CPT Obmeyer: Ch. 10
Imported from SF2 with no description.
HANGING ON IN QUIET DESPERATION...
Ash falls and smoke rises on the 14th day of the Siege of Wind River.
It has been 9 days since you last saw your wife, and 5 days since your last patient of the day came into the clinic.
Mt. Ashina is burning.
The fire started sometime before sunset, around when the day's gunfire began to wane and the last of the wounded began straggling into camp.
What started as a single streak of black smoke on the near side of the khan's fortress grew mightily, turning for a time into an orange fireball that competed with the setting sun in brilliance.
A chill wind blows from the north-west onto Central Wyoming Regional Airport, carrying with it a cloud of ash from the desolate ruins of the once mighty castle.
It's an ill omen when considering the task ahead.
You, Pavel Obmeyer, guzzle the last of the lukewarm tea in your canteen, and brace yourself to reenter the field hospital.
Gliding through a tent full of worn out wounded and a busy nursing staff, you hang a left out the other side to stand before a similar green tent.
The words "Burn Ward" greet you on a laminated piece of paper stitched into the fabric of a canvas door, and you prepare yourself mentally for what comes next.
Only one patient waits for you inside, the very last of the day.
Her name is Penny Nielsen. She's been in the army for two years, she's an arctic fox, and her appearance is that of a tall, thin, classically feminine young woman with deep blue eyes and black paws.
Much like yourself, she's a nobody from the interior who never expected to be where she is now. She joined the army more from necessity than desire, and against her own better temperament at that.
Half of her body is wrapped in bandages and she dozes like a sedated corpse.
It's more from melancholy than genuine tiredness.
You wake her up with a gentle shake and soft words. "Hey there...are you awake?" You ask, taking her good hand. "How's Penny doing today?"
Wiping the sleep from her face blearily with a badly burned right hand, it takes the girl a moment to fully realize where she is and who she's talking to.
The sensation has gone from much of her body, as it swims in a sea of antibiotics, tranquilizers, and painkillers.
"...Pavel?" She asks fretfully, her vision gradually coming into focus. "...how long was I out? Is it morning?"
One of Penny's eyes glances around sluggishly for you. The other has been covered by an eye patch, and will remain that way for the rest of her life.
"Hey..." You murmur comfortingly, "don't worry about that now. It's time to change your dressing like we talked about earlier. Are you ready? We can wait on Doctor Roe, if you'd prefer me not to be there."
Penny doesn't respond right away; You've had to sedate her for much of her stay in the field hospital.
She tried to rip the bandages off and run out into the snow on her first day. Doc Roe has had her under close watch ever since.
"Dressings...?" She asks, her bad hand reaching up to touch the gauze on her face. "That's the... the bandages?"
You nod, and continue to cradle her good hand. "That's right, Penny. They need changing and we need to keep you clean, remember? It's been a moment, and it's time for your bath."
A small kerosene space heater hums soothingly in the corner.
Just about everyone in the field hospital could use a bath, honestly. The whole place reeks of sweat, musk, and fur.
Understanding only gradually dawns on her, and she grips your hand more tightly from fear.
"Please don't make me, Pavel..." She pleads.
Penny's breathing picks up into an anxious canine pant, and she tries her best to keep the bandaged side of her body away from you.
You've got her locked in place however with concerned eyes, and 'no' isn't an answer you can accept.
Sanitation is going to be key to her recovery.
"No one should hafta see me...!" She sobs, and covers her face shamefully.
"I don't wanna hafta look in a mirrr..." She slurs, and curls up into a pitiful ball of pale fur and cream colored wrapping.
For a second, you're concerned she's working herself up to rip the bandages off again.
To your great relief and terrible heartache, she merely wipes a stream of tears away from her damaged eye socket.
You pause, and try to figure out what Penny most needs to hear; Not necessarily the truth, but rather what's going to raise the poor fox's spirit now that her world has been shattered.
What do you say to make her want to get up on her own initiative?
You think back, and remember something she said earlier:
"You shouldn't be here. Boys need protecting from ugly things like me."
"But I need someone I know I can trust, Penny..." you begin, leaning in intimately towards her good ear. "You know there's a shower in the terminal, right?"
She nods morosely in between sniffles, and seems to uncurl a bit. "Y-yeah?"
"Well..." You sigh, slumping your shoulders to appear more helpless. "They fixed the hot water the other day, and I really want to go. I'm scared though."
That gets her to perk up.
"You're...sssssscared?" She slurs again, her dilated blue eye doing its best to stay focused on you.
You meet Penny's gaze and give her the biggest, most pleading set of sad kitty-cat eyes you can.
19 years of practice serve you well today.
"It's been cleaned up and looks really nice now, but I'm not brave enough to go on my own. Doc Roe's got the whole thing reserved for you though-"
Penny whines pitifully, and does her best to disappear.
"-and if we went together, we'd both have a chance to get clean."
Her good hand lets go of yours, and she curls up again pitifully. "I don't wanna be a burden...!" She cries, and pulls the covers up over her head.
"You wouldn't be a burden, Penny." You say reassuringly, and give her a bit of space to let out her sorrow.
She's been holding it all in these past few days, despite what happened to her. It's something of a relief to see her finally processing her emotions, even if it feels awful for her in the moment.
You decide to let her cry herself out before speaking again. No giving up this easily with her health on the line.
"I'm scared, Penny..." You say, approaching her side. "That's why I need you. No one would try to follow me in if they saw you protecting me."
The poor girl sobs again, this time hard enough to cause heaving, and you dash to her side with the bucket she's been spilling the contents of her stomach into for the better part of a week now.
She wipes her mouth after a moment, takes a deep, shuddering breath, and wraps her arms around herself protectively. "No one needs me anymore..."
You put an encouraging hand on her good shoulder, and the poor fox leans in despite herself.
"But I need you, Penny. I try so hard to be brave, but I'm just as scared as everyone else. I know you're brave, though. If not for yourself, could you do this for me?"
She closes her good eye, and takes another deep breath.
"Okay..." you hear, just barely perceptible over the hum of the heater. "I can....I can be brave for you."
You sigh in relief, and make sure the poor fox hears it. "Thank you so much dear...this means a lot to me."
Framing things in a shy, self-conscious way could very well have backfired, had you not pegged Penny as the chivalrous type from the very beginning.
"Let me go tell Doc Roe and we can go together, okay?"
She wipes her face with the corner of her blanket, and nods. "Okay..."
You pass into the neighboring tent to inform Doc Roe of your intentions.
"Hear that girls?" She announces to the other nurses over her shoulder, "little brother's finally done it," and hands you the key to the showers.
You're surprised and relieved to find Penny sitting shyly on the edge of her bed, waiting for you.
She can do that all on her own now. That's a very good sign for her recovery.
Though almost two feet taller than you, the poor fox seems to shrink to half her height behind you when it's time to depart for the showers.
You stop only occasionally to let her reorient herself, and lead her gently by the hand down a long series of back corridors.
The recently cleaned guts of the transportation hub pass you by, and you soon find yourself outside a long abandoned locker room.
You suppose this isolated place was meant for the former runway workers after a long day of hauling other people's bags and being coated with all kinds of oil, grime, and sweat.
Isolation has thankfully spared it from overuse, especially now that it's working again. Fur is a bitch to clean out of a drain, so army plumbers are a wildly overworked bunch.
Coleen Honore, the colonel's daughter, stands watch outside the entrance while flipping through an ancient looking Before-World magazine.
She's got an amused smile on her face that only broadens when she sees you. "Hey, Pavel!" She calls, flinching at the sight of Penny but refusing to show it on her face. "I need a second opinion on this, and you're smart: ARE the Soviets beating us in the space race?"
The cover of her magazine is faded from age, yet you can still make out an artist's rendition of a Soviet-Era rocket ship.
You laugh at the ancient thing, and even Penny perks up to look curiously over your shoulder.
"I found it under one of the lockers while scrounging for Before coins. Not sure where I can find a 'Walkman,' but I'm hype and I want one."
"That thing's an artifact" you say truthfully, unlocking the door. "Probably worth a lot to someone in The City, if you can find the right buyer."
The roo's eyes widen, and she holds the magazine gingerly between her hands. "Wait, seriously?! People pay money for stuff like this?!"
"Thousands," you lie cheekily, and slip into the next room with Penny in tow. "Congratulations on your promotion, by the way. Keep making me proud, okay?"
Motivating words are always more powerful when they come from a boy, and she flashes you a respectful salute.
"Thank you sir, I will!" She declares, and you return the gesture before slipping into the showers with your charge.
After few minutes of inventory and preparation, you stand (mostly) naked in a small, open public shower, waiting patiently for Penny to remove her robes.
Penny insisted on doing this part herself, which isn't surprising. Anthros can be prideful creatures, and she doesn't want to feel weak in front of a boy.
She can't quite do it on her own yet, though; The robes require someone else to undo the knot on the back.
You turn around politely when it comes time to take her bra and skivvies off.
The gesture is ultimately pointless, but an important one.
You're going to see everything once the bandages start coming off, but it's good for morale if patients retain a sense of dignity.
Penny blushes and turns away when your own pants come off, which is more courtesy that you've come to expect from most.
You've got an old pair of basketball shorts on for modesty, yet she's still embarrassed and a little excited by your body.
Doc Roe left for you a bucket, some soap, a sponge, and a stool for her to sit on while you work.
With burns like these, delicacy is almost as important as cleanliness.
The procedure starts with sitting Penny down, and cutting off the first layer of gauze with a pair of scissors.
After that you move onto the second layer, gradually peeling it away bit by bit with gloved hands.
She pulls back and away once completely exposed, and you can't really blame her. The fur on the right side of her face is missing.
It is, in truth, an unpleasant sight. There's no use denying it, especially now that her wounds have begun to scab and dead skin has begun to flake.
Though her skin is red and inflamed there's still life in her.
"Things are starting to look better." You say encouragingly. "You really are brave, aren't you?"
Penny closes her eye and leans into your hand as you wash her gently with the sponge. "It's bad though... mmmuh...m-my face is messed up." She whines sadly. "Fur doesn't grow on scar tissue."
"I mean...it doesn't," you admit, "but that's okay. It's not too bad in some places, see? Not every burn is scarring. There's only so much fur missing because we had to shave you."
Some of the tension seems to leave the fox's shoulders, even as you rinse her more severely burned side.
You dip the sponge back in the bucket, and prepare yourself mentally to move onto her face.
Soap suds and flakes of skin are wrung out, which you're thankful Penny can't see.
"Saw you got a letter from your family the other day. Feels like it's been ages since I last saw mine." You say conversationally. "I can help you write something back, if you want. Two heads are better than one, right?"
Your patient seems to have dozed off a bit. The feeling isn't entirely unlike a massage.
"That-- I would, t-that would be nice Pavi." She murmurs hazily, and puts her good hand on your arm. "Can I ask you somethin'? I-it's a bit personal..."
There have been a lot of personal questions from the patients since you got here, but you're not about to shut the girl down now that she's opening up again.
Morale is something you can't quantify, yet affects everything you do in medicine.
'Quite a bit like war.' You think darkly.
"You can ask. I don't mind."
Penny gasps lightly, and moans into your hand as you do a once over around her ear and the back of her head.
"Did they take your mama away?" She asks timidly.
Your hand freezes mid motion.
"How do you know about that, Penny?"
She looks over her shoulder at you, looking into your soul with an empathetic, melancholy eye.
"I'm sorry, Pavi. There was this hare talkin' about it the other day, and I overheard."
Tears well up in Penny's eyes. "Are we really taking away people's moms just because they're human folk?"
Huh?
"Oh! Uh...that..." you murmur.
This conversation's jumped from painful to uncomfortable in the course of a sentence.
"My mama's not human, actually. She..."
There's still no word from Goll about what's happened to your family, and you suspect she's withholding information on purpose.
A pit has opened up in your heart where they once were, like a wound that won't heal until you know everyone's safe.
Change the subject before you get emotional.
"I'm not sure we can talk about that, Penny. Inspector Goll showed up on base yesterday, and the State doesn't like human women."
"Even if they're moms...?" Penny asks, real heartbreak in her voice.
She didn't sign up for that. No one signs on to destroy families.
"Yeah..."
Penny sniffles again, and rubs her face. "I'm sorry, Pavi...I wasn't thinking. I don't mean to get you in trouble, but is it true what she said? Are we stealing husbands?"
You dip the sponge, wring out some more dried blood and skin, and move on to the fox's back.
She's got a thick double coat, so you're going to have to knead the soap in with your fingers.
"It happens, yeah. Inspectors don't like people talking about it... There was a kid I knew growing up who lost his mom when they assigned his dad."
Penny sighs wearily.
"I'm gonna move onto your front now. Do you want to try doing it on your own?"
She hesitates for a moment. Your eyes pass each other by chance, and she blushes.
"I..." she bites her lip nervously. "I think you should do it."
That's perfectly alright. Things like this are difficult when you don't have the full range of motion.
"Could you make the water warmer? I get cold easily since the-"
Her mind skips like a scratched record when it comes across the memory of what happened.
"-s-since the thing happened."
Someone needs to tell you what went down eventually. Even you were drafted for the ambulances.
"Certainly dear," you answer, and turn on one of the shower heads to refill the bucket with hot water.
"My mom...she died when I was real young, and I can't talk about that neither. She got shot at Billings." Penny sniffles. "I don't really remember her face anymore. I'm glad you've got yours."
"The Disaster at Crow...?" You ask with a glance towards the door.
She nods. "They don't talk about it in the books anymore, but..."
Penny seems to freeze up when she catches something in the air.
"I-I have the medal Mom left me when she died." The fox's grip on the seat tightens and she takes a deep, shuddering breath. "They can never take that back from me."
This conversation is bordering on dangerous again. Divert her.
"Is that why you joined the army?"
"No...I kinda had to." Penny admits.
"My stepmom...she's not so nice sometimes, and was gonna kick me out when she lost her job and money got tight. I tried to go to FMI like mom, but they sent me to Sioux Falls instead."
"Must've been hard leaving everyone behind. It was for me."
'Bucket's just about full now.' You think, and prep the soap for more.
"I love my baby brother, even if I don't get along with my stepmom. She's a fox like me, and he smells just like her. How come you smell like a human?"
You rise to collect the refilled bucket, and enjoy a bit of hot water from the shower head.
A part of you is aware how closely the fox's eye has started to follow you, but you push the thought down from a sense of professional responsibility.
"Really? I'm surprised I don't smell like tiger, or bunny. What do humans smell like?"
"Like...like lots of things! Different things!"
You shut the shower back off, and go to reach for the bucket.
Soft, padded hands reach around you from behind, and you jump.
"You smell like the kindest, most beautiful person in the world," she croons, just barely loud enough to hear.
Instinct screams at you to throw her off, but you hesitate.
'This is very bad' you think, panicking internally. 'She's not in a good place right now.'
Wet fur touches your back, and you're pulled more closely against her stomach.
"I...I think I love you, Pavel." Penny whispers into your ear.
An uncomfortably pleasant sensation races through your body.
The unblemished side of her snout nuzzles your hair, and her own body shivers too.
"Everything smells wrong now, like it's from miles and miles away, but not you. It makes me feel like there's hope, knowing a boy like you likes me back..."
You try to take her hands off of your hips, but the patient resists.
This needs to stop RIGHT NOW!
"I'm married!" You shout, a little louder than you'd intended.
"You said you liked me!" Penny whines, her voice dripping with heartache. "Do you have to be married right now? I..."
She chokes back a pained sob and presses on, despite her better sense.
"I just wanna pretend someone can still love me..." She whispers, heartbreak dripping from her words. "Please Pavel..."
"Of course I like you." You protest, trying to pull away more forcefully. "But not like that. I haven't stopped talking about my wife, you KNOW that Penny, and you're the same age as my sister."
All true, except Penny feels more like Millie than Sofi. God above, the feeling is downright disturbing.
Penny's tongue licks your ear intimately, desperately, as if trying to win back what she never had.
"Please, please Pavi! Let me touch it...!" She begs, and reaches down your shorts. "I need to know it's soft and you're telling the truth!"
You don't bother trying to respond. Anthros can't be reasoned with when they go off like this.
Instead you follow a spark of inspiration and slip out of the patient's grasp by buckling your knees.
"I SAID NO!"
Penny tries to catch you before you can flee, but stumbles on wobbly legs and lands hard enough on her knees to draw blood.
The pain seems to jolt her back to her senses, and her eye widens in sudden, painful realization.
"I-- I didn't mean to...! I didn't want to...!" She gasps.
The weight of everything she just tried to do hits her all at once. Tears well in her eyes, and the fox's hands, burned and unburned alike, tremble.
Penny doubles over in sobs more agonized than any you've heard from her over the last five days.
It's strange.
Even the worst anthros are almost impossible to truly hate.
A moment ago you looked at her and saw a pent up rapistand an unchained animal.
Now you see Penelope Nielsen for what she is:
A confused, lonely, and deeply shaken young woman who just wants to feel like someone might still love her again.
Quietly you turn the water from hot to cold, bring her head to rest on your stomach, and hold her as she cries. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...! Please don't hate me!"
Something Papa once said repeats in your head, unbidden. It's something he said to you after the Millie fight:
'Do you know what makes us different from the animals, Pavel?'
"I don't hate you, Penny."
'Forgiveness, son. To forgive is divine.'
It takes an entire hour to reapply all of Penny's bandages.
Her fur needed to be dry first, no easy task without an industrial sized blow dryer, and the shame of her earlier actions made her hesitant to touch you more than necessary.
She didn't mind your help getting back into her robes, though. You suspect her painkillers are starting to wear off, as her movements have become more rigid and stilted.
"Umm...Pavel? I'm sorry again about earlier."
You sigh internally, but smile outwardly.
"It's okay. Just don't mention what happened, don't apologize again, and all is forgiven. You wouldn't be the first person to try something since I got here, but people are starting to get...protective of me. I don't want your care compromised because someone made the wrong assumption."
Penny hunches up meekly behind you, her hands seeking reassurance on your shoulders before pulling back regretfully.
"I--I'm bad though. I tried to do something bad to everyone's little brother. We're supposed to protect humans and cherish them."
You take Penny's good hand in yours, and do your best to imitate the way Beckett is affectionately stern with her recruits.
"Cadet Nielsen, as your nurse I'm ordering you to stop talking down on yourself." You declare, holding a finger up to her nose.
"Recovery is hard enough when it's just pain you have to deal with. Positive thoughts only from now on, please."
You take another page out of Beckett's book, and boop Penny's snoot. "That's my friend you're talking about."
The fox goes cross-eyed, covers her nose with her hands, and blushes.
Then she giggles.
Gospodi pomiluj, it is sweet to hear that sound from her.
"Am I understood, Cadet?"
"Crystal, sir." She replies appreciatively.
You, Penny, and Coleen Honore depart the showers for the field hospital a few minutes later.
PVT Honore warned you about some "angry cow" skulking around when she got back from taking a leak, and you receive another chilly reminder of how vulnerable you are.
How did she know you would be here...?
Either she's been following you more closely than you thought, already a disturbing notion, or the far worse possibility that she has spies in the field hospital.
Every trooper is technically supposed to be informing to their embedded inspector on matters of morale and ideological adherence.
Someone like Doreen wouldn't hesitate in the slightest to exploit those obligations for personal gain.
As for the rest, Penny may have come to her senses, and even felt bad about what she did, but what about the others?
How long are you going to last before someone far less conscientious and kindhearted takes notice of you?
You almost fail to notice Penny has come to a halt outside the main field tent.
"Hey Pavi, I think...umm..." She says nervously, her tail drooping between her legs. "I w-want to, maybe..."
"Sometime today, please," says the kangaroo to your right.
You give Coleen the stink eye.
"Sorry! Sorry, that was impulsive, I'm sorry..."
Penny takes a deep breath before trying again.
"Do you think it'd be okay if I stayed with the others tonight?" She asks. "I think I'm ready to try being around other people again, e-especially since you'll be there..."
"Absolutely, Penny."
Doc Roe looks almost shocked when she sees Penny following you in. "I see you brought your A-game tonight little brother. Good to see you miss Nielsen, welcome welcome!~"
The snow leopard flashes her signature Cheshire smile, and points to a pair of speakers stacked on some a crate in the middle of the room. "As it happens, you're just in time for disco night."
You pinch the bridge of your nose, sigh, and lead Penny to an unoccupied bed adjacent to the conversation.
You are so fuckin' sick of disco right now.
"If you're not up for more KC and the Sunshine Band, Pavel, you're free to bring your own CDs or try to get the radio working again.~"
"I am very sick of KC and the Sunshine Band." You groan. The last two attempts to get the radio working have failed, and Roe knows it.
As it happens however, you've got an ace up your sleeve tonight.
You return to Penny's bed with a fresh set of heavy blankets, and tuck the fox in tighter than your baby sister when you play "purrito."
"Promise me you'll let the night nurse know if you get cold, okay? Hypothermia is a real risk factor for you right now."
"I promise, Pavel."
You flash her another thumbs up. "Good girl."
"Hey, Pavel!" Calls your mentor, standing beside an unknown patient. "Got a moment? I think I need a second opinion.~"
Penny nods encouragingly at you, and you approach the new arrival.
You're technically off duty right now, but you also can't see what's wrong with the patient and that's got you curious.
"Evening miss" you say. "How can we help?"
"What the fuck? The nurse is a guy?!" Shouts a young, well built badger woman sitting upright in her bed.
Your eyebrow rises coolly. "Was that not obvious...?"
The badger growls irritably and waves her hand swiftly in front of her face. "You know, I'm sure it's very fuckin' obvious if you have working eyes. Sure fuckin' wish I did. I'm told you guys, like, dabble in medicine here, so how about you start by fixing them?" She shouts.
Doc Roe rolls her icy blue eyes, and you check the intake sheet at the foot of the patient's bed.
SGT Tabitha Bishop
"Blindness, I'm guessing?"
"Oh, he's a smart one isn't he?" Bishop the badger asks acidly. "You're a preferred assignment, aren'tcha boy?"
"Class A, baby." You respond with some small amount of pride.
Roe's tail flicks irritably, and her smile falters for a moment. "Take it from the top, little brother: what's wrong with this patient?"
She holds out a small light for you, and steps aside as you approach the patient.
"Chairwoman forbid someone start treating me. Y'know, in this fuckin' field hospital ." Grumbles the badger.
You bend over Bishop's bed and wave the light back and forth between her eyes without a word.
The patient doesn't flinch in the least, or even notice anything is happening.
"Well, we know it's not malingering." You remark clinically. "The patient isn't tracking at all. Her eyes are dilating, which is a good sign, and makes me think her optic nerve is intact."
Roe gives you a polite golf clap. "Very good, Pavel. Now, what could the cause be?"
"Head trauma?" You ask.
"My dome's just fine , thanks." Bishop gripes. "Some real Class-A bedside manner here, I see."
"No offense meant ma'am, we're just thinking out loud." You say to propitiate her. "Can you tell me when the symptoms started?"
The badger looks set to go off on you again, but restrains herself. Looking off to the side, it takes her a moment to respond.
"About 5 days ago. Shit got..." She runs a hand through the fur on her head. "Shit got crazy. Saw some evil things go down I'm not allowed to talk about."
Roe gives you a knowing look.
"Was this the big one?"
"Yeah...guess you could call it that. Whole of Dog Company saw what happened."
"I remember that day. I was with the ambulance team...quite a few wounded."
Bishop bites her lip, and covers her eyes unconsciously with her hand. "More dead than wounded, kid..."
You know what happened.
"FNsR?"
Called hysterical blindness in olden times.
"Certainly possible, given the evidence. How would you treat this, nurse?"
You grab the sergeant's chart and flip a couple pages. "I wouldn't have left her in the field for another 5 days, for one. That's when her vision started going. Am I correct in my assessment, sergeant?"
She sighs. "I was fine at first. Shit was a little..." the badger trails off, "shit was a little fuckin' blurry, but I could still move. I still had both my legs, all my organs. Why's this happening now, Doc? Some kind of eye infection, or...?"
You put her chart back and glance over at Penny, who's watching you curiously.
5 days ago...
"It's nothing antibiotics can treat, I'm afraid. What happened was nothing you could have prevented, either." Roe says truthfully, reassuringly, albeit with a major omission. "This isn't your fault, sergeant."
"CPT Obmeyer tore me a new asshole when she found me. Said I was wasting time by avoiding treatment. Real piece of work, that one."
Lotte...?
"One hell of a bad bitch, too. Fuckin' hell, that bunny's downright scary ."
'Damn right she is,' you think proudly. 'Baddest bitch in this whole fuckin' army.'
Doc Roe claps her hands together cheerfully. "Well now! I'm no psyche expert, admittedly, but I think it's safe to say some hot food and bed rest would do this patient a world of good. Don't you agree, Corpsman Koslov?"
You nod. "Agreed. On that topic, where's-?"
Speak of the devil, or small bunnies in oversized green uniforms, and she will appear.
SSGT Beckett and MC2 Farshaw parade into the field hospital with much fanfare at the head of a procession of food trays and clattering dishes.
"CHOW TIME!~"
Carts are set up, heaters are ignited, bowls are filled, and piping hot soup is dished out to several dozen hungry patients.
The biggest perk of being part with the medical staff is feasting with the wounded. Say what you will about Army cooking (Doreen's adventure stories weren't entirely hogwash), but no one in your field hospital eats like a badlander.
You've had hot food, fresh produce, and poultry every single meal. You haven't eaten this well since you were on the farm, and even then only around harvest time.
"Who cooked tonight?" You ask, stirring some bread into your chicken soup. "This is pretty excellent. I think there's real black pepper!"
"Oh, the usual team.~" Beckett says with a wink and a finger to her lips. "Best not to look a willing husband in the mouth, Pavi dear.~"
SGT Bishop stuffs another spoonful of chicken into her mouth and moans through her silverware. "Fuck, this is good. Black pepper or not, someone added thyme."
"Thank you for noticing, Tabitha." Beckett says, a dash of pink touching her cheeks. "I think I outdid myself tonight."
As it happens, you know for a fact black pepper and thyme went missing from the officer's pantry a few days ago...
The little bunny takes another bite, sighs dreamily, and rests her head in her hands. "I know it's bad luck to say it out loud, but I really hope my husband doesn't mind me in the kitchen with him. It'd be so romantic to make dinner together."
It would be, wouldn't it? You've never had a chance to cook with Lotte before.
Come to think of it, you're not sure if she even likes cooking.
...or knows how.
Or...
You stir the chunks of bread in your soup and sigh.
After all these weeks, and all the heartache your marriage has caused you both, your wife is still a mystery to you sometimes.
She has to have some interests outside of war, patriotism, and nicotine, but you've never found out what they are.
'It's like you're a stranger in your own home...' You think.
Do you really love your wife, or do you merely love what your heart pretends she is?
Your depressed rumination is interrupted by a sudden, unpleasant screech from Doc Roe's old CD player. MC2 Farshaw's hands fly triumphantly into the air.
"Hell yeah! And they said it couldn't be done!" She declares, and starts adjusting the frequency dial through a menagerie of clashing themes and genres.
"~If it takes foreveeeer~" croons a golden oldie, "~I will wait for you!~ For a thousand summers-!~"
The station changes.
"~They call me the seeker! I've been searching low and hiiiiiiiiigh!~"
The station changes again.
You can't make out a word of what the next singer is saying, and they sound like there's peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouth.
You conclude, via deductive reasoning, that they're either a talent-less mumble rapper or Pearl Jam.
Farshaw flicks through the spectrum repeatedly before finally settling on a station playing Zombie by The Cranberries.
99.3 FM, KBMR.
Hell. Fucking. YES.
You take your place next to MC2 in excited anticipation as she begins to mess around with her mysterious metal and plastic box.
A label on the side facing you reads "MOTOROLA ©, 1982."
This does not bode well for tonight's main event.
"You finally gonna get it to work?" Someone asks.
"Give it a sec," Farshaw responds, scratching the gauze around her head.
"Hasn't worked for as long as I've known her." Someone else quips.
"I've had it work before!" Farshaw replies, and you pick up the attached phone.
Nothing.
"Is there supposed to be a-?" You begin, but the housecat interrupts you.
"Yes there's supposed to be a dial tone! Just give me one GODDAMN minute and I promise it's gonna work!"
"Is that Gray Sweatpants?" Asks a mouthy cunt.
"FUCK YOU!" You shout over your shoulder.
"Oh please do, cutie!" croons CPT Washington, her broken leg suspended in a sling.
You stand up to go cuss in her face.
*Click! BRRRRRR-*
...
"Holy shit, we've got a dial tone!" You shout ecstatically, and start punching in numbers like a man possessed.
The whole room starts chattering animatedly about the surprise turn of events as the phone starts to ring.
To their astonishment, someone actually answers.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Bishop bellows louder than the whole room.
'This is one of those moments of destiny...' you think. 'History is about to be made.'
A chain smoking, dreadlock wearing cougar picks up on the other end of the line.
"HEY HEY PUNK ROCKER, YOU'VE REACHED JAMMIN' JANICE JOPLIN AND BISMARCK'S OWN K-BMR "THE BUZZARD BANGERS!" THIS IS THE HELLCAT HERSELF!"
You squeal like a giddy fanboy because that's exactly what you are right now.
You're actually on the air!
"Hey! long time listener, first time caller! Just wanna say I've been a fan of you guys since you were still playing Grateful Dead bootlegs!"
This is the greatest moment of your life.
"A CUTIE AND A TRUE DISCIPLE OF MUSIC? RIDE ON! WHERE ARE YOU CALLING FROM, HOT STUFF?"
"Wind River! We're, like, 5 miles away from the shooting!"
"OH SHIT, THAT'S DOWNRIGHT METAL! CAN WE--"
You hear the sound of a microphone being jostled, and Janice's voice seems to get further away.
"Can we--, can we air this? Are we gonna-?"
She's back to normal a moment later.
"MY SOUND BOOTH GIRL CHEYENNE HAS INFORMED ME THAT WE ARE STILL A PIRATE RADIO STATION AND DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT OPERATIONAL SECURITY! WHAT'S YOUR ROCK AND ROLL SOUL THIRSTING FOR THIS EVENING, YOU BEAUTIFUL CUM-DISPENSER?"
Fuck fuck fuck, you didn't plan this far ahead!
People in the audience start shouting names and songs, so you just hold the phone up and leave it to fate.
"I HEARD "BAD REPUTATION" BY JOAN JETT AND THE BLACKHEARTS, IS THAT CORRECT YOUNG MAN?"
"Woohoo!" Bishop cheers.
"Totally!"
"NO CAN DO, MAGNIFICENT MAN OF MARVELOUS, MASSIVE SPERMATOZOA!"
Oh what?!
"WHILE I PERSONALLY FIND THE INSPECTORATE'S RECENT BAN ON FEMALE HUMAN PERFORMERS OVER THE AIRWAVES TO BE BOTH TYRANNICAL AND ENTIRELY UN-PUNK ROCK, MY SOUND BOOTH GIRL CHEYENNE HAS INFORMED ME SHE IS NOT RISKING THE DEATH PENALTY ON A PUBLIC MORALITY CHARGE WITH PIGLET NUMERO DOS ON THE WAY!"
"FUCK!" Shouts Bishop.
"FUCK INDEED, MYSTERIOUS SECONDARY CALLER! WHAT I DO HAVE IS A LEGALLY PERMISSIBLE COVER BY A LOCAL BAND CALLED "FANG FACE!"
"That works!" You say into the phone. "Hey, do a shout-out to my best friend Beckett!"
The little bunny screams.
You spend the next hour or so sitting with the girls in the clinic shooting the shit, arguing about what station to flip to next, and occasionally helping Doc Roe with some menial task.
The evening watch took over ages ago, but you hung around anyways for the company.
There's not much to do in an active warzone other than eat, work, or talk.
The time after dinner finds you and several others huddled around one of the kerosene heaters, listening to the last of the evening's music.
Beckett sits in the chair next to you, playfully kicking her short legs in the air beneath her heavy blanket. Something she said earlier pops up into your head.
"Are anthros really superstitious about Assignment?" You ask curiously. "They never stopped talking about Before-World superstition in Civics Class, and you said something about bad luck earlier."
Beckett perks up. "Hmm?" She asks through a mouthful popcorn in her mouth. "Oh, thash--"
She swallows.
"That's just something the kids on my block always said growing up. If you talk too much about the kind of boy you want you'll get the opposite."
One of the evening-shift nurses ruffles your hair as she passes.
"Night little bro!~" She sings.
You grumble sourly and reach up to fix your hair. "I wish they wouldn't do that."
Doc Roe leans forward to grab a fistful of popcorn from the communal bowl. "Oh but Pavel, haven't you heard?~ It's always good luck when a little brother is born, and the whole team just got a new one."
You point an accusing finger at Beckett. "I blame you for this 'little brother' stuff. This all started with you."
Beckett closes her eyes and looks away with false hurt on her face. "I have never encouraged anyone to call you that, Pavi! I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"You told me it was his nickname," Bishop says bluntly.
"BB, why?!" You groan.
"It's better than 'sweatpants,' okay?!" the little bunny protests, redfaced. "And besides, you've got little brother energy all over you! C'mon girls, back me up!"
Doc Roe wipes the crumbs from her white coat and reaches for more popcorn. "I wanna wrap you in a scarf and tell you to not talk to the mean girls down the street."
Bishop jabs her own finger at you, if slightly off center. "Hush boy, I can't even see and I know you've got babyface. You hum show-tunes whenever you're concentrating."
You feel your cheeks light up. "I do not!"
"He was humming a song from Oklahoma! earlier. Even sang a little bit." Coleen Honore chirps. "It was adorable!"
'Everythin's up to date in Kansas City! Seems they've gone as fer as they can go!~' sings a cowboy in your head.
Damnit, you JUST got that song off repeat...
Things start to snowball from there, and soon everyone in the tent is taking turns with their own story about you.
MC2 Farshaw is the first traitor.
"Cutie squealed like a schoolboy when the radio chick picked up. He's part cat, so he's definitely into cougars! Do you like punk rockers, Pavel?~"
You had a poster of Janice growing up, and cried the second time she was arrested.
Jacked off to it when you were 14 too, but you're not saying that out loud. She probably gave you a fetish for piercings.
"He gets a proud little smile on his face every time he tells a bad pun!" Shouts a dog in a neck brace.
"He always asks for help putting IVs in because he doesn't like hurting people." Says one of the nurses. "Had me squish a spider, too!"
'That was definitely a black widow, and her arms are longer!' you lie to yourself.
"I didn't realize he was the new trainee when we first met," Roe chimes in with a laugh. "I thought they'd finally approved an emotional support human for the office."
To everyone's surprise, Penny speaks up from her bed for the first time this evening. "H-he had me escort him to the showers 'cause he was scared to go by himself. It made me feel all fuzzy inside, like I wanna protect him forever."
That was for her confidence! NGGGH!
You stuff your bright red face in your hands and whine pitifully.
From the corner of your eye you see Bishop do a double take and leap out of her seat.
"Hold on, is that Nielsen?! You alive out there girl??"
Penny perks up inside her purrito.
"I-it's me sarge. Thing didn't get me."
Bishop sighs wearily, a heavy weight lifting from her shoulders. "Thank fuck. Heard you got burned somethin' bad. You really look like bacon now?"
You, Beckett, and the entire medical staff freeze up.
All eyes leave you and move to Penny, waiting fearfully for her response.
"Y-yeah? A-and?" she stammers after a moment's hesitation. "J-just means you aren't the ugliest in Dog Company anymore, ma'am!"
The badger recoils cartoonishly, and the whole room breaks out laughing.
"Oh what?! I did not just get burned by Penny fuckin' Nielsen!"
You sit back up, grateful the attention is off you. "Fuck, that's two in the burn ward now."
"I-I get to look cool now!" The fox shouts over roaring laughter. "You don't get to look at all!"
This could've gone very badly, but it didn't. You underestimated her.
"Makin' me proud, Penny..." you murmur.
Bishop takes her seat again, and fumbles around the ground for her blanket. "Likewise," she says with a hidden smile on her face.
"Hey Doc, how's blindness gonna affect my assignment ranking? Am I getting a husband tomorrow, or what?"
"Or what." Roe quips dryly. "Gotta be a career-ender for that. Inspectors seem to think we'll start shooting each other in the foot if they give out husbands just for injuries."
You feel a soft, fuzzy arm wrap around your shoulder, followed by a padded leopard paw ruffling your hair.
"And to answer your earlier question little brother, girls are very superstitious about assignment. I once treated a girl from the badlands who ate a whole pound of rancid cheese because it was supposed to help."
"I remember her!" Coleen chimes in. "She was in the same cohort as me. It was supposed to 'fascinate' Inspector Goll into giving her early assignment. She tried the same thing again on some townie she liked."
Some townie? There's no one around base for miles, unless...
"Is she a fennec?"
"Yeah, you know her?"
Poor thing...
Beckett shakes her head sadly, pulling her legs into her seat as she readjusts her blanket. "That's not what love's supposed to be."
You're out of your chair tucking her in before you even realize what's happening.
"Thank you little brother.~" She sing songs with those big, soulful brown eyes shimmering at you in the soft kerosene glow.
Sigh.
You give up. You've got little brother energy. No point fighting it.
"See that girls?" Beckett asks, a big, happy smile on her face. "That's what fascinates someone, not cheese! I knew he was my little brother the moment I saw him."
"Oxytocin fascinates people." Roe says clinically. "Anthro brains secrete a small dose of it every time we see a human face. We're hardwired to love them."
Beckett's eyes narrow on Roe, her smile flipping into a frown as if personally offended by what was just said.
"Love's not that, either. That's just like biology!"
"Just biology?" Doc says incredulously. "You are biology."
"Chemicals don't count! You can't chemically induce love!" The brown bunny declares angrily. "How come I didn't fall in love when I first saw him, huh?"
Beckett closes her eyes and holds her hands together dreamily over her heart. "Love is...love is when you know they're your special someone the first time you meet. Love at first sight is real, and it happens to people."
She reopens her eyes and looks down at the copy-paper book in her lap. "It's gonna happen to me too, I just know it! Love is a beautiful addiction that makes it impossible to be away from your human. Anthros and humans were made for each other!"
MC2 Farshaw rolls her eyes, and spits a mouthful of chewing tobacco into the trash. "Love is an addiction alright, just not a nice one, or even a fun one. It makes you act like an idiot and eats up your brainpower unless satisfied."
The calico wipes a bit of spit from her frowning face. "I only joined the army to get assigned, and I only want to be assigned so I can finally make the itch go away. I want to get back to being in control of myself, instead of losing my mind every time I smell 'boy.'"
Coleen speaks up next. "It's not that cynical though, not always. What about family?" She counters. "Love is..." the roo begins ponderously, and glances over at Beckett for reassurance.
"It's when you flunk out of FMI and you have to go home with your ears down and tail between your legs. It's when you spend the whole ride fretting mom and dad are gonna disown you, but instead they stop fighting for once and meet you together at the train station.
"Love is someone telling you things are gonna be okay. Love is when you're always thinking about the other person's feelings first."
Beckett nods approvingly at her charge, who seems to really appreciate the positive reinforcement.
Roe looks away from everyone, and sighs. "Well, shit. if we're counting that stuff, then love is when you tell everyone growing up you want a boy with Klinefelter Syndrome so you don't have to have babies."
The good doctor puts her hand on her stomach and seems to lose herself in a memory. "Next thing you know number 5 is on the way, and you're crying because he sent you a letter about number 3's first day at school."
Your mentor closes her eyes, and you swear a tear stains her fur. "Damnit Marcus..." Roe says, wiping her face. "Fine, you win. How about you, Tabitha?"
"Dunno," Bishop says plainly. "I've never been in love before, but I keep getting this feeling like I'm looking in the wrong place, if that makes any sense."
All eyes turn to you.
Everyone wants to know what the human boy thinks.
You begin to tell a story Mama must've told a hundred times growing up.
The little details change every time she tells it, but the gist of things is always the same.
"I think everyone's right, to some extent. Anthros love humans, specifically, in this deep way humans don't quite understand. That's how Mama was with Papa when they first met. Love at first sight."
"Papa showed up in town out of the dustlands one day, and wouldn't talk about where he came from. Mama started courting him, and things were good, but Mama knew the inspectors were coming and was worried she'd lose him."
"One day she proposed to him four times in a row, and he threw his hands up in frustration. "Yekaterina Koslov, I will marry you on the spot, but only if you can get hot water at the farm. I'm not marrying someone if I have to take cold showers for the rest of my life.""
"It was supposed to be a snipe hunt, but Mama took it as a challenge and actually pulled it off. She stole the water heater from the McCrays' basement that night, and they never found out who took it."
MC2 Farshaw raises a hand. "Hold on, she stole it? Isn't this supposed to be a romantic story?"
You shrug. "You'd understand if you ever met 'em. They're the biggest assholes in Linton, especially their daughters. Jazzzmine McCray followed me into the bathroom once and felt me up in high school."
Furthermore, she spells her name stupid and you hate her. Fuck the McCrays.
"The funny thing is all her work buddies chipped in with the heist; That's why I think anthros were made for humans. Everyone just sort of understood that this was the most important thing in the world."
"Papa was floored, but agreed. Mama told him something poetic about how "you'll never be cold in our home, Dick. Home is where you should always feel warmest." She respected him from the very beginning, enough to try and win his heart rather than wait and let the inspectors force him into it."
Bishop snorts. "Your dad's name is Dick?"
Your wistful smile contorts into an angry sneer, and you stare the sergeant down with a glare you learned from Lotte.
"His name was Richard."
Tabitha Bishop rubs the back of her head shamefully, and turns away. "I'm sorry, kid..."
The open wound in your heart stirs again. You miss him, man. You miss all of them.
"They got married at the courthouse the same day the inspectors came for him. Mama carried him down the steps, just to show the grays where he belonged from now on. It took him a while, but he loved her in the same way by the time I was running around."
All eyes are on you now, even some that weren't paying attention in the beginning.
"Love is when a human and an anthro find each other. Lotte loved me before we even met, because that's just how anthros are. Maybe I didn't choose this life, maybe she coerced me into marrying her, but part of happiness is knowing how to roll with the punches and learn to be happy with the things that come your way."
"We don't choose our families either, and we don't choose who we get assigned to, but we learn to love each other all the same. Lotte might be cold on the outside, but all I had to do was wait and she eventually showed me that she loved me back."
You reach into your coat and touch one of the bands you use to blouse Lotte's boots every morning.
Beckett's eyes shimmer tearfully. "That's beautiful, Pavi."
You rub the back of your head sheepishly. Might've gone overboard there in a couple places, but whatever. "I always liked bunnies growing up. Funny how things work out, I guess."
"And you never, like, got 'skin fever?'" Asks Coleen. "Bunch of the guys at school would trade nudies of human women. Not you though?"
A foundational memory from your childhood flashes before your eyes.
"Although anthros have been absent from most of human history, the desire for anthros was with humanity from the very beginning."
"Today class, we're going to be watching one of the most important examples of anthro-longing in Before-World culture, one that proves man's need for anthro predates The Fall."
Mrs. McKinney presses play on the school's ancient laptop, connected to an equally ancient projector on the ceiling.
A butt rock song sears itself into your subconscious for all time:
"EVERYBODY GET UP, IT'S TIME TO SLAM NOW! WE GOT A REAL JAM GOIN' DOWN! WELCOME TO THE SPACE JAM!"
You cough.
"Yeah, I... it started at a young age."
Doc Roe gives you a knowing smirk.
"You didn't play basketball growing up, did you sport?"
Beckett's hand touches yours. Her eyes wilt, and her expression is full of worry.
"Hey...I need to talk to you about Lotte."