Love and Denial
#1 of Love & Denial
Warning: this story contains slight male on male love don't read if you don't like the subject. I got this idea while just sitting around in my room thinking of what I can do today. This whole thing took me about 2-3 hours to write up so I don't expect it to be perfect or all that good, but R&R if you want.
Love and Denial
A slight breeze swayed through the trees as the heat from the ground rose to meet the tired form of an exhausted cheetah, he had ran from his supposed friend's house all the way to the edge of town as fast as he could. He had to get out of there from what had just happened. He wasn't sure as to why he felt like he did or as to why now, and on the eve of his wedding to the female that he had spent the last year and a half courting and dating, but as he ran and stood there the emotions coursed through his head made him that much more angry at himself for letting this bug him. He had to get through this. He had less then ten hours to the wedding and he started to feel like he had cold feet for the first time in his life. Was he really going to back down now? Or will he ignore the feelings he put aside for his friend years ago when he left for college in a different state. He couldn't understand that after all that he had: the money, the security at his job, and the girl he had forced himself to court to get over the friend that he felt betrayed him by leaving so long ago. He wasn't sure he should even let the cheetah come to his wedding now. He wanted so badly to go back and hurt him for doing this to him, leaving, letting him grieve, and forcing him to move on without knowing what he had in store for life. He didn't need this not now, once he finally had someone his parents liked and was going to finally get over this emptiness inside him. After about ten more minutes, he sighed and decided to go back to his apartment and try to get some rest before the wedding.
With his thirty minute walk back to his apartment to think about his life since the leaving of Shawn, Seth just thought out to himself. Why did he kiss me? Is he trying to ruin me again? I just wish I hadn't kissed back... What will Sarah say if he shows up? This all has been accumulating since graduation... Graduation, he hadn't thought about that painful day in a while, almost a year to be exact. There they were, listed up in alphabetical order Seth being just before Shawn in the line as he stepped up onto the stage as Senior class president and Shawn as his VP. Not knowing that Shawn had a last minute gift for him.
"Seth I have something for you" whispered Shawn, "Come see me after graduation at my car I have it all ready for you." The cheetah thought he caught a blush in Seth's face when he said that, they had been friends since being on the student council together for the last year. "You okay bud?" asked Shawn quietly as they sat down in synch with every other graduate.
"Y-y-yeah.... I'm fine." Seth said in a shushed voice looking out of the corner of his eye towards Shawn still with his blush before returning his gaze out into the crowd of mixed matched animals of every kind. Avians, Felines, Canines, and reptiles were the most dominate with a few others scattered out in the bunch (including his at the time boyfriend). When Seth got up to speak all ears were focused on him with his usual calm enthusiasm shot by the excitement from the day he first let out a high pitched hello then calmed down when everyone laughed, He addressed the faculty then the parents, and finally the rest of his friends and classmates, when he finished there wasn't a dry eye in the house so to speak.
When everyone got up and received their diplomas and stood up to sing their high school Alma Mater, they tossed their caps up and slowly walked out of the gym that housed the graduation Seth headed eagerly to see what Shawn had for him. Upon his arrival he saw that Shawn's car was all packed with his stuff and started to get worried. Was this really his last time seeing Shawn? Or was he just pulling one last prank on him. He leaned against the back bumper and waited patiently for him to arrive and when Shawn stepped up he smiled and offered a hug to his pal. "Hope you didn't wait too long for me?" asked Shawn headed for the passenger door and grabbed something from inside.
"Not too long Man, but I was wondering about the packed car" Seth pointed behind him "I noticed you have most of your stuff in there, you headed somewhere?" Seth asked as he followed shortly behind Shawn to the shotgun door.
"Yeah about that....." Shawn said with a bit of sorrow noticeable in his voice. "I have been accepted into Duke for their football team. I start next week for practice. Sorry to have kept you in the dark Seth.... I really appreciated your friendship over the last year." He said turning around holding his varsity jacket. "I want you to keep this as a sign of our friendship."
"WHAT?! You were just going to up and keep me in the dark till just now after this year changing my plans to go to college at Yale just so I could be closer for you and our friendship?!" Seth yelled as he clenched his fists glaring at Shawn with unknown reason for all this anger. After a little bit of an awkward silence Seth calmed down "I'm sorry Shawn that was uncalled for... I appreciate your gesture of, its just I thought you could tell me most anything since we were best of friends."
"I didn't think it would matter for me leaving to go to such a place. Your friendship means a lot to me Seth that is why I kept quiet till now, I wanted to see if you could take a hit like this and know that we will still be friends. I'll call every week I can if not once a month, just to catch up with you bud." Shawn slowly handed the jacket to Seth as he shed a silent tear watching his secret love walk around the car and drive off leaving him in this god forsaken town. That was the last time I saw him in just over three years. I have since been trying to get over him leaving but seeing him today was just too much. Since then as well I have sworn to never love another male like I loved him hence me and my soon to be wife.
When he got there he saw the one person that he didn't want to see standing at his door step. "Well finally, I have been here for about an hour now Seth, I need to explain my actions, please let me speak." The shorter cheetah said, looking as though he had been crying just recently and blocked the door so Seth couldn't get to his apartment without speaking to him. "I need to ask you, do you really love her? Or was it just my imagination playing a trick on me when I kissed you and felt that hunger being returned?" the shy cheetah asked as he blushed and looked down after meeting the confused look on Seth's face.
"I can't answer that.... Please just leave me alone Shawn." Seth said as he tried to force Shawn out of the way but failed since he was much less weaker than Shawn. Shawn just kept asking the same two questions from Seth wanting answers from him or at least a reason to let him be alone.
"Shawn please I need you to get out of my way... I need into my apartment." Seth said with a slight weakness in his voice as he started to tear up. Trying to hide his eyes from Shawn, he pulled the varsity jacket that he was given by the same cheetah that is standing right in his way; Seth was long since wanting to talk to him that whenever he would ask the same questions over Seth just replied with the same statement. This went on for about three to five more minutes before Shawn decided to ask something different.
"Seth, answer me this and I will let you into your apartment. Why did you keep my jacket for all these years?" Shawn inquired as he looked up into Seth's eyes again this time not looking away.
"Please don't make me answer that...." Seth said quietly and slightly cold with some hatred for leaving all those years ago. Refusing to budge an inch Shawn just asked that same question again this time with more firmness. "Do you really want to know why I kept this jacket Shawn, do you?"
"Yes I do!" exclaimed Shawn with some hesitance in his voice looking into his friend's eyes with fiery determination. With a sigh Seth decided to answer the question but first asked if he could at least answer it with the two of them sitting down in his apartment. Obliging Shawn let's Seth open the door to the cool apartment room, slowly entering the familiar room Shawn once again asked, "Why did you keep my jacket that I gave you at graduation when I left for college?"
"Because no matter how betrayed I felt when you left for that university, I.... I .... I...." stammered the cheetah as he looked between Shawn's gaze and his body blushing harder and harder. Starting to feel slightly lightheaded from embarrassment, he sat down on the chair he was so familiar with from sitting there for a few weeks of loneliness.
"Why Seth?! Why did you keep it?" said Shawn as he started to get fed up with the stammering.
"Because I love you Shawn! I always have!" exclaimed the cheetah slightly louder than necessary due to his nervousness and anger. "From the day I met you I have been secretly in love with you... When you went on to play college football and left me here for Duke I was heartbroken that I spent days here on this very seat just curled up in your jacket missing your scent, your voice, and your personality. And when you kissed me just a little bit ago I felt that fire blaze with a frightening heat that made me scared and I just had to run. I am completely and madly in love with you Shawn don't you see why I acted the way I did when you left me there standing with your jacket?"
"Seth, I was young. I wanted more out of life than just me being tied down so fresh into the wonderful world that was football and after three years of being away I started to feel like something was missing. I didn't realize it at first but the one thing I was missing there was you.... I came back to see you and only you!" Shawn said as he knelt down at the side of the chair that Seth was in placing a paw on Seth's and gazing into his eyes there in the dark room where the only light was from outside the windows. "I was a fool back then thinking my only love was for football, I was wrong. The only reason I did so well in high school was because I had you there as a great friend and from what I didn't see a passionate fire in my soul, I was too stupid to admit it then and hope that you will let me make it up to you...."
"Wh-what?" Seth was a bit taken back from this unexpected reply to his confession, "Shawn...." Seth whispered as he started to tear up and grasped Shawn's paw and started to stand up looking into the cheetah's eyes as he pulled him into a hug tight enough to make him slightly gasp for breath at first.
"I mean it Seth, I love you more than anything, I realize that now..." Shawn said as he returned the hug and was lead back to Seth's room where about half way he stopped and asked "Seth, where are you taki...." Shawn was quieted by a passionate kiss from Seth, slowly returning the kiss he embraced the cheetah and lapped lightly at the lips for entrance into the muzzle he was locked against. Seth slowly opened his jaw to greet the tongue of his not so secret love when it slowly slid past the barrier of yellow and black furred flesh. The two stood there for what seemed like an eternity in their minds just locked in their first kiss as lovers but certainly not the last.
Well there you have it. My first story for Yiffstar please R&R. I want to know if this is worth continuing for public review.
More to come when I get the chance to sit and write it.