How To Deal With An Annoying Roommate

Story by Killick on SoFurry

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A frustrated polar bear deals with his rabbit roommate by shoving him somewhere he can't be heard. His belly.

Just a fun story that popped into my head the other day. Enjoy!


Jason sat comfortably on the second hand sofa, fingers twitching away at the controller as he exercised his video game right to murder everything that moved with explosive weaponry. He paused the game only briefly to swig from the beer can that rested on the floor by his feet. Placing the beer back down, the polar bear lazily scratched his round belly and resumed the game. Jason was about to unlock a multi-kill combo award when his gleefully destructive rampage was interrupted by an unwelcome yet familiar noise.

"Jason. Jason. Jason!"

The polar bear's eyes narrowed in annoyance as he let a short blast of air escape from his nose. The noise was in fact the shrill voice of his roommate, a grey rabbit named Tad, who was a little difficult to get along with. Jason and Tad had not known each other before university. It was only through luck and convenience that they had ended up sharing the small, cheap apartment. For the most part Jason did not have a huge problem with Tad. The bunny kept clean, always paid his half of the rent on time and was pretty quiet most of the time, often spending hours sitting and staring into his PC. But there were times when Tad could be a little crazy.

"Jason. You said you were going to wash up," said the slender, grey rabbit as he appeared in the arch that led to the tiny kitchen. Jason scrunched up his brow, honestly confused.

"I did. And then I dried, and then put everything in the cupboard," Jason said without moving his eyes away from the game on the television, fingers and thumbs pumping. Tad took a few steps closer to his roommate.

"Well, you must have missed a few things."

Jason sighed, knowing full well that he had not missed any of the washing up, and had in fact done a damn good job of cleaning the entire kitchen. A noble task despite its small size.

"Look, if you're talking about that bowl of chips, I was going to wash that later tonight. I've cleaned everything else and I really don't see what one little bowl is going to do." The bear shrugged, still fixated on his game.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to do it all myself," Tad huffed, and tried rather pathetically to make his relatively short frame look taller by rolling his shoulders back.

"Go for your life," Jason said, at the same time blowing away three uber-space-mechs with a rocket launcher. A small sigh escaped him and he wondered how he had put up with this crazy OCD freak for three weeks without just throwing him out of the window. Which would have been interesting considering the small apartment was on the fifth floor. Jason looked over and caught a glimpse of the bunny's backside cupped very nicely by a tight pair of jeans before he disappeared into the kitchen. The bear licked his lips. That's how.

Jason could not deny that Tad had an amazing body. The grey bunny had a naturally slender, almost delicate frame. The kind of figure that sparked a small amount of jealously in Jason as he had never seen Tad exercise and assumed the rabbit just possessed a super charged metabolism. But the rabbit also carried a rather large rump that gave a curvaceous, almost feminine look to his body. Jason guessed the cushiony butt had developed from nearly a lifetime of sitting in front of a computer. His mind wandered at the thought of the bunny's asset, and he imagined all the things he'd like to do to Tad, if he could just get him to shut up. Jason grinned as he thought of one particular method that would stop the rabbit from talking. He let his mind wander too far, his concentration dimmed, and his virtual avatar exploded in a geyser of blood and bone.

"Shit," Jason mumbled to himself, focusing on the game as he restarted and continued on his electronic rampage of death and destruction. He got a few more minutes of peace before Tad returned.

"How do you do that?" asked the bunny.

"Um, pardon?" Jason shook his head. Tad gestured at the polar bear.

"Just sit there. You never do anything around here. All you do is play games. You don't even care about uni."

Jason stared at the bunny in shock, his game left forgotten and unpaused on the screen. His mouth searched for words to react to Tad's blatant shit talking. It took a lot to get the polar bear angry, but he could feel his temper starting to rise.

"What the hell, man?" he growled. "You don't get to say shit like that, because you know what? I've finished all my class work for this week, and work has cut down my shifts, so I'm just trying to enjoy my free time. I'm not disturbing or hurting you, so I'd love to know what the hell your problem is."

"You hog the TV." Tad shifted around as he spoke. Not certain if he had started something he could finish. "Sometimes I like to watch TV as well, you know."

"Are you serious?" Jason could not believe that was the real reason. The rabbit had to be lying, or just making stuff up. "Then why didn't you just ask? I would have done something else if you wanted to use it."

"Well," the rabbit huffed, "I didn't want to interrupt you being lazy."

Jason stood up. The couch creaked from the sudden absence of weight. Jason had a bad habit of hunching over, and often would not stand at his full height. It was a body image thing. But right now the polar bear straightened his spine and let his frame dominate the room. The tips of his ears brushed against the ceiling as he loomed over the much smaller bunny. Tad's face barely came up to his chest.

"Don't you dare call me lazy. I earn my keep, and do my chores. But because I don't do them exactly how you want them done, for some reason they don't count. At least I can relax, instead of running around this apartment and stressing over every little hair that is out of place." Towering over his roommate, Jason's huge bulk cast an imposing shadow over the short bunny. Ears drooping and fur quivering, Tad's eyes flashed with fear. Seeing this, Jason immediately felt guilty, and was about to take a step back and apologise when the bunny mumbled something.

"At least I clean up my hair," said Tad.

Jason's eye twitched. The little bastard just had to get the last word in, didn't he? He just could not let it go for once. Something in Jason's head clicked. There was a very simple solution to this problem. A solution he would very much enjoy. He blinked once, then grabbed Tad by the shoulders and easily lifted him off the ground.

"Hey, what the hell? Put me down!" Tad struggled and squirmed, but couldn't break the polar bear's strong grip. Jason's huge paws nearly completely surrounded the thin bunny waist. He opened his jaws open wide and stuffed the rabbit's head inside his mouth. Tad froze. A wet and meaty tongue slurped over his face.

"Oh no," Tad whimpered. He tried to struggle again, but Jason shoved the rabbit in further, Tad's face and head starting to slip down into his humid throat. Tight, fleshy walls closed against his skull. Jason swallowed and the bunny was drawn down by powerful muscles. Tad kicked out with his feet, but found only air. His arms were clamped tightly by his side by Jason's paws and eventually his cheeks.

"Lemme out!" yelled Tad, but the cry was muffled through flesh and fat. Jason couldn't help but grin as he felt the rabbit squirm and struggle and he was pushed further into his drooling mouth. Scrawny shoulders were swallowed down into the bear's gullet, quickly followed by Tad's chest. Finally, the plump bunny booty entered the bear's mouth. Jason made sure to press his tongue firmly against the soft butt as he swallowed, making Tad squeal in surprise.

Jason could feel the rabbit traveling down, deeper into his gut, and squirming all the way. He sucked Tad's thin legs and feet into his mouth and swallowed one last time and felt the rabbit finally settle inside his stomach. Jason rubbed his fat gut, now bulging slightly, feeling the panicked bunny squirm around trying in vain to find a way of escape. He wandered back over to the couch and flopped down into the cushions, picked up the controller and continued his game.

"Only way to shut you up, Tad," he said to his quivering belly as Tad struggled. "Don't worry, dude, you'll be fine. I'll let you out later." He grinned. "When I'm done playing."