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Chapter V

The next morning I awoke earlier than normal, at that time of day when the nocturnal creatures have gone to bed, but the birds haven't quite woken up. I quietly exited the tent and sat on a weathered tree stump that overlooked the breadth of the field and the valley that opened up below.

Morning dew still clung to the grass, and a blanket of swirling, floating mist hung like a specter over the ground. I just sat enjoying the peace of the moment for a while, watching the gradually rising sun slowly add streaks of pink and red to the slowly brightening sky.

It's funny the things that would hit me from time to time after the world ended. I had never really camped or hiked, I really hated the outdoors to be honest, and now I sort of enjoyed being outside all the time. If there wasn't hordes of dead ready to eviscerate me at any moment it might be almost peaceful.

Now, sitting here, I realized in my entire life I don't think I had ever bothered to get up to watch the sunrise, and now I couldn't imagine doing anything else right now. The faint pastels began to brighten into faint oranges and reds, and the sky all around began to lighten from black to a cold blue. The faint sound of the first birds chirping in the distance echoed down from the trees.

I don't know if it was the peace or serenity of the moment, but for the first time in a long time I began to think of my family. My two sisters, my mom, even my dad who disowned me when he found out I was gay were probably all dead by now.

I hoped they were truly dead at least, and not forced to wander around as mindless corpses, feeding on the living. That was a fate worse than death. I thought about all the phone calls I had ignored because I was too busy, all the texts I forgot to answer, the birthdays and holidays I had made excuses to avoid.

Tears began to well in the corner of my eyes, and even though I knew I shouldn't dwell on it, I let the feelings come out. I would never see my sisters grow up, never get to tell my mom I loved her again, never even see my dad to say I hated what he did, but wanted to give him a hug all the same.

For the first time in since this all happened I just sat there and silently bawled like a baby. The sun peaked over the edge of the far side of the valley, and warm sun began to take the chill out of my fur, and I watched it all through blurred, teary eyes. Almost everyone I knew was surely dead, we could never see a movie together again, wander the city on a sunny day, have a drunken night where we just sat around telling stories of our misspent youths. All that was gone.

Paws on my chin I just stared in the mental distance for a while, until a paw touched my shoulder and I jumped about a mile out of my fur.

"If I were one of the zeds you'd be breakfast right now wolf," Rachel chuckled at me, nodding at me to move over so she could sit on the wide stump next to me.

"All this," she paused, giving a long and drawn out sigh, "really fucking sucks doesn't it?"

I didn't know what to say to her, I didn't really want to say anything to anybody right now, especially her.

"Family right? And friends? Thinking about what happened to them, all the time you wasted not being with them?" She put an arm around me and clapped my shoulder.

I didn't know where all this was coming from, especially from her, but for some reason I ignored how uncomfortable it was and just sat there. How she figured out exactly what I was thinking was a mystery to me, but so was everything else about the coyote. She was an enigma I had come to the conclusion I was never going to know much about.

"If you can believe it," she said, "I sat right here on this very stump, watching a sunrise of my own and was thinking about all the things you are now. All the calls I could have made, all the family events I missed, Christmas especially. I never wanted to be around at Christmas," she ended quietly.

"What you need to think about is all the times you _were_there, the good times Cash. None of us can do a fucking thing about any of this now, and we aren't going to fix things crying about it, you know? In a way they were the lucky ones, they got out of all this," she said raising her paws and gesturing at the landscape around us. "No walkers to kill, no food to find, no dehydration to fight off, no worrying about if that cut you get is gonna get infected and kill you before you can scavenge some antibiotics. They got the Resurrection while we got stuck waiting for the Revelation you know?"

"I think it's this stump," she remarked, taking her paw from around my shoulder and giving the soggy bark a couple slaps, "it clears your mind, lets you think. You know the mind is it's own place, it can make a hell out of heaven, a heaven out of hell."

I just stared blankly back at her, unsure how to respond to her sudden attempt at kindness, or what she was talking about. How could getting eaten alive be the better way out?

"We're the ones enduring the punishment, death is the relief, death is the happy ending. So all we do is survive now, because that's all there is to do for now. It's not easy, it's not fun, but I gotta believe there's some reason we lived when so many died. It can't all be chance, or luck, or fate or whatever."

The coyote stood up, leaning back to crack her back and leaned down to stretch her limbs. "I guess what I'm saying is, none of are changing this thing anytime soon so chin up, okay? At least you still have that big oaf of a lion with you, and I bet that's something most people still alive would give anything for. So for now we just survive, and when we can figure out something better than that, we start doing that."

With that she got up and turned to go back to the cabin.

"Wait Rachel," I croaked, "why do you think you survived?"

"Oh that's an easy one," she replied matter-of-factly, "I survived because the fire inside me burns hotter than the fire around me. I've known that from the start, and it always will. That is until a walker or a bullet catches me, but I've made my peace with that."

Again I just stared back at the coyote, slightly shaking my head. I couldn't quite figure her out, I doubted I ever would.

At the door to the cabin the coyote paused as she opened the heavy wooden door, "Let me ask you one thing though, wolf."

"Yeah, what's that?" I replied, looking up at her.

"You and your boyfriend always make that much noise when you fuck? You could draw walkers for miles with that howl."

My muzzle dropped and I just stared back, embarassed, I couldn't believe she called me out so fast.

"I'm just fucking with you Cash, lighten up," she laughed, cracking a smile, "but some of us would like to sleep, and the dead are attratcted to noise, so maybe try to keep it down next time?"

My face was burning with embarrassment so I just gave a weak, "Yeah..." in reply.

Smile still wide across her muzzle the coyote nodded towards the tent in front of the cabin, "Wake your stud up there, I'm gonna get breakfast rolling for us and if he sleeps through it I'm eating his portion."

She strode into the cabin and the door closed behind her with a sharp slap, leaving me sitting on my stump. I got up and walked towards the tent, where I could still hear the lion snoring.

That coyote sure was one crazy bitch, working me to death one day, acting as my psychiatrist the next. For now though I pushed that all away because I could smell a fire kindling already, and for the second meal in a row it seemed we were going to have a hot meal, something other than foraged berries and stale candy bars.

I opened the tent flap to shake the burly lion awake, but as soon as I poked my head inside, I saw King already awake, sitting up with his arms crossed and a harsh look on his face.

"What in the _fuck_do you think that was all about?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I jumped into the tent, sitting up next to King, leaning my head into his shoulder. He grabbed my paw and placed it in his lap, rubbing the back of it with his fingers.

"I don't know King, I really don't," I replied honestly, "but maybe this is the start of a beautiful friendship as they say," with more than just a little sarcasm in my voice.

"Some friends we make, huh?" he said gruffly.

"Well at least this one is making breakfast, so I say we take what we can get for now, and keep feeling this girl out. Maybe she is a psycho, but maybe she's one of the good ones after all."

"Whatever you say Cash, whatever you say," he said, squeezing my paw as he stood up to exit the tent. "Let's make sure we get that breakfast before it's gone at least."

As if one cue my stomach growled in response, so I stood and followed the lion out of the tent, concious that, at least for now, I still did have somebody.