Standard Equipment (Pundamentals 3)
If you haven't entered into the Back to Pundamentals Contest, now is the hour. This is my third and final entry. Happy groaning.
Rated "adult" for the "stonking greats" and other references.EDIT: I'm extremely proud and grateful to announce that this story won the Pundamentals contest! Thank you, one and all!
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The young Bengal tiger all but drooled over the images on the screen. Now, this was porn at its finest, and he was really happy to see it. He was likely to be cooped up in this Alaskan observation post until Hell froze over, or the Chicago Cubs took the pennant, whichever happened first. He wouldn't be within range of a female for so long, he'd probably end up having to marry his own paw.
What he really wished for was some (ahem) "erotic" material more aimed at his particular fetish. Not that he wasn't attracted to anything with the proper female equipment. But there was something about feathered females that drove him nuts. Birds, pegasi, sphinx... oh, and a nice set of knockers, big dirty pillows, well-developed bongos, stonking great TITS...
He shook his head sadly. If only this website had someone who could point his throbbing cursor in the right direction. He decided to try the "Help" button, just to find out.
To his surprise, a chat window opened. "How may I direct you?"
The tiger's tail flitted briefly, decided he might as well take the chance. The typed in: "I'm looking for a particular type of female."
"Specifics?" asked the reply.
He hesitated. "Large breasts."
"Might wanna narrow that down. Anything else?"
"Feathers."
"Oh, they're my specialty... one moment..." Only seconds later, the tiger found a link on his screen. "Click that. The chat window will stay open till we close it."
His free paw moved almost without his thinking, and the screen that popped up (just as he did) was filled with images, the likes of which he'd rarely seen in one place. Females, gorgeous females, with bodies like you wouldn't believe, and feathers, feathers, feathers ... contour and flight, covert and pinion, downy and semiplume, every one of these fine babes had_feathers!_
After a moment, he remembered the chat window, and his manners. "Thank you! These are perfect!"
"Glad I could help."
"I never knew a porn site to have a live guide on it."
"Oh, it's a new standard now, particularly for my specialty. I can aim you directly for the feathered, big-breasted babes. I call it rack-and-pinion steering..."