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Tranquil Peak was the quintessential small New England town. It was beautiful in the autumn, peaceful and cozy in the winter, and every corner seemed to have its own quaint little cafe or specialty shop. The architecture was delightfully antique, with beautiful old houses everywhere you looked, most of which could be toured for a modest fee. And if all of that wasn’t enough, the people were always friendly and welcoming. Every square mile of the town looked like it could have come straight out of a Kinkade painting.

And that was exactly what Tranquil Peak had always banked on. The people who lived here were friendly and welcoming, but they were also very shrewd, and knew how to market themselves. The town was doing very well in the vacation business.

But people did still live and work there. Somebody had to run the quaint little cafes and specialty shops.

Of course, there was one other thing that drove people to Tranquil Peak. Something that wasn’t as widely publicized as its other tourist attractions.

Lots of places did good business by advertising themselves as The Most Haunted Place in [Insert Location Here], pulling in curious tourists, serious ghost hunters, and a staggering number of goths. But Tranquil Peak never did any such thing.

The difference between Tranquil Peak and these other places was that Tranquil Peak was, in fact, a hotbed of supernatural activity, and its residents preferred not to advertise it.

Nobody knew the reason for sure anymore. Some said the town was the site of an ancient native burial ground, but if that was the case, it would surely not be unique in that regard, all things considered. Others said that the land was blighted by an ancient witch’s curse as revenge for some slight or another.

Whatever the reason, if you lived in Tranquil Peak, the occasional spectral incursion was just a fact of life. Everybody knew it, nobody talked about it with outsiders. It wasn’t something that you needed to deal with every day, or even every month. But it did happen, and it did need to be dealt with.

And that, of course, raised the eternal question:

Who you gonna call?

In Tranquil Peak, the answer to that since time immemorial has been the King family.

~*~

Beryl’s Boutique was a little new age gift shop like any other, selling charms and crystals and other such gewgaws, with an amiable and slightly flaky woman manning the register. In short, it was indistinguishable from any other shop of its type.

If you were a tourist.

If you knew what you were looking at, then you would see a little bit more.

The owner of this shop was Beryl King. She was a raccoon woman in her mid thirties, with tired eyes and a plump build, and she was the latest in a long line of mediums and exorcists. If you were in the know, then you would find something a little bit more genuine for sale behind the dream catchers, incense burners, and tarot decks. If Beryl trusted you, she would sell you amulets and talismans that would provide genuine protection from the supernatural.

That was Beryl’s job in this town. When a child was seeing strange shapes in the darkness, they called Beryl. When a local was troubled by the restless dead, they called Beryl. When the city planning department wanted to break ground on a site and had to make sure that they wouldn’t be disturbing anything otherworldly, you can bet your tail that they called Beryl.

It was a good gig. She enjoyed the work and was well compensated for her time.

It was the middle of summer, the slowest time of the year for Tranquil Peak, which meant that the locals had their town to themselves for a change. It was now almost closing time, and she’d barely had any customers all day. For once, Beryl appreciated it, especially on a day like this one, when she had woken up with a killer headache.

The door to the shop jingled, and Beryl sighed. She had jinxed it. Then she spun around and immediately switched on.

“Welcome, traveler, to Beryl’s Boutique!” she said, in what she thought of as her ‘woo woo voice’. “How might I help you on this fine day?”

The person who’d come in the door wasn’t someone that Beryl recognized, which meant that they were an out of towner. Unusual this time of year, but not unheard of. It was a possum girl, no older than nineteen or twenty, wearing a cut-off jacket festooned with a wide variety of colorful pins and a pair of seriously distressed jeans. She didn’t look like Beryl’s usual clientele.

“I was uh… actually looking for someone,” she said, looking around the shop. “But I’m not sure this is the right place.” She flicked a wind chime with a slightly derisive look in her eyes. “I’m, uh, looking for the titular Beryl?”

Beryl went silent for a moment. “And what, if I may ask, is your business with Beryl?”

“God, I don’t even know what I’m doing here,” the girl murmured. “I don’t need a healing crystal or a yoni egg, I need… fuck, I dunno what I need.”

Beryl held her broom in the girl’s path as she turned to leave. “You clearly came in here with something on your mind,” she said, easing off on the voice. “Why don’t you tell me what it is?”

She gave a long-suffering sigh. “Not like you’d believe me if I told you that I see dead people. Have a nice–”

Now Beryl stepped in front of the door. “Let’s run that back a little bit,” she said. “So you’re telling me that you can see ghosts?”

The possum’s features immediately softened. “You’re Beryl, then?” she said. “Um, my name’s Tanya. I went to uni with your brother.”

That certainly got her attention. “You know Jasper? How’s he doing? And why the hell didn’t he call me to say you were coming?”

“‘Cause I didn’t tell him,” said Tanya defensively. “He’s not my dad.”

“So what’s your story?” said Beryl, flipping the sign on the door around to CLOSED and drawing the curtains.

“Well, me and Jasper were getting high together…”

She paused for a moment to gauge Beryl’s reaction.

“Kid, I’m a medium, not a cop. Keep going.”

“Well. I told him that I saw ghosts, and he was like ‘dude, me too’ and we had a good laugh about it. Then we sobered up and he asked if I was serious. He told me that if I ever wanted to learn more, I should look you up. And for the most part I forgot about it, but uh. Then something kinda weird happened. I… think I might be haunted?”

“Lots of people think they’re haunted,” said Beryl, leaning against a wall and folding her arms. “Usually it’s stress. Or psychedelics. What makes you so sure? Short version, please. Again, not a cop, don’t care what nonsense you got yourself up to.”

Tanya rubbed her temple and sighed. “Fine. I’m into urbex. That means–”

“Urban exploration, I know. I’m not that old.”

“Right, right. Well, I like to get myself into odd little corners of places to collect things. Nothing illegal, just little bits and bobs. Things to remind me that I was there, y’know?”

She gestured at her jacket, and Beryl took a closer look. In addition to an assortment of pride pins, she wore several that looked handmade. There was a piece of an old pamphlet, a brass button, a door key, and other such things, all encased in clear resin.

Beryl nodded. “Neat. Not really relevant, but neat. Please get to your point.”

“Right, sorry. Long story short, about two weeks ago, I was poking around an old building and found bones. Really old ones. And by found I mean I fell through the floor and landed on them. I didn’t see any ghosts at the time, but ever since then, I’ve been having really vivid dreams. And they’re not like my usual sorts of dreams, either. It’s like… flashes of someone else’s life. I think I’m a construction worker. Like, an old timey one. And I keep dreaming that I’m getting trapped in dark places–”

“Hold up, please,” said Tanya, as she started digging through a shelf, pushing aside a rack of whalesong CDs and pulling out a little pouch, no bigger than an acorn, on a leather strap. “Hang this around your neck.”

Tanya looked the little charm over. “Seriously? You’re just–”

“Bear with me a moment, would you? Either put it on or get out.”

“Alright, alright. But I don’t know–”

Then Tanya put the talisman on and immediately started wheezing, as if she wanted to scream but no sound was coming out. The air grew cold and the lights started to flicker. And then, emerging from the possum’s wide open mouth, a cloud of mist began to emerge. As it rose into the air, it began to coalesce, until it formed the shape of a person.

He was a young-looking puma, dressed in canvas overalls and wearing a hard hat and a tool belt. He was also translucent and monochrome, rendered in pale blues and grays.

“...left me down there!” he said, his voice echoing strangely. “Broke my damn neck and they just left my body down there! Could’ve at least said some words! They left me–”

The ghost continued to flit around the room and babble, and Tanya watched it, bug-eyed.

“Holy shit, I had a ghost in me.”

“Yeah, that’ll happen sometimes,” said Beryl. She pulled the cord off of Tanya and showed it to her. It was now blackened and burnt. “I can take care of it for you, no problem.”

Tanya swiveled to regard Beryl, suddenly awestruck. “Are you going to help him resolve his unfinished business and lay him to rest?”

Beryl chuckled. “Nah.” When she saw the incredulous look Tanya was giving her, she pressed on. “Look, do you know how hard it is to resolve unfinished business? It can take weeks! I have to do research! And sometimes people’s unfinished business just sucks! Oh, woe is me, the girl I was stalking never returned my affections.” She scoffed and started to pull off her hoodie, revealing the loose-fitting tank top she wore beneath.

“The Kings do things a little bit differently. Our way’s quicker, more efficient, and everyone’s just as happy in the end.”

Beryl cleared her throat loudly, getting the ghost’s attention as his hazy eyes focused on her.

“It’s alright,” she said, holding out her hand. “You had a rough go of it, I know. I can’t change what happened, but I can give you a second chance. How’s that sound?”

The ghost stared at her, and she wasn’t sure he understood what she was saying. You never could tell with ghosts. Just as well. Their cooperation was nice, but not necessary.

Then Beryl closed her eyes and spoke the words she’d known all her life.

The ghost seized up all of a sudden, and then a blissful look crossed his features as the spectral form dissolved into mist once again. Beryl lifted up her shirt, revealing the unusual and very distinct pattern of fur on her belly, the shape of a dark spiral standing out against her light gray fur. As if she’d just switched on a vacuum cleaner, the mist began to flow into her, disappearing into her belly. And Beryl shivered and gasped as a ghostly glow surrounded her for a few seconds before fading away.

“Whew,” she said, wiping her brow. “That takes care of that.”

She looked back at Tanya, who was staring goggle-eyed at her.

“What the cinnamon toast fuck was that?”

Beryl grinned. “Oh, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Watch this. Any minute now…”

Then she felt the all too familiar cramp as, in a flash of otherworldly light, her midsection rapidly expanded outward, her soft and subtle pudge immediately transforming into a round, taut dome.

“Ahh, there we go,” she said, giving her belly a pat. “Done and ready to be delivered.”

Seeing the horrified look Tanya now wore, Beryl decided that some further explanation was needed.

“That’s the gift of the King family. In an hour or two, a perfectly healthy baby is going to pop out of me. I'll drop it off at our local adoption agency – very reputable, my family’s worked with them for generations – and presto. You’re no longer being haunted, and this little scamp is going to get a second chance at life. What he does with it is up to him, of course.”

“Seriously?” stammered Tanya, gesticulating wildly. “You’re telling me you can get… ghost pregnant?!”

Beryl nodded. “Yep. All the women of the family can.” Then she scratched her head and added, “And maybe Jasper too? I don’t think he’s tried it since he transitioned, but I’ve always wondered.”

When she looked back at Tanya, she was still staring at her. Beryl heaved a heavy sigh.

“Yes, you can touch it.”

The possum’s hand lashed out and rested on Beryl’s swollen bump. softly rubbing.

“Shit, that sure feels real to me,” said Tanya. “So I’m not crazy and this isn’t an elaborate prank, then. Cool. Awesome. So you just… do this? For a living?”

“Technically I run this shop for a living, but the town council does give me a small stipend,” said Beryl, leaning back against her desk for support. “Go into that minifridge and get me a drink, would you? The ones in the back. Getting ghosted always knocks the wind out of me.”

Tanya pushed aside the herbal drinks and health tonics and pulled out two glass bottles of Diet Coke, opening the caps with her belt buckle.

“And you’re actually going to like, give birth? Like, hee hee hoo hoo push, the whole nine yards?”

“That’s where babies come from, yes.”

“Doesn’t that… hurt?”

Beryl shrugged and took a deep pull. “It stings a little, yeah. But do anything often enough and you’ll get used to it.”

Tanya looked like she was about to collapse. Beryl decided to let her work through it. It wasn’t every day that you got your worldview upended, after all.

“When Jasper told me that his family was weird, I thought he meant like, regular weird.”

Beryl chuckled and patted Tanya on the shoulder. “Weird’s just a different kind of normal. My mom and my aunt used to do this and my grandma did it before us. Dunno what it is that makes ghosts end up here so much but they’ve always been here and so have we. Dealing with ghosts is the family business.”

Pulling the fur on her head aside, she gestured to a little scar on the side of her forehead.

“You see that there? That’s from the time a poltergeist threw a table at my head.”

“Fuckin’ wild.” Tanya quickly drained her old bottle and let out a bitter laugh. “You’re telling me this shit happens to you all the time?”

“I mean, not all the time,” said Beryl, making a so-so gesture. “Once every few weeks, maybe. Sometimes I’ll go a month or two without hearing any–”

Then her phone began to loudly ring, cutting her off. Beryl’s head whipped around to where it was sitting on the counter, giving it a dirty look. Tanya raised an eyebrow.

“Is that the X-Files theme? Sorry, how old did you say you were?”

Beryl shushed her and picked up the phone. That particular ring was associated with a very select group of people, and if she was hearing it, that meant it was a call she needed to take. She picked up and answered, recognizing the number immediately.

“What’s up, Charity?”

“Oh, thank God you’re around,” said Charity, immediately sounding relieved. “I think we have a… situation in the museum. Can you come check it out? I know it’s not quite closing time, but if you could come as soon as possible–”

“It’s cool, the store’s pretty dead,” said Beryl. Looking at Tanya, she added, “Do you mind if I bring someone with me? She’s cool, I promise.”

“What? Oh, um, I don’t see why not.”

“Great! I’ll be there in like fifteen.”

Then she hung up. “Do you have a car?”

“What?” stammered Tanya, not expecting the question. “I mean, yeah, I have a rental. It’s not like there’s an airport in town.”

“How big is it?”

“Why do you–”

Beryl gestured at her belly, and comprehension spread over the possum’s face.

“Oh, right. Uh, it’s a four-door sedan? And I think the seat goes back pretty far.”

“Perfect! You drive. I usually bike to work and this’ll be a lot faster. We’re going to the Tranquil Peak Art Museum. I’ll give you directions, it’ll be easy.”

~*~

Of course, easy was a relative term. Tranquil Peak was one of those old towns where they paved over the old horse tracks in order to make roads. Its layout was not exactly intuitive and city planners were known to occasionally go mad. But the locals always insisted that it wasn’t so bad when you got used to it.

So it perhaps wasn’t surprising that Tanya took a couple of wrong turns on the way there, even with Beryl navigating. But they did eventually make it to the museum, and more or less on time.

“Are you sure you should be doing anything in your current condition?” said Tanya, as she pulled into the parking lot. “‘Cause like, maybe I heard wrong but you said it only took a couple hours?”

“Which means we’ve got plenty of time,” said Beryl, giving her a dismissive wave. “It’ll be fine. Now c’mon, let’s hustle.”

The art museum was, like most institutions in Tranquil Peak, very big and very old, with a faux-roman edifice featuring ionic columns. Standing out front was an older sheep woman wearing a fluffy cardigan, who started waving Beryl down as soon as she stepped out of the car.

“Oh, Beryl!” she said, pulling her into a brief hug. “I’m so glad you came. And you made such good time, too!”

Charity had been the museum’s chief curator for as long as anybody could remember, and had a well-deserved reputation as being everybody’s kindly grandma. She always had a kind word and a cup of tea available for those who needed it, and also very strong opinions about post-expressionism.

“It’s no trouble, really,” said Beryl, as they broke apart.

“Well, I still appreciate it,” said Charity, adjusting her glasses. “Your family’s always been there for me when I’ve needed you. I can’t tell you how many times your mother’s gotten me out of a tight spot. Oh, just can’t get over how much you look like Pearl! Why, it feels like just yesterday–”

“Let’s save the reminiscence for later, hmm?” said Beryl, who knew damn well that Charity could keep going for hours if she built up ahead of steam. And unlike most of the time, she was on a clock here.

Charity cleared her throat. “Of course of course.” Noticing Tanya for the first time, she added, “And who is this lovely young… lady? Sorry, is that correct?”

“Yes, thank you,” said Tanya. “And I’m, uh…”

“She’s my new intern,” interjected Beryl. “She’s here to observe. Don’t worry about her. So what exactly happened?”

Charity sighed. “Well, as you know, we had to close the East Wing for renovation recently. It’s due to open next week, but I wanted to take a stroll through it to decide where to set up our new exhibit on the history of dadaism. So I was just doing that, minding my own business, when suddenly the whole wing felt like a meat locker! Cold as a well-digger’s bottom! Which was strange, because we just had our HVAC guy check things out yesterday.”

Beryl smirked. “And naturally, you decided to investigate further.”

Charity returned her smile and nodded. “Naturally. I remembered what your mother always told me to check, and sure enough, the lights were flickering and my phone wouldn’t connect to the wifi.”

“And that made you think it was a ghost?” asked Tanya, peering around Beryl.

“I suspected that it might be something strange. But I called Beryl after the custodian’s cart flipped over and I almost took a mop to the face.”

“The signs of a haunting are not always subtle,” said Beryl, patting Tanya on the arm. “I’ll take a look, don’t worry. And if we’ve got some confirmed spooky, then you can count on me to take care of it.”

“I know I can, dear,” said Charity, beaming at her. “I’ll be right here.”

“Come along, intern,” said Beryl. “And leave your phone in the car, it won’t work.”

As they approached the door, Tanya hesitated. “That’s it?” she said. “We don’t need to get any specialized equipment or anything? All you’ve got is a flashlight!”

“I don’t even need the flashlight, really,” said Beryl, offering it to Tanya. “But I figured you’d find it reassuring.”

Tanya grumbled, but took the flash light.

“Relax. I wouldn’t even dream of taking you along if this was dangerous. Worst case scenario in a situation like this is some bruises.”

Tanya still didn’t move. “Are you even going to be able to handle it? I mean, you’re already…”

Beryl rolled her eyes and gave her belly a slap. “Yeah, of course. I can fit plenty of buns in this oven. It’s not unheard of for ghosts to appear in groups. Grandma Ruby used to brag to us about the time she did five at once.” She paused to give a wistful sigh. “She’s in a better place now, of course.”

Tanya suddenly looked solemn. “Oh, I’m sorry to–”

“Boca Raton. I hear it’s lovely this time of year.”

She chuckled to herself as she made her way into the Museum, and Tanya followed her, grumbling all the while.

It didn’t take them long to find their way to the East Wing, and as soon as they made it, Tanya started to shiver.

“Fuck, she wasn’t kidding,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself.

“This is why I wear hoodies everywhere,” said Beryl, as she started to look around.

“So that woman… could she see them too?” asked Tanya, looking back.

Beryl shook her head. “Very few people can see ghosts. But particularly restless ones have an effect that anyone can feel. Being in a very haunted place makes you feel ill at ease. Anxious for no reason. And when they’re feeling really antsy, that’s when they start to have much more physical effects. That’s when people call me. And on that note, hush up, I need to concentrate.”

Tanya did as she was told, and Beryl began to focus, and the world grew soft around the edges.

Her grandmother called it ESP. Her mother liked to say that she was opening her third eye. Beryl had never been all that creative, and called it her ‘spookyvision’ when she needed to call it anything. Whatever you called it, when she concentrated, she could get a sense of where ghosts had been. They left a residue that most people couldn’t see. To Beryl, it looked like silvery particles hanging in the air, or an eerie sheen on a surface. Usually it was fairly subtle, and she needed to look very carefully to make sure she hadn’t missed anything.

She did not need to be careful today. The East Wing was positively teeming with ectoplasm. It hung in the air so densely that it was like a fog had rolled in. It was a good thing thats he couldn’t smell it as well, because she would have been choking. In all of her years of dealing with ghosts, she had never seen anything like it before.

“Beryl? Are you okay?”

Beryl quickly shook herself off. “I’m fine. It’s nothing we need to worry about. This way.”

She pointed off in the direction where the fog was thickest and kept on moving.

“So do we need to do anything to draw them out?” whispered Tanya. “Are you going to perform a ritual, or give them some sort of offering?”

A crash rang out from the other room, causing them both to flinch.

“I don’t think they’re going to need drawing out,” said Beryl, as she hurried into the next room. And sure enough, when she got there, she saw them.

There were two of them, a man and a woman, and they were both monkeys. Like the construction worker, they were both luminous and translucent. They were dressed like acrobats, clad in sparkly leotards trailing streams of ribbon behind them, and they shouted and cheered as they bounced around the room. They were also babbling rapidly to themselves, and only when she got closer did Beryl realize what it was they were saying.

“–must go on, the show must go on, the show must go on, the show must go on!”

As they darted around this way and that, phasing through walls and furniture, every so often there would be a bright flash and an object would be knocked over.

“Should they be able to do that?” said Tanya, covering her head.

“Usually only when they’re really agitated,” replied Beryl. “I don’t know what’s got them so worked up.”

Suddenly, the two of them froze in midair, their empty eyes focusing right on Beryl.

“Are you here for the show?” yelped the man, as he did a backflip.

“Of course she is!” shouted the woman, who was starting to twirl around. “Who wouldn’t want a front row ticket to see The Amazing Flying Zopettis! Isn’t that right, Fernando?”

“It sure is, Santina! And you’ve picked just the right time! The circus just came into town and it’s gonna be a great show!”

They started to dart around once again, clasping hands and spinning each-other around.

“What are they–” said Tanya, but Beryl quickly waved her off.

“Don’t think too hard about anything a ghost says. They tend to have one-track minds.”

Then she cleared her throat and stepped forward. “Why yes, as a matter of fact! I am here for the show! In fact, I’m a VIP! I’m, er… the Princess of Belgium!”

The Flying Zopettis froze in place, now wearing awed looks.

“Well then, your highness,” said Fernando, “we’ll have to give you one heck of a show! Won’t we, sister dear?”

“We sure will, brother mine!” chimed in Santina. “More thrills! More chills! More danger than ever before! Nets? Harnesses? Those are for chumps and yellowbellies! We’ll give you the performance of the lifetime!”

“Seems like they already did,” muttered Tanya. Beryl elbowed her in the ribs.

“That sounds excellent,” said Beryl, speaking up once again. “But before you do, would you mind coming closer? I’ve got an even better gig lined up for you, one that blows this rinky-dink dog and pony show right out of the water!”

That got their attention, and both of them came in closer, floating mere inches away from Beryl.

“Now you’re speaking our language!” said Santina. “Sign us up!”

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand!” said Fernado. “We’re ready for the big time!”

And once she was sure she had their complete attention, Beryl held out her hands and spoke the word of power. Both of them started to laugh as they turned into cloudy wisps and flew into Beryl’s body, one after the other. As soon as they did, Beryl staggered back and gasped.

She quickly lifted up her hoodie as the spirits got themselves comfortable within her, and right before her eyes, her belly ballooned outward. What had been an average-sized bump quickly swelled into an enormous dome, taut and heavy-looking.

Beryl let out a heavy sigh and gave herself a pat. “Can’t remember the last time I took more than one of them at a time, let alone three.” Then she gave the room a quick scan and saw that the ectoplasm was starting to dissipate. Good.

“You certainly look like you’re carrying three of something,” said Tanya. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Little winded, but I’ll cope,” said Beryl. “Honestly, if you could just take me home so I can put my feet up until these little buggers pop out, that would be–”

From Beryl’s pocket, a familiar theme song rang out.

“I thought you said to leave our phones,” said Tanya, folding her arms.

“I said to leave your phone. Mine’s been ghost-proofed, obviously.”

Before any follow-up questions could get out, Beryl answered the call. This one was from a number she didn’t recognize right away.

“Is this Beryl?” came the voice from the other end. “It’s Joshua. From the hospital? We spoke a couple months ago after the incident in the trauma ward?”

It came back to her quickly. Joshua was a nurse and they’d crossed paths while she was dealing with a haunting at the hospital. Hospitals were popular hangout spots for the living impaired, and so Beryl had given him her number.

Then she realized what he was probably calling for, and she felt a shiver that had nothing to do with ghosts.

“I don’t suppose this is a personal call?”

“I think we’ve got something going on. I was just down in the basement to go and get some files and the basement was starting to flood. I thought it was a leaky pipe at first, but then…”

Beryl didn’t pick up much after that. This was very, very strange. Beryl had never had to deal with two separate hauntings in one night. Tanya’s unwanted passenger hadn’t really counted, since she’d brought him into town with her. After that, Beryl would have been happy to chalk Charity’s call up to coincidence. Stranger things had happened, after all. But this? This was hinky.

“I’ll be right there,” she said, cutting Joshua off and hanging up.

Tanya looked down at the phone. She was looking increasingly anxious. “What do you suppose the odds are that it actually was a leaky pipe?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time someone in this town called an exorcist when they needed a plumber,” said Beryl. “But I have a bad feeling about this one. You cool to keep being my ride?”

“I suppose it would be kind of a dick move to say no at this point.”

~*~

The hospital took a little bit longer to get to than the museum, especially since Beryl didn’t know the way as well as she would have liked. It didn’t help that her guts were feeling cramped and she was giving directions while trying to soothe herself with belly rubs. But once they arrived, the events of the museum played in almost perfect repeat. Beryl exchanged some words with Joshua, made her way down to the basement, and arrived to find that it had two inches of water on the ground and was full of more ectoplasm than was healthy. And once she cut through it, she’d found an old feline woman in a hospital gown, crouching behind the boilers and sobbing incoherently.

It didn’t take much to resolve it, fortunately. It never did with the ghosts of older folks, and once the woman realized what Beryl was offering her, she started to calm down.

“You really mean it?” she said, dabbing at her watery eyes with a spectral handkerchief. “I get another try?”

“Absolutely,” said Beryl, lifting up her shirt. “You’ll be good as new. Literally.”

She beamed brightly and gave Beryl an incorporeal hug. “Bless you, dearie. And if you don’t mind my saying so, congratulations.”

Beryl didn’t dignify that one with a response. A moment later, the woman was gone and the medium’s waistline had gained a couple more inches, to the point where her hoodie could no longer completely cover her, and Beryl was panting like she’d just run a mile.

“That should be that. I really don’t know what’s got them so riled up tonight.”

“Is it a blood moon or something?” asked Tanya.

“Don’t be silly,” said Beryl. “Ghosts don’t care about the moon. Well, in any case, I should really get home before–”

And then Beryl’s phone rang again. She pulled it out of her pocket, hit the answer button, and snarled “What?”

“Uh… Miss Beryl?” said a child’s voice.

She forced herself to calm down when she realized who it was. “Yeah, it’s me, Deedee. What’s happening?”

“You said to call you back if something scary happened,” said Deedee. “And, um…”

“It’s okay, I’m not upset. Just tell me what happened. Have you been having nightmares again?”

“Not since I put that charm you gave me under my pillow! But I was about to go to bed when I saw some funny lights from across the street like our neighbors were having a party, but then I remembered that our neighbors are on vacation and they're not supposed to be back until next week and when I got up to take a peek it looked like someone was tearing up their yard so can you pretty please come take a look?”

As Deedee stopped to take a breath, Beryl looked down at her gravid stomach. Then she sighed. “I’ll be right there, Deedee. Just stay where you are.”

As soon as she hung up the phone, she leaned against the wall and cursed under her breath.

“So is this, like… a typical day of work for you?” asked Tanya.

“It very much is not!” snapped Beryl. “This is weird even by my standards! What the hell has… gotten into… my town…”

Then she winced and let out a long groan, clutching her belly.

“I’m no doctor, but it looks like you really need to drop the kids off,” said Tanya, who was looking increasingly tense. “Maybe you should hold off on this next call. How much damage can ghosts do, really?”

Beryl shot her a hard look. “If they’re at the point where they’re causing manifestations that normal people can see? A lot of trouble. I don’t have the time to give you Ghost 101 tonight, but if these ghosts don’t move on sooner rather than later, we’re going to have a bunch of poltergeists running wild on the town. The people of Tranquil Peak don’t ask me for much, but they do rely on me to specifically make sure that things like that do not happen! Now get your shoes and let’s go!”

“Please try not to give birth in my rental car.”

“No promises!”

~*~

Their next destination was a little residential neighborhood, and Beryl spent the whole ride with her legs crossed. A spirit that she absorbed was typically reborn in about an hour, maybe two if it was feeling stubborn. By her count, they were rubbing up against the end of the two hour mark.

“Can’t this thing go any faster?” she hissed through gritted teeth. “You drive like an old lady!”

Tanya just grumbled and kept focusing on the road. Beryl sighed and hoped it wouldn’t take them much longer to find the right address.

But it quickly turned out that they didn’t need to worry. Squinting into the distance, Beryl saw exactly what she was looking for.

“Over there. That one.”

The house that she was pointing to was positively glowing with ectoplasm. It was like the vacationers had left their fog machine running.

“Are you sure?” said Tanya, looking out the window. “How do you know that this is… the right… holy fuck.”

When they got close enough for a better look, Beryl could see what Tanya had been seeing. Running around and through the house were multiple ghosts, all young men wearing high-collared shirts and enormous sunglasses. Periodically one of them would scream “Wooo!” and an object would fly across the yard.

“Hey, Beryl?”

“Mmm?”

“Have I completely lost my mind or am I seeing a bunch of ghost frat boys throwing a rager?”

“I have no idea what a rager is so I’m just going to say yes.”

They pulled up to the curb and Beryl immediately pulled herself out, wadling up to the house as fast as she could. Putting her fingers to her lips, she let out a shrill whistle.

“Break it up, boys! Party’s over!”

Immediately, the spectral frat boys began to boo and hiss, and Beryl was suddenly being pelted with incorporeal ping pong balls and red cups.

“Fuck you, narc!” said the one in front, a leopard man with a sideways cap and two popped collars. “We’re throwing the biggest, baddest party ever and ain’t nobody harsh our vibe! We’re all gonna rock out with our whoa!”

“Wasn’t asking!” snapped Beryl, as she intoned the word of power, and one after another, the boys were absorbed into her, each one growing her belly more and more. By the time they had all been gathered, she was leaning against the hood of the car and struggling to breathe.

“Christ on a cracker,” said Tanya, as she poked her head out the window. “Can you even walk?”

“I’ll be fine,” Beryl grumbled. “Just need… to get home… before I–”

Then she groaned out loud as her enormous belly gave a great lurch, her abdominal muscles clenching hard.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine!” Beryl repeated, harder this time. “It’s just some cramps. Everything’s gonna be just peachy keen and… and I’ll… oh no…”

Beryl suddenly felt weak in the knees and she would have topped over if Tanya hadn’t leapt out of the car to steady her. All of the restless spirits she had taken in were no less restless because she was hanging onto them, and they only grew increasingly so as the night went on. It seemed like they were becoming increasingly aware of how crowded it was, and they were making their displeasure known the only way they knew how.

Slowly, Beryl reached between her legs, dreading what she was going to find there. When she felt a wet spot around her groin, she felt her blood run cold.

“Son of a biscuit.”

Tanya looked like she was about to faint. “Oh god oh fuck,” she muttered. “What am I doing here? I just wanted to stop having weird dreams!”

“Keep it together, girl,” said Beryl. “I’m the one who’s about to have a litter. If anyone should be freaking out here, it’s me. Now get back in the car and get me home so I can get these things out of me in…”

Then Beryl felt her phone vibrate, and her heart began to sink.

“Would you get that for me? I can’t reach my pockets.”

Tanya did just that and looked down on it. “It says you have three missed calls,” she read. “And they’re all tagged urgent.”

Beryl briefly considered throwing it into a ditch. But that wouldn’t have made the problems go away, unfortunately. “What the hell is happening tonight?” she yelled, not caring who she woke up. “Why has every ghost in a ten mile radius suddenly decided… to…”

Then she looked over at Tanya. She had been pushing her senses so hard that the things she saw continued to linger, even when she stopped concentrating. But something stood out to her, and so she focused.

And she realized that she had never looked directly at Tanya with her spookyvision. Because if she had, she for sure would have noticed the miasma of ectoplasm that was hanging around her, like a personal storm cloud.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” said Tanya. “Is there something on my face?”

“Hush for a second,” said Beryl, as she started to think. “You said you liked to collect treasures when you explored. Did you take anything from the building where you found the construction worker?”

Tanya blinked a few times. “Uh, yeah? I mean, the day was memorable, right, so I felt like it would be a shame not to–”

“Was it near the bones?”

Tanya suddenly looked sheepish. Beryl put her hands on the possum’s shoulders and looked her square in the eyes.

“Tanya. I am an incredibly chill person. I have a laid back attitude and a casual disregard for the rules of society. But right now I am cranky, tired, and in labor with several ghost babies and the night is not over yet! What did you take?”

Tanya blanched and took a pin off of her jacket, presenting it to Beryl. It was an old brass button encased in resin.

“I took this off of what was left of his overalls.”

Beryl snatched the pin from Tanya and looked at it closely. It felt cold as ice in her grasp.

“Tanya… I’m not upset at you. You had know way of knowing this would happen. But for future reference, taking an item that’s been marinating in restless spirit for the better part of a century and bringing it to a place as supernaturally active as Tranquil Peak is what we call in the business a bad idea.”

Tanya swallowed heavily. “I fucked up.”

“You really did. But the good news is, I know what the problem is now and I can fix it.”

“Do you need to perform a purification ritual?”

“We could call it that, yes. Do you know how to pick a lock?”

Three minutes later, the pin was set down on the road and Tanya was holding a ten pound sledge hammer that they had just borrowed from a tool shed. With a thumbs up from Beryl, who was crouching behind the car, she brought it down as hard as she could. There was a clap of thunder and Beryl felt a hot flash wash over her. When she looked back, she could see ectoplasm starting to dissipate.

“That’s it, then?” said Tanya. “Just like that? It’s over? …Beryl?”

Beryl wasn’t getting much of what Tanya was saying. She was braced against the car, teeth clenched and brow damp, as she tried to beat back the pressure building inside of her. She felt like a bottle of champagne about to pop its cork, and the bubbles were going crazy. In any other circumstances, she’d have long since pushed the brat out and gotten on the phone with her contact at the adoption agency. She’d never been this full or held it off for this long before, and she might have been able to keep it together in one of these scenarios. But both at the same time was more than she could take, and she could feel her body trying to take matters into its own hands.

“Nnngh… son of a heck!” she yelped, her crouch inadvertently deepening.

“What’s happening?” said Tanya, kneeling down next to her.

“I can… feel it… trying to come out!” she hissed. “Need to… keep ‘em… in!”

Hissing through her teeth, she hiked up her pants as far as they could go and pulled Tanya’s face closer to her. “Give me your belt.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Did I stutter? Your belt! Now!”

Before she was even finished asking, Tanya was whipping her belt off and handing it over. Using the car to brace herself, she pulled herself back up to her feet.

“Help me with this,” she grunted, as she tried to wrap the belt around her hips. “Tighten it as much as you can.”

Maneuvering around her belly was tricky, but they managed to get the belt mostly on her and cinch it as tightly as it could go. Her pants were uncomfortably tight, but that felt like a good thing at the moment. She needed to keep it together, no matter what. She held on until she felt the contraction subside, and when it finally did, she let out a long sigh.

“I think I’m good for now,” she said, wiping her brow with her arm.

“Are you sure?” said Tanya. “You look a little bit like you need to puke.”

“I’m gonna have to be,” she grumbled. “Now come on, back to our chariot. Pardon me if I get in the back this time.”

When Tanya didn’t move, Beryl spun around to give her an inquisitive look.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” stammered Tanya. “You’re really going to drive around town and pick up more ghosts? You can’t put ‘em on hold for an hour or so? Is there someone you can call to keep ‘em on ice for a bit?”

Tanya sighed. “I really can’t, kid. You really don’t want to know what happens when an agitated ghost is left to their own devices. And there’s nobody else. The rest of my family’s elsewhere in the world, doing their own thing. More power to them, if you ask me. But that means it’s on my shoulders. Or rather…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” huffed Tanya. “Still kinda sucks.”

“In their defense, it’s not usually this busy,” said Beryl, giving her a smirk. “Now shut up and drive before I start having contractions again.”

~*~

Tanya got a tour of quite a bit of Tranquil Peak that evening, and it was a shame that she barely got to enjoy it. Beryl didn’t even bother speaking to the rest of their encounters. She got their attention, said the words, and off they went. And each time, she got a little bit heavier, a little bit wider, and had a little bit more trouble fitting back in the car. After the third one, Tanya had needed to push the seat back quite a bit.

“Do you think that was it?” said Tanya, looking down at Beryl’s phone. “You haven’t gotten any new calls in the past hour, so maybe it’s–”

“Pull over!”

Tanya flinched at Beryl’s yell and nearly veered right off the road. But once she regained her senses, she did as instructed. Their last call had taken them off the beaten path to a farmhouse on the outskirts of town, and this meant that there was no shortage of space on the side of the road.

“What’s happening?” said Tanya. “Did you see another ghost?”

Beryl took in several short, huffing breaths. “I need you to take my pants off.”

Tanya looked like Beryl was about to meet her ghost. “Fuck! Can’t you hold it a little bit longer? We’re almost back in town–”

Beryl screamed, unable to resist the building urges anymore. She could feel her muscles contracting, feel something heavy start to make its way through her body, and now she could feel it struggling to get out. It was hard to say for sure, with her enormously gravid gut in the way, but she was pretty sure that she could feel her sodden underwear starting to give way.

Tanya quickly scrambled out of the car and around to the other side, pulling open the passenger door. She quickly knelt down and got to work, quickly undoing the belt and yanking the pants away. And as soon as it was clear–

“Oh fucking hell, something’s coming out of you!” she cried, flinching back. “It’s bulging out of your panties? What the fuck do I do?”

“Get them out of the way!”

Beryl watched as Tanya pulled a pocket knife out of her vest and flicked it open, and a moment later her panties were cut away. As soon as they were removed, the possum’s eyes bugged out.

“Holy shit,” said Tanya, suddenly breathless. “This is really happening. You’re really giving birth.”

“Tanya! Focus! I can’t stop! I need to… nngh… puuuuuUSH!”

In truth, she barely needed to do anything at all. Her body was overtaxed and overstuffed, and it was happening whether she helped it along or not. It seldom hurt much, since her body was so well-practiced at it, but this time she was really feeling it, and as she felt her nethers stretch open, she was thankful that there was nobody to hear for a mile in every direction as she shouted out her discomfort.

“It’s coming out!” said Tanya, her voice tinged with a mixture of frenzied panic and morbid fascination. “I can see the head! God, it’s so big! How are you even–”

“Either shut up or catch!”

Gripping the car so hard that her knuckles went white, Beryl screwed up her face and bore down, her nethers burning and stretching as the baby’s head and shoulders began to make their way out of her…

And then it was over. She sank to the ground, gasping and panting in sweet relief.

“How you… doing… down there?” she asked, trying to peer over her belly.

She saw Tanya there, kneeling on the ground with a flabbergasted look on her face and a squirming baby puma in her hands.

“Christ on a cracker,” she intoned. “This is… a baby. A real actual baby. A literal actual real life–”

“Freak out about it later,” hissed Beryl, as her belly started to quiver once again. “‘Cause the floodgates are open and the rest of the litter isn’t gonna wait much longer!”

And as the urge to push began to once again grow too strong to ignore, the next hour or so became something of a blur.

~*~

Beryl had to admit that the look on Mrs. Goldwyn’s face when she dropped off fourteen babies had been very nearly worth all of the trouble. Once it was done, she and Tanya found themselves at Beryl’s house, seated in her living room. Tanya was hanging onto an easy chair as if she were afraid she might fall off of it and Beryl had her pants off and an ice pack pressed to her groin.

“I’m sorry about the whole, y’know, attracting a shitload of ghosts to your town thing.”

Beryl made a dismissive gesture. “No hard feelings. You had no way of knowing it would happen and it all turned out.”

“Thanks. I still feel bad, but thanks.”

The two of them sat in silence for some time. Then Beryl cleared her throat.

“You have somewhere to stay in town?”

Tanya shook her head. “I went straight to your shop. I was gonna grab a motel room or something.”

“Don’t worry about it. Use the guest room here.”

Tanya looked like she wanted to ask if Beryl was sure. But they were both tired, so she just nodded.

“And in the morning, maybe I can answer some questions about ghost stuff,” Beryl added. “See if we can’t stop something like this from happening again, y’know?”

Tanya gave her a smile. “I think I’d like that.” Then she waved Beryl off and made her way to the bedroom.

And Beryl let herself sink into her sofa. Her bed may as well have been a million miles away, so she was content at the moment.

She had to admit, it was kind of fun to consider the possibility of someone else to talk about this sort of thing with. Someone outside of the family, even. That raised all sorts of questions, of course, but those were questions for another day. One where she hadn’t given birth fourteen times.

Beryl chuckled to herself as she thought about it.

“I can’t wait to tell Grandma Ruby.”