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Oh, hell! Jensen almost lurched forward, but forced himself to lay back in his hospital bed and keep his grip on Khalilah's hand gentle. She'd been giving him a running commentary on the battle as she fought alongside Team Prime thousands of miles away. She'd used this remote-controlled, human-sized body to visit him before the hunt for Airachnid began, and had stayed with him through its duration. She'd told him that Arcee was keeping Ratchet and the others in the Autobot base up to speed the same way. Airachnid's jammers had cut off their radio and comlink communications, but fortunately the links between Arcee, Bulkhead, and Khalilah and their Pretender bodies was on a frequency that the jammers couldn't affect.

He'd almost cheered when she told him that Airachnid had finally been taken down, but had remained silent so he wouldn't distract Khalilah. He'd been relieved that it was finally over, but then she'd told him about those things burrowing under the snow toward the team.

Damn this broken leg. I should be with them. Sitting on the sidelines had been hard enough, but when Khalilah told him about Airachnid's murder of one of her hostages, it was all he could do to stop himself from leaping out of bed and demanding a ride to the base so he could suit up and join the fight.

“Definitely Decepticon technology," Khalilah muttered. “I've never seen these things before, but they have that 'look' about them. Giant metal worms about ten meters long and wide enough to swallow a human whole. The business end reminds me of Scraplet mouths – row upon row of razor-sharp teeth arranged in concentric circles. Probably a weapon left over from the war on Cybertron, maybe an automated defense system built into the Harbinger. Airachnid seemed crazy enough to try to adapt them to her own purposes."

And Khalilah said our friends are facing twenty of those things. Shit. Jensen nodded and kept quiet, letting her concentrate on the fight.

A few more seconds passed, then she turned to look straight at him. Even though her face was a blank mask except for a single red, glowing optic strip, her body language told him that the good guys had just scored a point. She thrust her fist into the air and then cupped her metal hand around his flesh one.

“Colonel McKenna just took one of them out with an energon-enhanced grenade. It wasn't enough to blow the thing up, but the blast gutted it. The rest of the team are trying to take the others out the same way. It's not easy, the way the things thrash around and burrow underground and attack from beneath, but if they can keep pulling it off, the rest of the weapons can be destroyed before much longer."

“Glad to hear that." Jensen placed his other hand over hers and smiled.

“Optimus just ripped one apart with his rotary cannon." She made a quick gasping sound and then relaxed. “One of them almost got its teeth into Terwilliger, but Washington and Chang distracted it. Bumblebee and Smokescreen are moving in for the kill. Hah! Bee just sent a hail of bullets straight down its throat. It hasn't quite been neutralized, but it's badly damaged."

“That's a huge relief. Looks like the tide is turning."

“Miko just stunned one of them with a flashbang. Ultra Magnus chucked a grenade into its mouth. A Cybertronian-sized one, I mean. That should be enough to – whoa!" She jerked back suddenly. “Heh. That one was big enough to tear the thing apart, but the shockwave almost knocked me on my ass."

“It'd be a damn shame to dent such a lovely ass." Jensen grinned and Khalilah let out a quick laugh.

“Well, thank you. I'll do my best to avoid any dents and scratches." She stepped closer and grasped his hand again. “Steve and I just finished off the one Bee damaged."

“Three down, then. So far, so good." Maybe the team had a chance, after all. I hope the immediate future is uneventful, once this is over. At least until I'm healed and able to get back into it. He glanced at Khalilah and smiled. He'd been surprised as all hell at the recent turn of events with him and Khalilah, but he wasn't about to complain. He wanted to spend more time with her that didn't involve one potentially fatal confrontation with giant, evil alien robots after another.

Same goes for the rest of the team. They all deserve some serious downtime after the past couple of weeks. Part of that downtime would involve services for the teammates they'd already lost in battle, but he'd been trying not to dwell on that. A ray of light piercing the darkness would be welcome right about now.

Suddenly, Khalilah jerked upright and raised a hand to her head. “Oh, no!"

“What?" Jensen's heart pounded. Was she hurt? Oh, shit, did I distract her and –

“Miko," she said softly. She turned to meet his gaze and her hand fell slowly back to the rail on his bedside. “Miko's down!"

---

“What the hell?" Jack winced at the sudden, ear-splitting scream that had come over his helmet speakers. He glanced around, spotted Arcee in the corner of his eye, and then flicked his eyes over the blips in his HUD representing each teammate. He found his mom's blip darting across the landscape. He glanced ahead of her general direction and found Miko's blip flashing red.

Oh, no. A cold sensation surged through his chest. One of those giant metal worm-things must have gotten its teeth into her. Heart pounding, he charged in Miko's direction. Footsteps caught his attention and he glanced over his left shoulder to find Arcee racing along beside him, her optics wide and her mouth hanging open in shock.

“Miko!" Off to the right, Bulkhead's human-sized body scrambled across the snow-covered battlefield toward her. “Miko! No, no, no – don't – just hang on, Miko!"

Jack's mom reached her first and dropped to her knees. “I've linked up to her armor. Getting medical info now. Pulse is rapid but steady. Oh, shit!"

Jack spotted the blood all over the ground as he crossed the last few yards between him and Miko. Blood, pieces of her armor … and chunks of flesh and bone. He and Arcee stopped a few feet away to give his mom enough room to do her job.

Arcee nudged his shoulder and he glanced at her. She pointed at something behind him and he turned to see what it was. He found one of the robotic worms thrashing around with Khalilah clinging to it. More of Miko's blood had sprayed its surface near its maw, and he almost gagged at the sight of a gloved hand dislodging from between its teeth and tumbling to the ground.

“Khalilah must have tackled it to get it away from Miko," Arcee muttered, her tone almost numb.

Miko screamed again, and Jack spun toward her just as Bulkhead crouched beside her and caught her remaining hand between both of his.

“Hang on, Miko! Stay with me!"

“I saw it happen," Terwilliger's voice came from somewhere behind Jack. “Christ. It got hold of her right arm, a few inches below the shoulder, and …"

The worm bucked Khalilah off and sent her spinning through the air to crash into the ground a hundred feet away, sending up an enormous burst of snow on impact. She pushed herself up to her hands and knees, shook her head as if to clear the cobwebs out, and got back to her feet.

“Its teeth spun," Terwilliger continued, his voice quivering. “It cut right through her armor. It sawed her arm off!"

“Her armor automatically applied a coagulant to stop the bleeding," Jack's mom said. “It's injecting painkillers and meds to keep her stable, but we need to get her back to the base now."

“No …"

Jack glanced up at the deep, rumbling voice, and found Optimus staring at Miko. His normally stoic expression twisted with sudden fury and he charged the worm. Each footstep shook the ground hard enough to make Jack stagger. Optimus slammed into the giant worm just as it was rearing back like a cobra preparing to strike. His momentum carried the thrashing monstrosity several dozen yards before he stumbled and fell on top of it. He cocked his fist back and drove it into the worm's side, again and again, first denting its armor all over, then finally punching through. He grasped the edge of the wound, braced his foot against the worm's side, and ripped it wide open with a primal roar.

Everyone took a step back and that cold sensation spread through Jack again. He'd never seen Optimus completely lose it like that. Even the other worms paused to stare at him as if paralyzed with fear.

Miko grunted and Jack turned back to her. She pulled on Bulkhead's hand, hauling herself upright, and fumbled with the seals on her helmet. She managed to pop the latches and Bulk helped her take it off. Most of the color had drained from her face and her mouth was pressed shut as if to clamp down on more screams – but the look in her eyes chilled Jack's blood. That wasn't pain or fear in those eyes. That was murderous rage.

She tried to brace her feet under herself and Bulkhead put his hand on her shoulder.

“Miko, calm down."

“Gimme a grenade," she snarled between gasping breaths. “Or a bomb. Or something. Something big."

“Miko," Jack's mom said, “you've lost a lot of blood. You need to save your strength."

“No!" She heaved herself up. Her legs wobbled, but she remained upright. “I'm finishing this, June."

“No, you're not! Damn, your armor should've sedated you instead."

“I've notified Ratchet," Arcee said. “He's trying to work out a way to lock on to us through the jammers and open a ground-bridge. General Sanchez has authorized the Vehicon defectors and the ones we captured to fly in as soon as Ratchet is able to get them near our position. Heh, they've been begging to help us out, so I guess it's about time to see how serious they are."

Miko nodded, then she glanced around. Her gaze landed on Bulkhead and she lunged at him. She grabbed the grenade launcher hanging on his back, hit the release on the electromagnets that held it in place, and yanked it off him. His optics opened wide and he tried to grab it back, but she lurched away from him and stumbled toward the worm Optimus had just finished ripping apart.

“Holy shit," Khalilah muttered as she made her way back to the others.

The rest of the worms turned toward Optimus and surged forward, all of them converging on him.

“Optimus! Look out!" Miko fell to her knees and barely managed to get back up as he turned to her and then glanced around.

Tomoko skittered in from the right on her spider legs and fired several bursts of her webbing into the nearest worm's mouth, gumming up its teeth and sealing its maw shut. She jumped sideways and disabled another, but three more whipped past her and a fourth plowed straight into her, knocking her off her feet and sending her rolling across the ground.

Smokescreen and Khalilah bolted toward her and tried to pull it off her.

The other three had almost reached Optimus. Struggling to remain on her feet, Miko lifted the grenade launcher and popped one off. It soared over the worms and exploded in the air, causing no damage but distracting them for a moment. They turned toward the blast, then swung around as if scanning for the grenade's point of origin.

They locked onto Miko and she fired another round. The grenade glanced off the nearest worm's teeth and ricocheted deeper into its gullet. A feral grin spread across Miko's face before she staggered and had to brace her forearm on her knee.

“Eat that, motherfucker!"

The worm convulsed and green-tinted flames erupted from its maw, along with some of its innards. Secondary explosions tore more of its guts apart and it flopped over. It twitched a few times and stopped moving. Smoke billowed from its mouth and energon spewed onto the ground.

Optimus leaped in front of the next worm, shoved his cannon into its mouth, and pulled the trigger. A hail of armor-piercing rounds ripped it apart from the inside out, tearing through its back and sending flames and chunks of vital components spraying out behind it.

Miko tried to stand up straight, but stumbled and swayed and finally toppled over.

“Shit," she mumbled, and tried to sit up, but she was finally too weak to move. She flopped onto her back with a frustrated growl. “Goddamn it!"

A grenade arched in from the left and bounced off the rim of the third worm's maw. Ashanti rushed over to Miko as it landed on the ground and blew a whole in the snow, and crouched beside her.

“That was my last grenade."

Bulkhead rushed over to Miko, retrieved his grenade launcher from her limp hand, and turned to aim at the worm as it charged them. He fired four grenades down its throat and leaned over to shield Miko with his body. Everyone else planted themselves between them and the onrushing worm.

The grenades gutted the worm and blasted holes through its sides. What was left of it crashed down a few years away and sprayed everyone with a fountain of snow.

“Nice shot," Miko whispered.

“We gotta get her out of here!" Bulkhead slid his arms under her and lifted her gently. “Airachnid's finished, Miko. Mission accomplished. These other things … it's just a mop-up operation. They're below your pay grade, kid."

“I need to stay in … in the …" Her eyes fluttered and she forced them to remain open. “Aw, hell …"

“You." Ultra Magnus charged over to take a position beside Optimus and pointed at Khalilah. “Your alt-mode is a jet, correct?"

“Yeah. I can take Miko out of the jammers' range and Ratchet can bridge us in."

“Do it. We'll deal with the rest of these weapons."

Khalilah nodded, jogged over to an open spot, and transformed into her jet mode.

“Won't you need … a runway?" Miko mumbled.

“Nope. The purple VTOL in a game I saw you playing caught my eye, so I created a model and programmed it into my T-cog. I can lift you straight into the air and fly you to safety."

“And don't argue," June snapped as Optimus picked Miko up and carried her to Khalilah. Magnus followed along, turning to keep the remaining worms in his sights.

Jack glanced around at the worms and arched an eyebrow. Huh. They're not coming any closer. Maybe they're analyzing the situation and trying to come up with a new strategy. He shook his head. Terrific.

Arcee glanced away for a second and then looked around at the others. “Ratchet just bridged the Vehicons to our last known location."

“I'll fly in that direction, then, and give them your GPS coordinates when I meet them."

“Good. Optimus, the Vehicons are planning to bomb the hell out of these worms from the air. We should clear the area immediately."

“I don't …" Miko groaned as Optimus lowered her gently into Khalilah's cockpit.

Arcee turned to June. “You should go with her."

“My back seat's available," Khalilah said.

June shook her head. “I can't leave Jack …."

“I'll be fine, Mom. We're leaving, remember?" He gave her a quick hug. “Go. Take care of our friend."

June glanced from him to Miko and back, and finally sighed. “Alright. But you guys get the hell out of here immediately, okay?"

“We will." Optimus smiled and lowered his hands to the ground. June stepped onto his palm and he cupped his other hand over her before lifting her up to the seat behind Miko.

Ultra Magnus stepped forward and kneeled in front of Miko. “Your friends were right about you, soldier. You're practically a Wrecker."

Miko grinned and managed to lift her hand long enough to give him a thumbs-up.

“Stand clear, everyone," Khalilah said. Once everyone had backed away, she rose off the ground and retracted her landing gear. Once she was high enough, she hit her afterburners and soared across the sky.

Jack turned back to the worms and noticed them circling slowly around, approaching with more caution than before.

“They're learning," he said with a shiver. Arcee reached out to hold his hand.

“Our new friends will be here to glass this whole area in a few minutes," Ashanti said, waving her arm in the direction Khalilah had flown. “Haul ass, everybody!"

---

“Hey!" Raf jumped to his feet and pointed at the monitors. They'd suddenly come to life, showing stats and video feeds from each member of the team. And each feed showed the same image – a wall of flame rushing forward like a tsunami. “Oh, crap."

“Huh," Ratchet muttered as he shut the ground-bridge down. The vortex dissipated and Khalilah rolled slowly forward, then she began to rotate. “It appears our new allies have delivered on their promise. Airachnid's jammers must've been destroyed along with the weapons Arcee told us about."

“Looks like quite a blast." He glanced at Bee's monitor, then Tomoko's, and let out a relived sigh when he saw that their stats were normal. He turned to Khalilah as Ratchet reset the ground-bridge for the Groom Lake base. “How's Miko doing?"

“She's unconscious, but she's hanging on," June said. “The sooner we can get her to the base …"

“On it," Ratchet said. “Activating the bridge now. A medical team is waiting for you." He pushed the lever forward and the vortex filled the tunnel just as Khalilah finished turning around.

“On our way," Khalilah said. “See you guys soon." She eased into the tunnel and vanished.

Ratchet shut the bridge down and entered new coordinates. “Optimus, can you hear me?"

“I can, old friend. Mission accomplished, thanks to some help from the Vehicons. We've scanned the area and all enemy targets have been neutralized."

“That's good to hear, Optimus. Now that we're no longer being jammed, I can open a bridge near your location. Stand by."

“Thank you. We'll see you soon."

Ratchet reactivated the bridge and turned to watch the vortex. Raf hurried down the stairs and across the floor, and Sierra joined him. Team Prime, Ashanti's squad, and their support unit came through first, followed by the Vehicons. Each of the latter had taken on a different color scheme to make them easier to identify.

“Welcome back, everyone." Ratchet walked over to put his hand on Optimus's shoulder.

“Raf!" Tomoko grinned, waved, and walked over to him. Bumblebee followed her, and both of them crouched in front of him. Bee fired off a string of beeps and honks.

“Glad to see you, too." He grinned up at his friend, then turned to smile at Tomoko. She leaned closer and held her hand out. He reached up to place his hand in her palm. “Glad you're okay."

“So am I. I was terrified, but the only way to get through it was to keep fighting."

Sierra grinned and rushed forward suddenly. Raf glanced over at the vortex and found Smokescreen following Ultra Magnus into the base. Smokescreen spotted her, smiled, moved out of everyone else's way, and crouched. She held her hand up to him and motioned for him to lean closer. A confused look crossed his face as he did so. She ran her hand along his cheek and then took a deep breath.

“Aw, what the hell, you only live once." She threw herself forward, stood on tiptoe, and pressed her lips against his. He froze and his face turned blank. Sierra stepped back, panted, and grinned up at him.

“Huh. I have no idea what that was." He smirked. “But I like it! Again?"

She laughed. “Yeah."

He moved even closer and they kissed once more.

Oh. Raf grinned. Oh, wow. He glanced around and almost snort-laughed when he spotted one of Tenesha Hargrove's camera guys pointing his camera straight at them.

Soft sobbing caught his attention and he glanced over at the support team just as one of them rushed out of the room, wiping tears from her face. Tomoko glanced at her and her smile faded.

“She's a friend of the guy Airachnid killed." She winced. “We were in such a rush to get away from that place, I forgot to retrieve his body. Luckily, Steve remembered and carried it back here. He'll take it back to Groom Lake as soon as Ratchet can bridge us over there."

“Losing a friend is rough," Arcee said as Jack took his helmet off. “I've been through that too many times, myself." She glanced at the doorway and sighed. “From what the others told me, those two grew up together. They were like siblings. Inseparable. And now she'll never see him again."

Jack put his arms around her. She hugged him back and they held each other for a long moment. When they finally stepped back, he stroked her cheek and then kissed her.

Raf and Tomoko beamed and Bee gave them a double thumbs-up. Raf chuckled and turned back to the rest of the team.

“Thank you all for your help," Optimus said to the Vehicons. “Without your assistance, the battle would have dragged on and we would have suffered more casualties."

“We're thankful for a chance to help Tyra's friends," the blue one said. “She was kind to us even though we were your prisoners. She helped us realize we'd been on the wrong side all along. Breakdown was a good supervising officer, but no one else on our side cared whether we survived the next battle. We've seen how different things are with you, and we hope to be a part of that."

“Welcome to the team." Optimus smiled and shook his hand.

Arcee smiled, slipped her arm around Jack's waist, and waited for them to finish their conversation. When Optimus turned toward her, she said, “If you don't mind, we'd like to head off to Groom Lake. We'd like to be there when Miko gets out of surgery."

“Me, too," Raf said. Bee nodded and Tomoko said, “So would I."

“Of course." Optimus smiled and turned to Ratchet.

“I'm on it." Ratchet hurried back to the ground-bridge console and input new coordinates. He pushed the lever and a new vortex crackled into existence. Jack and Arcee clasped hands and walked into the tunnel. Bee and Tomoko followed, and Raf hurried to catch up.

I sure hope she's gonna be okay.

---

“I'm so nervous!" Rosalina ran her hands over the front of her shirt as if to smooth out any wrinkles, even though it was just one of her favorite T-shirts rather than something fancy. She'd chosen it because it was familiar to Bobby and she wanted to do whatever she could think of to put him at ease. She'd put her human disguise back on as well, in case seeing her true form would freak him out.

Laughing softly, Lucas held her hands. “I've already explained all this to him. I've even shown him a few pictures of what you really look like, plus a few of us hugging and holding hands. He's had time to adjust."

“I hope so."

A beep came from Lucas's phone and he glanced at it. “They're about to bring him out."

“Okay. Wow, my spark is just racing!" She tugged on her shirt again and glanced down at her cargo pants, as if making sure the zipper wasn't open.

Lucas grinned, kissed her, and took her hand. They walked out the door and across the lot to the picnic area where she'd shared a few meals with her new human and Autobot friends. She found Bobby and an airman waiting at one of the tables near the fence. It was a bit after noon, the sky was mostly blue with a few puffy clouds here and there, and a gentle breeze ruffled Lucas's hair.

It's a perfect day. She waved as the airman pointed at her and Bobby turned around. He grinned, held his arms up, and ran over to her.

“Mommy!"

She pulled him into an embrace, closed her eyes, and smiled. “Hey, kiddo! I'm so glad to see you!"

“I'm glad to see you, too! Finally!" He held on to her for a full minute before he let her go and looked her over slowly. “Daddy said you're really a robot."

“Yeah, I am. An alien one. Pretty cool, huh?" She waved a hand at her face. “This is a disguise I wear so I can fit in."

“You don' need it. I know you're my mommy."

Aww! She beamed and stood slowly. “Okay. Wanna see the real me?"

“Yeah!"

“Okay, then." She transformed back into her robot mode. Bobby stared up at her with wide eyes and then grinned and thrust his fists into the air.

“Awesome!"

“Told ya," Lucas said, and put his arm around her. “You got yourself all worked up over nothing."

Grinning from ear to ear, the airman took his phone out and said, “When you're ready for lunch, just let me know. I'll text your order in and they'll bring it right out to you."

“Thanks."

“Yeah, thanks." Roz smiled at him. “And thanks for bringing our son."

“Anytime, ma'am. I'll be waiting right over there if you need me for anything." He pointed over his shoulder at another table and walked away.

“You're not gonna go away again, are you, Mommy?"

“No, never again." She kneeled and put her arms around him again, wondering how to explain the past few months to him. “I'll always be here for you."

“I love you, Mommy!"

“I love you, too." She smiled, closed her optics, and just held him. Even if another crisis happened later, nothing could take this moment away from her.

Yeah. A perfect day.

---

“Hey, she's awake!" Jack walked over to Miko's bed as she blinked and rubbed her hand over her face. Arcee, Bulkhead, Raf, Tomoko, Bee, and June crowded around her bed. “How're you feeling?"

A confused expression flickered over her face, then she seemed to remember what had happened. She glanced at the bandaged stump under her right shoulder and sighed. Her lips quivered, but she clamped down on it quickly and forced a lopsided grin.

“Well, shit. Guess I'll have to learn how to masturbate with my left hand."

June snorted and Bulkhead guffawed. Jack shook his head and grinned.

“Yep, Miko's back, alright."

“Well, I'm not gonna let a bunch of giant alien killbots keep me down." She glanced around. “Wait a minute. How're all you guys fitting in here? I mean, Bulk and Arcee I can understand, but Bee and Tomoko? Oh. You've got Pretender bodies now?"

Tomoko nodded. “Just got mine this morning. I thought this would be a good way to try it out. Bumblebee had the same idea."

“Great, but that means …" Miko raised an eyebrow. “How long was I out? I mean, I remember kind of fading in and out a few times, but …"

“Five days," Arcee said.

“Holy shit!" Miko's jaw dropped and she took a few seconds to pull herself together.

“They got the first fabricator built," Arcee continued, “cranked out the parts for another, followed by parts for a few of these human-size bodies, and then started making the parts Bulk, Breakdown, Knockout, and I need while they're putting the second fabricator together."

“Hey, that's fantastic news!" Miko reached over to clasp Bulkhead's hand.

“The thing that surprised me was Breakdown insisting that I be repaired first." He shook his head slowly.

“Huh. Guess he thought you needed it more than anyone."

“He wouldn't be wrong," Arcee said. “Even with my spine severed, it wasn't life-threatening. Bulkhead has far more internal damage."

“Ratchet and Knockout are doing the repairs in stages," Bulk said. “Replacing all the damaged components at once might be too traumatic, so they're easing me through it. Another week or two and I'll be whole. Arcee's repairs are already finished. So are Breakdown's and Knockout's; they were fixed up in between operations on me. I'll probably have to learn how to walk all over again, but I'll get there sooner or later." He shrugged. “Breakdown and I have hated each other for a long time, but now he put off his own repairs for me. He even harangued Knockout into getting started on me before he fixes all of his own dents and scratches."

“Huh." Miko arched an eyebrow again. “Maybe everything we found out about Unicron scared him."

“Wouldn't surprise me."

“Yeah," Arcee added, “even Knockout's been acting subdued ever since we rescued him and Breakdown. Looks like it really shook both of them up." She motioned at June and put a smile back on. “But we didn't come here to fill you with dread. June's got a bit of good news for you, and Jack and I have something else that oughta brighten your day. June, how about you go first?"

“Okay. Miko, they're going to be giving you a new arm. It'll work a lot like Jack's new legs."

“Yes! I was hoping to hear that."

“Carla will drop by later and show you a few of the state-of-the-art models, assuming you don't go for a normal-looking one that matches your skin tone."

“Oh, a robot arm that actually looks like a robot arm? That would be so badass! Can't wait to see what they've got."

“I thought you'd like that." June grinned and glanced at Arcee and Jack. “Okay, your turn."

“I'm still keeping up on current events back in Jasper," Arcee said with a shit-eating grin. “Just heard that Weird Walter's been arrested again."

“Hah! Was he trying to hump something again?"

“As a matter of fact …"

Miko burst out laughing, winced, and rubbed her arm. She put the smile back on and said, “Well? I need details!"

“This time, he went into the women's room in the Walmart, peeked under one of the stalls, and asked an elderly woman to have sex with him."

“Oh, Jesus Christ!" Miko laughed again, grimaced at another pain, and took a slow breath. “That poor woman."

“And I've got his mugshot." Jack dug his phone out of his pocket, loaded a photo, and held it out to Miko. She glanced at it and shook her head.

“Yeah, he always did look like the kind of guy who'd jerk off into a bag and mail it to you."

Jack burst into laughter and had to lean on Arcee to hold himself up. Arcee chuckled, put her arm around him, and then flashed a goofy grin at Miko.

“Yeah, just imagine sitting on the toilet and seeing that peek under your stall and say, 'Hi! Wanna fuck?'"

Miko dissolved into a fit of giggles and Jack slumped over the bed rail. Once he'd caught his breath, he said, “If you think that's hideous, you should see his dad."

“Oh, I've seen his dad before. He looks like Abe Vigoda fucked the Crypt Keeper and their baby miscarried."

Jack laughed so hard that the room started to fade out. Somewhere in the distance, everyone else burst out laughing, as well.

“I feel horrible for laughing at that, but I can't help it," his mom said before busting up again.

“Well," Bulk said, “I've heard it's the best medicine."

“It definitely helps," Miko said. “Ah, Jasper, Nevada … don't ever change."

Jack finally regained his composure and sucked in several deep breaths. “Oh, wow … I'm seeing spots!"

Miko grinned and handed his phone back. Arcee leaned over to pat Miko's shoulder.

“Good to have you back."