Alphys' Bad School Day (PART 4)
#4 of Alphys' Bad School Day
CHAPTER 7
ONE INCREDIBLY EXTENSIVE AND BRUTAL CHILD-BEATING LATER...
"AND STAY OUT!" Asgore yelled at Alphys, shaking his fist at her as he literally kicked her battered, bleeding, horribly disfigured body right out the front door and onto the pavement, where she bounced several times before finally (very painfully) tumbling and sliding to a stop, lifting herself up weakly onto her crutches and examining her heavily injured body.
"Man, if there was ever a physical state to accurately reflect how I feel about myself right now, it would most DEFINITELY be this..." Alphys moaned in agonizing pain as he readjusted her broken glasses, puked out the remaining bloody pieces of her teeth, stuck several tissues from her backpack into her crushed-in, bleeding nose with her one remaining non-prosthetic arm (the left one, of course, which was luckily her writing one), and reluctantly shambled her way over on her one non-bandaged leg to an elevator that led back to her lab down on the first floor of Hotland (since the school was at the top), her mummified torso aching excruciatingly with each step.
"PLEASE VERIFY THAT YOU ARE A CITIZEN OF THE UNDERGROUND." the elevator instructed her as she stared directly into its optical scanner with her one openable and non-black eye, sending her straight down back to where home was without any real trouble (thank God).
"HOME...SWEET...HOME!" Alphys grunted in pain as she finally reached the front door of her lab and went inside, heading right up the escalator to the second floor and entering her newly invented instant-revitalization chamber, instantly healing all of her injuries and leaving her just as hungry as before.
ONE CUP OF INSTANT NOODLES LATER...
"Hey there, Mom and Dad!" Alphys called her mother and father (who were both living in an exceptionally tall and dull-colored apartment building in New Home City, profoundly far away from her even though she was still technically a child) on her iPhone. "Just wanted to let you guys know that I...ahem...SUCCESSFULLY made it through my very first day of junior high! AREN'T YOU GUYS PROUD OF ME?" Alphys squeaked at them with irritatingly fake joy.
"Um...no, actually, we're REALLY not!" her father scolded her very disappointedly. "In fact, we just got a phone call from Asgore about something you did to his wife that was apparently so utterly disgusting and despicable that it even just recently made it onto nearly EVERY single news channel in the Underground! PLEASE tell me you're not going to EVER do ANYTHING like this again, PLEASE?!" Alphys' father got down on his knees and begged her, handing the phone over to Mom as he briefly took over her dinner-cooking role.
As it turns out, Alphys' parents were busy cooking a nice big turkey for a family-get-together PTA meeting (that Alphys was literally the only one not attending besides Undyne, who had left to check on her out of sheer love and care for her) in the dining area on the bottom floor of the building, with Papyrus serving as their loyal sauce-stirring assistant while Sans cracked jokes.
"Alphys, I just about literally could not possibly be any more absolutely ASHAMED of you even if I tried! And you seriously wonder WHY we kicked you out of our family in the first place?! It's PRECISELY because of atrocious tomfoolery like what you just did today! Alphys, you bring absolute, utterly disgraceful SHAME upon your family! SHAME! Now go to your pitiful little lab and don't you dare EVER come back!" Alphys' mother yelled furiously at her, crushing her own cell phone in her hand with rage.
"Um...Mom? MOM?! GODDAMNIT, SHE FREAKING HUNG UP!" Alphys cried miserably into the phone, tossing it onto the floor in frustration as she curled up into a little ball on the floor and weeped gently into her elbows...when suddenly, a brand-new message showed up on her Gmail!
"OH GOD, IT'S FROM ASGORE!" Alphys gasped in terror as she opened up the letter and read it. "Dear pesky lizard, your recent actions have disgusted me so deeply that I am very seriously considering moving you into my school's behavioral management center (if not straight-up juvenile prison) for the next MONTH; if you don't want such a thing happening to you, then I would strongly advise giving your all in the science fair tomorrow, because if you don't make at least top three, then so help me, I WILL very gladly lock you up in BMC at the very LEAST. Don't you freaking DARE underestimate me, you wretched little SKANK! Sincerely, Asgore Dreemurr."
"Oh dear, I'd better get to work FAST! It's already, like, literally eight'o'clock at NIGHT right now! I simply cannot BELIEVE how insanely quickly time has flied by today!" Alphys gasped in shock as she bolted over to her lab's elevator and took it straight down into the basement of her lab; the True Lab, if you will.
"Alright, here we go! If nothing else will cut it for first place, then I might as well try THIS, regardless of what the results could potentially end up being! A scientist's gotta do what a scientist's gotta do!" Alphys told herself panickedly yet also unusually confidently as she sprinted rapidly through the massive, almost labyrinthine hallways of the place, with numerous data log screens flashing themselves on mysteriously behind her as she made her way into the massive bedroom, where all of her very clearly deceased new test subjects were gathered!
"Alright, let's see here...we've got Final Froggit, Astigmatism, Whimsalot, Shyren, Moldbygg, Greatest Dog, Least Dog, Equal Dog, Obnoxious Dog, Doggy, Dogarissa, Dogalee, Snowdrake's mother...and last but not least, exactly sixteen Vegetoids. And they're all dead, of course, because apparently my day hasn't already been f%#$ed-up enough as is!" Alphys sighed dejectedly as she got out her newly made Determination injector and injected each of them with it.
"Now let's just hope this works..." Alphys sighed with relief as she patiently stood and waited.
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"Hello there, Alphys! It's awfully good to see you again!" Snowdrake's mother laughed, attempting to wrap her wing around Alphys and hug her...but Alphys disapproved!
"EWW! For the love of God, you're literally a freaking reanimated rotten CORPSE! At least HUG me before you try sh#% like that, would you PLEASE?" Alphys ranted disgustedly at her.
"Oh, sorry...I, uh, wasn't aware...well, come on, little veggies, you guys need to washed too, right? Well, COME ON, then!" Snowdrake's mother giggled as she and her many, many Vegetoid friends headed off to the shower, dripping bits of their bodily matter onto the floor in the process and leaving a rather conspicuously obvious liquid trail behind them on the way.
"Umm...is that considered NORMAL for them to do?" Alphys asked Shyren and Moldbygg while the dogs pounced all over each other, making a huge ruckus and barking up a storm in the process.
"Well, obviously for Snowdrake's mother, since Hotland is, well, HOT, but I'm honestly not quite so sure about those Vegetoids, who are already WAY creepy enough as is!" Shyren shivered.
"Yeah, they're personally pretty freaking high on my list of people I wouldn't wanna go anywhere NEAR!" Moldbygg chuckled as Shyren teasingly hugged it. "NO! GET OFF!"
"Wait a minute...Alphys? WHAT IN THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO US RIGHT NOW?!" Shyren and Moldbygg screamed in horror as their bodies began melting together and fusing into one combined eldritch mass (or should I say, MESS) on the floor while the dogs did the same.
"BARF? ARW? YOOF? WARF? FOOB? KRAB? FOOW? FRA?" the dogs barked and yipped loudly in agonizing pain and discomfort as they all combined together into one big f%#&ing dog 9000.
"Goodnight, sweet prince, and flights of angels send thee to thy rest!" Final Froggit, Astigmatism and Whimsalot chanted in optimistic despair as they all rather less-than-honorably allied together into one big unit while Alphys gulped and trembled in fear.
"Umm...ehehe...so, uh...does this mean I'm not winning the science fair tomorrow or WHAT IN THE UNHOLY F%#&?!" Alphys stammered and laughed dementedly as the midway-amalgamated-together remains of (Snowdrake's mother and sixteen Vegetoids, Final Froggit and Whimsalot and Astigmatism, Shyren and Moldbygg, god-knows-how-many dogs) surrounded her!
TWO MINUTES LATER...
"Please don't eat me, PLEASE DON'T EAT ME, PLEASE DON'T F%#^ING EAT ME!" Alphys screamed in horror as she curled up into fetal position, trembled on the floor and sucked her thumb hopelessly while the Amalgamates edged closer to her...and closer...and closer...and-
"Hey, LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU F%#&ING...OH! OH, DEAR GOD!" Undyne gasped, covering her mouth with her hands in horror as the Amalgamates turned around and faced her, revealing just how utterly abominable and hideous Alphys' recent experiment actually really HAD made them!
"Umm...HI there, hideous freaks of nature!" Undyne stammered, almost sh#%&ing her pants as she saw the utterly horrific results of Alphys' experiments in all of their incomprehensible glory.
For starters, we had Snowy, which was basically Snowdrake's mother only with her crest having mutated into a living stick-figure body, with the hungry mouths of two equally creepy-looking Vegetoids replacing her eyes; just to put the icing on the cake, half of her entire body was literally threatening to melt itself right off of the other side at just about any second.
And then there was Endogeny, which was...a rather intimidatingly massive white dog with who-knows-how-many slimy, freakishly long tentacle-legs as well as an enormous, gaping, slime-oozing hole where its face should have been. Disturbingly enough, it was still pretty cute.
And then, of course, there was also Lemon Bread, which was...well, if its name was any indication, Lemon Bread was the slug-like body of Shyren's sister, only with an unnervingly gigantic mouth possessing slimy, black, moldy teeth, as well as piercing angry eyes that looked more than suspiciously similar to the end part of Aaron's tail. Not to mention...ahem...LEMON BREASTS.
Not to mention Memoryhead, which was...well, judging by its appearance, it was pretty much just a bunch of human skulls melted together, with freaking tentacles coming out of its many-eyed face for good measure. No one really knew exactly how this bizarre, unknown thing formed or why, but what Alphys did know was that it was incredibly ugly and probably had something to do with Gaster and his many, many scattered spiritual fragments of himself.
And of course, how could we forget the eight-foot-tall Reaper Bird, who was an Astigmatism's sideways head floating on top of a terrifyingly long detachable neck, with deformed pieces of Final Froggits for wings, as well what seemed to be an unusually long and stretchy pair of Whimsalot legs. To provide perspective on just how freaking tall it was, it could easily slam-dunk a basketball hoop literally ten solid feet off the ground without even jumping an inch.
"Um, I'm just going to turn around and LEAVE now, thank you very-"
"Oh, YOU'RE not going ANYWHERE!" Memoryhead laughed as he grabbed Undyne with his tentacles and threw her right on top of poor, poor little Alphys while him and all four of his AT LEAST equally creepy and disturbing eldritch-abomination friends licked her lips.
"Now you and your psychotic little bitch of a girlfriend can die TOGETHER!" Lemon Bread laughed, flagellating (in other words, whipping) Undyne and Alphys violently with her teeth.
"What's...the matter...are you scared...or something?" Snowy asked Undyne curiously as the melting half of her body leaned right into Undyne and began biting her head aggressively.
"Won't you come and PLAY with us?" Memoryhead cackled grimly as he disabled both Alphys' and Undyne's cell phones by unexplained radio-jamming means, reached out with his tentacles and began maliciously stripping off the defenseless and very underaged Undyne's clothing.
"WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?!" Reaper Bird laughed maniacally as he stretched his legs to an astonishing length of no less than four feet, extending out his dripping penis to match.
"AWOOOOOOOOO..." Endogeny howled with excitement, his mouth dripping and oozing with what could only be described as protoplasmic white goo as he pulled off Alphys' clothes with his legs...which, just between you and me, were more than likely penises in very thin disguise.
"WELCOME, UNDYNE...WELCOME TO MY VERY SPECIAL HELL..." Alphys shivered and cried in terror as she and her beloved, equally naked fish girlfriend huddled together and screamed for their mommies as the Amalgamates piled on top of them and raped them long and hard into the night.
CHAPTER 8 (FINAL CHAPTER)
THE NEXT MORNING, IN ALPHYS' LAB...
"Alright, you freaking horny little bastards, LET'S GO!" Alphys laughed maniacally as her pants-sh%#&ingly horrifying new eldritch-abomination pets melted themselves into compact liquid form and each squeezed into one of Alphys' conveniently-small-and-portable tube bottles, which she then immediately shoved into her interdimensional pockets and bolted off to school!
"Hey, don't forget ME!" Undyne yelled at her, following her out the front door of the lab and into the conveniently placed elevator that Alphys was now planning to take right up to school every morning!
"Alphys, are you really SURE that releasing the literal spawn of Giygas and Satan mixed together into the general public is a good idea? ESPECIALLY after what they did to us last night?!" Undyne stammered in terror, grabbing Alphys by the shoulders and shaking her frantically as the two of them stood reluctantly together in the elevator.
"I HAVE NO IDEA!" Alphys laughed maniacally as the elevator finally reached its destination on the top floor of Hotland, prompting her to immediately take off running at full speed while Undyne grabbed onto her tail and was forcefully dragged along by various combined inertial forces.
"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" Undyne yelled repeatedly in discomfort as her body violently clattered against the ground on the way to Alphys' destination...the school, of course!
A FEW HOURS LATER, AT THE SCIENCE FAIR IN THE SCHOOL AUDITORIUM...
"Greetings, ladies and gentlemonsters, and welcome to this year's annual Science Fair at MTT Middle School!" Asgore politely greeted the audience, waving at them awkwardly and sweating a little while the contestants patiently waited behind the curtains of the massive stage.
"Alright, so, first up, we have Muffet's...experiment...uhh, Muffet, I have something very important to ask you, and I'm going to need you to listen here, alright? What in the name of Jesus Christ himself is THAT supposed to be?" Asgore asked confusedly as Muffet (who was now skinny again, one slap at a time) walked out onto the stage and presented a rather frighteningly big jar of sickly blood-red fecal sludge to the audience, cackling with delight.
"I call it my Jar Of Bloody Diarrhea! If you've ever found yourself looking for something DELICIOUS to feed to some of your more horrifyingly disgusting and gross pets, then look no further than HERE, folks!" Muffet giggled, winking at the audience with no less than a combined three total of her eyes and waving her hand in front of her face as if someone had just farted.
After a long stare-off between her and Asgore, Muffet meekly responded with "Umm...well...I guess it could also be used as, like, some kind of fertilizer or something like that...ehehe..."
Needless to say, Muffet was unceremoniously thrown right out the back door and pelted with her own jar (which then shattered on top of her, splattering her with her own bloody refuse) by Asgore.
"And now for our next two contestants, THE SKELETON BROTHERS!" Asgore cheered as Sans and Papyrus walked out onto the stage, with god-knows-how-many rabid fangirls rooting for them in the audience as they wheeled out an oven with what looked to be an extremely lame and generic baking-soda volcano (that was curiously situated in a small metal pot on top of the front-left burner of the oven, with the cooking temperature set to MAX) onto the stage.
"Oh, go ahead, let me take a WILD fricking guess what THIS one is..." Asgore groaned, rolling his eyes and facepalming himself from a combination of Sans' laziness and Papyrus' naivety.
"Trust me, this isn't what it looks like!" Sans explained, grabbing a conveniently placed bottle of olive oil right off of the table while Papyrus grabbed a conveniently placed box of wet linguine.
"Although this might at first appear to be nothing more than your average everyday baking-soda volcano, FEAR NOT, for I, the GREAT Papyrus, have added an astonishingly unexpected and totally-not-predictable TWIST to it, if I do say so myself! NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus laughed arrogantly as he poured the wet linguine into the volcano and grabbed a nice big jar of classic-style spaghetti sauce while Sans poured in half the entire bottle's worth of olive oil.
"Although it may look relatively dormant and harmless at first glance, this volcano is anything but! In fact, if and when you do end up adding the sauce into it, with the powers combined, it becomes CAPTAIN VOLCANO! GOOD GOD, PAPYRUS, TURN THE OVEN OFF NOW!" Sans screamed and howled with laughter (and pain) as Papyrus poured the sauce into the volcano, causing it to violently erupt massive noodly flumes of boiling-hot red liquid all over both of them!
"So basically, it's just another stupid volcano except with spaghetti instead of baking soda?" Asgore groaned, rolling his eyes and facepalming himself in utter disappointment.
"TEN OUT OF TEN! BEST FREAKING EXPERIMENT EVER!" Asgore laughed maniacally as something deep in his brain went off and (for whatever reason) apparently told him that taking one of THE most dull, generic and boring science projects in existence and slightly modifying it to make it even stupider was somehow one of the most amazing goddamned things ever.
MEANWHILE, DEEP INSIDE ASGORE'S BRAIN...
"WHAT? I can't have a LITTLE fun every once in a while too?" Gaster chuckled as he fiddled around with Asgore's behavioral control systems, unbeknownst to both Asgore himself and the audience.
"And now for what is probably one of the only things that could ever even HOPE to outclass such an astonishing masterpiece...ladies and gentlemonsters, give it up for ALPHYS AND THE AMALGAMATES!" Asgore cheered as Alphys walked out nervously onto the stage, reached into her pockets and pulled out her tube-bottles, systematically dumping each one onto the floor.
"How does it feel to know that Gaster isn't even the only one of himself out there, MY CHILD?!" Memoryhead laughed trollishly as he stripped Frisk naked with his tentacles and publicly raped him.
"ARF! ARF! AWOOOOF!" Endogeny barked as he lovingly curled his massive, bloated, androgynous, twenty-four-legged body around Temmie and snuggled adorably with her.
"MMM...SO...YUMMY...FEED...ME MORE..." Snowy moaned with delight as Burgerpants magically threw god-knows-how-many mass-produced cheeseburgers into her mouth(s), somehow causing absolutely no sign or occurrence of any weight gain whatsoever.
"You are what you EAT, am I RIGHT?!" Lemon Bread chuckled as she painfully chewed on Catty with her slimy, moldy, gooey teeth, then passed the poor cat into her stomach, raped her with a myriad of digestive tentacles, and finally shat her out (coated in black slime) onto the floor.
"OHH, man, TALK about TALL tales!" Reaper Bird chortled incessantly (and probably somewhat incestually as well) as he wrapped Undyne up in his loving wings, extended himself WAY up into the air, and then proceeded to violently shove his bendable, infinitely stretchable erection into Undyne's butthole, all the way through her digestive system, out her mouth, through her cleavage, and then finally into her vagina (which, of course, had barely even developed yet).
"Aren't they just BEAUTIFUL?!" Alphys laughed maniacally as the entire audience ran away screaming while Asgore hid behind the curtains and trembled in terror, pissing himself with fear and dialing 911 in hopes that maybe, just maybe, the police could somehow save him.
(Needless to say, Alphys won the first-place ribbon, but definitely not for the right reasons.)
"I won...I WON...I F%#&ING WON! AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...HA...HAAAAAAAAAH!" Alphys rolled on the floor laughing and crying hysterically like the absolute maniac that she pretty much was at that point, then finally collapsed face-down onto the floor and miserably sobbed herself to sleep as a whole multitude of police officers surrounded her from all directions and handcuffed her.
ABOUT AN HOUR LATER IN NEW HOME WHERE ASGORE AND HIS DEARLY LOVING WIFE TORIEL LIVED, AFTER ALL OF THE AMALGAMATES HAD BEEN RETURNED BACK TO THE TRUE LAB FROM WHENCE THEY CAME, AND ALPHYS HAD BEEN SENT TO JAIL...
"Oh dear lord, I can't believe that the writer actually somehow forgot to mention that you've been PREGNANT all this time!" Asgore gasped in amazement and surprise as he looked underneath the bedsheets of the king-and-queen-sized bed that the two of them were laying on together in the master bedroom and saw the conspicuously sizable bulge in Toriel's chest!
(Luckily, the pregnancy cycle for monsters was WAY faster than that of humans.)
ABOUT A MONTH LATER, AT THE NEW HOME CITY HOSPITAL...
"Come on, honey, push, push, PUSH!" Asgore eagerly encouraged and motivated Toriel as the poor woman laid atop her patient bed and tried and tried with all of her might to push out her new baby while several doctors and nurses politely supervised and assisted her.
"AHH...FINALLY!" Toriel sighed with relief, blushing a little as her adorably small and fluffy new lop-eared bunny-rabbit of a baby finally popped out from her va-jay-jay and cried so cutely that it just about literally (but not quite) made the assistant nurses' and doctors' hearts melt.
"Aww, it's so cute, what gender is it?" Asgore asked one of the assistant nurses as Toriel wrapped her newborn baby up in a warm and tender blanket and cuddled it lovingly in her arms.
"IT'S A BOY!" the nurse informed Asgore and Toriel as the two of them both squealed with absolute delight at how soft and huggable their new child was as he wailed "GOATMAMA! GOATMAMA!" and nibbled intensely on Toriel's finger with his chubby little kitten mouth.
"So, uhh...what do you think we should call it?" Asgore asked Toriel while Alphys, who had just recently been released from prison as her eternal reward for causing such an unbelievably adorable little cupcake (not to mention the next official member of the royal Dreemurr bloodline) to become born into existence, nonchalantly walked into the room as if nothing ever happened, immediately squeeing at the top of her lungs and nosebleeding from how ridiculously cute the baby was.
"ASRIEL! Just like what we used to call our relationship with each other back in our high-school years!" Toriel giggled and blushed as she lifted her heart-rendingly cuddly and huggable little cotton ball, I mean, baby, into the air and lovingly kissed it right on the bottom!
"Ain't I a STINKER?" Alphys teased Asgore as she leapt up into his arms, curled herself up into an adorable little ball just like the one that Toriel's new baby was curled up into (and squeaking happily like a little newborn bunny, of course, because why?) and smooched him on the cheek.
"Well, I guess THAT'S ALL FOLKS!" Alphys, Asgore, Toriel and Asriel laughed, waving merrily at the audience as the screen was reduced into a single circular window showing Alphys winking sassily at the audience, then finally, at long last, faded to black! THE END...?
(screen reopening)
"Heh, I sure do wonder what ALPHYS' and UNDYNE'S babies will end up looking like!" Asgore playfully teased Alphys, causing her to suddenly freeze dead in her tracks with quite possibly THE most terrified look of her entire life in her eyes as she suddenly began vibrating intensely with fear!
"GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Alphys shrieked at the top of her lungs in terror as she bolted right out the front door of the hospital, ran out into the street and got hit by a truck. THE END.