THE "TRUE SURVIVALIST" POKÉMON CHALLENGE
A _true survivalist_ in the pokemon universe, goes into abandoned outback places with only a horny pokemon gal, at the top of the mating season, dressed in just a simple trunk _I_N_T_E_N_T_I_O_N_A_L_L_Y_ ! :thumbsup: :diehard: :yolo:
A _true survivalist_ in the pokemon universe, goes into abandoned outback places with only a horny pokemon gal, at the top of the mating season, dressed in just a simple trunk _I_N_T_E_N_T_I_O_N_A_L_L_Y_ ! :thumbsup: :diehard: :yolo:
OFFICIAL REPORT: THE "TRUE SURVIVALIST" POKÉMON CHALLENGE
Subject: Field Evaluation of Extreme Bonding and Wilderness Survival
Location: often Classified (social taboo, but likely The Deep Outback / "Over the Top" / "Somewhere")
Status: Highly Questionable / Legally Gray
Challenge type: depends on what you’re focusing on!
For a mental challenge: Gardevoir/Kirlia – and TRY TO DISSUADE/CONVINCE HER with logic "not to do it"...
For an "endurance test": Lopunny (this one needs no explanation).
If you want an "otherworldly experience" / to see what it's like "on the other side": Mismagius.
If you want a truly "shocking experience": Luxray.
And if YOU want to initiate the sex: Lunatone, Solrock, Bronzong... Good luck.
Objective: pushing the limits, until the "instincts take over"...
- OVERVIEW OF THE METHODOLOGY
The "True Survivalist" protocol abandons traditional survival gear (tents, potions, sanity, hope) in favor of a minimalist approach. The participant enters a high-risk zone during the peak of the Mating Season, usually equipped only with:
One (1) pair of standard-issue trunks (it become optional by the end of the day).
One (1) high-affection Pokémon partner (mostly Female, but there's ditto...).
An unwavering, possibly delusional sense of confidence.
The "goal" is not to "conquer" nature, but to become one with it "naturally".
- CATEGORICAL RISK ASSESSMENT (THE "CHOOSE YOUR FATE and ABANDON ALL REALITY/HOPE" MATRIX)
THE PSYCHO-LOGICAL GAUNTLET (Gardevoir/Kirlia Class):
The survivalist attempts to use "Logic and Reason" as a shield.
Observation: Attempting to debate a telepathic being who can sense - and modify - your mind is like playing poker with a mirror. A world-class cheating mirror.
Outcome: Usually ends with the human admitting they were wrong about everything while the Pokémon smiles knowingly, spreading her legs wide.
THE PHYSICAL ENDURANCE TEST (Lopunny Class):
Focuses on raw stamina and the ability to survive high-velocity "bonding" sessions.
Observation: Lopunny possesses powerful leg muscles and zero chill / rational_sense during the mating season. For further pushing your luck, there's the "mega-evolutioned version" too...
Outcome: The subject is typically found three days later, unable to walk, but insisting they have reached "Enlightenment".
THE METAPHYSICAL ASCENSION (Mismagius Class):
A quest to see (and come back from) "The Other Side".
Observation: Reality becomes optional. The trunks may gets "spirited away"; the outback may turn into the "garden of wonders".
Outcome: Survival is irrelevant when you no longer exist in three dimensions. Unexplainable compulsion to possess(ion). Subject usually found mumbling in ancient chants.
THE "WALLFACER" CHALLENGE (Bronzong/Solrock Class):
The absolute peak of survivalist madness.. erhm.. imean, boredom.
Observation: Trying to "initiate" with a levitating bronze bell or a literal piece of the sun.
Outcome: Mostly involves the subject getting a concussion (or a high-level metal-overdosing) or severe sun-burn. Mental health professionals suggest this is the "I've been looked into the sun directly, without protection" stage.
- RECOVERY AND DISCHARGE OBSERVATIONS
Upon retrieval by the Ranger Union, subjects consistently exhibit the "Max Affection Status." This is characterized by:
A total lack of concern / logic - regarding their missing clothes / "explanations".
High levels of oxytocin and/or static electricity discarge (if the Luxray option was involved).
The repeated use of the phrase: "Nature loves me, and it was sooo natural, that i love her back, officer."
Hospital Discharge Summary – Extract
Patient Status: Physically exhausted, but with a suspiciously satisfied smile on his face. Clothing (specifically trunks) destroyed under "unknown circumstances".
Diagnosis: Critical levels of Max Affection achieved through "the most natural" means.
Patient's Explanation: Claims nothing illegal occurred; he was simply seeking a path to universal harmony in the "lap of nature".
Medical Note: Oxytocin levels in the patient are off the charts. The high voltage (spark) discharges observed in the Luxray case have been logged as a "rubbed off side effect". The subject who attempted things with the Bronzong has been referred for mental health counseling (with the involvement of an expert from the geology department).
FINAL VERDICT
This is no mere survival challenge anymore; it is a biological miracle that the subjects are still breathing. While they do not qualify for the "Elite Four" badges, we issuing a custom "Outback Casanova" Ribbon, (mostly so the Pokémon Centers know who to keep an eye on when they check in).
Recommendation: Close the file. And DO NOT tell Professor Oak about it.
A _true survivalist_ in the pokemon universe, goes into abandoned outback places with only a horny pokemon gal, at the top of the mating season, dressed in just a simple trunk _I_N_T_E_N_T_I_O_N_A_L_L_Y_ ! :thumbsup: :diehard: :yolo:
OFFICIAL REPORT: THE "TRUE SURVIVALIST" POKÉMON CHALLENGE
Subject: Field Evaluation of Extreme Bonding and Wilderness Survival
Location: often Classified (social taboo, but likely The Deep Outback / "Over the Top" / "Somewhere")
Status: Highly Questionable / Legally Gray
Challenge type: depends on what you’re focusing on!
For a mental challenge: Gardevoir/Kirlia – and TRY TO DISSUADE/CONVINCE HER with logic "not to do it"...
For an "endurance test": Lopunny (this one needs no explanation).
If you want an "otherworldly experience" / to see what it's like "on the other side": Mismagius.
If you want a truly "shocking experience": Luxray.
And if YOU want to initiate the sex: Lunatone, Solrock, Bronzong... Good luck.
Objective: pushing the limits, until the "instincts take over"...
- OVERVIEW OF THE METHODOLOGY
The "True Survivalist" protocol abandons traditional survival gear (tents, potions, sanity, hope) in favor of a minimalist approach. The participant enters a high-risk zone during the peak of the Mating Season, usually equipped only with:
One (1) pair of standard-issue trunks (it become optional by the end of the day).
One (1) high-affection Pokémon partner (mostly Female, but there's ditto...).
An unwavering, possibly delusional sense of confidence.
The "goal" is not to "conquer" nature, but to become one with it "naturally".
- CATEGORICAL RISK ASSESSMENT (THE "CHOOSE YOUR FATE and ABANDON ALL REALITY/HOPE" MATRIX)
THE PSYCHO-LOGICAL GAUNTLET (Gardevoir/Kirlia Class):
The survivalist attempts to use "Logic and Reason" as a shield.
Observation: Attempting to debate a telepathic being who can sense - and modify - your mind is like playing poker with a mirror. A world-class cheating mirror.
Outcome: Usually ends with the human admitting they were wrong about everything while the Pokémon smiles knowingly, spreading her legs wide.
THE PHYSICAL ENDURANCE TEST (Lopunny Class):
Focuses on raw stamina and the ability to survive high-velocity "bonding" sessions.
Observation: Lopunny possesses powerful leg muscles and zero chill / rational_sense during the mating season. For further pushing your luck, there's the "mega-evolutioned version" too...
Outcome: The subject is typically found three days later, unable to walk, but insisting they have reached "Enlightenment".
THE METAPHYSICAL ASCENSION (Mismagius Class):
A quest to see (and come back from) "The Other Side".
Observation: Reality becomes optional. The trunks may gets "spirited away"; the outback may turn into the "garden of wonders".
Outcome: Survival is irrelevant when you no longer exist in three dimensions. Unexplainable compulsion to possess(ion). Subject usually found mumbling in ancient chants.
THE "WALLFACER" CHALLENGE (Bronzong/Solrock Class):
The absolute peak of survivalist madness.. erhm.. imean, boredom.
Observation: Trying to "initiate" with a levitating bronze bell or a literal piece of the sun.
Outcome: Mostly involves the subject getting a concussion (or a high-level metal-overdosing) or severe sun-burn. Mental health professionals suggest this is the "I've been looked into the sun directly, without protection" stage.
- RECOVERY AND DISCHARGE OBSERVATIONS
Upon retrieval by the Ranger Union, subjects consistently exhibit the "Max Affection Status." This is characterized by:
A total lack of concern / logic - regarding their missing clothes / "explanations".
High levels of oxytocin and/or static electricity discarge (if the Luxray option was involved).
The repeated use of the phrase: "Nature loves me, and it was sooo natural, that i love her back, officer."
Hospital Discharge Summary – Extract
Patient Status: Physically exhausted, but with a suspiciously satisfied smile on his face. Clothing (specifically trunks) destroyed under "unknown circumstances".
Diagnosis: Critical levels of Max Affection achieved through "the most natural" means.
Patient's Explanation: Claims nothing illegal occurred; he was simply seeking a path to universal harmony in the "lap of nature".
Medical Note: Oxytocin levels in the patient are off the charts. The high voltage (spark) discharges observed in the Luxray case have been logged as a "rubbed off side effect". The subject who attempted things with the Bronzong has been referred for mental health counseling (with the involvement of an expert from the geology department).
FINAL VERDICT
This is no mere survival challenge anymore; it is a biological miracle that the subjects are still breathing. While they do not qualify for the "Elite Four" badges, we issuing a custom "Outback Casanova" Ribbon, (mostly so the Pokémon Centers know who to keep an eye on when they check in).
Recommendation: Close the file. And DO NOT tell Professor Oak about it.