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Chapter 11: Failure point

My teddy bear was talking to me.

"That's very good. Now, take a nice comfortable position. Maybe sit like a doggie?"

His voice was steady, calm, and reminded me oddly of Dr. Bernards, though the tone and timbre were off. I would have thought the Soothers were making me hallucinate except for the strange sense of deja vu. That and the warm sense of calm ebbing through could have been from the soothers too as well, or just the part of the dream where the teddy bears soft paw started petting my ears. I didn't remember taking the sit position, or being in a not sitting position, but in the way of dreams suddenly I was.

"Such a good girl" the warmth intensified, and i started swaying a little with my tail. He leaned forward and wrapped a soft pink blanket around my shoulders and pet it up and down leaving a slight tingle going down my spine to my tail. A sudden rush erupted between my legs, pooling before starting to spread. He smiled at me, cooed at me, brought my paws forward and lifted my hips and tail so i was squatting down The warmth came faster , spreading to the bottom of my rump and under my tail.

"Pay that no mind, except to enjoy it a little. Such a sweetie, you're doing great". I didn't know what I was doing, but I was happy he was happy and my tail showed it. He tugged on the blanket a little, draping it around me down my arms, over my padded rump and down my legs so that i was wearing it.

"There. Nice and cozy and warm. Much better than catching a chill isn't it?" the bear hummed a few notes, and I slumped over, nodding. "A quick little nap before you need to wake up.."

"Wake up, come on sleepy head. Time to get up." Nurse Lily's hand was shaking my padded rump, pressing the cold, squishy garment against me. I tried to open my eyes and will myself awake and immediately regretted it. I flattened my ears and winced at the headache, putting my paws over my head and trying to hide back under the blankets. My head was pounding like that night I'd proven to my friends that I could drink an entire bottle of sorghum wine and still walk home. But just because I could didn't mean that I should have.

"I'd let you sleep in but..." when i put my paws over my ears she quieted down. "we need to get some liquids in you" The bottle that was plopped into my maw was cold, sweet, and delicious. Trying to drink it right after time as my lips decided they wanted to drink it got a little bit of liquid down my windpipe. The nurse quickly turned me about and patted my back a few times. "Slowly sweetie..." she handed me the bottle, sat me in her lap and started to pet my ears. Great. I could make a jellyfish produce human insulin, * earpet * and here i was having trouble working a baby bot...* earpet * mmmmmmm

"Good girl" I felt like a wrung out rag as she lowered me onto my belly."Just need to get your temperature hon" she laughed when I lifted up my tail "I think ears will do, now that they're not all stopped up" she gave the black triangles a pet and slid the cone inside. "Small puff of air..." she warned and the pressure suddenly increased She repeated the process on the other side and tossed the scopes shield and some gunk into the trash.

"Better?" she asked, and I nodded, shaking my head a bit to readjust the equilibrium. Once more picked up, my bottom was patted "Omf. you are absolutely drenched sweetie. It's good Luna got that much into you, but let's get you in a bath okay?"

My reluctance to take a bath seemed almost instinctive, but the squishy weight between my legs, the rivulet of encrusted snot running from my nose to my bellybutton down the front of my pajamas, and general tiredness let my brain side with sense. I held my arms up to be helped off the table but wound up being carried out of the room and down the hall. She noticed me wincing at the bright lights and kissed the top of my head where the fur was thick and stiff. " We'll get you something for that in a second" the doors opened as we past, and i was soon sat on a seashell shaped changing table.

"How do you like the sleeper sweetie?" she asked, stroking a hand down my back over the fuzzy fabric. I leaned into the pet and the nurse smiled, making my tail wag. "Good" She stripped me down to the padding and then out of it, paying no attention to the fact that i was naked while she plopped me in the tub. To her it was no big deal that my lack of malehood was on display, so it helped make it feel like it was no big deal. Just another child taking her bath. She posed me this way and that, lifting my arms, spreading my legs, and thoroughly scrubbing against the grain of my fur with a soap laden sponge, asking me to help her and praising me for doing so. When she told me to open my muzzle I did so without thinking, only half surprised to find my maw filled with the spicy taste of a Soother sausage.

"For your headache hon" she said, giving my ears a pet. I nodded, and leaned forward to lap a stream of water out of the dragon headed fountain, which went cold as soon as the AI realized what i was doing.

"Oh..." the nurse giggled into her hands,despite obvious attempts to hold it it.. "That..That is just the most adorable... can i save a picture of that sweetie?" The request made my ears flatten and tail tuck, but it was the least I owed her for getting the snot and other things out of my fur. I gave her a thumbs up, eyes drooping a bit as the receding headache, warm water and gentle ear pets left me nothing but a warm cozy bundle of drowned fluff.I awwed a little as the tub was drained, got a full force blast of water from the dragon's mouth to rinse me clean and got myself bundled into a hot fluffy towel like a lil fox burrito.

"Want to try the sleeper sweetie? " holding out a pink stars and moons themed sleeper, fresh off the presses. I shook my head and icked at the pink. "You can go outside for a little while if You're dressed in something warm like this." My ears perked a bit at that. The hospital was nice, but still I'd been inside for days. Well, technically I'd been inside for months, but I think only the last few counted. I put my paws up, and after a little turning, fussing, giggling and fumbling got zipped up into the jammies.

"Let's try this again shall we?" big hands wrapped around my middle and set me down looking in the big mirror at a cute baby vixen in a sleeper. I picked up a foot to look at the bottom, which was molded to my feet and besides giving some good grip, didn't feel like i was wearing anything at all. The pose left me a little unbalanced, but the nurses hands held me steady, and started petting my ears once both feet were on the floor. The fuzzy, black tipped tail tucked a little and waged slowly, swishing the padding back and forth a bit. It felt like a nice, reassuring hug, nothing to pay much attention to. Some of the other kids had to wear them too. The nurse stroked down my back, and the tail came out from in between my legs to wag a bit more vigorously.

The face looking back at me was familiarish now. I wondered how much was from me remembering myself as a kit and how much was altering my memory to fit my new face. The muzzle was definitely daintier, but the ears were the same shape and markings i remembered from class pictures, and the jaunty right fang sticking out was all me. My eyes were the same shade of gold they'd always been, vertical pupils slightly dilated from the soother. Out of habit i put my paws up on my snout to.. Do something.

"Whatcha doing sweetie?" the nurse asked

I huffed a little as i couldn't remember what, and shrugged my shoulders. She sat on the floor with me and pulled me into her lap, taking my arms by the wrists. She guided me to run my paws over my whiskers, my white chin, the muzzle, and then booped my nose. I heyed! And fell down into her lap, with my landing cushioned by the comfy padding around my bottom. She made me watch in the mirror as she guided my paws over the stiff fur on my head, my cheeks, the soft bellyfur under the fleecy sleeper, whispering each body part as she did so. She finished with my "fluffy wuffy tail", even though I teasingly flicked it left and right to keep it out of reach.

"Starting to feel a little more like you in the mirror?"

The little girl in the mirror looked absolutely adorable when she stuck her tongue out, but nodded.

"You're doing great hon. That definitely rates a little bit of ice cream. A tiny bit. And I'm going to steal a lick. Come on"

She took more than a lick, but fortunately the rest of the bowl was large enough that i didn't mind, especially after a sythburger , french fries, a strawberry shake, and a small plate of pickles I sat on my back, belly distended under the sleeper, sitting in the warm sun and watching a game of soccer upside down. Kiddults ran on a ceiling of grass with a ground of sky below clumsily kicking at a black and white ball, slowly relearning how to use their new bodies.

"Forget hungry like the wolf. Should be hungry like the fox. "She gave my belly a light pat and I let out a burrrrrp loud enough to stop the game for a second.

"Nice one Ronan!" Chuck called before being hit in the head by the soccer ball. "Ow hey what gives?"

"Burps aren't times out!" a girl called, kicking the ball away from him and towards the goal.

"No fair..." he yelled back, stumbling after her. A heavyset nurse marched out onto the field and carried him back by the arm, plunking him down on a bench and started shining some sort of scanner into his eye. "15 minutes time out"

"Wish I was in there" I complained.

"Give it a day or two. I'm surprised you're up at all. I heard you got your shots yesterday. As a rumor. I absolutely didn't hear you crying down the halls...

I heyed! Picked a pebble out of the ground and threw it at him.It arced almost straight up in the air and landed at my feet with a thud.

"You throw like a girl at least..." he teased and dashed off before I could find another rock. Nurse lily's hands wrapped around me and hoisted me into the air

"Good little girls don't throw rocks" she said sternly, wagging a finger at my nose. An instant shock of fear and sorrow and regret went through me, my lip quivering as I tried to stammer out an apology. "Don't apologize to me, apologize to Charles" and stood me on the ground, giving me the opportunity. I was so rattled by the nice nurse yelling at me that i fidgeted with my tail and stammered, but he just waved it off. "No problem. I had the rock coming, and Impulse control is the first thing to go last thing to come baACK!" and he was pelted in the head with the soccer ball, again.

"Apologies aren't time outs either!" Matthias shouted, getting the ball on the rebound. The nurse stroked me from ears to fur once, twice, three times. "Good girl" my tail wagged a bit as the fear and trepidation melted away as quickly as it had come now that everything was alright. "Let's get you to the good doctor. I don't want either of you getting worked up before your session"

"Breathe in. And out. Completely relaxed now. Completely obedient now. Put your paw on your nose. Very good"

I didn't remember putting my paw on my nose, but there it was. Dr Bernards small hand rubbed my ears left and right, speaking in a calm, sure voice while the other waved a watch in front of me.

"You're little again. It's very important that you learn to listen to adults. Not only do they deserve respect, but your emotions are very new to you. You can be a little impulsive. It's not your fault, but you do have to let the adults correct you and guide you, understand foxy?"

I nodded some. Even if i hadn't trusted the doctor on his word, the last few days had made it obvious this stupid baby brain of mine had a mind of its own.

"I know it's hard for you to talk still, but you can think. When you shake your head or nod, I want you to think "yes Dr. Bernard. Or no Dr. Bernard. Yes miss Lily. Or Yes Nurse Lily.

I giggled a bit. Of course there was no telling Nurse Lily no.

I was shown a viewscreen with a baby vixen sitting on a low examination table. Her big golden eyes, luscious mat of thick downy fur , and juvenile proportions made her absolutely adorable, so adorable that you wanted to snug her almost as much as the soft teddy bear she was holding in her paws without a thought. She wore orange fur, black "socks" of her own fur, and the thick white diaper between her legs with equal ease as if she'd never known anything else. A small child playing dressup as a doctor tickled her chin, making her giggle and slipped a pacifier into her muzzle, which she readily started sucking with the cutest countenance of relaxation and bliss ever seen on a viewscreen. The doctor helped her down off the lowered examination table, holding onto her wrist for a moment to slip a pretty cloth band with embroidered flowers on it.

The viewscreen shifted so that the vixy was a simplified green wired armature. I heyed a bit as and pointed as i realized I was going along with the doctor so easily, posing so adorably without a thought. The doctor shushed me and pet my ears. "Just a relaxation technique sweetie, like I showed you. You're doing very well, in a nice, deep, theta state. It feels pretty good doesn't it?" i nodded a bit, and leaned into the pet, bringing my thumb up to my muzzle only to be stopped by the pacifier. He took my hand away and had me stand with my arms out like the armature, touching my nose, bending twisting and posing. A little twinge went up my leg while i was bent sideways. I whimpered and looked at the doctor, the pacifier dropping out of my quivering muzzle.

"Awww it's alright. Something hurt?" I nodded. He guided me down to the floor and sat on the warm tiles with me, small fingers probing along my leg until he found the offending ligament and kneaded it a bit. "It's alright hon, you never have to do anything that hurts." he put on a too large glove with glowing blue circles and prodded my leg here and there, a ticklish sensation vibrating up and down the leg making me giggle. "Try to hold... meh, lost cause" and wriggled his fingers into my ribs until i fell over, looking up at the hand painted ceiling.

"Do I need to separate you two?" Doctor and Patient both gave Dr. Ockerman raspberries with a loud pbthtthths until he went back to his viewscreen.

"Play is as important to the mind as exercise is to the body. Or did you invent self exercising muscles while we were discussing Rona's new place in society?" Dr. Bernard took me over to a small stack of differently colored shelves and boxes of various sizes.

"Place the small green box on the small green shelf"

This did not seem like a very fun game.

"Come on, remember what I said about listening to the grown ups?"

I shrugged, picked up the box which was heavier than it looked and settled it in. The ladybug on the front popped out a bit and the shelf wouldn't slide home, but after a second of pressing and fiddling with the hidden catch right left left right it settled in with a rather satisfying click. I reached for the next box but had my paws held.

"The puzzle box is only half the game. Did i tell you to put the next box in?" making his voice rather stern.

I shook my head "No..." my tail tucking a little.

"Better. Now put the red box in the orange slot"

I picked up the red box and turned it so the fox carving was facing out and held it up to the slot but paused. Looking at the pieces i didn't see how it would fit with the other pieces, and why would the slot be orange if the box was red and... .

The doctor folded his arms and tapped his foot a little. I blushed a bit and quickly moved the box in. "Now the yellow one in the orange square" I had to hold the yellow and orange ones together to see which was which , then inserted it with a little click. I got an earpet and a "good girl" as a reward , which made me pout a little, but it felt so nice, warm, and fuzzy. He nudged me towards the large orange box "red slot hon" , which had to be lifted underneath. The box was a LOT heavier than it looked, and something inside it rolled around in all sorts of different directions , making it twist and turn in my paws when i tried to put it in. The stupid thing twisted in my stupid, weak little paws and fell to the ground with a loud crash. Feeling a cold , dead weight in my chest i watched myself pick it up to throw it across the room, only for it to thud barely a foot away. I reached down to pick it up and smash it again, and again and..

Found warm arms wrapping around me, pressing my arms to my sides.

"Shh.. alright, alright. You're allowed to be upset, but you can't hit and throw things. Come on, let it out. Let it out..

I tried to wriggle out of his arms, but he just kept rocking and petting me.

"I..mnot..i don. Stupid. Girl. stupid.court stupid skin ba..ahh ahhhhhh"

With my snout up to the air howling I cried about being turned into a girl, about being separated from my parents, about the unfair trial, about having half the planet think I was the worst thing you could be. I cried about crying, that i couldn't make.. My.. stupid.. Lungs.. Stop..."

"There we go. That's a good girl. Get it aaaal out. Get it all out.

I didn't want that to work. I didn't want it to make me feel better. I didn't want to be calmed down and soothed by warm, loving pets over my ears and cheeks, down my back and over my tail. I...didn't want to feel terrible anymore, but i didn't want.. This? Did I?

"That's a much healthier way for a ... kit to deal with frustration. Do you feel better now?" he rubbed one of his ribs a little and shifted me until i was on his lap, looking up. He signaled to Dr. Ockerman, who brought over a warm bottle of coca and placed it in my muzzle. I hid a bit behind my tail and started nursing, letting the cozy warmth flow into my belly and not caring one wit a few minutes later when it flowed even lower.

Once the cocoa on my muzzle was all that was left, Dr. Bernard sat me up and helped me put the box in, lifting one side, guiding my paws, and telling me about some of the twists and turns it needed to slide in. When a piece was too hard he made me ask for help, crossing his arms and frowning at me when I got too fussy. About three quarters of the way through, I was determined to give up. But he plopped a pacifier in my muzzle, and after a few protests started suckling it while we finished the box.

"Yay! You did it." the Dr cheered as the last piece slid into place. He gave me a pet and pulled me into his lap. "I'm sorry we had to do that sweetie, but i need to see how your prefrontal cortex is holding up. You did very well." He shifted my tail a bit so he could pull out a data pad, and raised his voice a bit so Dr. Ockerman could hear. " You test muscles to failure, same with emotional control. I wish I had better data to compare it to, but all I have are your old report cards. Your parents never really took you for counseling or psychological training."

I made a circle gesture with my paws, and after Dr Bernard's confused look, Dr. Ockerman hit him in the head with a typing sphere. "Oh. Right. Thanks." he caught the gently floating ball on the way down.

-Dad said psychology isn't a science. Mom thought your planet had weird ideas about boys and girls. Go figure.-

I huffed a bit as the ball censored out some of my more colorful language. Dr. Ockerman laughed so hard he snorted into the sleeve of his labcoat. The brain doctor in question pouted a bit.

"Well, some of your notes say that you had a lot of trouble getting frustrated with assignments, giving up or not working on them seriously because you were afraid what would happen if you couldn't do them to your satisfaction" I huffed and bristled my tail a bit. They weren't kidding when they said it would be on my permanent record were they? I wonder how many former teachers had been on the vid saying they'd always known I'd wind up in the criminal justice system...

"And everyone deals with that a bit when they get regressed. You got regressed a little further, so it will be worse. We'll help you through it this time around though, alright? We'll take it nice and slow. You've got all the time in the world. All the time in the world"

He put me on my belly and pet my ears. After a few minutes i calmed down to the point of almost being asleep. A gentle knock on the door preceded the heavy set nurse, who picked me up with a little help from the doctor. She gave my padded bottom a pat, and glared at the doctor a little, who shrugged and smiled.

"Erm.. i'm doctoring now I can delegate that?"

"We'll talk later." She said in a tone that dripped syrupy sweet venom. I giggled a bit as i heard the doctor gulp.

"She had a rough day and may need a little bit of alone time. See if you can get dinner sent to her room." he said in a voice that was trying to be quiet. Chuck hadn't been kidding about the volume control being the last thing to come back though. The nurse mmhmmmed. And whispered to me "I think the doctors trying to keep me busy so he can escape. What do you think?" and tickled my belly a little. I agreed, but my rumbling belly didn't.

One change, one synthchicken casserole, and one song played from my teddy bear later and I was out like a light, dreaming of Chuck and the gang sneaking into the room wearing a construction paper hat of all things.

"Your mission. Should you choose to accept it...find. Acquire, and devour the cookies. Should you be discovered, we will disavow all knowledge of you and your mission..."