My Life Inside Janine Lancaster
I was going through some old files, and I came across a story I had written many years ago to commemorate and work through some of the emotions attached to my relationship with a certain young lady. I wrote it shortly after she passed away. I had deleted most copies of it, and was surprised when I came across it on a disc. It's been several years now, and reading the story got me pretty emotional, so I decided to translate it into yiff and post it. It may be a litle rough, and it slips from present to past tense (though I assure you that is intentional), but I think it came out alright.
This is a sort of macabre love story... there is indeed sexually explicit content within, but it is scattered about; there aren't any 6-page yiff scenes like in my other stories, but I find that the romantic and emotional element more than makes up for it. Also, I feel obligated to point out that the name "Janine Lancaster" is something that I completely made up... so if any of you out there are reading this and happen to be named Janine Lancaster, rest assured, it's just a coincidence.
This story contains scenes of heterosexual intercourse, post-mortem depression, the consumption of alcohol and illegal drugs, and a few scenes that some may construe as suicide attempts. If any of the above mentioned topics offend you, or you are under 18 years of age, please do not read this story. Otherwise, enjoy!
I love these old videos... sometimes, on late nights like these, I like to watch the dirty ones we made together. You weren't exactly shy, you know.
Yeah, I remember this one... when we came back from North Bay. You're wearing that sexy blue sundress... the very sight of it takes me back. The warmth of your fur, and that fragrance... you always made me so horny in that sundress.
I'm sliding my firm paws up your smooth, tender thighs... the fabric of the dress rides up from beneath my touch. You are moaning softly, calling out my name. I feel you through your panties... you wanted it so badly, then. Do you remember?
The muscular black panther moans softly, laying back against the sheets as the television plays before him an erotic scene from his past. He slides his broad paw down the front of his pants, and begins to fondle himself through his underwear as he softly calls out her name.
My god, you're beautiful... you have no idea. The look you gave me then, with those deep blue eyes of yours... I run a paw through that soft, short black fur about your tender feline body. I remember this part very well... when you begged me softly to take you, over and over again. I remember the shudders your body made as I teased you with the head of my dick. You made me feel so dirty... and I loved you for it. She can't be real, I'd often insist to myself... the sensations were just too perfect. When I am inside of you, Janine... well, I can't quite explain the way it feels, but when I am inside you, I am home. I suppose that's the best way to put it.
He sits up upon the bed, his large, semi-firm cock in one hand. He sighs... his erection is fading fast as the two furs on the television screen continue to engage in intimate foreplay. The panther scoots to the edge of the bed, hops off, and pulls his pants up. He kneels before a small table, topped with a large bottle of bourbon and several joints, one of which has been dipped in embalming fluid. He sighs worriedly, massaging his sinuses with a steady paw.
"Janine..." I call out your name once more. Wouldn't it be great if you could answer me? If I could but hear that voice one more time, from outside the confines of this stifling cognitive cage. The bed is so large and empty without you. Sometimes, late at night while I sleep, I roll over onto your side of the mattress. Sometimes I wake, and I swear I can smell your perfume on the pillowcase. I sleep with the night light on... the one we bought together... because when I wake in the middle of the night, I half expect to see you there beside me. And I would die before I would miss the chance to gaze once more into that heavenly visage. Why... why did you have to leave so soon?
The panther takes bottle in hand, doing his best to restrain the tears as the room is filled with the soft and pleasurable moans inherent to one of the finest memories of the young adult's life. He tilts back the beverage, guzzling for several labored seconds. The sustained gurgle is soon followed by a slam as the bottle is replaced, half empty, upon the table. The panther coughs and groans, reaching for the fry stick. He lights it up casually, inhaling deeply and leaning back against the foot of the bed. Soft billows of white smoke issue forth from his nostrils as he takes a long drag. His pupils dilate as the smoke pours from his mouth.
"Aahhhh..." moans the panther, as he relaxes his muscles and gazes up at the ceiling. He continues to smoke for several minutes. As the ashes pile up in the tray, the soft moans from the video tape become closer and clearer. She is right beside him now. His heart is racing. He takes a swig of bourbon before lighting another joint. As he smokes, he fishes around in his left pants pocket... there they are; Janine's prescription. There should still be some left.
The pills dance about inside the plastic orange bottle, causing a soft commotion as they are lifted from the pocket. A tear glides down the panther's cheek as he places the joint in his mouth and opens the bottle. He proceeds to wash down several pills with another swig of bourbon. He can almost smell her now...
He puts the roach out quietly, hopping backwards onto the bed. He feels nearly weightless... his head is swimming in a fog. But his senses... the smell, the sound, the vivid colors before him... there she is, larger than life and begging for his touch.
"Janine..." I call out your name once more. You answer me with a soft moan.
"Ohhh... Jack..." she moans, "fuck me harder!"
"Yeah, you like being fucked by a big dick, don't you?" teases the panther from onscreen as he fucks the slender black cat.
He slides a paw once more down the front of his pants, gripping his large, long erection tenderly. He moans as he watches himself make love to the woman of his dreams. Only this time, he can feel it... he can smell the scent. He can nearly taste her touch.
"I love you," the cat pants breathlessly from onscreen as the deep penetration continues. The panther onscreen is silent, save for a few errant grunts. Why had he not answered her?
"Love you, too," he mutters from the bed as he sinks deeper and deeper inside himself. The sounds dry up and the colors fade as his eyelids grow heavy. He drifts seamlessly into a dream-filled slumber.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The panther bolts upright, awakened by a deafening thunderclap that sends a violent shudder through the entire house. He hears the sound of his television cutting off as the power goes out; the entire house is pitch black. He can hear the sheets of rain battering the house relentlessly. His heart is racing.
A soft brush against his arm... tender, steady footsteps start at the foot of the bed and continue swiftly through the room. The scent of her perfume hangs drearily in the air.
"Janine?" he mutters, his eyes wide with disbelief. A flash of lightning illuminates the room; the door to the bedroom is open, swinging lightly on its hinges. Windless whispers assault his ears, trailing from the stairway as the ghastly footsteps continue down to the lower level of the house. The storm rages outside, blanketing the house in an unrelenting celestial maelstrom. Realization sets in, freeing the panther from his addled torpor. He leaps eagerly out of the bed. Is he dreaming? No... this is too vivid, too real. Panicked, he drives a claw into his forearm. The thunderstorm continues to rage outside, illuminating the room once more in a flash of light. Traces of his own blood upon his claw... the shooting sensation of pain, dulled somewhat by the drug haze that has gripped him so tightly. No, definitely not a dream... not this time. A hollow cry from the kitchen downstairs sends a chill down his spine. He races for the door.
A flash of lightning illuminates his path down the stairs. He storms down, aided by muscle memory, steadying his frantic steps by gliding a paw along the handrail. He hears the unmistakable sound of the refrigerator door opening from down the hall; a small bastion of light springs up in the kitchen.
It's you... it's really you! You've come back to me, Janine. Please, don't leave me again... either stay, or take me with you this time. I can't live like this for one day longer... your absence is quite literally tearing me apart.
The thoughts pour from his subconscious, rattling around within the confines of his brain. He holds his mouth shut, fearful that any sudden speech might dispel whatever enchantment had fallen over the house. He slowly creeps up into the kitchen and peers inside; another crash of thunder resonates through the house, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. He can hear himself breathing. He enters the kitchen; everything looks normal...
His senses are alerted by the sudden smashing of glass before him. He jumps back, casting his eyes to the floor. The glass lies in shards about his feet, and the footsteps continue. Drops of blood form along the floor, following the footsteps to the far end of the kitchen. He hears the hollow cry once more; the light of the refrigerator goes out. He whispers her name in the dark despite himself. He can hear her collapse nearby... he can hear her labored breaths as she suffers in tremendous pain. The panther instinctively fishes into his pocket for the orange plastic bottle... it is not there.
Another flash of lightning illuminates the room. The panther's eyes dart frantically about; the glass shards have vanished, and the refrigerator door is closed. The trail of blood, however, remains... leading to the far end of the kitchen, where a large, hideous stain of the viscous sanguinary fluid is splattered across the floor. The panther cries out in shock, moments before the room goes dark once more. He can hear her sickly coughs echo through the air. The home phone rings... but there are no lights. The panther groans, gripping his sinuses and staggering back. The icy sensation of terror that has embedded itself deep within his heart drives him to action. He punches himself forcefully in the forehead, desperately trying to drive away the demons... but the ringing continues. Groaning in pain, he blindly makes his way to the phone and picks it up.
"Hello?" he inquires hesitantly. Nothing on the other end but sharp, shallow breaths. "...Janine? Where are you?" The breaths stop; silence. "Janine!" he calls out into the phone, tears welling up behind his eyes. The silence on the other end is broken by that singular soul-shattering sound... the flatline of an EKG machine. The tone is faint and far off, but it is unmistakable. The panther bursts into tears, leaning heavily against the counter with the phone to his ear. He was going to lose her again. The sounds of rain and rolling thunder fade; his head swims as his mind frantically runs about in reverse, filling him with visions that blur the boundaries between past and present.
"Oh, god, it hurts so much!" the cat cries out from the corner of the well-lit room. She is collapsed upon the kitchen floor, curled up into a fetal position and clutching her stomach. A pool of blood grows steadily beneath her, pouring out from between her slender legs. The panther's fingers twitch nervously as he furiously attempts to dial for help; it takes him a few tries. Finally, he gets an answer.
"Oh, god, make it stop... make it stop!" the young woman cries out in utter anguish.
"Hold on, Janine! I'm getting help..." the panther insists, turning away from the phone briefly. He turns his attention back to the person on the other end of the line. "Hello?" he asks in an unsteady voice. A pause. The cat begins to sob audibly, still clutching her stomach tightly.
"Unngh..." she mutters, shutting her glazed eyes tightly. She feels as though she may pass out from the pain. She can hear her husband talking in a frantic tone nearby... he sounds a million miles away. "Jack... please, hurry! It hurts..."
"My wife is dying!!" he shouts angrily through the phone. Frustration overcomes him as he is barraged with more superfluous questions. He angrily slams the phone down upon the counter. "Fuck!"
A loud crash of thunder snaps the panther back to attention as he drops the now silent phone to the floor. The phantasmal tone of that horrid machine haunts the deepest regions of his mind as the panther stumbles in the dark. He feels around with his paw until he comes across the drawer he seeks; he pulls it open and begins to fish through it. Seconds later, another flash of lightning illuminates the room, and he finds himself face to face with Janine... her disembodied head floats in the air before him. Her eye sockets are eerily hollow, and her jaw hangs open lifelessly. A soft, feminine moan issues forth, followed by a billow of putrid smoke. The panther's blood freezes as he cries out, curling his paw into a fist as he falls backwards, landing hard upon his back. He cries out in anger, his pulse racing, his head throbbing. The room goes dark once more as the vicious storm rages on outside. Standing up, the panther's ears perk up as he hears the familiar jingle from within his grip. Lightning illuminates the room once more; Janine is gone, but the bloodstains remain.
"I'm coming, babe," he mutters, clutching the keys tightly. They feel cool in his hand... just as they had on that fateful night. The panther rushes frantically through the house towards the garage, aided by the occasional flash of lightning. He reaches the garage and places a paw upon the vehicle... it is clean and cool to the touch. As a flash of light fills the room, the panther marvels at the astonishing black and silver upon the antique automobile. He had not started it up since that night... too many terrible memories. But he needed it now, as he had needed it then... needed it for its intense speed and power. He hurries around the vehicle and opens the garage door. As the panther enters the automobile, the panther makes sure to keep his eyes away from the backseat; he knows that the bloodstains are still there. He had been meaning to clean them, but had never been able to bring himself to do it. The engine springs to life as he starts the car. He flips on the headlights and buckles his seatbelt.
The tires screech in protest as he begins to pull out from his driveway, out into the torrential downpour. He is immediately soaked by rainfall. Glancing up, he notices the sunroof is open... he fiddles with the controls, eventually successfully closing the hole and sealing the vehicle. He shakes water vigorously from his face as he peels out of his driveway. The storm rages on mercilessly... the sky is filled with black clouds, and the sheets of water upon the windshield hamper his otherwise perfect vision. He speeds off in the dark, his mind set on that singular destination. As he flies down the empty street, his eyes glance into his rear view mirror. His blood runs cold at the sight of his wife, curled up in the backseat of the car and sobbing softly. She is soaked in blood from the waist down. She holds up her paws before her; they too are matted with her own blood.
"Jack!" she cries out, utterly horrified. "I'm scared..."
"Hold on!" he cries out as he sharply turns a corner up ahead. The road is straight and narrow before him... he had been too slow, that night; he had not made it in time. "Not tonight," he mutters to himself. He refused to lose her a second time. He increases his pressure on the accelerator; the needle climbs past 80 as Janine's voice can be heard from the backseat.
"Ohh, god," she cries out wistfully. Her tone is drenched in misery as waves of stark realization sicken her raw, aching stomach. "Jack... the baby! The baby! Oh, god..."
"We'll be there soon," he assures her through his tears. "Please, stay awake!"
"I'll try..." she sniffles through her own tears. Sobs wrack her slender frame as she shudders violently. She bites her lip, desperately trying to distract herself from the intense pain as she focuses on remaining conscious.
"Janine..." he responds, glancing once more into the rear view mirror as a flash of lightning illuminates the night. She is gone; only the bloodstains remain. "No!" Headlights spring up before him... the opposing car's horn snaps the panther to attention as the lights quickly approach. The panther swiftly maneuvers the steering wheel, narrowly avoiding the collision. He slams his foot down upon the accelerator, driving it down into the metal beneath. The tires squeal as the needle approaches 100. "Hold on, goddamnit! Stay awake!"
"Jack, slow down!" she cries concernedly from the passenger side. The panther eases off the accelerator as the antique automobile speeds down the road. It is a bright summer day, and the panther is smiling wide.
"Oh, come on, babe. There's nobody around,"
"Is that any way for a father to behave?" she replies sternly. "You're going to be a parent soon. I don't want to have to worry about you, Jack."
"Don't sweat it, Janine. I don't plan on allowing that runt anywhere near this car. It's not safe, for one, and there's just not enough room." The cat purrs lightly, laying her head upon her husband's shoulder.
"...And he might scratch it," she adds playfully.
"That too," he replies with a smile.
"So I was thinking about names..." she goes on. The panther groans in protest. "Jack, we need to talk about this sooner or later! What do you think about Kyle?"
"Naw," he replies. "I used to hang with a guy named Kyle back in high school. He was a total dick. What about Bobby?"
"What if it's a girl?" she asks softly, her eyes shut as she purrs in delight, snuggling up against him. "What do you think about Sally?"
"Your sister?" he replies in shock. "You can't be serious!"
"Jack!" she replies sternly, lifting her head from his shoulder and casting him a stern glance. "You know very well that my sister's name is Sally May."
"I always thought having two first names was stupid. Please don't tell me you're planning on giving our child two first names."
"No... just Sally. I think it's pretty. Don't you?" The panther draws a long, steady sigh. His eyes gaze inward as he eases further off the accelerator. Guilty memories from long ago shift through his mind as he turns the words over in his skull.
"Maybe," he replies uneasily.
"We can pick another one, if it makes you uncomfortable." The panther reaches over and scratches the feline lightly atop the head. She lays her head upon his shoulder once more, prompting him to throw a strong arm around her shoulders. "I want to make sure that we pick something we both like... even if it takes months." The panther cringes slightly at her words... but he is so very happy to hear the sound of her voice.
The car shudders violently as the panther hits a pothole in the road. The tires lose their grip, sliding swiftly to the left. The panther quickly regains control, maneuvering the wheel as he struggles to see through the unrelenting rainfall. Another set of headlights quickly passes him by. He looks to his right... the passenger seat is empty.
"Goddamnit!" he cries out angrily. The needle continues to climb. Shouldn't be much farther now. As he absently guides the car, his addled mind drifts away once more.
"Marry me," the panther stammers. An expression of surprise spreads across Janine's face, causing the panther's gut to fill with regret. Several silent moments later, the cat's sapphire eyes come alive, and she smiles wide.
"Oh, Jack!" she cries out happily, jumping towards him and throwing her slender arms around his broad neck. He catches her in the air, holding her up by her thighs as they share a passionate kiss. Several moments pass as the two lovers' tongues playfully wrestle one another. Pulling away from the kiss, the panther is treated once more to that heavenly visage... Janine's unmistakable seraphim stare.
"Is that a yes?" he asks with a smile. He was still a bit nervous.
"Of course I'll marry you!" she cries out in delight as her long, slender tail wags about happily. "Oh, Jack..." she cuddles in close, feeling utterly invincible from within the embrace of his strong, muscled arms. She lays her head on his shoulder as he carries her upstairs effortlessly. As they enter the bedroom, she playfully shuts the door behind them. They spill out onto the bed, laughing lightly. She snuggles in close and speaks lightly into his ear.
"Jack... you have no idea how much I care for you."
She maneuvers her slender hands downwards and begins to undo his belt. His heart is sent aflutter with anticipation. He clutches her tenderly in her arms, fondling her through the thin fabric of her dress. Jack Lancaster smiled contentedly... he was going home.
The panther cries out in anger as his foot digs down into the accelerator. Tears blind his eyes as the storm asserts itself with unrelenting fury. A tremendous clap of thunder tears mercilessly through the vehicle, deafening the panther as a jagged bolt of lightning touches down no more than a mile off. The very elements themselves rise up against his pursuit... but he refuses to stop, refuses to slow down.
"I changed my mind," he mutters through his tears as he speeds down the road. "I think Kyle's... just fine. Let's name him that, okay babe?" His eyes grow vacant; his insides feel hollowed out... but the fire burns hotly in his veins nonetheless.
"How could you do this to me?!" he demands angrily. He is seated across the table from his wife, who has her head buried in her paws. She is sobbing quietly.
"I... I'm sorry," she whimpers. "It's just... with you shipping out and, and..."
"I never thought you capable of something like this, Janine. I have to say, I'm fucking floored. Do you hate me that much?"
"No!" she cries, lifting her hand from her paws. Her face is matted with tears. "I was scared! I just... I wanted you so badly."
"You think I like being away from you?" he demands. "What I do, I do for us. You know that."
"Jack..." she stammers. "please forgive me! I made a mistake, I know... I just... I love you so much..."
"How can you possibly say that?" he demands angrily, struggling to maintain his composure as he shoots up out of his chair. He glares down at her angrily. "How can you look me straight in the eye and lie to my face like that?" She simply places her head in her paws once more, sobbing. "...Who?" the panther demands at length. "I want to know his name!" he continues, slamming a fist onto the table. She shudders, pausing to collect herself.
"T...Thomas," she stutters. His eyes widen in rage. He cries out, grabbing a chair and flinging it against the far wall. The furniture splinters under the impact. The cat scampers out of her chair, huddling up against the corner of the room. She curls into a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably. "It's not what you think," she insists through her tears. "We... we were talking about you, and..." The panther stares at her with unbridled rage burning deeply in his eyes. "I'd give anything to take it back," she continues. "It was a stupid, stupid mistake... a mistake I'll never make again," she insists.
"You're goddamn right you won't," he shouts angrily, slipping the ring from his finger. Realization suddenly spreads over his features as he struggles to hold back his tears. "Is this about Sally May?" he inquires suspiciously.
"Sally May..." the cat replies, endeavoring to maintain her composure. She glances at her husband through her tears; he is holding the ring in one hand and absently thrusting a finger in and out of it, a look of anger on his face. Janine's eyes go wide. "You... you don't mean..." The panther nods angrily.
"Fucked her," he declares triumphantly. Janine's face contorts with renewed sobs. "How's that feel, huh?" he cries out, his voice booming from across the room.
"So... doesn't that make us even?" she replies after several moments, her tone saturated with desperation.
"No, Janine," the panther asserts. "This was years ago," he continues as tears roll down his face. "The whole time, though, all I thought about was you. I just wanted..." he pauses, gripping the ring tightly in his fist. "I wanted to explore that option before we were married." he concludes through his tears.
"Option? You make it sound so cold."
"When we took those vows, Janine, we promised each other our complete trust. No... I would never do what you have done. To do this while your husband is away, working hard to put bread on the fucking table... the guilt alone would tear me to fucking shreds," he shouts angrily. She is sobbing heavily, her head buried in her knees. The panther suddenly feels deeply guilty; he draws a long sigh, collecting himself.
He hates seeing her in so much pain... he wants nothing more than to run to her, to throw his arms around her and tell her that everything will be okay. But that wouldn't be honest... hadn't he promised to be honest? No... he could not betray himself like that. How... how could she? That fucking homewrecker, he thinks to himself. Next time I see Tom, I'm going to break his fucking neck.
Janine winces as the panther angrily throws the ring towards her. She ducks her head slightly as the ring impacts the wall a few inches to the left of her head.
"Janine..." the panther starts softly, his voice cracking underneath the pressure of his tears. "I will never forgive you for this." He turns silently, calmly walking to the front door. He leaves. Janine collapses entirely on the floor, sobbing violently as her entire world is torn asunder.
The panther belts out a deafening cry as the needle climbs even higher. The unrelenting tears sting his eyes, and the torrential rainfall pelts the car violently. His tires slide about, his car hydroplaning as he drifts off towards the edge of the cliffside road. He had come so far now... and he was so very close. He deftly maneuvers the wheel, pumping on the brakes. He manages to steady the vehicle. He cries out once more in anguish. The storm responds, shattering his concentration with a mighty thunderclap that seems to shake the entire car. His eyes grow vacant as he tears down the road.
A knock at the door. Jack sighs, rubbing his sinuses. He feels absolutely terrible; his insides feel empty, his heart hollow. He had stopped crying a good while ago, but the misery remains. He feels completely indifferent. The knock repeats itself, louder this time. The panther slides off the bed and approaches the door. As he opens it, his eyes widen in surprise. It is Janine; she looks absolutely miserable. Tears continue to stream down her face as she trembles, stepping back a foot. She is terrified of how he might react. Jack simply looks at her coolly and backs away from the door, motioning for her to come inside. She complies, hesitantly, entering the hotel room as the panther shuts the door behind her.
"How did you know where to find me?" he asks.
"I had a feeling you might come here," she answers through her tears. She sniffles a bit, regaining a good measure of her composure as she is assured that her husband's anger has largely subsided. The panther draws a long breath; he did indeed come to this hotel, and requested this specific room. This is where they spent their first night together. Upon leaving the house, Jack had wanted nothing more than to lay with Janine once more, in that bed they shared. But he couldn't go back... not after what he had said. Janine continues to shake like a leaf, her eyes fixed on the floor.
"Janine..." he starts.
"Jack..." she interrupts him, rolling her eyes upwards to meet his gaze. "...I'm pregnant."
His eyes go wide; his heart skips a beat. A cold tingle makes its way down his spine as his body shudders. He is speechless and dazed. After several seconds, he regains his composure and looks towards his wife, who is crying into her paws. She falls to her knees, sobbing heavily. He drops down to one knee and wraps his arms around her.
"It..." she continues, attempting to stifle her tears. "It might not be yours..." He hugs her tightly. She buries her head into his chest. He rests his head upon hers as he massages her back softly. She shudders as she cries into his fur.
"Janine," he starts softly. "you've got nothing to worry about," he continues, tears welling up behind his eyes. "We'll get through this, I promise." She continues to cry, pulling her head back a bit and looking him in the eyes. That look in her sapphire eyes... he would never forget it. The mild desperation mixed in with a spark of pure hope.
"Jack..." replies Janine, "I love you so much, it terrifies me. I... I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost you."
"I will never leave you," he whispers softly into her ear. They resume their embrace. Several minutes pass as their tears subside. "Did you bring the ring?" he asks softly. She reaches into her cleavage, pulling it out. He smiles softly in response, holding out his hand so that she may replace the ring upon his finger. She slides it on; it is warm to the touch. "I love you, Janine," he concludes, drawing her once more into a close, tender embrace.
The panther tries to cry out once more, but his voice is completely burnt out. Muttered, muffled, crackling whispers pour forth awkwardly from his mouth. He shudders; he is sobbing violently now. He knows that he is not going to make it... but he has to try. Maybe, just maybe... he is so close now, after all. The vehicle drifts lazily to the left, into the oncoming lane. As the panther speeds down the road, he is greeted by the headlights of a truck, which proceeds to sound its horn loudly as the two vehicles approach one another.
The panther grips the wheel firmly, preparing to change lanes and avoid the truck. The deep pit of sadness that had been festering in his stomach, however, infuses him with a sense of indifference. He holds the wheel steady, keeping the wheels straight as he barrels towards the oncoming vehicle.
"Come on, motherfucker!" he shouts out in a raspy, voiceless cry. His body relaxes somewhat, and he is flooded with a comforting warmth as he envisions the impending impact. It would no doubt be fatal. "Janine..." he mutters softly. "I'm coming home." The truck swerves at the last moment, narrowly avoiding the car. "Goddamnit!" he cries out in a choked, scratchy voice, slamming a fist forcefully upon the wheel. He speeds on down the road, nearing his destination. He shakes his head violently, trying to keep out the visions... but they refuse to stop, refuse to relent.
He is sitting down beside his wife, who is crying softly as she lies back in her uncomfortable hospital bedding. She trembles feverishly; her black fur has lost its sheen, and she looks quite pale. Her heavily glazed eyes seem empty as they gaze off into space. She is lying back, connected to several machines. The EKG nearby emits a steady pulse as Janine breathes shallow, labored breaths.
"Janine," he starts softly. He struggles to hold back tears; he wants to be strong for her. He leans in over her and grasps her hand tenderly... her paw feels exceedingly hot, as if it were aflame. Her eyes light up a bit, and roll up to meet her husband's gaze.
"Jack," she starts in a hoarse, choked voice. Her face contorts as she proceeds to sob uncontrollably. He leans in and pulls her into a gentle embrace. Her body burns hotly as she trembles in his arms. "I'm so scared..." she admits softly. She sobs against his fur. Her body is so hot... it feels as though it might burn him. He hugs her tight, desperately trying to figure out what to say. He wants to hold her close and tell her that everything will be okay... but he can't. He is petrified. She shudders violently in his arms, snapping him to attention. He leans in close and whispers in her ear.
"Janine... everything's going to be okay, I promise."
"I'm so sorry, Jack..."
"You've got nothing to be sorry about. We're going to get through this, together, okay?" he stammers, his voice choked. He is unable to hold back his tears; they begin to flow freely down his cheeks. "...Okay?" No response. And then he hears it... the soul-shattering, steady tone of the EKG machine. "Oh, god..." he mutters through his tears. She was flatlining. He shouts desperately for help.
"No..." he moans quietly through his tears. His face contorts as he sobs heavily into the wheel. The tires spin out, gliding upon the water as the car heads towards the edge of the cliffside road. He releases the wheel and buries his head into his paws. He had lost her again... he hadn't been fast enough. He had failed. Nothing more to do now...
The tires leave the ground as the car flies off the edge. A feeling of complete weightlessness surrounds the panther, who leans back and closes his eyes. His crying slows somewhat as he prepares for the impending impact. It would no doubt be fatal. His mind is calm, for the most part... but there is a small, stifled voice buried deep within his subconscious. 'Janine...' the voice cries out triumphantly, 'I'll be with you soon.' The visions assault him once more as he breathes deeply.
"Hold on," says Janine playfully. She grasps Jack's belt in one paw as she walks over to a desk and rummages about. She pulls out a camcorder and places it on the desk. The panther laughs from the bed.
"Naughty..." he accuses her playfully. She simply smiles back at him, her deep blue eyes shining softly.
"Action!" she cries playfully as she scampers over to the bed and dives into his arms. They laugh, wrestling about together, eventually locking lips in a passionate kiss. The fabric of her blue sundress rides up from beneath his touch as he slides his firm paws up her smooth, tender thighs. He feels her through her panties; she moans in response. He smiles to himself. She always made him so horny in that sundress.
He slips his pants and underwear down from his waist, and teases her with the head of his large dick, brushing it lightly against her pantied pussy. She moans in ecstasy. The two continue their foreplay, eventually stripping down to the nude.
"Take me, Jack. Take me... please..." she moans softly. She wanted him inside of her desperately.
Finally, the panther inserts himself, sliding his excessive manhood deeply into her pussy. She moans out, gripping the sheets. Feelings of warmth and perfection flood the panther as he smiles down at her. He begins to fuck her slowly.
"So fucking beautiful," he mutters lustfully. He brushes a broad paw up against one of her breasts, toying with the erect nipple. Her body shudders lightly in response. He continues to fuck her, gradually increasing the speed and power of his thrusts.
"Ohhh... Jack..." she moans, "fuck me harder!"
"Yeah, you like being fucked by a big dick, don't you?" teases the panther as he fucks the slender black cat.
"I love you," the cat pants breathlessly. The panther continues to fuck Janine, harder, faster. Moments later, the two are moaning out passionately, approaching climax.
He slams himself forcefully into her pussy, filling her with his member. They cry out in simultaneous passion as they climax. The earth opens and the sky splits. Jack finds eternity within this moment... this feeling of supreme, unmatched ecstasy. He is joyously content with Janine in his arms. Time stands still as he ejaculates. A comforting warmth washes over his body as he is embraced by feelings of serenity and perfection. He was complete, he was content... he was home.
The two are bathed in a soft white light. They pant softly as time proceeds and their climaxes gradually subside. They hug each other tightly... he is still inside of her. They do not speak; there is no need for words, no use for them... not here, in each other's arms. They understand each other perfectly. They are one. The warm light continues to bathe them as the panther feels Janine slipping away. His semi-limp cock slides out of her pussy, leaving him feeling incomplete and alone. She pulls away, and soon he is holding her by the hand. She continues to drift off into the light, pulling at his grasp. He finally lets go, and she fades away. He hears that awful sound then... the far-off, steady tone of the EKG machine. It resonates in his ears as the blinding light steals his sight.
All goes dark... the steady tone grows louder. Soon, it begins to pulse... the panther opens his eyes.
He is inside his car; it is completely wrecked. The loud, pulsating car alarm blares pointlessly as he squirms, pushing the airbag away from his face. He coughs into his paw. He holds his paw up before his face as lightning flashes. Two teeth, which had once resided at the back of his mouth, were now laying idly in his palm. He tosses them aside.
"Fuck," he mutters, squirming about. Sharp pain shoots up his left arm. He holds steady, breathing heavily. Another flash of lightning; he quickly checks his arm. Several shards of glass are embedded within his flesh. He debates for a second whether he should pull them out or leave them in. Images of the blood in the backseat assault his mind, and he ultimately decides to leave them in. Unfastening his seatbelt, he pulls his legs from the floor, maneuvering to avoid the twisted, jagged metal. As he turns to his left, the musculature about his back is punctured lightly by something he cannot see.
"Janine..." he mutters softly. He curls his legs back, bracing himself with his paws before forcefully kicking the damaged door wide open. The car alarm's sound distorts as it fades away. He climbs out of the vehicle and turns around. The car is horribly wrecked... it is definitely totaled. His feet sink slightly in the mud. The storm rages on; he is pelted mercilessly by wave after wave of freezing rainwater. The lightning and thunder intensifies as he turns about and proceeds onwards, desperately trying to assess his surroundings.
He pauses momentarily, leaning up against a nearby tree as he glances about. As lightning illuminates the vicinity, he recognizes the locale; it is the graveyard. He had made it, after all. Feelings of intense regret and sadness fill him, followed by a burning rage.
He stumbles, running forward through the rain. He begins to sob; he feels more and more empty with each step, and the torrential winds blow the rain into his face. He is soaking wet and freezing cold, and yet he persists, onwards and onwards.
After several minutes, his legs begin to burn from fatigue, and his arm and back ache. He stumbles, tripping over his feet. A tremendous thunderclap reverberates through the earth as he falls forward, face first. He catches himself on the stone, bracing himself with an unsteady paw. He shuts his eyes as his knees dig lightly into the earth below.
All noises cease, casting a profound silence over the panther's mind. All he can hear is the sound of his own breath. He slides his paw about the surface...
The stone is cool to the touch. Upon it is inscribed the name, 'Janine Lancaster.' But his eyes remain closed; he does not need to see to know where he is.
"Janine," he calls out softly, breaking the silence. There is no response.
Several seconds pass as tears continue to stream down his face. His heart skips a beat as the cold reality seeps into his sobering mind. He leans in close and pauses momentarily before lowering his voice to a whisper. He realizes now that he can never go home, ever again.
"I miss you."