, and it'd give us something to do." "You mean an excuse to spend some time together..." I mused. When I realized I had said it out loud, I wanted to slap myself. Kato gave me a confused expression. "Well, I guess." He said, avoiding my eyes as we walked down the stairs towards the dining hall. "Do you want to?" "Yes!" I said, "I'm sorry, I was just a bit distracted. I have a lot to think about." I closed my eyes with more frustration as I finished my statement. Kato was smart, and I knew he would figure out what I meant. I had a lot to think about concerning my feelings for him, but that wasn't what I had intended to say. We walked in silence for the rest of the way. I felt a bit guilty for letting that topic slip into the open. I cared about Kato more than anything else, yet I still couldn't call it love. I wanted to be able to think of it as love, but I couldn't. We had very briefly spoken about it, but still I felt the need to explain myself. We entered the dining hall and got ourselves some food. I saw Misha sitting off at a far table. It looked like we were in the middle of the morning, between the early and late shifts. I swallowed hard as Misha ignored me and wondered if I had made a mistake the night before. I wasn't sure what Hale would do to me if I was no longer important to Misha Aras. Hale took an interest in Misha. I wasn't sure if it was because of personal reasons, or nothing more than the fact that Misha was great at his job, and great at following orders. Kato and I sat at a table not far from Misha. I knew I couldn't interact with him while Kato was around, or else he would see right through me. Kato's rage towards Misha rubbed off on me, and I wanted to be able to fool Misha. I picked at my food anxiously. "So, werewolf entities?" I said in a pathetic attempt to make conversation. Kato nodded and sipped at a hot beverage. "Yeah. You could use a refresher course..." his voice became hushed, "especially with what's coming." "Alright." I said as I attempted to eat my food. I felt as if I were slowly losing my calm, and had to focus to remain composed. Kato and I finished our meals in silence. "Are you ready to go?" He asked. "I'm worried." I said. "I think I need to speak with Misha." "Alright, but be careful." Kato said, letting his golden gaze rest on my eyes for a moment. "Meet me in the arena. Don't do anything crazy." "I won't." I mumbled as he walked away. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to Misha, but I knew I had to say something to soothe my nerves. I needed to know that Misha wasn't going to have Hale do something terrible to me for what I had done...I needed to make sure Misha thought part of me did care about him. Was there any chance he would believe me? I took a few steps towards his table. He was glancing at some paperwork absent-mindedly, and didn't look like he was really reading it. "Hey...Misha." I began with a shaky voice. He tossed his paper aside and glared up at me. "What?" I wondered how I could fake it without overdoing it. He would never believe me if I suddenly acted like I loved him... "What do you want, Decipher?" He demanded. "What I said about an explanation..." I trailed off. "I really do want to know why. You betrayed me." His expression softened just a bit as he glared into my eyes. The emotion in my expression wasn't hard to fake. I truly did feel betrayed and terrified when I looked at him. "I had to." He said through grit teeth as he rubbed his head with his hands. "I told you." My ears fell. He wasn't going to confess anything to me, and I wasn't sure where to go from here. "That's not an answer." I whispered. "Who forced you?" "Leave me alone!" He yelled, causing a few people to glance over at us. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any harm." I said in a dark voice. "I just wanted you to understand what you had done to me, and realize what was going to happen to me." I turned and walked away. I felt his eyes watching me as I walked off, but I had no idea if my words meant anything to him. I arrived in the arena to see that Kato had already set it up with large boulders and fallen logs. I sighed as I approached him. Deciding that I wouldn't need them, I slipped off my pants and jacket. I didn't want to tear the clothes when I transformed into the werewolf. "Well?" Kato asked. "Everything okay?" I nodded. "Yeah. Give me something to attack." Kato nodded, "Sure. I'll wait off to the side. Try to use a lot of magic today." He said as he climbed up one of the trees and sat in the branches. "Magic will be good for you. It'll help you clear your head and focus your thoughts!" He called down to me. I allowed myself to close my eyes and focus on the moment. My heart was thumping with anticipation. I had lied. I did want to cause Misha harm, and I would. When I opened my eyes, the glow was fading from the werewolf entity. I focused my mind on the parts of my body that shifted with my rage...the way my joints twisted in my knees and arms, the way my slender fingers became heavy, thick paws that could barely grasp at things...Paws meant for ripping. The wolf was charging at me as my body shifted. I allowed it to collide with me and drag me across the ground. When the dust settled, I was gone. I climbed up onto a rock and sent a wave of pure energy that burst into a flame at the werewolf. The energy exploded from my body with ease, and the wolf wasn't able to get within twenty feet of me. It snarled in frustration as it tried to get to me, and I became bored of using magic. I dove off the rock and smashed into the wolf, which roared and flailed it's massive paws at me in attempt to toss me off of its back. I snarled along with it, a wicked sound that was more like the laughter of a monster. I dug my teeth into the strangely solid fur and tore at it's neck. To my surprise, blood splattered from the entity, but it disappeared as soon as it hit the ground. With a few more twists of my powerful jaws, the beast was dead. It died before I even noticed it, and I continued to tear at it with insane force. "Alright, alright!" Kato shouted. "Get ready for the next one!" The dead entity burst into light as another one came crashing towards me from across the field. I stood my ground, and dodged it easily once it reached me. I gripped onto it's back with my own massive paw and pinned it to the ground. With my paws delivering a swift twist to it's neck, this one also fell dead. The process repeated. I allowed my rage to manifest itself and tear into these entities. I charged at the next entity, ripping it's eyes out before it even knew where I was. It was dead quicker than the last. This happened a few more times until the arena fell silent. I sat panting, waiting for my next challenger. "Decipher..." I heard Kato's voice echo. "Another!" I shouted. "Come on, I'm ready." "I don't think you need to rip apart another entity..." "COME ON!" I roared, glaring at Kato. "You're not even using magic. Blind rage will get you nowhere, Decipher!" Kato hopped down from his tree and began to walk towards me. He wasn't being cautious, and I was nervous. I snarled and backed up in case the wolf in me decided he was a threat. "Calm down." Kato said softly. Was he trying to get hurt? He was walking right towards me when I clearly the werewolf wasn't ready to calm down. I let out a low growl, and he continued walking towards me. "Stop, Kato." I rumbled, "I...I need to let this out." "You're taking things too far!" Kato snapped, causing my attention to lock onto him. "What happened with Misha...who's next, Decipher? That was a stupid move you pulled yesterday." "I hate Misha!" I growled. "He deserved it!" "Maybe, Decipher...but you're still changing!" Kato shouted. I sensed his energy heating up...he was upset, perhaps afraid. "Hate can only get you so far!" The wolf in me snarled and charged at him, it could smell his fear. Kato braced himself for impact but stood his ground. I stopped myself just short of him. I leveled my eyes with him. Kato looked calm on the surface, but he was hurt on the inside. He was trying to protect me from myself; I could see the fear and concern hiding behind his golden eyes. He had always been trying to protect me from myself. "Be careful of what you change into." Kato whispered. My mind began to calm itself as I leveled my eyes with his. His golden, knowing eyes poured into mine. I felt myself shrink back down into my normal form, and took a few steps backwards. "You should be more careful..." I mumbled, panting heavily from the adrenaline rush. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry." "Then don't." Kato said with a warm smile. "You didn't, Decipher. There is no need to apologize for something you didn't do." "How can you have so much faith in me?" I asked quietly. I wondered how anyone had faith in me at this point. "I don't know." Kato said, still wearing his smile. "Maybe it's because you give me hope. You're the first person to tell me to chase my freedom...everyone else has told me to just be happy with just being alive, or out of the basement...But not you, you're different." "You deserve your freedom." I said, still panting. Kato laughed, "You're the first person to say that, too." His smile was infectious, and I smiled back at him timidly. I still had no idea why I gave Kato the hope that I did, but I wanted to live up to his expectations. "So, feeling less rage-induced now?" Kato asked. I nodded. "Yeah, thank you for stopping me." I sighed. "You're right. I do need to be careful of what I change into." "Don't worry." Kato said. "We'll be out soon enough. Just keep your head together until then." "Would you like to toss some fire around?" I asked. "I still have a lot of energy that could use burning." Kato nodded. "That sounds great." He said. I sent him the phoenix-shaped flame once more, and we began to fly it back and forth. I focused on the calming, warm energy of the bird as we silently meditated on the flames. My days were running out. I needed to stay calm, and be strong. I had only begun to realize how difficult it was to do both at the same time. Rage brought power, uncontrollable power. Rage was a fire without purpose, a tightly knit ball of destruction, waiting for someone to unravel it. I couldn't let this happen. I would never escape if I relied on blind rage alone, Kato was right. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of the phoenix that danced between Kato and I, feeling our energies sync up and twist together in a beautiful waltz. I allowed my mind to drift away with the phoenix. Become strong, remain calm.