The Powder Room
#2 of Ball-Shaped Objects
Hinrich decides to leave his troubles outside, where it's windy and cold, but inside it's so hot...
Amazingly amusing cover art is by Frosted-Fur. - go check out the original at link616041: and give him a lot of love!
Hello, folks!
This is the second part of a four-part miniseries! *chuckle* I had a marathon writing session over the weekend, and as a result I'm proud to present the first chapter of this story, now finished and just waiting to be published for your reading pleasure in four tantalizing segments!
This story has a three-part purpose - it is an original work by me, written because it's been too long since I wrote something like this, and it is also both a commission and a gift to
Hope you enjoy the read, and I am looking forward to your feedback! I'm doing something rare and actually using the "Humor" tag with this one, something I rarely dare to do.
*
"Fallink in love again
Never vantet to
vat am I to do
I kan't help it..."
Hinrich took another fruity sip from his Virgin Slipknot cocktail, served in a martini glass, though a shade of green and with the compulsory little umbrella that had blinking lights on it, and let the surprisingly high on alcohol concoction swim over his tongue before he swallowed, enjoying the burn.
Well, the drag queen crooning on the little stage sure had it right, no matter how much of a lack of imagination dolling up as Marlene Dietrich might have indicated in the context of a gay club burlesque. Hinrich didn't mind. Tough outside or not, breaking rocks for a living, sure, but he couldn't deny that there was something inexplicably amusing about these genderbenders mincing around the relatively crowded bar, serving the customers dressed up in their sequins, platform shoes, glittery makeup and on occasion, the always hilarious comically large artificial breasts. Hinrich had never ever donned anything belonging to the opposite gender (if you didn't count that really drunken time with friends or that one Halloween party), but it did not give a sexy kick to him. He just felt all fuzzy and warm inside, watching these ladyboys camp it up. It kinda symbolized for him, he wondered, that...that perhaps...perhaps it could be a good thing. Who the hell could ever feel depressed if a 190-cm-tall wolverine served you a pink drink while wearing his grandmother's best Sunday church dress and called you a pretty girl? Nobody!
"Love's allvays been mein game
Play it how I may
I vas made zat vay
I kan't help it"
"Prost," Hinrich muttered and toasted himself with his green cocktail, and sunk deeper into the worn leather of the booth. Everywhere he saw, there were disco balls, colored fabrics, weasels with rainbow hair dyes, a polar bear wearing a leather harness sweet-talking a wolf wearing a collar, twinky foxes swinging their tails in unison as they slow-danced to the music, glittering drag queen ball gown gloves and a lot of beer...
It was a rather standard night in Hinrich's regular queer haunt, the gay bar "Der Puderraum", which, with its awful faux English name, besides that, suited the red panda just fine. First of all, it wasn't too big, so he didn't have to endure a hundred swishy twinks sweating their assess off on ecstasy, or a similar number of rough whip-carrying leather daddies, they were all-inclusive, their drinks were alright, and there were...you know...drag queens!
"Men kluster to me
Laik moths around ze flame
Aind if zer vings burn
I know I'm not ze blame..."
Hinrich yawned. He glanced from left to right and detected no appreciable clusters of men on either direction. Guess small slinky red pandas wearing unflattering clothes and no makeup just didn't get noticed in a place like this. Maybe it was for the best, too to be left alone. It wasn't like he was bound to meet anyone here who'd be interested in talking about, say, Paleozoic plate tectonics? Perhaps shop talk wouldn't be appreciated....but he'd like to speak about stuff like that with a (potential) boyfriend...maybe he could let the standard slip when it came to random sexual partners...but even those seemed to be in short supply. He wasn't opposed to, not in theory, but nobody seemed to be in the mood to cottage a red panda that night...there were all those busy-looking, shallow twinks sitting on the bar counter with their asses practically hanging off the bar stools like ripe fruit ready to be picked by any passing daddy type of a fur...there were enough of them around, doing their usual hunting. The red panda was sure that maybe being picked up wouldn't be such a bad thing...
"fallink in love again
Never vanted to...
Vat am I to do?
I just kan't help it..."
The silver fox doing Marlene wrapped up with a variety of dramatic paw gestures and clutched the microphone once the applause started to ring in, and someone threw a rose in from the sidelines and she sniffed it and mouthed a lot of thankyou's while the crowd went politely wild. Even Hinrich clapped a few times, and watched how the master of ceremonies, a particularly non-convincingly crossdressed wolf aptly named Coco appeared on stage, clapping with some purple sequined gloves covering his paws and turning them into mobile disco balls.
"Thanke für Lola für Her beautiful Performance, she really makes you fall in Love again unt again!"
Hinrich flapped his ears - these jokes were about as old as The Blue Angel itself. The audience was laughing politely, of course.
"Unt nov, Boys unt Girls, hier komms ein olt Favourite from ze last year, unt I am sure you all kan vith her singen!" Coco introduced the next act with a deliciously nasal twang. "Put yor Paws up in ze Air für...LOOOREEEEEEN!"
Hinrich facepawed softly - so first they performed an 83-year-old song, and then another one came up, entitled an old 'favorite' that was from...last year? These furs had a strange concept of time now. But it really didn't seem to matter, when the stage lights became dramatically blue, and someone wearing a ridiculously long, wavy black wig appeared kneeling on stage, as the music began to play. "Old" by gay standards or not, the red panda thought, it still seemed to be dong the trick, though, furs were really leaving the small side tables and booths and actually going to the dance floor, small enough that it would become crowded within a few moments, as it did, with the music rising, the shallow faux deep lyrics booming from the big speakers by the stage until...and Hinrich did flop his ears to prepare for it, because he'd seen this performance about two dozen times since last year...
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIA!"
A disheartening number of furs were singing along, drunkenly and off-key, which wasn't really all told that much worse than the original, Hinrich thought, even when the room practically began to shake with the volume of music coming from the speakers, and with everyone jumping and bouncing and generally seemingly having fun. He could've turned it a bit lower than that...it always gave him a headache...he hoped they weren't playing the 16-minute Extended Cool Club Remix of the song this time.
"Für ze gay Schweden," Hinrich decided to polish off his drink with a toast to the Fatherland of this music that was now pounding into his brain.
The booming music was distracting enough that it took him a few moments to realize. It dawned on him slowly, watching the writhing crowd of dancers, looking at the mixture of different bodies, to really look and realize that someone there was very tall and very...feline and very...
...yes, just now when the music was going "OH OHO OH OHO HOO OH OOOOOHOOOOO!" and everyone was bouncing, including the blood vessels inside his brain so prone to giving him migraines, that someone turned around, and Hinrich could see huge striped arms wrapped around some little badger, with the massive...tiger...standing behind him, smirking high above the top of the badger's head while he was obviously doing some heavy duty grinding to the badger's rump.
Hinrich was glad that he wasn't holding his glass, he was quite sure that he would've dropped it at the moment he recognized the pleasurably scowling face among the crowd on the dance floor. Eyes closed or not, probably huffing the smell of an aroused badger, or the crowd in general, such a wild mixture of different masculine scents, surely...that the same obviously pleased face belonged to the bad-tempered tiger he had seen at the university before...
"Verdammt," Hinrich mumbled, his cheeks growing flushed, his ears already hot, and...he didn't even want to think about his pants, or what they contained. His earlier recognition of the tiger's physical prowess and attractiveness (not to mention that he always had a thing for bad attitude, anyway) seemed to grow a hundredfold in his mind, now that he was seeing the very same tiger dry-hump a random badger in a drag queen bar while a crowd of gay men boogied the night away.
It soon became envy, too. Why couldn't he be the one there being molested by a tiger, not that badger? He was about as attractive as that badger, Hinrich decided, staring at his clenched paws on the tabletop...he could be humped quite freely, given the opportunity...seemed that the badger had stolen that for now though...he couldn't really go there onto the dance floor, push the badger away and declare to the tiger that he'd raise his tail for him any time, no, even gay guys had enough manners to not steal someone's cock...right?
"OH OHO OHO OHO HOOOOHOOOOO!"
Was the tiger now humping his new...friend... in rhythm to the music? Hinrich found himself staring, even when the pair moved and he was now only seeing the back of the tiger's head, hovering above the badger as much as most of the others on the dancefloor at the moment...damn, he'd never even imagined that the tiger could be into crazy-dancing in gay bars...bah...not that he'd actually wasted a lot of time thinking about the tiger in general, considering he'd met him for the first and only time only a few hours previously, and he'd been so deeply entangled in his quest for coffee and phylogenetics that he hadn't really even had much of a mind to consider the arguably most hunkable tiger in the gay sense of hubba hubba hubba.
"Mein Gaydar shucks," Hinrich grumbled to himself, just because it seemed like the most reasonable assumption to make now...never picking up the really good ones, he sighed to himself, and propped his muzzle on a paw while he watched his new co-worker and daydream make his moves on some damn twinky badger who did nothing to deserve the attentions of such a tiger except wear some artistically torn hotpants and thought that made his ass look great. Hinrich wondered if his ass looked great...maybe he could take a glimpse at it on a mirror at home...maybe stuff a toy in it...he'd been around the block a few times...have his own fun if everything else failed. A nice plug and...
Even in his daze of alcohol and music being played too loud he could see the tiger's glimmering eyes, like beacons, fixed on their one target in the little dark booth, the non-descript red panda sitting there along, clutching his glass, while the tiger held the badger, obviously entranced with their dirty dancing, eyes closed, holding his position while the tiger kept his prey at bay...and smirked.
One, huge, massive smile, aimed directly at Hinrich, before his huge, dirty tongue slipped out of his muzzle and licked a clean strip over the black one running clean across the badger's head, obviously marking him as his property...
Hinrich stomach seemed to implode - he felt like swallowing and throwing up simultaneously, his unattended cock throbbed in his pants, and he held his breath - the tiger's obvious decadence and sheer dirtiness in his seduction made his skin crawl, and made him feel dirty in a very particular way, and he hadn't even ever been touched by the tiger, or...or...whatever. He couldn't stay here...he...he had to make a run for it, this had the potential to be very awkward, he didn't want that kind of a social entanglement or a mess in his life, he liked things easy and nice, he had to...
At least the...euphoric performance by the resident wind machine addict on the stage offered enough of a distraction for one red panda to slip out of the Puderraum without any further attention, to disappear into the night and make the short, tail-bristling walk through the cool autumn air to the very unromantic destination of the nearest bus stop.
"Dis vill not turn out vell," Hinrich declared to himself, feeling a soft drizzle begin to fall, even as he huddled in the bus shelter.
*
Thank you for reading!
I look forward to your feedback - and remember to tune in tomorrow for another chapter!