FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

You're gonna wanna read this first before you continue, unless you've already read it, in which case don't bother with it, and just read my story.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/547259/

Hope you enjoy both. :)

~

Life... there's not much I can say for it... I mean, I hate to be the depressing type, but it really sucked. I was an orphan from birth (the guy who ran the orphanage kept changing stories, from car crashes to unfit parents), I never made any friends at all when I was at the orphanage, and above all else, no one seemed to want me. The other kids ignored me, though I guess that was my fault... even the prospective parents not wanting me was partially my fault. Yeah it's a long story, but Hell I've got time...

I was five at the time. A small, bespectacled raccoon boy, blue in the eye, and brown on the hair. I was as young and innocent as ever. Back then I tried to be friends with everyone, and it generally worked. But all my friends were being taken away, replaced by other abandoned children, or just ripped from me without so much as a thank you card. I was getting desperate at that time, needing someone to play with. I made imaginary friends, basing them off of the characters in my dreams. We'd do so many fun things together after dark... we'd play tag, hide and go seek, touch each other inappropriately... I was five, how was I supposed to know that was wrong?

The owner of the place, a large ferret fellow, brought me in one day to question why I was being so unfriendly. I told him I already had friends. He of course asked who they were, and I told him:

"The people I see when I sleep."

He gave me a quizzical look and asked further questions.

"Sometimes I see them when I'm awake, too... but they're more fun at night. We play games and stuff. I even let them take my peter sometimes..."

As I fiddled with a small toy car he had on his desk, acting as if I'd said nothing out of the ordinary, he looked at me in a way that definitely showed how he thought about me. We never spoke directly again without a door between us.

After that day, none of the couples coming to see me ever seemed too enthused. It took me a while to connect these things, my telling him of my "friends" and the wariness of the parents. It was when I did that I really became a shut in.

I started shunning everyone, all my old friends having gone by then. My imaginary friends stayed, but they began to change...

I had two of them. They both looked mostly like myself, but with noticeable differences. The first was white and black while the other was black and white (where one was black, the other was white and vice versa). I myself was gray and darker gray, and their fur followed the same patterns as mine. They just looked like monochromatic opposites of each other, like a photo and its negative. This of course soon became quite appropriate.

To cut out some boring bits here, they were the proverbial "devil/angel on the shoulders", except they weren't just a figure of speech to me. I named them Cricket and Toad, though I'm not sure why on either account.

They told me to do things.

Cricket told me to be good and kind to folks, maybe go out and make friends even. You know, become sociable again. I could tell he worried about me a lot. Toad on the other hand, he would always take me aside and assure me that they were all I needed: him and Cricket. He told me as long as I listened to him, I'd always be happy. I liked how that sounded, but eventually he started to scare me. When lunch came around and every kid was given the same amount of food, Toad would tell me to take other kids' food so I could get full quicker. He told me they wouldn't mind, since it was going to a good cause. But Cricket was always there, telling me what was right from wrong. I should let them keep their food because otherwise it wasn't fair. Toad would say something about how I should get more food because I was better than them, but neither I nor Cricket agreed with that. I was just a kid like them, even if I was weird.

But there was always one thing Cricket couldn't fight back on. Masturbation. When I got to a certain age, I'd gone to the bathroom one day... I was doing my best to aim it at the bowl, concentrating on not splattering everywhere else. It took me by surprise when I started thinking how good it felt, touching my penis. Toad considered this and suggested I rub it a bit. Cricket started to protest, stating he had a bad feeling about it. I did too, but Toad had a point when he said it made me feel good.

So I kept doing it.

Soon, my knees buckled and I blew on the toilet seat. All three of us gasped, both at how awesome it felt, and the mess it was making. I took a second to comprehend how it felt before quickly grabbing some toilet paper and wiping it up. I ran back to my bed and thought for a good long while.

"Something about that REALLY felt wrong..." Cricket said.

"Oh come on! It felt good, right? Like our dreams at night, but better!" Toad argued.

"Yes, but that's just it..." Cricket thought he had something here, "Our dreams are more or less what got us where we are. We told someone about them, and it screwed everything up for us! All we did was TELL someone! This sort of thing we can actually get CAUGHT doing! It'll be a million times worse!"

Toad rolled his eyes. "You're so paranoid. Look, as long as we're careful, no one will EVER catch us. And as long as we don't tell anyone, nothing bad will come of it. We'll just keep touching our privates, and everything will be okay. It'll feel good, and it'll be okay."

Cricket couldn't argue. It did feel good, and he knew we could be careful enough to make sure no one saw us. And we knew better than to tell anyone else.

So, I kept doing it. At first it was just every once in a while, when I knew no one would be around. Then it was once every two days, regardless of the chances... then one day, and then twice a day... Toad kept saying it was worth it, and he'd keep watch.

And not only was I feeling myself, but I was also fantasizing. About girls I knew, about shows I'd seen on the TV in the play room, and most of all... about my dreams. I'd imagine Toad or Cricket fondling me and accidentally pulling my penis off, only to have it shoot off in their hand. Those times REALLY felt good.

Then, as I imagine you've gathered, I was caught. I was 13 and I was halfway through a good session when I heard footsteps.

"It's nothing, it's nothing!" Toad assured me.

But it WAS something. And that something screamed.

The woman of a couple had just walked in and seen me doing my thing. She was quite shocked to say the least. I too, was scared, and so I panicked. I pulled up my pants and ran crying out of my room. I kept crying and ran out of the building. I wouldn't stop crying and I ran down the street. I only stopped crying when the bus hit me.

~

It was hard to tell what had happened, but apparently I bumped into someone, tripped backwards over the curb, and became modern art on a paved canvas. I screamed, Toad screamed, and Cricket screamed, all for the split second before it connected. Then everything went. It didn't go black, it didn't go white; it just WENT. There was nothing...

... nothing except red.

~

My eyes shot open and I sat bolt upright. I was panting hard and my heart was beating at a million miles a minute. I felt all over my body to make sure I was still in one piece, or even still alive. I was happy to find out I was indeed still intact. I'd also figured I was alive somehow, but considering a small pair of horns on my head (which I eventually found), I had my doubts.

At that point, I noticed the room I was in. All red. Perfectly square, and all red. Like one of those commercials with the people in the all white rooms, but it was red instead. There was a light source in the room somewhere, but I couldn't see it. All I could see was red.

"Hello."

I lept three feet straight up from a sitting position, turn one hundred and eighty degrees, and landed on one foot, striking a defensive "Flailing Arm Fu" stance. What I saw was... oddly strange.

It was a three foot tall, dark red (yes red, as if there wasn't enough of that color there), female alligator. I wore a very formal skirt/suit combo, and had its hair up in a bun. It wore glasses that sat fairly close to the end of its muzzle, and its tail trailed out behind it, almost completely on the ground due to its short legs. Its arms were also a bit tiny, but they were big enough to hold a clip board and a pen.

"William Rourke, I presume?" She said in a deep and scratchy, yet somehow friendly voice. I blinked for a second as she looked up to me, her eyes catching mine. She repeated herself, louder and clearer.

"Uh, yes... yes, I am." I sputtered. I slowly got back to my regular standing posture.

She made a few marks on her clipboard before continuing. "I see here you've got a pretty mean masturbation streak going for someone of your age. Not good, not good..."

I started to cry again. How the hell did SHE know? In the back of my head, I noted that word down. I'd been wondering what the word was for what I was doing.

Almost immediately there was a clacking noise as a clipboard fell and then silence. I shut up quick.

She was hugging me.

She was standing just as tall as I was, rubbing my head softly, consoling me with her kind words, and she was hugging me.

I blinked. I blinked again. I had no idea what to do. I'd never been hugged before. I was almost totally in shock. But it felt so good. Not masturbation good, but it got my heart going and made me feel much better.

"It's okay, it's okay..." she said lovingly, "Everyone does it, little one, everyone does. It's not wrong, and it's perfectly normal. It's okay, it's okay."

I was calming down, but I still didn't know what to do. So, I simply backed away. She let go of me and smiled, radiating warmth and kindness as she did. Again, that bit in the back of my head noted that she seemed to be using her tail to prop herself up, artificially making herself taller. She looked really cute for someone covered in blood red scales.

"... I... I... what... why... ?" I asked with as little coherent thought as the sentence suggested.

"Because I care, Will." She kept smiling, and it kept making me feel better; more comfortable even. "I do, I really do."

"... who ARE you?" I asked. She thought for a second before answering.

"My name is-" and she made a horrible noise like ten cats horking up hairballs at the same time. I blinked at her and gave her a weird look.

"Your name is... what?" She repeated the sound and I shook my head.

"Yes, demon names can be hard to pronounce. Most mortals just call me Hairball. Not a very flattering name, but as they say 'a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'."

At that moment I realized that I had no idea where I was or even why I was there. I remembered the bus, but there was no way...

"Where am I?" I asked.

The alligator had gotten back down to her feet and retrieved her things. "You're in Hell, sweety. That bus made tomato sauce out of you."

I strongly considered crying again. My eyes welled up and everything, but something stopped me. I guess it was that I'd realized how crappy life was anyway. Like I said, I'd never been hugged before. Apparently it took life ending for anything really good to happen.

"... oh." I said. Then I thought for a second. She answered before I could ask.

"You're here because God thinks you've been bad. But don't worry, he's a very clouded furson." I noted the pun, but reacted little.

She took this time to explain to me the whole history of what was and why it was the way it was in Heaven and Hell. About how God banished Satan, and about how Satan took matters into his own hands. And over all, how Hell was not a place of torture for many, but a place of little or no worry at all. She told me about the Naughty level and how its inhabitants never felt pain or anything like that, and how anyone and everyone need not worry about what everyone thinks of them, because everyone's okay with things.

"Clothes are optional on the Naughty level. Which reminds me, if you're not okay being naked, you might want to make some." Hairball pointed at me with her writing utensil and I finally looked down, seeing my exposed fur.

In a flash, my hands were in front of my crotch. I was blushing horribly, and I couldn't stop grinning like a sheepish idiot. I needed some frigging clothes!

"If you're so embarrassed about it Will, just make some clothes." She continued to write on her clipboard.

"Okay, but how???" I asked.

"Just think about wearing clothes. A favorite pair of pants and T-shirt, maybe. Doesn't matter really."

I tried it. I pictured some of my favorite clothes appearing on my body; a blue Tee and a pair of jeans to match. But nothing happened. I kept trying, but every time was a failure.

"Okay, this isn't working! Any more advice, Hairball?" I tried not to make it sound like an insult, but how can you with a name like that. She understood, thankfully.

Hairball looked up at me and stroked her chin. "Odd," she said, "Usually when you picture something you want, it appears... curious..."

She walked around me, looking me up and down. My tail twitched nervously as I continued to hide my bits.

"Let's try something else. Make a bed appear." She suggested.

I gave her an odd look, but decided to give it a shot. I pictured a nice bed appearing in the corner. Then with no special effect or anything, one just appeared. I blinked and looked at it, realizing that it was in fact a very comfortable looking bed. Two comforters on a silk sheet, with a nice, fluffy pillow to lay my head on. The frame was very intricately built with dark, but soft lacquer. Designs were etched into it with what would have been a very delicate hand had anyone actually worked on it. The bed knobs were my favorite part, as they were all little cartoony squirrels in mid-dance.

Needless to say, I was quite impressed with myself. I forgot completely about my nudity and walked over to it.

"Wow..." I admired the make of it. It just looked so utterly impossible to turn up. I really had to try it out. So, I hopped up and sat down, immediately thanking myself for doing so. A smile swept across my face as I laid down on the bed, cuddling the pillow.

"You make good beds, Will. Very good beds." Hairball was feeling one of the comforters and nodding in approval. "Also," She said, "The fact that you were able to create a bed but no clothing makes me wonder if you really WANT any clothes at all."

She looked me deep in the eye, but not in an accusing way. It was a very friendly glare, one that said 'come on, Will; I swear to all the powers that be that I won't make fun of you or judge you at all.' I considered the question and looked down at myself.

"Well... no, I guess I don't, really. I guess they're not really necessary." I shrugged and looked at my cute little package. Then Hairball surprised me by giving my balls a pat! I jerked back in reflex and she smiled a bit.

"Yeah, you'll get used to that. You've got a cute little crotch, there. Most kids your age do, before they drop and all." She kept writing as if this was normal talk. I gave her a really weird look before looking back to my junk. I noticed I was getting a bit hard, but that didn't seem to matter that much. I calmed down a bit, figuring 'hey, it felt good... and I guess it's normal."

Hairball jotted a few more notes before dotting something and declaring she was finished. Well, almost.

"Now, I've just got to take your heart." She held out her hand and I looked at it.

"Wait... won't I need that?" I asked warily.

"No silly, you're dead! Dead people don't need hearts. Besides, you can't feel pain anymore, remember? Just pleasure."

I considered it, but I was still rather doubting. Mind you, she hadn't lied yet, so...

I hopped off the bed and stood in front of her. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Then there was a sharp feeling of pain? No... of nice, warm comfort that flowed into my chest. It spread out a bit before stopping and subsiding a bit. I opened my eyes and saw Hairball holding my still beating heart out in front of her. She sniffed it before walking towards a newly formed door in the wall. As she did, I looked down to see a perfectly circular hole leading partly into me. There was no blood or any guts in it, just pink.

"Hey Hairball!" I called, "What do I do with this?" I gestured towards the hole in my chest.

"Just imagine it healed up, and it'll go away." She stopped before turning around and smiling, "And just so you know, that works with your WHOLE body... if you find yourself injured, you can just reheal it. And you'll only be damaged to the point you want to be. Want see guts and blood? Then you'll see guts and blood. Don't? Then you'll see something else.

This is Hell dear; ANYTHING is possible." She winked before turning away. She quickly raised a claw, remembering something. "Oh, and before I forget, you can just sleep in that bed tonight. You'll wake up tomorrow in your proper room, which you'll be able to do whatever you want with when the time comes. Okay, sweety?"

"Uh, sure... "I was busy watching the hole in my chest shrink, but I caught most of that.

"Alrighty. I'll see you soon then, Will." I said see you later as she left, taking my heart with her.

As I sat back up on the bed, I got to thinking about what she'd said... anything was possible... I could heal anything... anything...

Something in my head clicked. If my heart had been attached still, it would have been pounding. I could do ANYTHING, and it would feel GOOD.

I knew what was going to happen. I knew that Toad was going to pop up any minute now and go crazy with me, taking over as he sometimes did when I knew I was alone. He'd make me do anything and everything he could think of, only interested in making me feel good. And Cricket wouldn't be able to do a damn thing since he couldn't argue that we'd be caught or anything. Hell, Hairball would probably JOIN me. I quaked, awaiting his arrival.

... but he never came. Neither Cricket nor Toad appeared at all. I was all alone, my only friends (though fake) were gone. At first I was a bit sad, but then I realized I'd finally be able to do what I chose to do, not what I was argued into doing. I sat there on my bed, tail twitching indecisively. I considered experimenting with myself, testing my pain limits. But I wasn't sure if I should. I judged the pros and cons evenly, eventually deciding on a compromise. I would do one test and see if it worked. From there, I would just go to sleep and wait until tomorrow to see what it would bring.

I looked down at my penis and coaxed it out of its sheath. It poked up fairly readily, knowing what I wanted to do. I was truly going to test the limits of this place.

I was going to pull it off.

I grabbed hold of my little guy and started masturbating slowly, working my pace up until I was really tugging good. My mind was racing with anticipation, imagining what it would feel life if suddenly one of my jerks would jerk it right off...

... and then it did.

With a cute little popping noise, I toppled backwards onto the bed, spooge splattering me in the face and behind me. I spat a bit out of my mouth before actually tasting it, realizing it wasn't that bad. I smacked my lips before doing a double take at my left paw.

It held my disembodied dick, dripping with cum. I looked in happy shock at my ball sac, seeing only it and my sheath. My penis wasn't there, simply because it was sitting in my hand! And it was still hard as Hell itself! I brought it up to my face and looked at it, sniffed it, and even licked it. This sent a shiver up my spine as I realized I could still feel it, as if it were still attached. I licked it again, feeling the same thing. I went so far as to even stick it in my mouth, sucking on it like a warm sausage. I slid it back and forth, tickling it with my tongue. As I racked my body with these new sensations, I reached climax again. This time my jaw clenched shut.

My eyes shot open as my mouth was filled with a second blast of semen. My left eye twitched merrily as I realized what I'd done this time: I'd bit my dick in HALF.

I pulled the bottom half out of my mouth and stared at it, noticing it did indeed look like a warm sausage. It was a pinkish red color, but it had the right shape at least. I swallowed, sliding the top half of my dick down my throat almost by accident. Again, it was still sending pleasure signals. I quickly sent the other bit down after it, my tail trying desperately to wag under me. As I felt it going down, I felt another sprouting out of my crotch. It was like I had a never ending supply of penises! I was elated! I giggled happily as I crawled under the covers, snuggling a plushy that had just appeared. I'd had my eyes closed at the time, but if I'd opened them, I'd have noticed then a plushy that looked like a white and black version of myself. On its belly, there was a zipper, which one could open and turn the plush inside out, making it black and white. It was, in all intents and purposes, the mentally safe version of Cricket and Toad...

... I slept VERY well that night.

~

I awoke the next morning some what surprised by my surroundings. At first it was because I never remembered having a bed that comfortable. Then I remembered dieing and was confused why I was back in my room at the orphanage (plus the bed, of course).

"We brought you to your room, if that's what you're wondering." The now familiar voice of Hairball said from behind me. I turned and greeted her with a smile, "It's exactly as you remember it, but with the extra addition of your own creation." She walked around the bed, feeling the wood and blankets. "Honestly, I'd tell you I'd never seen a better bed, but I have admittedly seen one... but I've never seen one quite like this." She petted one of the bed knobs and found that it reacted to her touch, but only for as long as she was touching it. She blinked a bit in surprise before smiling widely and scratching the wooden squirrel behind the ear. "Never mind. This IS the best bed I've seen, and these squirrels make a wonderful touch."

"Yeah, I just kind of thought of that. Just popped into my head as you touched it, and I decided to use the idea. I think it's cute." I tickled the belly of the one nearest me and it giggled in a slightly splintery way.

"A good idea indeed." Hairball nodded in appraisal before getting down to what she'd come for. "So, are you thinking of altering your room at all? Or would you prefer to keep it as is, for memory's sake?"

I hopped off the bed, absently grabbing the Cricket plush as I did.

"Well, I never really had many good memories of that place, to tell you the truth... so it might be best to change things around a bit." I held up the plush and looked into its plastic eyes, hoping to get a reaction from it. I shook it a bit, but it didn't seem to do anything.

Noticing this, Hairball interjected, "Ah, the plush. Now, we knew all about you as you were in life. We knew you were having problems with your 'friends'. They were honestly beginning to take control of you and your decision making process. The powers that be here in Hell took it upon themselves to relieve you of this hardship, but in a way they thought would be best for you. You still have your friends, as you'll notice that plush is reversible, but now they don't talk. They can't make decisions for you. You'll have to do it yourself."

I remembered the thing from the night before with the penis play and nodded. It must have slipped my mind, I'd guessed.

"Yeah, it's probably better this way." Hairball nodded in agreement.

"Did you have anything in mind for your room, Will?" She asked.

"Yes actually... I saw a painting once and I think it'd be fun to live in a somewhat simpler version of it." I grinned and put my hands up like a conductor. I made a bunch of wild gestures and the room started to move a lot. After a few minutes, it was beginning to take shape.

To describe it lightly it, it was very... Escher looking. I was still standing in a bedroom, but only the floor appeared to fit that description. The bed was there, as was a dresser. But only the wall to my left, there appeared to be a living room complete with a couch, entertainment center with TV, various video games, a DVD player, and a lamp or two. On the wall to my right was a bathroom with toilet, sink and bath tub. In front of me was the kitchen wall (complete with fridge, stove, counters with drawers and cupboards, a few other appliances, and even a black and white checkered floor). Behind me was a rec room of some kind with a ping-pong and pool tables, a dart board (which was technically on the bedroom floor), and an exercise machine thing. And finally, the ceiling had the most mind bending thing of all on it: a small, in-"ground" pool. Even though it was above us and upside down, it refused to let go of its water. I also noticed that it had a few pool toys here and there, which I smiled at. Hairball was also enjoying this.

"I've seen folks do rooms like this, but the pool on the ceiling is definitely new." She looked around and pointed out a possible flaw, "So, how would you get to each 'room' in here? Are you gonna make doors, or would you just walk up to the wall and just keep going?"

I thought about it for a second. "I think it would be easiest to just walk to the wall and have it pull you towards it like a magnet or whatever. It's simpler than having to deal with doors."

She nodded again, "Good, good. Now that we're done with this, are you ready for your first day of school in Hell?"

I was confused.

"School?" I asked, "In Hell? Heck I never went to a school in my life! I just taught myself with the books I found."

Hairball chuckled a bit, "I know you did. But we find that a child learns best when surrounded by his or her piers. School would definitely be a fun thing for you, especially with your biggest barrier cleared away."

I looked at her, confused by what she meant, and possibly very shocked at what she may have been talking about.

"You mean... ?"

"Remember what I told you before? All the people here are very open about their fetishes. Yiff in public is as common as fire hydrants! And fetishy stuff runs almost literally rampant around this place! Non-evs eating people whole or in pieces, restaurants where people cook other people so even more people can eat the cooked people! It's an amazing place, to be honest." She looked almost proud.

I was lost in thought, imagining all the sexy stuff going on outside. I felt my heart pounding and figured I must have regrown it over night. I was living in a world where people would except my strange fantasies? And maybe even (dare I hope)... participate??? I had a heart attack on the spot, but I barely noticed. My mind and tail were both going a mile a minute. I had to venture out into that wonderful world!

... but how?

"Uh... I just noticed something," I said, "I forgot to put in a door..."

Hairball laughed as i if it was a pretty good joke. I was confused again, but she explained.

"We don't need doors here, William. We use portals for getting around. If you want to go somewhere, either say the name out loud, or imagine it in your head. Then a portal specific to your personality will open or become apparent to you, and it will take you there."

"Ah, I see. So, where am I headed?"

"You're going to Brent Desner's School of Mischief." I giggled when I realized what the acronym would have been for that.

"Alright, thanks a lot Hairball. I hope I see you again some time!" I grinned as a door appeared behind her. I guessed that was her portal.

"And I hope to see you soon as well," she grinned, "Maybe even romp around in bed a little. You're smaller than the folks I'm used to, but I bet you're just bursting with energy!"

I giggled at her and waved. She blew me a kiss and walked out.

"So, all I've gotta do is say 'Take me to Brent Desner's School of Mischief' and-" before I knew it, a large, round, green pipe looking thing sprouted out of the wall in front of me. The inside of it led to darkness, but I knew where it went anyway. It was obviously a Warp Pipe from the Mario series, but I still thought it was clever.

I walked up to it, jumped on top of it, and it gently sucked me in, making that iconic "glug-glug-glug" sound.

~

As I popped out of the pipe's other end, I saw a nice sized public school with a flagpole in front of it. It has quite a number of windows on the front of it, and each showed rooms with vague shadows moving about. The place itself radiated an almost palpable feeling of fun, and I felt almost electrified by it. I just had to be inside that building.

I took not two steps when I heard a slightly familiar tune in my head and four kinds ran by. The first two were a bat and fox, both leaping as they ran. The fox boy ran smack dab into the flagpole, crushing his face in around it. As he peeled himself off of it, the other two ran by. Both of them were girls, but one was a hyena and the other was a multi-colored cat. The cat was holding a cardboard sign that read "Go Read Bartleby's Tales!" with a smiley face beside it. As they ran by, the fox boy pulled his face out of his head and put his grin back on. He looked back, got a surprised look and ran off after the others.

The next person to run guy looked to be a grossly overweight security guard with a butterfly net. He stopped, shook his fist and yelled "Err, yous kids get back heres! I needs to catches yous and takes you back to, uh... that place!" He then continued to bound on after the kids, bobbing back and forth.

I was dumbfounded for a second, but I shook my head and got on with what I was doing: Going to school.

I walked in the doors and noted how it looked exactly like I pictured a school to be. Neat, tidy, and with doors periodically popping up along the long hallways. I started walking before I realized I had no idea where I was going.

Then, as if reading my mind, a sign popped out of the ground. It pointed down the hall in front of me and simply said "This Way". Naturally, I followed it.

After two more signs, I found myself down the hall and two left turns past a bulletin board labeled "Albuquerque". I knew immediately why it was there. Not as a place to post things, but as a landmark What kid doesn't know to take a left turn at Albuquerque?

Anyway, I was standing in front of a door that looked like every other door in the place. It had no number, but it did have a name. It simply said "Ms. Nessy". I shrugged and walked into the room.

A hush fell over the class as everyone leaned back in their chairs, mouths covered in apparent shock. Even the teacher, a full figured elephant lady with shoulder length black hair and blue highlights seemed to be taken a back by my entrance. I looked around, searching for clues as to why these people were so shocked by me.

Then I noticed that everyone else was wearing nice, prim, blue uniforms. With ties and everything. The teacher's was straining against her naturally heavy curves, but it managed to stay put somehow. I looked down and noticed I was completely naked. As I had when Hairball had pointed it out to me, I immediately covered up my junk and went beet red. It was then that that famous line came to mind.

"Definitely shouldn't have taken that left turn at Albuquerque." I said allowed.

Then, as if that was some sort of secret code, everyone calmed down. Lots of people giggled and pointed, but somehow it wasn't in a mean way. I don't know how I knew, but they meant well by it.

The teacher crossed her arms and beckoned me forward to her desk. She'd been standing behind it, apparently about to teach a lesson when I came in. I stood before her and she smirked, not in a condescending way, but in a way that said "Welcome to the class. I hope you have fun!"

"What's your name, young lad?" She didn't have a Scottish accent or anything, she just used the word.

"Uh... William Rourke..." I waved with one hand and kept the other over my genitals, "The signs told me to come here."

The teacher smiled warmly and leaned down to my eye level. I stole a peak at her cleavage, as it seemed like a wonderful idea to me.

"Well then William, you're in the right place. But I am going to have to punish you for having come without a uniform." She stood back up and tapped a finger. "it's customary."

"To what? Punish new folks for disobeying rules they didn't know existed?"

"No silly," She said smiling, "to find a way to get new people into trouble so we can punish them and get them used to the way things are at our neat little school of mischief!" She opened her arms like she wanted a big hug. I turned the students and most of them were giggling.

"So wait, you're doing this on purpose? Isn't that a little unfair?" I asked. Ms. Nessy put her arms down with a huff. She pulled me closer and whispered to me.

"You met a demon, right?" I nodded, eyes darting from her face to her boobs, "And they took your heart away, right?" another nod, "So let me ask you: did it feel good or bad?"

"... good." I said.

"Good, so if I were to punish you physically, how do you think it would feel?"

I thought for a second before answering. "... good, right?"

"Right. So, don't look at it as a punishment. Look at it as a big facade of a hazing ritual. Yeah, you feel a little bit uncomfortable at first, being in trouble the second you walk in a room, but it's all for the best. It's just how we welcome new folk. We do it because we care, really."

She grinned and I grinned back. I backed up a bit and let my guard down, revealing myself to the class. A lot of the girls (and a surprising number of the guys) all stole a look at my tackle. I was noticeably stiff from the repeated cleavage staring, so they more or less had something to stare at. I was almost wanting to flaunt it then.

"So Will," she was back to her strict teachery self, "now that you know why you're being punished, care to take a guess at what your punishment will be?"

I thought for a second and shrugged. "A spanking?"

"Nope," I made a noise of mixed relief and dashed hope. I'd never been spanked, but U heard some people really liked it.

"No William, I'm going to take your penis for the rest of the day."

There was a second before it clicked as to what she'd said. When it did, my eyes went huge and I looked up at her with that "ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME, LADY???" Look. She smiled gently at me as my heart began slamming on my ribcage. Apparently it was just trying to pump more blood to my dick since it was now fully at attention. I made very little noise other than licking my now dry lips.

A few people giggled, but I could hear that slight sound of fur rubbing against chairs as their tails all wagged.

"You... y-y-y-you what?" I stammered.

"I'm going to take your penis for the day." She repeated. This time she held out her hand as if she expected me to do it right there.

"In... in ff-f-f-front of-f-f-f every-every... one? Here?" The last word came out so high pitched I swear only certain furs in the class could hear it. I myself was grinning a very nervously happy grin. This was a huge fantasy springing to life before me.

Ms. Nessy wiggled her fingers impatiently and nodded, "Of course, William. I have a lesson to teach, and I'd rather not skip out of the room for a simple punishment. Now please, hand me your penis."

I blinked a couple of times before looking down at myself. I was drooling pre just at the though of all this. I tentatively reached down to my stiffy, wondering if this was going to feel like it did last night. The entire class was leaning forward to get a good look at me and what I was doing. I could at least two or three of them making noises to themselves as they hammered away at their own genitalia. Apparently this was quite a show for them.

Finally my hand was wrapped around my dick. I jerked it once softly as if counting to myself, waiting for that mental "3" to give it a good yank. After about three more, I shut my eyes tight, gritted my teeth and just pulled.

There was a pop, and a thundering applause.

Screams of organs filled the room, and I only realized later that the loudest one came from me. My dick had fired off a load after separating, and it was all over the teacher's desk. I was panting hard as I opened my eyes and saw my trophy of sorts in my own hand, well above my head. People were clapping, congratulating me for hopping that first hurdle of student hood: the initial punishment. Some whistled, and others just licked themselves. I slowly lowered my dick to eye level and just stared at the pink hot dog that it was. I blinked a couple of times before handing it up to Ms. Nessy. She grinned and lifted her trunk. With little time and a cute sound like a golf ball getting sucked into a vacuum, she snorted my penis. She licked her lips before noticing the puddle on her desk. She ran a finger through it, examined it, then stuck it in her mouth. She nodded and commented approvingly.

"The first taste of new cum is always the best," she said, "but I always find myself wanting more. I look forward to teaching you, William."

I smiled and walked into the rows of fellow children.

~

I found an empty seat somewhere near the middle and noticed that most of the students had removed their uniforms. I asked an otter boy and he said that they were just for the punishment. People didn't have to wear them, and generally they didn't. Some did, but that generally coincided with a fetish or two. I considered that and looked back up to Ms. Nessy getting her lesson started.

"Now, it's a good thing you came here today Will, since we're starting on a new subject," She said as she picked up a piece of chalk to start writing on the board. "I am of course talking about..."

A few more strokes and the word was there.

"... vore." a lot of kids "oohed" at that.

She continued. "See, we all know what it is, and we've generally participated in a vorish act at least once before entering this room. But most of us don't know that much about it. The kinds of vore, the things associated with it like digestion and yes, scat." A few kids here and there whooped and whistled at that. "And of course how to do each one in a way that both partners can enjoy. Of course, that last one really depends on the people participating, but that's why I teach all aspects of it. It's always best to at least try to please everyone, and knowing how to is the first step in doing so."

She stood behind her desk and folded her arms. "So, who'd like to share their experiences in vore?" She looked around at the hands that shot up. She pointed the people out with her trunk.

"A snake ate me once. It felt awesome sliding down its throat!"

"My mom put her car keys too far inside her vagina so I had to crawl in and get them. I made her orgasm three times!"

"My friend dared me to crawl up his ass and stay there all day. I did, and he had to let me eat his balls, 'cause it was a dare and stuff."

"I went to that buffet place and ate this bat kid's legs once. He tasted great, but I was jealous 'cause I wanted to be up there myself again. I got to a couple days later, and I even ate bits of myself while I talked with people! I tasted neat!"

"okay see, this one time, Randy Beaman's cat ate this fish, and it was a piranha, and the piranha lived inside the cat for a while..."

"I let squirrels crawl around inside my penis. Feeling them playing around inside my crotch feels super great."

"Okay, I think that's enough for now. We don't want people cumming again before the lesson really gets going, now do we?" Ms. Nessy looked questioningly at the class and most of us shook our heads. I noticed that a lot of guys were sporting impressive woodies, and were absently massaging them. Even some of the girls were playing with themselves idly as they listened.

"So, we're all definitely familiar with the act. But can we all say we're perfect at it?" Everyone shook their heads, "And if we're not perfect, then we need to learn. And we all know there's only one proper way of learning something."

The class cut in as if right on cue: "BY EXAMPLE!"

"Exactly." Ms. Nessy made a motion to go with that that caused her assets to bounce. This in turn busted a button between her breasts that ricocheted off her desk and nailed some kid in the far left row right in the eye. He shrieked in surprise but giggled heartily soon after as he removed the button from his eyeball. Ms. Nessy had to stifle a good laugh as the the kid licked the button off and stuffed it in his desk, grinning.

"So, learning by example. That means I have to show you kids how it's done. So, who wants to go first?" Hands shot up all over the place. Anyone who didn't obviously wasn't into this sort of thing, but was anxious enough to watch anyway. "okay... Laibah. You can go first." She was a very pretty leopard girl who just happened to be wearing nothing at all. I got my first really good look at a set of female genitalia right there for the first time in real life. I'd have gotten really hard, really fast if I'd still had a dick. I thought about growing another one, but I didn't think it would be right considering I was technically being punished.

Laibah went up and stood beside Ms. Nessy and folded her hands behind her, her tail swishing back and forth.

"So, the first thing I'm going to teach you all is regular ol' soft oral vore. All it is is swallowing them whole through your mouth. Very simple, no frills, but very effective for getting someone off. The trick is to use the tongue on the strategic areas as they pass. Always treat your meal with the respect they deserve, unless they've requested otherwise before hand. If they don't want you probing their depths out of either uncertainty, or if it's just their preference, it's best to follow what they ask of you. Otherwise, just try and do as I do."

Ms. Nessy took Laibah under the armpits and lifted her up on her desk. As she noticed the remains of my puddle of cum, she said "oh, just a sec" as she sucked it up with her trunk. "There," she said, "we don't want you slipping and cracking your skull before we get to that unit now do we?" She grinned as Laibah giggled back.

"Now, there are different ways for going about this. If they happen to be the type who prefers not to be tongued too much, head first is probably best. That way you get all the good flavors without accidentally probing where you shouldn't. If they DO want a good tongue lashing, feet first is likely best, so you can get proper leverage on their privates, especially if they're female. Depending on your preferences, almost nothing feels as good as having someone bury their tongue completely inside you." She shivered lightly for a second, "Trust me. You find the right person who knows what they're doing, and it's like fireworks bursting in your crotch... and again, I'm sure a few of us know how that feels." there were nods and murmurs of agreement, peppered with "pow!"s and "Kabang!"s of people sharing stories.

I found myself just sitting there in complete awe of them moment. I knew I'd never been to school before, but I knew damn well it was nothing like this up top. The sex and nudity were obvious, but there was just an air to it that really got to me. It felt awesome, and as I'd predicted before entering, the atmosphere was electrifying. I felt like the Energizer Bunny, like I could run around in circles beating a drum for pretty much ever without tiring. I was hearing things I'd never heard before, and seeing things I'd never seen before. I was lost in thought as Ms. Nessy used her trunk and fingers to point out strategic erogenous zones and showing the class how each would react when touched. I knew I'd ever have seen this sort of thing if I were still alive, and I found myself thanking the bus driver who'd hit me for not paying attention to what he was doing. He was probably going through a hell of his own in court, but he didn't deserve it at all. No, in fact he'd done me quite the favor. I was finally in a place where I could truly be myself and be accepted. I was, in all intents and purposes, home.

A tap on my shoulder woke me up as the person sitting behind me tried to get my attention. I turned to look at them, and had a heart attack.

She was absolutely gorgeous; no other words could suitably describe her. She was the prettiest girl I'd ever laid eyes upon. Yes she was a bit over weight, and yes she wore glasses, but they were good things. She had a gut, but I could tell she carried it well and with dignity. And those cute little dark red rimmed glasses did so much for her face, especially as a compliment to her bright green eyes. She was a skunk with the poofiest damn tail I'd ever seen, even poofier than mine. It folded at the top in a very Pepe Le Pew, Fifi Le Fume sort of way, and her stripes accented her body with the effectiveness of a train hitting a child. I was floored by her appearance, and the fact that she was still wearing her uniform really, REALLY made her look great. She wasn't wearing it as a way to cover up, and one could tell this just by looking at her. She was wearing it because she wanted to. It just looked so comfortable on her. I easily bet myself that she took it off the moment she stepped in her house, but she just wore it here because people just had to compliment her on how it worked with her form. It hugged the curves she had (she wasn't the rolly polly jelly roll kind of over weight, but she did have a good bit of meat on her bones) and her skirt billowed out to accent her wide hips nicely. She visibly wore no panties underneath, and again that had to be a comfort thing. Mind you, she did have a strikingly cute little cooter. I know I'd only really seen two of them up to that point, but I knew I'd never see another that look so hypnotically attractive. And to top it all off, her scent was purely intoxicating. How I hadn't noticed it before I'd turned around was completely beyond me. She was heaven in my nostrils, smelling like fresh cinnamon buns and chocolate. I was almost drooling just staring at her. And I was at a complete loss for words.

But she had quite a wonderful way with words... her ice breaker was the best I'd ever heard in my life.

"Oh, sorry about that. If you smell cinnamon and chocolate, I just farted, hehe..." I blinked twice and burst out laughing.

Everyone turned to look at me, and I immediately tried to slink down out of sight. Even Ms. Nessy and Laibah (who were halfway through the lesson, with Laibah up to her hips in her teacher's lips) gave a quizzical look.

"Sorry guys, I farted again. He's new, you know?" This seemed to explain everything as everyone went back to their business. Some even leaned in towards her and got a whiff themselves, obviously a fan of her work.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and started to cool down.

"Wow... oh my god, WOW... that was too much... that was really too much." I took a few deep breaths.

"You okay now?" The skunk girl asked.

"Oh yeah, definitely. I'm really sorry. I just..." I stalled for a second but just figured to go with it, "I'm sorry, you're just really pretty, and you smelled great. I was completely awestruck until you told me that smell came from your butt."

She giggled before taking the compliment "Aw, you're so nice," she said, "yeah, I'm a skunk and all. Back when I was alive, people always shunned me because of my awful smell. But when I died, I found I could control my scent, so I just tried to make all my unfortunate bodily functions smell nice instead of horribly rank. I find that more people compliment me on my cinnamon poots than they did my poopy ones." She sighed, obviously remembering something. "but yeah, I just wanted to say hi."

"I smiled widely and waved at her. "Hi!" I said.

"Hello!" She said back.

"So now that you've got my attention, is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

She thought before responding. "No, not really. Just wanted to say hi and welcome you to the class. We just got done a whole lecture on what most figure our school's namesake to be. I ended up being tied to the ceiling upside down and had the whole class whipping me. Not really my thing, being dominated and what not, but it was fun having everyone in such a good mood." She smiled and I smiled back. That sounded really weird to me, but I was beginning to warm up to the odd stuff that was happening. Speaking of which, another kid was being called up for volunteering. I wasn't really paying attention, though.

"So, what's your name?" I asked.

The skunk girl immediately straightened up and cleared her throat, as if about to announce something of great importance.

"Dessirae Tesseract Titania Sen Timent." She finished with a practiced grin, "But everyone calls me Tess."

"Wow," I said, thoroughly impressed, "That's quite a mouthful."

"Indeed it is," she said, "I made it myself. My mom let me name myself after we died. She figured it was only fair since I wasn't really able to name myself when I was born."

"Well Tess," I said, "that's a very pretty name. You already know mine."

"I do, I do. William Rourke. Is that your full name?" She asked.

"As far as I know. And I'm not even being sarcastic. I'm quite serious."

"Oh?"

"yeah, see, when I was apparently given to the orphanage, that's all they found with me. It was a small, torn piece of paper with the name "William Rourke" on it. I guess they just figured it was my name, and wanted to respect the parents' wish and call me that. I figure since the page was ripped, maybe it's not my full name. Maybe it's like... Nathanial Buttersworth William Rourke or something."

Tess giggled at that. Her giggle was as uplifting as an elevator full of loving people who just wanted to hug you.

"Nah, that doesn't sound good to me... needs another R name to be honest... like... Reginald or Roger... it just flows better."

"Well, either way, I'm William Rourke as far as I know. I've lived with that name for years now, and I guess I've died with it." I took that as my time to turn around.

And nearly shit myself.

Right there in front of my face was a coyote kid's head sticking out of Ms. Nessy's ass as she was bent over beside my desk. The coyote boy shouted "BOO!" as I saw him and my heart started back up after stopping sometime earlier. Oh, and I screamed a variety of obscenities.

Everyone had a good laugh, including me and Tess. The class carried on like that, fun being had by all. A few more kids volunteered to be eaten, and they all got what they wanted. One kid even offered to eat Ms. Nessy, but she politely declined saying she had a class to teach (but to see her after class if he really wanted to give it a shot). All in all, it was a good class. I was laughing so much I'm sure I busted a gut at some point. But what I really wanted to do was see what Tess was up to after class. I'd never been particularly fond of anyone since Cricket and Toad, but for some reason, I was quite infatuated with her.

~

It seemed like forever (in a good way) until the bell rang for home time. I'd seen so many kids get eaten, I was almost willing to volunteer myself. It looked like a lot of fun, and I knew that was another of my turn ons. Ms. Nessy had spat out all the kids and the various genitalia she'd apparently taken before I'd gotten there. I made sure the one I got was mine and hurried on out the door after Tess, whom I'd seen leave just before me. I caught up with her quickly and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Oh hey there!" She said when she saw me.

"Hi Tess," I was blushing a bit, "hey, I was wondering... are you doing anything today after school?"

"Why? You wanna yiff a bit?" She said it like she was suggesting to come over for dinner.

"Er, no... not quite." I said nervously.

She made a pouting face and fake whined, stomping her foot and stopping where she stood.

"Aw, but I thought you said I was cute!" She stuck out her lip and crossed her arms.

"Well yeah, you are... it's just..." I scratched the back of my head in that way that seems to help pull words out and put them in your mouth. "I'd rather, you know... go to movies and get dinner together first... you know, like a normal relationship."

"In Hell, casual sex IS a normal relationship." She almost looked like she was trying to fake disappointment, but her tail was wagging.

"Okay yeah, good point... but I mean like, a regular boyfriend girlfriend thing. Like people did back on earth." I clenched my teeth and hoped to all Hell she'd say yes, though I'm not sure why I was so worried.

"Oh fine," she rolled her eyes, but couldn't suppress that ecstatic grin. She hugged me with her foot in the air behind her and I could hear the lightest of poots. She let go and excused herself.

"Awesome." I was slightly light headed, both because I now had my first girlfriend ever, and her smell was taking over again.

"But we're gonna have sex eventually," we were walking again, "you have no idea how hard it is keeping myself from hopping on your lap every time I see you pop a boner." She giggled and I looked down at myself. I didn't care, I just wanted to see if I actually was.

"Well if you weren't so gosh darn cute, I wouldn't keep getting them. And that smell of course..." I inhaled deeply and looked away a bit, slightly embarrassed that I was enjoying her poots so much. She caught this and immediately rubbed up against me, rubbing her scent heavy tail around me and flicking its end in front of my nose.

"Oh, you like how I smell, do you?" She was getting seriously flirty, and I could almost feel myself melting. My own tail was twitching madly.

I had a Goofy moment and uttered nothing but a dumbstruck "Uh, hyuk." She leaned in real close and tickled my chin a bit.

"Even if it comes from my bum bum?" She grinned seductively, and I did in fact felt on the spot. Within a second I was an amorphous puddle of raccoon on the floor. The only solid part of me was my penis, which floated along my surface comically. My eyes (which were mainly circular, though not quite solid) watched it float by and blinked once or twice. Tess giggled and turned, flagging her tail back and forth before dropping some unknown object. She made that high pitched "oops!" some girls do in a moment like that and exaggerated bending over to pick it up. Just as her hand touched the thing, her face scrunched up and I was blasted by a heavy trombone note with a gust of broken wind so strong, it blew me against the wall. I was now vaguely back to my regular shape, though my form was still rather droopy, especially around the mouth. It further emphasized my stupid grin by making it look all wiggle and unstable. Tess quickly stood back up and mocked surprise as she skipped over to peel me off the wall and get me back into shape. Once back to normal, I looked at her with that stupid look again, and she just giggled.

"You're so cute, Will," she teased, "Little pervert coony boy likes to smell my toots!" She covered her mouth innocently and giggled again. I just followed her.

You've gotta clear your head around her, man! I told myself in my head. I almost thought it was Cricket or Toad, but it was thankfully my own thought. I considered it for a second and took just as long to stop and shake the heart shaped cobwebs out of my head.

"You know Tess," I warned, "no matter how good you smell or how much I like it, you're gonna have to stop doing that. I'm not gonna be able to function with you breaking wind all the time."

"Or," she suggested, "you could just get used to it. I am a skunk, after all. I do what comes naturally to me, and farting is like, second nature to me. I can do it on command, but it's hard not to do it for an extended period of time. It just happens." She held my hand and pulled me along, leaning right up against me. "besides, you're new. I had everyone in that class room begging me to let them stick their heads up my ass when I figured out how to change my scent. Heck, Ms. Nessy threatened to never punish me again if I didn't let her bury her trunk in there for a while."

She sighed and rubbed her cheek on my shoulder.

"It feels good doing things I was so horribly shunned for in life and not having to worry about people thinking it's gross." It was at that moment that I really think I connected with her. I mean, I loved how she looked and adored how she acted, but it wasn't until then that my love for here was truly complete. We both knew what it felt like to be shunned for things we couldn't control.

"You know," I said, "I know exactly how you feel, Tess." She looked up at me in an inquisitive manner. "I was also friendless for reasons I couldn't help. I told the man who ran my orphanage that I had dreams about my imaginary friends stealing my penis. I told him I liked the dreams." She gasped in an empathetic way. "I told some other kids too, not knowing what they'd think of it. Eventually it got me the cold shoulder from everyone I knew, so I just accepted that as the norm and never tried to make friends as I got older. I lived my whole live in that orphanage... no parents would take me. It always felt as if that guy had told them all that I was a gross pervert and to not take me."

I frowned a bit, but Tess' supportive cheek was right there to rub it back into a smile.

"Oh Will, I am right there with you on that." Her eyes were closed, but she didn't look as down trodden as I did. "When I was alive, I stank heartily. I couldn't control my farting and it almost never stopped. I was forced into a special education class because the teachers and kids complained that I was disrupting their learning. It took my parents two days to pull me out of school and start homeschooling me, which I much preferred. I didn't have many friends, but at least I was somewhat happy. And I got to spend the day with the people I loved."

We were at the door, so I pushed it open. There were bundles of students standing out there talking, conversing over plans for the afternoon. Every once in a while, someone's portal would open and a group would be off to do their thing for the day.

I sighed inwardly, knowing that Tess may have had it a bit better than me. She at least had someone to love.

"I can understand now," she said, "why you'd rather date me than just go and have sex. You didn't have parents OR friends like I did. I don't mean to pick at a possibly fresh wound here, but that couldn't have been a good thing for you, and I feel like I want to do something about it."

I leaned my head against hers as it was on my shoulder again. "Thanks a lot, Tess," I said. I gave her a kiss on the top of her head and she smiled even wider.

Then suddenly, she got an idea.

"I know! She lit up like a Christmas tree and got me to stand back. "We're gonna go to my place for the day. I've gotta ask my mom something."

She closed her eyes and raised her arms for a second. Then she brought them in front of herself and closed her palms. She waited exactly four second before opening her eyes and palms again. When she did, two plants sprouted from the ground about five feet apart and started growing up and forming an arc. As they met, they would down and around each other, creating what looked like a nice sized door frame. Many little flowers were popping up along its length and making it look awesomely pretty. It had a light sent of lilacs, but that was secondary to its general appearance. Tess looked over to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me through as the portal appeared inside the floral framing.

~

We came out on the other side into a rather quaint looking house. When I turned around to look at the portal, it was withering away to reveal no front door. That made sense, since there really was no need for one. Portals made things like that pretty much obsolete.

The house itself was fairly regular, though it had the bouquet of cooking hamburg all through it. I figured Tess' mom must be making some burgers, or maybe even spaghetti. Tess led me down a short hall beside a flight of stairs (to the left of the stairs was a front room, while to the left of the hall was a coat closet) and into the kitchen where her mom was.

First thing's first, her kitchen was quite large. Well furnished and well kept, with stainless steel pots and pans hanging above a large island in the middle. It had burners on top of it, even though there was a stove with plenty of them against the wall. There was also a large fridge and an impressive microwave beside an equally impressive sink. Somewhere between the sink and the stove, Tess' mom was hard at work with what appeared to be a wok.

The second thing was Tess' mom. She wasn't a skunk. In fact, she was a very curvy bunny woman. She wore a tight T-shirt (which seemed somewhat lop sided for some reason) and a nice pair of jean shorts that her upside down heart shaped tail topped nicely, like a cherry on a sundae. She was all white, and her ears drooped back to follow her sandy brown hair. She had really long legs with a body to fit them, but I couldn't see much of her front since she was turned away from me. Her feet were pretty big too, though that's to be expected considering she was a rabbit.

"Hey mom!" Tess waved to her mom's back.

"Hey sweety!" was the bouncy return. "You want burgers today, or something else? I've got the meat almost ready here to be added to whatever it is you're in the mood for."

"Burgers, thanks. Oh, and I brought over a friend!" Tess smiled as her mom turned around.

I was mildly shocked (I'd seen some pretty weird stuff, so I was getting a bit desensitized) when she did. First off, she only had one breast, and it was on her right side. Secondly, her face was strikingly attractive. Big blue eyes and a muzzle almost as cute as Tess'. She waved and said hi before going "Oh, I might have to make more meat..."

She deftly reached an arm up into the front of her shirt as if she'd done this sort of thing a million times before. There was a popping noise as she removed her boob. She then stepped on some hidden lever and a meat grinder appeared behind the wok. She pressed her boob into the top of it and it whirred to life, literally making mince meat out of her breast. As it came out, it landing in the wok with a sharp " pssssssssssss" sound.

"Dear, could you take care of this while I introduce myself?" She asked, looking over her shoulder and started poking at her uncooked breast meat.

"Sure thing mom," she walked over and hopped up onto the counter, "But he's not too big on the whole sex thing, Might want to skip that part of the introduction." Her mom made a "hmph" noise, but only in a joking manner. She then turned, walked the few steps over to me and squatted down to my eye level. Her shirt was loose now, considering it didn't have anything to hold it out, so it sagged a bit. She held her hand out for a shake.

"Samantha Byron, at your service." I took the hand and shook it, giving her my name. She commented on how cute it was.

"Thanks." I said. "Hey, I noticed you were cooking, uh... your, uh..."

"He's new, mom." Tess was busy tending to the now sizzling tit bits. Ms. Byron's confusion abated quickly.

"Oh, I see. Well, let's just say it's a common thing around here, breast burgers. I was never one for cooking in life, but when we came here and I found out I could cook myself rather than some poor defenseless animal, I figured I'd give it a shot. I quickly found this was a great way to do things." she shivered a bit, "You should give cooking a shot if you ever get the chance. It's quite stimulating, if you get my meaning." She nudged me with her elbow and wiggled her eyebrows in that Groucho Marx way. She then stood back up and went to help her daughter by making patties out of any of the fully cooked meat she could get. Tess made a comment about how she should be careful or she'd burn her hands and they had a good laugh at that.

Once all that was done and the patties were in the stove for further preparation (seasonings and such were added first, of course), Ms. Byron had grown back her boobs and all three of us were sitting around the island on wooden stools.

"So," I said, "I don't want to ask any awkward questions, but are you two really related by blood, or are you Tess' step mom?"

"No, no, I'm her real mom." Sam said.

"I get my skunkiness from my dad." Tess confirmed.

"Oh. Where's he?"

"He went to one of the lower levels, actually." Ms. Byron furrowed her brow, thinking back to something, "As it turned out, he was a horribly disgruntled furson when it came to his past. So disgruntled in fact, that he sought to erase it as best he could. He killed a few of his old classmates for making fun of his smell, and was on his way home (drunk from celebrating) when he hit our car with his truck. Killed the three of us. We were pretty shaken up initially, but that was years and years ago. We've gotten over the trauma and what not. The one thing I'll never understand how he was such a model father around us, but was really a cold blooded murderer."

"But don't get him wrong," Tess said, "He was the greatest dad ever. He'd do stuff with us and things and was always there for us. I just guess it was because he looked at us like a new beginning and wanted to be fresh and new. I think he went and killed those people 'cause he didn't think he could have a proper life without it."

"The devil I talked to back then said not to bother waiting for him to come back any time soon. She said that being such a great father would bump him up a level or two maybe, but he was going to be down there a good century or two to make up for his murders. They also understood why he did it, but the people he offed had really turned their lives around and were actually really nice at the time. We actually met a few of them and had a nice party. But yeah, I'm over the whole thing. I'll take him back when he comes back of course, but that's a long, LONG way down the road."

She nodded and blinked, thinking about something. I myself was a bit taken aback by this information. I was going to say sorry, but neither of them really seemed to care that much. I guessed they really were over it, but I was going to need another minute or two.

We had great meal and some equally great conversations when the food was ready. Tess told her mom about me and her going steady, and she thought that was really cute, abstaining from sex and all that. I complimented Ms. Byron on her cooking and how well she tasted. She thanked me and asked how I was getting along down here.

"Oh it's great fun!" I said. "Much like Tess here, I'm finding that my being shunned up on earth has no grounds down here. I was made fun of for my strange, budding fetishes, but EVERYTHING'S okay down here! It's great! My teacher even ate my penis today!"

"Oh is that so?" She said, "I've had many a parent teacher interview with Ms. Nessy. That trunk of hers is quite skilled in the ways of pleasuring herself and others."

"Oh you bet!" Tess piped up, "I can't count how many times she's let me ride that thing in front of the class while she read stories. She let us all take turns, so I guess I'm not unique in that way, but it was still great fun."

We talked a bit more about random things, but soon we were finished eating. We all sat back and just mellowed out for a bit. Then I had an idea.

"Hey, can I stay over here with you guys tonight?"

"I don't see why not," Ms. Byron said, "Actually, you have your own room, right?"

"Yeah, technically... it's a weird one with a lot of things in it, but yeah, it's a room."

"Then why don't you come upstairs and we can fix you up a door. That way, you'll technically be living with us."

"Are you serious??? I can live with you guys???" This came completely out of no where for me. Yeah sure, we were all clicking as a sort of family, but I wasn't expecting this. Tess was clapping at the idea and grinning widely.

"This is awesome! I just got a boyfriend today and he's already moving in!!!" I hopped off my stool, ran up to Ms. Byron and gave her a huge hug, and Tess joined in as well. I then quickly went to the staircase and the other two followed me up. Ms. Byron then took the lead as she knew where everything was. She came to a blank spot in the wall and surveyed it.

"You like this spot?" she asked.

"Sure, I'll take anything!" She went back to another door and it opened into a closet. She pulled out a door knob and closed the door. She handed the knob to me and told me what to do.

"Just put the knob at a comfortable height on the wall and picture your room in your head. Then just simply pull, and a door will appear and open."

"Cool!" I held the knob at chest level and did as I was told. Soon enough, there was a nice door that was leading right into my room on the floor with the bed. Tess and her mom looked in and admired how it looked.

"Wow! Your room has a pool on the ceiling!" Tess said.

"Hunh... my room's just pink. This is really clever, actually." Ms. Byron nodded and squinted at the kitchen on the one wall, noting the size comparisons to her own and how mine lacked hanging things and a nice island.

"Thanks you guys." I said. "Well, I'm gonna hit the hay. Big day tomorrow and all."

"You mind if I sleep with you?" Tess was getting all touchy again. I was getting weak kneed.

"S-sure you can. That'd be great." My voice broke on the last word, making Tess giggle and Ms. Byron go "Aww, that's cute." She wished us good night and we both got into bed, Tess stripping quickly before popping in beside me.

"I promise not to play with you while you're asleep," She said.

"Thanks." She scrunched up her face and let a big one rip. I caught it immediately.

"But you're fair game as long as you're awake, so you best nod off fast!" I giggled and we had lots of fun. No yiffing, though. She respected that I didn't want to, though she managed to touch me in a few places, just to tease me. All in all, it was very tiring, but completely enjoyable. We fell asleep in each other's arms, snoring and snoozing to the gentle scent of cinnamon and chocolate.

~

END OF PART ONE