Winburn Part 1: Civil Service

Story by Tbohn on SoFurry

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#1 of Winburn


The following story is (c) Tbohn*

*(not really... just don't steal it or anything, m'kay? I mean really, I don't know how the whole process works, but I would probably have to go to a lawyer or some kind of office and say, "Yes, I would like to have my story about anthropomorphic foxes doin' it copy written please.")


Winburn Part 1: Civil Service


Cuthbert Winburn is the infamous leader of what used to be the most prominent crime syndicate in the Kingdom of Alcaland. It is said that he ruled over his army of lackeys with an iron will, but in fact it was just a small group of good friends who liked easy money. It is also said that he is a cut-throat killer, but in truth, Cuthbert's main rule for his band of thieves was that no one was to come to any permanent harm unless there was no choice. And legend has it that Cuthbert became blind in his left eye after a vicious knife fight with an evil subordinate, that one is true, and he now wears a rather dashing eye-patch.

Although Cuthbert knew that he was supposed to act like some terrible brigand that never quits, he quietly had his friends go their separate ways last year and retire. A few stuck out in his mind. Vanessa; a wolf and the best lock-picker he ever met, used most of her share to buy some kind of boat before disappearing like a puff of smoke, Karn; a lynx and the latest recruit who took his eye, ended up killing someone and going into hiding, and Tark; the only other fox in the group who had carefully sold their plunder, is now a wealthy banker in his homeland near Scandinavia.

As for Cuthbert, he was currently trying his best to look like a sack of potatoes. Imperial guards had found his shack in the woods and kicked the rickety door in. They must have known where he was all along. He was arrested, taken to a prison, ordered into a burlap bag without explanation, and was now being carried up some stairs after a short cart ride. Fortunately, Cuthbert found burlap to be somewhat breathable, but that didn't make him any happier. He was still a very angry bag of vegetables. He grabbed for the small knife he was able to hide as soon as he was placed on the floor.

He jammed the tip through the bag and ripped upwards freeing himself in moments. He then took in his surroundings with horror. He was expecting some kind of torture chamber that he could fight his way out of, but the royal crown room of the castle was never a consideration. He had never seen royalty before, but he assumed that the young fox on the other side of the room, sitting on the throne, wearing a tiara must be the princess, obviously. And he also guessed that the far older fox was her advisor. The princess was a red fox, just like him, and Cuthbert thought that she was attractive, but a bit young for his taste. He was twenty-nine and she couldn't be any older than nineteen. Though he was robbing mansions at that age, he grew up fast, so the princess was still a pup to him.

Cuthbert was suddenly very aware that he was standing within thirty feet of the princess holding a serrated knife in a threatening manner. Before the guards could react, he politely smiled and set the knife on the ground before sheepishly kicking it away. The room didn't have the regular dog castle guards, but slaves brought from Africa who knew nothing but battle. The two incredibly pungent guards bared their teeth which looked as if they could crush bone before moving back to their respective corners. Cuthbert had never seen anything like them before. They had spotted brown and black coats and the snouts of canines, but they weren't. They didn't smell like anything he knew, they smelled awful, like... death.

Cuthbert let out a small shiver before the princess addressed him. She seemed a bit scared, even though she had two hearty looking guards to protect her.

"Cuthbert Winburn, for once in your life, the Kingdom of Alcaland needs you to do what you're best at. She'll tell you what you need to know," she said while gesturing to the old woman.

The old woman sighed before talking to Cuthbert in a cold voice, "We need you to perform two jobs for the good of the kingdom. The crown has been stolen and..."

"WHAT!?" interrupted Cuthbert, "Who could be that dumb? Where would you sell it? I mean, it would be a real rush to steal the imperial crown. But, the amount of stupid that it takes to steal something like that, especially with those two skulking around," he pointed at the foreign guards, "is unbelievable!"

The woman raised a hand to try to quiet his rant before continuing.

"We don't know the motive, but we need it back before Princess Lenah is married next week. I can tell you exactly where it is. All you need to do is take it back and return it. We would send the army, but this has to remain a secret, wouldn't want to lose face before the big day. We need you because you're the best."

"Really... there isn't anybody else? You have to kick my door down?" he said. Cuthbert was suspicious. Sure he was good, but that good? Was there no one else?

"Look, I'm not going to ask if you'll do it, because if you say no, I'll have the bizarre hulks behind me kill you. I'm only going to ask you what you need to get the crown back," said the advisor.

"What... no pay? I'm just going to do what you say after you turn me loose?" asked Cuthbert.

"Oh, you'll be paid," assured the old woman with her calculating voice, "We have a bag as big as the one you just destroyed in the treasury full of gold and your second job is a reward that you can't put a price on. Now, what do you need?"

Suddenly all of the doubts were thrown out of mind. Cuthbert smiled as he considered the logistics of moving his own weight in gold before he answered.

"Fine... I need three eggs, a needle, a candle, some pulverized glass, some talcum powder, a really nice blowgun like your assassins use..."

Princess Lenah shot the advisor a worried look before whispering, "We have assassins?"

"... some darts, and not the poison ones mind you, a large dark green or dark blue cloak, not black, a grappling hook, and a towel... and some ink. Did you get all of that?"

"I'll have it ready in the morning. Until then, you shall be confined to a private room and he'll be at the door," said the advisor while pointing at one terrifying guards.

"By private room, do you mean jail cell?" asked Cuthbert.

"No. I mean a guest room with private bath. For living in the woods, you've stayed fairly grime free, but I still suggest you clean up anyway or they might sniff you out," said the woman.

"That's fine," said Cuthbert. He was certain that he was about to have one of the best nights of his life tomorrow and he was grinning like a maniac. He took on a mockingly aristocratic air as he sauntered over to one of the guards and stuck out his arm.

"Take me to my quarters, manservant," ordered Cuthbert in a haughty voice.

The guard was far from amused and grabbed Cuthbert by the collar of his shirt with using a grip so strong that Cuthbert was thoroughly intimidated. But he remained calm and let his body go limp as the guard dragged him out of the room by his shirt.

"I'm going to sleep real good knowing that there's a big strong man like you outside my door," teased Cuthbert as he was being hauled to the exit.

Once he was out of ear-shot, the advisor turned to Princess Lenah and asked, "What do you think? You picked him after all."

The princess nodded her head and said, "He'll do all right. He is really good looking. I like his eye-patch it's so da-..."

"Fake," interrupted the elderly advisor.

A moment passed before the princess asked, "He won't tell anyone, right?"

"Trust me. He'll carry the secret to his grave."


Cuthbert worked his way into the ratty alley. He chose a building next to the one which had the crown. Cuthbert had noticed a guard on the flat roof of his target building.

"Some kind of massive syndicate must have stolen the crown in order to keep up a constant guard like that," thought Cuthbert, "The must have taken over during the power vacuum from us disbanding."

Since that was probably the case, Cuthbert was more than ready to knock them down a peg. He had spent the entire day getting his things ready for the big show, his masterpiece and final performance. Since he wasn't using his own gear he decided to make an unusual entrance.

Cuthbert removed the bulky, towel covered grappling hook from underneath his cloak. He swung it in a wide arc before releasing it. He grinned when he heard a muffled *thunk* as opposed to the usual cacophony of sound.

He was on the neighboring roof in no time. Leaving the grappling hook behind, Cuthbert climbed up to the peak of the roof. The wooden slats seemed relatively new, so he made very little noise, but Cuthbert noticed the shadowy figure of the guard looking a bit more alert.

"He must have heard the grappling hook anyway. I guess that it was a little over-the-top but, I just had to try it!" He decided.

Cuthbert held his breath as he drew out the blowgun. He carefully loaded the dart before placing it over his lips and putting his tongue over the end. He then built up some air behind his tongue before removing it. Cuthbert blew out the trapped air in his lungs as hard as he could; he had quite some distance to cover.

The shadow flinched and raised a hand to its neck before sluggishly removing something from its pocket. The paralyzing chemicals rapidly took effect, and Cuthbert watched as the figure fell to its knees before rolling its head and falling on its back.

He lowered himself down the other side of the small roof. He was dismayed to find that the roof he wanted to be on was covered with gravel, a nightmare for trying to stay quiet. But he was glad to see that the two roofs were closer together than he had expected. So close in fact, that Cuthbert was able to stretch his leg across the gap and place his paw on the solid edge of the opposing building.

With a quick push from his other leg, Cuthbert was standing on the edge of the building he wanted to be on in the first place. For fear of creating any noise, he edged his way along the side of the roof which was devoid of the gravel treatment. He finally caught a glimpse of the guard as he was balanced on the edge.

The guard was a black weasel of some kind. He must have drawn a knife before he fell to his knees. Instead of falling forward, he crumpled backwards and trapped his feet behind his back in an incredibly uncomfortable looking position.

"I hope he has good flexibility," observed Cuthbert, "otherwise he'll be real sore when he wakes up."

After gawking at the weasel a bit more with his one good eye, Cuthbert scanned the surface of the roof. It was devoid of any skylights or trapdoors.

"WHAT!? What the hell kind of place is this!?" angrily thought Cuthbert, "Everything has skylights in Alcaland! Every house, stable, château, and shed! My crummy shack that I built in the darkest part of the forest, HAS A SKYLIGHT! Who built this thing! Why is there gravel!? WHY THE HELL IS THIS ROOF FLAT!?"

Still gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, Cuthbert started to plan, with every plot being more ridiculous than the last. After mentally boiling his thoughts down into their most pure form, he finally settled on a plan. It was concentrated idiocy. While Cuthbert set to work preparing what he needed, he mentally scolded himself.

"I'm smarter than this, I really am. It all started with the towel and the grappling hook. Why did I have to be cute? Why didn't I just tunnel under a wall? Why didn't I set a fire outside to make a distraction... this roof must have terrible drainage."

Finally, he had everything he needed. He had taken the shirt and belt off of the weasel and placed his legs in a less painful position so he wouldn't sober up as fast. Cuthbert then tied the sleeves of the shirt and filled it with gravel. After tying the belt onto a small drainage duct over a window, he had everything in place.

He lowered himself down the side of the building using the belt like a rope. He ended up beside a window big enough for him to climb through. Cuthbert swung the bag of rocks and shattered the window. He let the shirt go and it crashed to the floor sending gravel scattering everywhere. The sound was incredible.

As he was clambering into the just recently ruined window, Cuthbert thought, "I think they know that I'm here."

As soon as the pads of his feet hit the floor, he heard a young man scream, "You killed my brother you bastard!"

When Cuthbert heard the word "brother", he was felt the worst pain he could imagine in his left thigh. Fortunately, at the end of "bastard" his attacker removed the knife.

For a split second, Cuthbert saw yet another weasel silhouetted in front of him. He had tears in his eyes and a small, bloody knife in his hand.

"He's just a kid," thought Cuthbert, "He forgot to keep the blade in and twist; a rookie mistake. And he's also holding it wrong. He doesn't have his thumb over the top; another rookie mistake. I'm gonna hate myself for this."

Cuthbert batted the knife away with his left hand while reaching into the recesses of his cloak with his right. By the time the knife hit the floor, he had one of his special, inky-black eggs in hand. Cuthbert crushed the hollowed out egg and threw the entire mess into the face of the young weasel.

His attacker threw himself to the floor and covered his face. He was crying out and thrashing from the pain of having a handful of crushed glass thrown into his eyes. Cuthbert instantly felt sympathy. As he searched the room for the crown he calmly talked to the young man.

"Don't rub your eyes. Don't even blink. You were tearing up when I threw the egg, so the glass shouldn't stick too bad. When your brother wakes up, have him help you to wash your eyes out. I know what you are going through right now. Having your vision ruined will give you an entirely different perspective on life... it did for me."

The weasel quieted down while Cuthbert was talking and was silent by the time he found the crown. The thought of his brother still being alive must have comforted him. It made Cuthbert miss his own family for a split second. He couldn't think of anything else to say. All he could manage was a soft, "I'm sorry" before he opened a door and ran down a flight of stairs.

After all of the racket that he had made, Cuthbert knew that backup would be on its way. He took another egg out of his cloak and preemptively crushed it by the time he reached the bottom step. A canine face was already peeking out of a doorway. The dog's eyes grew wide when he saw the intruder and he took a quick breath to shout, but before he could, Cuthbert had already opened his paw and slung a cloud of powder into his face.

The dog gagged as the powder created a dust cloud that filled the room he was coming out of, similarly blinding any other thugs that might have followed him. Cuthbert ran past him and down the hallway while crushing his last egg. He kicked down the front door and turned when he heard someone shout, "Hey!"

He threw a final dust cloud into the doorway and heard a thud as someone ran into the doorframe. Cuthbert spun back around and took off running down the street towards the wagon that was waiting for him. As his adrenaline began to wear off, he became more and more aware of his wounded leg. He was limping by the time he reached the wagon.

Once inside and on his way back to the castle, Cuthbert took a look at his stab wound. He had to pull his fur back to get a good look the cut. There wasn't much blood, but the surrounding fur was a bit damp. He wasn't light-headed. That's a good sign. As he tied a small strip of clean cloth around his leg, he found himself feeling less sorry for the young man he had thrown the glass at.

"He thought that I had killed his brother. So he stabbed me. I thought that I was going to die. So I threw glass in his eyes and made him blind, just like me... and for what?" He looked at the crown, "A symbol of a failing regime. There hasn't been a decent monarch in Alcaland since I've been alive. They all have something wrong with them. I can't quite tell what it is, but I sure hope the royal family finds a way to revive."


"Wonderful! Wonderful! You got the crown back! As if there was any doubt. And, you did it all before Princess Lenah gets married next week," the advisor was beaming as she addressed Cuthbert.

He decided that it was an unusual and alarming look for her.

"Yeah... I know... can I get paid now?"

"You will be paid tomorrow morning. In the mean time, get some sleep in your room and work on healing that leg that the doctors mended. By the way," she lowered her voice until it was at a palatably creepy volume, "did you know the secret about the fireplace in your room. Did you wonder why it's so big?"

Cuthbert had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. She was talking to him like he was a pup. But, he decided to play along and look interested since she is a woman with a lot of power. He talked to her as they wandered down a hall.

"What about the fireplace?" he asked in a droll voice.

"It's a secret passage. If you climb up the latter you find inside, you'll wind up in the room above yours. And you should know this because, that is where your second task is. You know... part of your reward for a job well done."

"No kidding..."

"You should go see to it right away. Otherwise, you will be too late," assured the advisor.

"Okay... after I check out the grand prize, can I go to sleep?" he asked.

"Absolutely. See, we're already here."

Indeed they had arrived at the guest bedroom. Cuthbert decided that it was a little unnerving how she had led him to it without him noticing. The advisor still had on her freakish smile as he closed the door.

"Weird..." he thought, "but, I might as well check out that fireplace."

Cuthbert lit a candle and placed it on the floor of the bare fireplace. He climbed inside and found and wooden latter concealed part of the way up. In fact, it was never even used as a fireplace. There was no exit for the chimney!

Cuthbert yawned as he climbed the rungs to the top before pushing a stone slab and crawling into the fireplace of another room. It was well lit and very ornate from what he could see initially. As soon as he was on his feet he heard a perky voice say, "Hello, Cuthbert."

He panicked when he found the source of the voice. It was the princess. She was seated at a small table and was drinking a cup of tea while looking him over.

Cuthbert was frozen in place for a moment before he said, "Oh... I really shouldn't be in here. I am so dead. Sorry, I have to go."

"Nonsense, have a seat," said princess Lenah.

Cuthbert fell into his seat hard and looked at the princess.

"Okay, what is this?"

"I get married next week."

"Good for you. I get paid tomorrow. Can I leave now?" pleaded Cuthbert.

To this Princess Lenah simply said, "He's my cousin."

"Who?"

"My betrothed."

Cuthbert grimaced, "Ugh... that isn't legal. No priest would marry cousins."

"No. But a bishop with special permission from the pope will. You see, we have to keep our holdings in the family. And what's worse is that we have to "consummate" our union that night under the watch some interested parties for it to be official."

"That's... nasty."

"I know... like I said, he's my cousin. Have you ever heard of Victor the Second?"

Now Cuthbert was worried, "Yes," he said cautiously "he died when my mom was my age. He had some sort of medical condition. He fell down some stairs."

"He was pushed down some stairs," corrected Princess Lenah, "after he mauled his wet nurse... he was thirteen."

Cuthbert was in awe.

"That is supremely foul. Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, Victor the Second's parents were in my family. Now, why am I normal and not a drooling idiot like him?"

Cuthbert couldn't think of anything. He returned a shocked stare.

"That's because the queen is my mother but, the king is not my father. A retired general is. Do you see where I'm going with this? The crown was indeed stolen. But everything else has been one big setup to get you here with me, alone. The idea being that you would have sex me so that the family bloodline stays pure and I don't have to have my cousin's child."

"Oh wow. I don't like this at all. You're like my kid sister, if I had a really young kid sister."

"What's the matter? Your child will receive the best education in the land, I'll see to that. And, they'll be royalty. That's the best future you can ever guarantee someone."

"Did that old woman coach you to say that? What do you want?" asked Cuthbert.

"It doesn't matter! I picked you out of about a dozen other men. I like you, even though I never met you. I like how you've never killed anyone, I like you're sexy eye patch. If I was a peasant girl, I would be in love with you. But, I can't love you. I can only see you this once. So, I demand that you make it memorable."

"You know, I got stabbed tonight. How about some other time?" offered Cuthbert, "Like in about... five years?"

Princess Lenah lowered her voice and moved closer to Cuthbert, "It has to be tonight. I'm in heat, Cuthbert. If it's not you, it's going to be my cousin."

Cuthbert started to say something, but Princess Lenah cut him off, "If you refuse, I'll call for the guards. They will rush in here and kill you. So, what will it be?"

Cuthbert narrowed his vision and bared his teeth. He was not in the mood to play games, but he knew that he had already lost this one. He thought about having children someday, but not like this. He wanted it to be with a woman he loved. She was stealing from him. She was stealing how things were supposed to turn out for him. He made sure that every syllable of his response hit home.

"I'll have you know... that both you and the old woman... are conniving... bitches."

Lenah was unfazed by his insult, "Great! So, you'll do it? Oh, and you have to absolutely, with out fail, get me pregnant," the Princess looked embarrassed; "I mean we have to... you know... tie and everything."

Cuthbert closed his only eye and turned his head to the ceiling, "Good lord," he thought, "I don't want to be at this for any longer than I have to, and she wants to tie!? If we were in love, that would be really nice and relaxing. But in this situation, it would be more like prison. Is there any way I can speed this up?"

After a moment of thought, he came up blank. He decided that there was no other option than to go along with it.

Cuthbert shook his head and rose from his chair. Princess Lenah looked at him expectantly. As soon as he motioned to her bed, she ran over and began to remove her dress. When he smelled the scent of her musk for the first time, he felt his groin give a short lurch.

"I hate my life right now... my instincts are saying "Grab her! Growl and tear her up! Bite her! Make her beg!" but my brain is telling me to jump out the window and hope for a bale of hay. If we don't tie, she'll just make me do it again. For once... I'm not going to enjoy this... and you know what? If that's the way it has to be... she won't either," He thought.

Once Cuthbert had reached the bed, Princess Lenah was already naked and bent over the side with her paws resting on the covers. Though her thick tail was swishing from side to side, he was able to see her swollen vulva. From here, her scent was intense. Cuthbert threw off his cloak and had to quickly drop his pants as his growing erection was becoming far too uncomfortable, both physically and mentally.

Lenah turned and saw that Cuthbert's red penis sticking out of its sheath. She made a face part way between panic and joy, something Cuthbert was not expecting.

"Have you ever done this before?" he asked.

"Umm... once... with one of the guards... kind of..." she confessed.

"Not one of those big smelly death machines, right? I don't want some kind of disease," said Cuthbert in a panicked voice.

"No. It was one of the usual guards. He was really nervous," she said.

"He must have been terrified," thought Cuthbert, "If he had sex with her, she might kill him, if not, she might kill him anyways."

Cuthbert decided that he was wasting too much time. He forced himself to stop thinking about what he was doing as he grabbed the young fox by her hips and buried himself deep inside her. Cuthbert heard her cry out before he closed off his mind and focused on the pleasure instead. She was incredibly wet and delightfully warm, but tight. Really tight. Ow! Too tight!

The pain brought back his senses and he opened his right eye to see Princess Lenah panting and bunching up the sheets of her bed. She must have been as uncomfortable as he was. He would rather tear out his other eye than cause a woman harm, but in this case, he didn't mind so much.

Through his gritted teeth, Cuthbert managed to ask, "How old are you... exactly?"

"Oh... *huff*... eighteen," she said with some effort.

Cuthbert shuddered and let out an "Ugh" before he forced himself to continue. He focused on the heady scent of her sex and brought his hips back only to press in again. He heard Lenah yip and then start whimpering as he rested himself inside her. Cuthbert really didn't want to take his time with her; he saved that for the women he loved. He decided to try to make this fast, and if she didn't like that, too bad.

Cuthbert drew back and plunged in. Without stopping, he rhythmically drove his hips back and forth as fast as he could. Lenah would occasionally gasp or moan and throw herself back causing some of Cuthbert's thrusts to be more forceful than he would have liked.

Lenah cried out and fell onto the bed as she clamped down on Cuthbert. She had already reached her orgasm before he felt that he was even half way to his. But, Cuthbert didn't last long once he felt Lenah's innermost muscles start to massage and pull on him. His knot swelled up, trapping him inside her as he ejaculated and involuntarily growled with pleasure, the only sound he had made throughout the entire act.

He heard Lenah begin to groan and Cuthbert opened his one, good eye to see the princess panting on the bed. Even as his penis was still pulsing inside of her, the gravity of the situation hit him. They were tied, and he was stuck standing up like he was some kind of stupid village teenager. He was glad that the princess had turned around instead of making him face her the whole time. But he really wished that he had had enough sense to ask her to get on the bed.

Cuthbert was not very aroused; in fact he was thoroughly disgusted with himself once the moment had passed. Since he would not have an erection for very long, they probably wouldn't be tied for longer that five or six minutes. Normally, he would be holding and tenderly massaging his lover, but in this case, he was looking around for something to do.

He opened the drawer of the night stand to find a nearly full bottle of port. Relieved, he picked it up and popped the cork off. He tossed it on the other side of the room and began to chug the sweet wine without a glass.

"Are you drinking my wine?" asked Lenah between breaths.

Cuthbert thought about not answering her but instead he said, "Alcohol is not good for the baby... so I'm disposing of it for you. You're welcome."

Lenah started to whine about her precious contraband being poured down the gullet of a common thief, but Cuthbert could care less. He decided that he had just had the most rapid and unsatisfying love-making experience of his life.

He was completely drunk once the bottle was gone. In his stupor, Cuthbert was thrilled when his knot had diminished enough for him to withdraw himself. He set the bottle down on the table as he extracted his manhood. His glistening penis flopped against his thigh once he had removed it from the princess's still clenching loins.

"Whew... ‘bout time," he said as his tongue flopped out of his mouth due to his drunkenness.

Lenah said something to Cuthbert, but he forgot what it was as soon as he heard it. He decided to give the princess's royal ass a hard spank before departing. She whirled around pointed at Cuthbert in a threatening manner, but he was unfazed.

"Don't... like... uhh," he started to say. How did that saying go again? Something about bugs... oh, well. He decided to end his hanging sentence with, "sleep bad or anything."

He crawled back into the actual fireplace in the room and descended down the latter, completely forgetting about his clothes which were still on the floor. Cuthbert tripped on the last step and fell the rest of the way. He was overjoyed that he had avoided the lit candle he had placed at the bottom. He landed on his tail and decided that it would hurt a lot worse tomorrow. He stumbled out of the fake fireplace and flopped down on his bed.

Cuthbert never slept, or even walked around, naked. It wasn't... decent. But, he decided to make an exception. His last thought was about how someday, the bastard son of a bastard son would rule Alcaland.


Cuthbert awoke to a pounding on his head. But it wasn't his hangover; it was someone actually pounding on his head. His eye flew open and he smelled that awful smell again as the imported guard punched his snout and the other tied up his legs. The guard stopped bashing his face long enough to grab his mouth and hold it shut as the other wrapped a rope around it to muzzle him.

It had only taken a moment, but Cuthbert found himself completely immobilized. His vision dimmed as he was thrown to the floor and carried out of the room. But, to where?