FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 1 Xander PoV

Xander fell back into Sean's couch yelling over his shoulder, "Dog why are you taking such a long shower, guys won't want to dance with a wet mop."

"Xander, shut your muzzle," Sean barked back from the bath room, water still running, "...you're the one that gave me no information about the club we are hitting tonight."

"It's a surprise," He said snooping through Sean's tablet.

"Is it a themed bar," Sean asked shutting off the water, "do I need to wear anything special."

"Oh, it's themed," He said flipping through some of Sean's tiger and lion porn, "You'll love it, it's totally up your alley."

"Right up my alley," Sean said, shameless as he crossed their narrow living room to his bedroom leaving wet splats in his wake, "Oh Alpha, please tell me it's not Omega, I'm looking for a partner not a pup."

Sean's four toned fur, though not uncommon for a wolf, stood out in lighting changes. His broad black back and mostly dark brown front mixed into lighter brown with highlighted gray making him a new person in the dark.

The gray fur pooled near his muzzle and neck, then again at his muscular chest migrating down to trickle off midway down his thighs.

"Did you get your fur layered," he asked Sean.

"Sorta, just a trim," Sean said.

The layers to his fur make this black fur and this stupid mane so drab, I really need to get this trimmed, he played with the ruff under his chin then asked, "Not going to towel off? And what's wrong with a pup or kitten?" Or a little guy like me.

"Nothing just not my thing," Sean said.

"Hey," He asked leaning forward to set the tablet on the coffee table and sniffed the air for Sean's musk, "Aren't you more of an alpha then a beta at heart? Shouldn't you love a shorter guy?"

"I guess," Sean said standing in the puddle forming on the wood floor then glazed over for a moment, "It's just complicated with little guys, anyway my heart currently races for a strong guy that's you know my match."

"Well," He said, "no matter what you're smelling good muscle wolf, so you should get some tonight, are you going to dry off already or are you going as is?"

His muzzle fell, We made promises Sean, then Sean's full tail twitched snapping his attention back.

"I'm not getting arrested for public indecency," Sean said then eyed the clothes set out for him.

Why did you have to change, Sean?

Sean shook himself dry, "fine those can work, I guess."

His muzzle burned watching Sean grab the clothes, Why is he hanging out like that, did he clean it in the shower? I hope he didn't smell how horny I am, Alpha when will these feelings fade?

Sean's shit faced smirk told him that he noticed.

"So, you're dressing me too," Sean asked, "This is why two alphas can't date," then added more to himself, "So, many Alpha's want runting... it is disgusting, I'm no one's omega. You're not into that shit, are you?"

"Well, I'm not going to runt shame, some people want to be used, but I'm not an omega either. And I prefer bottom betas, though I just wish I was taller but whatever."

"Why did you grabbed these," Sean asked tilting his head inquisitively one ear raised, "I wear my camo sleeveless for the gym and the jeans are for yard work and to go hiking, they're too beat up."

"Shut up and put them on," He said standing up, "they complement your gray undertones. Otherwise everyone will only see your blacks and browns."

"Fine," Sean said standing there naked with a weird vacant expression, "Sometimes I forget you're shorter than me, and not a wolf."

"Yeah, I'm not the smallest," He said, "but I was the only one in my litter. I guess I got all the resources, your sisters must have stolen yours."

"I'm shorter than my sisters," Sean said, "and half a foot shorter than the average guy."

"Average guy meaning Wolf," He said, "you're not short."

Sean said, "If I was straight or into other wolves, everyone would assume I was an omega."

"Guess we both wanted to be taller," he said.

"You're not much smaller than me," Sean said, "you're like an inch shorter, right?"

"I'm five seven Sean," he said, "that's a few inches' difference, now put on your damn clothes."

Sean said, "I thought you were five eight, at the shortest, Well, whatever you're still kinda tall for a Border Collie, I've never seen your fur so long it's different it looks almost like you have a lion's ma-"

"Yeah yeah yeah," He said flushing again, Damn tease, "I'm a bushy giant for my people. Now would you get dressed."

"I can, I guess," Sean said stepping into his low-rise jeans, swishing his tail to settle into them.

"What do you mean, shorty," He asked unable to resist the jab.

"Dude," Sean said, "when are you going to move on?"

He sucked in a breath but didn't speak and neither did Sean for a while.

"So, mister average," He said checking on their ride share service's eta, "why don't you date the big strong wolves if you don't like the pups?"

"It just doesn't work out for me," Sean said.

He said standing, "Well, your Porn tells me big and muscly works out fine, so you're not mental."

Sean snatched the tablet up to check it and said, "Damnit how long have you known the password on this thing."

"Everyone knows your password," He said grabbing a coat, "heck this thanksgiving you might find you and your mom like the same porn."

"You are such a boner killer," Sean asked then winced, "Sorry man."

"Whatever... are you ready the rides nearly here?"

"Oh, I just need my wallet," Sean said trotting to his bedroom.

He watched his friends bubble butt disappear from view while texting the rest of the pack to make sure everyone would be there on time.

His phone buzzed, "Sean, the car's here."

"Coming..." Sean called from the bedroom.

"Phrasing," He barked back.

"So, what are we doing for dinner," Sean asked with a light jacket in paw.

He said as they headed out, "The club has a pretty good restaurant next to it, plus you can get into the club through the restaurants bar, I've gotten to know the manager there."

"Sweet I hate lines," Sean said and locked up their apartment. "So, what happened with that Doberman you went on a couple dates with, he was cute?"

"He had a girlfriend," He said, "I'm not bi enough to make that work, anyway, I didn't know, Netflix and chill became Netflix and super awkward."

"I'm sorry dog," Sean said, "hey maybe it'll be the next one."

"I guess, there's a cute little guy I've been talking too for a while on the apps."

"Maybe, he'll be the one," Sean said gently slugging his shoulder.

He paged the elevator, Or it should be the one that's never been.

"Xander," Sean said, "this thing is so damn slow let's just take the stairs."

"No, I can hear it's almost here," He said, "So the guy I'm chatting with is a cat... that's cool cause of your shots right."

"Just shower off after you get together," Sean said, "and keep it to his place, we should be good, allergies aren't worth it unless I'm the one getting some," then the door opened, "Evening ladies."

They squeezed into the nearly full elevator, a crew of Siamese took the space opposite the control panel.

Sean stood stoically by the panel as if alone, so calmly He could hardly tell if Sean breathed at all.

He let the girls continue their conversations, he held his questions for Sean, How do wolves do that, it's like they always need to be in control or just feel like they are. Either it's a wolf thing or Sean's just good at ignoring when people are into him, these ladies are reeking that come be my mate vibe. Is that how I smell to him?

"How long is the drive," Sean asked.

"Oh... less than ten minutes. At the most," He said coming back to himself.

"Hmm, don't know where that could be," Sean said, "there's too many places that it could be."

"Heading to a club guys," One of the ladies asked.

He said, "Yeah we are-"

"Dinner first then a club," Sean said, "but both locations are a surprise apparently."

They got off at the plush lobby, waved at the girls, and exited the building.

"Why did you cut me off," He asked.

"You were going to tell them," Sean said hunting for their ride, "or give a tip at least. It's a surprise remember, and do you want Randoms hovering around."

"I wasn't going too," He asked following the pin to where the Retriever car parked, "and I thought you hated surprises?"

"I do," Sean said, "but I like people keeping their promises, even unspoken ones."

He nearly scoffed.

While Sean got in the car after him then Sean asked, "Oh and is it just you and me or are others coming too?"

"Ken and Pence are coming," He said and checked his phone again as they headed towards First Hill, "don't know about Fred and Neal, other than that haven't heard from the rest of the pack."

"Are Ashley and Rachel able to come," Sean asked.

"They haven't been on," He said knees bouncing in his seat, "but they are having birth-pack issues."

"Really, like what," Sean asked, "I thought their families came to terms with their sexuality."

He texted the restaurant manager they were on the way, He said, "Rachel's mom and dad are claiming pack rights to try and annul the mating since it wasn't done in Washington."

"Those shiteaters," Sean said in disgust, "are they going to raise Ashley and Rachel's pups or just send them into the shelter system? I noticed the driver knows where we are going without you saying."

"Yeah, it's part of the Retriever app," He said, "I messaged the destination, and that it's a secret he knows not to tell you too."

"Mums the word for a regular," the driver, a male golden retriever, said.

Sean nodded then said, "Fred's a lawyer maybe he can help."

"Well yeah," He said, "but a corporate lawyer but you're right they should chat."

"Pack laws are so archaic and bureaucratic," Sean said, "they are what, six hundred years old or something... hey, are you my Hunting Wolf tonight or am I flying solo once we get where ever we are going?"

"I'm your Hunting Wolf," He said, "unless I'm on the dance floor, then your stag."

"Stag, Xander, come on that's rude," Sean said.

"Fine fine, sorry," He said and scratched his elbow, "I spent too much time with my grandpa and uncles on the farm, they were kind of Preyist and Speciesist, anyway if I find a hotty you'll be lone, 'wolfing.' Is that bigoted too?"

"Kind of," Sean said, "but you're a dog so it's not as offensive."

"I hate political correctness," He said.

Sean peered out the window then said, "Others hate when you use them for insults and assumptions. It's rude to point out their lack of privilege, it would be like laughing at a blind guy for being blind."

"True," He said, "I just wish everyone was raised in a way that didn't unknowingly offend others and all that."

Sean said, "Being willing to apologize and treat someone well is half the battle, but I know what you mean, it's like with Rachel's parents, they are unapologetically hateful."

"I want to do something," He said, "those two don't deserve this, but tonight is about having fun," They pulled up into a dim side alley with dumpsters and strewn garbage bags against the wall.

"Uhm, when you said up my alley," Sean said stepping around the garbage bags when he got out of the car, "I didn't think you meant a literal alley, and a dirty one at that."

"We're going in the side door," He said following Sean out of the car, "dude relax, this way."

The door opened and the smell of catnip wafted over him.

Sean froze behind him.

"What's wrong," He asked.

"I'm not sure I can go in there," Sean said.

"What do you mean?"

"It smells like... Uhm, Catfood," Sean said.

"But you love Catfood," He said checking his buzzing phone.

"Yeah, but I smell catnip," Sean said shifting from paw to paw.

"Are you allergic to catnip too dude," He asked pocketing his phone after sending, "here."

"Something like that," Sean said.

"Oh, no worries," He said, "this place is catnip-free-friendly, and you had allergy shots, come on, I'll get you an antihistamine if the smell sets you off."

He dragged Sean inside to a Chorus of "Surprise, Happy Litterday," That boomed across the bustling dining room.

"I'm confused," Sean said while people clapped, "my Litter was born last Wednesday."

"And today is Friday," He said, "the day everyone could come, particularly your sisters."

"Oh wow, they flew up," Sean said between hugs.

"All part of the surprise," He said, "you can't have your Litterday without your Litter."

Leaving Sean with his sisters and parents. Everyone led Sean the rest of the way into the restaurant and too their table. Sean glowed around his family, I'd kill to have that coloring, so unfair. He wandered over to the host, a cute and athletic four-toned Calico he met months back.

"Hey Paul," He said, "thanks for letting us use the side entry."

"Anytime handsome," Paul said pinching his cheek.

"What was that for," He asked.

"Because you're sexy," Paul said tail dancing to the music through the walls, "Are you going to ask me out. I'm off in thirty would you like to go dancing next door, after this birthday, that is if you're still single?"

His heart pounded, "Man if you need me to I can definitely help... so, you like dogs, didn't realize, uhm, the history between our kinds, I don't smell bad to you, do I?"

"I love dogs," Paul said, "that smell thing is bigoted crap, but don't expect me to be your pup, I'm all power kitten."

"Power kitten that's still a bottom, right?"

"Yes," Paul said winking down at his filling pant leg, "I see your 'big' into cats obviously, you seem to be looking for a little kitten play?"

"Yeah, I'd love to try," He said, "well if you can handle it, and I think you are just my size?"

"Don't make me purr at work, you still have my number, right?"

He nodded at Paul forgetting the restaurant and party.

"I'll see you after the party," Paul said, "go on back and you still have to work for it."

"I'm looking forward to it," He said, "you've been so helpful."

"I'm a helpful guy," Paul said with a wink then turned him around by the shoulders, " and if we click I might see what else I can do for you, now let's get back to our responsibilities and calm down this is a family establishment."

Paul briefly scratched above his tail in the perfect spot, before shoving him playfully.

He uncrossed his eyes then headed back to the party, peaking over at Paul at the front desk after Paul got back to work.

Pence, a Jack Russell terrier, waved him over, "Xander you have to help Sean, he is crashing and burning over there, or is just shyer than we thought." Pence's single brown patched eye rolled as Sean failed to go for the waiter's advance.

Sean uncomfortably leaned away from a handsome gym built panther refilling his water, and giving him I like Litterday boys look.

"God," He whispered back, his phone buzzed low battery, "he is hopeless that panther is being so obvious about it too and he is trying to get away the idiot."

"Yeah," Pence said, "he won't get any at this rate, I thought you said he had a thing for big cats?"

"He does I swear," He said, "I don't know why he never tries for one, he must get shy as hell around them, hunting wolf to the rescue, doot-Du-DOO."

"Good luck," Pence said leaning to whisper something to Ken his tall Yellow Lab partner.

He sat at his seat on the other side of Sharron, Sean's sister, I'll have to wait till we get to the club, not going to have a chance in here.

"Hey Xander," Sharron said, "how's work and life treating you?"

"It's going well," He said scanning the menu, "Sean and I get to work together on a project for city hall, my marketing firm got the bid for the new Species Equality project, what about you?"

Leaned down to him to hear better, then said, "Well, I just got asked to be Executive Financial Officer of the tech company I'm at, but I'm worried it will make it hard to have the pups Zach and I were planning for, plus mom and dad want to retire from being the alphas and are putting Zach and I forward as the next couple."

He placed his order with the waiter, Sharron as alpha wouldn't be that different from her dad I guess, then he said, "Hard yes, but pups would be worth it, your families coloring would be so cute on a pup or four."

"Oh, I don't doubt it," she said and sipped some water, "Zach and I would have adorable pups... the business world doesn't seem to care for parents that want pups. It doesn't matter who raises the pups, it's like they see you as a failed investment or that you don't care enough about the company."

"That's crap we have laws against that," He said.

"No," Sharron said, "we have laws against them taking provable actions against employees having pups, but you can't stop managers from doing things based on their opinions that they never share with anyone. Hey for all I know it might be something you work on with Sean."

The food soon arrived, Sharron got a Spicy Trout and he got the Glazed salmon. Sean still awkward around the big cats, so he ordered him a huckleberry mojito and a long island and asked the Panther waiter to make the drinks extra strong. It took two more before Sean acted normal or at least drunk around the hot panther.

Sharron asked, "You two didn't drive did you? I know my brother can drink more than a runt his size should be able too, but no driving."

"Oh, no we are getting a ride," He said. "I have a friend, Dave, who's a Retriever Driver."

"Ok good," she said then walked back to talk with Sean some more.

Everyone enjoyed the company and the food. If the night went to his plan and with a buzzed Sean, He would get him a cat for the night and be drunk so he couldn't hear what happened in the other room at home.

Chapter 2 Sean PoV

Sean couldn't stop smiling at everyone. His family and friends surrounded him for tasty food and someone kept sending him great drinkseach one had been a favorite. He didn't know if the Panther serving them got him them,Wouldn't that be nice the guy smells great, to bad nothing could ever come of it. Xander's such a great friend.

He got up to go to the bathroom then when he passedXander, he grabbed him from behind in a big hug nuzzling the top of Xander's head, "I love you dude, I hate surprises but you do them better than most. We are so Golden right now."

Xander batted him off, "Dude, I love you too, but now I'm wearing my drink."

He laughed at Xander's embarrassment as he weaved and swerved his way to the bathroom. Three tigers filed out when he got there, around his age, mid to late twenties. Two talked about sports, the White and the Golden tiger, but the Bengal missed a step making eye contact with him. Alpha he's perfect, and looks familiar. The tiger's heavy narrow striping with the dense visible muscle showing through his clothes. The coloration, construction orange blending to white, that made his heart melt and tail wag. At six foot two this Tiger would normally be too tall for him but he didn't mind this one. He waved at the Bengal and could smell the tigers embarrassed interest, I wonder how drunk I look, oh Alpha I must smell wasted, I am wasted... waste, waists, that tigers tail is attached to a sexy waist, he's staring at me do I know him or something. Damn you Xander why did you bring me to such a tempting restaurant.

As he entered the bathroom he heard one of the Tigers say, "Oliver, did you see that drunk CatnipQueen."

"Shut up you guys," another one said.

He stumbled his way to a urinal, muttering, "Fucking homophobic shiteaters," That wasn't the Bengal, was it?... no, he smiled.

He weaved trying to stay in between the porcelain walls of the urinal.

After stumbling back to the Litterday party Fred, Ashley, and Rachel needed to head out. Ashley had work in the morning and Fred planned to go over Rachel's case with her before they saw their lawyer again.

"Give me a big hug you wonderful people," He said crushing each one to him with near bone breaking enthusiasm.

Neal, a giant otter, planned to join them at the club, he loomed over everyone else near the door to give Fred, his Ram, a goodbye kiss.

He found those who stuck around then spotted Kens yellow fur hovering over at the side door to the bar ready to go dancing with his partner Pence.

He asked, "Hey Samantha, Sharron are you going to dance too?"

Samantha said, "We might, in a bit we want to chat at the bar or a table, you doing ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, we'll follow you to the bar."

The tall she wolves cut a path through the crowd everyone else followed bypassing the line.

While waiting for a bartender Samantha said to Sharron, "Ethan and I, well we aren't sure we believe in traditional mating you know, but it's not like mom and dad would be ok with that."

"I don't think I'm ok with it either," Sharron said.

Xander hopped and peered around the crowded bar tail wagging.

"I don't know," Samantha said, "if we get mated people will expect me to have pups right away, I'm just not ready for that."

"You know they expect a lot from us," Sharron said, "but you're probably safe since Zach and I are mated, with plans for pups, and set to be the next alphas."

He wanted to listen but Xander's twitchiness distracted him.

"Hey Xander, what's going on," He asked.

"Paul, the restaurant manager," Xander said, "wanted to go dancing and I can't see him, and my phone died."

"What's the worst they could do," Sharron said, He missed what Samantha said.

"What does he look like," He asked.

"He is a Calico," Xander said on the tips of his pads, "mostly white with mixed black, brown, and gold."

Samantha said, "They're the alphas, they choose if my mating exists or not, I can't be part of that, it shouldn't be up to them."

"Dude, he is sitting at a table by the dance floor and looking at you, wave at him then you can get your drink," He said.

"Sweet," Xander said waving his tail and arm into everyone around him.

"Dogs," He laughed at Xander.

"Worst comes to worst the system doesn't change," Sharron said, while Samantha place their orders.

"Hey Samantha, you're not getting mated," He asked, "I thought Ethan had asked you."

"He did and I said yes but, I wanted it to be civil only," Samantha said, while He placed his and Xander's orders.

"Nothing wrong with that, the pack law won't recognize when I mate, I can only have a civil mating." He said.

"Hey, if that ever changes let's renew our mating vows in the pack," Samantha said.

"That's a long way off from what I'm seeing," Sharron said, "And I thought you didn't believe in a traditional mating."

"I don't know, if they were accepting of Sean's mating I would be much more comfortable with the pack, and all that, the pack has done terrible things in the past and still does," Samantha said, "But a traditional mating ceremony would be great, it's just too expensive right now."

"So, you're backing a noble cause for a budgetary reason," He asked.

Samantha shook her head, "I can have as many reasons as I want."

"The pack does more good than anything, it's hope and stability," Sharron said grabbing her drink, "Anyway, I loved my ceremony, it was the celebration of my love for Zach, I want you both to have the same chance."

He grabbed his extra tall screw driver, hugged his sisters, then followed Xander to meet Paul. Paul's lean athletic form sat poised on his seat as if he didn't care if they joined him or not. He didn't have the same powerful grace to match a Bengal but carried himself well.

"Hey Paul, my phone is dead, I didn't charge it enough today, this is my best friend Sean, the Litterday pup," Xander said.

"Nice to meet you," He said staring his light green eyes to Paul's blue. He blinked slowly then looked away as if looking through Paul.

Paul Purred, "Such manners, Xander you're adorable and you're Catwolf friend here is welcome to dance with us, but it would be better if we could get someone to join him."

"All our friends here are partnered," Xander said.

"What about those pack females you were with," Paul asked, "I like wolves, and they are women and they seem strong."

He laughed, "Those are my sisters and I prefer males."

"Good they are way too tall for you, and you're too cute to be straight," Paul said, "let's dance and see who we can find."

"Well, there is Neal, he is dancing alone," Xander said pointing at the Graceful Giant Otter that seemed to need no dance partner.

Paul batted at Xander and his paws for them to follow him.

They maneuvered their way to their friends on the edge of the dance floor, then introduced Paul to Ken, Pence and Neal as best they could with the music.

When a techno Madonna remix came on the group got closer. Paul danced with agile grace, and Neal with fluid dexterity. Pence and his skill somewhere in between them and the other dogs. Xander and Ken as Sporting breeds, dance with no rhythm only the happiness to be moving, instead they jumped and bounced with joy. He had his half-finished drink but still had his glass in paw when Ken backed into him and knocked his elbow.

He nearly stumbled but a firm paw caught his back. Sadly, his unlucky cup shattered and a large area of the dance floor cleared like an oil drop on water.

He said, "Thanks man, I really-", the amber eyes of the Bengal inches from his nose, his heart skipped.

"Hi," the tiger said tail dancing.

"I'm so sorry about that are you ok," He asked.

The Bengal massaged his neck waving him off, "It's alright dude-"

The bengal stepped back and tensed up like someone had stepped on his tail.

"Are you ok, seriously," He asked.

The Tiger bare padded with the broken glass shards.

"Shit dude let me give you a paw, where are you sitting," He asked.

"Back near the bar, God why did I think it was a good idea to dance bare paw," the Bengal said gesturing at a Vixen in six inch heels, "even if the glass hadn't broken, look at those heels I'd be spiked to the floor."

"It's my fault I'm buzzed, I was about to start grinding on my partnered buddy, because I forgot who I was dancing with." He said helping the Tiger sit down, "I'm Sean by the way."

"I know who you are Sean, I'm Oliver we go to the same gym." Oliver said.

"Really? Crap, when I'm lifting, it's like I'm in my own little world," He said, How the hell did I miss this guy, then sat next to the handsome tiger, "What happened to your friends?"

"Oh... they headed out, did you hear them," Oliver asked.

"Yeah, but it's all good I heard what you said too." He said.

"Sorry about them, they can be barb-dicks sometimes," Oliver said.

"Hey, I'm the one who should be sorry, I bloodied up your paw." He said, "Is there still glass in it, should I get a first aid kit."

"Oh, nothing my socks can't fix, it's just a shallow but uncomfortable scratch across the pad." Oliver said putting his shoes back on.

"So, you noticed me, at the gym I mean," He said his paws going cold.

"Yeah you have a great body," Oliver said, the end of his tail sweeping back and forth like a Viperess body dancer.

Warming throughout He said, "I can't believe I didn't notice you, you're stacked."

Oliver let out a deep hearty laugh, "Well at least we have similar goals and standards."

"Yeah, do you," He asked, "Or would you like another drink?"

"Oh no, I'm fine. I should probably head home and get this washed." Oliver said indicating his cut paw.

"Oh ok," He said standing, Oliver stood as well but didn't quite make it upright.

"Shit," Oliver said thudding back to the chair.

"Ok, I'm getting you a ride," He said pulling out his phone.

"You don't have to do that," Oliver said.

"It's not a problem, I insist, my friend had me download this," He said, "if I did it right the ride will be here in two or three minutes, do you need to grab anything?"

"No it was all at my seat." Oliver said a feline smirk on his muzzle.

"What's up," He asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking you must have been raised to be an alpha." Oliver said.

"Sort of, I was the only male, but I was also the runt of my Litter, so no alpha role for me," He said, "I wasn't really trained for anything, I'm just me, well and when I came out to them it was like their expectations of never seeing me go anywhere were confirmed."

Oliver taken aback said, "Really, cats aren't like that everyone expects you to be independent, to be whatever you want to be, well as long as that's being a witness first that is. But I disappointed my parents too."

"I know when I was growing up I always wanted to be a big lion or anything bigger than I am, so I could be or do anything I wanted," He said and his phone buzzed in his paw.

"You still don't get too and it sucks being lonely," Oliver said.

"Our ride is here," He said helping Oliver stand up.

"Really you wanted to be a cat," Oliver asked as he hobbled to the exit, "I grew up in a close community but felt isolated just the same, I always wanted to be a wolf and to be in the Pack a community where everyone's family."

"Cats can join a pack now," He said.

"Gay ones," Oliver asked.

"No, they barely tolerate their own gay ones," He said, warming at Olivers admission, "But my friends are my pack now, and we all attend a community pack."

"That's really cool," Oliver said sliding into the Retriever Driver's sedan.

"Where do the two of you want to head," the Chihuahua driver asked.

"What's your street," He asked.

"Fifteenth and Pike Street," Oliver said.

"Wow we are pretty much neighbors," He said, "I'm three blocks down and two blocks over on twelfth and Spring."

Oliver's hearty laugh filled the car, "Meeting at the gym halfway I see."

"You said you thought about being a wolf as a kid where did you grow up?"

"Oh, I grew up in rural Montana," Oliver said.

"Oh, so you're a mountain lion," He teased.

"Damn right, farm kit right hur," Oliver said, "what about you?"

"I'm a coastal wolf with some European pack in me." He said.

"That explains your colors, it's very interesting," Oliver said.

He radiated interested musk like Oliver's, I can't lead him on, I'll just hurt him, but those pretty eyes, he asked, "so what brought you out west?"

"Oh, family drama and a close friend lives here," Oliver said, "I got offered a job in the area too, plus I didn't want to be the only gay guy in town... well that I knew about, and it's a fairly religious little town."

"So, you moved here to find a dude," He asked kneading his paws, We aren't on a date any expectations aren't my fault.

"Yes, and to meet other guys in my community, you know find a pack," Oliver said rubbing the backs of his digits against him.

He choked down a lump while his paw sent electric jolts up his arm where Oliver touched, "I-I know what you mean."

The car pulled up too Oliver's building. He got out and got the door for Oliver.

"Thanks, do you want a beer upstairs," Oliver asked.

He shifted from pad to pad and said, "I shouldn't, but I want too."

"No pressure, I've enjoyed getting to know you and would like to know you better."

"Well I guess I could come up for a little while, but I probably shouldn't," He said.

Chapter 3 Oliver PoV

Oliver gripped Sean's paw and said, "Please come up for a drink, I'm really enjoying being with you."

Sean's eyes, those lichen green puppy dog eyes, finally lost their uncertainty. In his excitement, He dragged Sean inside behind him.

"So, what were you up to at the Club, I've never seen you at Purr before," He asked.

"My friends and family were celebrating my sisters and my Litterday," Sean said sniffling.

"You ok," He asked as they got into the elevator.

"Oh yeah, I just need to blow my nose." Sean said, "What were you doing out?"

"I had two friends from back home, they are both straight and got weirded out that there were so many gays, non-felines and... other stuff," He said.

"Oh, where did they go," Sean asked.

"They went to a sports bar down the street." He said.

"Well at least they are having fun, sorry they ditched you," Sean said.

"It is what it is, Happy Litterday. Sort of sorry for kidnapping you from your party, but not really. I didn't realize." He said and ran his paw lightly against Sean's forearm.

"Well, I should get back at some point but, I do like you, I mean you seem nice," Sean said as they reach his apartment, Sean shifted and sniffled.

He tossed his key in a basket on a small table by the door and asked, "What type of beer do you like? And here is some tissue paper."

"Do you have Timberwolf IPA, and shouldn't we clean your paw," Sean asked.

He said, "Very good point, I'll get my first aid kit." He walked into the bathroom.

Sean hovered by the door. His heart raced he smelled Sean's interest but it mixed with anxiety, and the piney cedar smell all wolves and some dogs had, he didn't know what to do.

"You have a nice place here, what do you do," Sean asked.

"I'm a software engineer," He said, "Could you give me a paw for a sec?"

"Nice, that explains the modern place you have here, and what do you need," Sean asked.

"Well my joints are stiff can you see how it looks?" He lifted his left rear paw so Sean could look, while he balanced with the wall and towel rod.

Sean shifted about in the door way, when He looked over his shoulder, he smelt Sean's embarrassed surprise.

Remembering his interspecies non-verbal's class in college, He slipped a little reorienting himself and said, "That wasn't a submission."

Sean shuffled and said, "Maybe the couch would be easier?"

"Yeah, you're probably right," He said.

"Ok, where is a garbage can, and I'll grab the first aid kit," Sean said indicating his used tissue.

"Oh, under the sink, and third drawer on the right," He said regretting picking that can the second after he said it. His toys sat under the sink he hadn't moved them back to his room. He didn't want to see if Sean would find them so he shuffled off to the living room.

As he sank down to the couch, a bemused snort came from the bathroom, He said "unburied shit."

"So, you like dogs, I see," Sean said entering the living room.

"Who doesn't," He said mentally berating himself, "I assumed you like dogs too."

"Well I do but they aren't my favorite," Sean said.

He tucked his tail to stop it but it danced anyway, he asked, "So what do you like then?"

"Oh, lots of things, let's get your paw wrapped," Sean said.

He nodded at Sean, It was going great at the club, damn dildos fuck everything. Then he chuckled he got a curious look.

"Oh nothing, I just remembered something funny," He said.

"Funny funny, or just in your head funny," Sean asked.

"Probably just in my head funny, let me get those beers," He said leveraging himself up.

"No, you don't, I need to wrap that paw," Sean said and pushed with two digits, "stay seated Oliver I need to get this taken care of."

Forced back into his seat he let Sean apply antiseptic, to the pad of his paw and wrap it in gauze, He watched, enjoyment feeling of him at the touch, till the antiseptic, the antiseptic not so much.

"What do you do Sean," He asked trying not to clench his teeth.

"I work at city hall as a mediator," Sean said.

He tested his foot, not perfect, but easier to stand on now with the bandage. He headed to the fridge to grab the beers, and asked, "What do you mediate?"

"Well, I started as a third-party mediator between businesses and employees with complaints about fair treatment to avoid legal actions, then when a job in the legal department managing city equality ordinances opened I jumped on it," Sean said.

"The corporate one sounded cool, why did you do the change," He asked passing Sean a beer.

"I wanted to work more for those who were being miss treated, I saw so many companies side stepping the Prey Species act of seventy-four and the emancipation act. I can do more now." Sean said taking a pull on his beer.

His hair stood on end, he said, "that's amazing that you get to do that."

After a short pause, Sean asked, "So when did you move here, this place is pretty settled in?"

"I moved west after college and in this place about sixteen months ago, my buddy Paul helped me find it," He said then sipped his own beer.

"So why aren't you seeing someone," Sean asked.

"I-I was, but... Well it's complicated," He said apprehensive about his inexperience, "I had an incident when I first tried going out and meeting other gay guys. It's wrecked all of my potential relationships since."

"When was this incident," Sean asked, "it was crazy before the apps."

"Yeah it was but I was also young and stupid," he said and nodded.

"I had a horrible first time too, I grew up in the Pack, most wolves do as you can imagine. I wasn't comfortable with who I was and was told it was against the Will of the Alpha of Alpha's," Sean said leaning back into the couch cushions, and hugged one knee and his beer, "What about you?"

"I didn't grow up in the Pack, my family are Prime Witnesses," He scooted closer and said, "and I guess most of the people where I'm from are as well. They all think it's disgraceful to your family to be gay and you'll go to hell. So, I tried to hide it from them. I didn't have other people to talk to about it so I used the IM chatrooms."

"I used craigslist, but go on," Sean said wiping his running nose.

Prime is he crying, heart pounding knowing that he reeked of fear He said, "I chatted, they were always focused on sex which, you know exciting, but I was a dumb kit at the time and didn't have anyone in town or at home to turn too."

Sean scooted closer grabbing his free paw, causing happy sparks to climb his arm from the touch of Sean's cold right paw, and his eyes fogged.

"I was sixteen and got my license. I had been chatting a guy that told me he could teach me about what it meant to be gay," He said choking up.

Sean waited.

He said, "I visited him and we watched a movie, it was all good we just cuddled and talked during the movie."

"That doesn't sound horrible."

"Well he was a big guy and I was only five ten and skinny then, I could feel that he was hard and it was exciting, I said no, but he didn't stop," He said.

"Oh no," Sean said pulling him into a hug, "Were you ok? Something happened like that to me."

That admission gave him the strength to continue, "When I struggled more he back off. I should have left but I thought it was ok now. He got me a drink and he was older and bigger than me, a muscle Rhino. Not long after I finished my drink I got all light headed and couldn't move well, that's when he came onto me again... I couldn't stop him."

His eyes misted up, Please don't hate me.

Sean said, "He drugged you and you didn't have anyone to talk to about it at home."

"No I didn't, not really. I kind of hinted at the topic to feel out my friends. I-I had no one to talk to about it. I mean my friends they were all straight and at sixteen... I didn't know who I could go too, I was ashamed and felt weak. It was a secret from everyone. Now it's making it hard to date anyone here," He said heart racing.

"Did the guys you went out with not understand what you were going through," Sean asked sniffing.

"No, I don't think they could, I started seeing a counselor about it, she told me to talk to people. But most guys kinda freak out about me oversharing, sorry, I just felt that I could trust you, sorry for kind of gushing," He said claws prickling his legs through his pants.

"I'm glad you did. Well, would any of them talk with you about it," Sean asked.

"Yeah but often I got friend zoned, and others just wanted to do things in bed I wasn't ready for. I just couldn't make them happy. One asked if I wanted to role play it with him," He said noticing a new scent he didn't recognize on Sean, "I shouldn't have gushed I'm sorry."

"Role play like re-enact? I'm glad you told me and I assume they generally ended it," Sean asked.

"He wanted me to get rapey with him. Yeah, they ended it, except the rapey guy... But all of them even the creep pulled away, sometimes I don't know if I know how to date or something, like I'm too damaged to be loved," He said.

Sean held him tight nuzzling the top of his head.

He asked, "May I hear your story?"

Still holding him tight, Sean said, "sure, it's similar but different to your own. Well it started just looking, I picked a guy who posted ads a lot, and he was hot and I developed a crush on the idea of him. I messaged him and learned he had a thing for runts, I thought, oh perfect, I was the runt he'll have to like me."

"Did you know what that meant, when you went to meet him? That's like a pup or kit right," He asked not minding Sean's tears or his runny nose.

"No, like you, I was naive at the time," Sean said, "That changed fast."

He squeezed him for comfort. But Sean seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

"I need some more tissues and another beer, you want one," He asked trying to get up but Sean had a firm hold on him.

Sean let go then said, "oh sorry."

He got two beers, and the tissue box by the door, and passed a beer to Sean snuggling up against him involuntarily purring at the contact. "Tell me the rest of your story."

"Well he was another wolf and a big one, but their all bigger," Sean said and sneezed.

He passed a tissue to Sean and he blew his nose.

"Like I said I was the runt of my Litter but I didn't know the term had a meaning in the gay community," Sean's said.

"So, like kitten or pup," He asked.

"Kind of but more like alpha and omega, do felines have their own term for that," Sean asked.

"Yeah, predator and prey," He said, "which come to think of it is a lawsuit waiting to happen."

"Oh, no worries that's job security for me," Sean said and grinned.

He sipped his beer and asked, "So did he attack you or something."

"Yes and no, coming over to be a runt is like agreeing to let someone do what they want to you. I didn't know and he didn't explain it to me, not till I cursed him out when he was done." Sean said and paused, "plus he was a shit, after he realized I hadn't known or wanted that to happen he got horny again and wanted to see if I would be down for a second round."

"You're kidding," He said.

"No, I told him I'd get the police, but he laughed at me and said I'd get kicked out of the Pack, if I told anyone, the Pack would find out I was gay." Sean said shuffling his hind paws on the rug.

"Did you ever tell them," He asked.

"Tell them who," Sean asked.

"The police, the pack, your family," He asked.

"No just a few close friends, and you," Sean said staring at his beer.

He purred, and said, "thank you for that trust in me."

"Your welcome but you trusted me first," Sean said sneezing again.

"Are you ok," He asked smelling Sean's embarrassment.

"I'm fine but I should get back to the party," Sean said with evident regret.

"If you want, I'd like to exchange numbers," He asked purring again.

"Sure, I can program it in for you, but I do need to get my ride as well," Sean said opening his retriever app.

"I understand I got more than enough of your Litterday to feel special, thank you Sean," He said muzzling Sean's shoulder and took Sean's phone to program his number.

"You can't imagine, how much I enjoyed being here with you," Sean said and his nose dripped again.

"Are you sure you're ok," He asked as they made their way to the door, the phone half programmed.

"Yeah, I'll be fine nothing vitamin c and Claritin can't fix, right," Sean said and rubbed his neck.

"Oh ok, well I know it might sound weird but I really like the little I know of you so far," He said and opened the door for Sean.

"I really like you too," Sean said and he smelled ashamed about something.

"You have nothing to be unhappy about with me," He said hugging Sean and leaning in for a kiss.

Sean tensed for a second then melted against him. His tongue tasted Sean's as they kissed, he smelled Sean's instinct to mate rev up. Then as if Sean had been the one to step on the glass he stumbled back eyes wide, mumbled, "I got to go." And ran down the hallway and took the stairs.

As Sean disappeared he said faintly, "I'm an idiot."

When Sean ran off, He slumped back against the wall by the door, not sure how to feel, I'm an idiot too then.

"I told him too much, or maybe I was too excited," He said and got a glass of water.

The phone buzzed, his ride's here. "Crap, I stole his phone."

He ran to the stairs to try and catch Sean.

I'm not going to catch him, I should call him... and that won't work, I'm and idiot, He put more speed into his run his hunter instincts waking up.

I might make it, he reached the lobby door.

A car sped away from the building. Well I know where he lives, I could drop it off over there, but I might not see him if I do that.

He slumped into one of the lobby chairs, I fucked that up, he is probably not ready, like me not too long ago, or.... no, he liked me I could tell.

Chapter 4 Xander PoV

Xander rested his chin hunched down on Paul's shoulder their muzzles next to each other, shifting and bouncing to the beat. He held his arms across Paul's chest holding them together grinding on the dance floor. He enjoyed Paul's hips that followed and moved with his like magnets held together. He licked Paul's cheek then the light shining through his eye lids darkened. The shewolves towering over him and Paul, softened his enjoyment.

"Hey Sharron, what's up," He asked as he stood more and groundless.

"Where's our brother," Samantha asked, anger in her voice.

"I saw him leave," He said.

"Yeah, so did we, did he tell you where he went," Sharron asked in a growl.

"No, what's wrong," He asked, Paul smelled uncomfortable.

"Can you track his phone," Sharron asked.

"I could if my phone wasn't dead, but why not just try calling him? Seriously what's wrong," He asked.

"He left and in the company of a tiger," Samantha said.

"Ok... I don't see the problem," He asked, "And, let's move this conversation off the dance floor."

"It's our Litterday he shouldn't have ditched us," Sharron said.

"And he is with a tiger," Samantha said.

"Wow, what's wrong with a tiger," Paul asked.

"Nothing other than it's a type of cat," Samantha said as if it should have been obvious.

"Seriously this isn't the best talking place, I can hardly hear you," He said.

"And why should Sean hate cats," Paul asked angry.

"Off the dance floor," He said trying to pull Sharron and Paul. But they were like a parked truck in an Iron Elephant competition.

"Are we getting more drinks," Neal asked bouncing into the conversation.

"No, we are dealing with intolerance," Paul said.

"You annoying little pussy," Samantha said.

"Your brother is nice, what happened to you two bitches," Paul said, he smelt even angrier.

"Excuse me," Samantha barked.

"What do you mean," Sharron asked finally acknowledging Paul's presence.

"He talks about and even knows some of feline culture, and you two are aggressive and inappropriate," Paul said, "you've been talking as if cats are beneath you and it's not ok."

"How dare you," Samantha growled.

"I am a manager here, I most certainly will," Paul hissed.

"Hey everyone Please, let's calm down this was probably a miss communication and we are still on the dance floor," He barked.

Paul wasn't backing down not at his club and restaurant.

Damn there goes everyones chill, Paul's a spitfire, a soon to be dead one, but nice, the two wolfs bigger than Sean and had thirty kilos on Him at the least, with way more than that on Paul.

"We are not speciesist, I'll explain if you let me," Sharron said.

"Sorry, I can get aggressive in loud situations," Samantha said, "Particularly when I'm worried, that's why I'm not in the ER or a surgeon."

"The restaurants closed but we can have a quiet seat there," Paul said, "You're lucky I like Xander and don't just call the bouncer."

"Please don't kick my family out," He said.

"You all are family," Paul asked.

"Kicking is out would be more trouble than it's worth," Sharron said, "and yeah we are basically family."

"Someone must be adopted, and going to the restaurants fine, like I said I am the manager," Paul said everyone followed, Neal quietly tagging along as well.

Ken and Pence made out in a corner to be left behind.

"You two are really worried? Paul, do you have a charger," He asked.

"First explain what you meant, if you were not being bigots, and yeah I have one at the host desk," Paul said.

He found the charger and plugged in his phone.

Neal cut in, "No, I want to know what's up with Sean. Sam and Sharron don't freakout like this unless it's serious." He stood looking down to the wolves.

"Thanks Neal," Samantha said.

"No problem, how's that shellfish trial going," Neal asked.

"You two can catch up later. We were concerned because Sean has a health condition," Sharron said, "that's why I was mad. I mean I was surprised to even be eating at Purr Xander not smart. Then you let him go, like that with a tiger."

"This can't be about his Catnip allergy? Wait it's the cat one... come on Sis, he had shots. He is an adult and can take care of himself. It's just a stuffy nose and a good time," He said, pushing two tables together as everyone else set the seats back on the floor.

"Ok that tells me he didn't tell you, the prideful dumb ass," Sharron said.

"Hey that is derogatory, I have a very smart Donkey friend," Paul hissed.

"Sorry sorry," Sharron said and raised her paws in apology, "he was less apt at applying his intellect this evening... was that less offensive enough?"

"Wow, well, that was overly PC," Neal said glancing back and forth between Paul and Sharron.

Samantha groaned, "Alpha, we don't have time for this."

Sharron glared at her sister, "don't take the Alpha's name in vain."

"Great now the bossy big sister is demanding theological correctness too," Neal chuckled.

"What? No Sean's the oldest but he was the runt," Sharron said, "I'm the youngest, and shut it Neal."

"And the most domineering, Xander knows," Samantha said.

"Whatever, explain about Sean," He said.

"You never noticed he's the runt," Samantha asked.

"No, explain why going home with a tiger is a bad thing," He said.

"He is allergic to cats," Sharron said.

"Yeah, I know itchy throat and runny nose, what's the big deal," He said.

"He is deathly allergic to cats," Samantha said.

Neal laughed, "That was funny, but what's the real reason."

"He is... Allergic... TO Cats," Samantha enunciated, "the shellfish study is potentially going to help him but it's so not at that point."

"No one's deathly allergic to cats that's like being allergic to air, or dying from seasonal pollen. I mean cats are everywhere," He said.

"It's a very rare kind of allergy, almost everyone will never have one this severe, and is more common in primates." Samantha said, "I got into medicine hoping to help him. He nearly died when a kit that had a crush on him licked him in the first grade."

"You're not joking," Paul said wide eyed.

"Woah that's why he got switched to my class Sam," He asked.

"Yes, I wish I was joking, I assumed he would have told his best friend," Sharron said, "but he's always been a tad secretive."

"Yeah, he only recently opened up to Neal about the other thing, not camp but the other thing, he still won't talk about that," He said.

"What other things," Sharron asked narrowed eyes.

"Well, you should talk to him about that, and, oh hey, let's figure out where he is," Neal said squeaky and wide eyed, "Xander how's that phone?"

"I can call him," He said, "or find his phones location now that I have a charge," then walked over to his phone.

"Call him," Sharron said.

He dialed and felt awkward under there stares, he moved to get up but as if they knew his thoughts Sharron and Paul placed a paw on each of his shoulders keeping him in place.

"Hello this is Sean's phone," a voice said.

"Hi, I'm Xander, Sean's close friend, who are you and why do you have Sean's phone?"

"Oh, I'm Oliver, Sean left his phone at my place, if you were expecting him to answer this isn't about getting his phone back. How could I get it too him," Oliver asked.

"So, he isn't with you," He asked, "and I'd be happy to get it too him, do you know where he went?"

"No, I thought he got a Retriever driver ride but he couldn't pay without his phone, so I don't know what happened." Oliver said, "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, we were expecting to see him back at the bar. Could I swing by and get his phone," He asked.

"You said Oliver? I know where he lives, it's not far from the gym you go too with Sean, Xander." Paul said.

"Yeah, I got worried when he ran off, and kinda confused," Oliver said.

"Can you text the directions as back up, Paul from Purrfection said he can get us to your place." He said.

"Ok cool I'll be in the lobby." Oliver said ending the call.

"What's going on," Sharron asked.

"He left his phone at the Tigers place, the Tiger didn't know where he went but the place isn't far from the gym so he may have walked or ran home," He said, "Neal has the other spare key to his place, I think you two ladies should go with him over there, while Paul and I go get Sean's phone, and maybe we'll all find our lone wolf."

"That will work, we have your number," Sharron said, "which car should we take."

"We can take mine," Samantha said.

"I'll drive you over Xander," Paul said, "but first I need to lock this room up."

"Ok will call you as soon as we get there," Sharron said.

"Talk to you soon," He said waving, "Paul you are awesome, I'm sorry if this is wrecking your night."

"Not at all, we prowled, and fought together, now you're taking me on a hunt, tonight you are checking so many boxes," Paul said raising his tail provocatively, "except for one."

"So, you, um we can go back to Sean and my... no I guess we can't go back to my place," He said nearly dropping the chair he set back on the table, tongue dropping out of the side of his mouth.

"You aren't in the pack, are you," Paul asked checking the doors and registers.

"No, I was in a community Pack, I just feel like an honorary member of the Pack Pack," He said.

"Sure, you and every other dog," Paul said.

"A community Pack is pretty much the same thing just more inclusive, we had cat members and everything," He said.

"You can take part in my cat membership," Paul said and gave him a wink.

"Yes please," He said.

"I'm all locked up and ready to go," Paul said.

"Thanks for this," He said, and took Paul's paw and licked his cheek.

"Save that tongue for later I need it to be ready for a workout." Paul said.

His bulge pulsed against Paul's hip he said, "If we don't go soon I won't be able to leave."

"To the Catmobile," Paul said with a dramatic gesture at the stairs to the lower garage.

"You call your car the Catmobile," He asked.

"It's more appropriate than Pussywagon," Paul said checking his claws, as they took the stairs to the underground parking area.

"So, does that make me Robin," He said as they got in Paul's mini.

"No, I can't see you as Robin, Nightwing more likely," Paul said.

"Wasn't he killed," He asked.

"Yeah, but it's kinda like those Bruce Lee movies, he dies in most of them, but comes back again and again." Paul said, turning out of the garage onto Pike Street.

"So, Paul, sorry to change the subject, but do you date for fun and what do you want out of a relationship... not that we have one yet but it's good to know where someone's at," He asked.

"Fun, at the least," Paul said, "to a deep connection, if the substance for one is there more, but I hate that question."

"I want a deep connection, but I also like a guy that is beta," He said, "and what's wrong with the question?"

Paul's claws came out and retracted, "It assumes that a guy wouldn't jump at a chance with the guy of their dreams or something. Everyone wants to be loved by someone they want to love back. Well to your other question, I'm more kitten then Prime... in dog I think that translates."

"Prime isn't that god or the head of a harem," He asked.

"Yes, to god, but hasn't meant the harem thing since 1890 and that was a Pridian thing," Paul said.

"Well I don't know what I want, I'm in a community pack, and I've never tried being a bottom, I don't think I want too," He said, "Did you grow up religious?"

"Not really my family had Pridian and Nightwatcher trappings but I didn't go to any. Well not till my mom thought I needed religion to have more parenting and family, we started attending Pridian church, there nice people but I'm gay so outer darkness for me," Paul said, "liked the community get togethers, though, what do you like about it?"

"The Packs like that," he said, "it's weird but I think every church is about giving community, which is nice. We sing together where else does that happen?"

"I had a friend Timmy, the singing was his favorite bit about being in the Flock, I never liked hymnals or pews," Paul said.

"Well I heard you sing along to that Britney song, do you like singing," He asked.

"I do," Paul said with a wink, "but a second date karaoke night is a bad idea."

"So, as a first date it can't be going that bad," He said placing a paw on Paul's thigh making the car swerve for a second.

"It's not a date unless you get some I see," Paul said.

"I'm just feeling things out, you know to see where it goes," He said.

"Yeah, I-I like being in charge, ee-even though getting bred is my favorite," Paul said hardening under his paw.

"I like that, I was the middle of seven so I learned to be flexible with everything in life," He said.

"You learned to be sexually flexible... from your family," Paul asked in disgust.

He shuttered, "Alpha no, I just learned adaptability from them, adaptability translated to sex... probably at puberty."

"Oh, that is a cat of different stripes, and we are here," Paul said pulling into the loading and unloading zone in front of Oliver's building.

He got out and waved at the tiger he saw in the Lobby. The tiger notice and came out to meet them.

"Hello, I'm Oliver," The Tiger said giving a quasi-dog tail wag greeting and gave Paul a glare followed by a slow blink.

"You did that pretty well, I'm Xander," he said, "is something the matter between you and Paul?"

"No, he and I were just saying hey, non-verbally." Oliver said, "Uhm, do you know what happened with Sean? Here's his phone." Oliver loomed over him even bigger than Sharron.

"We don't know but he has a medical condition," He said.

"Oh crap, I hope he is ok? He's a nice guy," Oliver said, "He was helping me after I cut my foot on the broken glass from his cup."

"Oh, that explains his disappearance from the party," He said, Paul joining them on the curb.

"What type of medical issue is it," Oliver asked.

"An allergy," He said.

"Well I did notice he was getting a very stuffy nose," Oliver said.

"That's not good," He said his phone ringing, "one second."

"Hey, Sharron what's up," He asked.

"I found a used EpiPen in his hallway but he isn't here," Sharron howled over the phone.

"Shit he must be at the hospital, you call, Swedish, I'll can Harborview, have Samantha call Virginia Mason, and Neal Overlake just to be safe." He said.

"Ok, I'll text you if I find anything out," Sharron said and ended the call.

"Well, thanks Oscar but we got to go," He said.

"It's Oliver, and please Xander, can I come, I'll be freaking out all night if I don't." Oliver said.

"Ask Paul he is driving," He said as he dialed the hospital.

"Hello I was calling about my friend he was having an allergic reaction and we don't know which hospital he went too, yes I can hold." He said bouncing on his paws.

The connection changed, "Hello this is Harborview medical after hour's intake nurse, Natalie speaking, how, can I help you?"

"Hello, I'm Xander, I'm calling about my friend he was having an allergic reaction and we don't know which hospital he went too is there any way you can help us find which one he went too," He asked, rapid fire.

"Sir, have you tried calling your friend, that would be the best first step," Natalie said asked woodenly.

"Yes, he left his phone he when to his apartment and may have used his EpiPen," He said, Paul and Oliver motionless beside him.

"That sounds very unfortunate, sir, but if we cannot identify the person or an emergency contact, we cannot proceed, ok," Natalie said.

"Sure, fine, what do you need," He asked.

"Last name and first name of the patient and medical tag number if he has one." Natalie said.

His phone buzzed with a group text from Samantha, "he is in the Swedish Medical Center ER. He stabilized mostly from the Epi, but is being monitored. Sharron and I are heading over, visiting hours are in the morning but he should be discharge before then."

"Oh, thank the Alpha," He said ending his call with the hospital and shared the news.

"Would it be weird if I went to the hospital," Oliver asked.

"No, I don't think any of the three of us could go right now, me maybe after a shower, but the visiting hours are over." He said.

"Boots, Sean never told you I gather, but he has a severe feline allergy," Paul said rubbing Oliver's arm.

Oliver's eyes sparkled then his muzzle fell under our expressions, "Oh, you mean a really severe one."

"I thought it was a joke, too," He said, "when did you and Sean meet?"

"Just tonight but it was like a breath of fresh air, I've seen you two at the gym before," Oliver said and sat on the curb, massaging his ears.

"I noticed you there too, are you ok," He asked.

"Yeah, I guess, but have you ever met someone you connected with so easily you couldn't help liking them," Oliver asked.

The Sean effect strikes again, He then said, "I know what it's like to be in love with someone that can't or won't love you back, it makes you think, what life could have been like, you know, but you can't live like that."

Paul said, "Wow Oliver way to crush super-fast."

"I know that's your job. But that's not what has me all bummed, I feel like I couldn't really even be a friend because I can't be near the guy." Oliver said.

"Be Pen pals then, you can make something work, Sean told me I just need to shower if I get with a cat," He said.

"Prime save us from the optimism of dogs," Paul said then hugged his shoulders.

Paul did it like Sean would but with different proportions head against the back of his neck.

"How long has he been allergic to cats," Oliver asked.

"Our sister said first grade is when they found out, a kitten that liked him licked him," He said, "I met him when he got changed into my class. He had allergy shots and always down played it I guess. I had no idea it was that bad and we are basically brothers."

"Oh hell, I'm an idiot, I kissed him," Oliver said morosely, "The entire evening he had this hesitant willingness, I thought it was just prior bad dating experiences."

"Easy assumption to make and accurate with Sean. It's not all your fault, I knew he had a huge thing for cats, so I set up his Litterday party for Purr, just so he could meet a guy just like you. If I'd known, he had this bad of an allergy. I just thought he was shy around guys that are his type or something," he said, "he isn't shy, I mean, with guys that aren't his type he isn't. He was walking around our place naked before we went out tonight."

Paul's hardening bulge pressed against him, Paul said, "Let's drop off the phone and head to my place."

He thickened right away, and said, "So you like thinking about a naked dude parading around me?"

"I do particularly if it's going to be me," Paul said.

"How about you put me in a group text with his sisters and I'll drop off the phone," Oliver said.

"That works," He said, distracted by the tongue grooming his ear. He got Oliver's number programmed it, and texted, Oliver, Sharron and Samantha.

"Thanks, I'm going to head out before I see something here I can't unsee," Oliver said standing.

"Paul, where do you live," He asked passing Oliver Sean's phone.

"Just use my guest bedroom I left my door open and I'd prefer you guys there to getting robbed or something," Oliver said.

"Thanks Boots, how are you getting to the Hospital," Paul asked standing up.

"I was just going to page a Retriever," Oliver said.

"Just take my car, I'm illegally parked here," Paul said and gave Oliver his keys.

"Bye guys, have fun," Oliver said with a wave then got in Paul's car.

"So you've known Oliver a while, I see," he asked after Oliver drove off.

"Yeah we chatted online a lot before he moved here, I found this place for him, and we go to each other's game and movie nights," Paul said dragging him into the building.

"Lead the way, this isn't weird going to his place is it," he asked, rubbing Paul's side pulling him closer with each caress.

"No, it's fine he's a generous host, plus he is borrowing the car." Paul said molding their bodies.

Bubble-like patches of gold and brown fur ran down the right side of Paul's neck. He sniffed it, taking in more of Paul's heady cinnamon smell. They entered the empty elevator and selected the floor, he pulled Paul to him to nuzzle him muzzle to muzzle like he had on the dance floor and now to lick, slightly below and behind Paul's left ear and over the bubble pattern on Paul's neck.

The contact drew a stream of purring from Paul's throat as he moaned, "You smell so good to me Xander, it's like a cross between cinnamon and pine I've never smelled a dog like that."

"You smell good to me too," he moaned back, paws roving over Paul's light weight but athletic frame, holding Paul tight to his body. His bulge and Paul's tail battled for space between their legs, he kissed Paul as a consolation to the soon to be tail war looser.

"Where do you want it first," He asked.

"I want to shower and taste you, or we can cuddle on the couch and work our way from there," Paul said brushing their cheeks together then gave him a kiss.

Paul use agile but aggressive paws to rub and scratch behind one of his ears. While they kissed. He held Paul tight, his arms wrapped around Paul's chest. Paul reached back and held their hips firmly together. He moaned while Paul played with the spot above his tail.

He bucked and ground against Paul unable to stop himself from the sensation Paul caused in him, but why would he want to stop, Paul stimulated him so well.

"Will doggy bury his big bone," Paul asked, his scent shifting to a deeper rut.

"Yeah doggies been chasing a nice tail," He said, moaning, licking and nuzzling as the whimsy took him.

The elevator ding'd and two ladies heading out for their night on the town got a show and nose full.

From Paul and his scents, it would be obvious what had been going on. One a husky the other a hawk.

"Ah hem, which floor," Paul asked shifting his stance which from the girl's expressions only pointed out his hard-on.

"We were going to the lobby," the husky said.

"The elevators still going up two more floors and then it'll head to the lobby," Paul said.

Paul's tail tried to twitch between them while his still unwavering boner pressed into Paul.

"So having a long and hard night," The hawk asked.

"Oh this night has been a long time coming," He said.

"Ugh, I hate puns," the husky said.

Thankfully the elevator stopped on Oliver's floor and Paul dragged him off the elevator.

With the elevator door closing behind them, Paul said, "Prime that was embarrassing."

"I thought that was hot but I'm probably more exhibitionist than you." He said and received only silence.

"Are you still in the mood, He asked.

Paul smelled amused but didn't answer.

He said, "Fine we can just cuddle and watch Netflix."

"Oh please, like that wouldn't end up with us naked in a heartbeat," Paul said closing the door to Oliver's apartment.

"Sounds like a great start than," He said.

"Sorry, I was just embarrassed in that situation. Cats aren't big exhibitionist, unless they are in control, I wasn't and it was uncomfortable." Paul said.

The place a nice mid-century modern furnished apartment. Two bedroom two bath. He could smell Sean, and Oliver's scent with the tang of sadness in the air.

He chuffed to clear the smell from his nose.

"Would you like some water," Paul asked.

"Sure," He said not sure where to go or what to do.

"What would you want to watch," Paul asked.

"I like dark comedy, He said.

"Perfect so do I, take off your shoes and I'll meet you on the couch." Paul said from the other room.

Have Paul and Oliver ever played together, I don't think it matters, I mean it shouldn't matter. He shifted his seat on the couch, then again. The room's aroma bit with sadness and arousal, mixing with the scents they brought in their wakes. Paul in the kitchen got waters and from the sounds beers.

Paul called from the kitchen, "the TV and everything is on one remote if you want to start Netflix."

He picked up the remote and said, "So I feel weird being in someone else's house."

"Still? It's nothing to worry about, he wanted to borrow the car," Paul said as he brought their drinks into the living room setting them on the coffee table.

"But you offered the car, after he offered us a place to crash," He asked.

"Yeah... oh, sorry, that's part of cat culture you ask for something by leaving a gift in front of someone, then they indicate what or how you can do them a favor back," Paul said and sipped on his beer and snuggled into his side.

"So kind of like bartering," He asked.

"Yeah, do you like Archer, we can watch that, I love that show," Paul said.

"From what I just learned shouldn't you have offered me something before requesting the show," He asked.

Paul rolled his eyes, and said, "Subtlety is lost on you. I got you a beer."

"Oh, we can watch it if you like," He said, "I am not sure if I'll figure all that out, I'm not really a subtle guy."

"Don't worry its natural, operant conditioning will happen," Paul said.

"Ah, I see how it is the first thing you want to do is to train me," He said.

"I already told you that I'm a power Kitten, and you're a good puppy and will love training," Paul said.

"Oh, will I," He asked.

"Well, I thought I should, doesn't a beta want an alpha, or is that just a misnomer," Paul asked and clicked the play icon.

He could smell Paul's excitement and anxiety, He had never been with a cat before, He said he likes dogs but has he been with a dog before, are we both just stuck in our heads right now?

"So what about me turns you on," Paul asked interrupting his thoughts.

"You smelled so exotic, you were assertive and playful when we talked, and I could tell you care about the people that come into the restaurant and club," He said, "what about me?"

"Well after you contacted the restaurant on your MuzzleBook page I kinda MuzzleBook-stalked you," Paul said.

"Really, you liked my page then," He asked.

"Yeah that's not going to weird you out or anything," Paul asked.

"It might be weird if I wasn't a notorious MuzzleBook stalker myself," He said, Paul snuggle deeper.

"I've gone prowling by many of the places and restaurants you check-in at and we have similar books and movies listed, I like dogs but I haven't been with a dog much and I don't know your culture terribly well, but I thought I'd take a chance," Paul said

Paul nuzzled into his neck.

"Your sexy Paul, Hopefully, you find me attractive too," He said, "If we are to fully stroke my ego here, we can't forget that."

"I can stroke lots of things for you," Paul said.

_He's going for my belly, Paul don't go for my-_His leg trembled, kicking and bouncing against the floor and coffee table. He groaned unable to articulate. After a while Paul relented leaving him panting.

"How interesting, was that good or bad," Paul asked.

"Good... Very Good... please don't stop," He gasped.

"What an interesting play toy," Paul said taking control of his body. He kicked and panted while Paul worked on his body stripping him with his other paw.

Paul stopped rubbing to lift his hips and got his pants off, kissing and licking his muzzle, becoming lost in the sensation, new and different from those he had experienced before.

Paul's smaller and suppler frame fit in a way he never felt before. He still had the presence of mind enough to kiss back pressing himself further into Paul.

Paul pushed him down to lay on the couch while he took his bone into his maw. He felt his first cat blow job, as Paul's slender but strong tongue darted over and around his self-moistened cock.

He got used to the different sexual stimulus this cat gave him but before he could get close enough Paul pulled off him.

"My maw is getting sore, damn you're big," Paul said and rubbed his cheek.

"Thanks... you got me so close, you can't leave me like this," He said panting under Paul.

"I could if I wanted," Paul said, "thankfully, I don't want to leave you like this, one second." He lay there, while Paul ran to one of the bedrooms. With his head near the arm rest, He got a strong whiff from the throw pillow of Sean. Horny already and the smell made him hornier, sad and a little confused.

Before he could wallow in his confused feelings, Paul came back.

He propped himself up on his elbows shivering as Paul applied the cold lube to him.

"You miss me," Paul asked, and straddled to sit on him.

"Can you tell," He said making his cock jump against Paul's paw as he lined things up.

Paul hissed out a breath as the tip entered. The warmth and tightness clothed him. He remained on his elbows, he reached one paw behind Paul grabbing the back of his neck and shoulders pulling him firmly down to the base of his cock.

Paul gasped and pressed him to lay back down into the couch arms at his sides, and said, "Not so fast big boy I'm still getting used to you."

He felt himself expanding in Paul. Paul seemed to be feeling it too and murmured, "oh my Prime."

"Well, it seems that you're getting my load whether you like it or not," He said.

"I didn't know a dog would be like this is overwhelming," Paul said.

"Let's spoon for a bit till you get used to it." He said.

"It's still getting bigger, I can't help it I'm going to cum," Paul said then clenched his paws in black fur.

Paul shuddered spraying all over his canine seats belly, chest, and muzzle.

"Wow you're quite the shooter, can you still take it or should we wait for it the go down," He asked.

"I'm a cat, I can go many times a day, stay there and fill me," Paul said and ate his cum from the fur getting sloppy before cleaning the rest of him with kisses.

"I think spooning might be easier," He said watching Paul try and balance on him.

"Yeah I think your right." Paul said rotating around to face away from him, while on his cock Paul's tail draped to the left. He pulled Paul down on his heaving chest.

"So, uhm, you like my cock I see," He said rolling to the side so they both faced the TV.

"I didn't invent the turtleneck, Lana. But I was the first to see its potential as a tactical garment. The Tactical Turtleneck, Lana. The... Tactleneck." The TV said in the background.

"Yeah I like it a lot, you don't have to stop just because I came." Paul said folding his ears back.

He didn't know the meaning of the cat expression, I guess that telling me to go for it?

"You want more cock, you want me to fill you up," He asked then thrust into Paul.

Paul purred, pressing further back against him.

He pulled Paul underneath him and he rolled onto Paul's back. Paul looking over his shoulder at him, his mouth hanging open as they both panted.

He picked up his pace, thrusting harder and harder, watching in satisfaction as Paul's eyes rolled back then closed, purring through a soft moan.

He felt fully hard inside Paul, and he wanted to cum, he panted with the effort to get himself there.

He got frustrated that he couldn't do it, he heard the intro to a new episode as he kept thrusting hard into Paul who took the rough fucking like a champ.

"Come on Xander make me yours," Paul said. Which only made it harder for him to get there. He took a deep breath scenting Paul's cinnamon under him and the musk of their sex. But another scent got him closer. A faint cedar musk on the pillow next to Paul's head. He drove his muzzle into the pillow breathing deeply of the wonderful cedar smell.

Sean should be climbing on top of me while I'm locked inside Paul. Both Sean and I'll cum together filling and being filled. He groaned and he finally got there.

He filled Paul with his heat collapsing atop him panting from the strain.

"Wow that was amazing," Paul said and squirmed under him.

He rolled them onto their sides, so they could watch the new episode. Paul shifted to slip off him. He pulled Paul's hips back, and said, "I'm not done cumming."

"Really... wow, yeah I can still feel you pulsing down there," Paul said.

"I'm a dog we are generally one shot guys but it's normally a hell of a shot," He said.

"Awesome can you lay on your back again, I want to jackoff, I've never been so full." Paul said.

He swept his tail towards his paws and rolled Paul on top of him still pulsing away.

Paul jacked off on top of him, I shouldn't have been thinking of Sean to get off, what's wrong with me?

Paul shuttered and moaned atop him, while he stared at the ceiling, Why is it so hard to get off with anyone?

Chapter 5 Sean PoV

Sean stumbled through his living room as the colors faded, fumbling with his EpiPen. The safety cap gave him trouble, Damnit damnit damnit I can't get the cap... there is no cap I hate these things. He slammed the needle into his thigh crushing the tube. The plastic tube bent in his paw unable to deliver the full dose with the spring not fully triggered. What he got made a world of difference but didn't fix the issue. He only had the one Epi and couldn't find his old inhaler. The muffled fog clouding his mind, hearing and sight opened to clarity, as he stumbled up. Without his phone, he couldn't get help. In the hallway, he knocked at the first door, and listened for movement but heard nothing, then the same at the second. He loped down the hall to the elevator with his somewhat used EpiPen in paw, when he attempted to slip it into his pocket it dropped.

"Forget it," he gasped taking the stairs, avoiding the slow elevator.

He made no plan taking a bee line run to the Swedish ER, he weaved through the mostly empty streets and sidewalks, the lights and the passage of time danced by him.

"Hey, are you ok someone," yelled at him from a car that slowed for him.

He didn't answer, Panthers bad... avoid, and he needed to make it to the doctor.

A block away, "Jordan stay in the car," the female panther said from the car matching his slowing pace.

"We got to make sure he's ok," Jordan, the male black panther said.

"Hey buddy you ok," Jordan asked.

"Fine... asthma... ER," He choked out.

"Amy he's having an asthma attack," Jordan said, "let me out and go park the car, hey let me give you a paw."

"No.... get away..." He growled at Jordan.

"You need help," Jordan said, "let me help you."

He ran faster to avoid Jordan and make it through the door to the ER.

The entry nurses station had a Raccoon, he gestured frantically and rasped, "Anaphylaxis."

His legs hardly supported him. The raccoon paged someone, before she came around the desk another nurse, a Tabby, helped him into a wheelchair.

The Tabby asked, "Sir, can you state your name and litter date?"

"Sean Richard Miller.... last Wednesday... medical tag." He said and gestured to his wrist. As his eyes focused on the nurses helping him, he recoiled from the Tabby.

"Get away... I can't work with... Your kind," He barked between rasping gasps at the Tabby.

Both nurses' expressions of shock shifted to disgust.

"I'll handle this Emily, cover the desk for me while I do," The raccoon asked.

"I will Shelly," Emily said and moved to the desk greeting Jordan.

Shelly wheeled him into a treatment room, he wheezed the whole time, then an Owl came in wearing a doctor's coat, "how is the patient?"

"He is presenting with shortness of breath, a possible allergic reaction involving anaphylaxis." Shelly said.

"Ok, prep me an Epinephrine injection while I check the medical tag." The doctor said.

The nurse left the room, He remained as calm as he could then voice cracking said, "My EpiPen gave a partial delivery."

"I'm doctor Kelner, I see you have a severe cat allergy, that's not very common." Dr. Kelner said after she examined his medical tag.

"I'm a wolf not a dog," He wheezed.

"Yes, you are, but unlike what the pack or most wolves are willing to admit, you are both in the same animal family. But that is not the issue here. You said you had a partial Epinephrine injection, do you have the pen with you or know its capacity," Dr. Kelner asked.

"I think it was two-hundred and fifty milliliters, but I can still hardly breathe I got less than half of the Epi," He said.

"That's a fairly large dosage for a wolf your size, I'm going to give you fifty milliliters more and see if that clears your airway up, plus a histamine blocker," Dr. Kelner said. Shelly returned with the syringe on a tray, pills, and a prepped oxygen muzzle.

Doctor Kelner gently gave him the shot which cleared his chest and mind immediately. Then had him swallow the pills. Shelly placed the mask on his maw and said, "I will be back to check on you in a few minutes, you can page the front desk with the buzzer by the air tank. Please lay back and breathe normally." The nurse and doctor left.

He lay while the clock ticked away, Damn it I thought those allergy shots were working I share a cubical with an Alpha damned leopard now, why why is everything about me so broken. Oliver probably thinks you _'__ re a sheath rinse, Alpha what was I thinking._

He said, "Maybe Xander can get my phone. Oliver probably thinks I'm crazy, damnit, and that nurse, she must think I'm a raging bigot."

Time passed and the adrenaline left his system. The Raccoon nurse came in with the wheelchair and Shelly asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Not one hundred percent but getting much better." He said.

"Ok, if you can get up, we are going to move you to a room for the night." She said with detached professionalism.

He barely stood up dizzily lowering himself into the wheel chair she held for him.

"Shelly, that's your name, and the other nurse at reception was Emily, right," He asked and smelled her dislike.

"Yes, that is Nurse Harkens name, and I'm Nurse Jones," Shelly said as she took him down the hall.

"Is she still here," He asked.

"Why would you like to know," Shelly asked.

"I feel bad and wanted to explain," he said.

"You mean your insult to her species," Shelly asked ice in her words.

"Yes, that, I want to apologize and explain an insult wasn't my intention," He said quickly to prevent an interruption, "I have an allergy to cats, you can look at my records if you like, I was scared."

He smelled Shelly relax behind him, "I didn't know, I'm sure she'll understand," she said.

"I want to apologize in person if she is here, or if not could you pass that along?"

"I'll make sure she knows," Shelly said, "or, well, the room you'll be in is an observation room she can intercom and you can apologize directly."

"I'd like that, I had a great day that ended badly," He said, "I don't want to make her have one too. I probably sounded like a total shit eater."

"Yeah, I understand, oh, your sisters called and are on the way," Shelly said, and backed him into the new room with a vast landscape style patient viewing window with diagonal wires crossing through it. A medical bed and retractable privacy curtain sat on the right side of the room.

"So, shit eaters made my sister's call come to mind," He asked.

"Sadly yes, they were a bit demanding, and I still assumed you were a bigot." She said.

"Oh great," He said, "they're in one of those moods, I'm fine, they don't need to come."

"They don't seem like the type to take no for an answer and will be here shortly," Shelly said.

"How embarrassing," he said, "even if they're here I want to tell the other nurse I'm sorry."

"Ok, she is Emily, and is there anything else you need," Shelly said warmly.

"No, I'm alright, and thank you," He said and lay down.

"I'll be back with a blanket, after rounds." Shelly said and closed the door.

Sharron is going to lecture me, because moms not here to do it, Samantha is going to chew me out for being an idiot. "Ah, Alpha, why am I such an idiot, I knew this would happen but I went home with the guy anyway." He barked_. I'm never going to be with anyone because I can't get close to them. I wish Xander was here I need a hug._ His right arm went cold making him shiver as he drifted off to sleep.

He jerked awake as two black and brown shapes hurdled through the door, scenting him to make sure he's ok before they attacked him in a hug.

Sharron said, "Mother taught you better than this, think how we would all feel if you died-"

"Sean, For Alpha sake, what were you thinking it's our litter day party too," Samantha with a growl.

"Don't curse by the Alpha," Sharron barked.

"Stop telling me what to do," Samantha growled. They both stood.

"Can I have another hug, I'm sorry... I'm really sorry," He said folding his ears back.

They froze then calmed at his submission.

"You're such a runt," Sharron said hugging him and giving him a nuzzling.

"I was stupid and hoped it wouldn't be as bad this time," he said choking up.

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself," Samantha asked, "there are so many other people you can go for."

"Exactly, first grade wasn't your fault but end of high school and college should have taught you this isn't going away," Sharron said.

"They just do it for me," He said, "I thought I had gotten used to being around them. I have a cat coworker now and I wasn't having a reaction like I used too."

"You idiot," Samantha said, "Some people have crack head siblings we have a cat head instead."

"Cats aren't drugs," He said.

Sharron scoffed then said, "might as well be for you, you die if you keep trying them."

"Did you at least get to home plate this time," Samantha asked.

"I didn't just hear that," Sharron said, "Oh, Alpha forgive your dirty minds."

"No just cuddles and one kiss," He said winning softened eyes from Sharron.

"If you are going to die for it, be bold," Samantha said.

"Great advice, 'hey, if you are going to do it, make sure we find a naked dead body and traumatized cat,' no thank you," Sharron said.

"Please don't tell mom and dad," He said.

"Like we'd do that, they can hardly handle you being gay, let alone you having death sex with a cat." Samantha said.

"You have such a pleasant way of describing things," he said.

Samantha and Sharron's phones buzzed.

"What's up," He asked.

"Oh, your killer cat is here with your phone," Samantha said.

"I need to talk to him," He said.

"No cats are coming into this room and you're not getting your phone till I clean it." Samantha said.

"There is an intercom for the room, it'll be perfectly fine." He said.

"Ok will go get him, he can't visit without being with family," Sharron said.

"Thanks," He said heart pounding.

Chapter 6 Oliver PoV

Oliver parked Paul's mini in the garage by the ER. Out front the female panther from the Channel five news team stood by a news van talking to another Panther.

"Sir please tell us what happened this evening," The female reporter asked.

"Well, this guy was running in the streets all tweaked out or something, I wanted to help just in case it was an emergency. It turns out the guy was having some kind of fit. He made speciesist comments to me and the nurse who tried to assist him. She's a cat and the bigot refused to receive services from felines can you believe that." The male black Panther said.

"Sounds like quite the ordeal," The reporter said facing the camera. He had stopped to watch his gut tightening.

"We tried to speak with the verbally accosted nurse but hospital policy would not allow us to hear her story. In this modern day, it is a shame to see this kind of intolerance go without a challenge. I'm Amy Yamamoto signing out." Amy said to the camera.

After the reporter lowered her mic the male panther swooped in to give her a big hug, "Great report honey I hope it helps you get the Full-time position."

I need to figure out what happened. I'll ask the nurse, He rushed past the reporters into the ER waiting room after he sent a text to Samantha and Sharron.

A pigeon sat at the front desk, He went up and asked, "Hi, I'm Oliver, my, err... friend Sean came in having an allergy attack, I want to get him his phone. Where can I find him?"

"You're friends with that guy? Who was having a fit," The pigeon asked skeptically.

"Yeah he is allergic to cats and had an asthma attack," He said.

"Oh yeah, watch the door on the right, I'll page someone for you," she said, "So if your friends and he has a feline allergy... how does that work?"

"Not well, hence the hospital," He said.

"His nurse, Shelly, is in the middle of rounds, I'll page the other nurse who was here at the time," the pigeon said.

"Thank you that would be great," He said as the TV van pulled away from the building.

His phone buzzed Sharron and Samantha would come down to meet him.

A cream and orange Tabby came up to the counter, and said, "You paged me Tia what's up?"

"Emily, our tiger friend here, would like to be directed to Mister Miller," Tia said passing Emily a clipboard from behind the counter.

Emily slouched and smelt unhappy, and confused as she evaluated him. Then said, "It's after visiting hours only family is allowed. What are you his lawyer or something?"

"No, I'm his friend Oliver. So, what happened I heard a reporter outside talking about a bigot," he asked.

"Yeah, your 'friend,' refused services from me," Emily said, "as I happen to be a cat, just like you. How can you be friends with someone like that?"

"You mean someone that happens to have a rare cat allergy," he said, as he stood over her.

Her right ear perked up while the other folded back, and she asked, "He is allergic to us, like I mean actually allergic to us?"

"Yeah, I heard that reporter, she is making him into a story, it could ruin him over a miscommunication and assumptions," He said.

"There's nothing I can do, the hospital won't let you talk to the press about patient matters, and it's in our contract." She said, and smelled uncomfortable.

"You should try," he said.

"I'm sorry for the confusion he caused but it isn't my problem and I don't have time to fix it. Now why was I paged," Emily asked.

He wanted to say more but didn't think it would help, he said, "I'm here to return his phone, the Pigeon said you could direct me."

"It's after hours, can't help you," she said and walked away.

"Don't you mean won't," he called after her.

Tia still sat at the front desk now with her head too far to the side in the way only birds ever seem capable of doing, and said, "I was not expecting that."

"Me either, how can I get back there now," He asked.

"That will be the trick, after visiting hours are over you can't just wander the hospital, I guess I need to page Shelly or leave the desk," she said, and drummed a little, while she typed for a few moments. "Yeah, I'll have to page Shelly, there meeting you at the third floor entry door, right?"

"I'd assume so, I've never been on that floor," He said.

"OK, give me one minute," Tia said and picked up the phone.

He went to check his phone but had grabbed Sean's instead, the display backdrop of an ocean view reflecting an orange sunset with a tiger and a wolf leaning against a fence on opposite edges of the frame.

Drawn to stare at the screen till it re-locked, he tapped to pull up the display again mesmerized, I want that too.

"-sir... Sir," someone said to him and by their tone probably not for the first time.

"Oh sorry about that I was lost in thought, are you Shelly," He asked and reached down to shake her small dark brown paw and put the phone back in his pocket.

"Yeah, this way, so Emily wouldn't take you," Shelly asked while she badged him through the secured doors.

"No, I think she was really offended, allergy or not," He said.

She turned to a hallway that would take them the long way around, he asked, "don't we need to turn left to get to the elevators?"

"Ah, you know the hospital, yeah we could but I want to avoid the on-call desk. I don't want to explain a guest after hours and all that." Shelly said.

"I do know the hospital, I'm seeing Doctor Ashford," He said.

"Oh.... how's that going," Shelly asked.

"Good my numbers are strong so, no meds yet," He said and they turned again.

"That's good but Ashford recommends meds straight away. Why aren't you on them," Shelly asked.

"I was raised a Prime's Witness, I still feel guilty with getting a blood draw and other things, I don't need the meds, yet. So I have been avoiding them." He said and followed her into the elevator. His phone buzzed with a new text.

"Oh, I grew up in an agnostic household, there is free counseling if you like," she said.

"I probably need it," He said.

"Here is the number," she said and scribbled it down on a takeout menu she had on her clipboard.

"First time I've gotten a psych and teriyaki recommendation," He said, "Thank you."

"Oh the teriyaki is probably better than the counseling and the counseling isn't bad," she said and gave him a smile as she exited the elevator.

"Since your friends allergic you should use the intercoms outside his room. I have to get back to my rounds," she said and opened the large steal door which barred the hallway.

"Thanks Shelly," He said and smelled the two wolves around the corner, Here goes nothing.

They looked like bigger similarly colored female versions of Sean, he said, "hi, I'm Oliver, you must be Sean's sisters?"

"I'm Sharron, this is Samantha," the bigger of the two wolves said.

"You have Sean's phone," Samantha asked.

"I, yeah, I was hoping to give it to him," He said.

"I'll take it and clean it," Samantha said.

"Here you go," He said and passed her the phone, "where do we go from here?"

"You know, it's not appropriate that you two spend much time together, it will only make things harder," Sharron said with stern disapproval that radiated off her in both scent and expression.

"Yeah, I figured, but I think channel five is running a news story on him. It's portraying him as a bigot, I thought he should know," He said then added, "and I want to know why he didn't tell me."

Sharron relented, and said, "This way, you two can chat while I call the news people and his phone is cleaned."

"Xander said he has had this all his life," He said.

"Well that's generally how it works. We didn't really notice it or figure out that he had the allergy until the crush in grade school," Sharron said.

"Not to mention, our dad freaked out about a cat licking his son and how, unnatural it was." Samantha said, "I still don't know how dad controlled himself when Sean came out."

"You know he thinks Sean is dating Xander, right," Sharron said.

"You can't be serious, that must be why he is practically stalking Xander," Samantha said laughing.

"So your family is pretty conservative then," He asked, after they nodded he gestured at the hospital around them and asked, "How will they handle all this?"

"Oh please, like we would tell them. 'So mom, dad, as you know your cat loving son, who's also gay, I might add, likes kissing cats, oh, and he tried getting kissed to death again, love you both, toodles,' I'm not telling them even if they ask." Samantha said, and turned down another hallway, "I'll meet up with you the bathrooms over here."

"So even if he wasn't allergic to me it probably wouldn't happen," He asked.

"It probably would, Sean doesn't live by the whims of the pack or his parents," Sharron said, "but he probably would have never told us to avoid the issue."

"That's so cattish," He said.

"I know he is like that, somewhere between a wolf, chow chow, and a cat," Sharron said she smelled uncomfortable, "so, why do you want a canine?"

She didn't like talking about homosexuality, or cross species dating from what he could tell, he said, "I always preferred men, but I didn't want my family to find out, they are very religious. So, I dated people of other kinds and species, hoping my family and the others wouldn't interact. I'm from a small town and that didn't work out so well."

"Did they ever try conversion therapy," She asked, "I've heard that it works but I've never heard it talked about from the participant side."

"I assume that Sean never did then, neither did I..." he said trailing off under Sharron's stare, "oh so, wow so that was the camp."

"Yes, it changed him but he is still gay," she said.

"A kit in a town about thirty miles away did it too," He said, Sharron stopped outside another door.

"So what happened to him, other than the camp Xander and Neal mentioned something else," Sharron asked.

"He ran away, and no one knows what happened," He said, "you can't change those types of internal wiring."

"Yeah I guess not, I meant about my brother not that other kit," she said.

"I know but that's between you two I won't break confidences," he said.

"He is inside, and Oliver you're very nice and very sweet, but you two can't be friends. He would never give up trying to get a chance with you, and would miss the relationship he could have that would work," Sharron said, and walked off phone to her ear.

He didn't know how to handle her last comment so he pushed it away. Opened the door to set into the small hall with a big window, and the room's actual door, with the intercom between.

Sean's muzzle lit up for him, and he mouthed something but He could not hear him, nor could he read Sean's maw with the breath muzzle on.

He studied the intercom pressed the talk button and said, "I can only hear you when I push listen and you can only hear me when I push talk."

Sean frowned and mouthed more, He switched to listen.

"-inefficient, how can you expect to have a conversation like that," Sean asked.

He flipped the switch and said, "It's probably so doctors can talk 'at' the patient."

Sean stared then gestured at the wall, He flipped the switch, Sean said, "I wish you could just come in here and talk. But I'll say over when I'm done and you can say it before you flip the switch. Over."

"Well that works but you know, I can't come in." He said, "Why didn't you tell me you have a cat allergy? Over."

"I thought it had gone away or, well wasn't so bad, then we talked and even though I could tell I was having a reaction, I couldn't stop. You are a breath of fresh air. I was able to say things with ease that I barely ever talk about," Sean said, "over."

"I liked talking to you too, you make my heart race, but how could we make it work? We can't touch or be in the same room very long," He said, "over."

"I don't know how we could, all I know is I want too," Sean said, "over."

"I'm sorry but not being able to touch makes dating hard, look at Rogue from the X-men," He said, "over."

"But Rogue hurts others, I only hurt myself, we could be friends, right," Sean asked, "Over."

The pleading tone would have been annoying if it hadn't been what he wanted himself. "I guess we can try, Rogue, I do like you and all that." He said, "Over."

"Ok Gambit," Sean said as he took the breath muzzle off and wobbly got to his paws, "Even if we can or could be nothing more than friends, you're the first person that has been through what I have been through, and on top of that I genuinely like the little of you I have gotten to know. Over"

He flushed silently thankful Sean couldn't see it or probably smell it in the other room, he said, "Why am I Gambit and not Wolverine, over?"

"Gambits a Lynx and has the sexy accent," Sean said, "like yours, Over."

"I have a sexy accent," He asked, "I don't have an accent, and I guess I'm ok with Gambit if he is sexy, over."

"You do it's a rural country inner mountain one," Sean said, "What... If he is sexy have you never watched X-men? Over."

"I've watched some but not the newer ones," He said, as his hearts pace quickened, "I like your voice too, even through the speaker, over."

"Oliver I'm your Rogue from now on, ok," Sean said Paw to the glass between them, "Over."

"I guess I can be your Gambit," He said, his digit drawing circles where Sean's paw rested, "You know I'll probably develop feelings for you. I am already crushing and it's the first night. Over."

"Me too, but I don't care something is better than nothing, even if it hurts," Sean said, "I- er, we can be whatever we can make of this, over."

"I don't think this is smart, Over," He said, and remembered Sharron's words.

"Gambit's a gambler get into character damnit," Sean said in mocked chagrin, "I think a little discomfort is worth it, when making a lifelong friend, over.

"I agree but-"

The door opened and Emily the Nurse came in she looked startled to see him there.

"Sorry I'll come back later," she said.

"No, I have to head out," He said.

Sean tapped on the window to get his attention. He had let go of the button, his arm drained of blood, filled with a pins and needles feeling.

"Sorry, over," He said.

"What's up? Over," Sean asked.

"I'm going to head out, the nurse needs to talk with you, over," He said.

"OK, if you... I mean have to go, I'll have my phone soon, take down my number and text me ok?" Sean said, he forgot the over.

"Yeah what's the number," He said, "I'll text you, wait this is your phone. Your sister has my number, I need to get her your phone. Over."

Sean's glum expression nearly made him stay, but he wrenched himself from the intercom, waved and left the room to find Sharron or Samantha. Halfway down the hall he stopped, I could have programmed my number in Sean's phone if I hadn't rushed off, I'm so smooth.

Chapter 7 Xander PoV

Xander woke up, Wait when did we move to the bed. Paul slept on his side facing away from him. Alpha maybe I should walk home, I had sex while Sean was at the hospital what's wrong with me. He shifted to sneak away, but Paul snuggled back against him with a soft purr. He slumped back down into the bed and wrapped Paul in his arms, Fine Sean was ok, I'm not going to fuck with things, this guy is a good cuddler.

He held Paul tight and drifted back to sleep with tender whimsies. Paul's tail draped over their side and rested along his back between him and the body pillow, This guy is perfect for holding, if only Sean was holding me also.

He woke again to coffee, tofu bacon, potatoes and eggs that wafted on the air currents of a lazy Saturday morning.

He stumbled to the bathroom, I hope Sean's ok.

Paul leaned on the door frame as he peed, and asked, "How did you sleep handsome?"

"Pretty good, Oliver has a nice setup here. How did you sleep," he said.

"Oh, I slept great. I enjoyed last night and if you're not bored of me, I'd like to go to the park, its nice out, or we could check in with Sean," Paul asked.

Wait he's being all accommodating... why, Then he asked_,_ "Yeah, I want to find out out about Sean if he is ok and everything, and did Oliver come back?"

"He came home at two or three, that's when we moved to the bed, but he went to his office, he seems out of it," Paul said.

"I don't remember heading to the bed, I was drained," He said.

"Can't imagine why," Paul said sarcastically, "Come let's have breakfast."

Still naked He walked through a stranger's house, the stranger Sean had gone home with.

"What are you thinking about captain contemplative," Paul asked, and poured him some coffee.

He joined Paul at the table in the dining area by the kitchen, sun shown on the mountains across the water.

"Oh, lots of things, last night was kinda weird," He said, which got a reaction from Paul, "not with you, that was fun, I mean with Sean, I can't believe I poisoned him, and why didn't he tell me about his allergy being this severe."

"Maybe he's sensitive about it, how many bacon strips would you like," Paul asked.

"All of them," He teased, "he probably is sensitive, I know being a runt has always made him nervous. And we never really hung out with any cats."

"It's weird that such a big strong guy like him gets nervous," Paul said as he worked on the eggs.

"I know you don't intimidate much based on last night, but Sean's pretty small for a wolf," He said and took a pull from his coffee.

"How big of a guy you are shouldn't matter, those wolves assumed they could do as they willed because they were big and angry. I know they came to their senses but..." Paul said then stared off into the view of downtown.

"But what, you get they were just scared for Sean right." He said.

"They shouldn't have thought it was ok to act that way regardless of how they felt. The bigger the fur is, the more often they're like that." Paul said. To him Paul smelt angry, sad, and frustrated.

"Hey you ok," He asked.

"Oh yeah, I was just teased a lot growing up for being small. I hate being treated differently for my size." Paul said.

"I was the biggest in my family, but I grew up by a large wolf community. I was the little big guy." He said half way through his food. He grabbed Paul's paw, "thanks for breakfast."

"Dude, you never answered about going to the park." Paul said and got back to his food.

"Yeah it's sunny, I'd like that, but I kinda wish I had a tooth brush though," He said.

"Good point you need one," Paul said and waved his paw in front of his nose.

"Do I? Crap.... morning breath," He asked and breathed onto his paw to smell it.

"Worse, dog breath," Paul said and smirked.

"Oh, ha, ha, I'm going to the store," He said.

Oliver's faint voice called through the apartment, "I have tooth brushes, for guests in the bottom drawer on the right in the bathroom."

"I thought you said he was at the office?" He whispered.

"No, I said he went to his office, it's in the apartment," Paul said.

Oliver came down the hall, "wow that's more Xander than I expected to see."

His embarrassment filled the room as He half covered his nudity. Oliver put off the same scent when he reached the kitchen.

"Why are you both being so shy," Paul asked.

He stood quickly and tucked his tail between his legs and up. He grabbed it and used it as a makeshift diaper as he bolted for his clothes strewn around the living room.

"Hello again Xander, how are you," Oliver asked after he went the other way down the hall.

"I'm well, but for... my pride." He said and stepped into his shorts crushing his tail in his rush.

"Looked to me like you had a few features to be proud of... Paul that was mean," Oliver said.

"What, I needed someone to see the cutie I got," Paul said while he still ate, "And that was revenge for the elevator."

Better clothed, he went back to the table to finish his food.

"I made you a plate, it's on the counter," Paul said to Oliver.

Oliver came back down the hallway with a toothbrush, and said, "Here you go Xander. And Sean's doing fine they released him. He is having breakfast with his sisters at the Pier."

"Thank you for letting me know. So, do All cats show people off like that," He asked.

"I never have but I'm from the country we have class," Oliver said and gave Paul a bemused stare.

"What he told me Sean waltzes around him naked all the time, I thought it was normal for him, plus it was funny." Paul said.

"Hilarious," Oliver said and joined them with his plate.

"So what park did you have in mind," He asked.

"I was thinking of the big one, Discovery, but if you don't want to drive we can hit up one within walking distance," Paul said.

"I like Discovery, I'd love to go, Oliver are you coming too," He asked and took his plate to the sink.

"I would but I need to check in on my friends from back home, and I need to get work done having them visit hasn't let me get as much done as I'd like," Oliver said.

"You have friends visiting, why didn't they stay here," He asked after he put the rinsed dishes in the dishwasher.

"They didn't want to stay in a gay's place, so they got hotels," Oliver said.

"Really, that's rude as hell," Paul said.

"Yeah there's a few reasons I moved, I wish I didn't have too, I love the country but for work and a chance at finding someone, I had too." Oliver said and cleared his plate as well.

"So Paul, Oliver, I was wondering when you two chatted did you try dating," He asked.

Paul shifted in his seat his food probably cold by now, and said, "He never thought of me that way, we have similar interests and all but I don't think we could be sexually compatible."

"Yeah we are looking for guys closer to our size," Oliver said. Paul smelled annoyed again.

Paul must have a thing for Oliver the way I did for Sean, he asked, "so did you guys ever try anything?"

"Trying implies we could have failed, but that's not how cats work," Paul said.

"I don't understand," He said.

"Ah, neither do I," Oliver said and shrugged.

"Really? Oliver, you don't know the saying about being a true hunter," Paul asked and set his fork down.

"You mean, fight unless there's no chance of victory," Oliver asked, "I don't get how that applies to dating in the way your using it."

"You can't fail at being in something you are planning to leave anyway." Paul said finally finished with his food.

Xander stared for a moment, then said, "How can you have a relationship if you live by that."

"That's only one of hundreds of proverbs of the true hunter," Oliver said.

"It's the first and most important," Paul argued.

"True but it's about deciding when to fight, not mate," Oliver said.

"Well there are only two proverbs in the Calicode," Paul said with a gleam of pride in his eyes, "A true hunter knows how to protect what's theirs but also knows when to run, and the second rule, if you can't win, change the game."

"I have never heard the Calicode before, I kinda like that," Oliver said.

"Do Collies or dogs have a code," Paul asked and clear the rest of the table.

"They do, my dad told me it, but it wasn't something we lived by. Like I said my family was in a community pack, my cultural heritage didn't really make sense growing up in the city, well suburbia," Xander said, "I kinda want to look into it now."

"You should, I know understanding my historical culture helped me understand habits and behaviors of cats, all the way up to lions, better," Paul said, "I got to know the way I wanted to respond to things better as well."

"How can you only have two hunting rules, they couldn't fit every situation," Oliver said.

While Oliver and Paul continued to argue the rules of a true hunter, Xander searched 'how to tell you're a border collie.' The first few pages listed first places to get genetically tested, the next pages listed family tree and heritage services, finally he reached pages about physical characteristics that hinted at a collie heritage, not what he wanted he changed his search.

He typed, "what makes you culturally a border collie."

This search pulled up pages of mostly memes.

"You might be a border collie if, you herd your friends but never listen to them." It had a picture of a barricaded crowd.

"You might be a border collie if, you love everyone unconditionally as long as they stay within sight and where you tell them to be." This had a picture of a teacher pointing at a classroom of half-filled desks.

"You might be a border collie if track is your sport." This one had a picture of collies doing a relay race on a track with super imposed sheep everywhere on the grass.

The memes, stupid and offensive, made him search, "what makes you culturally a lion," wait what if they see that and ask, he closed the page.

"The first rule doesn't answer everything, in the Calicode you are expected to be adaptable able to grow and change to the situation. Rather than being trapped by rules." Paul explained.

"Wolves have a phrase they use all the time crouch and roll that seems to be what your rule means," He said.

"Or choose your battles, true hunters rules for tigers forty-seven." Oliver said.

"Well that's why you don't need all those rules they generalize into the Calicode," Paul said.

"I don't think you can generalize who you are to a set of cultural rules like that, I'm a dog raised near wolves, I have a blending of the two cultures but I'm not really either," He said.

"I never knew another Calico, other than my mom growing up, Xander, I never met my dad. I was raised with this culture to help me, and my best friend's dad, that was it," Paul said, "I'm a cat even though a mouse was there to help guide me because of this code."

"You didn't know your father? I can't imagine that, my dad was everywhere and always there," Oliver said.

"He died overseas, my mom and he were engaged and they had plans to get mated during his next extended leave, but he never got to it," Paul said, "I don't know what it's like to have a cat father, to be able to have someone claim me as his cat, but I was never alone, never abandoned."

"I'm glad of that," He said, "and now I don't know what to say, so... let's go for that walk. Oliver, are you coming?"

"No, I do have work to catch up on, and I prefer being a third wheel when people become official," Oliver said and headed back to the office.

"Well Xander, How about you shower and brush your teeth first, then we headout," Paul said.

He got up for his shower. Paul read on his phone while He did his morning routine.

Moments later He stood under the hot water while it wove into his fur.

Even if I am a sheep dog, do I want to be that? He stood there with the water massaging his muzzle, the two cultures that make me, don't have great histories with treating prey well, slavery and murder. What does that make me? And then there's the other.

I don't want to think about it but does that make it worse, He rinsed the lather of shampoo on his belly while it ran off his back.

Oliver and Paul seem to have come to terms with their heritage and even embraced it, and Paul had a mouse for a father figure, he rinsed the rest then shut off the water to shake.

He is so different from Sean but none of its bad, I never wanted to be different, just didn't have a choice, he changed back into his clothes.

"Hurry up the suns not going to be out all day," Paul said to him outside the bathroom.

And in some ways, they're the same, He said, "almost done:"

"Good discovery is not a nudist colony," Paul said.

"You'd love it if it was," He said and brushed his teeth.

They made their way to the car, and chatted about work as they drove to the park. He had texted Sean but not heard anything back from him, fine, he's probably distracted with family. He still could have answered.

"So you were an only child, I grew up with seven other siblings," He said.

Paul pulled into the parking lot wide eyed, "seven, your family Noel must be insane."

"Noel eve is bigger for my family, I'm the second youngest litter so all of the older ones already have mates and pups," He said and climbed out onto the gravel walkway into the park.

From the parking lot the parks edge with conifers, pines, maples and Birches, with blackberry, ivy and assorted other bushes and ferns for under growth stood as the most natural place for miles.

"So, if we did date, would you want me to come to Noel eve with you," Paul asked.

"Its months away but if we are dating you are welcome," He said, "Well I assume you are, I've never brought anyone home."

"Well, I'd show you off to my family," Paul said and took his paw.

"Preferably clothed this time," He said with a squeeze of Paul's paw.

"Lame, that's no fun at all," Paul said.

They moved off the gravel path onto a field of uneven ground filled with tall grass, between them and the trail that led downhill through the woods to the lighthouse.

"So you have probably gathered that Sean's my best friend, who's yours," He asked with the thick earthiness of enclosed trees surrounding him.

"My oldest friend is Jill Greyhouse her dad is the mouse I was telling you about," Paul said and swept his tail to play tag with his.

"Does she live by here," He asked.

"She lives in Portland, I grew up just outside of Portland in Beaverton," Paul said, "and no it wasn't founded by Beavers."

His ears drooped, "I always thought it was."

"A fox named it, because Foxerton didn't sound right," Paul said.

"Really, Wow," He said.

"No not really, that was a joke," Paul said.

"Oh, that's a shame," He said as the trees opened for a view of the water.

"What's a shame, that it wasn't named by a fox," Paul asked.

"No not at all, I was just wishing you had a sense of humor, but I guess you win some and you lose some," He said with a wink.

Paul said, "Please, I have more humor in my right eye, than you do captain sarcasmos," then he picked up his pace.

"If you mean mucus then yes, but that might be a sinus infection," He retorted.

"Oh Ha, Ha, so why are you single," Paul asked.

"Well I'm trying not to be hence this date... you did notice we are on one... right," He asked as he played with a fern frond near the edge of the trail.

"Yeah, I kinda did, but I get the feeling like this is your first real date in a long time," Paul said.

"I don't know if you are calling me awkward and clumsy or refreshingly different." He said while he used a piece of the fern he picked to tickle at Paul's colorful patched neck.

"A little of both," Paul said playfully he batted at the fern, "but you seem so set on being and spending time with me."

"Isn't that how you date," He asked.

"I guess, but I think that is a rare trait, or the people that have it don't stay single long," Paul said.

"But I've been single for years," He said.

"You may have been single technically but I think you were emotionally committed to someone, or were being emotionally satisfied by someone," Paul said, "I was like that with Jill for a while, I love her, but I'm gay, I could never be the everything she deserves."

They walked in silence for a while.

"Did she love you too," He asked.

"I think its 'does,' not did," Paul said, "One of the reasons I moved up here, I gave her space when she found someone."

"I think I might be like Jill, but I haven't had the space, or it's a sheepdog thing, we try and be there for everyone, even when they don't want it," He said.

"I think, I want it," Paul said. They left the woods and walked along the gravelly beach, the spray of the surf seasoned their fur with the smell of the ocean, while their paws grew comfortable held together.

Chapter 8 Sean PoV

Sharron glared at Sean, he asked, "what?"

"You need to do something about that reporter, she won't care about you if she already assumes you're a bigot," Sharron said.

"But I'm not so everything will be ok," He said and picked up the menu again like a shield.

Samantha pushed his menu down and said, "You need to focus on whatever will reduce your stress, as a doctor, I'm telling you it's important after an allergic reaction as severe as yours."

"Right now food would be a big help in reducing my stress," He said then whispered, "and not talking, at all, about this right now."

Both of his sister's hackles rose, Sharron growled, "Better now than when the shit hits the fan."

"I'll put you on Xanax if you don't behave," Samantha growled.

"Damn and here I was fishing for Lithium," He said, "relax would you both."

When the waiter came up Sharron ordered a tofu chicken dish, Samantha ordered fish, He asked, "Can the scallop salad have shrimp added to it?"

"It could be, sir, the 'real,' question would be would you like some added," Their waiter a lynx asked then he leaned his hip on the table edge.

"Ok... yes could I have some shrimp added to my salad," He said taken aback.

"Anything else," the waiter asked.

They signaled no and he moved away from their table.

"What the hell was that," Samantha said her eyes followed the unprofessional waiter stalking his movements.

"A perfect example of why you need to nip this news story in the butt," Sharron said.

"A random guy, probably having a bad day, is your example for systemic prejudices," He said.

"Don't start arguing, agree and move forward you don't need the stress, Sean," Samantha said, "it's probably not a prime example but you shouldn't disregard it."

"A Prime example, Samantha your puns are awful," Sharron said then moved the bread basket for their food.

"I think she should take Pride in her words," He said.

"I hate you both right now, and changing the subject doesn't change the issue here," Sharron said.

The food looked as good as it smelled, the billowing steam when placed before them wetted muzzles.

"Fine I'll do something about it, but I don't know exactly where I should go or what I should do," He said, "call up the station and go, 'hey, I have nothing to hide I'm not a bigot, but don't run a story on me.' That will get them interested."

Sharron smelled guilty after he spoke.

"Sharron did you call the station," Samantha asked as she reached for his and Sharron's paws for the meal time prayer of thanks to the Alpha.

"Maybe, but let's pray, so we can eat," Sharron said.

He hesitated to give his sisters his paw, it only lasted a second, then he took their paws and raised his head with them in a silent howl exposing their throats in submission.

They sat in the awkward silence after the prayer.

"Sean, you still believe in the Alpha, don't you," Sharron asked.

He choked on his first bite, "why do you ask?"

"You didn't want to pray or at least you seemed hesitant too," Sharron said.

"Oh, I go to services with Xander," he said, "but it's not like it's the same as the pack we grew up with, and every time I think about the way they treated me and treated people like me... it just makes it harder to not think of it all and just think of the Alpha instead."

"I'm sorry it's like that for you, when my best friend Erica lost a litter," Samantha said, "there were idiots inside the pack and outside the pack that really made her hurt more over her loss. And the pack should have been safe. They spouted nonsense that if she had loved, herself, her husband, and those puppy's more, she wouldn't have given up on them and let them die. I know it's not the same situation but the same idiotic behavior is being thrown at you both, and again I'm sorry."

"How others treat you shouldn't affect your faith," Sharron said and radiated disapproval.

"I didn't say I don't believe just that it's harder," He said, "and don't think I haven't forgotten you called the station."

"You're right but it does, and it doesn't change the need for faith," Samantha said, "but we do need to be there for Sean, where others aren't."

"Don't change the subject," He said, "being here for me is great and I love you both for it, but you are both meddling, with everything; with my allergies, faith, and the news people. It would have gotten back to normal. But now that you called the news, it's going to blow up in my muzzle."

"You don't know that, but you are right that it could, and it could have whether I had called or not. But you're the one changing the subject now, you say you believe but it's hard, what makes it so hard? You believe or you don't," Sharron said food ignored.

"I wasn't changing the subject I was adding to it, and I find it hard to believe that the Pack is what the Alpha wanted," He said Hackles risen.

"What do you mean, how are they connected," Samantha asked, the reasonable one of the three for once.

"The packs behavior towards people like me, is a symptom of the way they exclude others, cats, mice, eagles, not even dogs, our cousins are worthy of the alpha in the packs eyes. How can the alpha be what the pack says he is if no one's worthy? On top of that the pack is sizeist, and preyist. I'm smaller than both of you and you treat me like I'm defective, but you do that to smaller people too, and if others don't show the fight of a wolf, you walk over them. I do the same and I hate it about myself." He said in a hushed shout.

Samantha said, "Ok we are in public you both need to calm-"

"I can't believe this, you act like everything that's wrong in the world is the packs fault. The pack doesn't glorify those behaviors," Sharron cut in.

"It sure doesn't work to stop them either," He said.

"And now you're both making a scene," Samantha said.

"So your faith was so weak the failings of the pack can make you deny the Alpha," Sharron asked in a growl.

"Who said I was denying the alpha, I said it makes me uncomfortable," He growled.

"When was the last time you actually prayed apart from this meal," Sharron asked.

"Everyone is looking at us, I'm never going to be able to come back here," Samantha said.

"I pray, how often do you pray? And is it always about yourself, that's the narcissism which allows mistreatment. And in the pack, that's where it all comes from, that kind of insular mindedness," He said.

"Everyone thinks of themselves, you're playing the victim to blame others for your unhappiness," Sharron said.

"And now we are going to be asked to leave," Samantha said.

"My problems are mine I didn't throw them at you, you are the one that made them an issue here and now," He said.

"Enough, shut up both of you, Sean isn't supposed to be stressed and I'm not allowing us to be thrown out of the restaurant. Grab your plates, we are moving to the bar so we don't ruin everyone's brunch," Samantha said as she stood and loomed over the table, "Alpha you two are so embarrassing."

"I'm embarrassing, I didn't start this," He argued as he stood.

"So, I caused the embarrassment," Sharron said and followed with her plate, "you're the one that started it by running to the hospital, because of a catastrophic choice."

"Nice one, that pun was great," Samantha said.

"Shut it, that wasn't intentional, if this does hit the news you know mom and dad will get involved," Sharron said.

They sat at a booth in the bar area, the waiter brought over their glasses having cleared the old table.

"Just because mom and dad are putting you and Zach forward to be the next pack alpha couple here doesn't mean you should be so, holy-er than thou," He said, "the alpha male and female are to be strong yet self-controlled."

"You assume the worst of me," Sharron said, "and as an alpha I will be responsible for helping you with your doubts."

"Well then you should let me have them first," He said.

"You're right and I'm sorry... but I'm still going to have to tell mom and dad," Sharron said.

"That will not help the stress thing, Sharron can't you wait," Samantha asked.

"They'll come down and stay with me, please don't," He said.

"It's my duty," Sharron said, "they are the alphas and you are their son."

"You see them all the time their only up in Everett," Samantha said.

"If I address the news thing would you skip the call," He asked, "I've noticed both of you moved away after I came out because I got their full scrutiny, I don't need more of it right now."

"I did no such thing, I moved with a job opening," Sharron said, "so did Samantha, right?"

"Oh, I got out while the getting was good," Samantha said.

"What are you two saying," Sharron asked.

"Mom and dad are mom and dad, I love them, but you were their star child the pride of the pack the head of the litter, Sean was a runt and then, he came out, he has always had to stand under their disapproval. You and I never have. I was a coward and left. You had a very different childhood Sharron." Samantha said, "if I could turn back time Sean, I wouldn't have left. I'm sorry."

"We all grew up together, it wasn't that different, was it," Sharron asked.

"It was different for me than for you but most of the time I thought it was me being male and you two females," He said, "but Samantha's right, I learned to show a strong muzzle and hide everything else."

"You were always first Sharron, and Sean was the last, I felt over looked most of the time I wanted to get away and grow to be me," Samantha said, "we can't go back but we can understand who that makes us now."

"Very philosophical, but I would feel like I was lying to mom and dad if I didn't tell them," Sharron said.

"That's why you're likely to be the next alpha I guess," He said, "I don't feel guilty not telling things I know they would disapprove of, I'm sure Samantha does it too, but you never know she could be a little saint just like you."

"Was it really that bad, I mean mom and dad are good people," Sharron said.

"They sent me to a Howl-Away-the-Gay camp, It doesn't matter how 'good,' a person you are if on the rare occasion you are a raging jerk," He said, "It's because of them, that I learned the need to show a strong muzzle and hid everything else in my life, they thought it was for the best, but all it taught me was mom and dad, will force me to do what they want and be whatever they want me to be, and it's probably why I'm not as close to them even though I live nearby, and why the three of us aren't as close as we were as pups."

"So you can't be in the pack anymore, that's what you're saying," Sharron said.

Samantha took his right paw in hers.

"I'm not in their pack, but I'm in the pack," He said.

"There is only the pack, if you oppose an alpha you are opposing the Alpha," Sharron said and stood.

"Where are you going," Samantha asked.

"I need to think I'll talk to you both later," Sharron said and walked away.

"I guess I'm covering her meal," He said, "I'll have this boxed up."

"I can do it," Samantha said.

"No, I have it, but thanks, you can cover her the next time she freaks out over a meal," He said.

"Noel eve it is," Samantha said, "You know that the pack has been funding my research, right?"

"Yeah I know they voted and got your program a grant or something," He said.

"Yeah they are trying to help people of all kinds, like you said that doesn't make up for the bad things that they're doing, but I think that it shows that they are trying to change," Samantha said.

"How is your research going by the way," He pushed his empty plate away then asked, "And I know it's early but what do you say to drinks?"

"I guess we can since mom and Sharon aren't here, and it's coming along well. My main job isn't actually doing the research, it's mostly patient care, while others are collecting the data, but after this trial is done I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be able to push for the canid trials," Samantha said, "And I wouldn't get your hopes up I don't think this current mix will be able to be adapted to a canid metabolism but well need to do a blood test."

"So what grouping is it made for," He asked then flagged a waiter.

"I can give you all the medical classifications, but basically right now we're doing a very narrow trial on otters and ferrets, hopefully working all the way up to all of the canids," Samantha said.

Their sulky waiter arrived, Samantha ordered glass of late harvest Riesling, while He got a Mojito.

"That's progress, at least right," He asked.

"It is, but it's really potent medicine, and in some way it's like the feline-immune-virus," Samantha said.

"I'm assuming you're not telling me the drug self-replicates in your cells," He said which reminded him to check his phone. He had three new messages from Oliver, one from Xander and two from Sharron.

He set down his phone to listen to Samantha who said, "most definitely not, but I am worried it will cause cancer or something. It shuts down a whole line of processes of the immune system."

There drinks arrived then He asked, "Isn't that how an antihistamine works?"

"No, an antihistamine is kinda like a warehouse manager for a factory saying, no, we're not excepting any more shipments today we're full up, whereas this drug is like the companies closed today and, hopefully not, I burnt it too the ground to bad suckers," Samantha said.

"So not something I should ask Neal to get me then," He said.

"First he isn't in the trial and that's a very very bad idea," Samantha said.

His phone buzzed on the table, he said, "Crap moms calling."

"I hope that's not because of Sharron," Samantha said.

"It probably is what should I do," He said.

"Answer it you are too passive, Sean," Samantha said.

He bared his teeth in a mock threat then answered his phone, "Hi mom, how are you?"

"Sharron told me earlier that we should have a Litterday dinner with you all in town tomorrow, she said it works for her on Sunday, and I know you and Samantha are still having brunch, so I wanted to catch you both at the same time."

"One second mom, I'll put you on speaker phone," he said and made the change then to Samantha he said, "Mom and Sharron think a Litterday dinner tomorrow would be fun."

"Works for me," Samantha said.

"I only have one conflict, I was having dinner at my place tomorrow with Neal and Fred," He said.

"Oh, I like Fred and Neal, that's the Otter and Sheep, right," Mom asked.

"Yes but he is a ram," He said.

"Same thing anyway your father can deal with all of 'that' for a night," mom said.

"By that you mean Sean's gay friends," Samantha asked.

"Of course, what else would I mean? And what time is dinner," Mom asked.

"I planned it for six," He said.

"Your father and I will probably arrive around five to make sure I can help out in the kitchen, see you then Puppies," mom said and hung up.

"Well, I see moms perfectly fine with inviting herself over," Samantha said.

"She has a gift or a curse, but I'm thinking more curse," He said.

"It's almost noon do you still have time," Samantha asked.

"Yeah, I'm just checking in with Xander tonight," He said.

They stayed at the restaurant then walked to a park.

He reviewed the texts, Oliver wanted to drop by to see from an allergy safe distance how he felt, Sharron apologized for leaving the conversation, she wished to know if dinner with mom tomorrow remained the plan. He replied to the messages with affirmative responses and asked Samantha, "Do you think Sharron was offended by the conversation? She texted me an apology."

"She probably was, but from her perspective, she may have felt we were blaming her. She might have taken us saying she had a different childhood than we did as an accusation," Samantha said.

"I'll need to talk to her about it," He said.

"You definitely should, plus you kinda said anything that's bad related to the news is her fault." Samantha said.

"It came across that way? That was not what I meant, I just wish mom, dad and she wouldn't meddle so much," He said.

The groomed parks path took them by a playground, He paused to watch the parents playing with their children.

"You want puppy's right," He asked.

"I do and I don't, I like my Freedom but I want to have a family like I grew up with," Samantha said then swooped down to grab a ball and toss it to the kits that ran for it.

"I want pups or a kitten, but I don't know if I'll get the chance adoption isn't cheap and it's getting harder and harder to adopt big breed types," He said.

Samantha walked down the trail again, then said, "You can get a rabbit their population is well above replacement, they are easy to adopt, and you can't have a kitten you know that."

"I know I just love cats," He said and followed behind her, "and I always pictured myself with a pup or two of my own."

Samantha leaned down and rested her head on the top of his and gave him a hug, then said, "stop slouching, it's bad for your back."

Later after he said goodbye to Samantha, he went to the store for groceries, and texted Xander "Hey, when are you heading over?" He went about his errands.

A few minutes later when he had unloaded his car Xander texted, "I'm at Paul's place, should I shower here or at our place the cat dander and all?"

"Sounds like you had fun, you could shower at our place or if he has fresh towels that would be fine I think." He texted.

"Ok I don't have a car so I'll see if Paul can drop me off or I'll shower here and work from there," Xander texted.

"Sounds good see you soon, I miss you buddy." He texted.

Chapter 9 Xander PoV

Xander walked down the hall Paul told him had the linen closet with the towels. Paul shared the much bigger house then their place with a roommate. The blue old craftsman home on the lakeside of the hill reminded him of his parent's place. Oliver's and Sean's places sat on the sound side of the hill.

"So you're really fine with giving me a ride and picking me up later," He asked.

Paul's answer came faint from the living room, "yeah I like you and I still want you to see dating as an option."

"Oh I think it's definitely looking more and more likely," He said, "oh I found them, be right back." Then he got into the shower, All these showers can't be good for my coat, Paul has the same shampoo as Oliver', must be a cat marketed brand or one that is formulated for them.

He had a great night and day with Paul but he missed Sean. He had soaped his thigh when he realized the he missed Sean a lot, "why do I always miss him like this... He doesn't feel the way I do." He said.

Paul has such a nice ass, a giddy guilt filled knot form in his chest, Sean doesn't love me like that, why do I feel like this, I have nothing to feel guilty about.

He finished his shower then shook, is shaking like that rude to do in a cat house. He finished with the towel instead.

He left the bathroom and found Paul reading in the living room.

Sean said, "Thanks again Paul, I can head home after or we could cuddle and watch something."

Paul's tail danced, "I'd like that, you know how to make a guy feel wanted, I can meet you at your place or pick you up?"

He said, "I don't want to be a bother I can get a-"

"You're not a bother, I can get you, when are you done," Paul asked.

"That will probably be around nine thirty or ten PM," He said, "I wish I could hug you but I just showered."

"I understand, but it's a bummer, let's go," Paul said, "But if you have a friend's thanksgiving that will make helping in the kitchen a challenge."

"Guess you'll be head of house," He said.

"I hate working from home," Paul said, "I can just be a wall flower."

They got in the car and the drive sped past, He could feel his crush on Paul grow.

"You said Jill was visiting, will I get to meet her," He asked before getting out of the car.

"She will insist on it, you are the guy to steal me from her," Paul said with a wink, "now go enjoy your meal. The sooner you do the sooner we get to go spoon."

"Trying to get me hard before you send me off," He said.

"No, that would be a waste I'm trying to get you not to flake on me," Paul said, He got out of Paul's car and waved goodbye.

He jogged to the door then used the door keycard. He ran up the stairs because the very slow elevator in this old building took too long. He let himself inside their place.

"Who's there," Sean called from the bedroom.

"Use your nose," He said then grabbed a soda from the fridge.

"You're coming and going here so often I can never tell when it's you," Sean said.

"You'd know if I was coming believe you me," He said then walked through the long narrow apartment to the bedroom door.

"Yeah yeah yeah, you have amazing gonads, so apparently, my sister is testing a treatment for Otters with shellfish allergies," Sean said.

Sean laid on his belly naked, while he read something on his laptop.

"That's a lame allergy for an otter, and will you ever wear clothes," He said then turned away from the door.

"Why should I wear cloths when the door was locked, you are the only other person with a key," Sean said, "Well I guess my landlord too, and, Mom and Neal but they would call first?"

He leaned against the wall by the doorway then said, "The front door was unlocked, I could have been an ax murderer."

"Ax murdered, if I die let it be original, like with a metal Spork," Sean said.

He slid back to the wall down to the floor, then said, "That sounds slow and painful."

"Yeah probably would be, this research is exciting," Sean said.

"Didn't know you cared so much for otter's diets," He said, he set his soda down and read through the texts he and Paul had sent earlier. He missed Paul, When I was with Paul, I missed Sean, and now the reverse, why can't I be happy where I am.

Sean left the bed room, then said, "this is the research that might help me, did you have a good date, was that the Guy from the restaurant?"

Of course he just wants a way to be with that damn tiger, His attention stolen from the phone he said, "yeah his names Paul, it was a good date but weird the entire time I was with him I kept thinking of-" He stopped reading, Sean stood still naked and bits of him quite close to his muzzle while Sean try to read his texts over his shoulder. his head made a loud crack when he jerked away from Sean's bits.

"Put your damned clothes on," He yelped while he rubbed the back of his head.

"Why? It's like you've never seen one before, but based on those texts you definitely did last night," Sean said then went back into the bedroom.

While he got up He said, "Shut up, you can't just hang dangling dong in someone's muzzle and not startle them."

"There I have underwear on," Sean said from the bedroom, "you never used to care about being naked around me or me being naked around you, what's the deal?"

The deal is I love you and want to touch you but you'll never let me, He went to the couch then said, "Probably puberty and growing up, it's not like we didn't talk about getting together back then."

"You didn't care in college, you were done growing by then or at least I assume you were captain show-er," Sean said.

"I was done but you wouldn't understand," He said.

"Are you calling me dumb," Sean said and marched in the skimpiest briefs He'd ever seen out of the bedroom.

"You call that underwear? And you are an idiot, you only have so much blood and it wasn't going to your brain during puberty, commander grower," He said.

"I don't call this underwear, I call them butt-floss wannabes," Sean said as his tail wagged.

"You don't make any sense you like being nude or wearing something so tight, it looks like revenge of the mummy your junk edition," He said, "weren't we going to have dinner?"

"Yeah, I have a lasagna resting in the fridge I can put it in the oven anytime, but you should try a pair of these they are super comfortable," Sean said and ran back to his bedroom.

"I'm not putting on your underwear, and second you have bigger hips than me," He said then walked to the kitchen and put the lasagna in the oven.

Sean bounded back with a black version of the blue underwear he had on. Sean said, "no these will fit you they sent one the wrong size but I thought I'd keep it because it matches your fur."

"Then I'd look like I was naked," He said while he stayed behind the table away from Sean.

"Come on try them," Sean said then moved to get around the table.

He kept orbit around the table with him, then said, "you can't make me put them on I don't want too."

"Oh come on you'd look great in them," Sean said his tail still wagged as he paced the table.

"That doesn't matter," He said, as pace to pace he matched Sean.

"Looking good doesn't matter to you," Sean asked.

"It does, but it shouldn't matter for us," He said.

"It's not for us it's for the world," Sean said.

"It's not a game Sean, I won't wear them," He barked.

Sean's postured diminished, he tossed the underwear on the table, then said, "Sorry I just thought you might like them."

"I probably would like them Sean but I can't wear them," He said, He grabbed the thin cloth, "why does it have three holes?"

"It's for the tail," Sean said, then sat on the couch, "you're different what's changed?"

"Nothing's changed Sean that's the problem," He said, he stood behind the couch.

Sean craned around, "I don't understand I'm sorry for forcing the underwear on you, I'll return it next time."

"I don't care about the damn underwear, Sean just forget it," He said then he stashed the underwear in his pocket.

Sean switched on the TV and said, "Then what the hell was all that about."

"Just drop it, what are we watching," He asked then sat on the couch.

"You pick I need to put the lasagna in the oven," Sean said.

"That's already done," He said and put South Park on the TV.

Sean asked, "How was the date with... Paul?"

"It was good today we went to the park and last night we cuddled and watched archer," He said.

"Sounds like what we do all the time," Sean said.

He clenched his teeth.

"What's up, you seem distant," Sean said.

"Nothing's up," He said.

"If nothing's wrong, why are you huddling up like an angry spring," Sean asked.

He hadn't realized how tense he got, his nails dug into his opposite forearms.

"I don't know, I'm just tense," He said, taking slow breaths that still made his head dizzy with Sean's cedar scent. He felt Sean's arm slide across his shoulders causing rippling micro contractions down his back.

He pushed Sean away, "stop it."

"Stop what, we always cuddle while watching TV," Sean asked.

"We can't Sean, you are practically naked," He said.

"That was never an issue before, and we've done it, often completely naked," Sean said.

"That's the problem," He said.

"That I was naked, geez, I'll go put on cloths," Sean said, "Then we can cuddle?"

"No it's not that you were naked and yes it was, Sean you don't get it I missed you during my date," He snapped.

"I miss you, when you're not around too," Sean said clearly confused.

His voice broke, "you don't understand, this is not normal."

"You're my best friend," Sean said smelling scared, then gestured between them, "I don't do this with anyone."

His anger kept everything together, "I can't do this with my best friend, this isn't the same for me as it is for you."

"You don't enjoy cuddling," Sean asked.

"Of course I do, this just means something different for me than it does for you," He said then his nose dripped.

"It means everything to me what did I do wrong," Sean said.

"You haven't done anything wrong, you just haven't done right by me and I need to go," He said and got to his paws.

"What the hell, you can't leave, we're having dinner," Sean shouted.

"Sean, I can't do what's happening here, I need space. You love these times together, for you it's all good fun till you find that special guy," He said, "I can't be a place holder."

"But you're doing the same," Sean said.

He walked to the door, Sean ran to get in the way, "let me go Sean."

"No, please," Sean whimpered, "Why... what happened? Tell me?"

"Sean you're not a brother to me but I love you, I think of you all the time, but to you I'm just the brother you never had. To me you're the lover I'll never get," He shouted then pushed Sean harder, "Sean, let me go."

"I love you too, I'm sorry I don't love you the same as you love me, are we still friends, your freaking me out right now," Sean cried.

"I just need some space," He said and pried Sean from the door.

"This is because you aren't my type," Sean asked.

"And what is your type Sean? Even if I was a cat we couldn't be together," He said.

"You aren't my size," Sean said.

He ripped the door open, "I'm not your size, fuck you, you've been given shit all your life for that and you throw that in my muzzle go to hell."

He slammed the door and rushed to the stair well. Sean didn't come after him.

He should come after me, he took the stairs two at a time, no fuck him.

His vision tunneled till he reached the lobby, Breathe Xander Breathe, then left the building.

He heard a wailing howl from the windows several floors up.

Oliver walked towards him on the sidewalk.

"Hey Xander what was that," Oliver asked.

"You shouldn't be here you'll only kill him," He said and passed Oliver. His phone buzzed but he ignored Seans call and texted Paul, "food at Sean's didn't work out, want to get Thai?"

Chapter 10 Oliver PoV

Oliver called down the street to Xander, "what happened?"

But Xander didn't hear him. He stood there for a moment then decided to page Sean's apartment.

He dialed to get Sean's place, no one spoke but the door buzzed open.

"I was hoping for more direction," he said to himself.

Then he texted Sean, "I'm coming up but I don't think I should come in with your allergy and everything."

He didn't want to explain, the everything, but probably wouldn't ever have too.

"We can meet on the landing, or go to the roof or communal balcony." Sean texted then messaged, "but I'm not ready to go out yet."

"That's ok I can text from your landing," He texted.

"Won't that be weird there aren't any chairs or benches," Sean texted.

"Oh I'll be fine, I don't care what people think," he texted, as long as they don't reject me, well and about one thing.

"I wish I didn't care about so many things, you ever wish you were different so you could be there for someone the way that they need?" Sean texted.

"Yeah, I wanted to be a girl because I love my straight friend," He wrote, but changed his mind. Instead he texted, "Yeah, I felt like that about some straight friends, and my parents."

"I think I have been hurting Xander and I didn't know, I think he feels I've been playing with his heart and now he is ignoring my texts and calls," Sean texted.

"That explains what he said when he passed me on the street," He texted as he stood for the elevator, then sent, "why is your elevator so slow?"

"When did you push for it?" Sean texted.

"A minute or so ago," He texted.

"you could probably still take the stairs, if it's not at the first floor by now it's either being used by the cleaning service or broken," Sean texted.

"Is it often like that," He asked.

"Broken? Yes! frowny muzzle," Sean texted.

"You know, I'm fit but I hate stairs," He texted.

"You'll live," Sean texted.

"Are you ok," He asked.

"How can I be ok, my best friend is done with me and I can't be around you," Sean texted.

He stood in front of Sean's door not sure if he should knock being unable to go inside.

He sat and leaned against the door for arms rested on his bent knees to text.

"I wish I could give you a hug," He texted.

"Is that you at the door," Sean asked.

"Yes but I'm sitting against it," He texted.

"Ah my personal guard cat," Sean texted.

"Not a great guard if the door opened I'd fall through, lol," He texted.

"Well if I want to Kitnap you know I know how to do it," Sean texted.

He felt a weight press against the door.

"Threatening to Kitnap a former rape victim is a bit crass don't you think," He texted then pushed against the door more so Sean could feel him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Sean texted then sent, "I wasn't thinking, I seem to do that a lot."

"I was teasing, I'm not offended by you," He texted.

"I want to open the door a crack, to hear your voice," Sean texted.

"Ok, but that would look weird, and the allergens?" He replied.

"It will be ok I can wash my paw, and I thought you didn't care what others thought," Sean texted.

"Yeah that was before I realized I might look like a burglar," He texted.

He felt the weight leave the door and the knob turn. He leaned away from the door as it opened only mere inches.

Sean stuck a boot in the door opening and held out a paw at the doors edge, then the gap narrowed briefly as He and Sean leaned against the door again as if back to back.

He reached across his body and took Sean's paw.

"You know we could get Lycra suits," He said.

"Oh Alpha. What a way to join a fetish community," Sean said.

He squeezed Sean's paw while he pulled at a loose thread of the hall carpet.

"I don't know how else I could hug you," He said, Am I stupid for putting so much energy into this?

"Is it bad that I don't care about my allergies when I'm with you," Sean said.

"Probably, but it's probably worse that I don't seem to care either," He said.

"So we are a sadomasochist couple now," Sean said.

"Well maybe that's not what we should post when going MuzzleBook official," He said.

"My parents would freak out," Sean said.

"Because, I'm a cat," He asked.

"No it's... well yes that too actually, but they couldn't handle me coming out so publicly to the pack like that," Sean said.

"So you're closeted," He asked.

"Sort of I guess, everyone in my family and my friends know, but the pack is huge, and I didn't want to shame my parents," Sean said.

"I disagree but I understand," He said, "if it shames you or your parents it's the people doing the shaming's problem."

"I wish it was so easy to feel that way, but I was raised to seek the Alphas approval and I guess as a result the packs, too," Sean said.

He said, "I was raised by the Primes Witnesses so I understand, and you-"

Sean interrupted, "Mind if I go get something, I'm cold."

"Why are you cold, this isn't allergy related is it," He asked with a chill of his own.

"No, I'm just underdressed," Sean said.

"You're what," He asked then peered around the door, "Sean why are you only in-"

"What the hell is going on here," a female voice He vaguely recognized said.

He crushed his ear when he yanked his head out of the door way and leaned back on the door again.

"Hey Sharron," He said holding the side of his head.

"Oh shit," Sean exclaimed from the apartment.

The weight He leaned against left the door and he fell through and smacked the back of his head on the floor, which put him in a daze.

Sean ran for his bedroom, Sharron stepped over him, then said, "Why the hell are you naked."

"Crap," Sean squawked and slammed his bedroom door, "wasn't naked just mostly, and why are you following me."

"I'm not following you, and cat you should leave," Sharron said. His nose tingled.

"Don't tell my friends what to do, Oliver are you ok," Sean asked.

"I'm fine but your popcorn ceiling is dusty and what's that smell," He asked.

"The lasagna," Sean yelled then burst from the bedroom still shirtless but in a camo shorts.

Sharron rounded on Him, "why are you here you'll get him sick again."

"I've never gotten him sick, I can't get him sick, he is a dog and I'm a cat," He said, weakly, and wobbled up to a seated position.

"What are you talking about," Sharron asked.

He said, "Oh. You meant-"

Sean snapped, "Stop harassing my friends, why are you here?" Then ran back to the bedroom.

"I came to apologize," Sharron said.

"Let me guess you don't like apologizing," He asked.

Sharron glared, "I see why you like him, he is a cat that can stand up for himself."

"I'm a tiger I can handle a wolf," He said then stood.

"Yes, and in Sean's case it requires little effort," Sharron said.

"Character assassinations aside, I accept your apology, now leave I'm having a bad day," Sean said then moved the slightly charred lasagna to the table on a hot pad.

"I'm not leaving you with a cat," Sharron said as she gripped her purse like a cudgel.

"You make it sound like I'm a dangerous animal," He said but he still chose to move to the doors threshold.

"Well, Xander ditched, if you are not going to leave grab three plates and three sets of knives we are eating on the balcony," Sean said.

"I didn't come for dinner," Sharron said.

"I don't want to impose," He said.

"If she isn't an imposition you won't be," Sean said, "and Sharron if you want to apologize that's fine but we need to talk more."

"Fine, wait did you say the balcony? It's windy as hell out there," Sharron said.

"Are you sure, I can go it's no problem," He said, then moved to stand in the hall.

"No, we are going to eat and be civil about it. Follow me," Sean said as he led the way, after pulling on a sweatshirt, with the lasagna and serving spatula in his paws.

He followed Sean down the hall.

Back from the apartment Sharron called, "Wait I don't know where your cutlery is, come back here, I'm not even hungry."

"Should we help her," He asked.

"No, she'll find it. But I needed to delay her minute," Sean said, "He, I have a favor to ask, and it will make you uncomfortable, not now but when it happens. Can you promise not to leave even if the shit hits the fan?"

"Ah... sure," He said, "What do you have planned?"

Sean said, "Oh I want to talk to my sister about-"

"Why are your forks and knives in different drawers that is just annoying," Sharron said with a big blanket and the utensils.

"Wait that's my comforter, why did you bring it out here." Sean said and stopped pulling the table from the corner for their meal.

"I told you this is crazy because it's windy," Sharron said.

"So you grabbed my bed spread? You know what I do in that, right," Sean asked.

She dropped it curling her lip in disgust.

"Where are the plates," Sean asked.

"I had enough trouble finding the knives," Sharron said.

Sean rolled his eyes and collected his blanket, "I'll be right back." And walked down the public hall back to his apartment.

"What is your game here Oscar," Sharron asked.

Confused for a second he said, "oh, Sharron I'm Oliver not Oscar, and I have no game I'm just trying to be a friend."

"That makes no sense at all, you've known Sean less than two days and now you're bff's, please even if you logically know you can't be together you seem to be still trying."

"That may be the truth, but I can't be with him for my own reasons, his allergy just adds to it." He said.

"You prefer your kind or something," Sharron asked.

"That's a rude question and I used too but now I prefer canids, but honestly all of that is none of your business." He said.

She opened her mouth to ask another question when Sean returned, with plates and a different blanket.

"Come let sit and eat," Sean said.

"Are we praying this time or are you still uncomfortable," Sharron asked.

"We will, but we must explain and invite our guest to join, as the next 'alpha' isn't that something you should know," Sean said.

"So do wolves apologize by bickering," He asked.

"No that's a sibling thing," Sharron said, "Oliver do you pray before your meals?"

"I do pray, I was raised a Primes Witness, and I have an older sister but we don't bicker," He said, well we don't talk.

"How do you pray," Sean asked.

"You kind of crouch, bow your head and push your food towards the middle of the table," He said.

"That sounds like your about to pounce," Sharron asked, "How are you submitting to the Alpha then, err, Prime?"

"Felines don't submit and the Prime doesn't expect us too, but we do need to give our share for hunting in his Territory," He said.

"Huh? Sounds kind of cultish to me," Sharron said.

"And being run by a couple that speak the mind of the alpha, who seems to change his mind with each new couple in charge isn't cultish," He asked.

"Ok, well before this leads to a theological food fight, let's meet in the middle, Sharron and I can offer our plates forward with you, if you can show your throat," Sean said.

Sharron crossed her arms and sniffed.

Well this is going to be awkward, He said, "sure sounds great."

She narrowed her eyes and said, "I think you agreed to spite me."

"Remember my name next time," He said.

Sean sat and held out his paws, then said, "Sharron, who's hesitating to pray now?"

"You were far less petulant when we were pups," Sharron said and sat.

He joined them.

"You're far less intimidating now that you don't beat me up," Sean said.

"I never beat you up Sean," Sharron snapped.

"Fine now that you don't threaten to beat me up, we should talk to Samantha she did threaten to drug me," Sean said.

"Sean, this isn't a business negotiation, pray so we can eat," Sharron said.

"So who starts the prayer," He asked.

"Wolves pray silently or in a howl," Sean said while he dished up their plates avoiding the charred bits.

"Cats do roar chants, but a prayer is to thank the Prime for his great territory and boast about the bounty we offer him to share in," He said.

"I'm not going to boast to anyone about Sean's burnt lasagna," Sharron said, "can you do a silent roar?"

"Kinda defeats the point but I'll try," He said.

They all pushed their plates forward, closed their eyes, held paws and raised their heads to the moon.

"Ok let's eat," Sean said.

"Oliver, were you purring," Sharron asked, "I got your name right that time."

"No he was quiet hissing," Sean said.

"I didn't know I made any noise, how embarrassing." He said then took a big bite. It tasted fine but dryer than He liked his food, but dog food could be like that.

"So you and Xander were going to have dinner but he bailed," Sharron asked.

"Yes, didn't you come to apologize for questioning my faith," Sean asked.

His discomfort at their bickering grew, I know I promised to stick it out but he really doesn't need- hey, he sat me in a boxed in seat, that sneaky bastard, Prime Paul will love this guy. What do you need support for anyway?

"How's the food," Sean asked.

Simultaneously He and Sharron said, "Dry and burnt," respectively.

"Might be dry because it's burnt," He said.

"So I'm not the best cook, when I'm having a fight," Sean said.

"You and Xander had a fight," Sharron asked.

"I was overlooking how he felt about me because I didn't feel the same but I'll do better from now on."

"I'm glad you feel that way, you should tell him that too," He said.

"Wait you didn't know he's in love with you," Sharron asked.

"I knew he was attracted to me and I kinda tease him about it, but I didn't realize how deep the feelings were for him. When we lived together in college I thought he moved on." Sean said, "I should have brought out glasses and water."

"Why would you treat him that way he is your best friend," Sharron said.

"Why would the pack treat me differently? Because something about me makes them uncomfortable," Sean asked, then added, "I'm not saying it's right, but just like I need to change so does the pack."

Sharron crossed her arms and leaned back then said, "you are going back to the pack is the root of your problems?"

"No I'm saying we as a society have had belief structures that weren't healthy or helpful for years and the pack has been changed for the worst because of that," Sean said.

"You know others feel the opposite to you," Sharron said.

"That may be true but I'd rather live in a world where people are uncomfortable but treated well then where we have is a world where people actively hurt others to handle their cognitive dissonance," Sean said.

"I don't think I see what you are seeing, how is this culture so toxic," Sharron asked, "I mean I know women's and interspecies rights aren't the best but, it's way better than it was."

"Better is good as long as you don't stop till it works for everyone, a fever of one hundred and two degrees is way better than one hundred and five but you don't quit resting till your truly better and back at nintynine point two," He said.

"I get your analogy but wolves have different body temperatures and you're assuming we know what is the right norm," Sharron said.

"But we do, we know how to treat our own treat others just as well, if someone does not intend malice, forgive, and take responsibility for you own actions and feelings," Sean said.

"You can't assume people will have the experience or ability to know themselves like that," Sharron said.

"I know that they won't, kids and adults that never learned that they are unaware will cause problems, but that's what the pack is there for helping them grow, not to excuse them to continue acting that way," Sean said.

"I don't think the Pride or the Pack will ever be capable of doing that," He said.

"The pack can, it's a grounding force," Sharron said.

"No it's a grinding force, Sharron I haven't told you most of the crap that's happened to me, yes there were my bad choices but the pack shaped the options I saw before me," Sean said.

He shivered in the wind.

"How did the pack trap you," Sharron asked.

"Sharron I knew I was gay, even if I didn't know what gay was since I was thirteen, but I heard it was wrong, I watched mom and dad disparage anything to do with gay people ever mentioned in the media," Sean said.

"So they spoke what they believe, why did you take it so personally," Sharron asked.

"Because I had no one to talk to I was trapped in a home where I felt broken, remember when Samantha caught me on a chat site and dad, locked down the computer," Sean asked.

"Yeah that Dogtracker program was a pain, they put that on there because you went on dirty chats," Sharron asked.

"I went on some yes but they were exciting and terrifying I was thirteen, he never found out about the adult ones, it was a clean chat page for gay youth. Those he freaked out about. He hated me talking to other people that felt the same way I did," Sean said, "because beliefs he learned and lives by in the pack."

"He's the alpha, Sean, he isn't perfect but he did it to protect you," Sharron said.

"He did it because he is a coward and did not want to face the fact that he might have a gay son," Sean barked, "I didn't have options, he locked every way for me to safely talk to gay people and figure myself out, that is why I said I can't be part of the pack."

"You can't be in the pack because dad, parented you, I'm sorry but tough luck that's how parenting works," Sharron said then finished her last bite.

"No parenting would have been him talking to me, parenting would have been him helping me learn in a safe environment, he put me in a kennel, and told me I just needed to try a woman and I would grow out of it," Sean said.

"He was only trying to protect you," Sharron said.

"He failed to do so on so many levels, and to say trying on a woman, like committing your heart and soul to someone was like putting on a shirt," Sean said, "the Pack doesn't allow him to help or understand me, if he had been there the pack would have disowned him, like they are barely tolerating me now, because I'm not vocal about it."

"Well it is more political than it should be," Sharron said.

"Did you ever feel like dad would disown you for being yourself or asking about things you were confused about," Sean asked.

"No, I," she sighed, then said, "I understand the pack and dad put you in a tough place."

"No, Sharron, I can't be in the pack because it put me in a vulnerable place," Sean said, "I had to go to the library and because the local one is pack funded, I could only use Craigslist to talk to other gays and the first guy I met in person raped me."

Sharron sat there mouth half open.

"See I am right, that proves it," Sean said.

"I am sorry that that happened to you Sean, but all I heard here is that gay culture preyed on you and dad was right to protect you from it," Sharron said.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Sean snapped.

"I'm going to go, thanks for the meal, I'm sorry for getting riled up last time, I'll see you tomorrow," Sharron said then rose leaving the blanket on her chair.

"How can you not see that it's the packs fault?" Sean yelled as she walked away.

He fell back into his chair.

"You can't make people agree with you," He said.

"I know but I just wanted her to see the problems with the pack," Sean said.

"You are wrong the pack didn't rape you," He said.

"You're siding with her, you're a cat, Why would you side with the pack after everything they have done," Sean said.

"I'm not siding with them, they aren't good but they aren't intentionally evil, the person that raped you did intentional evil, the pack was neglectful and bigoted which are, or can be, evils of ignorance," He said.

"How can you not see that it's their fault," Sean asked then stood.

"Because I don't know them, they could be everything that you say but what does that change," He said, then stood also, "work to make them who they should be, if you're just focusing on what happened not what should happen you can never change and therefore not change them either."

"I'll need to think about that, do you really need to go," Sean asked.

"Yeah you're doing much better now and I have to get to the gym," He said.

"I don't want to be alone," Sean said.

"I get that, I fucked up a relationship by not telling someone something, but you need to think about it, you can't avoid it," He said then took Sean's paw nuzzling it.

"You are more of a mediator than me right now," Sean said.

"I was just objective, or concussed, do you need help carrying things," He asked.

"If you can grab the plates and serving dish, and I'll get the blanket," Sean said.

They returned to the door, where He held Sean's paw over Sean's mouth and licked the back of his paw, he said, "I'll see you soon Rogue."

Sean grinned, "bye Gambit."

Chapter 11 Sean PoV

Sean settled into his couch and reread Oliver and his messages.

"Why do you spend time with homophobic friends, I love my family but notice I avoid them so I don't have to deal with it." He read.

"If they never know a gay man, they won't know who they hate." Oliver texted.

"So it's self-sacrificial? Doesn't that make them think what they do or say is ok? 'Oliver is fine with it? It's not a problem.' kinda thing." He read.

"No I call them out when they cross the line," Oliver texted.

He scrolled to their most recent conversations but couldn't think of anything to write then exited to the rest of his messages, Damn, I haven't messaged Xander since my party and the allergy attack, is that what set him off? The dishes in the sink and could wait but he couldn't. Xander had ignored his last several text messages, and he processed Oliver's words about the Pack.

I'm not calling the pack out when they cross the line, I'm hiding I guess, but how can I do this, how can I change things. I should just message Sharron, he switched off his phones privacy setting that he used to think. An e-mail Notification dinged on his phone. Samantha's research colleague he contacted without telling her messaged as a prospective volunteer.

"Dear Mr. Miller,

Thank you for your interest in the research. To participate in the project, you can contribute at www.breathoflifeimmunology.org your donation will help us in the ground breaking research that we are doing to make cross species medications for immuno stability. Breath of Life is happy to be partnered with Mayo Clinic and the Baylor Institute, with your contributions we can bring more species into the research, all donations are currently being match by the Allergy and Asthma Foundation of America, the AAFA.

You can also see the amazing progress we have been making in Allergy and Immunology research by visiting the Breath of Life Project Otter page, www.breathoflifeimmunology.org/start_otter/. Thank you for all the support.

Sincerely,

Dr Hanson MD, RT, PHd of Immunology

Mayo Clinic Primary

Baylor Institute Joint Projects Liaison

_______________________________________________________________________

Hello Mr. Miller,

We have not moved into Canid trials, but as you are interested in participation, we will need a saliva and blood sample. Luckily for you our Allergist is on vacation in the Seattle Metro Area, she is available to meet for a sample collection Monday at 3:30PM if this will work. I forwarded your information to Dr Samantha Miller so she can follow up with you directly.

Sincerely,

Anastasia Jefferson, RNP

Colorado Allergy & Asthma Center P.C."

I'm an idiot, his phone buzzed several more times, but he just sat on the couch and ignored it. However, Samantha never gave up. He got up and checked the messages. He had a voicemail and a couple texts, and five calls with no voicemail. He preview read the texts.

Message 1 - "Sean!!! What the hell is my nurse practitioner doing setting us up for a sample collection?!? -_-"

Message 2 - "we talked about this, it's not ready for canid trials and why would you go behind my back like this!"

He unlocked his phone then opened it to his messaging app.

"Crap crap crap!"

His phone rang again. He clicked to ignore the call.

Message 3 - "I have a read receipt that you read the messages, answer your phone before I show up with needles and none will be for samples"

He texted back, "that breaks your oath as a doctor."

She texted, "I'm your sister first."

His phone rang again.

He let it ring three times before he answered, "Sean here, who may I ask is calling?"

"Who else would it be, and what the hell?" Samantha asked with a growl.

"I'm tired of being in the sidelines." He said.

"Kay, let's try a complete thought this time. What are you feeling sidelined in? Top of the line research? Because I'm sorry, but everyone without an MD generally is, for this field," Samantha said.

"I want to do something about it, you took a cheek swab years ago but the research has moved forward, they can do blood tests and all that," He said.

"This is my life's work, I know all of the processes, they need to be above board in everything that's involved," Samantha said, "I don't jump into your career."

"Only because you don't have a reason too, are you telling me I don't have a reason to get involved in my health," He asked.

"No you have every right but this isn't about your health this is about your infatuation with that cat Oscar," Samantha said.

"Tiger and Oliver, why do you both keep screwing up his name," He asked.

"So that's a yes this is about a crush," Samantha asked.

"Yes... No... I don't know I just want to be normal in some way," He said.

"Well good luck no one's NORMAL, come on Sean, even if you do the research, will he wait for years for the potential of a physical relationship, there is no guaranties here Sean," Samantha said.

He paced the living room.

"I only had a few consistently good things in my life, my work, Xander, and the gym," He said.

"Xander's pissed at me, I don't want to be a workaholic like dad, and I'll see Oliver at the gym every day and be no closer to ever being with a guy like him," He said.

"Wait why don't you include me or the family as good things in your life," Samantha asked.

"Because I feel emotionally scarred by dad and the pack, and controlled and manipulated by Sharron, you and mom," He said, a cold flash ran through him.

"Well I didn't realize we were so completely horrible to you," Samantha said.

"You're not horrible there was conflict and stress with the family," He said.

"Well you'll have to learn to deal with that in a more productive way," Samantha said, "Isolating and avoiding things isn't fixing the issue."

"I'm working on it, I'm trying to talk about these things now, and take charge," He said.

"Fine, I can get the sample tomorrow at the dinner. You should have talked to me Sean," Samantha said.

"Would we be getting the sampling done if I had talked to you first," He asked.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Samantha said.

"Ok love you Sam, I didn't mean to step on your digits," he said she already ended the call.

She must see that I need this, she's probably not going to listen right now, He instead searched the news to see if he made that big of a scene. Not able to find anything he sat on the couch, with nothing to distract him from his feelings and fears.

Alpha, Why did I think telling Sharron was a good idea? I couldn't tell mom or dad... I would hurt them. Like I hurt Xander... what do I do, how can I get Xander to talk to me again? He never came home I thought we'd talk then. He tossed his phone to the other side of the couch. I hate this, I feel so lonely without Xander. Will Oliver be a friend it's not like we can really hangout, He grabbed his tablet and perused the same photos Xander teased him for earlier.

They didn't do anything for him today.

I'm wearing clothes, why am I wearing clothes? Wow, I don't want to get naked, If I don't get naked because I like it why was I doing it all the time? then he got on MuzzleBook. Oliver and Paul accepted his friend requests.

He MuzzleBook stalked Oliver, then Paul with a review of their recent photos, and posts.

Oliver posted in the gym and even had one with himself in the background in the gym mirror. He tagged himself and commented.

"I see we have similar routines."

Paul's profile listed many photos from Portland and high school, in most of them, Paul stood with a doll sheep, and a Rat Mouse hybrid. But the most recent we're photos of Paul and Xander at Discovery or solo pics of Xander shot like the photos of the doll sheep.

He heated, and tasted a sour dryness in his throat.

But the shirtless photo of Xander and Paul cuddling on Oliver's couch made him throw the tablet next to his phone. Xander's dark erratically ruffled fur all matted with static, looked more like a mane than ever before, his handsome muzzle in profile the only thing that let you know him for a dog. Paul looked good and their coats complemented each other.

Oliver spotting that guy on bench is pretty hot, I wonder who took the photo? Whoever took it caught his back so good, I want to feel those chiseled back muscles they show through both his fur and that tank top. He imagined Oliver standing over him like Xander normally did spotting him. Oliver had Xander's big bulge. The idea got a stir in his pants.

He pictured Xander again, smiling down at him, then they stood muzzle to muzzle again Xander screaming, "I'm not your size, fuck you, you have been given shit all your life and you throw that in my muzzle, go to hell."

He grabbed a throw pillow and held it tight, then smacked himself in the muzzle several times. When Xander yelled at him he stood there frozen. Xander left before he came back to himself, it's not your size that's the problem, it's me and it's not your fault.

"I want my size... so I don't get hurt and can't hurt you," he said to himself choked up. He had a long cry, while thinking about his rape and how it had ruined him till he fell asleep. He dreamed of Oliver standing over him, nose full of his wonderful cinnamon scent, but with a mix to it, kind of Piney. This dream Xander he didn't have to worry about being safe around, this one he could be rough with, one that wanted him to be rough.

He shook his head, "Not Xander, I can't and I won't do that to him not ever."

They were back on Oliver's couch with Xander trapped under him, yelping and scrambling to get away. His strength and broader shoulders helped him grabbed Xander's paws and pinned them over his head, while He put his teeth around the back of Xander's neck. Xander whimpered in fear. Oliver and Paul stood watching by the couch. He heard his own voice call out, "No. Stop Please, NO."

Now Paul lay pinned underneath him squirming tail teasing his hard cock. Paul's struggled and screamed in pain as He forced his way into him. He could hear Xander and Oliver's approval which drove him the rest of the way forward. His heart raced as he quickly approached the edge. Then Xander forced his own way into his ass. It tore him, not the first time he hurt like this but it got him closer because Xander did it, Xander hurt him. Then he choked on Oliver's thick cock while Paul lay crying under him. Oliver and Xander erupted into him, which sent him over the edge, he reached orgasm spraying his chin which awakened him. As his breath normalized his mind recoiled from his fantasy. His guts retched crushed in an inquisition bear trap of pleasure and disgust. He ran to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. I'm horrible how could I get off on that, any of that.

Chapter 12 Xander PoV

Xander left the service at ten fifty AM with a few songs listed up next on the screen, Sean never came, find a friend had Sean back at their place, but why should he care. Before he left for the service he asked Paul to join him.

Paul said, "I'm Pridian, if anything it's too different from a Pack service, I'll just stay home."

His first service alone left him lonely, Alpha that message was flat and the songs mechanical. I wish there was someone harmonizing with me. No fuck you Sean.

"I'm not going to be a tool for him," He said nails sunk into the cover of his songbook. He dropped off the book hoping no one would notice the marks he left.

He headed to the exit nearest to his bus stop and waved at Ashley and Rachel who greeted him heading in to the next service as he left.

He texted Paul, "my service is over did you want to get lunch?"

"I made lunch enough for the both of us. Coming back over?" Paul texted.

"I'll head right over, how was the podcast," He asked.

"It was kind of lame the preacher got all political and how prey rights aren't as big of a deal now that we have reached equality," Paul texted.

"So a guy with his head in the sand?" He texted.

"More like her head up her own ass, I can talk when you get here I need both paws for a bit," Paul texted.

He boarded his bus, should I still be this angry, I mean I never told him how I felt... no, I made my feelings clear, he always shot them down.

The city moved past as the stop and go rhythm of the bus continued. Rain drops pattered distorting the views.

I can think rationally when I'm calm but I get angry every time I think of him, He texted Paul, "do you think being treated like a disposable emotional band aid is a good reason to be angry?"

He put away his phone, Don't text Sean that lets him win it's what he wants.

I love him, I hate him, how can I do both, the rest of the ride he spent intentionally not thinking about yelling at Sean and how sad it felt to hear his howl or how vindicated he felt hearing Sean's pain.

"Tomorrow, I'll need to get the work station set up and get copies of the templates the city uses for ad campaigns," He said, fogging the window, they better have copies... have they ever done a campaign like this? Did Sean make this happen for me. No stop that, think about Sean tomorrow when you see him. He got off the bus at a convenience store near by Paul's place and trudged through the thick rain shower.

I wonder how we'll get the city to move on this plan, it requires very little capital but a ton of buy in, he pulled his coat tighter around himself. Alpha, Sean's the one who's going to get all the buy in, will it be awkward working together now.

He stopped under a tree when the rain picked up, Why can't I stop thinking of him?

Samantha told him yesterday, "We met you because a Tabby kissed him."

I wonder what that kits name was? He must have felt something once he yelled at me for having a crush on another boy. He stuck his paw out into the drizzle, Then 'it' happened. He disappeared into his room then camp for weeks.

He continued his walk, I waited, I wish I hadn't freaked out at Sean then... why has he been leading me on. I'll have space like Paul did I need to move on.

He neared the turn to Paul's one car driveway, I can _'__ t believe I argued with him after the ER for kissing someone else, am I angry cause I'm jealous, or is it because I feel like I'm cheating when I'm with anyone else... I set that whole thing up, this is his fault but I let it happen._

He knocked at the door.

Tanner Paul's grey eyed red-tailed vulpine roommate opened the door, "Hey Xander, I see you're back, what was it like two hours? Must be a record since you two melded."

"I just like the guy, is that weird," He asked with a glare to counter Tanners smirk.

"No, you're a herding dog, I hear you all can't be alone," Tanner said.

"Well I guess that's true, most dogs and wolves are like that. Are foxes not that way," He asked then hung his coat on one of the pegs to the left of the door.

"We still prefer a group but we can be a loner for a little while, but just like with dogs it's a stereotype that's true more often, than not. The only question I have is are you moving in, or am I going to need to get another roommate," Tanner asked.

"Things are still new, Paul and I have chatted for a while but we have only gone on two dates," He said.

"Dates that barely ever end," Tanner said and scratched through his tail, "I didn't even know what happened to Paul till you guys came over after the park."

"Kept you up worrying," He asked.

Tanner laughed, "No, but LGBTCupid made me think he finally got with Oliver their profiles were together like all night. I never saw you on there."

"I normally use Growler, Paul and I met on there then he helped me set up my friend's litterday," He said, Is Sean alone? He can't be with Oliver... damnit stop thinking about him.

Tanner headed off to his room, probably to play guitar which seemed like the only thing Tanner ever did according to Paul. He marched up the stairs to the living room. Paul stood by the kitchen counter fanning two cake layers.

"Hey Paul," He said cheeks warm, "What are you making?"

"I made Sean a birthday cake there wasn't one at the party and everyone deserves one," Paul said, "I wore gloves and a furnet, and everything."

"Damn I was hoping you were making a kinky fashion statement for me," He said, "And I don't think you needed to make a cake, Sean and I aren't talking."

"You mean you're not talking to Sean, he's tried both calling and texting and you've been ignoring him." Paul said, "I may be new to knowing you both, but you two need to talk and it's hard to fight while eating cake."

"It's a nice idea but I'm really not ready to see him, I'm irrationally angry and I don't want that to get in the way when we talk," He said, "I'll talk to him at work tomorrow."

"Ok, then I can let these cool naturally but I still want to take the cake over today," Paul said then took off the gloves and gave him a warm hug.

"That's fine, he'll appreciate it I'm sure, I'll get you his address when you need it," He said, why is everyone on his side, "So why are you leaving the netting on?"

"It's a bitch and a half to put on and I... Oh, shit, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't say that," Paul said.

He chuckled sitting down at Paul's dining room table, "no you shouldn't and your apology is accepted."

"You can forgive me but can you forgive Sean, I don't really know him, and I'm just starting to know you, but whatever's wrong seems to be eating you up." Paul said then rubbed his ears with a wrist, "You can't scratch with this on though."

Paul gave him a hug and liked his ear, "You have a gift," He murmured happily.

"I have attentive eyes and my paws listen to them," Paul said then sat slowly on his lap.

"Your paws are amazing and so are your kisses but you're nice too," He said then licked Paul's cheek and nuzzled.

Paul vibrated as he purred, "I don't know where or what you want, kits, pups, house, and future, but I want to talk about them with you and see where we can go."

"You know the you're the only person I talk about those things, well other than Sean," He said.

Paul's purring stopped abruptly, "were you guys dating, I thought you were single?"

"I am, Sean and I have never dated, we have been friends since we were kids, I guess I have feelings for him, but..." He said and shifted Paul, and cradled him in his arms.

"He doesn't feel the same," Paul asked.

"No, well maybe I don't know, he flirts with me and I smell he is attracted to me at times, but then he gets sad and won't tell me why, it drives me crazy that he single mindedly pursues people he can't have." He said then squeezed Paul, "I need the restroom."

Paul smelled uncomfortable He asked, "What's wrong?"

"I just know how you feel, Oliver and I chatted for quite a long time before he moved out here and I kinda have feelings, but he's not into me or something," Paul said, "Go to the bathroom."

He squeezed Paul's paw, "He doesn't know what he is missing."

"Neither of them do, hurry up before I have to wash the floor," Paul said.

"Fine, fine," He said and hurried to the bathroom.

Paul is such a nice guy, I could see him being a great dad, I should find out if he is planning on pups, he washed his paws when he finished.

When he left the bathroom, he bumped into Tanner again, "oops sorry about that."

"It's no problem, you have a sec," Tanner asked.

"Ok..." He said.

"So you were at Oliver's but you have a place right," Tanner asked.

"My place, Sean my... friend is allergic to cats," he said.

"Ah so if you and Paul date you move in here," Tanner asked.

"Maybe I have another place near my company's office in Woodinville."

"But you also live with this Sean," Tanner asked.

"I don't know I just hang out where other people are, he was here so I kinda moved into the spare room," He said.

"Wow is it cause of your breed, I haven't heard of people doing that," Tanner said.

"Maybe he and I have always practically lived together," he said.

"It's true, I thought that article was a joke," Tanner said.

"Article? I don't know what you are talking about," He said.

"Just learning about your breed, apparently, you will definitely be sticking around," Tanner said then waved and wandered off.

Do I act like those memes about dogs, am I so focused I don't see everyone else? Or is it the none dog part... I hate not knowing what I am. When he got back to the kitchen Paul had donned new gloves and iced the cake.

"Wow that looks tasty," He said.

"Well if you came with me to drop it off maybe you'd get some," Paul said.

"So your roommate seems to think I'm a walking talking sheepdog stereotype," He said.

Paul paused tilted his head in thought and nodded, "yeah, you kinda are but it's cute but you don't look like... never mind."

"Crap I don't even know it," He said.

"And that's why it's so cute, can you pass me the blue icing piping bag, its next to you on the counter," Paul asked.

"Tell me how I'm like a stereotype," He asked and passed the bag of icing.

"That would spoil it," Paul said while he rotated the cake adding blue swoops.

"No it wouldn't, it would help me with an obvious blind spot," He said.

"Ok but only because you're cute," Paul said, "finished, now to box it up."

He watched and waited while Paul boxed up the cake. He asked, "So are you going to tell me?"

Paul tore his gloves when he took them off then said, "Yeah I just wanted to get this all off."

"But you look good in a furnet," He said.

"You say that till your nails get stuck," Paul said then sat in a chair by him, "so you want to know the weird ways that you're yourself?"

"Yeah kinda, I feel it's good to know yourself," He said.

"Good, I agree," Paul said, "so do you have an apartment?"

"Yeah I invited you to it, it's just not close by," He said.

"When were you last there," Paul asked.

"Uhm, a couple weeks ago," He said.

Paul burst out laughing, "Sorry, sorry, you're more of the stereotype than I thought, why did you go home a couple weeks ago?"

"My phone reminded me to get the mail and pay my bills," He said annoyed.

Paul laughed again, "you have a reminder to go home, you are so cute."

"Ok now I'm just feeling like you are mocking me," He said and bristled.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting that but it fits with the stereotype," Paul said.

"Which is," He asked with a growl.

"Calm down, the stereotype is that sheepdogs don't really have a home they just float around, couch surfing, and kind of sticking like a tick to whoever is their current person," Paul said.

"I have a place," He said.

"Which you haven't been to in weeks," Paul said.

"All my friends have guest rooms, and I have keys to their places," He said.

"Interesting so my question is why did you feel nervous staying at Oliver's," Paul asked.

"I don't know him well, my friends just never kick me out, I pretty much lived at Sean's house growing up, and now my friend's places," He said.

"You're there even when they want to be intimate," Paul asked.

"I can smell that and go to the guest bedroom, well except for at Sean's he and I were generally the single ones. So, there was never really a need to go to the guest room. Do you think I'm a big mooch," He asked.

"No you just stay with your herd," Paul said.

"There my friends, who I guess I live with," He said.

"Why the sad muzzle, they seem to get it, you have keys so they trust you," Paul said.

"Oh that's not it, I don't know I feel weird," He said.

"Would a key for this place make you feel better," Paul asked in a singsong way.

"Either you are mocking me or I'm very non-threatening," He said.

"Why can't it be both," Paul said.

"I don't know, the stereotypes are offensive, I don't want to be one, and it's cause I'm not a..." He said.

"Is it because the stereotypes are mocked," Paul asked.

"Yeah, I like who I am but I don't like being degraded for it," He said.

Paul shifted uncomfortably, "I'm sorry I laughed," he said.

"It's not you, I'm realizing that I have been living differently than I thought I was," He said, "self-actualizing is weird, and thanks for the apology."

"So, how was your service," Paul asked.

"It was lonely, I sat and sang alone for the first time in more than a decade," He said then took Paul's paws, "I kinda wished you and Sean were there, I know it's not your culture but I wanted to sing with you."

Paul smelt embarrassed and said, "uhm, we could do karaoke tonight, but I'm not a great singer. You should come with me to drop off the cake."

"I... I'll see Sean tomorrow, I still want to think," He said.

"Can you text me the directions," Paul asked.

"I can give you my key," He said.

"No, I don't know Sean, the directions and paging code will be fine," Paul said.

"Ok, want to cuddle and watch something," He asked.

"Do you mean Netflix and chill or watch something," Paul asked a glint in his eyes.

"Why not both," He asked.

"Just because my roomy is gay, doesn't mean I want them to see how big I can take with no complaining," Paul said.

"Is Bi, your roommate is bi," Tanner called from the other room.

"Go back to playing your guitar," Paul said, then whispered, "Damn fox ears."

He chuckled, "Yeah, I was surprised how long you took it for, you're a champ, do you have tons of massive dildos or something?"

Paul pulled him to his paws, "shut it, or we are just watching the movies."

"Heaven forbid," He said as he followed Paul to his bedroom, "you know I really do like you?"

"So I'm a keeper like Sean," Paul asked and pulled Him onto his bed across from the tv on his dresser.

"Yeah I want you both," He said but Paul smelt surprised, "what."

"Am I a replacement best friend," Paul asked.

"I... don't know, but I think I would like you regardless," He said.

Paul stopped pulling away and leaned back into his arms. Paul said, "I think I'll like you regardless too."

Chapter 13 Sean PoV

Sean yawned.

"Honey are you ok, you look horrible we could reschedule," mom said.

"No it's fine mom, I just haven't been sleeping well," He said then swooped down to grab the bags from dad before they fell.

"What's wrong sport, oh, where's Xander, you two doing ok," dad asked.

"Something like that," He said uncomfortably, "why did you carry all this at once?"

"Because your elevator might be my personal version of purgatory here on earth," dad said, "I'm sorry son, things will work out you two have too much history for whatever's going on, to be a real obstacle."

Alpha, he has no idea what's wrong, it's his fucking fault, now I'm just fucked up, he shrugged and said, "We aren't even boyfriend's dad."

"But he lives with you," Dad asked eye brows knitted.

"Well sort of, his place is on the Eastside and not even near the lake, it's just a long drive, so he stays here mostly," He said.

"Well it's good of you to let him sleep over," Mom said, then she gave him a dirty look after finding Xander's abandoned soda, "With two people here you should have twice as many paws to keep the place clean."

"Or make it messy," He said. He paced the room wanting to do things to get ready. He played with his phone spinning it in his paw, Should I call Xander or text him. He's missing dinner, with everything ready and the table half set and mom took over the kitchen, her idea of helping. Are you reading them? Why did you turn off read-receipt Xander?

"So sport, do we have enough seats," Dad asked.

"Oh yeah," He ran to the closet by the front door and pulled out folding chairs and the table extender, "it's only five of us till Neal and Fred get here, and with the table full sized, we can sit at least eight."

"Good honey, maybe you should call Xander then we'd have the normal six and your friends," mom said, "do you have a table cloth?"

"Uh... I have a bed sheet," He said.

Mom tisked, then shrugged and said, "Well it's not like you even want a wife, but I hope whoever 'he' ends up being, I hope 'he' likes being neat."

"I think I'll have more important details on my mind like, life goals, interests, and, se- oh... ah never mind," He said the fur on his neck raised as he flushed.

"Oh son, I know what you mean it's important to find that person you can share everything with and explore bodies and minds and pray for, with and during," dad said.

He cringed, Alpha dad please don't talk about praying during sex again.

"What's wrong honey," Mom asked and set the table.

He lied unwilling to explain he had pictured dad praying during sex with her, instead he said, "oh I'm just remembering every stupid thing I said to Xander recently." Which made him cringe again.

"Was it a bad fight honey," Mom asked.

"Yes and no, I didn't realize it was a fight, I guess, till he was leaving, and now he won't text me or call me back or even answer his phone," He said and filled one of his water pitchers.

"What was it about," Dad asked then put the prepped turkey in the oven.

"I didn't realize how he felt and kinda took him for granted," He said.

"You didn't know he was in love with you," Mom asked.

He passed her the napkins and sat at one of the chairs, then said, "I did but I... I wasn't, well, I expected him to be looking for someone else like I was."

"Do you love him but not in that way," Mom asked, then set out the utensils.

He flushed, then said, "I do love him but I don't know if I do in that way, I don't think I could anymore. I never let myself think of him like that. He's like family but also more than family." his blood drained and he shivered at the familiar cold feeling of his right arm.

"That's the person you want to find those feelings in common with, then the love is better than it could be and brews as you find ways to love each other more," mom said then clasped dad's paw.

"Sport, your mother knows what it's like to be with someone she doesn't love it's made her wise," dad said.

"I know she joined the pack as an adult it's just... complicated," He said while rubbing his cold arm.

"If it wasn't complicated, love wouldn't be interesting," mom said. Then the buzzer by the front door went off to let someone in the building.

Mom said, "Must be Sharron and Samantha."

"I got it," He said and hit the intercom, "this is unit four twenty three, to whom are you paging."

"Oh Alpha, Sean you're so pretentious," Samantha said.

"Watch your language," dad snapped.

Samantha said, "Sorry dad I didn't-,"

"Think, which is typical," Sharron interrupted, "Anyway let us in."

He buzzed them in.

"See your heart is like that buzzer, if you give permission anyone can come in," mom said.

"Sadly your mom was a thief, she burgled me," dad said.

"Please don't talk like that," He said, "My friends will be here, so embarrassing," while walking back to the kitchen to check on everything again.

"What? You find your parents flirting embarrassing," Mom asked with a coy smile for dad.

"If embarrassed means uncomfortable then, yes," He said.

Dad chuckled.

"Hey honey, you set to many places at the table," mom said.

He paused then put away Xander's normal seat. He half wished that he had rescheduled the whole night, I want to sleep, I need to sleep, you'd just have the nightmares again or that fantasy, I-I'll have more coffee.

"-it was always like that, he's just shy," Samantha said when she entered, "hey all, it's like he just expects me to be the assertive one all the time."

"Ethan problems," Sharron said to everyone not in their conversation, "at least he doesn't expect you to be a puppy factory."

"Where's Xander," Samantha asked, "I was expecting the usual, 'you should just be happy you can have puppies.' If Ethan made more he'd feel the same way I think. Hey Sean, where's Xander?"

"Not here, and I'm happy to see you both," He said, then sulked in his seat.

"Sean we have to love you we are related, I get to like Xander. I guess you haven't patch things up," Sharron asked.

He said, "Mom maybe you were right about cance-"

"How is your research going honey," mom asked cutting across him.

"Great apart from having to work tonight," Samantha said indicating a medical bag.

"Oh please, don't bring that up Sam," He said.

"Bring what up," Dad asked.

"Oh, Sean wormed his way into my research," Samantha said.

"I thought you said it wasn't ready for the broad canid trial," Sharron asked with a glare for him.

"I'm sorry, I just hate my allergy," He said, and everything else.

"Is he still trying to date cats," Mom asked.

"No,-Yes," He, Samantha and Sharron said together.

"You know that's dangerous," dad said.

"I know and I'm not dating a cat, I just kinda, have a crush," He said.

"Is that why Xander's angry," Mom asked.

"Well maybe but he went on dates with someone else the last three days, anyway I don't want to talk about it," He said, "let's sit at the table or on the couch."

"How does that make you feel," Dad asked.

"Comfortable," He said, "it's a good couch very sturdy."

"That's not what dad meant, come on Sean," Samantha said.

"What is this, an intervention," He asked, "I don't want to talk about it."

"So, uhm, Samantha Sharron," mom said, "come help me in the kitchen."

Damnit mom, it's my kitchen, stupid gender roles.

Dad came over to talk to him.

"I'm going to get my mail I haven't grabbed it in a few days," He said, then brushed passed dad before dad could pull him aside.

He jogged down the stairs,why can't they all just drop it?

He got the mail out of the wall box, quite a lot to carry. His phone buzzed, It must be Xander, he scrambled to get it out of his pocket and shifted the mail but nearly dropped his letters and the boxes in the process. His grasping catch of the boxes, flung his phone across the entry way as he continued to juggle his mail. He heard the phone crack and skitter, broken screened across the floor.

"Alpha Fucking Damnit," He yelled as he dropped everything else as well.

He grabbed his phone. But it wouldn't turn back on. He slipped it back in his pocket, clenching and unclenching his paws, What if that was Xander, no he wouldn't have called, why would he have called now, but I'll miss texts or calls if he does. The door buzzed open and Paul came into the landing.

"Paul, Uhm, what are you doing here," He asked ice running down his spine, Stop freaking out he doesn't know what got you off last night.

"Are you ok Sean you look horrible," Paul said.

"Yeah, Thanks," He said unable to look Paul in the eye.

"Sorry... I hope you're ok, anyway I made you a Litterday cake, you didn't have anything at Purrfection," Paul said.

"I can't eat that, but thanks," He said coldly shifting a step further away.

"I used gloves and a furnet, I was more cautious then they are at the restaurant," Paul said.

He felt like vomiting again, Paul was screaming to get away why would you do that. "You shouldn't be here, or around me," He said, Get him to leave he isn't safe with you you're not safe with smaller guys.

"Because of Xander? Is it because of him," Paul asked.

He stepped back away, then said, "why, why would you say this is about Xander, it wasn't his fault. It was me."

Paul stood there a moment then said, "I don't understand Sean are you ok, seriously?" then stepped toward him.

He recoiled, and said, "I, I just need sleep."

"Do you need help, I mean you dropped your mail?" Paul asked.

He said, "My mail yeah, uhm I need to go."

"Sean what's been taking so-. Who is this," Mom asked as she came around the stairwell door.

He croaked, "mom this is Paul, Paul this is my mom."

"Hello Mrs. Miller, I've heard a lot about you, I brought Sean and your girls a Litterday cake, since they didn't get any at the restaurant Friday," Paul said then showed her the box.

"That's so sweet of you but Sean can't-" mom said.

"I wore a furnet and gloves, please would you take it up," Paul said with a worried glance at him.

He didn't speak but his heart raced, his right arm tingled ice cold.

"I'll take it, I'm sorry but with Sean's recent allergy attack I can't invite you up," mom said and collected the cake from Paul.

"That's ok, hopefully we all can go to the arboretum sometime, open air should be safe. I'll see you later Sean, when I see Xander I'll tell him to call," Paul said and exited the building.

"Yeah thanks," he said, but Paul already left.

You got hard from Xander but it was from thinking of... Alpha help me, what should I do, he grabbed his mail then walked to the stair case.

"Honey, I can tell something's wrong, and I feel like it's more than you've been telling me," Mom said.

"I'm not fine mom, but I just can't talk about it, please I just need a few moments alone, I'll be on the balcony," He said.