FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

There you were once again, beneath that tree you knew so well and upon the hill you couldn’t forget, the seas of roses down below swaying in the gentle breeze of the wind, uncaring and free. Staring outwards at the sky, the sun was setting on the horizon, a mix of pinks and oranges danced across your sight, painting the same familiar sight you always loved to see, a weary sigh leaving you as you gazed upon it.

As always, you blinked, slowly, heavily, trying to resist the inevitable, but you never could, no matter how hard you tried. When you opened your eyes again, you saw the sky turn to black, not a single spot of light or a shining star up above, that same darkness all around you. Like staring at an inkpot spilled upon a beautiful sky, the oily black water rejecting its light as it formed a dome around you. Gravity seemed to lessen as you lost yourself, gazing into that encroaching abyss.

You could still hear the tree, rustling in the wind, branches swaying in the dark, but you could also smell the roses slowly burning, emitting no light as the scent of searing petals came along up to your hill. Warm, but the wind always took it back, the cold breeze slipping itself beneath your clothes, stabbing your poor, huddled body. And finally, you gave up as you untethered from the earth, closing your eyes to the dark and counting down the seconds as you floated away, like you had so many other times. Starting high and waking up without ever finishing, your thoughts wandering to someone else that was meant to be there yet never was, picturing them alongside you, holding you close through the night, through the void as you faded.

You dreamt of her.

You dreamt of how much you missed her.

You awoke from your night of troubled sleep, your eyes shut but your ears attuned to the world, with even your sluggish self hearing the endless pouring of rain plinking at the windows, trying to get in by any means possible. The wind howled, furious, frustrated, gales bristling past your home so high up on the building, harassing your poor ears with its whining and moaning. You were comfortable but only by the sheer weight of the woolen sheets above you, a cocoon against the creeping cold, little help against everything else however. Your eyes reluctantly opened as you already knew what was to come, taking a deep breath as your hands moved towards them, already dreading the sound.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-*

You denied the phone the small victory of searing your retinas with its screen glare but still lost the fight against the noise, the ever so pleasant wake-up jingle signaling your time to rise and shine, come hell or high water. A damn early call to battle too, the clock always ringing at what you knew to be around 6 in the morning, the special Wednesday shift always managing to drain whatever life force kept you together across the week, many a time resulting in you needing to recharge with a friend. Often, with Anna. A soft little smile crossed your lips as you reminisced about the little incident you two had, a couple of weeks having gone on by, with the end of February right in sight.

She decided to take it slow after that little burst of love in a lightning storm, keeping it about as casual as it had been before, but you could tell things had changed. Her smile was just a bit wider when you came along, your talks on the phone lasted just a bit too long to be normal, each of you looking for any reason to extend them, your nights lonelier than you wished to admit. And alone you awoke, bed missing the person you’d wish it had, bearing only your groggy self in its mattress, warm but not warm enough for you. As far as you knew, not warm enough for Anna either. A sad smile formed on your face as you took the first deep breath of the day, letting the cool air seep into your lungs as you spoke out loud, a little mantra to rise up day after day.

“It’ll be worth it. It’s gotta be worth it man. C’mon, do it for her.”

Stupid as it was, it always managed to get you enough energy to put your ass upright, the pajamas near your skin cooling down with the air outside your bed as you escaped the sheets, a humid breeze seeping in from the rainy morning. You made a mental note to get some better insulation for the place as a whole, your feet finding a pair of slippers to slide into, body shambling towards the bathroom as you faced the mirror and placed your hands on the sink. The same old ritual followed after, letting the cold water tap run for a while before you scooped and splashed it into your eyes, washing away the gunk and bringing that still sleeping part of you into the waking world. Another scoop, this one aimed at your mouth, the taste of cool tap water clearing out the foul morning taste, feeling your bad breath fade away. A hand below the faucet, letting the cold frost up your fingers as you brought it behind your neck, little droplets tingling the nerves as they soaked up the skin.

It all helped to get your post wakeup droning over quicker, a little technique your family passed on and that had mixed results with Anna, what with the fur and all. It annoyed her more than it helped but it always did seem to work with you, a little pre-coffee boost to get your whole zombie shtick dead and over with, your now much more awake but still tired self shuffling back to the kitchen. Same order of priorities as always, coffee machine on, fridge door wide open, muted TV on and bread bag unfurled, ready to eat. You let out a sigh as you watched through the news, bored with the same old filler, your morning sandwich made and eaten in less than a minute, your eyes floating down to a jacket hanging on by a chair.

Puffy, black, thankfully waterproof and with a few modifications for Anthro use, two large-ish triangles meant for ears on its hood and a rather sleek frame for a more feline fit. Anna’s jacket, left there in the middle of winter, all so she could justify coming back this weekend or the next one. Every time you asked her about just bringing it next time you were over or tried to remind her when she came around resulted in her saying she’d grab it next time, or somehow managing to avoid the topic and forgetting it. It was plenty clear what it was meant to be now, a little excuse she placed so she could always come around even if she didn’t need it at all. She herself admitted it, she was terrible at this kind of stuff, so you let it slide and left it hanging over the chair, more a piece of decor than anything else at this point. It was cute in a way, a small little piece of her in your home, always there just in case. You just wished the first trip here, she would have taken an umbrella instead of going out in the rain with her t-shirt alone, almost earning herself a small case of pneumonia for her cute little stunt.

You let out a little smile as you slotted on a capsule into your coffee machine, the mechanical whirr and steaming mug of fine coffee earning you the final boost you needed to get your shit ready to roll, heading over to your room to finally get yourself dressed and ready. Your arms barely managed to swing open your closet door before you heard the familiar sound of something rustling in your bed, a simple and quick *bzzzzzt*, barely lasting a second. You took a closer look as to check who in the devil would be sending you a notification at six in the damn morning, swiping the unlock code to reveal the only other person dumb enough to wake up at these times of their own volition.

Anna, her message plenty clear, a simple enough “You awake?” on the screen, text bubble still fresh. You stared at it for a second, deciding to sit down and grasp the phone proper, your fingers gliding across the glass as to type out a message, brow furrowing as you tried to focus.

“Yep, I’m awake, getting ready for the Wednesday shift. Kills me every time”

“What are you doing up so early?”

“Doing some stretches, preparing for a run. You know how it is, right?”

You gave a quick look out the window as the rain still went on like there was no tomorrow, raising an eyebrow as you typed, a small smirk forming on your lips.

“Anna, it’s pouring. The only race you’ll be doing is a race to an early grave with pneumonia and a wet coat of winter fur. Not your first race to that finish line either.”

“What’s really up? You don’t usually text me this early.”

“Not on a Wednesday at least.”

The wait for her answer bordered on suffering, the waving indicator telling you she was clearly typing and yet taking over a minute to deliver, the two messages coming in one after the other.

“Alright, alright.”

“I woke up early because it was cold, and”

“Because it was cold, it got me thinking.”

“Thinking hard. Thinking well.”

“You think you can swing on by after the shift?”

“Make a few minutes for a good friend?”

You hesitated, letting your fingers off the screen as you took her messages in. It wouldn’t hurt to say yes, and you were curious as to what got her “thinking hard”, but she was still acting strange, a pang of worry welling up within you. You swiped out a quick response, keeping your eyes straight on the phone, looking to see how well your prod would work.

“I mean sure, I can come along but can’t we talk now?”

“I still got a bit to go if it’s urgent, might be able to call off the shift for an hour or two.”

Your mind was on edge as you waited, barely a few seconds of delay now compared to the last few messages, feeling the buzz beneath your fingers come much quicker this time.

“No, too serious to text, too personal to have you skipping work.”

“Wouldn’t feel right.”

“Besides, having you around is always nice.”

“Not like I need an excuse for you to come, right?”

Quicker to type, more honest, less constructed sentences, all signs you could relax a little. You decided to wing it like she did, lightening your load as you swiped down a quick few lines, eyeing out what she wrote in response.

“True enough, I’d make my own excuse. I’ll be there, don’t worry.”

“Can I at least get a hint or are you gonna leave me hanging all day long though? The suspense is gonna kill me if the cold doesn’t.”

“You’ll find out when you get here ;)”

“Cruel cruel kitty cat. First you make me do all those squats and break my legs, now you leave me worried sick? Tsk tsk, trying to kill me here.”

“You know it :^)”

“Really, just come after work.”

“I miss you.”

You held on to that moment for as long as you could before you typed, letting your eyes close as a deep breath rung out, an honest smile forming on your lips as you watched the screen.

“Yeah. I miss you too Anna.”

“See you soon?”

“See you soon.”

You could feel a weight both lifted off your shoulders and placed right back, the phone going dark as you let go of the screen, staring at the last few messages in it before idleness powered it down. A quick look at the clock told you it had been almost 7 minutes, your little time allowance running short as life kept moving on without you, always running a tighter schedule with less and less leeway. You quit your sappy shit as best as you could and focused on actually dressing up properly, your work attire unfolded and quickly worn on your skin, a quick comb back and a rub of your hands settling you in fine enough. Job didn’t pay enough to really care, and God knew you always loved to shoot a “You too” back at the noisier cunts who said you didn’t look like you slept well.

…

Work itself was as it ever was. Dull, unrewarding and a waste, just like the wet dreams of every single corporation on earth. Office demands weren’t terrible, you weren’t being told to load up vans full of furniture, to deal with the scum of customer service or made to clean the infamous female restrooms, but the endless requests for baby tier X-Cell sheets, the long and needless hours and your wisdom made it frustrating. Oh, you knew now to complain that this was too easy, that was a rookie mistake. You knew not to whine or offer up to do more work than ever needed. You were wise to the system after your last manager caught you doing good, honest work ethic and stopped you right in your tracks, his words still ringing in your ears with that nigh on paternal, worried tone only middle-aged management men used.

“Anon, whatever you do, whatever you smoke or drink, always remember. Never work an inch unprompted. Never work a second unpaid. Never work hard here. It just isn’t worth it.”

A few years back you were confused, downright baffled, but as time went on you realized the absolute wisdom bestowed upon you, paid in kind with a few crates of ice cold beer. Nobody else here, IT nerds aside, knew how to do just about anything, and the few who did hid it well. Michael, an old office “legend” told by your manager, was one of the first new hires they got, and by God, how they broke him in just 2 weeks, upper management having a field day with the poor guy.

“Oh, you know how to do X-Cell fine and dandy? Well that’s quite good, I suppose you can be our new assistant manager! Oh, it doesn’t have a raise with it, but you will be in charge of more serious projects around here and boost your resume!”

“Oh, you’re always looking for work? Marvelous, guess you won’t mind having it offloaded from your superiors, it was just some mild paperwork, you don’t mind, do you?”

“Ah, you have such a great mind for planning ahead! We have an office party coming up in the next few months and I’m sure you’d be the perfect planner!”

“Ah Michael, good to see you, what did you want to talk about? Wait, what do you MEAN you’re quitting already?”

Two weeks was all it took for him and you had been here for two years, boring as all hell but steady nonetheless, and what kept you sane was a twofold plan you made as soon as you could get here, simple and true. Make pals with the IT so you get a pass on your terminal, lay low and get in touch with Anna to have some fun outside of work.

Sadly, while you got the first in plenty with all the perks of unrestricted office internet, today you were lacking the latter, your eight to eight shift ending up with you checking your phone over and over again, reading the last few messages with a sad smile on your lips. Your mind crossed the worst case scenarios out, knowing she’s not the kind to bait you in for some break up meeting or anything of the like, but that left you with plenty of hours to think of everything else it *could* be. With the work sheets done and hours ticking by, spent in an office you didn’t have to be in just for the sake of numbers for the financial quarter, your mind wandered to everywhere and anywhere it could find, your back leaning against the chair, eyes stuck upwards on the halogen lights.

What *could* it be? Had to be about you two, that’s for sure, but she had enough time over the two weeks to get it done, so why this morning? She did her thinking in the cold apparently, made up a bad excuse, texted and ended up calling you over, saying she missed you…

Was she *just* lonely or was there something else to it? Maybe a hit of seasonal sadness? Making up a real bad excuse to speed up your weekend ritual? A mix of all three was likely, but that just made your heart clench, a sigh leaving you through gritted teeth as your eyes darted to the clock, the sight never changing much. Too long to go, too little passed, work done but your doubts kept piling on and on, with a few more hours left to waste. They’d notice if you left early, you tried it before and it didn’t end too well, yet they didn’t keep the most keen eye on what you did in between, an idea hatching on your head as you rose from your chair and headed out your cubicle.

You narrowed your sight towards the green door at the back of the room, ignoring whatever glances your coworkers might have slung your way as you pushed the handle down, the emergency door opening to the building’s concrete stairwell. Not the most glamourous of spots to hide in for a moment or two, but it did well enough for any smoker on a break or a man who needed to make a call in privacy, with you ascending up its steps and towards the final “shack” by the roof, just a small door separating you from it. You could hear and feel the rain pitter patter across from it, the moisture in the air palpable as you got closer, deciding to take just a few steps back and check your phone. Good enough reception, still enough battery and with the number you needed on the contact list, pressing your thumb and waiting as the rings went on by, your back to the wall.

It took a while, but he finally picked up, his calm voice clear from the other side, downright relaxed as usual, never having checked who the bloody hell called him. Typical, but that was part of his charm.

“Hello-Hello, you have reached the voice of Daniel, coming at you from his most esteemed living room. How may I help you, Sir or Madam?”

“I don’t think you’ll ever have a “madam” calling you Dan. Maybe a girl or a chick, but right now, just me.”

His tone shifted just slightly, a humored little huff leaving him and going through the speakers, the sound of a groaning couch following his words, his shtick intensifying to his usual degree.

“The mighty King Anon, heeding his fellow royal a check-up? Or am I going to be your check-up for today, hmm?”

“I think it’s the latter, if you don’t mind. I want an outsider view on what I have cooking on, if you got the time?”

“For a fellow king, always, always. So, what ails your Kingdom? Woes of poverty? Longing for love? A plague of sickness sweeping the realm?”

You let out a sigh, mostly empty of ill will but tired nonetheless, a small start of a smile reaching your lips as you started to think and talk, trying to parse your point beyond this man’s obsession with his technical royalty and pizazz.

“Your endless idiocy over legally being a French royal aside? Love, from someone else actually.

“You have me intrigued and willing to aid. But if you will not parlez avec moi, I cannot say anything to toi, mon ami.”

You let your free hand rub at your temples, your mouth trying its best to let out what you needed to say, managing to restrain yourself to just one snarky quip.

“Ought to get you a guillotine one of these days so you can be proper French, you fucker. It’s about Anna, the girl I talked to you about a while back. Remember, the Lynx?”

He hums, a few seconds of silence going by, enough to make you check the call didn’t fall through. Sure enough it didn’t, his voice coming out much more serious now, downright worried.

“Silver haired coat, toned physique and left your back more worn and torn than a scratching post. I remember the more salacious details you told me and how you went up to it, yes I do.”

“Remember how we took it slow ever since?”

“I do now. So, what is the trouble in your *paradis*? From what you told me, things were looking up. I was hoping they would stay up for a long, happy time my friend.”

“I… think they still are. But I just want your wisdom on this one, eh king? Something doesn’t add up.”

“Go ahead then. I’m listening.”

You made sure to take a peek down the stairwell just in case someone was listening in, leaning back into the wall as you found nobody, eyes now glued to the outside, the rain managing to pour even harder as you focused.

“Right… I woke up early and was getting my shit together when I saw a message from her. Said some bad excuse for being up so early, going for a run, and I don’t think I need to tell you to look out a window.”

“Uh-huh. Go on then, what else was odd?”

“Well, she told me it was the cold that woke her up. Said it got her thinking. Thinking long and hard, and said she wanted me there to talk. Thing is, I suck at these kinds of deals more than she realizes, so while I think I’m not gonna get dumped, I got no clue what to expect later.”

“…”

“Dan? You still there?”

You heard what you swore was a popping of a cork on the other end, the sound of flowing, gurgling liquid only helping to paint the picture, a few more seconds of silence making it clear what he said next, sipping on the other side of the line.

“You really are bad at this, I agree. What exactly are you expecting, a revolution? A sudden confession she had lice, perhaps an invitation for cake? I ask this honestly, why and how are you overthinking this?

“C’mon man, I called in for advice, not a royal sermon! I asked because you can see shit I can’t, so don’t go regal on me and lay it out, you little princely pompous shit!”

A fully entertained and hearty laugh rang out from your speaker, the sound of more poured and sipped liquid clear as he seemed to relax, his tone void of snark or joking intent. Direct, cooled down and honest.

“I am no Casanova by any means, but she’s got her winter coat on Anon. She isn’t thinking hard in the actual cold, she’s just making an excuse, guaranteed.”

“You sure?”

“They have a puffy jacket for skin that doubles for winter, you have *slept* with her, you *know* her house isn’t cold and you know she *likes* you. Do not make me spell it out, please.”

“So… just an excuse for me to go there?”

“Likely, even if she does not seem the kind to do a cat call, if you will pardon my pun. Winter might be cold sometimes, but I think she’s missing another kind of warmth. Go get em tiger.”

“Yeah… thanks Dan. And sorry for the snark, it’s just- y’know, she messaged me at like 6 AM and I’ve been thinking about it till now. Work’s been killing me.”

Even if you couldn’t see it, you were damn near sure he shrugged on the other end of the line, maybe even throwing a dismissive wave, his silence before speaking feeling more like a dramatic pause rather than one needed to think.

”How could I blame a pal for being worried? Nonsense. Just come along one of these days and bring me something for us to drink, it’s been a while since we had a nice chat and hung out in the castle.”

”Yeah, will do. You still like those dumb gimmick champagne bottles? I swear, you are the only grown ass man I ever saw drinking that shit like it’s a beer. Bet that’s the cork I heard a minute ago.”

A small chuckle was all you heard before he poured himself some more, a downright confessional tone to his voice.

”Kings all have appetites Anon, and I am a slave to my own. Bon chance, mon ami, and I will drink to your success. And I trust you will drink to mine.”

With that, he ended the call, leaving you to pocket your phone and to shake your head, both at yourself and him. Daniel was always odd and eccentric, especially after he got loaded, but despite that he was reliable and honest, one of your best friends over the years. For as much as you gave him shit over his French royalty obsession and the champagne business, he was almost always right in his calls, and this gave you plenty of food for thought as you took it all in, the silence broken only by the rain. Of course she wasn’t physically cold, the more you thought about it the sillier it became, and the stupider you felt. Loneliness, maybe fear, less something wrong with the world itself and more how she felt about it, and how to fix it. Overthinking it was as big a trap as underthinking, but in that middle ground you were left with only two different options, both nerve wracking for different reasons.

Lust and Love.

Either it was a booty call desperate enough to blueball you for an entire day of work, or it was something strong enough to make her claw the phone at 6 AM, asking for you to come on to her home, saying she missed you. Both equally terrifying and more than enough to get your nerves acting up, a knot forming in your stomach as your hands began to shake. You couldn’t help it, feeling the anxiety rise as your trembling hands came to rub at the back of your neck, your breath forming a small cloud of vapor as you exhaled into the air. It was getting colder now, seeing as how the afternoon was about to turn dark, the eternal quirk of winter. Shorter days but no shortage of work hours, and a quick check of your phone had you realize that even with all this thinking and talking, you wasted only twenty minutes out of the two hours left.

You muttered a quick and muted “Goddammit” before heading down the stairwell and back to your cubicle, most of your co-workers not even moving an inch or acknowledging you coming back, only one nodding as you passed. You sat down back unto your chair and opened a quick file, pretending to be busy while your eyes stared at the digital clock, the minutes ticking down ever so slowly, the sound of rain and the odd humming computer filling the hall as the windows kept the water out. Time was something you had in excess, and your thoughts buzzed and whirred, trying to parse it out as you contemplated it all.

Sure, you had a place to go after work, fifteen minutes walk through the rain and maybe you could crash by the couch and avoid the commute back, but which of the two options were you expecting? Which of the two were you even *prepared for*? You had a clue of what was going to happen, and you liked Anna and all the stuff you did together at her place, but either you were coming out her door with a blush and a shredded back or you’d be dealing with someone’s fragile, precious heart, and handling it with clumsy, idiot hands that didn’t know how romance worked. You could only truly prepare for one but you’d fail at the other, both failures catastrophic in their own ways, even if one was much, much worse than the other.

Just what you needed after a tiring day at work.

The walk there was oddly nice, all things considered. The rain managed to settle down into a small drizzle by the time you went out the door with a scarf and an umbrella, and with it being so late and wet, few folks were still around and walking the concrete paths, places to be, folks to get to. That left you with mostly clear streets, the way forwards illuminated by the lamplights up above, cutting out the dark well enough alongside the rest of the city’s glow, the cracked sidewalks so familiar you could do this path blindfolded by now. Still took you a small bit by distance alone, but it was a good time to think and to prepare your “plan”, if you could call it that.

Covering the minimal bases of the two options got you a foothold in, after that you went with a cool head and ad-libbing like a forgotten powerpoint presentation from there, lack of grace and all. Not subtle, not pretty and definitely not complex, but a plan was only ever as good as you could practice it, and while your hands were shaking, your breath was smooth, your mind clear, hopeful, even by the time you arrived outside her building’s door. You stared at the small selection of buttons on the wall and scanned for hers, taking a deep breath before you decided to hold it, speaking into the microphone.

”Hey Ann-“

You didn’t even get two words in before you heard the lobby’s door bolt unlock with a buzz, the noise echoing out in the hall and up its stairs, a soothing yellow glow bathing the entrance. Not the most thrilling of signs, with you simply standing and staring at the door, motionless, worried. This wasn’t normal, not by a long shot, and her standing by the terminal just to let you in quicker? It was a downright anomaly, she usually took her sweet time to open up, even if just to mess with you a little on these cold, rainy days. You quickly remembered that if she was this quick to open, she was probably right beside her terminal up above, likely eyeing the lobby camera, your hands pushing the door forwards and entering the lobby itself, collapsing your umbrella and enjoying the relative dryness for a spell. It was odd, but the tiredness of work only started to hit you now that you actually came inside, your primordial lizard brain relaxing just enough to remind you to rest, to take it easy. As if it couldn’t have picked a worse time to do so, entering the tigers den.

You considered dumping your umbrella by the can to mess with Anna but decided against it, heading up the stairs in a slow trudge, muttering to yourself a small little mantra as you went along.

”C’mon. You can do it. Nothing you can’t handle. Nothing. You’ll get through it.”

You quit your half mute yapping by the time you reached the last flight of stairs, out of paranoia she could hear you and out of the sheer embarrassment for needing to do it, taking a deep breath before knocking twice on her door, nervous as all hell. She seemed to take her sweet time now, the sounds of mild running inside and a swift “Coming!” painting the picture of some last minute shuffling, a much less swift opening of the door following a minute or two afterwards.

There she stood again, leaned against the frame of the door, a silvery feline coat of winter fur, a grey barely filled hoodie, black unbranded track pants and some slippers on her feet, sporting a smug, if nervous smirk, blemished with a few black spots on her cheeks reminiscent of human freckles. She crossed her legs as she stood against the frame, leaning in more as she placed her amber eyes on you, barely able to disguise her nervousness in them, not to mention that twitch in her leg, the claws on her hands half unsheathed as she crossed her arms. Her voice wasn’t much better, but she was trying to be calm and inviting, even if you did your best to keep a straight face and smile as she spoke.

”Heya Anon. Rain spare you this time?”

You nodded as you took off your scarf, sighing as the promise of warmth came in closer, your body betraying the stress in your head.

“Lost the battle, but I managed to retreat just fine. Had someone with quick fingers get me inside the bunker, y’know?”

Her smirk faltered a little as she nodded, motioning you inside with a quick thrust of her thumb.

”I figured after a day like this you could use a little pick me up, so I waited for you. Have some tea brewing by the living room, if you’d like some?”

You raised an eyebrow at the tea, your food policies more aligned with the beer and takeout lotto than the more herbal stuffs, but you were grateful nonetheless, squeezing out a more honest and relieved smile.

“Thanks Anna, I think I need it after today. Wish winter would die off already, but a warm cup with good company is close enough.”

”Well, just come on in before the neighbors complain about us chatting here again. I uh, just have to go get something real quick. Feel at home, okay?”

With that she turned around and headed beyond the entry hall, taking a right and going to what you assumed to be her bedroom, closing the hidden door behind her, so gently you barely heard it.

This whole thing felt odd, the air filling with that tension you’ve felt before, not helped by the tea, lightning quick door opening and the sudden rush to her room, an uneasy feeling spreading itself through your gut. You couldn’t leave, not now anyways, deciding to endure it and to go further inside, closing the door behind you and walking to the living room. That’s when it really hit you, as you looked around and breathed in the air.

This place was clean.

As in, obnoxiously clean.

The floor was recently swept up, and not in a half assed attempt like she usually did. The kitchen, right by the entrance hall, was spotless, the tiled floor actually managing to shine as the halogen light above was on, the counters pristine. Even as you went into the living room, everything felt… neater. The TV’s screen was polished, the couch cushions set in the right place, just a small hint of window cleaner smell in the air still lingering on, same with the tea, chamomile if your nose wasn’t busted. Two steaming cups of it, right by a small table in front of the couch, the TV muted but showing some news report, a commentator speaking nothing of importance as flashy pictures went around, the sound of drizzling rain hitting the windows to the balcony.

It was downright bizarre now, completely unlike Anna at all, but as you sat down on the couch and started to sip on the warm tea, you could at least scratch out the booty call from your mind. Nobody sane would go to this much effort just to do something like that, especially for you. She even remembered how many sweeteners you liked in your tea, one and a half, the chamomile mix hitting you just right way to make your body relax, even if your mind was still alert. If this wasn’t just a quick excuse, then-

”Hey.”

Her voice snapped you out of your trance as you saw her step out the door to the room, gripping the frame and giving you a tired smile.

”Are you feeling okay? You look… distracted?”

You couldn’t help but nod, rubbing out your neck as you sipped your tea again, breathing in deep.

”Yeah, I’m kinda distracted. Work always kills me without even making me work. Tea is also helping, but I think you know what I’m really worried about, right?”

She moved out from the frame and plopped herself down beside you, gripping her cup with both her pawed hands, amber eyes turning to slits as she spoke. She didn’t drink it, she just smelled and held it close to her face, as if trying to ground herself. Her claws seemed to poke at the cup, breath shaky, but her grip on it firm and steady.

”I know. I’m sorry for making you come here this late, after a day like this and everything else… but it’s important. I wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t.”

Seeing her like this always killed you inside, and despite your nervousness, you still managed to squeeze out a smile to give her, your voice doing its best to not sound tired, even if you failed a little.

”I don’t really mind Anna, but I won’t lie, this wait is killing me. What *is* so important? I’ve been thinking about it since six in the morning, and while I always love stopping by, this is eating me up inside. Don’t know what to expect.”

She took in your word and nodded before taking a large sip of her tea, exhaling some vapor onto the air, just like she always used to do as a kid, her still dagger like eyes pensive as she stared down at her cup.

”I’ve been doing some thinking Anon. No, I’ve been doing a *lot* of thinking. Thinking on us, on the future, on the present. Thinking about things I should and shouldn’t. But I think I can show you easier than I can tell you.”

With that, she lowered her cup back onto the table, her left hand gently gripping yours, barely holding onto it, as if any bit of resistance could pry her off you, the tips of her claws touching you with a care unlike her. Her voice trembled for a moment, her eyes staring into yours, giving you a simple, nervous request.

”Close your eyes. Please.”

Your heart began to beat faster as you felt her grip you, and faster still as she muttered those words, your eyes closing themselves to the world with a heavy sigh, your voice close to shattering.

”Anna, if this ends up being you breaking up with me, you are one cruel, cruel woman, you know that?”

She didn’t respond, leaving you with little to orient yourself as your eyes shut themselves and nothing seemed to happen. The rain hitting the windows, the sudden flashes of light from the TV and the slight sound of ruffled clothes in motion were all you felt for a few moments before you had your left hand dragged out closer to hers. She opened it then, and placed something within it, closing your hand with her own as gently as she could, giving you a soft squeeze as your face scrunched into a look of confusion, trying to figure out what the hell this was.

It felt metallic, ridged, sharp even, but light and barely covering your palm at all, your brain scrambling to think what it could be. Not a ring, not a necklace, too thick and sharp, too long to be some odd trinket, so what-

Oh.

Oh?

Oh fuck.

The face you made must have made her relax, a heavy sigh of relief hitting your ears as you opened your eyes, staring at your clenched fist, that tension in the air replaced by something else now. Something much, much more personal, your heart beating like a drum as you realized what the hell she just put in your hand, your words careful as your brain buzzed with disbelief, as a crackle of lightning rode down your spine.

”Anna, is… is this what I think it is?”

It was her turn now to be her real self, a smug smirk splattered on her face as she placed a hand by your shoulder, squeezing you in as her fear seemingly vanished.

”It might be. Only one way to find out, right?”

She gave you a final nudge before letting go, your fingers uncurling from your palm to reveal a simple metallic key, with a roundish head and jagged teeth. The kind you’d seen before, used by Anna.

A key to her apartment.

It seemed to shine in your hand from the light up above and the flashes of blue and red the TV put out, a small, confused smile plastered on your face as you finally turned to face her, mouthing off the only question you really wanted to ask.

”But… why?”

She barely seemed prepared to answer that, if at all, letting her arms cross as she laid herself back onto the couch, a closed eyed smirk filling her face, even if her voice was filled with melancholy and sadness.

”I’ve been thinking. Dreaming even, if you believe me, of that day we had. I remember it, the afternoon and I remember the morning too. It’s been stuck on my mind, stuck on repeat, but every day I wake up I just… I don’t know.”

She didn’t even try to hide it now, her smile fading into a frown, eyes stuck to the ceiling as she leaned more and more backwards, sinking into the curve of the couch, blinking away what you swear was the start of waterworks.

”I dreamt of being alone out there. Of being in a field where I could be with someone else but all the roses were aflame. There was nobody to enjoy the fire with, nobody to dance with as it all went ablaze. Nobody to hold me when it cooled down and the wind chilled my bones to frozen ice. Nobody at all. Nobody to tell me it’s going to be alright. But I don’t just want some nobody to do it either. And I figured, if I can’t go to Paris, I can always have Paris come to me.”

She stayed still, her eyes sliding over to you, pupils still sharp like a dagger, her tired eyes expecting something, anything out of you. In truth, you were paralyzed, a flood of emotions, fear, joy, terror and ecstasy, all running at the same time, a cocktail from heaven and hell filling your brain, your poor spine feeling like an electric pole, buzzing with shivers and electricity. Your heart was beating, not fast, but hard now, your eyes stuck to that key in your palm, small, but feeling heavier and heavier the more you understood what it meant, what meaning it had not just for her, but for you as you held it.

Trust. Above all, this was a sign of absolute trust, a leap of faith, to give someone else the permission to come to your home not just when you wanted as a guest, but to come in as something much more, to be a part of this place. Or, perhaps even to commit to her, in a way.

You could feel her gaze piercing through you, expecting something, anything, your free shaking hand gripping the cup of tea, the other closing on the little jagged gift, trying to down all that tea in one go. It didn’t fill what seemed to be the new pit in your stomach, but the heat and warmth let you concentrate, to focus, your tangled throat speaking out the words you needed to say, even if not as gracefully as you’d like.

“I… suck at this Anna. You know it, I know it, the whole world knows it. But even if I do, I- I feel the same. I get it, and honestly, the only reason I didn’t come here more was you telling me to take it slow. I wish you hadn’t, key or no key. But…”

That word seemed to put her on edge, your pause to think and to breathe causing the atmosphere to tense up beyond belief, more than when you two first confessed. You set down your mug and placed the key beside it, your back curling towards the couch, your hand lowering itself above her own, your eyes stuck to those amber pools, your throat still tied with a knot, blurting out whatever blunt words you managed to think.

”I need to know what you want, Anna. I need to know what you expect from me, what this means to you. You know I want to say yes, you know I don’t want to hurt you, but I can only agree if you tell me what you mean. Do you want me to live here? To sleep here with you? Or is the key just… a key?”

Her eyes stared down at your hand above her own, pupils slowly turning from daggers to something much softer as she breathed in, a loud, very loud sigh pouring from her, her eyes closing to the world as she spoke. Determined yet vulnerable, scared beyond what you ever thought possible.

”I miss you. I keep missing you and keep hating it, going to sleep alone. I keep dreaming about it, dreading it, waking up without someone I care for. Whenever I go to sleep, I think about that day and whenever I wake up, I end up wishing it was happening every morning…”

Her other hand soon came to rest atop your own, a clawed squeeze slowly gripping it, not enough to pierce the skin, but just enough to hold you tighter, the warmth of her hands seeping into you as she pressed her palm down.

”I’d… like it if you stayed some nights. Mornings too. You wouldn’t have to live here, you deserve having a place to yourself, and I know I can have my quirks but- but I believe in this working out. And with you saying you feel it too, I trust it even more.”

A gentle, warm smile slowly spread on her lips as she finally looked you in the eyes, her own now wide and round, focused on you and you alone.

”I remember what you said when you thought I was asleep. Sweet dreams Anna. I love you. Won’t you say that again to me? Don’t you want me to say it to you too?“

Your cheeks turned tomato red, the blood flowing across your face like a torrent, warm and soothing unlike the pit in your gut and the rushing heat across your body, throat blocked for good. She was awake after all, listening in, catching your little soft moment red handed and bringing it back, just when you were the most tired husk of a man you could be. You couldn’t even call her cruel, she was the one making the jump instead of you, cleaning her place, having you over, making the key…

No, you couldn’t blame her at all. As she saw the start of a sly smile spread on your face, and the atrocious attempts you made at trying to talk, she gave you the time to think, to compose yourself. She needed to breathe after all, and so did you, your back now meeting the sofa’s own, head aimed at the sky and meeting the ceiling instead, a few breaths finally unscrambling your brain, letting you speak, a wide grin on your face.

”Man, you are *evil* Anna! First, you got me worried all day, then you hit me with the tea and cleaned up place, now you sucker punch me with my own fist! All over something you already knew I couldn’t say no to. One cruel kitty cat, doing this to a poor tired man this late in the evening.”

Whatever stress was in her seemed to seep away into the aether as she realized what you said, her hands reluctantly leaving yours to grip at her cup again, draining it in one fell swoop, either to recover her energy or perhaps to finish it before it got cold. Her gaze seemed to soften as she saw you leaning back, tired in body and mind, a much more sympathetic smile growing in her lips, her back slumping forwards, elbows by her knees, a regretful cadence to her words.

”I’m sorry but I just didn’t know how well you would take all of this. I didn’t plan for it to be today, but I… I just couldn’t hold it anymore. I woke up too early again Anon. I just had to.”

”No, no, I don’t blame you. Just… fuck, I didn’t know what to expect. I was thinking it could be kind of anything, you know?”

Her raising eyebrow and head tilt said more in the silence than she could ever express with words, one of your hands gripping at your temples, glancing at her sideways as you went along, numbering out your reasons with your fingers.

”C’mon. Since when has “we need to talk” ever been a guaranteed good thing? I didn’t figure you would dump me, but I still didn’t know what you really wanted, Anna. Especially with how nervous you were at the entrance, how quick you opened the door downstairs, leaving me in with a cup of tea alone, cleaning out the house, you saying you were thinking a lot...”

A flying fist hit your shoulder hard enough to shut you out of your yapping, not quite hard enough to hurt but enough to make her point, your own elbow jabbing her with a tired smile, a beyond sarcastic “Ouch!” ringing out. You couldn’t help but laugh at it, her own mouth now sporting a mild little smirk as she clasped her hands together, turning her head towards you again.

”So… thinking of saying yes? Don’t tell me I went through all of this for nothing Anon.”

You examined your key once more, picking it up between two fingers and letting your stare linger in its curves and edges, your thoughts wandering, meandering through all possibilities. You couldn’t say no, be it because it was Anna or because of whatever else your nervousness and tiredness came up with, but there were caveats to it all. How quickly she wanted for you to come here, how you were going to try and help and she’d probably say she wouldn’t need anything, maybe even a honeymoon period where you both pretended to be something you weren’t. Pretending to be perfect.

You gripped the key in your palm and nodded once, your tone halfway cautious, but unable to hide your tired joy underneath.

”I want to say yes. But I just have some ‘demands’, if you can call them that. Questions too.”

She tensed up as you mentioned the two, biting her lip with a silent nod, waiting for you to speak again. You rubbed at your neck, trying to stay as calm and direct as you could, despite the growing knot in your stomach, not helped at all with her fidgeting legs and moving fingers just outside your field of view, taunting you with how stressed you were making her.

”I’d like to stay nights and mornings, but I’m guessing we aren’t going to be the exact same as we were before. If… if I’m going to be here, I want to contribute too, even if just on the food. I’m guessing we aren’t going to eat takeout every night or just meat, so we should probably talk about that too. And…”

You bit your lip before you spoke again, breathing in deep, the knot in your stomach tightening as you began to talk again, her eyes turning into daggers in the wait.

”And I don’t want for us to change Anna. I don’t want for you to shift into something you aren’t for my sake. I don’t want to never argue, or for you to never judo slam me into the ground like you did before just because I have a key. That’s all I want in order to stay.”

It seemed to take her a few seconds before she acted, yet her eyes were the first to respond, their dagger-like shapes slowly turning back into something much softer, her own nervousness stopping bit by bit, no more twitching fingers, clasped hands or errant legs. You knew what those twitches on her tufted ears meant however, a little secret tick she had whenever she got excited. Often, too excited.

As you saw her breath shorten, her twitching ears become errant, you knew what was coming, right as the rain trying to get in through the window, her smile glowing in a way only she could pull off, smug and victorious. You didn’t even try to brace for it, you let it hit you like a truck, her entire body slamming into yours in one quick motion, her hands pushing your shoulders down, her body shoved onto yours. You could feel her hands gripping at your back as she pinned you down with her weight, the ever present hints of claws tickling your shoulder plates as she seemed to bear hug you, a small toothy grin plastered on her face. The kind of grin that warmed your heart in a way you couldn’t even try to explain. The kind of smile that made it all worth it. The scent of her perfume, fruity and heady, the gentle softness of her fur upon your neck, the heartfelt squeeze she gave you, all of it made it worthwhile…

But you were exhausted, of body and mind, your poor arms giving back a simple hug to her, the soft, unmistakable vibrations of a purr gently rocking right above you, eyes barely resisting for long, even as you tried to fight it. You used the last of your strength to land a kiss onto her cheek, feeling whatever energy was left evaporating into thin air, your arms going limp along with your consciousness, hearing just a few words before you slept, half growled, half whispered to your ears.

“Mine. All mine.”

He was asleep.

It took you more time than you’d ever admit to realize it after he kissed you, your claws and face already half buried into his back and neck before you noticed him so limp, so calm, so… peaceful. His heart barely seemed to beat across his shirt and his face was serene, like he was in the middle of a dream, that big goofy smile of his shining like a star. You couldn’t resist bringing your paw to his rosy face, feeling the warmth, the softness of his skin, your fingers caressing his cheek, brushing past it with the lightest touch you could give as to not disturb his sleep. He didn’t seem to mind, his face gently turning towards your hands as you held him in, the start of a long inhale ending with a soft grumble as you reluctantly let go, his eyes still shut, only the slightest hint of displeasure on his lips. He muttered something in his sleep, but even you couldn’t quite pick up what he said, too slurred by tiredness and the beginning of a snore, echoing out in your ears as he went still, the weight of his arms on your back fading to nearly nothing. Just like yours did, a few weeks back.

You closed your eyes, the memory of that day crisp and clear in your head, something you couldn’t forget even if you tried. The way you were scared of something he never was, your hands and body shivering in fear as his voice talked to you, but not as loud as the thunder did. It flashed, it screamed and then it hit you, the moments of dread before the impact feeling nearly as bad as the hit itself, awaiting that explosion with all the detail your ears could pick up, every rolling crackle of energy, every single hint of nature’s wrath passing by. Maybe that was why he never feared them? Why he never seemed to be bothered by it, except when you were around, acting like a cub to something he laughed, maybe even enjoyed. Humans were always strange, in what they did or how they did it, but above all they were odd in their shape, their faces, their skin, their ears, all so different, so… bare compared to yours. Maybe that was why so few seemed to be afraid, while so many friends or family of your kind feared or respected it. Was it just their lack of attachment to nature itself, a lack of perception?

You shook your head as it was nestled into his neck, breathing in his scent, his light snore ringing in your ears as you felt his heartbeat across his shirt, right into your hands. It didn’t matter.

He was there. There to catch you, to hear you wail and cry, your claws gripping into him like a cheap stuffed toy, feeling them dig into him with fear. He didn’t complain. He whispered sweet nothings into your ears, letting you hold him while he held you back, his hands and arms embracing you as you drenched his neck in your tears, piercing his back with every strike of light and sound. Holding you until there was no more, until sleep came again, his soft hands gliding across your back, sneaking themselves beneath your hoodie, each little finger tracking itself across your coat. It felt good, to be touched…

Even your own hands dug beneath his shirt, feeling every little inch of his skin, soft, supple and bare, exploring him with a guilty pleasure you just didn’t care to feel bad about, falling asleep in his arms as time wore on. It hurt to admit it, but you nearly broke down when you awoke the next day and saw a pillow between your arms, thinking he left you without a trace, only to come back with breakfast made and a little smile on his dumb lips. Your eyes couldn’t help but to turn on the waterworks as you remembered everything else that happened that day. His grip, his embrace, your hand on his as you lead him to your bedroom, how he loved you there until he could no more… The calm as you woke up to make something to eat for the two of you, snuggling into the couch and letting the afternoon go by, locked into an embrace, sleeping to the soft pitter of rain and the mute flashing of a TV.

Paradise. Or at least as close as you could get to it.

Your ears began to twitch as you felt a grumble leave his lips, a mild grunt echoing out amidst the sounds of the rain hitting at the window, his back shifting back and forth. It took you a second before you noticed how you held him, your grip now extending your claws deeper into his clothes, all due to your lovely reminiscing. You wanted to berate yourself, to loudly call yourself an idiot like you did every time he was out of earshot, but that was hard to do while laying above him, choosing instead to do something much harder. To leave this moment behind and to get something else done.

Flicking your wrist back into normal, your claws began to recede, your arms gently sliding from behind his back, body rolling off him to the side and standing up beside the couch. You gave a quick look back to him as he grumbled, grabbing a pillow and holding onto it as he calmed back again, a little smile spreading on your lips as he began to snore once more. For as much as you wanted to stare and gawk, getting enough material to brag and mess with him with later, you still had a few things to do for today, your mind whirring itself as you walked towards the kitchen as quietly as you could. A quick look at the state of it would give anyone the illusion you had it cleaned and operational, ready to cook up a hundred meals lickety split, but you knew better. The countertop was pristine but the shelves and fridge were bare of anything actually edible for anyone but yourself. Humans liked variety, greens, reds, yellows and sometimes even whites, purples and blacks. You had some oats, eggs, enough meat in the fridge to seem like you mauled a deer to death and a few protein bars and shakes, even if the latter weren’t quite liquid yet, but nothing you would really call “dinner worthy”.

Your lifestyle demanded a fairly strict diet sometimes but you never minded it, with friends like Anon giving you the occasional spice of life on what you actually ate, more varied cheat meals always available within the week. Now was the time where you wished that spice had rubbed on you much more, your hand scratching at your nape as you racked your scrambled brain, trying to think of what to order as you pulled out your phone. Couldn’t just be pizza, right? Too light, not serious enough for the occasion, and you had that every time he came around. Chinese was better but eating out a takeout container just felt wrong for the kind of day it was, even if both of you liked it. Tacos were too crumbly and silly, the chicken place was a bust since the start of winter, sushi was a joke altogether and last time you had takeout Indian, you nearly missed a competition because of food poisoning.

That left you with the local burger joint, a more “hipster” like place with a few too many bearded idiots to your liking, but good enough on the food to be worth a try, even if not your first pick. Meaty enough for you, good greens and yellows for him and according to the app, delivery was quick enough and barely cost you a thing, even if you couldn’t say the same about the burgers themselves. You swiped yourself an order and slid your phone into the counter, leaning to it with your back as your eyes stuck to the ceiling, a few other things of importance stuck to your mind. Food was now out, and that left only the now and the close future, or more exactly, his stay today and all the other stays from now on. While he was already snoozing over in the living room, that wasn’t exactly where you wanted him to be for long, a little smile forming itself on your lips as you breathed in, eyes glued to the hallway past the door. You still couldn’t believe he actually said yes…

You didn’t expect him to refuse, but the more pessimistic side of you was half expecting to go to bed alone with a pillow to cry yourself to sleep on, after you did all of this. All the cleaning, all the sparkly shiny counters, the scent of chemicals still searing your sense of smell just lightly enough to make it an annoyance. The stress and final touches that something like this always needed at the last moment, man, and when he rang the bell! You ran across the hall by instinct alone, your trembling fingers stabbing the poor button faster than you could react, hesitation being the only reason you didn’t even try to greet him over the speaker, staring at his puzzled face by the camera screen. Of course he found it strange, you’d messed with him so many times before it was a habit for him to pull out a phone and wait out your mockery, sometimes even texting him as he stood there! And today, you decided to make it all so quick, all so *perfect*, as if it wouldn’t be so odd after the two weeks of mostly silence, as if you didn’t miss him to bits, as if you didn’t remember that day like it was happening right now!

But you did. Every detail, every second of it vivid in your memory like it just happened five minutes ago, as if it wasn’t over two weeks between it and now with only one visit, a few phone calls and chats to make up for it. A deep breath found itself leaving your mouth as you stared at the ceiling, a pout slowly forming itself on your lips as you frowned at your own mistake. You were the one who decided to take it slow, to leave some space to think and the one who messed up, but at the very least you could salvage it now, bit by bit. A pair of fingers found themselves on your brow, rubbing at your temples as you felt your ears fluttering with a hint of a migraine to come, your thoughts interrupted by the buzz of your phone, lighting itself up with a notification.

A quick swipe upwards snapped you back to reality, as what you believed to be your short moment of thought turned out to be over 20 minutes of wait time, just enough to have the poor delivery man downstairs and texting you through the app about which button to press. You didn’t even think it through but the poor guy was probably soaked teeth to toes, throwing him a quick apology text as you buzzed him in and reached for your wallet, pulling out an extra tenner for his troubles. You decided to go downstairs and apologize personally, packing your phone and opening the door, slamming it behind you as you went downstairs to meet the soaked stranger. God, this was going to be awkward.

The loud slam was enough to bolt you upright from your sleeping spot, your arms around a pillow as you moved upwards by instinct, your senses still trying to reboot themselves. You rubbed out your face and slapped yourself to wake up, blinking as you gave a look around the living room, confusion racking at your tired mind as you heard the pitter patter of rain, the TV still glowing out with a random show, as silent as it started. Did Anna just leave you here?

You steadied yourself up from the couch as you let go of the pillow to check on your phone, with you estimating about 15, maybe 20 minutes having passed since the talk, your eyes darting to the entrance, brow furrowing as you started to think. You still felt warm, the smell of her perfume still lingered in your clothes and you swear you could even feel a faint bit of pain on your back, just like the kind she gave you with her claws, even if you had no memory of it today. Did she just do that while you slept? If she did, why the hell would she leave right after? The questions kept piling on more and more before you heard a metallic whirring and clanking, familiar yet different, a much softer voice echoing out into the room from the entry hall, rambling aloud as you heard the door swing open and close again.

”That poor guy, of course I had to order while it’s pouring out there, good going Anna! Just couldn’t cook something in here, had to make the poor dude bike out in this weather instead of going to the grocer’s. Urgh, you’re a mess.”

The dry chuckle in your throat came in naturally as you overheard that, her footsteps pausing as she seemed to hesitate, calling out your name from the hall.

”Anon? Was that you?”

You leaned back into the couch as you nodded to yourself, a little smile slowly rising on your lips as you delayed your answer, playing with her just a bit before you spoke.

”No, it’s your local pantry phantasm, you forgot to feed me my ghost peppers. Who else could I be Anna, are you hiding someone under the couch?”

A relieved sigh was all you heard before you saw her by the living room’s entrance, sporting a heavy duty plastic bag on her hand, its greenish color contrasting with the more muted black and silver of her coat and clothes. You could see the tinge of shame on her face, her free hand rubbing at the back of her neck as she looked at you, flashing a half-hearted smile and a lifted bag, a quick glance given to it.

”Nearly thought I went crazy for a second, I was expecting you to still be asleep. Got us something to eat and was about to try waking you up, but I guess it’s less work for me, huh?”

”Yeah, I just woke up like a minute ago. You tackled me something fierce, you know? Swear I feel something on my back that’s just off…”

You motioned her over, her body slumping back as she plopped herself next to you, bringing out cardboard boxes and a few drinks from inside the bag, a few packets of sauce spread out across the table. She didn’t seem to react right away to your jab, but you could tell she was nervous, her hands forming a ball as she rubbed them together, the faint glimmer of a fang on her smile shining out against the flashing TV.

”I have a habit of that, don’t I? I should probably stop doing it.”

”You probably should, honestly. I thought you did judo and such, not rugby, have you been sneaking some lessons while I was out?”

The dry “har har” was followed by her motioning towards the food, grabbing herself a triple layered monstrosity of a burger and chomping down as she leaned back towards the couch, humming to herself.

”Weren’t Humans the ones who said Hell hath no fury like a woman?”

You shook your own head, grabbing out your own piece and biting down, eyeing the news for a moment.

”Like a woman *scorned*. I’d expect a kiss or a hug from saying yes, not a broken rib, Anna.”

Another bite of her own, raising an eyebrow and twitching her ears, a slowly forming grin showing itself.

”And here I thought you said something about your back just a minute ago. Sounds like I hurt your ego more than I hurt your head. Or maybe it’s your ass this time?”

You elbow her out of another one of her smug streaks, biting down again into your own meal and sipping on your drink, your eyes darting back to the cup of tea, realizing something was missing. Where the hell did your key go? Your poor attempts at looking inconspicuous got noticed immediately, her eyes sizing you up in barely a few seconds as you looked around, ears flattening themselves against her head.

”Is… something wrong Anon? Did I push it too hard with the ass thing?”

Your eyes widened as you put down your meal, shaking your head profusely, gulping down saliva and nearly choking on it as you cleared your throat.

”No, je- no, no! You just… tackled me when I had my key in my hand, got no clue where it went. Tried to be sneaky about it just so I wouldn’t alarm you, that’s all. Guess I failed that, huh?”

”Oh… Well, it’s probably between the pillows, no big deal. We can just fish it out later, right?”

You nodded as you kept on eating, your thoughts turning inwards as you thought of tomorrow, hell, as you thought of today. She wanted you in for the nights and for the mornings, but what were her plans? Were you two just gonna bum it on a couch like some teenagers? Was she ready to get closer? Did she even want you in today or were you two just here to talk? As you took another bite out of your meal and eyed the muted TV, both its flashing lights and the scrolling text, your eyes wandered over to Anna once more, tilting your head up before you spoke.

”I know we should probably wait until we both finish up, but do you mind if I just ask something quick?”

She put down her own meal and nodded, elbows by her knees and chin by her hands, giving you a soft smile.

”Knock yourself out. We got all the time in the world to go back and forth. Well, at least until you sleep, then my time to answer and ask gets cut short, yeah?”

You couldn’t help but to rub at the back of your neck, staring above as you tried to let the words out, a frown in your brow.

”How do I put this… I’m guessing you want me to stay the night? *This* night? So, do you want me to just sleep here on the couch, would you rather I slept in your bed? Do you want me to stay the morning, maybe cook something up? I can sleep here in the living room if you want, I just-“

The soft grip of a hand on your shoulder snapped you out of your rambling, your head turning to face her, amber eyes staring at you with a sympathetic, if embarrassed look.

”We both suck at this Anon. You know we do. So… let’s just take it step by step, okay? If you feel comfortable with it, you can sleep with me in bed. If not, we can do it here. If… if you want to sleep alone, or leave, that’s okay too.“

Her grip on your shoulder tightened for a moment before letting go, smile widening just slightly as her eyes drooped down and stared at your chest, her tone halfway between breathless and nervous.

”I- I appreciate it, a lot. Trying to talk it out, even if it’s hard and awkward, seeing what I like or don’t. Thank you.”

You could feel the hint of a red tint on your cheeks as you saw her lower her head, a nervous laugh emerging out of you by pure instinct, your eyes doing their best to meet her own, or at least to stay on her, avoiding the temptation to look away like a school kid.

”Man, we really do suck at this, don’t we?”

”Like two vacuum cleaners, Anon. It just never stops sucking. Industrial levels of suck.”

”Heh. So, I’m guessing that’s a yes on the sleeping overnight and staying the morning?”

”Yeah… it’ll be a meaty breakfast though. I kinda forgot to buy something to fit your tastes I guess. Humans like a lot more vegetables, bread and stuff, right?”

Your hands waved out into the air, your shoulders slumping as you shook your head.

”We do fine with some eggs and bacon, don’t worry. Not like we’ll starve from just eating a steak at dinner or something, I’ll manage.”

A long, shaky breath was all she let out for a while, taking a few seconds to compose herself, eyes stuck to the table.

”Alright, that’s good... I’ll get something tomorrow then, something with a lot more greens and such. Have to get used to cooking with more Human stuff, I’ve been slacking on that department. Slacking a lot, really.”

It was your turn to rest your hand on her shoulder, shaking her just enough to get her attention, amber eyes aimed squarely at you now.

”Hey. Going from omni to meatatarian for a little while won’t kill me Anna, I’d rather that over going vegan. We can deal with all this stuff tomorrow, one step at a time. How about we just finish up and go rest, I’m still kind of beat.”

”That sounds good. Might want to finish eating before it gets cold from us yapping so much, right?”

”Yeah…”

As the two of you ate your meal in silence, you could feel a slow shift happening in Anna, the mood in the room lightening itself by the minute and turning heavier in other ways. Her fidgeting had almost entirely stopped by the time you finished your burger, only the occasional burst of rain from the outside earning a flick or two of her ears, just a few moments of distraction at best. Even her posture seemed more confident now, alongside her manners, sneaking in a few sips of your drink while she thought you weren’t looking, a far cry from how she was at the entrance just a half hour or so ago, barely keeping it together. It felt good to see her back at her confident self, to see her smile as she snuck out a few of your fries and pouted as you stole twice as many, calling you a little handsy thief as you called her a terrible drink handler, just like way back when.

You knew these weren’t those times however. You could see the way she pulled the punch she threw at your shoulder, the way she leaned into your push, the toothy smile she wore as she saw you smile back, and the way you melted as you saw her look at you like that, your eyes watering themselves just a little. You missed her. You missed her more than you might have ever realized or ever admitted, more than you could ever admit to her. Your heart beat harder, and you could feel that warmth in your blood, coursing through your veins, your arms, your cheeks. You must have looked like some rosy idiot as you stared at her with a smile, her head resting on your shoulder, with only the light sound of a purr and the drizzle hitting the window to finish the scene. You didn’t have the heart to push or pull her away, instead, your hand crept its way towards her own, gripping it softly as you whispered aloud.

“You look beat Anna. Wanna go sleep now?”

She didn’t say a word, only closing her eyes and nodding ever so softly, her grip on your hand tightening as she lifted it up, signaling you to move. You steadied yourself and helped her rise as slowly as you could, your own eyelids starting to become heavier as you felt her nudge you towards the door, her feet shambling without any real trace of tiredness. It was odd to see her act like this, but you didn’t have the heart to kill the moment, matching her pace as she left the living room and went across the hall, towards the white door at the end of it. Her room. The one place you had never gone to until about two weeks ago, despite knowing her for over a decade, a small smile coming onto your lips and widening onto her own. As you two stumbled into it, it was her paw that turned the handle, letting you see it as you had before.

The rest of the house may have been spotless, clean and crisp with a nice soapy bath and a chemical aftershave, but her room was still the same in all the ways that mattered. Posters of rock and love ballads in the walls, weights and snack bar wrappings on the floor, a dinky laptop and its desk on a corner, her double bed on another, adorned with two sheets, one white, thin and plain, the other pink, thick and fuzzy. A single glass window, the rain plinking onto it harder now, halfway covered by some curtains. Her room, filled with everything she truly cared about, shown without hesitation or remorse, leading you to it by hand, wanting to lead you to it every day and to see you leave it every morning. You gulped down the knot in your throat as you saw her eyes staring at you, a weak smile on her lips, a single nod from your head. Satisfied, she leaned into you more as she stumbled into the room proper, avoiding kicking or stepping into anything on the floor and sitting on the bed with you alongside her, eyeing her knees before she spoke.

”I… I guess we should make rules? What side you prefer, do you want to get close, would you want a divider maybe? I didn’t plan this, so-“

You squeezed her hand, letting her speech end before it got anywhere further, your eyes stuck to your own knees, halfway dreading the moment. You two had to do it, to get it over with, biting your lip as you furrowed your brow.

”I want this Anna. You want this. Unless you have something you’d rather I not do, well… let’s just be ourselves. I don’t want to feel like we have to make ‘codes’ or pillow signs if we just want to be together. That’s not right, is it?”

A wave of undeniable relief is let out with a tired sigh, left to hang in the air for moments and moments, her eyes and smile aimed at the ceiling, only the vaguest thread of embarrassment on them.

”You’re right. I just have something I do that you might be a bit freaked out over. I understand if you don’t want to do it but, I’d like it if you heard me out.”

She takes another deep breath, her tongue wetting her lips as she eyed the pillows, her grip on your hand stronger, her voice between confession and pleading.

”I sleep naked. I know you Humans like to wear your pajamas sometimes, but I’ve just gotten really used to it. And… I know I might be pushing it but, would you mind trying it out, for me? I just want to feel you. And- and for you to feel me.”

The grip on your hand and the leaning onto your shoulder only grew harder as you sighed, staring at the sheets between your legs, thinking of what to do. It wasn’t about just being naked, it was everything else around it. On a couch or beside it was a key, something light and yet so heavy, and a list of wishes and demands, with your own scribbled on top. A contract forged on trust, weighing you down more than just the shaped jagged iron, it weighed you down on things like this as well, consequences of love, perks and benefits, questions and concerns. Was this going to be how you slept and woke up now, every time you were around, or was it just for today, a special occasion, a treat? Did you want to be naked with her, really want to, or did you just want what came of it, if it even came to that? Was she nostalgic of that day, wanting to repeat it and making an excuse, or did she truly want to be with you, in her real comfortable self?

You knew the answers to these questions deep, deep down, but the more you thought, the more you knew how long you were taking, her eyes gliding down unto your face and forcing you to act, even if just to save your own skin. You raised up your head from its lowered hang, taking in the air, the sound of the plinking rain, the way she leaned into your shoulder and gripped at your hand, your voice coming out weak and timid. Afraid of hurting her, or to disappoint, even if it was the truth.

”I… I’d rather if I kept something on Anna. It’s late, we’re both tired, and I’d rather still have something out of habit. Maybe tomorrow we can try it, but right now I’d like to keep something with me, even if it’s just a shirt or, y’know... we don’t have what you have.”

She stood still for a few seconds, the tension in the air thickening until you felt her head bob up and down on your shoulder, her voice ringing out amidst the plinking of rain outside. Not offended, not disappointed, but softer than she usually was, a hint of melancholy ringing out.

”Mmm. I can still hold you like that, yeah… Sorry if I pushed it, I just- I don’t know what’s okay and what isn’t anymore. I’m so used to nothing being taken so seriously, of messing around but now it’s all so different. So complicated.”

You couldn’t help but to nod along, your free hand rubbing itself on your neck as you breathed out, forcing a little smile.

”Feels like treading on eggshells, huh?”

You turned to meet her face, or what little you could see, but you spotted what mattered. A smile with her eyes, and a sadder one with her lips, blinking slowly, heavily, and leaning more into you.

”Like a field of mines. I’m just glad you aren’t exploding on me. I didn’t *expect* you to, but I’m afraid. Grateful, but afraid.”

You took a few seconds to process that information, letting it stew inside you before you uttered any nonsense or stupidity. Fear was the last emotion you ever really knew Anna for and yet the one you met face to face with those two long weeks ago. Your eyes traveled back to the window behind you, the rain never stopping for a second, yet thankfully you never saw any flash or heard any rumbles, your mind slowly put at ease. Or as close to at ease as you could get in a situation like this, the tension thickening and dissipating like the ebb and flow of the tides, “stuck” inside the house of someone you loved. You had the option to keep quiet or to speak, but it just felt wrong to leave her hanging after something like that, only proving her point of being careful, of it being a minefield. Closing your eyes, you felt the now familiar feeling of a knot forming onto your throat, whispering beyond it, your words ending more honeyed than you expected when you spoke them.

”It’s complicated, but there’s good stuff in it, I guess. I’ve missed you too, you know? And I think it’s worth it, being here and having all this talk, if I can be with you again.”

You made your point clearer by squeezing her hand, the tell-tale sign of a purr slowly rising from her, leaning in harder from your words, amber eyes staring at the wall, even if jagged.

”I’ve missed you too… a lot. I just don’t miss these talks since we both suck at them! I want to be like I was before, punching you and joking and playing around, shit talking one another for fun and eating some take-out but it’s all so… draining now, y’know?”

She pauses for a moment, her mouth left open, hesitating, licking her lips and speaking once more, treating each word with more and more caution, every syllable uttered like a cat treading on a creaky board.

”If… if I can be with you, and if you want to stay here, I guess it’s worth it. We only gotta set boundaries once, maybe twice, right? See how we feel, what we want to do, then just… do it. See if it works, and hope for the best?”

You felt yourself nod out of instinct, your eyelids drooping down as you breathed in, barely moving upwards as you spoke, the tiredness finally starting to hit you hard, mixed in with the soft purr on your side.

”Hmm. I think us going through and trying to do it right is good. Talking, compromising and all that, so it works. I’m just tired of talking for now though, do you mind if we just sneak beneath the sheets? I think I’ve been awake for like… fuck, I don’t even know. Too long.”

The barely filtered giggle by your ear told you everything you needed to hear, but the soft nod was appreciated regardless, her lean slowly shifting out from your shoulder even if you could tell it was reluctant at best. Looking around, you didn’t spot much of a place to drop your clothes at, at least in a spot where they could remain halfway decent for tomorrow. Bed was no good, ground was a no pass with how dirty and cluttered it was, but at the very least her desk could have a spot in the corner, or at the seat itself, your ass trying to shuffle itself towards it. It was only when you felt yourself woozy when upright and gripping the wall for support that you felt Anna’s firm grip on your sleeve, and the disapproving shake of her head as you turned.

”You’re like a zombie you dork, and I will not have the walking dead in my apartment. Sit down, get undressed and I’ll put your clothes over there, okay?”

You wanted to fire off some joke or retort, but your mouth merely let out an incoherent grumble, your brain not wanting to cooperate or to even try to negotiate a deal, leaving you even more exhausted than you were before. Defeated, you started to pull off your clothes and set them right beside you, Anna only at the very corner of your eyes as you took away your shirt, having gone up by the desk instead of by your side. It was easy to forget how she was, but the moment she pulled out her hoodie you were clearly reminded of her physique, cleverly hidden. Despite the fluff and the fur, you could see her sideways profile and the toning she still had when it became thinner, the lines showing just enough to imply what went on when the fluff started to rise and where it became hidden to you.

Human skin and muscle showed off more of course, and it wasn’t as if she was packing 8 buns on the navel and artillery battalion on her arms, but the way her frame was built? Lithe and thin, feline in all aspects and yet undoubtedly athletic, with some serious effort kept towards maintaining it, even as your food binges racked on over the weekends and tried to ruin it all. Even tied all together with petite breasts, typical of gymnasts and acrobats, barely a handful in size, if that. You are reminded of why she used her hoodie so much before now, her words going more or less to the effect of ´It keeps eyes off, people think I’m weaker and it’s comfortable so why not?´, something you couldn’t disagree with much, considering how even you forgot how strong she really was. You quickly realized just how much you were likely staring, feeling a sharp sense of guilt hit you as you hurry to fold out your shirt and to ditch your pants, emptying out their contents before folding them beside the bed. In truth, you were too tired to really stare with any intent or to get any ideas at all, merely grunting as you finished your undressing and set it folded beside you, your elbows by your knees, arms crossed as the tiredness hit you harder and harder by the second.

She was like a blur, passing right by you and collecting everything, dropping it ever so gently by the desk and coming back. Her paw rested on your shoulder, barely weighing anything and yet it seemed to sink in, warm and fuzzy.

”Hey, usually you sleep *beneath* the covers, y’know?”

The air blew out your nose harder than you’d ever want it to, a few chuckles rising deep from your gut as you nodded, eyes barely open.

”Yeah, I know. Just give me a second, okay? Been a long day.”

Her paw patted you on the back before leaving you, her footsteps ringing as she circled around you, the unmistakable sound of shuffled sheets ringing in your ears, alongside a weight thrown to the bed. She always did like to fall into the couch rather than to sit down, your own approach much more dull, scooting over to your spot and opening up a crevice, slinking beneath the cotton and fuzz and feeling it hit you like a train. The soft scent of lavender above you, the surprising weight it had despite it being only two layers, and as you scooted over more to the middle with your head resting on the pillow, you felt the unmistakable feeling of a lynx woman holding you with her arms, her hands stuck your back, your face buried in her neck. The smell of strawberries filled your nose almost as much as the fur filled your face, deep and warm and soft, pulling itself closer as you closed your eyes, giving a weak embrace back. The gentle, unmistakable sound of a purr rang across your ears and was felt across your skin, reverberating from her as the rain still hit the window, plinking into the background. It was too much for you to handle, too much for you to try, your closed eyes feeling heavier and heavier as you went limp, breathing out your last sigh before you rested for good…

He was asleep again.

It was difficult to not bite your lip, your entire plan reduced to nearly nothing in just a few seconds, and yet you could hardly blame him at all, letting your arms hold him tight, your hands rubbing at his hair and back over and over, breathing deeply. You wanted to have a moment, to lull him to sleep, to have him complain and wriggle and to give him the same little words that nearly melted you before on the couch and instead, this oaf got into your arms and surrendered immediately, off to dream. You wanted to complain! To whine, to moan, to groan and to grumble, your picture perfect moment ruined, and yet you couldn’t help but to smile, to beam even, holding him closer and closer as you felt his face deepen into your neck. As you felt his hands at your back, your fur clamping down into little mountains between his fingers, as you heard his groans turn to pleased hums and his shallow hold become stronger, as his lips rubbed against your neck, nearly kissing you like you wished he did, his entire body united with yours.

You couldn’t help but to give in, feeling the weight of the world lifted out of your shoulders as you caressed him, as you felt his skin upon your coat, as you felt yourself be embraced without a care, without a plan, pure and simple. No talking, no speaking of boundaries or wishes, none of those stupid things that got between the two of you. Something true that both of you wanted in the end, something you got when you two finally closed your mouths and let each other speak without words, his intent clear even as he slept, same as yours. Humans always had this endless fascination with talking and talking, he wasn’t the exception, but at the very least he could speak without a word. You just hoped he still would when you two woke up, instead of babbling on and on and on.

You shook your head, more out of habit and tiredness than of doubt, your hands finally resting from their caressing, allowing sleep to slowly take you away. He was here after all, and it went well, he would stay for a while. That was all that mattered.

That was all that mattered…

You felt yourself slowly come to as time went on, a numb feeling across your whole body vanishing bit by bit as your consciousness grew. You weren’t quite awake yet, your closed eyes showing you visions and shapes, your mind muddled yet still able to create some semblance of a show, riding the heavy limbo between sleep and reality where your thoughts manifested without sight. As your body slowly rebooted itself, weight was the first thing you could properly feel, something large and fuzzy laying atop your chest and legs. Within seconds, that feeling became more complex, the soft fabric in your back now wrinkled, your mind comprehending it as the mattress and its cover, the fur above you hers, if the soft mass on your own chest was what you thought it was.

You noticed something else then, a small weight pulling itself across your head and towards your nape over and over again, a soft wetness on your neck going up and down, up and down, fur and the hint of whiskers gliding across your skin. Another moment passed and your senses regained once more, the smell of lavender, strawberries and fur hitting your nose like a freight train, your eyes trembling as your spine began to shiver, overloading your senses. Finally, as you felt the weight shift atop you, your eyes began to open, blurry at first, yet a few more blinks managed to get you a clearer picture, first of the ceiling and then as you looked down, of Anna, half buried in the sheets. One hand on your hair, another on your back, motionless as she stared daggers into your neck, trying to avoid your gaze at all costs. Her arm hung besides your head, something she couldn’t even try to remove with any degree of subtlety or grace, and the feeling of her paw going from forehead to nape again and again was-

Oh.

OH.

You felt the shaky exhale of her nose unto your neck as well, a few patches of moisture and heat covering your skin, cheeks slowly turning rosy as you realized what she was doing, clearly awake all the while. Closing your eyes, you breathed in the warm air, glancing towards the window and the dark, cloudy morning skies, a little smile in your lips as you spoke, rubbing at her back.

”I… wasn’t expecting to wake up like that, I won’t lie. Are you feeling okay Anna?”

You could feel the shame in the way her paw removed itself from your hair and limped to your shoulder, barely weighing anything as a soft voice came after, lethargic and regretful.

”No. I woke up my boyfriend by being creepy and doing things I shouldn’t while he slept, and now I feel like a dumbass. You?”

Boyfriend. That word hit you harder than you ever expected it to, feeling your heart race out of fear, out of surprise, out of… something else. You didn’t plan on running, on escaping or even on getting out of bed for now, but it still triggered within you something deep, even as your brain was still rebooting itself out of sleep. She seemed to take note of how you tensed up, her own hand behind your back pulling her closer to your chest, the hand by your shoulder baring a hint of claws. It hurt, not just on your skin but deep within, to feel her like this when just a few moments ago she caressed you without shame or restraint.

As you huffed into the air, you brought both of your arms towards her back and pulled her upwards, closer still to you, planting a quick kiss on her forehead as you mumbled to her ears.

”I woke up like a king. I’m sure your… boyfriend can forgive you, even if you think he won’t or can’t Anna.”

Blushing in Anthros was a complicated thing to spot at times. Usually hard to see unless you hit them hard, and by then you could tell from the eyes, the wavering gaze and more, yet the way her cheeks and her ears flared, the red tint rising upwards towards her tufts and the incessant movement of a nub down the sheets? They told you all you needed to know, feeling her tense body relax into putty, a shaky breath leaving them as they once more buried their head in your neck. Still warm and still wet, you felt the unmistakable feeling of her lips smooching your skin and of the air blowing out from her nose, tickled by her coat and whiskers once more.

”If you say so. I still feel like I should give a little something back, to make it up for it all. Any ideas?”

A few crossed your mind, some more fun than others and yet ruined by reality more often than not. You didn’t quite know what time it was and you had to go to work soon, something which killed any notion of fun you could really try to conjure up, no matter how hard you tried to forget reality. You needed to go but simply didn’t quite know when, and since your phone was likely nestled in your pants out there in the desk, your eyes turned aside to the window once more, properly looking out now. Winters made the nights longer and the days shorter, everyone knew that, but you could still try to gauge the time, your vision relaying to you a simple enough view.

Cloudy skies, still quite dark, and an unmistakable glow from below, signaling just how damnably early it really was. It couldn’t be much past seven in the morning really, the lights tended to shut themselves off soon after, leaving you with a furrowed brow and with a questioning mind. Halfway into your thoughts of when you went to sleep and how relaxed you were despite it being so early, you felt the unmistakable feeling of claw tips digging into your back, her voice bringing you back to reality.

”Hello, Earth to Anon? I asked how I could make it up, don’t leave me on read you dork.”

Your eyes snapped back to her and you let out a sigh, nodding along as you excused yourself.

”Right, right, sorry. Just… thinking about what time it is since I have work in a bit, y’know? I hate to ruin the moment, but Mark’s been an ass about delays lately and I don’t wanna end up on food stamps.”

She tightened her hug on you, her paw-like hand on your shoulder gently sliding its thumb across your neck, her head nodding into it.

”I get it. Can’t be so late that I can’t even cook you something up though, at least let me do that?”

”Yeah… yeah some breakfast would be nice. Most of the time I just eat a sandwich and drink something on the way out, something cooked would be nice for a change.”

”It’s a deal then!” she says, her voice perking up as she slowly loosed her grip on you, hands pushing at the mattress.

It took you by surprise the way she rose up, kneeling beside your legs and simply straightening her back upwards as she stretched and yawned, the blankets falling behind her and leaving her exposed as her eyes closed themselves to the world. She still had some semblance of modesty down there of course, some simple pink boxers to cover her, but up above she laid bare, letting your eyes take in every detail a lot more clearly now then yesterday. The way her coat seemed to have puffed up while you were gone, how it thinned down near her belly and thickened into a fluffy mound between her breasts, fur staying mostly uniform if a bit thicker everywhere else as well. The litheness of her frame was even more obvious now, the small little bumps on her stomach revealed as she flexed in her stretch, her arms raised up high and letting you see the subtle little grooves in her patterns, the peaks as she let them descend. Even her legs seemed thicker than you remembered them being, their coat so thin and small, and yet they seemed to dwarf your own, your eyes drawn to them like a bee to honey.

You were reminded of just why she wore those baggy clothes once more, barely getting a moment of thought before she hopped out of bed and began to dress herself, walking out the door without a care. Blinking out the rest of your sleep and letting your fingers clear out the sandman’s signature, you shuffled yourself out of the bed, holding onto it as you stood once more. Despite your odd start to the day, you actually felt quite refreshed, your mind more alert than usual, your body thankful for the relative lack of moisture and humidity from the outside, even if you felt some on your neck. As you shuffled onwards to her desk, your hands delved into your folded pants, quickly snatching your phone out and typing in your code, your eyes widening with the numbers on display.

Your work started at about eight thirty, but it was barely halfway past six in the morning, your eyes staring out the window in disbelief as you glanced back at the time. It barely took fifteen minutes to walk to work, not to run or jog, just to walk, your mind buzzing as you realized the abundant free time you had for yourself, with Anna long having disappeared from your view. You decided to start slowly, inspecting your own clothes and what you had in your pockets, double checking everything just in case. Not too wrinkled, only a few scrunches on the pants and on the shirt but your mind busied itself with something you wanted to ask Anna about, noting it for later as you dressed yourself up. Checking your pockets, you confirmed your wallet and keychain were still there, the only other key boring a hole into your mind as you begin to walk out the room and into the hall, avoiding all the weights and protein bar wrappers on the floor.

You could smell it before you heard it, meat and something else herbal with the slight sound of a pan being mixed around, a little *crack* once in a while as she hummed a little song. You decided to not push your luck and to interrupt her cooking as you waddled over to the living room, your eyes scouring around the couch. You still did have to find the key to her apartment after all, the damn thing flying out of your grasp as she tackled you out of consciousness, lighting up your phone’s flashlight to try and catch a glimmer of a reflection as you waved it around. It took you a frankly embarrassing amount of time circling the couch and lighting up beneath it, lifting it to double check, searching the remaining floor and more only to lift up a pillow and to find it nestled beneath it, just as you were about to give up. You stared at it closer as you knelt beside the couch, feeling out its grooves and its texture, the hand holding it loose on the couch’s padding. This damn thing felt heavy even if it was made out of nickel, your brow furrowing as you looked upwards, mouthing off a weary “God fucking dammit”. A set of giggles came from behind you, Anna leaning into the door frame and crossing her arms with a little smirk, barely hiding her amusement as she stared you down.

”Need some help or do you think you got it?”

You didn’t even bother to lift yourself up, raising up your fist with the key stuck between your fingers, its tip pointing to the ceiling, your eyes to her face.

”Managed to sniff it out, don’t worry. Wouldn’t want to make your precious lil snout stink of copper and pennies, would we?”

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she thrust a thumb back towards the kitchen, eyeing up the room and yourself with it.

”Oh go ahead and bite me Mister ´I took 15 minutes trotting around to find a key´, you ain’t slick Anon. I’ll bring the pan and the stuff, you sit there and look pretty, okay?”

You threw out your arms into the air as she walked out, plopping yourself into the seat and procuring the remote, turning it on as you pocketed the key and entertained yourself with whatever came onto the news. A bored presenter, some recycled news from yesterday, political drama with a murder, a car crash and the weather to come, rainy and cold for today and the rest of the week as well. Just as you were about to complain, you noticed her coming into the room with a smile and two bowls, the smell of herbs, meat and hot scrambled eggs hitting your nose properly now, the cutlery hanging onto the plates by belief and miracle alone. She placed them both by the table in front of the couch as she eyed out the news, whining in your stead.

”Winter can’t seem to leave us alone, huh Anon? Just has to dump more cold water and shitty wind up our asses.”

You couldn’t help but to nod, motioning her over to sit as you took a hold of your food and watched the news, keeping tabs on the time.

”Yeah… least it seems like the worst of it has passed compared to January. Seems like you got a fluffy coat to protect you though, right? Can’t be worse than me and my birthday suit.”

Halfway into shoveling a fork onto her mouth, she paused, looking you up and down, elbowing at your shoulder.

”This here “fluff” is the biggest pain my ass has ever gotten Anon. Do you know how bad it gets, trying to dry this? I have three hair dryers and a special power extender just to deal with it, don’t you sass me you skinnie.”

You barely manage to get a forkful of your scrambled eggs before you snorted like a pig, your grinning cheeks widening from ear to ear as you chuckled with a mouth full of food, barely managing to swallow before you choked, laughing all the while.

”Pffffft, really Anna? What next, are you gonna call me a pinkie? Naked ape? Flatface sweatmonkey? Cmon, this isn’t the fifth grade.”

Her lips twisted into a tiny smirk as she huffed into the air, glancing towards you before putting down her bowl, eyeing the TV with an unusual focus.

”What, you want something stronger, that it?”

You eyed her up and down and decided to humor her for a moment, putting down your food and nodding as you cracked your knuckles, smirking back.

”Something stronger? Alright, hit me kitty, show me the claws.”

Her ears twitched and moved, an early warning you didn’t heed before you found her arms around your neck and below your left arm, her legs locking down onto your core like a vice, throwing both of you back into the couch’s embrace. She tightened down onto you like a viper, hard enough to restrict you but not quite enough to knock you out entirely, feeling the muscles in her arms around your neck and chest, and the softness of her shirt on your nape and head, her voice pulling you back to the world, cocksure and proud.

”Alright then, skinnie, you wanted it stronger, you’ll get it! Hit me with something good and I’ll go easier, fail and I’ll knock you out before you go to work.”

All you had left to move was your right arm, gripping into her own around your neck and pulling it upwards, managing to get yourself a little more breathing room, your blood pumping as you felt her tighten in return, your grim bearing teeth in return.

”Dirty move from a puffball. What’s wrong, can’t hold back on being a winter coat for the apex predator?”

Your grip on her arm hardened much like her grip on your neck, her leglock tightening around your core as you tensed your whole body up, the adrenaline hitting your heart and mind as you heard her speak.

”Apex predator my ass, you’re being played like a ball of yarn! Good thing you can’t put your hands near your ass, or you’d sling me some shit like a weaker ape, eh?”

An idea started to form in your head, cloudy and unsure, yet your brain began to speak before you could react, your tone as smug as you could be despite the chokehold.

”Course I’m hnng- played like a ball of yarn, you just can’t stop touching me! Don’t tell me I smell like catnip Anna, I can’t handle you being all over me much more.”

”Oh yeah, you definitely smell, you little wetneck. I could smell you from downstairs, you could use a bleach bath!”

”I bet I smell, but you seem to love it so much! Nose shoved right in my neck, just had to get yourself in it. Couldn’t resist, eh small tail?”

You could feel the chokehold beginning to lose its strength yet her legs kept themselves tight around your core, her voice growing more indignant, accusing you with every letter, your own words given back with an ever increasing grin.

”Shaved ape!”

”Furcoat with a lever!”

”Homo-lazyass!”

”Felix Muttonchoppious!”

”Stickswingers!”

”Couch scratchers!”

”You- you..!”

She struggled with her words for a few moments, the strength in her arms waning so much you no longer needed to fight at all, her legs now laying atop you instead of constricting you like a snake, your own hand touching her soft, warm coat and letting out a long, deep sigh. When her voice returned, you could feel the weight behind it, as if she was using the last breath of air left on her lungs to send her message, her chokehold slowly becoming a hug.

”You loveable dumb fucking Human. You stupid, hard assed, bricks for brains. My brick for brains. Mine.”

Aside from her huff, the only sound in the room came from you, your heart rate slowly climbing up and up as the arms once upon your neck began to grasp at you, a paw caressing your cheek, another by your chest. She could feel you, the way your chest rose and lowered and the beating drum beneath the cloth and her hand, spreading it around as to cover it all, the hand by your cheek softly brushing against you, a thumb combing at your hair. It felt rugged, leathery, perhaps the same that a scarred and calloused hand would to a human, and yet it was so soft and caring as it glided across your skin that you couldn’t help but to let yourself be caressed, closing your eyes to the world and letting out a sigh to nobody and to nothing. It was hard to think, even harder to speak after what she said, but you decided to try it without words first, your left hand lifting itself to your chest and laying atop her paw, a low rumble slowly rising from beneath you.

Your right hand grasped at her own, your fingers interlocked, now pushing into your head as you thought of what she said, as you repeated it in your mind, over and over. My brick for brains. Mine. And now the key, and now this hug, and the way you held her at night and the way she loved you in the morning. It felt dangerous to be this loved. To feel the wish in the way she grasped you, some primal fire within you being stoked, something you might not have been able to put out had you not as much control as you did, not as much a burden on you to keep your head on Earth instead of Heaven. You had a job you had to keep, a place of your own to stay at, friends and more you still wanted to be with, and this complicated things, it complicated everything. It was a burden and a blessing, a balance you couldn’t calculate, a commitment, a relationship, an anchor and a port and the more you were embraced, the less you wanted to leave it.

Opening your eyes to the world, you breathed in deep the warm air within the room, basking in the heat beneath you and the comfort in her touch, asking a simple question in the softest tone you could muster.

”So... I’m yours then?”

She took a moment to answer, yet she didn’t seem to be phased, continuing without pause or hesitation, the delay seemingly out of pure laziness and contentment as her voice echoed melancholy and want.

”You belong to yourself. But if you want to, you can belong to me. That’s my offer Anon. I think that’s all I can give.”

”And if I am yours, then you are mine?”

”I’ll belong to you. And I’ll belong to myself first, same as you.”

”We both own each other and we both own ourselves, huh? That sounds nice. That sounds really nice. So, what’s stopping us, Anna?”

This time, you could feel her hesitation, her paw like hands ceasing to move as she breathed in deep, as she bit her lip and gathered breath through gritted teeth. She prepared, and as you did too, you could feel the unmistakable sound in her voice, that emotion, that tone of someone near the cracking point, barely holding on despite having you as a pillar.

”I… don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to act, what to hide and what to show. I don’t know how long this will last, if it will or if it won’t! I’m not always who you think I am Anon. And I don’t know if you’ll like who you chose after a few days. If you won’t just get sick of me after a week, or just…”

She hangs onto that word for what feels like an hour, your mouth ceasing to move from the lump in your throat, her grip on you strengthening despite her words weakening as she whispered.

”If you won’t just tolerate me after a month. Too late to quit or too early to give up, and then you settle. I don’t want to settle for anyone. I don’t want to be settled for either.”

You let her words ferment in your head as your thoughts swirled and coalesced, your face shifting itself into a frown as your eyes scoured the empty ceiling, trying to think of what to say. It was hard to express yourself while cradled, harder to talk with a lump in your throat and downright dangerous to play games with someone like her in a place like this, yet your mind conjured something resembling the shape of a plan. Not a perfect one, not by a long shot, but it was the kind to make both sides talk and yet only leave one as the winner. You planned it to be you and not her, hoping she’d forgive you for it.

As your hands gripped her own, tighter now than before, you let your breath return to your lungs, your head nestled in her chest but your words ringing out clear across the silent room.

”Okay… you have flaws. Nobody is really themselves with friends, but I have a feeling you’ll say your issues are worse than whatever I think they are. So, what if I try and give you one for one?”

”What do you mean? I tell you my issues and you tell me yours?”

”Reverse it. You tell me what you think is bad with you and I… I’ll tell you what’s good. The things I like about you despite what you think is so bad. The things that make me want to stay.”

You could feel her stiffen up beneath you, her breath cut short by a drawn out whine into the air as her paws went limp beside you, the air thickening with regret, tension rising as she spoke.

”But what for? I’m such a mess that I couldn’t even get you any decent breakfast or dinner. Had all day to clean and forgot about something as basic as that.”

Despite the gloom and doom, it was something you could work with, something you could refute, your hands reaching towards her own as you softly caressed them, speaking honeyed words to the air.

”Maybe you are forgetful, but I know you do your own sacrifices too. ‘Anon tomorrow, cheat day, double workout Thursday’, written clean and crisp on a post-it. You’ve been pulling hard just to help me out on my downer weeks Anna, I can forgive a rushed lunch. I’m going to be helping with them anyways, right?”

You could hear the growing frustration from beneath, the way she grunted and leaned in back further, the way her arms gripped at your chest, paws kneading and palming at you as they pressed you down, not to harm, but without a doubt to hold. To hold you very, very tight.

”I’m jealous! I’m possessive! I was freaking out halfway across the weeks thinking you might have changed your mind, maybe gotten a new girl but I kept it quiet. I kept whispering that you were mine after I… I tackled you. As if that wasn’t enough, I knocked you out anyway like a brute! Do you think that’s normal?”

It took patience, care and a bit of previous experience to not allow the sinking claws onto your chest to deter your speech or your mind, holding onto her as you breathed on out, as calm and collected as you could be given the pain.

”I… think I like the possession? Belonging to someone, having them belong to you, that sounds- hrm, good? Too many people can’t even say they want that but you can. You know what you want and fight to get it. I woke up like a king Anna, I wasn’t lying about that, so if that’s how you do things, then… I don’t think I want normal. I think I want you instead.”

As one of your hands raised itself meekly to meet her face, you found it grasped by her own and almost shoved into her cheek, the faint feeling of a vibration beneath you met without a sound, yet the way she held you told you all you needed to know. She didn’t quite stop holding you, but with one arm occupied, the other simply wrapped itself around your waist, her legs tying themselves with yours as she breathed out her final words, bordering on a confession.

”I’m a boring brute Anon. I barely do anything except lift, eat, do some cardio and sleep. I teach people how to punch, kick and throw one another to the ground for a living and go beat up people in tournaments for cash! Do you really want to be associated with me? A girl that barely looks like one, a wannabe bouncer wearing Sunday stoner clothes?”

It was hard to deflect this one, to flip it around and to shine some light in a crack like the others. She *was* rowdy, she fought for a living, and sometimes she really did look like a sunshiner at a Sunday school, yet deep down, you knew you liked her for that, that you couldn’t just brush it aside as if it didn’t matter. You enjoyed her being the way she was, shooting the shit and enjoying the breeze, the way you both could find some common ground and to explore each other’s interests, to have fun and to grow. You still remembered the time she taught you how to judo slam her into a mat like she did to you fifty times before, having her congratulate you as she panted on the ground. Not sad, not angry, but downright radiant for having been able to be beaten by a beginner she taught, for having a friend improve, feeling joy at each other’s success as you lowered your hand to pick her up, sneaking a jab to your gut and an invitation to some eats as a reward. She was who she was, and you liked her that way, your own breath ringing out into the air as something seemed to click in your head.

There was only one real way you could prove your point well enough to matter, your hand by her cheek slowly spreading out and back again, your loose arm hugging her own back, asking a question so loaded she couldn’t help but to take the bait.

”You think I lied about what I said that night, Anna? What I whispered in your ears?”

She didn’t hesitate to bite but her mouth didn’t seem to want to cooperate, her words forming something more akin to loud babbling than anything you understood. It took until you squeezed her hand for her to calm down enough, to breathe and focus, her words slowly regaining some measure of coherence, calm enough to talk one syllable at a time yet letting out little hints of sadness, of sorrow.

”No, I… I don’t think you did. You wouldn’t have done that.”

”Then you know I like you. That I do despite all that. Shit, that I do *because* of all that. If we can be good friends despite all of those things, then we can be something more. If I liked you before but you have some new side, well… I think I’d like to see it. Can I?”

The silence in the room was deafening, and the way she froze up was downright worrying to you. Her grip didn’t cease but it didn’t get stronger or weaker either, stuck in that odd and stiff middle ground. Across the cloth, you could feel her heart beating stronger and stronger still, yet she didn’t say a word, your hand by her cheek brushing it, trying to get some semblance of a reaction, yet all you found was something silent. A wetness, slowly spreading from her eyes and down her cheeks in a simple trail, and a small smile you couldn’t see but could feel, in the way she moved, in the way she talked, a frail tone relenting, confessing.

”You smooth talking, smooth ape. I’ll… I’ll let you see it. I’m just sorry for being such a scaredy cat all the time, but it just gets to me sometimes, y’know? Keeping up the whole air of being tough and aloof, it’s tiring. Really tiring.”

”I think I know. We just have to take it one step at a time Anna. If we both want it, I think we can do this right.”

She nodded in silence as she slowly rose up, your own body being pushed upwards and straight once again, your back still facing towards her chest, and her arms and legs still wrapped around you. It felt good to be hugged, and as she pecked at your cheek from the side, you couldn’t help but to smile even wider knowing she was smiling as well, with only the slight feeling of a wetness by your cheek to sour it all. You didn’t want to ruin the moment, heavy as it already was, but you still had to eat and to get ready for work, your eyes drawing themselves to the clock of the TV, the newscaster still bored out of his gourd. Less than half an hour to go, fifteen to walk, about the rest to prepare. You nudged the paw on your chest as you nodded towards the bowls, an apologetic tone to your voice.

“I really, really hate to kill the moment but time’s running a little short for me, Anna. You mind if we eat up and I get ready to go?”

”Oh, right, right… Yeah, I’m starving too, time to eat.”

The mood lightened as the minutes passed and as you ate up your breakfast with her, isolating yourself in the bathroom afterwards and trying your best to look presentable as the clock ran shorter and shorter on time to spare. Without any hair akin to humans, Anna mostly had brushes that were unfit to your kind of dome adorning, or at the very least, a bit too heavy with lynx coating and silvery grey fur to be usable. You did the usual to try and get yourself ready, splashing some water on your face and trying to sprinkle some on your hair to shape it alright as you finger combed it, picking away whatever remained of the sleepy residue in your eyes and slapping your cheeks to get ready. You picked up some pink mouthwash and started to gargle out whatever trace of early morning breath remained until you heard a knock on the bathroom’s door, Anna’s voice behind it.

”Hey, are you done? I have something for you outside that you’ll need.”

You quickly spat out the burning liquid and swirled it off with some tap water before mouthing off a “Just a minute!”, wiping your mouth and face with a towel before opening the door. She stood right next to it with some kind of perfume bottle in her hands, a pained smile on her face as she raised the bottle upwards for you to see. A label written in a shockingly plain font, the words Scent Nuller popping in as white shapes on a black square, plastered on a yellow-ish glass container.

”This… is something I’m gonna have to start spraying you with Anon. I’m guessing you don’t mind?”

”Do I actually smell that bad that I need something like that?”, you ask, stretching out your shirt as to check, your ego slightly injured. “I figured you were just joking a bit but okay, if your smelling is that sensitive, I guess I can try it. Could have warned me sooner, you know?”

Her face morphs from humor to confusion and to downright shame as she realizes you aren’t joking, slapping her forehead with needless force and whining to the air.

”Right, right, I forgot to tell you this. Head full of air, this one!” she says, shaking it and beginning to spray you with the perfume as she explains.

”This is a smell killer but not like a deodorant that hides bad scents. Anthros have a kind of language of their own, they can kind of tell where you’ve been, with who, when and what you’ve done with smell. Not everything is traceable but a lot of it is, and I don’t think you want to have nosy people asking you about your new date at work, so I figured I’d help you out with that.”

You took her for her word and decided to stand still as she liberally applied it around you, being careful to avoid your eyes and mouth. What felt more curious was just how it truly smelled like nothing at all to you, something that might have come intuitively with the name, yet it felt strange to see something on a perfume bottle that just smelled like… an absence of a smell. Seemingly content with her work, she decided to stash the bottle by her hoodies pouch, eyeing you up and down with a hint of a smile.

”That should do it. Nobody will be able to tell I knocked the living daylights out of you now!”

”Would they be able to tell you head pat and hugged me like a teddy bear without that stuff?”

”Head patting’s hard, but the hug and more? Oh, they’d know Anon, they’d know.”

”That obvious for your kind? Most of us without a coat can only smell if someone’s fresh out of the bath, workout or cologne clearance sale. Nose still works for other things, but not as well I guess.”

The smile on her face widens as she lets out a quick blast of air out of her nose, nodding to you and leaning into the wall.

”It isn’t as great as it might sound. If you don’t use one of these to hide your tracks, everyone can tell a lot by just being kind of close to you, which sucks. You also end up smelling so well that you can feel the lack of hygiene of some people from way too far away to be comfortable with while you are just walking around town.”

You decided to be tactful and to pry just a little bit before raising an eyebrow, absentmindedly checking your phone and keeping your time in mind before you left.

”Any upsides? Sounds like it sucks for privacy but having a good sense of smell can’t be that bad, right?”

She managed to find a little more space for her smile to reach, fiddling with her hoodie’s pouch as she thought it out and spoke.

”Good perfume gets even better. A well cooked steak just soothes the soul when you come near a kitchen. Spring is wonderful if you aren’t allergic and well, there’s an extra thing to it but I can’t talk about it. Not meant to, anyways.”

”What, it’s an Anthro secret or something?”

A glint of teeth slowly rose in her smirk alongside a small, barely contained laugh coming from her mouth.

”I guess you can say that. I’ll tell you when you aren’t rushing off somewhere, but first, here.”

You were halfway into asking what else she had before you felt her push your shoulders down towards her, giving you a simple and quick peck on the cheek before spraying it with that perfume. It looked like she wanted to do more but couldn’t, her eyelids drooping down and her hands forced into her hoodies pouch before letting out a quick sigh, staring into your eyes.

”I don’t think you’d want this stuff anywhere near your lips. Thinking of coming back today or do you want some space? It’s okay if you do, today was kind of… heavy.”

Your hand shot itself up to your cheek by instinct alone, your mind only realizing it after it had become too awkward to hide it or just too late to pretend, your eyes darting to the side as you felt your blood pumping faster into your face. On one hand, it only felt right to promise you’d be back with her and to try and work things out a bit more, to prepare for the future, but the other side of you was cautious enough to win over, offering a halfway point instead.

”I’ll see how I feel after work, okay? It’s a pretty quick hop and it shouldn’t be hard to come in but just in case something happens, don’t be too sad if I miss out. Always have tomorrow, right?”

Her eyes drooped down more and her breathing got deeper yet she didn’t seem to outright complain or even blame you, managing to squeeze out a slight smile despite it all.

”Yeah. We always have tomorrow. Stay safe out there, okay?”

”I will, don’t worry.”

As you gave a real look at your phone, you saw your time allowance shifting into the negatives, your once 15 minute walk now suddenly turning into a 10 minute power walking session, your eyes telling her everything she needed to know as she moved aside, letting you get out towards the door. Fishing the key out from your pocket and unlocking the final barrier to the outside of her home, you were tempted to say something, anything over your shoulder, yet you didn’t seem to be able to find the words, choosing to remain silent as you finally left. You couldn’t sprint down the stairwell but you sure did try to rush on out, your hands yanking away the final glass door to the outside of the building and becoming just another peon on the sidewalks, stepping on the cracked concrete alongside everyone else.

As you spared a look up, you saw the skies turning grey once more, a pang of seasonal sadness slowly spreading itself across your chest, rising to your head and staying there for good. You just hoped it wouldn’t rain too hard. Just hoped you could be there if the thunder struck once more.

As you heard the door to your apartment close, you felt compelled to walk to your room, closing the door behind you and laying by the bed, your eyes stuck to the ceiling. A kind of sadness slowly overtook you as the minutes counted down, today’s morning and yesterday’s afternoon replayed endlessly in your mind like a tape recorder, wearing itself out with use and overuse. Not managing to buy some decent food and stressing him out with a vague text, dropping the bomb on him as he was the most tired he’d been all week, tackling him unconscious? Being caught cuddling him while he slept, grappling onto him as a joke on the couch only to have him cheer you up as you broke down, not even being smart enough to hug and kiss him before applying the perfume? All these little mistakes, all these big ones, they just couldn’t leave your mind no matter how much you tried, your eyes barely halfway opened as you stared into the window, seeing the gray skies and remembering the forecast. Rain to come, cold winds worsening and the weekend a few days away, his commute to his own apartment being less than ideal. It felt natural, tempting even, to ask him to stay with you, to justify it all on the bad weather and the cold, on the good times you could have but you couldn’t do that with a straight face even if you tried.

You fucked up. In almost every step, you’ve made some error, some mistake, the guilt slowly gnawing at your gut, a feeling of dread slowly spreading across your limbs, rising like some foul heat from hell. It felt horrible, like a rising flame that scorched and tainted you, your breathing unstable as you gasped for air, glaring at graying skies. All of this was because you forgot, because you didn’t think or how you didn’t get a hold of yourself and you *knew* before that you couldn’t just wing this, yet you just felt the need to do so anyways. You prepared but not enough, you cleaned but not everything, you got all that mattered in order but then you didn’t make it matter at all, the weight in your chest increasing more and more until you found it harder to breathe and even harder to move, paralyzed by choice and the lack of it.

Splayed out on the bed, belly up and eyes now stuck to the white ceiling, all you had was time and all you could do was to think. To consider, both how you failed and how you could succeed later, ideas forming and flying in your head like fireflies, fizzling out until just one remained and shined brighter than any other. A plan so simple and so plain, something so stupidly basic that it bordered on the obvious, yet it clicked in your head, a little hint of hope to offset the weight on your shoulders. As you pushed your elbows down and managed to sit up, you checked your phone and did some mental math, thinking up just how much time you had until he came. He started at around eight thirty today and left around five or six, giving you around eight to nine hours to work with, maybe another twenty four if he decided to not come today, more than enough to get something started. Pushing yourself off the bed for good, you headed towards the kitchen and grabbed yourself a notepad from a drawer, etching out a list of things to get and a list of things to do, gritting your teeth as the pen dug into the cheap paper.

”I’ll get this done, even if it damn well kills me. I have to try. Do it for him Anna.”

As you walked across the concrete streets, feeling out the early morning air and adjusting your scarf, your mind wandered from the street to her apartment, your eyes glued to the horizon as you mumbled to yourself, head filled to the brim. With every step you took, your thoughts braced themselves between all ways you could act and react, all that had happened minutes ago, a sour grimace slowly overtaking your face as you glared onwards. It was easy to be a coward and to back down, it was easier still to indulge in it and to not care for the consequences, but it was beyond difficult to think it all through and to make the right call, something your brain and your heart agreed needed to be done. You liked her, you missed her and she missed you too, but that just meant you needed to be careful both for her sake and for your own, her admitted flaws burning on your mind like a freshly branded scar. Possessiveness, brutishness, a different side she hasn’t shown anyone else, the issue of her looking like a sloppy teenager, little and big things that piled up to something bigger than all its parts. It’d suddenly become a problem in her head, one enough to say it aloud, and as you slowly walked into your workplace and wrote in your name to the shift, you realized just how much time you had to think it through, and just how unlikely it was that you’d find an answer today.

As you sat back in your cubicle, you weighed in your options. You could come in today, you could come in tomorrow or you could just not come at all, each with its own issues. The latter was terrible in ways you didn’t even need to describe, the second was to be avoided if possible and the first was tempting but required a plan, a concrete idea of what the hell you were going to do, to say, maybe to be even. Coming any later than tomorrow meant more than just a few days of delay, it meant you hesitated while she full on gave you the key, and if not a broken promise, then at least it’d say you weren’t as committed as she was to this, despite how much you liked her. Letting a sigh hit the air, you finally began your workday proper, booting up your cubicles’ PC and letting the old busted machine take its time to boot up, your eyes darting to your phone to check the time. Twenty minutes past nine and only now did it look like your computer was on, a downright miracle none of your coworkers had ratted you out or that a patrolling supervisor had spotted you “slacking off”, your fingers quick to set up the illusion of work, same as every other day.

Open up your X-Cell, load up an existing sheet, save it up and throw in some more numbers, change up the graphs to look newer and your cover identity was done and dealt with, both your mind and eyes drawn out elsewhere from your cubicle. You needed peace of mind, someone to talk to like an equal and to get the hell out of this slave square first however, drawn to the stairwell door like a bee to honey. Nobody seemed to really notice or care, the midweek exhaustion of a Thursday only matched by what came later, everyone doing their best to tune out of existence and to just survive the grind, something you weren’t keen on stopping. As you finally pushed in the door and smelled that stale concrete air, you began to ascend the stairwell, the echoing noise ringing out in the background as you fiddled with your phone, searching for a contact. Finding it just in time, you decide to risk it and to just dial it in as early as it was, reaching the top of the steps and pushing past that little door, the grey open skies and the plain, dirty rooftops greeting you as you held your phone to your ear.

It took more than a few moments for him to finally pick up, the cold winter breeze rustling your hair as you began to hear a familiar voice, muddled with the sound of something being fried and of some show in the background.

“Bonjour! May I ask who is deciding to call so early in the morning? I don’t mind much, but I have to say it’s a bit unexpected.”

You held in your laughter as to how this man you called a friend *still* refused on principle alone to check who was calling every time, clearing your throat and rubbing at your neck, your voice halfway apologetic already.

”Heya Daniel. You got a minute for a friend?”

”For a friend, I always have a minute,” he says matter of factly, the sound of a tv show suddenly vanishing from the background. ”What ventures bring you here today, fellow Monarch? Don’t tell me things went wrong with that woman of yours, wasn’t expecting you to be back here so soon.”

You couldn’t help but to let out a sigh as you looked around the rooftop, checking if anyone else had the same idea. Finding nothing and nobody but yourself, you plop down to the ground by the parapet, a pained smile on your lips.

”It went great and it went bad. This might take more than just a minute, are you sure you can spare it?”

”Some things are more urgent than others,” he says, a tone so light hearted you could almost feel his shrug. “A good man knows his priorities, wouldn’t say I have a minute if I didn’t have an hour and you would not call me if it did not matter. Parlez, my friend.“

Were you not so conflicted or in such a fragile situation, you would be mocking his French shtick to the highest depths of the Parisian catacombs, yet you relented, clearing your throat and beginning as best as you could.

”So, I got there. Cold and rain and let right in when she usually jokes a lot and leaves me there outside the lobby. Didn’t dump me, didn’t cat call me, went in there and shit’s pristine Daniel. I could smell leftover bleach like a Columbians aftershave when he walks past you.”

”You jest,” he says, the doubt beyond obvious in his tone. “Unless it’s a different Anna from the one we spoke about, that can’t be right.”

“It gets better. I come in and she has tea ready. Chamomile, right amount of sweetener memorized, everything ready and get this one: she gave me a fucking key Daniel. Her apartment key. Made me close my eyes and open them as she placed it there like a goddamn movie.”

Were it not for the sound of something being fried beyond your phone you would have figured the line had dropped or that he simply hung up, but he was definitely there, even if he didn’t quite have the words. You heard him stutter, his usual royal shtick halfway broken as he cursed to himself out of pure disbelief, quickly clearing his throat and trying to keep his image up.

”What then? Something tells me that isn’t all you wanted to mention.”

You decided to give another look around the ceiling as you tried to spot any peepers or eavesdroppers, your eyes finding nothing but the gloomy skies above and the grey and glass of the urban horizon, the cityscape clear on your view as its glacial wind ruffled your hair and freshened your skin. You were going to have to tell him the rest, the more personal details, and as embarrassing as they were, you didn’t have anyone else you trusted as much as Daniel. Nobody else to blabber on to but this royal wannabe. You decide to get it over with, the embarrassment in your tone tainted with just a pinch of anger, your fingers pinched at the bridge of your nose.

”After that, I said yes to the key. She was ecstatic, she even tackled me on the couch out of joy and I let her, knocked me out cold! Woke up later to some burgers for dinner and us going to bed together, my head nestled into her neck as she- fuck, as she purred man. She hugged me and her purring lulled me to sleep!”

You could hear him walking away from what you assumed was his kitchen to someplace quieter, his steps ringing out as he moved on along, the sound of a zippo lighter and deep inhale clear on the line, a tinge of disbelief to his voice, laden with sympathy and understanding.

”Merde. You got caught hard, but I thought you wanted to get into the tiger’s den. Having second thoughts? Regrets, fears?”

”I… she wants me there man. She wants me there mornings and nights and her place is even close to work but while I want it to work out, I dunno. I like her a lot, and she likes me too but then we talked on the couch. It got heavy and she doesn’t seem to think I’ll like her for who she really is. I do, or at least I *think* I do, and she wanted me there today but I don’t want to hurt her man. Can you see where I’m coming from, what the issue is?”

The long, drawn out pause of the other side was met with another long huff and puff, his breath lingering in the air as your imagination fills in the blanks, a cloud of smoke in the air not unlike your breath in this winter chill. Another moment and another still of silence, your eyes now glued to the skies as you waited for him to talk, letting the scenery seep into you as you did much alike him, trying to understand this whole mess of a situation. After what felt like an eternity, he spoke up, his tone calm and collected, doused in a heavy dose of understanding, if not outright sympathy.

”I can see the issue, yes. But I need you to understand that whatever I say is not a script, Anon. I’m not the one who slept with her, not the guy she loves, not the man that loves her. Do you understand?”

”I… yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Good. You like her, and she likes you. If you thought her issues were a dealbreaker you wouldn’t be talking to me like that, or asking for me to spot the issue, you’d be making excuses and trying to justify leaving her. With that out of the way, in plain speak, what do you think her issue is?”

Your spare hand rubbed at your temple out of instinct, the memories clear in your mind. You couldn’t forget what she said but parsing through it all was more difficult than it would seem on the surface, his question more specific than what she uttered. Her presentation, her habits, her life. The mannerisms she carried, the personality she had, her possessiveness and her longing, what did they all lump up to be? Could you even sum up the issue in a word, in a term, in a sentence? As you breathed in the cool winter air and felt it across your skin, delving into your bones, your eyes wandered the empty grey above. Every new breath drew in another misty blob in an already cloudy, dark day, your ass the only one up atop of this office, your brain working away as fast as it could to solve this puzzle. Something clicked in as your eyes lowered down to the horizon, your image mirrored in the glassy skin of the opposite tower, a man with a phone, sat by a parapet, a smile on his face.

It was not one of happiness in your lips, but it was close. It was one of understanding. Of cracking a code that could solve everything you needed it to.

“I… I think she’s just scared. I think she really wants me there, that she misses me, but I don’t know what I’m doing and neither does Anna, so maybe all she sees of herself are the bad parts, and she forgets all the nice ones. All the stuff that made her my friend.”

He hums, another drag of something ringing out before he spoke, his words less calculated now, laced with implications.

”So? Does she have a real good side at all?”

”Yeah, I don’t think I’d like her if she didn’t. Known her for so long I think I’ve seen it plenty over the years.”

”Well, say she’s right and she has a bad side? What do you do then?”

”Then I… I guess I just deal with it? I’ve got my own, and I deal with it. It’s what you are doing right now to my stupid blind ass, right?”

The snickering on his end proved to be infectious, both of you laughing as you took in the air, that sense of pressure and stress lifting off your shoulders like a broken chain, slipping by you as the sound of laughter filled the waves and the ceiling. As it died down, you heard his hum of approval, a tasteful pause between his speech.

”Any semblance of a plan yet? You always need a plan for matters like this, mon ami.”

”I’ve got time until then, so I think I can manage one up. And uh, Dan? Thanks. For all of this, I mean.”

”Mmh hmm. Do come and visit me tomorrow if things go well, or even if they don’t. Au revoir and good luck! Here is hoping that you will not need it.”

With that, you hear the unmistakable “Beep” of a disconnect, a breath of air leaving your mouth as you begin to lift yourself up, slapping away any loose gravel or whatever else landed on the floor and onto your clothes.

It wasn’t the clear cut answer or solution you’d hoped to find, but his questions still shed some more light than your aimless thinking, a little conclusion reaching the bigger picture. As you closed the door to the rooftop behind you and felt the stagnant air of the stairwell hit you like a wall, the unmistakable pitter patter of rain started behind you, the warmth of the inside insulating you from the quickly dropping heat. Making your way downstairs and towards your cubicle, you pause by the coffee machine and drank a cup of black, the bitterness and caffeine helping you stay focused for what was to come.

The “quick” detour you took on your way to her place wasn’t as quick as you had expected, your pace heightened as the delay it caused nearly made you late for the time you yourself set up. It was bad enough that your nerves felt overclocked and undercooled, burning at both ends from anticipation and worry, but your pitstop over here took you to parts unknown, relying on phone navigation on a downright pouring afternoon. Keeping it from being drenched while walking unfamiliar streets, reading the directions while the wind nearly blew away your umbrella and the storm soaked your scarf, it was a miracle you even found the place to begin with. Thankfully it was open to business, your little ´gift´ nestled in close inside one of your pockets, her place just around the corner. As you turned around it however, and finally found yourself clear from the rain, it’s little outside roof over you, you came to a realization. An awareness of something so simple, so goddamn miniscule and dumb that you couldn’t help but to smile like an idiot, giggling to yourself like a moron as you pressed on her apartment button, bracing for her questions.

It merely took a few moments of waiting for her to come in and speak, her tone muddled with confusion.

”Hey, is that you Anon? Did… did you lose your key?”

You barely kept yourself together as you uttered the words you needed to speak, a wide, oh so wide grin in your soaked lips, clear on the other side, your smile beaming for the camera as you shook your head.

”Anna, I like you, I really do but you are something. You gave me your apartment key, but you didn’t give me any entrance key! I can’t really get in without that one, you know?”

The long, long silence after was broken by a single “Oh”, your smile only widening as she wordlessly pressed her button up above, the buzzer and the *click* unlocking the door.

You giggled to yourself as you entered the hall and felt the wooden air greet you, a few yellow lights setting the mood to a comfy retreat from the weather. Dropping your umbrella by the can, you took out your scarf and wrung out the water into it, soaked everywhere else, keeping it by your hands as you entered the elevator for once, a small diversion from the usual stairway. Buttons pressed and up a few floors, you find her leaning on her door as if on cue, a different face from the one before. Still in her track pants and hoodie, but her ears were flat against her head, an apologetic smile blemishing her face as she stared to the side, arms crossed and rubbing themselves as if to say sorry, her crossed legs only exacerbating the picture.

”Man, I really am a mess, huh Anon? Can’t believe I fucked up so hard I forgot the entrance key.”

You couldn’t help but to shake your head, slinging your scarf to your neck, pinching out a key from your pocket and holding it to the air, your eyes focusing on its grooves and shape.

”Honestly, I think I would’ve made the same mistake. Sides, this is the one that matters the most, right? There’s always tomorrow.”

Her smile widens just enough before it returns to a much less sad shape, a long blink and a nod enough to make sure your point hits its mark, her body pushing off her lean and back to a stand, eyes drawn to the hall behind her.

”I guess you’re right. Come on in already, you look soaked to the bone.”

She holds up the door for you as you walk on inside, the smell of the place finally resting back to its usual, a hint of a well lived home, the unmistakable scent of fur and the warmth of a well-insulated house in the winter. No chemical aftershave, no more cleaning products in the air, just the same as it used to be. She closes the door behind you and picks the scarf out of your shoulder, feeling it out as she glances at your clothes, soaked in watery stains.

”That rainy outside? I figured you’d be less soaked with the shorter walk.”

”I did a little detour,” you confess, your hand shooting up to rub at your neck, a guilty smile slowly spreading on your lips. “Don’t worry too much about it, I just need to dry it up for a spell. Mind if I hog up the laundry room for a minute?”

”Knock yourself out,”, she says, patting your shoulder with her paw, moving over towards the living room. “I’ll just relax in there for a bit so you can get comfortable, come on out when you feel ready, okay?”

”I will, don’t worry.”

Giving you a quick smile, she sauntered away while you headed to her little laundry room, closing the door behind you as you began to empty out your pockets, your little idea kept within a neat little black box. You laid everything of yours onto the top of the drying machine, stripping yourself almost bare as you shoveled the soaked cotton and polyester into the tumbler, closing its lid and letting it run as you browsed your phone, wasting the time away. It felt strangely normal, doing all of this. The waiting around, the relaxing inside, even if you were down to your underwear and leaned to a wall, browsing your phone as you waited for clothes to dry. Usually, you’d only do this for your jacket or your scarf, maybe a shirt or a pair of pants if you were really desperate, but it just felt like it wasn’t such a big deal now, hanging around near naked in her place. As if it wasn’t just your friends house anymore, but something else, giving you that little leniency few folks ever got. A kind of closeness with perks and cons.

As you stopped browsing on your phone and dressed yourself in the now dry and warm clothes, you couldn’t help but to stare beyond the door, a nervousness piling onto you like a leech, draining your nerve as you pocketed the black box. It was too early to give it to her. Too soon in the day, her spirits were too low and you didn’t quite have a segue for it to happen, opting to bury it deep into your pocket as you headed out the laundry room door and back into her hall. There was the muffled sound of a TV in the air coming from deeper inside, the unmistakable whine of the air currents mixed in alongside a healthy dosage of drizzle, only loudening as you came past the door’s frame.

It was a familiar scene, one you’d seen a thousand times before even. Anna splayed out on the couch, a can of cider in her hand and both her feet on the coffee table, eyes closed and just listening to the sound, sipping her ice cold drink with a smile every few seconds. She barely got the can out of her mouth before she spotted you, motioning with her busy hand to come closer, another drink soon appearing from within the pouch of her hoodie, slung your way as you came closer. It felt ice cold as you grabbed it mid-air, that satisfying frost seeping into your fingers as you let the couch catch your fall, placing yourself right next to Anna, crossed legs on the table, the unmistakable *tchkk* of the can ringing out in the air as you sipped it gently. Usually, winter and the rain had a tendency to kill off the cold drinks entirely, yet the occasional cider in your meetups always managed to sneak up on you, Anna usually footing the bill, a kindness you didn’t easily forget about.

Letting out a contented sigh as she sipped it once more, she bumped her fist into your shoulder, her mood lightening up as she eyed you up and down.

”So then mister office worker, what’s with the detour you had? Don’t tell me some sewer monster started chasing you right around the corner?”

You took a sip of your drink and mouthed off a “Nah” before shaking your head, settling into the couch proper as you focused on the show, trying not to give anything away.

”Just a little errand I had to do first. Not quite chased by a monster bad, but hey, if I’m out of work, five minutes to get what I need won’t kill me. Just the rain that will, y’know?”

She smirked and nodded like a sage, her left elbow meeting the couch’s boxy arm, chin planted on her palm, a raised eyebrow meeting your fake disinterest.

”That so? What’s so *little* it’s worth getting soaked for? Don’t tell me it was printing some stuff, you’d come here with one wet ball of paper to show for it.”

It was hard to really tell if she wasn’t just making talk or was actually interrogating you, her eyes showing little more than that amber like glow you loved so much, only a raised eyebrow to read on her face.

You were never a good liar, or even a good storyteller, figuring you could sneak by with the age old tricks that your forefathers have used for so long. Lying by omission with just enough truth to cover your ass, taking another sip as you sighed out, flashing a little smile at her back. Not as if you were going to hide it all day long anyways.

”I went to a key shop,” you say matter of factly, letting your drink down as you stretched yourself back, a few snaps and cracks relieving your office hunched back. “I don’t trust the local guy after he got told off for doing some shady stuff and had a new guy make me a backup. My usual go-to was getting a bit janky to open the apartment door with, so since it was so close…”

You let your shrug and your silence finish for you, her eyebrow loosening back down as she stretched herself on the couch, a few too many cracks and pops for your liking ringing out into the air, a quirk of her you never quite got. You remembered her mentioning something about double joints, digitigrade stuff and a lot of air bubbles on her knees and fingers, yet it always managed to make you feel uneasy with just how many little crackles she let loose, just stretching out even just a single hand. She quickly finished her lounging, her can quickly sipped as another hand fished for the remote in her pouch and changed the channel to something else, landing on an old action movie rerun. Her face turned to yours as she rubbed her neck with a guilt tainted smile.

”So I uh… didn’t really plan out on stuff to do I guess. You have any ideas? I was thinking of maybe a movie or just relaxing a little bit and some console stuff, but I’m open to anything, so long as it isn’t… that.”

Her thumb pointed towards the window, the sights of darkened skies and the now downright pouring rain being all you could see, the constant sound of the water’s impact thankfully numbed by the now louder and louder noises from the TV. Going outside wasn’t an option and frankly you didn’t really feel like leaving to begin with, and while consoles and chilling with a movie was a classic, it just felt as if something wasn’t quite right. Being so well rested in the morning left you without that usual post work exhaustion and as odd as it was, you felt like you needed to spend some of this energy, to tire yourself out even if just a bit. Your eyes wandered left to right until you remembered her room, your lips curling into a smile as you nodded to yourself, certain of what to say.

“What about just… working out?”

You couldn’t quite see her face, but you could almost feel the baffled expression she put out, her fist colliding with your shoulder faster than you ever expected, laughter ringing into the air.

”Really? Here I was busting my ass out earlier this morning after you left to compensate, and now you want me to bust my ass again? Poor form, poor form.”

You gave her a light tap back and shook your head, your eyes turning back to her room, looking beyond the wall.

”I’m serious. I’m not tired and well, you’ve always been the sportier one. Don’t need to bust my arms out, but hey, doesn’t hurt to begin, right? Like ten sets or something for a beginner, like you gym rats say?”

She stayed quiet for a few more moments, her eyes inspecting you as you turned to her again, eyebrows raised yet no scowl or pout to be seen in her face, just a cautious curiosity.

”Are you really sure? No way am I making you do ten sets of anything, you’d rip yourself with any actual weights. Maybe four with some alternation. Don’t think I’ll go easy on you just because you’re here, I’ll teach you, but you better pay attention.”

”I promise,” you say, mock saluting her as you get yourself up. “Ready and able to begin my bootcamp Seargeant Tufts. Just gimme the orders.”

A sudden smile cracked through her poker face as she raised herself up and patted you on your shoulder, walking out the room and speaking as she passed. “Stay put nerd. I’ll be back in a second with your stuff.”

She took considerably longer than that until she returned, the few minutes spent idling on your phone quickly ended as she walked back with a couple of plate loaded dumbbells and a bottle of water tucked in her armpit, eyeing you up and down.

”Alright Mr. Workout, I just have one rule this time. If I’m teaching you, nod and wave and that’s about it, okay? I’ll answer your questions, but just let me do stuff properly, don’t want you smashing your foot with these and cracking the ground. My session, my rules.”

”Ma’am yes Ma’am” you say, skipping the mock salute and reaching for a dumbbell, finding it quickly leaving your range as Anna takes a step back, shaking her head with a smirk.

”Calm down Monster Macaque, I need to know how much you even go for. These things are loaded with about 35 pounds but I’m thinking of slapping you down for 20 to make it easier, maybe 10 for proper form. How sore can you be tomorrow?”

You checked your phone for the current day of the week, with Friday right around the corner and straight into Saturday. Your ´work´ was practically devoid of any actual labor, and aside from going and pushing a door and punching your card, you weren’t the most active person in the world, giving the Lynx a quick shrug.

”Probably broken arms sore, I’m guessing. Not like I’m hauling crates up stairwells, just boring old X-Cell.”

The grin in her face was crystal clear then, downright wicked, slinging the water bottle into the couch and muting the tv, letting one of the dumbbells lay there as she raised the other towards you, waiting for you to take it. Not a single plate removed, not an inch of it altered, your mind urging you caution as you took both hands to grasp as it properly, feeling its weight immediately as you managed your grip on it. The rough bar felt almost prickly, the little carved grooves and etches for your grip settling in with your palm, fingers curling around it and letting your arm get comfortable with the sudden shift, left alone to carry the burden. Anna herself shifted as well, taking her spot behind you and letting her head rest on your right shoulder, left arm hooked onto your stomach, right one gripping your own with a distinct care, a hint of softness in the way she went about it. Not an inch of her claws bared and yet she seemed to almost embrace you, your back being pressed against you as she held, eyes stuck to the dumbbell.

Her hand slowly slinked down to your own as she shifted your arm, settling for ghosting its position and cradling your hand before speaking into your ear.

”Listen close, okay? This is a palm up curl, simple stuff, go down as much as you can and then lift it up straight. Form is all that matters, a shitty curl does you nothing and tires you out, so I’ll just help you in the first few and then you’ll do the rest yourself. Sound good?”

”Yeah, sounds good,” you said, tightening your grip on the handle as you began to feel its weight sinking in proper, a mild sense of regret springing your comment on broken arms. “How many should I be going for? Maximum?”

”You’re new, I want you to get into it, not with an injury overworking yourself! A set of ten should be more than fine to show you the ropes, maybe five sets total on each exercise. If you are still up after that, we’ll see how you do. Now shush and feel it.”

You quieted yourself as you felt her push your arm upwards, your own strength complimenting the movement, feeling the iron plates touching your chest as you slowly got a hang of the motions, letting it lower back down so you could go again. Her strength was slowly less and less present as you did your reps, reaching your tenth and feeling her guide your hand to your other arm, switching her setup to mimic your own, right arm hugging your core hard, left arm ghosting your own.

It felt strange, the way she was so close to you. She could have just inspected you from a bit away, shown you with her own form, given you a side by side as you both did it together but instead, she downright cuddled you upright, feeling her pressing onto your back as you both lifted together. Her chin rested in your shoulder, no doubt smiling as she focused on your form, correcting it as it became harder and harder to bring the weight up, only giving a little hint of help to let you complete your sets, each done one after the other, your poor arms feeling more and more strained by the moment. By the fifth set, it was downright impossible to move, her hand grasping onto yours and gently grabbing the weight off your hands, giving you a quick pat on your back as you slumped down to the couch, running your hand over your sore muscles.

”Not bad at all for a first timer!” she says, a grin solid on her face as she opens the bottle of water, taking a sip before offering it to you. You didn’t hesitate and took a long couple of gulps, feeling the freshness course down your throat, a few beads of sweat forming in your forehead as you felt the blood rushing through you, the small respite letting you feel out your muscles. You were a fairly relaxed man, all things considered, office work for a job, not an early morning person or a jogger, all things that made the touch of your sore arm feel even stronger. You knew it took longer than just this to grow, but feeling your muscles larger and fuller, it filled you with a strange kind of pride and satisfaction despite the mild pain, your fingers gently coaxing out the tension as you felt the blood rushing over your arm.

”Feeling sore or just a little lifters high?” she asked, pushing your shoulder around. “Either’s good you know, but you aren’t done quite yet. Think you can do the other two set groups? Gotta work out the rest of your stuff.”

”Think I’ll be fine,” you lie, massaging yourself as you glance at her, a sheepish smile on your face. “Is it… meant to feel this good? I swear, running and all that other stuff felt way worse when I tried it.”

She didn’t even try to hide the smile on her face as she stole the bottle from you, taking a large gulp before settling it aside, nodding with a twinkle to her eyes.

“Working out with people helps a lot. Friends, family or… something else to go along with you and to push each other up and through the hard parts. Least that’s how I see it.”

You couldn’t help but to nod along and smile, leaning back into the couch and willing to delay your self-imposed torture for a few minutes more, trying to spark some kind of conversation to spare your poor arms from this self-imposed suffering.

”I remember running with people I liked but it still sucked hard, swore they jammed a knife in my gut every time. Maybe it’s just a guy thing, liking to lift weights more than running?”

Her shrug was nothing short of grandiose, shoulders rising and slumping themselves into the air as she fell into the comfort of the couch, a large *poof* following her theatrical impact, the tone in her voice so beyond airy it somehow looped back into seriousness.

”Hell if I know. I’ve seen the definition of cardio bunnies and then one day they just pull out two plates out of nowhere on a bench. Seen guys who looked like they were walking dorito chips in competitions go for marathons, seen skeletons worse than you trying to squat triple that on your arm. They failed of course, but that’s just part of the gym.”

”That happen often?” you say, raising an eyebrow. “The gym thing I mean. Skeletons trying to commit suicide by ass workouts?”

”God, don’t you get me started!” she says, a hand already by her temple as her smile only widened. “I swear, it’s a fucking circus in there sometimes.”

”Ah, this one I gotta hear!” you say, propping your arms into the back of the couch, settling into a more comfortable pose. “Story time me, I always love this kinda stuff.”

”You are just doing this to avoid lifting, aren’t you?”

”Nah, this I’m actually interested in. Just helps to give me a bigger break between the sets, y’know?”

She let out another shrug, her knowing sigh telling you she knew where you were coming from, letting herself relax as she readied herself to speak, to figure her thoughts out, eyes stuck to the side as she looked out the window and focused on the rain.

”So, a lot of people think the gym’s some kind of strange, alien world, right? Capital G Y and M, where only those who eat tree bark, drink protein shakes like water and do 3 AM marathons go and deserve to go, but it really isn’t. It’s just a place, like a clinic, the local track spot, a library or whatever, pay to go in and then just… do your thing. But-”

She stuttered for a moment, mouth half open into a pout as she tried to speak, to spout out anything, a frown slowly forming in her face as she continued, tone shifting into something more personal, almost angry in its cadence.

”But then you just have these clowns who- I dunno, try to make themselves big shots or whatever? Like, they can’t even lift 100 pounds to move in furniture and then they put their actual body weight on their bars and try to squat it because someone told them to squat bodyweight. People who make every single gym goer stay on high alert because “Ain’t no way that skeleton is lifting that much, someone get ‘im before he kills himself!” or just… I don’t get it.”

Her frown becomes conflicted, a smile trying to surface and yet being constantly suppressed, willingly or just by instinct, her face a blend of emotions you couldn’t quite pinpoint, eyes now darted to the ceiling.

”Sometimes it’s funny. Things you can tell as a story and have a good time with, reminiscing with the boys a few years down the line. Sometimes it’s tragic and you actually have to call an ambulance because Jerry the Jackass just jacked up his lift so hard his ribcage got rib-ruined. But most of the time, it’s just such a pain that it kind of bums me out. And I realize I’m probably bumming you out with all this downer talk, huh?”

Your face reacted faster than your brain, your little half smile greeting her before you uttered a word, a solemn nod given in return as she breathed out. She didn’t seem to take it personally, a look of more so understanding than actual offense given back, yet you felt like you needed to say something to lighten the mood or maybe just to snap her out of it, clearing your throat as you eyed the dumbbell.

“I guess it does bum me a little, but I figure you only really talk like that because it means a lot to you, right? Lifting and the gym, it kind of sounds like it’s more than just a place to you, even if you say it isn’t.”

It was her own turn to act before speaking, her nod too quick for her to correct despite the embarrassment that followed it, a hand rubbing at her neck as she breathed through clenched teeth, eyes squinting anywhere but your way.

“It’s… complicated. Are you sure you wanna listen? I’m okay with just moving on and not dumping it onto you, not a big deal.”

You decided to double down on your stance, letting your feet on top of her table and stretching yourself into a more comfortable position, flashing her a smile.

“I told you, I’m actually interested, Anna. If you have something to say, then I think I want to listen through it all, even if it’s heavy. Think my curiosity would burn more than my arms will tomorrow if you didn’t anyhow.”

You swore you saw her restrain herself from punching you in response, maybe out of out of respect, sighing into the air as she shifted into her seat, eyes now aimed downwards towards her knees with a bitter smile in her lips.

“God, I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this. So, back when I was a little tyke, like kindergarten tyke, I used to get pushed around a lot by this one ocelot girl called Majah. Called me stuff like cut-tail, captain trip-a-lot or just calling me a guy, did it for weeks whenever the grownups weren’t around. I told my dad, he rampaged into their office and went off like a bomb but since they never saw it and they had like twenty other kids to care for, y’know…”

She glances towards you, unsure if to continue, your nod giving her enough encouragement to keep going, her eyes now stuck to down below.

“So, it kept happening and I kept telling my dad. He kept making a ruckus but they just wouldn’t budge, so he did the next best thing. He warned them of what could happen. Then, after my dad told me what to do, I kind of… beat the shit out of her?”

She let the words hang in the air, the regret of spouting them clear on her face as she brought a hand to her neck, not bothering to remove it as she looked towards you, a beyond apologetic smile on her face. Saying you didn’t know how to react would’ve been an understatement, you were stunned, surprised for sure but mostly curious, the words out of your mouth as unfiltered as they could be.

“Wait, how the hell did you beat the shit out of her? Aren’t kindergarten kids like, five, six?”

“Yeah… yeah, I was like five years old.”

“So, how did you…?”

She tried to keep a straight face as she spoke but the mask cracked harder than she ever expected, a full blown smile on her face as she uttered her words, finally looking you in the eye.

“Dad planned it out with mom, and she kind of told me how to fight. Well, how 5 year old me could fight and win, rather. She told me the basics, he practiced with me and well, when she came up to me, I kind of punched her? And then I kept punching, and punching and… then she ran away crying. They called my parents, argued as I sat on his lap and he cradled me in, he said he warned them that this would happen and named all the times he complained, they tried to kick me out and my dad threatened to sue. They got scared and offered to kick her out instead, but we ended up flipping the bird on them and leaving anyway.”

She nodded to herself, letting out a sigh of relief like she just dumped a bag of coal off her back, eyes scouring you up and down to catch your reaction. You weren’t quite sure what face you were making at the time but it must have been the right one as she chuckled aloud, enjoying her little confession even if you could tell it wasn’t quite done.

“Guess you never really changed, huh Anna? Or that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Just got to ask though, what does this have to do with the gym exactly?”

“Well, after that fight, I kind of started looking up to my dad a lot more,” she says, hand rubbing at her neck. “Not like I ignored my mom or anything, but he showed me that I wasn’t as bad as that ocelot girl said, and I spent more time with him because of it. We used to pick him up from the gym since it was kind of far away, and I would always rush inside and find him bench pressing or just doing some curls, giving me that big smile of his whenever he spotted me… still remember sitting on his back as he did some push-ups, or hanging off his arm as he flexed, and he kind of got me into the whole thing since everyone was so nice to me.”

“Kid you hanging off your Dad’s arm like a tree branch… now I’d pay cash to see that one, Anna.”

This time she didn’t hold back, a lightning fast elbow hitting you in the shoulder, the stinging pain shutting you up as you rubbed at the impact zone, a grin on your face as she gave one right back, softening as she went along.

”Jackass. But yeah, I guess I just see the gym as kinda special for me since it helped me so much. Sure, I only started lifting for real later on in my teens, but it was always full of people ready to help me out and made me feel stronger, more… able I guess. Like I didn’t need anyone else to be myself. To be strong.”

”Really?” you asked, the words flying out of you before you even realized it, her eyes glancing at you in surprise mixed with a healthy dose of humor, eyeing you up and waiting for you to continue. You realized you were too deep in your own shit to back down, rubbing at your neck and spouting out what came naturally, an apologetic smile given back.

”Just kind of sounds strange, y’know? Saying you don’t need anyone else to feel strong and yourself after saying your dad, mom and folks in the gym helped you out. Most of us end up needing help, one way or another.”

Her eyes turned to the side, squinting and focusing in on something beyond, an uncomfortable silence slowly seeping into the room. If she had something to say, anything even, she was reluctant to speak it out, her face alternating between a closed lip and a halfway spoken word, frustration, apathy and annoyance all taking a turn on her face. As the tension rose, you could see her brow furrow, and the feeling of regret began to crash over you like a wave, each new moment of silence bringing the room’s mood further down. Her head hung low, voice so small and weak that you could barely hear it above the rain.

”You’re right. It made me *feel* that way, but I wasn’t, not really. Ended up thinking I was better than everyone else when I could run a few laps ahead of them and ended up no better than the Majah girl for a while. Got wise to it a few years later and realized I was fit, sure, but still just a scaredy-cat at the core. Especially with the whole…”

One of her hands lifted itself up and pointed outside, curling into a fist and stretching out like an explosion, a monotone “boom” and a shake of her head making her meaning clear as day. Lightning and thunder and all the little memories and mementos alongside it, tainted with fear and a kind of loathing you couldn’t even try to remove. What could you say to that, to even try? Denying it was idiotic and you couldn’t soften it, not with how honest she was, but your heart still clenched, hurt and confused. How couldn’t you be, when all of this was started by the lightning and thunder, by its flash and her being so scared? Your memories of her embrace, of her warmth, even of her claws and of flinching in pain, holding her tight and whispering into her ears… was it all tainted now? Did she hate being scared, loathe that ‘weakness’ even if it was the thing that sparked the two of you to get together?

You didn’t know. If she meant to say anything else, to finish her thoughts and make them clear she didn’t seem to show it either. Her mouth kept itself sealed with only her eyes left to wander towards you, the look on her face switching from solemn to worried as her glance turned into a stare. You hadn’t even noticed the face you were doing but you could almost see the gears in her mind whirring and stopping as her eyes widened and ears flattened, understanding what you asked without speaking, responding in kind.

A grabbed arm of her own, softly rubbed as her stare avoided yours. A bit lip in a frown, and the threat of waterworks as she breathed in. The undeniable sadness in her eyes as she tried to look towards you and failed, a hate filled glance towards the dark skies and the pouring rain. Gritted teeth giving away to quiet thinking as she settled down and slumped forwards, eyes closed to the world, her head tilting, just a little towards you.

It was more complicated than a simple yes or no, too difficult for words, too much meaning and so many ways that it could fail, but you could paint the picture with what was given. Fear but not regret, hesitation to move on but a clear wish to do so, and the undeniable dread and hate of the outside, even if she cared for you still. Even if she cared for you more than she wanted to say, more than she *could*.

It was a blend, a cocktail, a mess of emotions and thoughts and memories, tainted and unblemished, pure and polluted, yet it was your mess alone to fix. There was nobody else who could say what you thought but yourself, and as you slumped back into the couch and sank into its padding, the inevitable truth slowly pushed out beyond your little head. You hadn’t made excuses with Daniel, you hadn’t made excuses not to come in the rain, and you didn’t push this for another day for a reason. You asked those questions because you cared what she thought. You knew her flaws, and you knew why you liked her, you came here after it got so heavy exactly because you knew it was worth it, even if now the pages were blurred but there was still something here to seek, to keep, to continue.

The air felt tense, oppressive even, the silence replaced only by the sprinklings of rain on the windows, the bright TV flashing the room in tints of orange and red, explosions quickly replaced by scenes of old violence, muted colors following after. You weren’t looking at it, but even you could feel it on the edge of your sight as you glanced towards Anna, her own eyes moving towards your own and meeting halfway. Nothing to say, but something to show.

Now or never, you think to yourself, one of your hands digging deep into your pockets and pulling out that small black box from before, offering it to Anna as it laid in your palm. You had no flourish, no subtlety or little show to give, instead holding in your breath as she took it into her own hands, her claws gripping at the package and removing its top, her own breath cut short, ears pinned up like flag poles. A simple black box, a barely thumb sized pillow with a cut in the middle and a serrated key standing on it like a sword in a stone, clear as day and ready to be taken.

You were hoping- no. *Predicting* that her reaction would be explosive as she pulled up the lid and saw its contents, but she didn’t spark out or explode, not in any way you could tell on the outside, at least. Her ears were upright and still like good little soldiers, her eyes didn’t seem to change shape and her breathing, well, it slowed down instead of speeding up. Inside must have been a storm however, as the moment she glanced your way her hands began to shake, her unsteady gaze shifting back into the box as her fingers pinched the key and let it drop onto her palm.

Despite the nervous shake in her hands, you could tell by the way she closed them, how she brought the key to her chest, the way she breathed out as if she had been holding herself in. She understood that it was a new weight but also a relief, a commitment and a bond, a promise to keep and a duty to uphold, all in such a small yet heavy little thing. And of course, just like with her, it was the only key you gave, forgetting the one to the lobby itself so she could let herself into your building.

She seemed to notice that, closing her eyes and letting a faint smile finally reach her lips, opening her sight to the key once more and deciding to put it back into its box, closing its lid and sliding it towards the table.

You flashed her the best smile you could give, trying to lighten the mood in some small, minuscule way, to stop that tension in the air yet it was her own efforts that ended up working best, shuffling herself towards you and letting her head rest on your shoulder. Her hands were empty and sought out your own as your fingers interlocked, the soothing feeling of her fur between your digits and her warmth settling your nerves. She kept quiet for a while, soaking in the peace and atmosphere as she leaned towards you but eventually, she did break the silence, her tone solemn and calm as she seemed to go limp.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, huffing into the air. “Sorry for… making this so awkward all the time. I keep trying to relax around you and be cool, but I just keep fucking up every time. The wake up, the morning after, even just relaxing on the couch, all down the drain. Guess I really do suck at this, huh?”

You leaned your head towards her own and nodded, giving her a soft hum as well. “We can suck together Anna. Both of us forgot about the keys, both of us have moments like this, we both keep screwing the pooch and apologizing… I’d say we are made for each other. Besides, it’s a good thing, right? Getting all of the awkwardness out while it’s early?”

She seemed to close her eyes, taking in your words and savoring them at her own pace, with only the soft squeeze of your hand to serve as a reminder that she hadn’t fallen asleep quite yet. While it was easier with time, there was always a degree of difficulty in trying to understand how and what an Anthro was feeling, what they were thinking. Her ears were pinned back but her face was beyond calm, at least from what you could see as your head leaned towards her own, limiting your sight. No movement on the lips, no twitches of the eyes or cheeks, just a calm breathing in and breathing out.

You tried to pry her out of her concentration with a little squeeze of her hand and got a huff in return, half lidded eyes now staring upwards, dagger like in shape, a tense and unsure voice teetering on the edge of fear but never quite stepping past the ravine.

“You’ve… asked me this, but I have to ask too, Anon. What does the key mean to you? I told you what I wanted, and you said what you needed, but I- I also need to know what you want from this one. *Please*.”

That last word alone was enough to tie your throat into a tight knot and the rest of the sentence didn’t help much either, your attempt at swallowing down your own spit and stress without being noticed failing instantly. You hadn’t prepared for this, you expected her to explode, to knock you out again, for everything to go back to normal and for her to be happy with the news but you should have known better. You let yourself lean into her as your brain blitzed through options, through ´demands´, what you could and couldn’t ask of her, what you needed to and how to say it, all to the backdrop of her grip upon you and the plinking rain on dark skies, a TV flashing color with muted sound.

However long it took for you to think must have been an eternity for Anna, the sound of your voice causing her to flinch as she squeezed your hand. You had a clue of what to say and how to say it, only your throat was refusing to cooperate properly, brain buzzing with all the consequences to come. You tested out the words, mimicking them before you spoke and whispered them in silence, the knot that barred your speech slowly untangling itself as you breathed in and out. Finally confident, you nodded, licking your lips as you began to speak.

“You… mentioned something today. About how you wanted to be mine, and how you wanted me to be yours. And you told me you didn’t know what you were doing, that you didn’t know if it was going to work or not and that you had issues. But truth be told?”

You paused for breath and felt her own cease, the pinprick of her claws at the back of your hand unmistakable, her grip tightening onto you. You let yourself lean into her, an immense relief washing over you as you finally spoke.

“I don’t think I’d want to be owned by anyone else, Anna, and I don’t think I want anyone else but you. If… if you really want to go ahead, I want to try too. We can just work out the details as we go, right? One day at a time, little things every day. What do you say?”

It was odd, how silent she could be when she wanted to. Breath cut short, it left you only with the warmth of her hand, and the ever so wide grin on your face as you felt her ears twitch, little tufts waving into the air in ever increasing speed. You could almost feel the heat radiating from her face where she leaned into you, her grip on your hand tensing and tightening into a painful hold, and that’s when she finally moved. Her free hand gripped at your shoulder and yanked it towards her, both of her hands then pushing your chest down unto the sofa, pillows flying off with the impact as you were left to look upwards to her hovering above you, to her breathless face, at those beautiful amber eyes and that half open mouth with an expression you could just barely read if you tried.

It was raw, like adrenaline and dopamine, a cocktail demanding more, that extra ingredient that only you could give. Her eyes were predatory and yet they softened with every single moment you stared at them, transfixed as you saw her pupils turn from slits into full moons, her forceful push unto your chest now a soft little nudge, pinning you down. A hand slowly motioned for your cheek as another planted itself straight above your heart, her fingers stretching across fabric and skin as your own slowly reached up above to do the same, traveling across her snout and resting just around her chin.

You could feel it, the searing fire in those eyes, as transfixed into your own as yours were to hers. The unmistakable urge for her to touch you, the hand by your shirts kneading at it, the thick winter fabric barely protecting you from what she truly wanted to do, what she needed to do. Her face slowly lowered itself towards your own, half lidded eyes gleaming from the flashes of light, stopping just a few inches too far from the true prize, her warm breath glazing at your nose and lips, so damn close and yet so far. It was like torture, and you could tell she was holding out, a little smug smile spreading across her lips as she denied you for a few seconds more, the hand once cupping at your cheeks throwing itself onto your nape as she let herself collapse onto you.

Like honey, smooth, sticky and sweet, her lips melded into yours with such a tenderness that you couldn’t help but to give in, her hand helping to push your head towards her, as if you would resist, as if you wouldn’t indulge in it. Every moment felt like ten, like twenty, her soft exhale against your cheek feeling like a second wind, your hands exploring at her fur, feeling every little detail, every little nook. The soft, thin coat on her face that thickened as your hands glided across it, as you rubbed past her cheek and traveled behind, the fur between your fingers growing as if you created ravines and mountains. Every single strand tickled at your soft skin, and every single hint of her claws sent shivers down your spine as you let yourself be held, as her hands moved behind your back and let themselves wander, let themselves rest. One firmly upon your shoulder, the other just above your rear, teasing you with the possibilities, with what was to come.

What pulled your attention the most however wasn’t even her body. It wasn’t her silken lips, her warmth, the smooth coat or even the oh so familiar feeling of her grip upon you. It was that old variable, now pumped to eleven, pumped beyond it and shoved straight to the front of your baffled mind.

It was her scent.

Perhaps the rain has affected you in a way you didn’t expect, it could have been the Scent Nuller or maybe you were just too bewildered and confused, but something new was here, something personal, a hint of the forbidden. Her strawberry perfume was there, alongside the usual scent of fur, but there was something more, something heady and dense beneath it all that made your head spin and yet yearn for more. As she broke away from the kiss to breathe, you couldn’t help but to bury your face upon her chest, letting your lips touch her neck as you nuzzled her, chin halfway dug into the inside of her hoodie. It was like dirt and rain and sweat and fire, all mixed into something so beyond intoxicating that you could barely restrain yourself from enjoying as you smooched at her, the realization of how far down you’ve gone only hitting you as you felt her claws gripping at your scalp.

You expected her to be harsh, to berate you for your sudden outburst and yet she only seemed to shove you in harder, your cheeks flushing red as you felt the undeniable vibration in her throat, purring so loud you could downright feel it in your face, like she was gloating at your need. Did you miss her so much more than you realized? It hadn’t even been that long and you even slept alongside her, and yet you barely seemed to be able to resist touching her, smelling her, your hands slinking underneath her hoodie, groping and gliding across her form. Beneath all the winter puff was still a downright sculpted back, muscular and lithe, your fingers tracing across her spine and feeling her shiver in return, shoving your face deeper and deeper within her chest, your lips dangerously close to her breasts as she practically rubbed herself on you, locking you into a vice with her legs.

Holding you still and yet managing to rub herself on you from above, she let her hands across your cheek, clawed fingers gliding across your skin and up to your brow, lifting your hair upwards. A simple, long and wet kiss was all it took, a wordless caress to nearly shut you down, another one soon coming as if to ruin you, to turn your cheeks bright tomato red. It was addicting, downright embarrassing as to how much you wanted it, and yet what struck you to your core was what she whispered to your ear, soft, gentle, barely louder than a breeze.

“Mine.”

How could you even describe how you felt? It was beyond emotions, beyond words, the way your mind and body shut down to listen, almost limp and yet so aware. It didn’t feel real, the way she repeated that word with an ever-increasing pride unto your ear, the way she smooched you without end, how she moved on down and planted kisses along your rosy cheeks, onto your now desperate lips. She lowered herself even more as she felt your paralysis, barely managing to suppress her giggling as she nuzzled at your neck, a long and raspy tongue gliding across your skin, the wetness and the feeling turning your spine into a lightning rod, your body shivering in response. Her undeniable grip on you tightened then as the warm breath met your neck, every hair in your body standing in attention as she hummed, as she asked you a simple question in that smooth, honeyed tone.

“I’m yours. You’re mine. Do you want me to show it to the world?”

Your throat was locked tight, unable to do anything beyond letting you breathe, and even that was getting harder by the second. Your mind was barely cooperating either, too overwhelmed by stimuli, trying to cobble up some semblance of a coherent flow. But your body? Oh, your body was eager and it was ready, the smile on your lips and the nod of your head bypassing any logic engine you might have once needed or had, your heart and gut thinking for its stead. Beyond pleased with the answer, Anna barely held back as her purring seemed almost deafening, a clawed finger gently tracing alongside your jugular, eyes scouring for something. You barely managed to glance down before you began to feel it, a slow and gentle kiss unto your skin, but something seemed off. It was slow and calm, almost purposefully so, only to elevate itself more as the second went on by. Her lips seemed almost stuck to your skin, smooching them with an almost ravenous hunger, only amplified as you felt her vibrations across your own neck, her breath on your skin, the wetness slowly seeping around it.

And then, she struck. Her jaw opened wider as she gently bit down, teeth just on the edge of breaking your skin, her paw-like hands gripping at your nape and back, legs locking you in place. She was hooked onto you, unmoving, determined and yet with a kind of care you couldn’t just brush off, that instinct of fear quelled as you realized just how gentle she was being. No teeth upon any vein that mattered, no blood spewing out, and that suction, caring and soft as her fingers spread across your scalp, as her rugged tongue swept across the gentle skin. As it intensified, so did the rosy blush upon your warm cheeks, your own arms holding her as you let out the dumbest wide grin you could, half drowned in bliss as you hoped it wouldn’t ever end.

Of course it had to, so soon and so early, but Anna did everything she could to delay it, her intensity dying down instead of over in a moment, her soft caresses delivered as slowly as she could without them bordering on the lethargic, even her kisses extending just a few moments too many. And yet, as she slowly pushed herself up and sat on your stomach, a trail of drool tied to her lips and chin, she looked ecstatic. Her eyes seemed so focused and yet so diffuse, looking at your own in disbelief and wonder, and you couldn’t help but to smile, and to think…

What was she thinking?

You did it.

Holy shit, you did it.

Your eyes could barely believe it even if you could taste him in your lips, the trail of drool dripping down your chin proof enough, as if the fucking purple blotch on his neck could be denied, as if the teeth marks weren’t there! YOU did that, with him letting you, with him *HUGGING* you, letting you do all of that and then giving you that- that look! That adorable, lovestruck look you knew so damn well, the kind you had thought about for two whole weeks, fantasizing about, DREAMING OF! You did all of this and yet you wanted to do more, more and more still, your heart pounding as you purred into the air with the force of an amplifier, as if he didn’t know, as if you needed to say it out loud for the whole building to know!

His hand reached towards your face and you couldn’t help but to grasp it, to lead it, your eyes barely holding themselves open as those fingers dug into your cheeks, as they held it with that almost unnatural care, his smile only widening as you cradled his hand, your ears flattening against your head. What could you even say that you didn’t show, what did you even want to say aloud that wasn’t already spoken?

He was yours, and he was marked. You were his and you needed to be marked as well, by whatever means he chose, and you could barely wait. You loved him and you showed that to him, but he deserved his turn as well, your eyes slowly moving from his face and upwards, staring beyond the walls to the same old room. The one where the two of you shared your true first time, where you spent two weeks agonizing over the wait, and where you wanted to finish it as well.

You screwed up every single plan you had. The first meeting with the pounce, the morning with your talks, this afternoon with your moping and whining. You wanted that dramatic little reveal with the key, you wanted to cuddle his exhausted form to sleep and to whisper in his ear like he did, to give him all those little things you dreamt and fantasized of doing for two whole weeks. He ended up fixing every single one of your fuckups, but now? Now you could do things right. Now you could fix it and give him what he deserved, after he gave you what you desired.

Wiping away the drool from your chin and lips, you held his hand away from your face, eyeing out your room from beyond the wall and smiling at him, hoping he understood what you meant. You saw his smile turn into a faint smirk, your own turning smug as you slid from above him and steadied yourself upwards, helping him to stand on his own two feet. That purple blotch on his neck almost seemed to pulse as he gripped your hand, eyeing you like a lovestruck puppy, his fingers gently gliding across the mark with an almost prideful look. Was he glad you did it? Was it just the passion of the moment or-

You shook your head, a wide grin plastered on your face.

It didn’t matter.

None of that mattered now as you held his hand and guided him through the living room, as his steps echoed yours across the hall and as your hand gripped the doorknob, his taste still lingering in your tongue, addictive, delicious. As you opened the door, you saw your little room, dinky and dirty, tacky posters on the walls you couldn’t muster the heart to tear down, weight rings on the ground you got too lazy to move, wrappers and little trinkets galore. A little desk, a laptop and a chair on one corner, but above all, a couple’s bed with one person missing every night. And you just so happened to have the one by your hand, a gleam in your eye, heart pounding like an anvil.

You never were a praying woman, but right now? You felt truly blessed.

Anna barely seemed awake as she helped you up, grabbing onto your hand and leading you without a sound around her home, eyes staring straight forwards as you followed along with that smug grin. You could barely think yourself, too distracted, too enamored, the little mark on your neck feeling warmer by the minute as you let yourself be led to her room and beyond the white door. She was careful as always in the way she moved with you, but she seemed to almost dance amidst the spots of clear ground, a grace you hadn’t seen of her ever before. You almost managed to match her as you stumbled through the mess of iron plates and wrappers, only to nearly trip on a piece of clothing, barely managing to grip the bed before you fell. As you hoisted yourself up proper, you saw Anna plop herself down beside the sheets, hands by her knees, golden eyes meeting yours.

They weren’t hungry, they were starving, two wide amber pools beckoning you closer as she patted the spot beside her, shuffling to let you in, begging without a word. You could barely think, whatever blood was left in your body more focused onto your cheeks, your ears and the now purple splotch on your neck, yet you could still act, clumsily sitting by the bed and shuffling towards her. Your shoulder rubbed against her own as she wrapped her arm around your elbow, the slow rumble beginning again as she seemed to take her time, letting it all sink in as she breathed out a warm sigh against the air. She wanted to say something but she acted before she spoke, her free hand sliding beneath her own pillow and retrieving something clutched in her hand, hidden from you.

“I know I’m being selfish, but I… I have a request,” she says, eyes dodging yours for a moment. “It’s not a big one, but I already got my wish, and I get it if you don’t wanna do another, but could you hear me out? Please?”

You nodded, squeezing her arm and giving her as warm a smile as you could muster with what little thought you could scrounge up, seeing her once clenched hand relax, flipping itself up above to reveal what it was hiding and motioning it towards you. At first, you weren’t quite sure what it was or what she was implying, but as your eyes narrowed down into it, so did your mind, grasping it with your own hand as to inspect it. A purple tinted sleeping mask, little golden stitching mimicking cat eyes on the outside, two little triangles of black cloth mimicking the ears, just tacky enough to make you smile. Your fingers slid across the fabric, feeling it out as she spoke again, her tone more of a confession than anything else.

“You trusted me when I marked you, so it only feels fair I trust you too, right? You’re mine, and I’m yours. It’s time I showed you that.”

She rubs at her neck, giving you a guilty smile and whispering into your ear as she leans in close. “I also kinda like it, you know? A girl’s allowed her tastes, so… please?”

You weighed the little purple and gold blindfold in your hands, an ever-growing smirk in your face as you felt Anna leaning into your shoulder. As if your thinking brain would ever say no, like your instincts would ever deny her, stretching it out in your palm as you motioned towards her, amber pools staring at into your own with nervous glee. She hesitated for a moment only before she closed her eyes for good, the blindfold placed as she seemed to sigh, a blindly trusting smile beamed right at you, her hand reaching for yours, gripping it for support.

You glanced towards the bed as her words echoed in your head, the latent pulsing on your neck adding onto the thoughts swirling in your mind. She made you hers, she trusted you and now you were gonna make her yours, a marvelous warmth flooding your face and body as you let that settle in, as your pride swelled and it all slotted into place. You looked towards the bed and shook your head, ignoring any kind of plan or idea your mind would create, choosing instead to go with the flow, to let your body dictate how you were to mark her. Hopping into the bed, you gently held onto Anna’s waist, dragging her towards the middle of the mattress and laying her down, a gentle hand towards her chest soothing her nerves, even if the bit lip and the pounding heart beneath were as clear as a sunny day.

Laying there, she barely looked like the Anna you knew. One of her arms covering her chest, another covering her groin, blindfolded eyes staring aimlessly to the side, a nervous smile to end it all on. No smugness, no remark or playful jab, and yet she trusted you still, her hands and arms slowly drifting away from where they once were, only a hoodie, sweatpants and whatever was underneath left as she became more comfortable, as she settled in. Feeling no need to waste time, your hands glided across her body, a gentle hand caressing her cheek as another drifted downwards, fingers tracing down her neck, stretching the little collar down and letting the fluff of her chest free to the air. Her head leaned into one of your hands as the other traced around her breasts, cupping them from beyond the fabric, a muffled huff coming from her as you groped and squeezed, an unashamed and bliss filled smile slowly spreading on her lips as you enjoyed yourself, another hand drifting downwards towards her navel. Fur always hid so much more than skin but as your hand slinked underneath the hem of her hoodie, your fingers could still feel it, the little bumps and ridges of well-defined abs, tensing as your hand neared them, not quite rock solid and yet still so pleasing to touch and explore. You almost felt dirty, sliding your fingers up and down her belly, but the way her breathing shifted and that slow rumble rose from her chest, it made you forget any shame you might have had. You’d always admired it about her, the way she trained so hard, how she always found a way to take you in on a rainy day and to relax despite her lifestyle and now here you were, able to do so much with her full consent, to do all the little things your mind had considered before. All the little peeks of her shapely ass you’d done over the years, the old dreamy thoughts of her flexible frame, things you never told her and the new ideas you couldn’t wait to try out.

You smiled, letting the hand by her cheeks down through her chest as it reached for the lower hem of her hoodie, both hands now gripping at it as you started taking it off, Anna’s arms stretching upwards as to let it slide off without an issue, leaving her bare to see from the waist up. It was like a work of art, one you had seen earlier this morning but not clearly, not this close. Every little detail revealed itself as you explored her every inch, as her breathing and purring was all you could hear, entering a trance as your mind focused on her alone.

The way her fur fluctuated, thinning on her stomach and neck, fluffing at her chest, almost all of it concentrated between her breasts and neck on a large fluffy pillow. The way her arms seemed to condense such a thick coat and yet kept it so silken, your fingers tracing along the creases of her biceps like a brush to a painting, feeling the texture shift as you went off the path, denser, coarser even. The ridges of her abs and how they revealed themselves as you brushed your fingers past, Anna flexing them as to let you see them better, her blissful smile turning almost indulgent as you lingered in all these little parts, focusing last on the smallest part you’ve always seen her hide the most.

Barely larger than a handful, if even that, her breasts laid there exposed for you to see, two little craters of furless pink at their middle, nipples piercing the air like mountains on a field, perky and pointy as they met the air. She had always been so embarrassed about their size, something about athletes and competitors always losing their growth spurts leaving them flatter than they’d like, but to you, smaller breasts had a certain beauty you couldn’t quite explain. Your hands moved from her belly and upwards as you licked your lips, a primal urge coaxing you to feel her, to savor the moment, her purring becoming louder as your hands finally reached them, fondling and squeezing at them without restraint.

They were so soft, so inviting, both your hands magnetized to them as her breathing only seemed to get heavier, her legs opening as you lowered your head towards one of them, glazing her nipple with your breath, clawed hands gripping at the sheets. It only took you a few kisses to her breasts until you felt it again, that scent hitting you like a freight train, like smelling fire and perfume, the smell of fallen rain and the earth right after it ceased. It was intoxicating beyond measure, your mind going blank as you went for the kill, your lips brushing against her nipples and clamping down, suckling one tit as your hand fondled the other, Anna’s paw-like hand cradling at your head, claws poking at your scalp. You focused in, your senses drowned by echoes of purring and labored breathing, feeling the vibrations on your face as you sucked on her chest, her moans slowly filling the air as she lost her restraint, letting herself be touched and kissed without a care. You squeezed and pinched, suckled and bit, each new breath only making you more and more lost in the act, Anna’s hand downright pushing you in, cradling your head as you tasted her body, as you sampled it with every little sense you could.

The fur on her body, its softness, the claws touching your skin and back. Her scent, your mind going numb as you could only seek more of it, to get closer and closer still. The beautiful sounds she made, whispering your name as you loved her, voice overflowing with desire. Her toned physique you couldn’t stop admiring and the taste you couldn’t forget, much less try to resist.

Your hand lowered itself from her breast and glided across her side, feeling her shiver as you slid towards her waist, slinking beneath the sweatpants and down to her thighs. They tensed as you rubbed them, the thickened fur between your fingers barely hiding away the muscle beneath, her breath hitching as your hands gripped at the hem of her sweatpants, feeling out her hips all the while. Your thumbs slid beneath its band, stretching it out as she readied herself, yanking out her pants and throwing them aside, letting you see her so much more, and so much clearer. Her toned legs and the soft lines buried beneath her coat, the little dots of black on silver splattered throughout, the shiver as you let your fingers glide, as you spread her legs apart, ears flickering as you stared. Only one layer of hers remained, her pink boxers plain to see, the wet splotch by her groin beyond obvious as your hand crept lower and lower, her back arching as she bit her lip, sheets hooked by pawed hands.

You were taking your sweet time and you could tell it was getting to her, Anna’s breathing becoming more and more erratic as you teased her below, your thumb gently pressing at her button as the rest rubbed at her lips, the thin layer of fabric barely concealing her need, your fingers purposefully slow, riding her to the very edge and stopping just before the end. You didn’t dare to slink your hand below her boxers, your lips curling into a smile as you heard her muttering your name, her ears twitching harder and faster with each second with that pattern you now understood. You were riding a thin line between getting mauled and being smothered, one wrong move setting her off like a bomb and yet that only seemed to excite you, your eyes traveling across her near naked frame and pausing for just a second, an idea coming to mind as you licked your lips.

Your hand removed itself from her for a moment only, letting her head rise up to try and look in your direction, trying to sense out what happened. Just as soon as she did, your hands were upon her knees, prying her legs apart as far as they’d go, letting the act speak in your stead, letting go and watching as she held herself open without a word, silent, breathless. Slowly, you inched by her side, a hand traveling from her navel and upwards, only the tips of your fingers touching at the very edge of her fuzzy coat, traveling through the crease of her abs and upwards to her chest, your palm settling in above her heart, feeling it beat like a drummer gone mad, every thump fueling you in a way you couldn’t even describe.

She was yours. Her heart was beating for you and just you, the twitch in her ears from your touch alone, the whisper of your name for nobody else. You felt alive, letting the hand by her heart linger as you lowered yourself to her side, watching her blindfolded face become more and more eager as your lips came closer, melding into her own with a passion unlike anything you’d ever felt. She pushed her face towards you, hungry, desperate, and you did much the same, your hand slinking down once more through her navel, fingers edging lower and lower as your lips locked and fought with hers. A pawed hand pushed your head into her face as another played with her breasts, your hand finally reaching her boxers and slinking underneath, a thick carpet of moist fur greeting you as you felt her need, her heat. Your middle finger raised and lowered itself on her slit, her mouth opening as you rubbed her womanhood, tongue wrestling with hers as you bid your time, as you felt her taste, her texture. She was coarse, sticky, your own tongue gripped by hers as they swapped spit and wrestled, your hand down below rubbing quicker and quicker, feeling the barely hidden moans reverberate through you, the vibration in her breath more and more rampant as you went along.

It was time. You had teased and moved her enough, letting your hand rest between her legs, curling your last two digits as your thumb rubbed at her clit, only your middle and pointer left. Gently, you let your fingers glide down for the final time amidst her boxers, Anna’s legs splitting wider as she seemed to relax from the pause, her lips smooching into yours in a much less forceful, almost peaceful state. Her beating heart, the passion in her grasp, the way she held you and groped herself, it was impossible to call that calm, yet as the tip of your fingers rested on her entrance, she seemed to surrender to the bliss, sliding inside her as her breathing hitched.

It was like a furnace, feeling her inner heat as your fingers curled, the tightness growing as she contracted, your hand damn near stuck until she finally relaxed moments later, hard to move even despite her wetness. Outside wasn’t much better, her hand, once pushing your head towards her own, had shifted to pushing you lower, that brief respite from her kiss only meant your lips had to find something else, meeting her neck and chest as you breathed in that perfumed scent. Each little smooch given had something else given back, a louder purr, a whisper of your name, a barely stifled shiver or moan, your fingers down below working wonders as you delved deep and raked back, making sure to arch your digits on the way home, plunging deeper as you delved in again and again.

You lost yourself in that rhythm, entranced by the sounds, by her touch, by her sheer everything, time losing its meaning as you fingered and touched her over and over, as you felt your every action land its mark, as you refused to stop. It was only as your fingers began to cramp and your arm went sore that you snapped out of your trance, witnessing your work as you clenched your cramping hand. Anna panting into the air, blindfolded still, mouth open as her body went almost limp, legs open and her breathing deep, enjoying every damn second of what you’d done. Pride filled you as your hands grasped at her hips and you gently held her, slowly turning her around, belly to the mattress and ass to the air. And good lord, what a fucking ass it was.

Behind her pair of baggy sweatpants, you could barely see it, only little glimpses of it once she bent down to pick something up but now it was different. You could see it in its full fucking glory, sculpted with muscle, round, with just the right amount of fat in it to give it some mass but still juicy beyond description. Silvery, fluffy fur, black dots and splotches like freckles splayed all across, beautiful in every way. Your hands reached out, two large handfuls squeezing in as you felt her back arch in response, purring anew as her nub swung side to side, ears twitching as she grabbed a pillow beneath her chest to hold. It wasn’t just nice, it was addicting to feel her, to squeeze and pinch, to grab her ass and to spread her cheeks apart, letting them go only to do it all over again, her head resting on a pillow as you reluctantly let go, Anna swaying her hips just enough to tantalize you as you finally stripped and threw your clothes to the side, letting them crumple to the floor.

You weren’t just into this, you were devoted to it, feeling every pulse of your heart across your limbs and a sense of pure bliss as you kneeled behind her, just a little space between you and her as you lined up your manhood, feeling something shift instead. Anna seemed to slowly push herself off the headboard and arch her back a little further, hips and ass raising, your length shoved right between her shapely cheeks. She grinned as she grinded, slowly and gently, a toothy grin on her face as she let her face drift off to the side, still blindfolded as her hips swayed left and right, feeling her ass rub at your length across the curves and ravine. It wasn’t long until your hands were on her hips and ass, spreading her cheeks apart and back together as she buried your manhood in a thick carpet of fit ass and silken fur, your thrusts matching her descent by instinct alone, her lack of eyes irrelevant as she felt the rhythm, both of you synched to the same primal beat.

Beyond just compatible, you were made for her, anticipating every sway and bounce, fingers digging deep as your thrusts went longer and further, as you felt her speed pick up, your length now rubbing at her nub, Anna’s breath becoming hitched and deep, the smug little smile on her face fracturing as she began to pant and moan harder, your pride growing with every new thrust rubbing more and more to that little nub. You knew it was sensitive, an entire tails worth of sensors in such a small package, your grin growing as you went along. You weren’t going to let up, one of your hands gripping it as you thrusted, sending shivers down her spine as another hand raised and slapped at her left cheek, feeling that beautiful ass bounce and jiggle as you got back into control once again, Anna losing all her composure as she spoke, barely able to match your new pace.

“An-Anon! Y-you little SHIiiiII- O-Oh my God! YOU… FFFFUCKER! *MY* FUCKER. MINE! MINE!”

Her hands were gripping at the back board of the bed, claws digging into the wood as she seemed to hang on for dear life, one losing its grip as it pinched at blindfold, her face turning sideways as she ripped it off and cast it away. Amber eyes turned to daggers, staring at you with teeth bared in a predatory smile, face tinted like a tomato, adrenaline flowing through her like water down a river, burning red ears twitching up a storm as she let you take control. As she trusted you with her body, without so much as a single shred of doubt or worry.

She was yours and she didn’t hesitate to remind you, her eyes beyond filled with a predatory desire as she locked into you, as you manhandled her ass and grabbed her nub like a lever, your thumb drawing circles across its tip, her blush getting clearer and clearer across her face.

“C’MON! M-Main course you FUCKING DORK! MARK ME ALREADY!”

You leaned down as your hands wrapped themselves around her midriff, pulling her up and pushing her forwards to the backboard, her back meeting your chest as you gently pinned her, your manhood right between her toned thighs, feeling the sweltering heat from her nethers. Your hands were busy holding her as you pulled her closer and closer to you, arms wrapped around her chest and hips as your face buried itself in her neck, feeling her trying to grind on you even now, thighs and lower lips rubbing your length as you took a deep breath of that intoxicating scent and kissed deeper and deeper. You lined yourself up to her slit, feeling her purr vibrate across your body as you whispered in her ear what you wanted to say for so, so long on so many lonely nights.

“God, I fucking love you, Anna. I love you so, so fucking much.”

You thrusted in, feeling her paralysis last only a moment as she let you inside and stopped you from ever leaving, your manhood stuck inside her tightness as her heart beat like a drum. Her purr turned so loud you could feel it resonating from within her, the long breaths she inhaled sounding off as you refused to let go, as you let yourself be entranced by the little sweet everythings you whispered at her ear, unfiltered, unhinged. Slow, long and steady thrusts at the start, feeling her ass slam into you as you shook the bed, the sound of the creaking frame’s like music to your ears as you almost felt massaged by the sheer vibrations of her core, every inch of your being inside her and out soothed as she made her love clear, broadcasted to not just the air, but into your muscles and ears. Your hands wandered, explored, your thrusts picking up pace as you entered a trance of pleasure and pride, both of you returning to that deep primordial bond, the sweat of your body soaking into her fur, your hands feeling at her nips and chiseled abs, the sheer sound of the creaking bed mixing in with the moans, with her breath, with your confessions of love. Faster, faster still, every noise melding into a symphony, every sense melding together, your body exhausting itself and yet feeling renewed, muscles coaxed and massaged by her purr, exhaustion creeping in as you two were closer and closer to the end.

Too good to last but you wanted her to reach that peak first, picking up speed as you kissed and bit at her neck and shoulders, as your pace quickened just a little more, hands rubbing at her nipples and abs, trying to coax every little bit out of her quicker than you got, trying desperately to slow your own self down. You could feel yourself just barely about to reach your end before she did it first, one final thrust and bite into neck doing the deed, her body tensing as if a lightning bolt had struck, shaking and holding on for dear life onto you and the frame. Shivering, twitching, holding her breath in as you finished inside her, a torrent of bliss flowing through you both as held onto her for dear life, your consciousness about to fade as you leaned into her for support.

She held steady by that back board for both of you, your arms wrapped like a snake around her as you both panted for air, her inner walls milking you for every single drop they could as your lips brushed against her neck, feeling that soothing purr across your body. The exhaustion and soreness you felt worsened with every moment but you held for just a bit longer, her tufts rubbing against your cheek as she nuzzled you back, wordlessly gathering her own strength alongside her composure. You both needed a minute or twenty, one of your hands leaving her as you grabbed onto the backboard yourself, arms feeling like noodles as you breathed in deep, taking in the air of the room. It smelled like the two of you, of perfume sweat and fire, like glory and love, Anna’s voice ringing out before yours, nigh breathless as she whispered.

“Fuck… Anon, could we just- just stay here for a bit? Please?”

You just nodded, doing your best to keep steady as she leaned back into you, a long, long sigh ringing out as the two of you stayed together, refusing to let go, speaking without a sound. You squeezed her core and let out a small kiss on her neck, closing your eyes as you felt her lean back just a little more, shifting your kneel into more of a sit as she followed along, both of you connected still. Without a word, the two of you spoke of the little things that mattered more. In the small actions you two took when no words were needed.

A longer, deeper breath as the two of you caressed one another, thumbs rubbing at each other’s hands. A comfortable grumble from her as you kissed her tufts and neck, feeling her linger and give back with a small, and yet so meaningful nudge. A purr filling the air as you two closed your eyes in silent bliss, both your breaths synchronized, unconscious in nature and yet oblivious as the minutes went along, both your chests rising and falling at the same time, lulled into a perfect rest.

Well, until her stomach finally grumbled aloud into the air, time having flown on by as the two of you whiled it away in this warm room, swapping little caresses as the clock worked along. You gently squeezed her as she became stiff, muttering into her ear.

“You want me to go cook something up, Anna? Big on meat, low on the greens as you go clean up?”

She half nodded, letting herself ease out of her little paralysis before a hand of hers lowered itself down to her belly, idly rubbing it while clearly in thought.

“Yeah… yeah, I’d like that. A nice, *big* juicy steak, medium rare, a glass of wine… I’d like that.”

You hummed, finally letting go as the two of you felt each other no longer, Anna finally moving away and walking naked into the bathroom down the hall, stopping by the doorway for just a moment. Amber eyes, full like moons and yet half lidded as she gave you that wide smile. The kind that made your heart flutter and that seemed to make the world feel just right again, despite it all.

You looked at the crumpled clothes on the ground and decided to just wing it, putting them on and checking yourself all the while, the warm afterglow clinging to you still. Your clothes were going to need some ironing and a wash, not to mention yourself needing an extra scrub after this workout, but it didn’t matter. Little details you could fix, small things to be mended. Wasn’t like you and her were finished for today anyways.

But first, food! Good food, even. You popped out your knuckles and tried to straighten your clothes as you finally shuffled out of her room, the air itself feeling lighter as you went to her kitchen and flipped the switch on the wall, halogen tubes up above buzzing and flickering into action. It was a fairly small place, a clean and also cluttered marble counter filled with protein bottles and a microwave, a stove by the corner and a fridge covered in sticky notes being the main attractions. Not a whole lot of wiggle room to move and dance freely but the tiled floor seemed impeccably clean still, though you quickly soil it as you walked to the fridge and inspected its contents. Meat, meat, meat, eggs, milk… potatoes? Bell peppers, onions, tomatoes and even a zucchini in there by the side alongside some butter and… was that a box of frozen bread down there? Even a small jar of honey right by the ketchup alongside a section full of herbs, raising you an eyebrow as you took it all in. A far cry from her usual stocking, that stuff felt more like a bonafide hunters lodge, but you could definitely work with this.

Package of thick meat on the counter, cutting board to the side, salt and pepper close by to be deployed and olive oil into the pan, just enough to coat most of it all as you measured up some rice for a side pot. Heat it all up, coat the slices of meat with the one two seasoning, water readied for the rice, drop it in and set it all up as you focused in on the real spice. You didn’t have anything too fancy in mind but Anna deserved something nicer than the plain usual, pulling out a small bowl as you mixed up a little butter and chopped parsley off to the side, ready to brush it onto the cooking meat once it was sizzling, slicing and sliding up some garlic to the pan as you laid some eggs by the counter. You considered microwaving the bread up, a little extra side to the side dish but you abstained, more focused in as the meat started to cook and you kept an eye on it. Anna’s tastes leaned more to the juicy and rare rather than the fully cooked, a thin line to follow as you preemptively buttered up her portion, placing it on her plate as you soon finished up with your own, only the rice and eggs left. A definitely unhealthy chunk of butter down the rice pot, golden goodness mixed in as you cracked the eggs over the pan, letting the olive oil fry them up to a nice runny state, slapping two on Anna’s plate and the remaining one for you. Divvying up the white grain between you two, you settled for reapplying that little butter and parsley mix for both your lightly golden steaks and trying to find the wine amidst the cup boards, feeling a gentle softness lean into you as you finally fished out a bottle from above, Anna speaking out from your shoulder as she rested her chin.

“Smells good. Sure you made mine to spec, dorkass?”

You placed the red wine down by the counter just to be safe, pulling out a drawer to find a bottle opener and laying it out, warming up your voice as you went along.

“If memory serves, I think you asked for a well done vegan meat patty, extra broccoli and cheese with some mayo on top. Sadly, my girl deserves better than that shit, so I cooked you up a medium rare chunk of meat with some runny eggs, buttered rice and a little parsley and butter slathered on it. Almost went for the honey, but I think you’re sweet enough as it is.”

“Smooth talking jackass… but you’re my jackass. And that does smell delicious, so thank you. I owe you one.”

She stayed behind you as she gave you a quick peck to the cheek, feeling that wonderful warmth spread itself around your face as your heart skipped a beat, hand clutching the bottle opener as you pierced the cork. Something small like that still managed to hit you like a truck, your smile widening as you spoke.

“Bet it’ll taste even better than it smells. Who knows, maybe I’ll get your nubbed little ass to finally eat a salad for once! Or a soup that isn’t just a pot of meat with water in it, Miss Carnivore.”

“Throw and a miss, Spear Chucker! I’m sure you won’t be laughing once I put you doing squats and pushups till failure, gonna break and remake your ass into shape if it kills me!”

Both of you just laughed into the air as you jabbed at one another, letting her settle in further as you felt her arms wrap around your chest, cork finally pulled from the bottle with a satisfying *POP*, settling into a comfortable silence. You pulled out a glass from the cupboard above, pouring some in for her, swirling it as you handed it off and she finally took a taste, a grimace clear on her face.

“Eurgh, you guys like this stuff? I’ve always heard red wine paired with meat but this just sucks.”

“It’s an acquired taste, I guess. Some wines are better than others, some are rougher and some smoother. Just have to find the one you like the most, Anna, whatever suits you.”

“Well, that’s one idea down the drain, I’ll stick to the ciders. Only really bought it for you, since it’s you guys who tend to like it really. Want some or..?”

“I’ll stick with you, and go with the ciders. Think I’m confident in knowing what I like now.”

You give her a little grin as she seems to pick up on your message, slowly shifting out from behind you and to the side as she gathered up some cutlery and placed down her glass, glancing at you with a sheepish smile.

“Smartass. But… thank you. I mean it. You want to take a quick shower now? I can wait for you to eat together, if you want.”

“I’ll… I’ll be fine. It’s Friday tomorrow, I’ll just wake up early, shower, iron up the clothes real quick and put on some deodorant. You don’t mind, right?”

Not only did she not mind, she seemed downright ecstatic at the idea, flashing you a smile as she nudged in closer, smug little grin at the ready as her voice lowered to a whisper.

“Oh, I love that. Wanna know why?”

“I’ll bite. Why?”

“Cause of the secret! The Anthro one I said I’d tell you about when you were leaving. Still wanna know?”

Your curiosity renewed, you nodded, Anna slowly inching her face closer to your ear as she held onto you, hints of claws now poking at your skin, one dragging itself across the splotch on your neck as she whispered.

“We mark people we like. *A lot*. Every Anthro does it their own way and you guys never notice because you *can’t* notice, so it’s like our own little language. Even just a little flicker of a Jaguar’s tail on your neck and you’d be marked as someone else’s or as them being interested in you. Also for everyone else to back off, if you’re marked enough.”

Oh… OH. So that’s why she was talking about you marking her so much, your brain having processed it as just something she enjoyed alongside the blindfold but no, it... it meant more than that to her. The sheepish little smile she wore only seemed to make that clearer as she rested her chin on your shoulders again, two clawed fingers walking on your chest as she spoke.

“So… if you take a bath before you leave, I can just mark you again. Properly this time, no Scent Nuller, nothing like that. A proper goodbye hug. A long one, if you’d like?”

You couldn’t help but to smile, wrapping both your arms around her as you pulled her in for an embrace, feeling as she returned the hug in kind, both her arms wrapped around your chest as claws tugged at your skin from beyond your clothes. Once again, an unashamed purr rang out into the air as her ears flickered, breath hitching as you squeezed her harder, feeling all that dopamine and warmth wash over you like a tidal wave, moments of pure heaven as you hugged this little loveable brute.

No… As you hugged *your* little loveable brute, planting a small kiss on her forehead as if to end it, her ears tinting red as you slowly let go, claws only retracting as she realized she’d been hugging you for far longer than you’d hugged her. She cleared out her throat, taking your cue and nodding away as she gestured to the food, steam slowly vanishing to the air.

“Hate it to be me this time but we should probably eat. No use making you cook all that and then we don’t even taste it when it’s great, right?”

“Yeah… yeah, let’s go eat.”

…

Time slipped on by as the two of you moved to the living room, as you bunkered down in the couch and ate at your meals, drinking and joking, the flashing colors from the tv mixing in with the small little commentaries each of you gave. The small distance between you two only seemed to shorten every minute, soon the both of you shoulder to shoulder, wordlessly leaning into one another as the rain outside pelted at the windows, desperate to get in, winds howling all the while. Anna just flashed a small apologetic smile as she left and soon returned, a warm blanket under her arms as the two of you bundled together beneath it, ignoring the storm as your fingers interlocked beneath wool, the softness of her hands and the sheer twitching of her ears enough to soothe your soul of any worries of thunder.

Soon enough, both of your energies seemed to drain on and on, settling down into the couch as you two finally became comfortable, stripping away at your clothes and laying bare alongside her, just as she wished you to do a night before, a primordial feeling of comfort and rightness settling in as you two huddled beneath the woolen blanket, bound together, not a single thought of worry or woe. Beyond the waking reality, unto dreams once more.

There you were once again. Sat beneath that tree you knew so well, on that hill you couldn’t forget, the seas of roses down below swaying in the gentle breeze, uncaring and free, red as blood, life coursing through them like the midst of spring. Staring into the skies, the sun was setting down on the horizon, pinks and oranges filling the view like a beautiful painting, something new now catching your eye as you looked to the side.

And there she was, leaning into you. Beautiful beyond words, beyond your ability to think, the soft, white summer dress on Anna blowing with the breeze as the little picnic you prepared carried on, red wine and honeyed meats, amber eyes scouring the skies, more gorgeous than any view you’d ever seen. Like full amber moons filled with passion and fire, fury and care, staring onto the landscape as she locked an arm with you.

She was ready. Both of you blinked at once, rejecting the inevitable as you saw the sky turn to darkness, a void beyond stars and hope, of cold and misery. A dome of encroaching jet black, submerging the two of you as gravity seemed to lessen, both your hands tied together as you walked onwards, down the hill.

The tree rustled, branches swayed, the roses down below burned, only now with an orange glow, illuminating the fields like a thousand candles, each wick flickering in the cruel wind. It tried to flay you, tried to slash at your body, clothes torn to shreds as you and Anna marched on, two souls bare unto the winds, the feeling of frost passing you by as the two of you went onward and downwards into those fields. The roses let you through, the ones upon your way submerging beneath the dirt, a luminescent path of greenery spiraling across this sea of living, crimson candles, the ones around you forming something akin to a circle, always surrounding you and yet giving you space, thorns vanishing into the stems.

There were no clothes left upon either of your bodies, the cold trying desperately to grasp at you both as you two struggled on to the end of your path, and yet you both had reached it, one final glowing spot amidst a circle of space, wicks of fire in crimson petals forming a perfect ring.

One final breath into the air as you held her close and she held you closer, one arm by her waist, another meeting her hand as she stretched it out to the sides, slowly shifting with unsteady steps, humming a melody sweet as sunrise.

Bare, cold and yet together, you danced the night away as your eyes locked into her own, those amber suns that seemed to make everything alright, and that smile, that wonderful grin that warmed your heart and very soul, a pale white light slowly rising from you both as you rejected the cold, as you embraced in dreams and refused to let go. A bright white flame, burning brighter with every moment, holding on against the cold and the dark of the night, dawn soon to arrive.

Things weren’t perfect for the two of you. Chances were that they never would be, always some flaw to be found, an error done by mistake, an argument down the road. But deep, deep down you knew you’d make it. You just had to hold on, to give your best and carry on, no matter what. For her. For you.

You and her together, until the end.