Confessed Truth
#5 of Time Will Tell
Finally back to the present... Get to find out what happened with Van...I feel this ch.re-hits on a lot of already known things, but opens up for what's next. This one's fairly short, but I think I just wanted to give everyone a chance to guess what's to come. Next ch. will be ridiculously long I believe x__x' As usual, enjoy...feedback appreciated and very much welcomed. * * * Waking up I instantly felt something wasn't right. I was in a bed, and Van's scent was there as well...but he wasn't. I bolted out of the bed, or at least that was my intent. The lower part of the blanket had still been securely tucked under the bed...my paw caught and I fell face first to the floor but the land never happened. My nose was a quarter of an inch from the floor, shirt tight against my chest as someone held the back end. I was tugged sideways till my lower half fell from the bed to the floor, my knees would hurt later because of this but at the moment I didn't care. I made to stand up, only to have my nose flicked which made me jerk back. My eyes were watering from the awkward pain, paw reaching up to hold it. "Easy boy," I heard, looking up to see the wolf from last night, "just because we're in a hospital doesn't mean you should go and encourage injury." The first thing I think I noticed were his crimson eyes, the color seemed to harmonies with his black fur...it was still unsettling though. "Where is he?" I sounded scared, and his ears twitched from my tone. I made to get up only to be pushed back down. I had just woken up, nearly smashed my head off the floor, and now this wolf was screwing with me...I admit my anger got the best of me. I snarled, teeth bared...that smirk he wore on his muzzle only fueled my rage. I was about to lunge at him until I heard a door open, my eyes darting to see what made the sound. My anger vanished, anxiety replacing it as I saw Van. I made to get up and go to him, only to have the wolf push me back again....which only pissed me off once more. The wolf was quick though, before I had a chance to do anything his paw clamped around my muzzle. He was kneeling now, his eyes paralyzed me with fear. It's hard to explain, but the look he was giving me made my fur stand on end, chilled my blood. I think it might be how people who are faced with death feel, body screaming at you to do something but you just can't. "You need to pay attention to what's going on," his voice was soft, almost gentle, and his eyes seemed to soften as well. "I know it's hard, but don't go rushing without thinking." He pulled away with that, turning to look at Van. I really had no idea what he had been talking about until I pulled myself up and looked at Van, I mean really look at him. He was shaking, his skin pale and glistening with sweat. His eyes were shut as he leaned inside the door frame, forcing himself to take deep steady breaths. He looked stoic but when those beautiful deep blue eyes opened, I got a glimpse of his pain. The wolf had stopped me for Van's sake...I would have probably went over and hugged him right away without even thinking. "Kiddo, let me call for some morphine or something," the wolf said, his tone like a worried parent. Van shook his head, "I deserve this." The wolf started to try and convince Van to change his mind, but Van was stubborn. I brushed past the wolf, who stopped mid sentence. Van's eyes were watching me as I approached him, he was smiling now but the room was quite. "Please take something to ease the pain," I said, breaking the silence. His smile faded, and he was about to tell me no...I could tell. "I don't want to see you in pain," my voice was shaky, and I could feel the tears running down my fur. "I thought you were dead. Take something so I don't have to see you in pain." I breathed out a please in his ear, my arms wrapped around him tenderly. His shaking had settled some, but he was still overly tensed. He agreed in the end, and I helped him back into the bed. I sat beside him, nobody in the room talking until a fox entered. He seemed surprised when he walked in, but cleared his throat and introduced himself as Dr. Miller. He injected Van almost immediately, but questioned why his IV had been taken out. Van said something about it just bothering him, while the doctor said it made giving him medication a lot easier plus kept his fluids up. I whined a little, giving Van my best ‘puppy dog' look...he conceded and said to put it in again. "Kai," the way the wolf said my name sounded odd. It wasn't like a stranger saying it, where they say it kind of awkwardly if it's the first time speaking the name. He said it more like we've known each other for awhile, his voice had a familiarity to it. "Let's let the doctor get Van set up while we go get something to eat." He wasn't asking, he was telling. I looked at Van, the drug helping relax the tension from his face somewhat. "Bring me back something," he murmured as he closed his eyes, "I'm starving." "Fen," I turned to look at the wolf, who wasn't looking at me...in fact he seemed bored at the moment as we rode the elevator to the first floor. "What?" "My name, it's Fen." All I could say was an "oh". We were silent again, and stayed that way until we were in the cafeteria getting something to eat. He suggested us eating first while here, then taking ‘kiddo' something afterwards. I didn't argue, nor did I say anything as he paid for both our meals...there was just something about him that I couldn't put my paw on. I really wasn't hungry, but forced something down so I didn't have to leave Van later. I could feel Fen's eyes on me, but he had taken up his shades once more upon leaving the room. So when I looked up I didn't see those eyes that could send a shiver up my spine. "Thanks," I said, my voice having that embarrassed tone when you know you were wrong and are admitting to it. "I really wasn't thinking when I got up." "Rather have you angry at me then feeling like shit and pulling away from him," he sounded amused. "He needs you now," he stated what I wanted to believe. "He never needs me," I mutter around the bite of toast in my muzzle. I was insecure at the moment, now that I knew Van was okay I couldn't stop questioning why he did it. "You really shouldn't talk," he was smirking as I looked at him again, "you start making me think you're an idiot again." I just kind of stared at him...I mean what do you say to that when you don't know the person? His ears turned slightly to the left, muzzle following soon after to look at something. I looked only to see two nurses, realizing super bitch being one of them. "You're probably hurt, thinking why would he try to kill himself when he had you? Don't try to turn this into a pity thing though. He didn't do it because of you, or even because Kim and Kate died. So don‘t make up your mind about the situation until you actually know it." He was getting up as he finished his little speech, turning back to look down at me. "Finish eating and get something for him," he simply said, throwing down a fifty and walking away. I just watched him leave, kind of in turmoil after what he said. It was something I needed to hear I guess, and did help stop those nagging thoughts once I decided to talk to Van. I was absentmindedly eating the now tasteless food, until it hit me that Fen said Kim and Kate. Van never spoke of them since the accident, and everyone else seemed to take the names as taboo for his sake. I could remember the night of their death well, maybe because he never cried. Everyone else had, but the one who should have been hurting the most didn't. * * * "He didn't threaten you did he?" Van asked the doctor, who was taking out the stitches since they had no reason to be in him anymore. His wounds had healed and all that remained were two bright livid scars on his abdomen. The doctor didn't say anything at first, trying to focus on what he was doing. He was amazed at the current state of Van, trying to wrap his mind around this impossibility. "No, no...why would you think that?" The fox was being thankful of his nimble fingers, trying his best not to touch Van because even with the morphine he seemed to be in a good bit of pain. "Because you know who I'm talking about without me having to say," he stated, watching the doctor as best as he could. The morphine was doing wonders, and he had no idea why he was considering to refuse it in the first place. "We just talked," the doctor said, as he finished. He gentle wiped the area, only to hear a sharp intake of breath. "Sorry," he apologized quickly, looking at his patient with worry. Van did a dry laugh, "I heal quickly but the pain remains, think it's to remind me that I shouldn't abuse a gift." The doctor found the situation intriguing, wishing he could find out more about Van. His thoughts were interrupted as Fen entered, his presence making him awkwardly grab up the tools he had just been using. "Hey doc, a nurse asked me to give you this." The wolf handed him an envelope, then looked Van over. "Feeling better?" Van's eyes were closed, and he couldn't really find it in him to open them. "Yeah, just tired." Fen chuckled, turning to watch the doctor read over whatever was in the envelope. "So, he going to be able to leave soon?" "Umm...yes," the doctor said, looking up at the wolf suspiciously. "We...I want to just keep him here for a few days to monitor his pain. If it seems to be decreasing he can go home as long as someone stays with him for a week." "Alright, not a big deal," the wolf said with a smile. The fox was looking over the paper again, but felt someone invading his personal space. Looking up he saw that Fen had gotten closer, leaning down slightly. "Something wrong doc?" he asked the fox, a crooked grin on his muzzle that showed off several sharp teeth. "N...no," the fox stammered, and even though he couldn't see those eyes he still felt them. "Umm...I have some things I need to..." he stopped, the wolf had moved even closer and he couldn't make himself pull away. "I warned you," Fen breathed out in his ear, making the fox shiver. "Why don't we go to your office for a little chat and let the kiddo rest." The fox felt the large paw on his shoulder, turning him to the door. Van must have fallen asleep, the fox was kicking himself for getting caught in this type of situation. He wanted to scream for help, run...do something but found he was to afraid. His head was down, ears drawn back, and tail between his legs as he was lead down the hall. He found it rather pathetic that nobody noticed his strange disposition ...idiots. * * * I walked back into the room, surprised to see nobody in there. I had two large and two small to-go containers, not sure what he would be in the mood for. He was sleeping as I set the bag down gently on the nightstand, and just standing beside his bed looking him over. He looked peaceful, but the past few months showed on his face. My paw pad softly skimmed over the dark bags under his eyes, moving down to touch the stubble that had grown over the past few days. I could feel my blush, a shy smile coming across my muzzle when I realized he was watching me. I had been so preoccupied with my overall observation that I missed the slightly opened eyes watching me. It was the look in those eyes though that told me it was okay to continue my observation...I hadn't seen the look since mid-April. My paw traveled down his neck, traveling his collar bone to his shoulder. From there I moved down his chest, enjoying the feel of muscle and hair. I chuckled, looking up to see the confused look on his face. "Remember when you shaved it off?" "Yeah," he said with a lazy grin, "I also remember you telling me to 'shave it back'." Oh how he laughed when I said that. I just kind of blurted it out, not really thinking of my words. "It's not that I didn't like the look," I muttered, touching his sternum. "I just wasn't prepared for it, and I enjoy the hair anyway. Plus when it came back in you were one of the most unhappiest people I've ever seen." "It wasn't very fun. Stubble rubbing against a shirt," I felt the slight shiver from the memory. My finger had reached his abs, and was about to touch the angry looking scars. It was a crossed shape with it‘s length reaching his sides, and the intersection was just above his navel. I touched it, but barely, not wanting to cause him pain...I still heard the slight quiver in his breathing. I removed my paw, not wanting to hurt him anymore. "I missed you," I heard, my left ear turning towards him, but I continued looking at the scar. "I lost most of my family, I wasn't going to lose the only thing I had left." I turned to look at him, not understanding. His eyes were sad, as if he had to think about losing me for a long time. "I want you to eat something before we get into this," I spoke, moving over to the food. I felt his eyes follow me, apparently he was surprised I was willing to wait for an explanation...truthfully I was too. "So what would you like?" I asked, looking at him while holding the bag with a smile. "I don't think I can do anything heavy," he said after a moments thought. I popped open one of the smaller containers, filled with an assortment of fruit. "You're way to good to me," he muttered as I held out a grape. Him eating was a slow process, he would doze off for five minutes here and there due to the medication. At the moment I was laying with him, back resting against the headboard while his head rested on my lap. He hadn't eaten much, and this was the result of forcing himself to eat what he did, he was exhausted. So I let him sleep, while I settled in and enjoyed the contentment I felt. I had started to doze off as well when Fen entered, my nose twitching from the scent. Opening my eyes I saw him throw his trench coat and jacket from his three piece suit to the ground, his tie hanging loosely over his shoulder as he made for the bathroom. I waited a few seconds, trying to discern what that scent was, but couldn't completely place it. I carefully left Van, walking over to bathroom door and opening it to enter myself. "Oh want to join?" was the first thing I heard as he entered, he sounded amused. I closed it behind me, eyes narrowing as I took another inhale. "What were you doing?" I asked, watching as he adjusted the water temperature and tested it with his paw. He moved closer to me, his shades resting on the sink so I got to face those crimson eyes again. "Why do you ask?" The smell was sort of like sweet grass, slightly musky, but it was his breath that got under my skin the most. "You smell like blood." "Do I now?" he asked, smiling and turning his back to me. He removed his shirt, to which I saw soft tendrils of silver fur wrapped around his midsection. I thought it a very odd pattern, but who was I to judge. His head turned to look at me again, "If you're not going to join me then leave...I like some privacy." "Are you going to tell me why?" "Well I'm kind of a show me yours I show you mine kind of wolf, and since one of us doesn't want to show...well," he shrugs. He really liked to push buttons, and I wondered how Van ever managed to be around him. "Though in the direction of convincing you, I'd make sure you really enjoyed yourself," he winked and turned back to the shower. "You know what I...never mind," I grumbled, shaking my head. It was probably just my imagination anyway, or I would believe that for the moment. Reaching in my pocket I pulled out the thirty dollars change from Van's food. "Here's the change from..." "Just keep it," the older wolf said, pulling his paw back as he was satisfied with the temperature. "But it's over thir..." "I said keep it." I was watching as he started unbuttoning his pants, stopping to look at me again. I blushed realizing I was staring and made to leave. "I know it's hard, but you really don't have to be suspicious of me. As long as you and Van are together you have nothing to worry about." I didn't say anything, I mean there wasn‘t much to say when he made it sound like the only reason I was alive was because of Van. * * * "I really love your family," I heard Van say, his voice low as he probably just woke up again. The doctor had been generous with his morphine, someone coming in to keep him maxed for the first day. Side effects being him slipping into unconsciousness randomly, but he was healing still so nobody seemed to mind. My parents had come and left, just visiting to make sure Van was alright. My dad also asked why Van didn't have an IV...apparently the doctor forgot and never really thought about it again. At the moment it was just him and I in the room, I had been sitting at the foot of the bed reading through some news articles on my phone. There was nothing about Van, which was a relief so he didn't have to feel judged by everyone for the attempted suicide. "They're not just my family," I said softly, rubbing my pads over his leg. "Interested in getting a bath?" Looking up I got my answer from his facial expression alone. I moved to the bathroom to get everything set up. It wasn't long before his back was against my bare chest, my wet fur clinging to him as we relaxed in the tub. I had gotten soaked while helping him shower off the grime from the last few days, so figured ‘what the hell' about joining him while he soaked. His arms rested on the sides of the tub, my paws running slowly up his sides and chest just enjoying the feeling. I thought he was asleep, until I heard "I really am stupid." I nuzzled the top of his head, I noticed his hair was longer then I remembered a few days ago...maybe because I hadn't seen it wet for a bit? "You're not stupid." "I had you, I shouldn't have needed anything else, but existing in that house..." he trailed off, I felt the tremor going through his body. "I couldn't get rid of the memories of them. Even while I blocked out everything else, those memories kept running through my mind. I had to protect myself, but in the process I caused you pain didn't I?" I wrapped my arms around his chest, squeezing lightly. I didn't trust what could come out of my maw, but I did want to convey that I still loved him...no matter what he did it wouldn't change that fact. "After helping you study for the AP Calc exam...how did you do?" his tone changed suddenly, asking like he really wanted to know. "I'll find out Monday for sure, but thanks to you I‘m positive I got a good marks." I stated simply, wanting him to continue more then talk about other things. "You never really need my help," he chuckled...I had missed his real laugh. "You just doubt yourself to much. Umm...I was just aimlessly wondering the house after you left. I was always so selfish, using you to buffer out everything else." Hearing that made me sad, not because he ‘used' me but because he had to use me. "I suddenly got this urge to see them...mom and Kate. It consumed me, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I...I've never gone back in time before, I never even thought about trying until that moment. I wasn't thinking...I just wanted to see them one last time. So I attempted..." --- The crowd was clapping with ambition, the girl of only thirteen years had just performed the Devil's Trill flawlessly...they were in awe. She was calm, smiling but humble about what she had just done. It was a breathtaking sight, flowers being thrown onto the stage as her mother came up to embrace her daughter. It was a good ten minute applause, but the cloaked figure saw what he wanted to and made his way to leave. He sat on the bridge, the rain was heavy and the spring air still had a chill to it. He pulled the cloak closer, just waiting. It happened pretty much as he expected, and it now made sense why he had been told so soon...it wasn't a pretty sight. The fifteen mile speed limit that was set for walkers on the bridge was completely ignored by the drunken driver...there wasn't anyway for the other vehicle to avoid them, it was a narrow bridge. He watched the impact, heard the screaming metal of the vehicles. The drunken driver had swerved into them, the initial impact would have killed his mother while it was the slamming into the metal siding that would have gotten his sister. Van could feel the tears, but they were more from relief...they would have died almost instantly. A light "Good bye," was said as he left, his form disappearing as quickly as it came...never again would he look upon that forsaken bridge of the gods. --- "It was like I just witnessed everything as a dream, I woke up in the study. Everything was still fresh in my mind." I felt the slight shakes, knew he was crying but from his voice alone I wouldn't have. I held onto him tightly, just trying to comfort him and let him get this out. "I cried for awhile, fell asleep... When I woke again, I noticed that the light outside hadn't changed at all. It took me a moment to realize that time was still stopped. Apparently going back was something I wasn't suppose to be able to do, and I forced something to make it happen. I think what was going on was to prevent loops...I don't know though, time is so difficult to explain." He paused, and I made the suggestion to get out as the water was starting to become cold. I dried off first, then helped him. He wouldn't make eye contact, and I felt it best not to push him at the moment. I helped him get into some silken pants Fen had brought for him, asking if he wanted a shirt. He shook his head, and I let him sit on the toilet while I got some pants my parents brought me on, opting to go shirtless as well. Walking over to help him up I was surprised as he hugged my midsection, head burrowing into the fur of my midriff. I hugged him to me, enjoying the closeness and being the only one who he wanted it from. "I missed your smell, your touch...I'm so sorry." He had never been what I would call needy, but I felt it now. He was afraid at the moment, "It's alright, as long as you're okay." I was trying to comfort him, but it felt like I was coming short. "Their death...seeing it was such a weight off my shoulders. Like I couldn't...wouldn't accept it until I saw it with my own eyes. I was ready to finally move on, but I couldn't. I was stuck for what felt like several months. Usually time would start again when I stopped focusing, but I wasn't focusing and it still hadn't picked up pace again. I started to become hysterical, running out of ideas on what to do." He paused, taking in a shaky breath. "I've been told I can't die, so I had no fear as I made the double cut...because even if I was to die, it would have been a better option then existing without you." My laugh was light, as I slowly moved my fingers to massage the base of his neck. "Tempting death just to be with me....I'm honored, but I rather you coming back to me in one piece." I pulled back, having to give gentle force so he let go. I cupped his chin, forcing him to look up as my thumb pad wiped away the trail the tears had left behind. "These brief moments that I get to see your soul bared completely," I leaned down to gently touch his lips with mine, "mean the world to me." We laid there, on the small hospital bed cuddled together, him fast asleep. I knew deep down I could never hate him, never judge him badly for his actions no matter how horrible they seemed. This was a truth I would hold onto until death...he was the other half that everyone wished they could find. The one that made me whole... * * *
Fen had felt a sinking feeling ever since the child had been found in a pool of his own blood, and after listening in on what Van said...he was worried. The wolf was walking towards the pitch black home, ears erect as he listened to all the sounds. He was calm, but being cautious because the situation was delicate. He was about to enter the home, but paused as something didn't feel right. His hackles raised as he jerked back just as the door swung open, quickly moving behind the corner that started the outside entry way. Taking a slow intake of breath as not to be heard, he tried to distinguish the scent of whoever came out of the house. "I know you're here Fenrir," the wolf heard the deep growl, followed by the sounds of heavy footsteps. Claws suddenly dug into the window where the wolf had been moments before. The creature snorted, head turning from side to side as he scanned the area. He suddenly felt the cold tip of a blade against the scales on his neck, shivering from the touch. "How did you get behind me?" "It's a house, it has more then one way to get inside," the wolf muttered, depressed that this was so easy...but of course the dragon always was. "Why are you here?" "Since when have you been so serious?" the dragon asked, folded wings twitching a little. "Don't think about it," Fen growled, eyes narrowing when he saw the wings move. "I don't understand why you would even draw a weapon against me. Especially that sword..." "How do I even know it's really you?" Fen had no choice but to be suspicious, his life obviously endangered now. He watched as the dragon slowly drew the two swords hidden beneath his cloak and tossed them a few feet away. "I'm not sure how I can convince you Fenrir," the dragon admitted softly. "We were very close before your binding, and after that I helped you escape. I didn't think anyone would ever be able to find you...until that rift was made." The dragon's tail twitched, showing his nervousness as he made to turn around. The sword didn't pierce him, so he took that as a good sign. "They easily figured which plane you went to after that...so I came to warn you." "You're risking a lot coming here," Fen muttered, slowly lowering the sword. "He wants your head," the dragon spoke, eyes looking the wolf over. "Who did he send Faf?" the wolf asked, turning around and heading back into the house. There was a pause, causing the wolf to look back at the dragon. His eyes were downcast and the wolf's ears dropped as he heard Fafnir breath out "Tyr." * * *
I realized I edited my 'master copy' without fixing this up...so now this doesn't suck as badly! (cheers) .___.'