FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Larceny Olympics

Grey skies gently release rain on the streets of London. In the hallowed halls of Scotland Yard, an impatient Carmelita Fox paces in a break room. Every now and again she goes to a dart board, pinned to which is the smugly smirking visage of one Sly Cooper, grabs some darts and proceeds to toss them at her perpetual quarry. After she runs out of the pointy throwing implements she resumes pacing.

"I'm starting to lose my patience." Carmelita growls to the room. "I can handle Cooper by myself! I can't believe they called me here to England to meet with some canine with an inflated ego on some distraction."

"Your track record says otherwise." Says a voice behind her; to which Carmelita spins to find a fairly handsome and utterly male timber wolf.

"And you are?" Carmelita says impatiently, tapping her foot.

Without any warning, the wolf lassoes Carmelita so as to drape her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Your worst nightmare, Fox, we're going to have a little impromptu session of martial arts competition, you and I. Should you beat me, I will leave you alone and never bother you again. But if I win, we will discuss your new assignment candidly and without the snide commentary. The name's Fenrys."

"Not the international bounty hunter who single handedly took down the organization of the infamous Fu Yu?" Carmelita asks with more than a little bit of admiration. "I accept your proposal, Fenrys Hunter."

When the pair gets to a boxing ring, Fenrys frees her and tells her the fight will be anything goes. She nods and then tries to sucker punch the wolf. Using his superior size and strength, Fenrys throws her to the floor. Once she gets up, he executes a high snap kick that knocks her cold. Carmelita awakens in a briefing room with a slide projector set up and Fenrys smirking at her. Glaring at the wolf, Carmelita none the less keeps up her end of the deal and lets him begin his slide show.

"You didn't think I'd go easy on you, did you, Inspector Fox?" Fenrys says. "In any case, sit back and watch, you'll see something of interest soon enough. Are you aware of a little competition called the Larceny Olympics?"

"Never heard of it before," Carmelita admits. "What is this all about?"

The first slide comes up of a generic thief mask over the traditional Olympic rings symbol. "We're not quite sure how it started but every five to ten years thieves from around the world gather for a kind of competition. Basically for bragging rights in the thieving community," Fenrys explains to which Carmelita nods.

"And how is this competition run?" She asks.

Next a series of slides showing thieves stealing various objects. "The competition is basically a scavenger hunt of things around the world of a high profile nature."

"And I suppose this is done by gangs?" Carmelita asks with great interest.

Fenrys nods and smiles: "You're catching on quickly, like I knew you would. As it stands now there are only six gangs worth mentions as having any shot at the title."

Another slide is shown of a Chinese dragon and his native henchmen. "Fu Yu and his henchmen culled from the worst of the Triads and the Yakuza."

Muggshot and some generic thugs whom Carmelita recognizes on sight as she calls out: "Muggshot?! How did he get out of jail again? No matter, I busted his sorry tail once, I can do it again."

Next slide shows an Arabian donkey with what looks like native animals in terrorist garb.

"This is Ali Bubba, a Muslim Prince who uses terrorist tactics to force his victims to give him what he wants."

Following this is a spider with a gang of bugs that Carmelita knows too well as she glares at the screen. "Contessa, I'm going to enjoy taking you down again."

The fifth gang is a three girl team that Carmelita has never seen before consisting of a red panda ninja girl, a cobra girl with hand crutches and a pink elephant girl.

"This is the Li gang. One of two that I think could go either way. The ninja is Mai Li in many ways she is to me what Sly Cooper has been to you. The cobra is Vivian and the elephant calls herself "The Maggie".

Carmelita is about to compare them to the Cooper gang when the last slide is shown and lo and behold it is: "The Cooper Gang!" Carmelita screams. "You have my full and complete cooperation, Fenrys. Do we know what items are on the list?"

"All I know is that the first item on the list is in the Tower of London, an ancient cricket bat thought to be a fake of some sort although nothing has been said for certain."

Meanwhile in a safe house near the Tower of London, Bentley, Murray and Sly study plans and review the list of items they are supposed to steal. An ancient, but purportedly faked cricket bat here in London and specifically in the tower itself. An ancient tube made of gold believed to be the childhood toy of a Pharaoh in Cairo. A bowling ball made from a single huge diamond in Atlantic City. A gilded paper Mache kite made for an Emperor in Tokyo. And finally a pearl and gold Carnival mask in the style of the Phantom of the Opera in Rio.

"So, Bentley, what do we know about the locations of these items and our competition?" Sly asks in as serious a manner as he gets.

"Well, Sly, as far as I know four of the five items has already been claimed." Bentley says in all seriousness. "Where we are now, the Contessa has, for all intents and purposes taken over the Tower of London where the cricket bat is on display as the hoax that it is along with other artifacts for that era. Our old adversary, Muggshot has built taken over a casino complex in Atlantic City and is using the bowling ball as, well, a bowling ball. In Egypt the ruthless Muslim gangster Ali Bubba has already taken the Pharaoh's blow pipe. And over in Japan the unique boss of both Yakuza and Triad members, Fu Yu is holding onto the kite. The mask is anybody's guess, although the overall sponsor of the competition, a shadowy entity know only as the Game Master has hinted that the mask is somewhere in Rio."

"We've beaten the Contessa before," Murray reasons, "we could just beat her again, take the bat and leave her for Carmelita like we did last time."

"Not so simple, Murray," Sly says seriously. "There is one other gang that could ruin this for all of us. The Li Gang, I've heard rumors that put them in the same league as us."

"Well, I have been trading E-Mail jibes with Vivian, my equivalent on their team." Bentley admits.

"And what sort of picture does she have of you?" Sly asks in his more normal wise cracking manner.

"The real me, Sly," Bentley admits. "I learned my lesson with Penelope."

Sly puts a consoling hand on Bentley's shoulder. "Her sacrifice was not in vain, Bentley, she lives on in your heart."

"I hear from Sensei from time to time." Murray says with a sincere smile. "Although I wonder what the Maggie is like."

"I'm sure we'll meet up with that whole gang soon enough, Murray," Sly says with a smart smirk. "Alright, I'm going to go take some recon photos of the Tower, like you asked, Bentley."

"About time!!!" Bentley yells as Sly runs out the door.

Sly chuckles to himself as he makes a leap of faith before snagging a drain pipe with his family cane. Climbing to the top of the building his thief reflexes catch something coming towards him. Dodging whatever it is, Sly watches as a shuriken pass harmlessly over head. Looking towards where the stars were thrown from, Sly sees a ninja whose night suit reveals pretty much the same amount of flesh that it conceals. Sly gets enough of a look to almost lose himself as he sizes up the fetching lady red panda.

"Mai Li I presume?" Sly asks in a most gentlemanly fashion.

The red panda giggles slightly before answering: "Yes, and you must be the infamous Sly Cooper. I have heard much about you. And by passing my little test you have certainly proven to me that you are a Master Thief. Lesser thieves would not have been able to dodge my throwing stars as you did."

"Glad to see my reputation does me justice." Sly quips with a wink to the panda. "Nice outfit by the way. Ninja lady school of distractive camouflage?"

"I suppose that could be considered accurate enough." Mai Li giggles as she gives Sly a coy wink. "It will be interesting in seeing whether it will be better for us to work as adversaries; or as partners."

The tone of voice on the last word of that sentence indicates more than bragging rights might be at stake here. Her sexy outfit, the tone of her voice hinting she have more lustful plans for him than just merely teaming up, and the fact that the two of them are closely related species combines to give the gentleman thief a most ungentlemanly hard on.

"I think that might be a pleasurable experience for us both." Sly slips although he only realizes he had put the same lustful innuendo in the response as she gave out. Not that he'd mind of course.

"Well, then, shall we see how much you want it?" Mai Li winks as she cartwheels up to and over him, making sure that when she gets close enough her head is between his legs. Kissing Sly's package, she steals his hat and then runs away.

"Hey!" Sly yells before he runs after her.

Of course what Sly doesn't quite know yet, is that Mai has had a kind of crush on Cooper for some time now. Both Bentley and Vivian are watching from their prospective safe houses. And while neither is particular pleased with their prospective field agents, Vivian is considerably more amused than Bentley.

"Oh, Mai, Mai, Mai, what ever are we to do with you, girlfriend?" Vivian clucks to herself. "Watch out, or you tip your hand too soon..."

The lady elephant strains her eyes to see what is going on. "Vivian, why is Mai running around twirling some guy's hat?"

"Maggie," Vivian half growls but fully glares at her not so witty partner. "Who does Mai have fantasies about?"

Maggie looks around and sees almost every possible space there could be a photo of Sly Cooper placed covered by a magazine article on him, a newspaper clipping and even some speculative pictures that could be considered porn, although the ones she found with him and Carmelita have been altered so that Mai takes the vixen's place.

"Gee, I forget his name, Cooper something?" Maggie says in all honesty. "He's some sort of super thief right?"

Vivian rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Sly Cooper yes, and yes he is purported to be the greatest thief in the world." Then she goes back to her binoculars and drops her jaw in disbelief as sees Mai wearing her backpack and little else streaking across the rooftops of London. Short, fat flies gawk at the fleeing femme felon in the buff as Sly rushes past them and boffs them with his cane. Vivian can almost read his lips as Sly claims the naked ninja as his. Then she turns to Maggie who is whimpering: "It's busted!" as she holds up a broken vibrator.

"OK" Vivian says in a partial stupor. "Maybe she does need something down there, she could have said something." Then she goes back to look for Mai. "Now where could she be leading him? Not back here!!!" Vivian and Maggie get an eyeful as Mai streaks through the hideout in one door and out the other. Sly briefly stops to bow to both ladies. "Pardon the intrusion, ma'am, but I need to play through as it were. Chasing tail that is." He raises his eye ridges a few times and then resumes chasing Mai with an exclamation of: "Exit the Raccoon!"

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!" Vivian exclaims. Her sentiment is shared by Bentley some ways away who has been having a similar experience as the snake.

When Sly finally does catch up to her, he is almost out of breath as he tackles Mai on London Bridge. Only his quick caning prevents them from falling to the Thames below. Clinging to Sly, Mai has little choice but let him take over. And once he finds a secure little place that makes a rough love nest in a pinch they stop. Mai gives him a coy look as if to ask: "OK, now that you got me, what are you going to do with me?" Sly responds by licking at the lady ninja's now naked breasts as he regains some of his hardness. Mai moans as she grabs his package and tries to coax him out fully in as little time as possible. Sly then opens his pants and lets his member rise out of himself and into Mai. The pair share a brief interlude on London Bridge before they are almost caught by a random centipede member of the Contessa's gang. Some thrown shuriken and its all over as well as the general mood as Mai redresses herself and together Mai and Sly go to the Tower of London to check up on its defenses.

Apparently Vivian has made Mai a binocucam much as Bentley did for Sly. Coordinating the frequencies with each other the pair set up a surveillance post and zoom in on the ancient fortress. Vivian and Bentley are shocked to find that with both binocucams active the four can conference with one another quite easily.

"WHAT!?!" Bentley and Vivian scream as one when they realize what is going on. Sly and Mai giggle amidst themselves. "Come on, Bentley, this is probably for the best. I am guessing the lovely cobra I am seeing now and the one I met earlier are not only one and the same but the lovely tech expert of Mai's team, Vivian?"

"Yes, Cooper," Vivian says with wry amusement. "I see you and Mai got yourselves acquainted right enough."

"Oh, that we did, Viv," Mai smirks. "I think we might do better pooling resources for a series of jobs such as this."

"Actually, that might not be as far fetched an idea it my sound on the surface." Bentley concedes. "At least we know that our technology skill level is on par with each other. Vivian, how much intel do you have on the Contessa?"

"Beyond what I can find on the web, very little, although I suspect you know as much about her and this Muggshott as we do about Ali Bubba and Fu Yu." Vivian relates. "I think you may be on to something, Bentley, darling. The rules say nothing on thieves teaming up and even with our combined forces we're smaller than the gangs we'll be going up against. Although how well we click remains to be seen."

"Oh, baby, love shop talk, whatever we can chip in together will make this all worth wile." Bentley replies saucily.

"But down to business, what can either of you tell us about the Contessa's new gang?" Sly asks in all seriousness. "Looks like she went all out to recruit her own kind this time."

"That seems to be entirely correct, Sly." Bentley says. "Let's take a virtual tour shall we?"

"Sounds like a plan, Bent." Mai says with a wink and a smile which elicits a chuckle from Sly as Bentley shakes his head.

"In any case," Vivian says shortly. "It looks for muscle." Sly and Mai sweep their binocucams over the walls and zoom in on the entrances to the tower. "She has brought in some very nasty looking scorpions. Although they are only the most obvious along with whatever she has inside."

"Right, Vivian," Bentley says as he directs them to look at the Tower itself and the flies buzzing about. "Those flies are her aerial spies and air support. Much more nimble than the bats she had last time, and while they are not nearly as hardy they are harder to hit due to their speed."

A centipede has managed to slightly sneak up on them, but the advantage is lost when he allows himself a gloating chuckle. Sly and Mai hit him hard and he goes down easy.

"Those centipedes are sneaky buggers!" Sly grouses. "Any idea on how many of those she has, Bent?"

"Too many, Sly," Bentley returns with an "Et Tu Brutae" look. "And they seem to be the ones you two need to watch out for the most. They can be quite insidious as you have so painfully demonstrated."

"Yeah, yeah, Bentley," Mai growls in an annoyed tone of voice, "how do you suggest we get into this funhouse?"

"You're gonna have to sneak by some of the guards." Bentley says dejectedly. "What do you think, Vivian, think these two can keep their minds on the task at hand long enough to invade the ramparts?"

"They should, Bentley, but can they both spire jump those lanterns to do so?" Vivian asks pointedly at which point both the coon and the panda take down their binocucams and give each other glares as if telepathically agreeing to show their reptilian compatriots that they are suited to the task at hand.

"Well," Bentley says with a sly smirk of his own. "Looks like the node is going to be opened for business, ready or not."

"Yes, but let's hope the five fingered discount is still in effect." Vivian retorts as the pair laugh and shake their heads at their own jokes.