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Adulthood as defined by our society can be loosely categorized into two different types: Social adulthood, which simply requires that an individual reach the age of majority, and Biological adulthood, which is attained when one becomes able to sexually reproduce. Unfortunately, neither of these two standards can be applied to chimeras as easily as they are to humans. This is because all first, second, and third generation chimeras are products of both social and biological programming. In essence, they have been engineered to reach both physical and mental maturity at a rate that far outstrips that of their human counterparts. This of course presents a problem for all future generation chimeras, as without a viable system of support to facilitate proper emotional development, they may find themselves at the mercy of the standards used to measure maturity in humans, and if unable to cope with the social pressures created when forced to conform to that standard, develop a higher risk of manifesting both physically and mentally unstable personalties in their later years. Addendum. Further observations of this unique social phenomena when applied to Genetic Anomaly Four-Five-Two indicates that the possibility of a third form of adulthood actually exists: A cultural one, that reflects both the values and the ideals inherent in the cultures into which chimeras are first integrated.

B.O.D. Report # TDM

Chapter Twenty Seven : Confessions of a companion and confidante.

A fearsome exterior that serves to hide a fragile heart. Thought Midnight as she wrapped her arms around Kato. Drawing him in close she began to purr as she listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Here is someone who has been beaten and abused, and yet still he struggles to go on. How many others can lay claim to that kind of strength? "Midnight I . . ." "It's alright Kato," Whatever else he had been about to say was lost as she rested her head against his chest. "Whenever you're hurt or in pain, tears can be healing." Seeing it as an invitation to reciprocate, Kato hesitated for only a moment before he too wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you." Feeling the tension in his shoulders flow out of him, Midnight smiled. There was now a quiet strength in his embrace, a subtle difference that spoke volumes about the true nature of his character. Here is someone who would sooner die then violate a woman. Who would fight to protect everything within his reach, so long as he could lay claim to it as his own. Midnight purred. A true tiger in every sense of the word. Reaching out to brush aside a single strand of soft silver hair, she suddenly found herself staring into eyes the color of pale ice, and seeing herself reflected there, felt something all too primal stir to life inside her. Suddenly, she wanted to be the one to mark him with her scent, to make it clear to all other's that she belonged to him, and he to her. It was an instinct as old as the world itself, and undeniably powerful. Responding unconsciously to a thousand subtle signals, Kato rose to his full height. With the water matting down his fur, and the way his muscles were moving just beneath the surface of his skin, it was even easier for her to see the contours of his body, the shape and definition that served to compliment his form. Feral, predatory, dangerous, Kato had all the carefully cultivated qualities of a wild beast that had been kept in a cage for far too long. Though those qualities marked him the most whenever his anger rose to the surface, underneath the calm aura he had sought to project, was the kind of cruel perfection that only occurred through careful selective breeding, or random genetic chance. Radiating sheer animal presence, while staring at her with a barely suppressed hunger, a need that was in every way a twin to her own, it seemed as if an eternity passed between them before Kato even seemed able to recognize her at all. It was something Midnight had seen often enough to know it in an instant. What woman wouldn't? Especially when working a profession as old as time. The other had been watching her through his eyes. Made up of the instincts they all struggled with, the hidden desires they all felt. The other was a powerful driving force, and an impossible one to erase. Because it was connected to the side of their psyches that responded to impulse, Midnight knew that being a chimera meant more than just looking like a animal on the outside, it meant learning to act like one on the inside. And sometimes, pretending to be human was all they were able to do. "I'm sorry," Kato said at last. "Its just, I'm finding it hard to understand. How can anyone do what you do? How can anyone risk giving themselves to so many? There's already so much pain, so much suffering in this world of ours, that I hate myself for knowing, that no matter how hard I try, there will always be someone that I can't protect." "Someone important to you was used as a prostitute, and not by choice weren't they?" Kato could only nod as he began to feel the weight of memories long buried pressing in around him. "My mother Sasha . . . she used to be a companion. She used to tell me, that all she had ever wanted in life was to be a dancer, so that she could make people happy." Sighing as he remembered the way she had used to move, some of his fondest memories were of the times when she had reenacted the grand performances of her life, while telling him in great detail about all the people she had met and the things that she had seen. "You might even have heard of her, Sasha Destrov?" Midnight shook her head no. "Well, either way she was amazing to watch. She used to show me things that I would never have thought were possible. She even managed to teach some of them to me. When she could get me to sit still long enough to pay attention anyway." Kato sighed. "But then the handlers . . . they would come and take her away sometimes, and whenever she came back; all she could do was cry." She never told me what it was they were forcing her to do, He thought to himself. But I knew, all along I knew. Forced to serve as a breeder, unable to find a mate who loved her, it had been easier for everyone involved to just live as if it had never happened. Easier, but not better. "Love shouldn't be like that." Said Kato with all the innocence of a child. "Love should never cause anyone so much pain." Kato . . . Making up her mind then and there, Midnight started to purr as she began to run her tongue along the underside of his jaw. Unsure of what to do or even how to respond, Kato simply held himself motionless. Enduring Midnight's attentions in stoic silence, he struggled with his desire to shy away from being touched; to see it as the invitation to claim what his heart told him he wanted. Or worse, what his mind was telling him was being offered. No, Said a voice as soft as a sibilant hiss. This is all wrong. She's offering herself to me. To me. As if a great white tiger were pacing endlessly inside a cage made of glass, the part of himself that was anything but human started to let itself be heard. And all I have to do is overwhelm her with strength. I did it once before. In the darkest reaches of his heart, Kato started to see himself for what he truly was. And this time, she won't even consider trying to resist. A beast. Fuck you. Sending the thought off like a shot from a gun Kato wrested control away from the other half of himself. I never want to feel that kind of pain again, I never . . . "Your afraid aren't you." Said Midnight. Watching him wrestle with his inner demons she was beginning to understand. "Your afraid that if you allow yourself to love someone, that you'll only end up causing them the same kind of pain you feel now." When he closed his eyes and refused to look at her, Midnight took his silence for assent. "Kato, even if you can't protect everyone, sometimes, its enough just to be able to hold out your hand, and offer comfort to those who have been hurt." Is that how Midnight sees me, as some kind of wounded animal? Without ever needing to hear his feelings spoken aloud, Kato knew them to be true. Refusing to trust people simply because I've been hurt, lashing out at them because I'm afraid of being hurt . . . that's no way to live my life. Kato suddenly heard Phoenix's words echo inside his mind. "You don't have what it takes to go Cyberside." And she was right too. Because if I'm so afraid of putting my trust in a stranger, my life in someone else's hands, that I push everyone else away. Then there's no way that I'll be able to go Cyberside. The way that I am now, I would have died before I even began. Kato looked at Midnight. Despite the fact she had been sent by Zane to test him, to illicit information from him, she was reaching out to him, him, despite the darkness she had seen inside his soul. Here is someone to whom I have revealed my darkest secrets, he thought to himself. And who did not turn away. Here is someone with whom I can begin. Taking hold of the hand that was being offered to him, Kato said. "Sacrificing oneself for others, the willingness to defend others and the desire to protect others, no matter what the reasons, those can all be considered good things. But even more important, is the ability to care for others. For compassion carries within it its own strength and those who are able to heal another's heart, are the one's who are truly strong." "The mantle of a hero. A quote taken directly from Legends of the Twilight Kingdom." Surprised to find someone else who could quote it Kato said. "You've read it?" "Mmhmm." Drawing him in close Midnight said. "I particularly like how the author uses his characters to address the issues surrounding the differences existing between the races. Humans, elves, even werewolves, because they were all forced to face the darker parts of themselves, in the end, they were able to become stronger because of it." Wisdom, beauty, intelligence. Whispered the part of his mind that was all animal. What more could I ask for in a mate? A mate yes. A lover maybe. But someone I could spend the rest of my days with? Kato's thoughts turned to Lady; and from somewhere deep inside himself, he felt a distinct sense of approval. Still . . . is it wrong of me to desire both of them? To want to share a part of myself with both of them? And which side of me thinks that that thought is wrong? "How strange it must seem to you." Said Kato. "That here I am, sitting next to one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen, and I find that I have more in common with a character in a story, then with the people in my own life." "Not as strange as you might think." Said Midnight. "For myself, I have always felt that, even if we aren't human, that even if we do live in a world that has been built specifically to accommodate the needs of humans, we must still learn to co-exist. Both with humans, and with ourselves. Because in time, when we live in the world that will be built by both humans and chimeras, if we don't learn how to understand one another now, then we may never be able to live together." A world where humans and chimeras can live together. How many generations would it take for us to forget the pain that they have inflicted upon us and begin to move forwards hand in hand? Watching as the ripples created by Midnight's tail flicking back and drifted across the surface of the water, Kato said. "I think I'd like to see it, the kind of world that we could create together I mean." "We'd need someone strong," Said Midnight idly. "Someone who wasn't willing to let a little thing like past prejudices keep them from creating a bridge between our two races." "Someone willing to put aside prejudice." Said Kato. "How ironic. My sensei once said something similar to me." Talking to Midnight, Kato began to feel as if he were slowly coming closer to grasping the truth, and yet in spite of everything he had recently realized, he still felt as if he were missing the last essential piece. It was something vital, something that would make the picture complete. "I guess you could say, that because of the need for someone who can create a bridge between our two races, the existence of someone like me really is a necessary evil." Reaching out to stroke him behind the ears, something about what he had just said made Midnight hesitate. Zane once told me that the science that went into creating chimeras wasn't perfect, that despite the companies continued efforts to correct the process, anomalies can continue to occur. Frowning as she studied the structure of Kato's face she thought. For two people to have come from two completely different worlds, and yet still reach the same conclusion. Is it really just a coincidence? Or is there something more? Something even I don't know about? "Midnight," Said Kato, interrupting her train of thought. "What are you thinking about?" "Oh, nothing in particular. I just found myself wondering if your father was a member of the companion class as well." It wasn't quite a lie, but there was still enough of the truth in it to make it seem plausible. "They're often chosen based on looks. And its not unusual for them to be selected as breeders too." "I wouldn't know." Said Kato. "I don't know anything about my father. In fact, I've never even met him. And even if I did, then I'm sure he would be just as surprised to meet me." Midnight could only blink as the full weight of what Kato had just revealed dawned on her on its entirety. "Do you really mean to tell me . . . that no one has ever taught you how to understand your own instincts!" "No." Said Kato. Surprised by the sudden vehemence in her voice he added. "Why? Was somebody supposed to?" "Yes! Mother's teach their daughters, father's teach their sons. Even if it is only briefly, contact with our parents is essential. How else are we supposed to learn to understand the things that we feel, to control the things about our selves that no human can ever hope to comprehend?" Seeing anew the child who had been robbed of his birthright, Midnight felt a need to reach out to Kato, to help him understand who and what he was supposed to be. After all, wasn't that was the true duty of all companions, to help those who were lost find their way? "Kato, as chimeras, we have wants, needs and desires that humans don't. They didn't intend to give us instincts, but still, they are an essential part of who we are. You've felt them before haven't you?" Kato nodded. "Whenever I see a woman that I find attractive, my heart starts racing like crazy, and all I can find myself thinking about are ways to impress her. And then there are times when I've wanted to rub the pads on my hands on everything, so that I could mark it with my scent. But I . . . I always thought that that was something we had to figure out for ourselves. That our instincts were something we had to suppress." Struggling to put what he was feeling into words, Kato said. "At least, that's what I've been trying to do." With a weary sigh he added. "Though there are times I admit, when it hasn't exactly worked." "You mean, all this time . . . I've been speaking to you in a language that no one has ever taught you how to understand?" Saying it more for herself then for Kato, Midnight began to understand where so much of his reluctance to respond to her was coming from. "I, I guess so." He said. "I mean, I thought you were doing all those things to, you know, entice me. I mean, I appreciate them all and . . ." Seeing the look of confused innocence on his face, Midnight began to feel more than a little foolish herself. "Very well then. In exchange for not rejecting me outright. I'll share with you a secret." And I'll even put it into terms that you can understand. "You asked me earlier how it is that I can do what I do. Well, for me, the reason is simple. I like sex." Watching Kato beginning to blush beneath his fur at the mere mention of the word sex, Midnight whispered into his ear. "The act, the sensation, the feelings that can only grow stronger as our bodies draw closer." Wrapping her arms around his neck she held him so that, even if he tried he wouldn't be able to get away. "And once I accepted that, I learned that some men, they simply find it easier to go looking for sexual release from a prostitute than from from the ones that they love. Men like that, they want the one's that they love to know that they're more to them than just a source of cheap sex. And then of course, there are those like me. The women who may never be content to be loved by just any man, yet still crave physical intimacy." Kissing Kato before he had a chance to resist, she wrapped her entire body around his and dragged him beneath the surface of the water. Her tongue tastes like catnip and cream. Thought Kato. And her hand . . . Stroking the area at the base of his tail, Midnight was turning what should have been for Kato a simple kiss into something infinitely more intimate. I wonder . . . is this what love feels like? As the first one to break through the surface of the water, Midnight licked her lips and said. "Such a serious expression you have on your face. Did something I do upset you?" "No." Struggling to catch his breath, Kato forced out a weak laugh. "Its just that, being near you makes me feel like I'm a fool. Am I really that naïve?" "Not naïve, just, a little inexperienced." Running her fingers through Kato's fur Midnight said. "Kato, your still young, and despite the hardships that you've faced, you've only just begun to realize that the world around you is a much larger place than you first thought it would be. "Now, standing on the verge of adulthood, you've begun to leave your childhood behind knowing only that the carefree days of innocence are coming to an end, and that a lifetime of responsibility lays ahead of you. And just like everyone else, you've desperately started asking yourself, if I'm supposed to be an adult, then what the hell do I do now?" Kato chuckled. "It does kind of seem like that, doesn't it?" "If it helps, then think of it like this. An adult is someone who laughs and has fun for the sake of making others envious of being grown. That way, the children around them learn that life exists to fulfill all desires." "That sounds an awful lot like stumbling around in the dark while wondering what to do to me." "Well," Said Midnight, "Even if all you do is end up stumbling around in the dark, then I suggest you just keep on searching, and maybe someday, you'll find your own answer." My own answer? Despite the different opinions afforded to him by the unique circumstances of his birth, Kato felt a strange longing to understand everything about himself, if only to see where he fit into the world. After all, if Morishita was the one who taught me how to be human, then maybe Midnight can teach me how to be something more. "If I just wanted to talk, or even play a game of Go . . ." Touching a different stripe for each word, she said. "We could do that too." Kato could tell from the tone of her voice that she would only consent to talking so long as they did other things first. Stepping out of the bath Midnight picked up a towel and said. "Kato, would you like me to teach you how to make love to a woman properly, or would you prefer to just spend the night fumbling around in the dark?" Watching as Midnight dried herself off, Kato sank deeper into the water, hoping it would help to hide his growing embarrassment. "I don't know. Fumbling around in the dark, kind of sounds like it could be fun too." Midnight noticed anyway and didn't care. "Making love to someone is just like any other skill. It must be practiced to be mastered." Flicking her tail invitingly she said. "And what better way to express your love for someone, than learning to do it well?"