Through the Looking Glass: Chapter 7-A
Lord of Games: Chapter 7
"Oh, silence, you crazy bots! I'll have you destroyed, lots and lots!"
"Shut up, Grunty! You're not helping our case any!"
"You should shut up too, you great sack of poo. You get to hurt me then, now you've tipped the writer's pen!"
"PERCENTAGE OF SENSE MADE BY STRANGE WITCH PERSON: 0%. SUGGESTED COURSE OF ACTION: SILENCE STRANGE WITCH PERSON."
And before the partially mechanical witch could reply angrily, the robot guarding the both of them had knocked the witch over, effectively silencing her as her head hit the glass that protected her head from wandering away.
The Lord of Games was not happy at all.
It had started that morning with the destruction of Showdown Town. His video game factory had essentially been blown to smithereens right as he had hung up the phone from a talk with Hajime Satomi about a possible sequel to Space Channel 5. This would not have been so bad if not for the fact that somehow some robots were immediately able to close in on the essentially omnipotent lord. The results of that were seen in a strange black cuff that was around his neck that had cut off his godlike abilities, except for being able to levitate off of the ground. Somehow, the ability to fly had not been cut off by the cuff, but he sadly missed every other one of his powers.
But in his opinion, the worst thing that came of this was that Gruntilda Winkybunion had also somehow managed to survive the explosion. Ever since this revelation, the witch had been spouting her horrible rhymes left and right, even as they were being transported to enemy headquarters by the robot guards that were surrounding the two of them. He also wished that he still had the power to silence Grunty just by looking at her, as she was beginning to prove overly annoying with all of the horrible rhymes.
The computer looked outside, Pong eyes emotionless as he looked out of the only window in the craft that was taking them to the enemy base. The sky was clear and blue as they sailed along, a complete counterpoint to what had happened in Showdown Town earlier. The creator of all games thought of how ironic it was that evil had triumphed in his own quiet home where Banjo, Kazooie, and Grunty had faced off just two years prior. He sincerely hoped the bear and bird were safe from the clutches of whoever had captured him.
The identity of this person who captured him and Grunty would soon be revealed, the L.O.G. knew without a doubt. He was expecting a certian megalomaniacal doctor from a certain Sega series, however, mostly because of the Chaos Emerald that Banjo and Kazooie had found and also because of the appearance of Silver the Hedgehog in Spiral Mountain.
He thought about all this as he was being carted away, the cuff beginning to become uncomfortable on his neck as the vehicle he was in moved ridiculously fast.
Eventually, both the L.O.G. and Grunty were brought out of the aircraft and into some high-tech base with uninviting metal walls. Most of it was inhabited by robots, so as they moved along the L.O.G. wondered why the base was so needlessly large.
Eventually, he and Grunty were both roughly tossed into a large control room with too many buttons for the creator of all games to count. Sitting in a chair in front of a window was a rather fat man in a red cloak that the L.O.G. recognized instantly.
"Dr. Eggman..." he hissed silently as the doctor turned in his chair to look at them.
"Ah, so you're the survivors of that town that my robots raided," said the doctor. "And I also see that you know who I am."
"I'm the creator of all video games, of course I would know that," replied the computer, voice somehow oozing with acid.
"There is one thing I don't quite know yet, what in the world did you go there to get?" asked Grunty.
The L.O.G. wished that he had hands to facepalm with as the doctor looked at the skull-faced witch curiously. The doctor simply shrugged as he walked over to them.
"I came over there for your Chaos Emerald," replied the doctor.
Surprise seemed to flash across the L.O.G.'s screen, but it went by so fast that the doctor did not notice it.
"Chaos Emerald?" he asked. "I know what that is, but it's not in my posession."
"Really?" asked the doctor, tugging on the cuff roughly.
"Yes," replied the computer defiantly. "You can check the rubble of Showdown Town. Someone else had it."
The doctor smacked the computer monitor hard. Grunty flinched slightly as the computer was sent falling, and then the doctor picked the computer up by the cuff, his fist raised in front of the omnipotent computer.
"Listen here, you nasty stuck-up twit!" replied Eggman. "I've worked too hard for more years than I care to count to be able to take over the world, and your smart-aleck attitude isn't helping anything! Now you will tell me where that emerald is, or so help me God I'll punch right through your monitor!"
The threat was so strong that even Grunty was shocked by this, her body leaning back as her head seemed to roll back what with it not actually being attached. It was then that Grunty noticed the gleaming jewels. Realizing that they could be a power source, she cast her hands up.
"Oh, shut your trap, you crazy man, this spell I have now will change you to a can!"
As the doctor turned around and noticed the sparkles around the witch's hands, he quickly jumped to the side, the L.O.G. being tossed to the floor as Grunty's spell missed. Eggman, not to be deterred, grabbed a wrench from the shelf, and with a great amount of speed he slammed the wrench into the glass case that kept Grunty's head close to her body.
The impact forced Grunty's body to tip over, and then her head rolled away from her mechanical body as she let out a horrifying scream. This scream was echoed in the room that the glass panels looked into, but the witch was not focusing on that as she tried to get back to her body. However, this proved to be impossible as then the mad scientist grabbed the head by the chin and held it up so the witch could look right into Eggman's goggles.
"Real clever play," he said. "Real clever play."
"Save him I must, you crazy nerd, I won't get any chances to beat that bear and bird," replied the witch, still talking in bad rhymes even though she was in great pain.
"Grunty!"
Eggman simply smirked as he held the head a little farther away. "Oh?" he said. "This is new. Bear and bird, huh? I must thank you for helping me out here. I now know to look out for a bear and bird. But I'll still search the rubble of your precious town just in case. In the meantime..."
The doctor then roughly cast the head to where the L.O.G. was, Grunty reeling a little from the force as Eggman walked to his console.
"Guards!" he shouted into an intercom system. "Take the two prisoners from that town and throw them in with the rest of those animals!"
Pausing for a brief bit, the doctor then thought of something else he could do.
"Oh, and also, make sure that nobody leaves that room," said the doctor. "I'll be going on a brief holiday to where that little town was, and when I'm back in two days I want them still in there!"
After this, a pair of robots walked in, and then they grabbed both the omnipotent computer and the witch's head roughly. They then led the lord and carried the head through some corridors before they arrived in a room with faces that the L.O.G. recognized as characters from the Sonic the Hedgehog universe. Sonic, Amy, Cream, Shadow, and Rouge were all in there, and all they needed was Silver and Knuckles to make the set complete. With a strange kind of brutal strength the computer did not know robots could have, he was tossed into the only empty cell in the room like a rag doll on his own, and then the head was tossed into the same cell as a bat that the L.O.G. figured was the bat that Banjo had talked to in his dreams.
When the robots left shortly afterwards, the eyes of every other occupant in the room were drawn first to the computer, and then to the witch's head. They were all drawn by the fact that Grunty was moving again even though she had been reduced to merely a head in her sorry state of affairs.
"How the hell are you able to survive while just being a head?" asked the black hedgehog.
"Don't swear at me, you night-faced crone, I survived eight years buried under stone!"
Rouge, who was right next to the witch as she said this, winced. Cream, Amy, and Sonic followed suit shortly afterwards.
"Dude, you don't insult Shadow and expect to get away with it..." added Sonic uncertainly.
"And you too, you blueish thing, or I'll have you reduced to a mere ping!"
Rouge shook her head. "What, barred behind cages as we are?" she asked, her wings shifting a little. "And also, I don't think there's much you can do without a body."
The head jumped up a little, bouncing around in the cage. "That much is true, I can tell you that, but unfortunately for my my body's gone 'splat'!"
"Oh, come on, Grunty," replied the L.O.G. with an unamused tone in his voice. "He just took a wrench and broke your glass carrier. That's hardly what I would qualify as going 'splat'."
Cream shook her head, rolling her eyes. "I don't know, with rhymes like that I think she's starting to get desperate."
"Or it could be the narrator trying too hard," muttered the L.O.G. uncertainly.
"The who?" asked everybody else in the room sans Grunty as all heads turned to the omnipotent gaming lord.
"Never mind," he replied, shaking his head around, noticing the absence of his pet mice. "It would take too long to explain."
Everybody in the room nodded except for Grunty, who mysteriously knew what the creator of all video games was talking about.
"So..." said Amy uncertainly. "What did you guys do?"
"Us?" asked the L.O.G. "We were just in a town that he invaded earlier today."
Rouge nodded, seeming to understand what he was talking about even though he had not explained everything. Confused, but currently not in the mood to talk much, he dropped the subject.
Unfortunately, the bat had no such plans. "I know why he did that," she said. "They're after the bear now, aren't they?"
The L.O.G.'s computer face looked to Rouge briefly, surprise and then understanding flickering on his screen. "Ah, so you're that bat that Banjo was talking to?"
Surprised and shocked by this, all eyes darted straight to Rouge in the opposite end of the room. Rouge herself expressed quite a bit of shock at this revelation as she looked at the computer with wide topaz eyes.
"Wait... You're that friend of his who knows everything, aren't you?" she asked, pointing at the L.O.G. for confirmation.
"Close to everything, yes," replied the lord as he tried to make himself comfortable in the small cell but failed. "I at least know who all of you are, so you won't need to introduce yourselves. Lord of Games, at your service. You all can refer to me as L.O.G., though."
Rouge frowned slightly, thinking about this. "Wait, aren't you also all-powerful?" she asked.
"Well, yeah..." replied the L.O.G.
"Well, if that's so, why can't you just warp us out of here?" asked Sonic, his tone of voice slightly incredulous. "I mean, that would be pretty easy, yeah?"
The L.O.G. looked away, showing the cuff on his neck to the rest of them. "I would, but this thing around my neck isn't letting me," he replied tersely.
"Serves you right, you freeloading prick! That's what you get when it's me you kick!" cried Grunty from where she was.
Shadow groaned in annoyance, giving his voice to how annoyed he was by Gruntilda's bad rhymes.
"Just, shut up!" replied the black hedgehog. "I've only heard four of those rhymes and already I'm sick of them!"
"You think my rhymes are bad? You'll see who's worse here, you worthless cad!" protested Grunty obnoxiously.
"No, seriously, stop the rhymes!" shouted Amy, covering her ears as Sonic did the same.
"Please, Gruntilda, you're already getting worse than Amy's 4Kids voiceover," added the L.O.G.
Amy, who somehow knew she was the one being referred to, turned to the Lord of Games with a grimace on her face. "What?"
"You think I can be silenced that quick? I'll give you something else tied with a brick!" exclaimed Grunty. "And if you all say otherwise, I'll have you tied up in a vise! And if you don't do as I say, I'll make sure you don't get your pay! Understand, you measely--?"
Rouge, having had quite enough of this, abruptly and without warning shoved her foot into the witch's head. "Shut up already!" she cried as her foot slammed against the bars.
The witch's head was then in direct contact with the bars, and then sparks were sent flying as the witch screamed in agony. When Rouge took her foot away about ten seconds later, the head reeled back before falling back into the cage on its side. Grunty had endured a singe mark to the face, and her eyes had closed, signifying unconciousness.
"Thank you!" cried everybody else in the room.
Rouge shook her head at the witch head that was in her cage. "I couldn't have been happier doing anything else at the moment," she said as a wry smile formed on her lips.
"Who was that annoying woman, anyway?" asked the black hedgehog. "I'm beginning to think someone should have exterminated her a long time ago..."
"She would be one Gruntilda Winkybunion," replied the L.O.G. As he heard Rouge snicker a little at this, he continued. "She was an evil witch who tried to steal one little bear's beauty, then tried to get revenge on that bear's older brother when he saved the day with a bird who lives in his backpack, failed not once, not twice, but three times to do so, and is now under my servitude. Or, was, before my town was blown up by those bloody robots."
Rouge's ears perked up. "Speaking of that, why hasn't Eggman come in to interrupt us yet?"
"Why would he need to?" asked the L.O.G., suddenly slightly confused at this.
"He comes in to yell at us all the time," replied Sonic, his face going down as Amy held his shoulders. "You'd be really surprised, L.O.G. He comes in here and talks about how he's gonna finally take over the world and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it... It's... you know?"
The computer nodded as he let a silence sink in as the hedgehog shrugged in defeat, Amy shaking her head as she pulled Sonic to her body.
A few hours of idle conversation later, sleep was slowly beginning to overcome everybody in the room. Cream was the first one to fall asleep that night, falling asleep on Shadow's belly and using that as a sort of makeshift pillow. The black hedgehog looked a little peeved, but he stayed perfectly still so the rabbit could get her sleep.
But then the thing that really surprised the L.O.G. was what happened when Sonic and Amy had both fallen asleep. The blue hedgehog had layed down first, his head facing the ceiling of the room. Amy then rested her head on Sonic's chest, and instead of rejecting that contact like the computer would have expected him to do he drew her head into his arms, the pink hedgehog's own arm resting across the male hedgehog as they both smiled almost contentedly. Confused, the L.O.G. turned to Rouge.
"Since when has this been going on?" he asked as quietly as he could.
Rouge nodded and shrugged slightly. "It's a long story," she whispered across the room. "But that's what's been happening for a while now."
Seeming to be satisfied with this explanation, the L.O.G. nodded before Rouge herself laid down on the floor of her cell. Her eyes closed droopily, her hands under her hand as she smile expectantly.
It was at this most inappropriate of moments that Grunty had decided to wake up, as the clatter of a skull jumping on metal floor attested to.
"That was not--!"
And before Grunty could even get the fourth word in, Rouge's leg had darted out so that Grunty's skull had once again hit the cage's bars. She then released the foot almost instantly, shocking the witch out of what she was going to say.
"Just shut up and go to sleep or you'll be getting that for twenty seconds," said the bat sleepily.
For once showing just a little prudence, Grunty said nothing, knowing that Rouge would follow up on that threat without having to think about it. Eventually, her own eyes closed as she too, fell asleep (albeit with one of the loudest snores in history).
The L.O.G. looked upon the rather serene scene, a soft glow emanating from the computer monitor that was his face before he offlined for the day, far from home but not from fairly reasonable company.