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A Taste for Greatness

By Coldstone

A contribution to the Spring Equinox Anthology!

Just a half a step, and the whole world tipped. Alex's free arm swung wildly looking for some sort of purchase, fingers grabbing tight to the pole of the storage shelf beside him. The reassuring solidness gave him comfort as the rest of his body continued to tip, until tendons and muscles cried outrage and his falling body froze, almost as if that very shelf had attempted to dip him in preparation for a kiss.

This comparison became more terrifyingly real as the so-called solidness of that shelf also began to tip, making its collection of heavy containers slowly and ominously slide his way.

“Oh no-no-no-no-no-noooooo!"

Pushing himself back upright, he slammed against the shelf to push it back towards the wall. It gave a solid clunk of its base met the floor again, and the containers stopped sliding, save for one.

Unsurprisingly, the highest shelf had the most momentum to it, but being just one large container of sauce used for garlic knots, he found no reason to be scared of it—provided he caught the thing. He threw his hands up where they met the container easily. Triumph at narrowingly avoiding getting crushed under a falling shelf and avoiding a parting cheap shot from it filled his chest!

With a pop, the lid on the container sprang off. A deluge of sickly yellow liquid promptly blinded him. Cold, slick, and sticky, it splattered all down his front and through his hair. Tipping the container upright quickly stopped the mess—maybe saving two-thirds of it from spilling out—but the damage was more than done.

Of course, Antony burst through the kitchen door, probably in response to his earlier shout. He looked at him from head to toe, then to the container in hand. Outrage, alarm, confusion, more outrage, and finally confusion again flashed across the man's face. “What the hell happened here!?"

Alex resignedly spat out a dollop of sauce before gingerly offering the container to the chef. “Your pantry tried to kill me. First paper trash on the floor, then the shelf tried to sit on me."

“And then it poured sauce on you just to be cheeky?"

“...Yeah, pretty much."

Antony let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Alex knew he wanted to yell, but they both also knew it wasn't his fault (thank God), and it could have been far worse. The fact they were in the middle of a crazy rush for the Sky Dance Festival just made it much more tempting. Antony let out one more sigh before he looked up. “Well maybe it's a sign? Maybe I'm supposed to start a new tradition of Cannibalism for my human customers?"

“Of course not—I'm sure the pokemon would like a taste too." Alex began looking around for the cleaning supplies; cleaning himself up was probably a lost cause, but he could at least get the new slip hazard pooling at his feet.

Antony waved him off and gestured to the back of the room. “No. Go out the back and see if you can wash that off, somehow. I'll get Eddie to clean up. If we're lucky you won't look like you tried to swim in it."

“Wash it off with what? It's just a back alley!"

“There's an extension hose by the emergency faucet. Just screw it on and it'll reach out the door. Unless you want everyone to watch you sit hunched over half naked trying to wash up in here?"

“I could go home and wash up and come back."

“Hey, if you want to get sauce all over your bike while advertising yourself like a garlic knot, by my guest! I'm saying you should at least try to wash off what isn't soaking in first before you do that! Just be quick about it!"

Past the door, a Serperior slithered by with a pizza box expertly balanced on a vine. Three human girls—high schoolers it looked like—came through the front door. The crest of some four-legged pokemon too short to see over the counter; with every new nuance, the noise seemed to grow. Just as Antony turned back to the chaos, Eddie's head popped into view, eyes widening in surprise at Alex's situation before the door slammed shut. The noise now no louder than a muffled shout, Alex turned around to go to solve his own problems.

Waddling towards the backdoor, he saw the curled up, cobwebbed hose beside the faucet they used to fill the soup pots. At least their alley was actually reasonably clean, and shielded from most of the passing traffic. Only someone morbidly curious would bother to step in far enough to see him past everything else to watch him put the hose over his head trying to rinse out his hair and face first.

The Sky Dance Festival pretty much signified the celebration of watching a colony of Dragonair fly around the sky, making rain and yadda yadda—some old tradition thing about good fortune that commercialism basically took over. He remembered keeping an eye out as a kid before, looking for flying noodles in the sky, but spotting a blue-colored pokemon speck in a sky of blue was a lot harder than it sounded, and he always get jealous when he heard about others spotting one, and thus having all the good luck.

Antony's Pizzeria favored making a special out of garlic knots. What normally was a small, leftover bit of dough seasoned with oil, cheese and some spices (sold at a semi nominal price) transformed into a bigger, questionably sculpted figure of a dragonair (sold at a supposedly also semi nominal price).

Alex found the knots tasty enough, at least, and part of that reason he suspected came from Antony using five times the oil and other ingredients he didn't normally put into a bit of bread, but his love for carbs didn't include swimming in the sauce! Cold garlic sauce was particularly unpleasant, partially congealed and rather adverse to water already. He already knew his bath ritual was going to be especially arduous with the clumps he could still find just picking at his hair with his hands.

“What I wouldn't give for a pizza to take home and just say 'Fuck No' to the rest of the day..."

No pizza appeared. Not even a garlic knot. Instead he only had the hose to console him, now gushing its liquid goodness across his face as he tried to get some of the greasy sting from his eyes.

When he moved the hose aside and stood upright again, his sauce-soaked shirt now half scrunched and stiffened, exposing his belly. That part didn't really cause him any alarm: It was the warm, wet slick of something brushing against him that did all the work.

“GAH!"

He jumped backwards in surprise, then fell forward in blinding pain; Slamming your whole body (and the back of your head) into a brick wall tended to do that. Although still conscious, the pain going back and then forward stayed all too well, and it felt like an eternity before it died down enough for him to realize that whatever it was that had startled him was still licking him, albeit along his shoulder this time.

The licking stopped; the pokemon in question apparently registering his regained awareness. “That looked like it hurt. Are you okay?"

Alex let out a small grumble as he tried to focus on the blue blur. “If it looked like it hurt, what makes you think I'm okay?" He felt the back of his head, confirming the new lump forming there.

The voice giggled. “Good point! At least you still got your wits!" The licking resumed, now sweeping over the front of his shirt, tickling at the nap of his neck. And whatever this stuff all over you is! Did you jump into that too?"

The question explained a lot; somehow, a wild pokemon had wandered into town and found him, of all things. At least it seemed friendly. “It fell on me. Now cut that out, that tickles." He pushed at the blur, not keen on finding out if it found him or his clothing edible as well. Tried, anyways. Either the bruise to his head had taken a lot more out of him than he thought, or this pokemon was particularly sturdy. “Seriously; If you want garlic knots that bad you could at least get one like a regular customer instead of trying to lick it off me!"

Once more the voice giggled, but the licking didn't stop. Clearly enamored by the taste of the sauce, Alex gave up trying to push them away; whatever kind of pokemon this was, it easily matched him in overall height and had enough strength to bully him around. That didn't bode well, but it also made things that much stranger: What sort of giant pokemon sounded all giggly, looked blue, had a giant tongue and...

Whatever damage the hit to his head had caused finally seemed to clear up, restoring his vision to full working order. Despite the sun being well on its way past the alley, there was plenty of light to show the long, serpentine body before him. Dratini's head lifted into view, lips and tongue smacking together as they took a moment to reassess their meal. Their eyes met, one pair being huge, purple masses that reflected the slack-jawed face of a human.

Alex finally had the sense to scramble back when Dratini playfully licked his entire face with a garlic-scented tongue.

“JEEZUS!"

“Bless you!"

Dratini didn't seem phased by his reaction, even as he somehow scrambled a good six feet away in a second. It floated (yes, floated, then settled right back on the ground) closer to resume licking his shirt, prompting another scramble. After the second time, however, they seemed to catch on he wasn't just going to idly lay there and get licked; Dratini promptly wrapped around him to block off his escape before seizing his leg with the end of their tail. The world started to tilt as the tail rose, and Alex found himself upside down, one leg dangling freely and head resting atop a coil.

“Stop squirming so much! How do you expect me to lick all this off? You're gonna get dirt in it!"

Somehow he found his voice, indignation rising. “If you like it so much why don't you just swallow me whole!?"

Dratini paused at that, giving him a look like he'd said the stupidest thing in the world. “Ew! Gross! You were already trying to wash off whatever this is on you and it tastes great, but I don't eat humans. Or dirt."

The world went entirely upside down now, probably to minimize his contact with the alley floor. The new position meant that the broad, warm tongue tickling his body was now focused back at his belly and hips. Worse still, apart from the confused terror about maybe being eaten, a new sensation was now added to everything: laughter. That tongue tickled, and the sensation seemed even more intense just because of the adrenaline pumping through his system.

“Wait, stop! That tickles!' He tried for mercy.

Dratini's tongue didn't hesitate. If anything it almost moved as if to find an even better spot to make him squirm more.

“Ppffht, N-Not there! Stop THAT!"

The tongue just wormed its way in the opposite direction, getting a fresh tickle point and a fresher patch of garlic sauce.

“Uncle! Uncle!" he tried to flail, to rise up and grab at that tongue to pull it away, but all he managed to do was claw futilely against smooth, sparkly scales. Adding further insult to injury, between the oil from the sauce soaked into his pants and the awkward angle, his boxers now slid into view.

All this got another bemused giggle from Dratini. “Maybe you hit your head harder than I thought? I'm definitely not your uncle!" He could feel their breath brushing along his skin, searching for another bit of sauce to lick. “Ohh, but maybe you'll like this instead?"

That warm, wet tongue brushed teasingly across his hip, over sauce-soaked boxer trim, then somehow beneath. Dratini had very large snouts, or so Alex had thought, but somehow, this one managed to get theirs underneath and into his very personal space! He felt his boxers slipping down (or up) in front, his ass half exposed, and a warm and wet sensation now enveloped his dangling dick, making his foreskin ride back over the half-grown member, before it went back further to cover his now-topside hanging balls, flipping them back to their usual space.

The spike of pleasure came entirely unexpected. The wet muscle moved back the other way, his dick now stood as hard as a rock, and a strangled moan made its way out of his throat.

A few more swirling moves of that tongue made his body tremble before a brief disappearance foresaw another quip. “I guess you don't mind me helping clean this spot at least. Good boy."

He didn't have a chance to feel humiliated by the suggestive tone, or swear about the harassment, before that tongue was back in place and his goods jumped in glee. Like a jolt of electricity straight to his core, he let out another strangled moan, now squeezing at some part of Dratini's body. He barely registered the throb of his shaft and what it meant, even as that tongue dragged along his crotch to pull at his foreskin again before enveloping everything within its maw, seemingly impossible gyrations tickling along his glands. His shaft throbbed even harder, balls pulling in firmly until...

When he'd suggested pokemon would enjoy a taste of human flesh, the thought he'd be hanging upside down getting a blowjob had not once crossed his mind, nor what such a thing would feel like. Just like that, suddenly all the tension eased out of him and his grip loosened, vision blurred. Orgasmic bliss fogged his mind, though he became loosely aware that the world had righted itself again. Dratini said something that sounded teasing, but it didn't really register. All he knew was part of him needed a chance to recharge, and his brain desperately needed a reboot.

The giant lick to the face was a pretty good substitute for the latter.

“Was that really necessary?" He mumbled, eyes still firmly shut at the feel of drool everywhere.

“It'll wash off better than the other stuff!"

In the back of his head, Alex recalled the hose, running merrily off to the side, a growing puddle trailing a path out to the street. He remembered the Pizzeria, where dozens of people and pokemon were just a few doors away. Where Antony was surely swearing up a storm wondering what was taking him so lon—

“JEEZUS!"

Antony's voice sounded out in surprise. Before Alex could turn to look, his world spun abruptly, going from surprisingly cushioning coils to a dirty, solid alleyway. The impact knocked the breath out of him, dazing him once more as, at least from what he figured out after he regained his senses, Dratini flew off at being surprised by the other human.

Fortunately, in the time that Antony freaked out about seeing a Dratini, he'd managed to pull his pants back into place enough to at least not have his dick sticking out, though his position was hardly dignifying. Antony carried him back inside, checked his head, asked him several questions several times, and, surprisingly, shoved an overstuffed delivery bag into his hands.

“Go home, get some rest." Antony stated firmly, looking the most fatherly and least professional he'd ever been. “We'll manage something, but there's no reason to get you sick or eaten just because it's busy."

Alex blinked. Inside the bag were two large pizza boxes and another with the familiar smell of garlic knots. Almost like magic, his wish about heading home had come true, with interest. “Are you sure?"

“No but if you don't get out of here quickly I might change my mind!"

No sense looking a gift ponyta in the mouth, he quickly made his way out back again, turning off and coiling up the hose that'd laid forgotten. He couldn't ride his bike easily with a pizza bag in tow, so he opted to walk it, a slice of cheese-slathered pizza in hand. He made his way into the park and along the more obscure path that sat between his apartment and the pizzeria, mostly safe from questioning eyes of festival goers in the more open space of the area.

All in all, getting accosted by a rogue Dratini wasn't so bad. Looked like he finally got some of that luck he'd always want—

A giant coil of white and blue draped itself on his shoulders, surprisingly light. The half-eaten pizza slice vanished with a flick of a tongue, and suddenly pleased croons echoed around him. “Mmm, this is pretty good too!"

“Hey! What did I say about getting food like a regular customer!?"

Dratini looked down at him with bemused, pouty eyes. “But if I floated through the door in front, everyone would be too busy making a bunch of noise to feed me. And don't I need those funny round or green things to trade?"

Suddenly that carefree attitude became a lot more nuanced. “So you were snooping around looking for free food".

“Well, you were trying to wash the tasty stuff off yourself, so what's wrong with helping you get clean at the same time?"

“What do you call stealing food right out from my hand I'm actually eating?"

“A fair trade for helping clean another part of you that you probably didn't want cold water on."

The reminder of the surprise tongue job made his stomach flitter, but rather than dwell on that sexual escapade, another question leapt up in his mind. “What are you doing down here at the festival, anyways? Aren't you and your colony supposed to be flying around making it rain or something?"

“Oh, this is my first time on a flight, so I'm just supposed to observe and stay out of trouble." Dratini's voice suddenly dipped deep, apparently mimicking someone else. This didn't stop their nosing around the pizza bag, sniffing. “But then I noticed all the great smells floating up from around the city and I figured I'd go explore a bit. Is that more of that stuff on you I smell in here?"

Alex tightened his grip on both the pizza box and bag. “Yes, and it's mine. But I'll share some with you if you behave until we get to my home." He glanced around, suddenly aware of the few eyes that were now glued on the two of them. This path didn't normally get much traffic, but a Dratini still stood out against the sea of green and brown. He didn't want to risk another display of oral skills with witnesses. “If you cause a fuss here everyone's gonna freak out and make me drop it all, getting dirt on it."

The threat of ruining perfectly good food with dirt seemed to be exactly what he needed to get Dratini to behave, although it didn't stop them from idly inspecting him for leftover sauce spots on his head (He was pretty sure he now had a cowlick or three). The novelty of explaining what his bike was for, followed by watching Dratini 'ride' on the handlebars to steer it for him likewise provided some entertainment for them both until they got to the main street at the other side. Suddenly the crowds got a lot bigger, and the situation became much more intense for him

Unlike before, Dratini didn't dart off at first exclamation of surprise. Thankfully, the healthy mix of pokemon and humans in combination meant simply seeing a Dratini didn't cause an uproar, but the fact the festival was still about Dragonair added a certain murmuring to the crowd. Kids lit up in excitement, teenagers and adults looked on with a mix of envy and wistfulness, and a few even offered up—of all things— garlic knots. The last part definitely caught Dratini's attention, and before anyone could point out how rude it was to throw food, they were munching up every bit that was thrown by enthusiastic worshipers.

Somehow, they made it to his apartment, his food safe and his sudden 'friend' much more content. He somehow convinced them to float over to the couch while he put his bike away, but when he returned with some pizza and garlic knots on a plate, he found a gently snoring pile of coils.

After a moment of contemplation, Alex shrugged and sat himself down in a lone chair and began to eat. He could wait a bit before asking more questions. He had a feeling reheated pizza and garlic knots would do just fine for Dratini.

---

Alex woke with a start, wincing as the throb on the back of his head said hello. Maybe letting himself fall asleep after banging his head against a wall had been a bad idea? But after scarfing down half a pizza and some garlic knots, it was hard not to get sleepy, even with...

From half asleep to fully alert, his head darted around, looking for Dratini. The search was short lived as he found the human-sized serpent now curled around the coffee table on the floor, doing... something? Another something, and the table rocked a bit, the sound of odds and ends shaking on the table giving him a clue as to what woke him up. “What are you doing?"

Dratini paused and looked his way, surprised, but then suddenly cheery. “Oh! You're awake! Sorry about falling asleep. I was stuffed after all that food and nest thing was comfy."

“It's a couch, but close enough. What are you doing to the coffee table?"

Glancing back and forth from table to human, Dratini held up the end of its tail. There, at the pointy tip, suddenly there were three. “Shedding, apparently. I needed something more solid to help loosen the skin."

Well, that made more sense than humping the table. “Oh... did you still want some of that pizza and garlic knots I offered earlier?"

Naturally, the mention of more food seemed to be the right answer. “Oh, you did! Yes please! I only got to try one piece of the 'peesa."

“Pizza. Give me a minute then."

Surprising, Dratini didn't follow him into the kitchen nook, focused on the end of their tail. They didn't see him open the fridge with all the easily accessible (if probably alien) food, or make use of the magic box (microwave), but as the leftovers heated up and their smell filled the apartment, Alex only had to turn around to find them floating in the air behind them, eyes wide, curious, and hungry.

“Bon Appétit." He sat the plate on the counter beneath their nose.

That gaze switched from him to the plate, yet it hesitated. “...You did what to it?"

“...Right. No, that was just me saying 'please enjoy. It's French or something."

Confusion cleared up, Dratini immediately slurped up a slice of pizza. Freshly heated as it was, the next reaction came as a series of noises protesting the intensity both in temperature and flavor, but that didn't hinder the enjoyment in the slightest.

Of course, also apparently lacking any sense of table manners, Dratini's floating form also settled onto the counter, draped along its edges and top, tail tip twitching in apparent delight. The trip of tail tip and shen skill all wiggling brought Alex's focus back to the earlier talk of shedding, which reminded him of a few other questions that'd cropped up in his head. “I don't suppose you have a name?"

Dratini looked his way, swallowing the garlic knot they'd switched to with a loud gulp. “Hm? Oh! I'm Winli!"

“Alex. Nice to meet you, Winli. Happy Sky Dance Day."

“H'ff' S'i 'anff 'ay!" Winli repeated back with another garlic knot in their mouth.

He chuckled quietly at that, then reached out to carefully touch that tail tip. It still wiggled under his finger, but otherwise didn't pull back. Compared to the rest of Winli's skin, it felt extraordinarily smooth, and looked it as well; glossy and precious. “Doesn't shedding take forever or something? Should you really be doing that in some place you've never been before?" He stroked over the tip with his finger before gently sliding it deeper towards where the skin was peeling off. He felt the two segments steadily resist before gently splitting as he added a little progress to the process.

His original touch didn't cause a reaction earlier, but the sudden tremble from tail tip to head and the internal moan that wasn't caused by pizza made him pause. Winli, despite lacking arms, shoulders, or, well, anything to express with like a human, looked convincingly embarrassed by it. “H-Hey! Careful! My skin's very sensitive while shedding."

That made him pause, though Winli didn't pull their tail away from his hand. “Did it hurt?"

“No, it just kinda, well, tickles."

A new, devious question came out next. “It won't actually harm your skin though, right?"

“No, it's just less protective against getting bit or—AUGH!"

With a sudden jolt, Winli's whole form spasmed and fell off the counter, save for the section of tail Alex had secured under one arm as his other hand went back to stroking and easing the old skin from the new, with nefarious intent. Human-sized as the Dratini was, it was much easier to hold onto one than to push them off; Alex only had to brace himself against the counter as the wiggly appendage tried to escape. “This is for tickling me earlier and not respecting my boundaries—oh and stealing my slice of pizza the first time!"

“WaitstopI'msorryIyieldIyieldIAAUUUGooohHH!" Winli's pleads faded out with incomprehensible moans and other entertaining noises, unable to resist the constant work of his fingers; Alex had either found an actual ticklish spot on their body, or freshly shed skin truly felt that sensitive.

So long as he wasn't actually causing real damage, however, he didn't see any reason not to get some well deserved revenge. He paused in his work, slowly stroking only a single finger along a segment of tail that trembled but didn't quake. Winli's form eased and settled, leaving them panting heavily while giving him a not-quite glare. “What's the matter? Not used to being the one teased and bullied?"

Winli's glare grew—into a pout. “Couldn't you at least let me finish the food first?"

“Do you ever think of anything besides food?"

“Yes, but apart from shedding there's nothing else serious going on so I'm thinking about food!"

Alex grinned. “Well now you can think about now peeing yourself until I get tired of watching you squirm."

Once more, his fingers danced and stroked, Winli's eyes widening again before they broke into another wail of ecstatic horror. The long, blue-and-white form bounced against walls and counter sides, but didn't rise up violently or throw him off, things Alex knew should have been possible. If he had really been causing actual damage or offense, he'd have been blasted in the face or worse by now, so he continued, taking strange delight in the silky smooth trembles beneath his hand.

The shed skin now curled like a strange flower around the part of tail he'd exposed in his work. Far from complete, it was still a major show of progress compared to when Winli had been rubbing it against the coffee table. This, as well as the desire to torment the pokemon a little more, meant he didn't pause like last time in his efforts. He'd found one particular spot on that tail that seemed more determined to hold onto its shed skin than the rest, even as his fingers brushed against it like scissors from both sides. An added bonus was the fact that it seemed to be especially ticklish too, causing a more intense wail to come out of Winli and practically turn into putty on the floor.

The idea of the perfect pique to his revenge made him hold off pushing more firmly, instead focusing in on that space while it still seemed effective. What if he made use of both hands? He'd still need a way to hold onto that tail base though. Lifting one leg over, he straddled the base of Winli's body and pinched his legs, raising the end up and against his shoulder as he now used both hands to strong along the base of it and towards the indentation between... the... scales...

His fingers paused, the squirming eased, though not entirely. Alex stared dumbly at the slit that was very likely exactly what he thought it was, the shed skin still holding on flowering out from the crevice as they still held firm. Each heavy pant from Winli's overwhelmed form almost seemed to make them twitch.

The looming silence of the moment cracked with the sound of a firm rapping on the apartment window. Alex looked up and spotted a similar yet different blue face glaring in at him, the beaded end of a tail tip poised against the glass.

“Uh, Winli?"

“Mmnneehh~?" That probably translated to 'what?'

“Do you know the Dragonair at the window?"

He felt the coils shift and Winli's head poked up from the other side of the counter, it took a few seconds before he presumed they spotted the other pokemon, but when they did, He felt the tail between his legs stiff before the rest of it abruptly shot out of his grip and out of sight.

“Dad!?"

Apparently, he heard, the glare deepened, and the beaded tail tapped slowly, but firmly, on the window once more.

Maybe seeing Dragonair flying by wasn't so lucky after all?

Shit.

<end>