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Chapter 1 Paul Now:

Paul brushed the frames polished wood grains, She said to wait, so did Oliver, but I'm going to get it. I don't care about Black Friday.

He took a picture of the tag then headed to the check out, the off-gassing of new furniture wafted from displays he passed.

"Oh, Mr. Russo, back again so soon," Heather asked, round pink eyes gleaming, as he walked up to the sales counter.

The tall solid white cat with long ears, who smelled of a clove field and cinnamon stood waiting for him, She has to be a mix... is thinking that rude, I'll ask Jill when she gets here.

"Yeah, I visited several other stores but I liked the one you showed me best."

"It's a beautiful crib, may I ask is it a girl or a boy?"

"It's a boy," he said bouncing on his paws, "if the ultra-sound's right."

Heather glanced at the number he photographed, her scent grew earthier then she said, in a gentle soprano, "Well, I hope he takes after his father."

"He might," he said then pointed at the black and brown half of his masked muzzle, "I just hope he gets some of my color and my mom's eyes, mom always called me her little phantom."

"That would be adorable," Heather said, ear twitching in rhythm to the pop song playing softly through the store, "So, is the mother your breed."

"No, she's a rat mouse hybrid."

Heathers ears flicked to the automatic doors, "And she was able to conceive with a cat that's wonderful!"

"Thank you," he said, Will this girl get to be a mother, then passed over his credit card, "She spent years worrying about being a mule."

"I'm getting you my employee discount," Heather said, "I know how she feels."

"You don't need too," he said, Crap, I wasn't trying to be manipulative, he shifted leaning on the counter, "You're a mix, sorry to ask you don't look it?"

"Yeah," She said running the card while the new comer walked passed, "mom's a hare and dad a cat, I may never have the chance you two do, so, I want too."

"Thanks for your support," he said, "I was told to wait but I can't, so I'm getting it any way."

"I hope," She said passing back his card, "I meet a guy like you."

"Or an even better one," he said, Jill will love it, the height adjustability.

"When are you two due," She asked.

"Well we aren't sure," he said, "since it's a tri-hybrid mix the doctors aren't certain, but think it's a month or two away."

"Do you have a fertility score," she asked.

"Yeah, we had a high chance," he said, "Only if we could just conceive, my friend was more compatible but it worked out for me thankfully."

His jaw spasmed getting a chunk of his cheek.

"Guys always dump me," She said, holding her left elbow with one paw, "because they think we can't have kits, they're probably right... someday I'll meet someone like you, that wants to try till we can."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," He said while they finished the transaction and delivery, "you deserve to be a mom, you're kind and helpful, hopefully he'll be the next one."

Crap, Jill probably boarded already, I'll talk to her when she lands and I haven't messaged Oliver she's on the way. Xander's probably still dealing with all the Sean drama, he texted Tanner his red fox roommate, "Hey, are you at the south Seattle shop today."

"No, but I am off work, what's up?"

"I need to get Jill from the airport but I also need to set up the guest bedroom for her at Oliver's."

"I'll pick her up."

"Thanks, man, you're a life saver," He texted.

He met Xander months back while helping plan a Litterday party at the restaurant He managed for Xander's best friend, and longtime crush, Sean.

The last week whirl winded past, with Sean having an allergy reaction and a medication negative interaction, Jill being baby emotional during the anniversary of Max leaving her, Oliver said he loved him but wouldn't date him because of FIV, and had several great dates with Xander. It left him numb from over stimulation to everything but his nesting instinct.

Call Xander, he needs to know you're going to be a dad... no, he'll think you're too high maintenance. But he'll meet Jill today, I can't hide it anymore, or at least she physically can't. He pulled out his phone heading out of the Bellevue Mall, a party store caught his eye, Streamers, I'm going to need streamers. Tanner's getting her I can go get them now.

He put his phone away and waited at the crosswalk for the flow of cars to stop for him. He ran across then raided the stores party section getting the wall hangings, hats, paper plates, balloons and a hand air pump. He half purred while he hummed making the journey back to the car in the parking garage. His happy song fell when it came time to decide whether to take the 520 bridge and its toll, or the longer way with no toll or thoughts of visiting the Clark's. He spoke to a memory, "I doubt they'll come, but you should be here for the party, it would be for you just as much for me if you were."

He put on music to distract himself then drove down the southbound side of the freeway, the whole day would have gone faster if he would just face the water long enough to cross the floating bridge.

Unable to reach out to Jill, he asked his phone to call mom.

"Hey honey," Mom's soft soprano said, "Jill made it to the airport safely."

"That's great," He said changing lanes for the I-90 exit, "but I was calling about dad."

"Oh, Papas right here," mom said, "I could put him on."

"No, mom, I mean dad."

"Oh, what about, are you nervous," mom asked rustling the phone, "Because honey, you're going to be a great dad."

"Thanks mom," he said, passing a slow Subaru driver in the fast lane as he got on the bridge from Mercer Island, "but how would you know when you're doing it wrong?"

"Pauliwog... err, honey," mom said, "The scary thing about parenting is that you easily know what's really really wrong but often you can't tell when you've only kinda messed up."

He slowed in the traffic, Like not telling me sooner, he drummed the steering wheel, "Mom, you weren't perfect, but you're an amazing parent and I love you."

"I wish I could be there," mom said, "have you heard from Jill's parents?"

He merged onto I-5, and said, "I haven't heard from them all day, but they were up really early, Jill told me. Oh... did you ever hear from the Clark's about the baby shower?"

"No honey," Mom said the phone sounding different, "Alice would come if anyone from the Clark family did, but I doubt Lawrence will come."

"I don't know if I'm ready to see them."

"Honey, I understand," mom said, "you wouldn't have to see them, but for Timothy you should."

"I guess you're right," He said, "but it's not easy to forget and move past everything." Maybe I should have taken the Rainier St exit to avoid the I-5 traffic.

"I'm coming before the shower," Mom said, "Jill's parents will drive and we'll all get a hotel for the night."

"Mom," he said merging one lane to the left, "I could have found you space."

"I'm not sleeping on the floor," mom said, "I'll get stepped on by your friends."

A bold soprano of Momma Greyhouse in the background said, "neither are we, I don't want to be one of Edwin's patients."

Faintly Papa Greyhouse's Tenor said, "Honey, that would be unprofessional."

"That's never happened," he said, Mom, speaker phone really, he took the Madison street exit, "but a hotel is probably more comfortable anyway."

"So, what were you doing honey," mom asked, "I can tell you've been driving for a while?"

"Getting supplies for the baby shower," He said.

"And... that can't be the only thing," Mom asked.

"I bought a crib," he said, "don't tell Jill it's a surprise."

"Awe, honey did you hear that," Momma Greyhouse said.

"I know it's very cute," Papa said.

"Knowing him its designer," mom said, "I thought she asked you to stop buying things for the baby?"

"Maybe she did," he said, they're going to bring this up at the shower, I just know it, he slowed at the light in front of Swedish Medical, "but I can't help it. Just don't tell her."

"Fine honey," Mom said, "I won't, now focus on the road."

"No promises," Momma Greyhouse said.

"Can't wait to see you all," He said, then ended the call. I should talk to Jill about the Clarks... no Oliver he's a Tiger he'll understand better. I'd have to explain everything to her. Oliver's better, telling her would just mess with a good thing, and Jill's emotional from the pregnancy and Max. Prime why is love so hard?

The rest of the drive to Oliver's he purred in rhythm to the radio, then parked outside Oliver's apartment. He grabbed the bags and headed in through the garage with the access code he used to avoid dialing up.

Checking the clock, He ran up the stairs, Tanner will be picking up Jill from the airport pretty soon.

He texted, "Tanner thanks again, for getting Jill, sorry I ran late at the shop."

"No prob man, see you at home?" Tanner texted back.

Climbing the last flight of stairs he texted, "Yeah, I'm just going to drop the decorations at Oliver's, Get Jill's room ready then head home."

He walked in to Oliver's place, He is never going to lock this door... country boys. Cinnamon, Pine and Cedar musk's filled his nose.

Xander's familiar moan came from the guest bedroom, "Fuck, I'm cumming."

"Shit, Shit, SHIT," Sean groaned.

What the fuck, He prickled with tendrils of ice that collected at his raised fur. He peeked through the crack of the bedroom door.

Xander, his black furred and maned border collie, was under his best friend Sean. Sean, the black and brown bastard wolf, was under his bengal tiger best friend Oliver.

"Great, now I'm a mess," Xander said.

"Oh, you love it," Sean said.

"Yeah, I did," Xander said, "I love you guys."

"I love you, too," Sean said then rolled them all on their sides backs to the door.

His heart raced leaving him numb, yet full, like the waters behind a glacial damn seeking a way out, yell, cry, runaway. He stumbled to the door, Oliver's in a three-way with Xander!

The hall and staircase flew past, he started hyperventilating when he got behind the wheel of his mini. He looked into the mirror at his blotchy blue eyes and only saw the first time his mom cried staring back at him.

Chapter 2 Paul Then:

Paul tossed cushions across the living room floor to escape the cave of lava, The princess needs me. He leapt from cushion to cushion tagging Jill's paw, "saved you!"

"Nuh-uh," Jill said black violet eyes gleaming against steel gray fur, wisps of her Ivy and Nutmeg scent lingered on his paw, "you didn't get on the chair. So, you died in the fire."

A clatter rang from the kitchen. Jill's stood on the armrest to check over the top of the chair.

He jumped down then ran to the kitchen, "you ok mommy?"

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you dear," Mommy said wiping her blue eyes, flattening the black, white and brown furred cheeks, then blowing her nose on a paper towel.

"You crying, mommy?

"Yes, but it's ok, you should go play."

"Why you crying?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Mommy said, "mom just loves you so much. Sometimes you just cry when you're happy."

"You don't look happy," he said, "mommy, you look sad."

"A hug will make it all better."

He jumped to meet mommy's hug with his arms around her neck. Nuzzling into her, their warm cinnamon scents mingling, while she scooped him up holding tight. Static building and raising their cheek fur.

"All better," he asked.

"Yes, I'm all better, Pauliwog," mommy said setting him down, "Now go play. Everything is getting better. Remember to wash your paws lunch is nearly ready."

Jill pointed at him when he entered the living room, "you touched the floor game over."

He ran down the hall away from the living room, "Catman, is going to stop a bank robber."

Jill ran after him when she climbed off the chair, "they won't find anything at the bank, Ratwoman stole everything last night."

"Then I must arrest you," He said running after Jill slipping a little on the wood floors.

"You can't arrest me I'm older," Jill shrieked running into the kitchen.

Papa, set the outside patio table while Momma Greyhouse sat and mommy joined her.

"I can too," He said as they washed past their parents onward into the back yard, "I'm the dark knight."

Jill swooped down to grab a few pine cones, "I have the money."

"I'll catch you, you can't get away."

Jill hid under the table where the mommies sat.

He rattled the dishes trying to tag Jill.

"Hey, hey. Gentle you two," Momma Greyhouse said charcoal gray fur standing.

He and Jill's ears perked at a familiar song coming down the street. He waited bouncing on his paws to get his mommies attention.

"You need to tell him," Momma Greyhouse said fixing him with her obsidian eyes, "it's not good to wait."

"I will, I just can't," Mommy said, "not around his birthday and with kindergarten starting."

"Mommy," He said with the music getting louder.

"Waiting won't make it easier," Momma Greyhouse said.

"I don't know, I mean," Mommy said, "I don't know if I can get through explaining, I can barely think of it without you know, and will he understand, he never knew him?"

"You might be right," Momma Greyhouse said, refilling their lemonade, her Ivy scent moving with her, "just know we are here for you two whenever you do."

"Mommy," He begged, the music almost to the house tugging on her knee.

"Yes Pauliwog," Mommy asked.

"The ice cream truck, the ice cream truck."

"Oh, let me get my purse."

"Yay." He and Jill cheered.

"I have my wallet, kids meet you in the front yard, you two want anything," Papa asked.

He and Jill ran to the front yard then bounced and jumped while waiting for Papa at the cul-de-sacs curb.

"What's school like," He asked Jill.

"Don't know," Jill said, "I can't go cause I'm short."

"That's silly."

"But I get to go finally," she said spinning, "we get to go together."

Nutmeg got stronger as Papa came up behind them, he asked, "Papa, why couldn't Jill go to school?"

They walked to the truck parked at the edge of the cul-de-sac.

"There's this anti-bullying act," Papa said, "the government passed that kept her from going for a while."

"What's an Act," he asked.

"It's like a rule," Papa said.

"You can break rules," Jill said sweeping her long tail.

"But this one you can't break," Papa said.

"Oh, like running by the China cabinet," Jill said.

"Exactly."

"I ran by the china cabinet," He said.

"Did you, that's against the rules," Papa said.

"I not know, I'm sorry," he said ears dropping, "can I still have ice cream?"

"Yes," Papa said bending down to him locking him with Violet eyes, "but can you teenee-claw promise me not to run by that cabinet?"

"I promise."

"Ok kids, what do want," Papa asked silver gray fur bright in the sun.

"Banilla," He said hopping up to look in the window.

"Orange cup, daddy," Jill said.

"Jill," Papa said picking Jill up so they could reach the window, "can you pass this to the man. I'd also like a sherbet, drumstick and fudge sickle."

"Here you are," the deer driver said.

Papa set Jill on his shoulders, then said, "the sherbet's for me, the drum stick your mom, and the fudge sickle for Jill's mom, Pauliwog, can you take them to the table."

Jill passed three of the ice creams to him and held the last two.

He took the sherbet, drumstick and fudge sickle, then ran around the house to the backyard, mommy said, "what if he never forgives me?"

Momma Greyhouse said, "he will even if there's a rough patch... hey little man, thank you, is that one mine?"

"You're welcome," he said, "can I have mine now."

"Oh, after you eat, Pauliwog," mommy said cutting bite sized pieces on a plate.

"Mommy, are you sad?"

"No honey, everything's fine," mom said, "mommies get like this. I love you too much to be-"

"Ok," He ran to talk to Jill, "Want to play Catman and Ratwoman on the same team?"

"Yeah, we can stop the penguin," Jill said bouncing on Papa's shoulders.

"We need to have lunch first, then you two can play."

"Daddy, I'm not hungry," Jill said.

Papa said, "You have to eat before you can play."

"Actually, daddy, I can play even if I don't eat, I know I can."

"Yes, you could," Papa said, while Jill played with papa's rounded white silver ears, "but I can't let you have your ice cream if you don't eat lunch first."

"No daddy put me down I'll eat my lunch!"

Papa set Jill down.

"Hurry Paul," Jill yelled, He and Jill ran to the table.

Momma Greyhouse said, "... I don't know what this is like for you, you should go to that support group for-"

"Mommy, I need to eat fast so I can have ice cream," Jill said.

"Do we go to class together," He asked.

"Yes, it probably could help," Mommy said, "you both will have a class together, for smaller kits."

"Jill," he said hopping, "we get to have nap time and games together, mommy said school has games and a playground too."

"Yay!... mom I don't want to eat but daddy says I have too."

"Yes, honey you need to eat, come sit I made a plate for you."

"Ok mommy, up," Jill said momma helping her climb up the high chair by the table, "will I where a dress for school?"

"Yes," Momma Greyhouse said cutting up food for Jill, "remember that one with the yellow flowers on it, you get to wear it too school."

"Honey," mommy said, "I have tuna fish on crackers for you and vegetables."

He hopped into a chair and grabbed the plate mommy made.

Momma Greyhouse passed Jill a juice, "So, you said you'll talk about it after school starts?"

"Yeah there'll be school," Mommy said, "and there's his birthday then I'll tell him and take him to visit, I just wish the dates weren't so close together, will they even remember at this point?"

"Yes, it's amazing what Jill reminds me of when I didn't think she was listening let alone might remember."

"Mommy, I have a question," He said.

"Yes honey?"

"Mommy, do I have a daddy," He asked avoiding the peas and carrots, "Jill said everyone has a daddy it's a rule."

Mommy swallowed slowly then said, "Yes you had a daddy, everyone does. He was a good man and was a pilot-"

"I want to be a pilot too."

"When you grow up you can."

"Can I go play?"

"After juice," mommy said, "and please have three full bites of peas and carrots first."

"I'll eat his peas and carrots," Jill said, "I like them."

"Yay," He cheered.

"No, Paul three bites."

"Oh ok... fine."

"Honey, how's the practice," Momma Greyhouse asked adding more vegetables to Jill's plate.

"I got a new crush anxiety case," Papa said when he took his seat.

"Is it a public transit one," mommy asked, "like last time?"

"No, the Vole has an elephant upstairs neighbor that just moved in."

"Babe, I don't get them," Momma Greyhouse said, "Did you tell him that his fridge probably weighs more than his neighbor?"

"Crush is easier to deal with without anorexia, so I'm not going to point that fact out."

"Finished," Jill said, "can I have my ice cream?"

"Yes, you did a great job, here you go honey."

Jill cheered running across the yard.

He delayed his last bite, "Mommy are parents coming to my party?"

"Yes, they are and just one more."

"Can daddy come?"

Mommy's face looked the same as in the kitchen, "No honey."

He ate his bite, "can I play now?"

"What about your ice cream?"

"I don't want it, if I'm good can you ask him to come?"

"You are always my good little boy... ok."

"Thanks mommy," He said grabbing his ice cream, "I guess I can eat it."

He ran to Jill who sat on their stump in the far corner of the yard by the fence.

"My daddy might come to my birthday!"

Jill said, "Maybe he can take us in his plane, is your mommy ok?"

Mommy leaned on the table paws covering her eyes while Momma Greyhouse rubbed her back.

"Yeah, she loves me too much."

Chapter 3 Timothy:

"Mommy look... I'm you," Timmy said coming from the guest bedroom, in an old sundress, her beaming green down turned eyes twinkled for him.

"Honey," She said, in her gentle voice, "don't step on the edges, look at you aren't you pretty."

"Why are boy clothes different from girl clothes?"

"Because we have different roles, just like I shear to be pretty and your dad doesn't, and I keep the house for your father while he works."

"So, I need to have a house to wear a dress?"

"Well no, honey," She said checking his bedroom, "most that keep up a house have a nice dress or two but the house isn't needed."

"What's keeping house," He asked, spinning only to tangle his legs.

"It's cleaning up your room and the kitchen. Are you ok?"

"I'm all tied up, it's too big, can we get one I can wear?"

"Well, I think you should wear boy clothes."

"But I want to be like you," He said unwrapping his legs to hop over to her.

"You are like me just the boy part of me," She said.

"Mommies have boy parts?"

She looked at the roof, "Well when you put it that way... generally, no, honey, I mean you have the things I learned from my dad, I had less boy things to share then your father."

"That's ok," He said taking her arm and leading her to where he set up a meal with his plushies, "Then I need to be a girl mommy, it's time for Pauli's family dinner."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said, "I'm late everyone and thank you for inviting me."

"It's ok Pauli says you're a great mommy and her favorite."

"Why thank you Pauli, I think you're pretty great too."

He hugged her, "I look, pretty right?"

"You look great," She said, "but you need a hat for that dress."

"Where do I get a hat, and shear my arms and legs like you?"

"I'll get you a hat for family dinner but school starts soon I can't have you sheared like that."

"Oh, please mommy, I want to be pretty like you."

"Well, for school we can't," She said, "we need you to be handsome like your father, but let's get that hat."

"Yay," He cheered, "I can't wait to be a mommy like you."

"That will take some time Millot, let's go to mommy's closet."

"I'd be a good mommy cause you'd teach me."

"Ah thanks Millot, so do you want a big hat or a small hat?"

"Big and beautiful," He said, "Mommy how do I get the things on your ears?"

"Oh, my earrings," She said then pulled down two big hat boxes, "I got them at thirteen."

"Oh... how long apart is thirteen and five?"

"Longer than your last birthday ago."

"Noooo," he cried, flouncing to the floor, "That's too long mommy, I'll die."

"You'll be fine," She said, shaking her head, "and, oh my goodness look at this hat, it's mommy's favorite and it will look great on you." "Thank you, mommy," He said spinning in the mirror, blue eyes bright in contrast to the wide brimmed pink derby hat on his head, "back too family dinner."

"Let me get my hat, too."

"Ok but the foods getting cold," He pulled the dresses shoulder strap back up then took her arm.

"What are we having?"

"Mostly cake but cookies too."

"Then we should go eat," She said

"Pass Pauli the cucumber sandwiches," He said while miming filling cups.

"So, Pauli is the wolf or lizard?"

"No silly," Timmy said gesturing at the empty seat, "it's my sheep, so say hello. Mommy why can't I be a girl?"

"Afternoon there, well honey you weren't born that way."

"I want a redo," He said putting each plushies cup to its muzzle.

"You can't," She said, "babes come from their mommy's tummies and you're too big."

"Oh... can I change," he asked, "like the hungry Caterpillar," then the front door rattled and he bounded to his feet, "daddies home!"

He reached the door as it opened and pulled the dresses shoulder strap up again.

Daddy half stepped inside, his Oaty Alfalfa filled the hall from the wind through the open door.

He shrank under daddy's fierce brown gaze. His warm excitement hid in his chest as his arms and legs chilled, "what's wrong daddy?"

"Alice what the hell is this," daddy said ignoring him slamming the door.

"Dear you're over reacting," she said from the end of the hall opposite the front door.

He tried to make his legs run to her but they wouldn't.

"No, what the fuck is this," Daddy said pointing at him.

"I'm sorry daddy."

"Lawrence Stop yelling," She said, "I hate when you yell, it's disrespectful to everyone that hears, and it's just dress up, hey come here Millot, let's get you changed."

"Just dress up your teaching him to get bullied that's what you're doing."

He still couldn't move.

"I'm teaching him to be a caring person."

"Yes yes, but the world is cruel he needs to be strong not nice."

His legs unlocked.

"Don't move Timothy," Daddy said dropping to a knee then grabbing his trembling shoulders.

"I didn't mean to scary you."

"I'm sorry daddy what did I do wrong?"

"Boys shouldn't dress like girl's son it's a sin."

"I didn't know daddy," He said, "but I like being pretty."

"Well boys aren't pretty," Daddy said, "they're handsome and it's a boy's job to protect pretty girls."

She said from behind, "And anyone else that can't protect themselves."

"Yeah yeah," Daddy said, "do you know how to protect people?"

"No."

"You call for a parent," she said, "or a teacher."

"And if there is no teacher or parent, you tuck your head down and charge."

"Lawrence."

"It's true we are Rams that's what you do."

"Come on Timmy," she said, shaking her head, "let's get you changed."

"Hug first," daddy asked.

"I love you daddy."

"I love you too, little Ram."

Chapter 4 Jill Now:

Jill boarded the plane alone only to learn that her row didn't have a place to stow things under the seat in front of her. She looked at the overhead compartment.

"Lady you're holding everyone up," a tall aardvark said.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I don't think I can get my bag in the overhead compartment."

"Have a seat," Someone else snapped, "then page the flight attendant."

She got out of the isle, then hoisted herself onto the seat, in the process she learned she could hit the flight attendant button but only if she leveraged herself with the armrest.

She reached to press the button.

"Hey, I can help with that," a tall mixed brown furred hyena with a cute Champagne blouse and little brown eyes said.

"Thank you," She said passing her bag up to the familiar Mahogany scented hyena, "my suit case would normally fit under the seats but not in this row apparently, I'm Jill Greyhouse by the way, and thanks, we met before, right?"

The hyena paused with her arms in the overhead compartment. She checked up and down the isle of the plane closed the compartment then sat.

The hyena's fur stood, then said softly, "We can't know each other, I mean, Uhm, call me Danielle Jackson."

"No, I definitely met you," She said, trying to loosen the belt enough for her belly, "at the Sugar Plumb bakery, I know your scent, I'm a co-owner, you were with Mr. Faruq. Are you a daughter or-"

"Please forget that person I'm Danielle now..."

She nodded the palpable anxiety of bitter Mahogany dripping from this girl pulled at her, "I must be wrong, the type of girl I'm thinking of would never be without their Niqab."

"So, you are a baker," Danielle asked, Mahogany sweetening, "that is a good job?"

"I've always liked it," She said resting a paw on her distended belly, "but it was hard the last few months."

"Oh, yes I understand. This is only the second time I've been on a plane."

"Are you ok, they are very safe."

"I just feel unsafe," Danielle said then she checked a small pocket of her carry on, closed it then sat back, "being so public, it is not the plane."

"And where are you going," She said then the compartment lights softened and the air came on, tickling her nose, "I'm visiting my best friend in Seattle."

"I have no plans, I should have them but I do not... I planned everything else just not this, I guess I never thought I'd get away."

"Is this your first vacation?"

"Vacation? Oh... yes this is my first vacation, it will be a long one I hope."

The plane moved down the runway. Danielle grabbed the armrests till they shook.

"It will be ok," She said patting the back of Danielle's paw.

"My old life died," Danielle said softly a tear trekking its way through her fur, "For God, will never change the grace which He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in themselves."

"It will be ok," She said not sure what to do or how to help, She's running away from something, you know Peanut if I wasn't pregnant and hormonal I could think more clearly.

"How can you know," Danielle asked.

"I don't, but there's always hope," she said, nodding, "You can talk to me about it all if you like."

"I shouldn't," Danielle said, "we don't know each other."

"No," She said holding out her paw, "but sharing is how you start."

Danielle took it in her much larger one, "We can see the ocean from up here."

"Yes," she said, playing with the tip of her tail, "I like swimming in it, do you?"

"I don't know how to swim."

"Really," she said, patting her belly, "well what about just having your paws in the sand?"

"I was from a traditional family..." Danielle checked if anyone listened to them, "I'm running away."

"How old are you?" She asked.

"I'm seventeen, my family is from Egypt."

"Why are you running away?"

"My sister," Danielle said, prominent light brown eyes darting up and down the cabin, "She told me I needed too, she helped me get a new name and ID."

"But why."

"I can't say," Danielle said, smoothing down her dress, "you won't tell my family, please?"

"No, I met a girl from Egypt," She said, Peanut she feels familiar, like Timothy was in junior high,

patting Danielle's paw, "but she wasn't a Faruq... I have never seen more than that girls eyes and paws before. How do you feel?"

"I feel naked and foolish," Danielle said, "I don't know where I'm going."

"Why are you running away," she asked, "I won't tell anyone."

"My aunties are visiting," Danielle said Mahogany souring, "my sister didn't want it to happen to me too."

"Happen, what would happen," She asked her chest and throat itching, I'm totally texting dad for that number he told me about.

"I don't want to talk about it," Danielle said, shifting in she seat when the flight attendant passed with a drinks cart, "what's swimming like, and thank you, I don't know you but you are very kind."

"Oh, everyone should be helpful," she said, then breathed deeply, "it makes the world a better place. swimming it's different in a pool or lake then the ocean. But you float and move in ways you can't on the ground."

The plane arched to the right and the view of the ocean disappeared.

"I want to swim," Danielle said, then bit her lower lip, "and I need to find a job."

"Have you a place to stay," she asked, "I mean you wouldn't fly without one?"

"No, I was too have one," Danielle said, paws shaking, "but we couldn't plan more, my aunties trip became sooner."

"Won't your family worry," She asked unsure of what to do or say.

"Yes, but I left a letter," Danielle said, "so the shame will be my own. Sister wished I wouldn't but I needed too."

"The shame," She asked, "why are you running away, and if your sister and you both feel you should leave, why would you feel shame?"

"Please not so loud," Danielle said, "it is a cultural thing for my kind."

"Well what kind of work can you do," She asked.

"I don't know," Danielle said, "I have never worked and I was at a private school, you are a baker, I can cook and bake."

"Do you have money?"

"Some, but not good to mention here."

"True, do you have a phone?"

"No," Danielle said sinking in the seat, "I don't know what I will do."

She shifted adjusting the belt across her lap, "Ok, well if you need I can help-"

"I do not know you and debts are not right."

"Well what about gifts? consider it a gift, I had a friend that needed help and this is like that ok."

"Ok... so who is the father?"

"My best friend," She said rubbing her belly, "he was the second most compatible person I had, tears burning her eyes, Peanut these hormones need to stop.

Danielle tilted her head, "Why have you not married this... mouse?"

"I'm not a mouse," she said, playing with the end of her long tail, "I'm half a mouse, and he is a cat."

"Not of one kind? That isn't natural."

"Thanks, and now you sound like my ex."

"I am sorry," Danielle said squeezing her paw gently, "I did not mean to offend. I have never known one like you."

"I understand," She said, adjusting again to get comfortable, "did you really want to learn to swim by the way?"

"Yeah, I do," Danielle said, eyes widening, "but will there be men in the pool?"

"It is a co-ed pool," she said, As nervous as Timmy was, she tasted sour, "I should have got a drink, so you've never been to a pool or the beach?"

"I have never been," Danielle said gesturing down her body dropping her gaze, "in public this uncovered."

"Well," She said then yawned, "my friend Tanner does swimming lessons, he might know if there is a time where there are less men at his pool."

"Will you rest now?"

"No, the flight is less than fifty minutes we'll be there shortly."

They sat quietly for a time.

"So, you live in Portland," Danielle asked, "what is your reason to travel?"

"Well," She said while scratching her tail, "I need to see the baby's father and a specialist, I know what brought you north, but where are you going?"

"I don't know, I hoped not to ever have to leave my family."

She sat waiting for her to continue.

"My sister said I had to go that my aunties would make a choice for me that I am unwilling to make."

"You should always have a choice."

"Not in my culture, not in Egypt for my kind."

"I wish you'd explain," She said the seatbelt light lighting up, "I can't imagine something that would make me run from my family without a plan."

"This is your captain speaking we will be experiencing some slight turbulence during our final approach, please remain in your seats with your belts fastened. On behalf of Huskyair we thank you for flying. The current weather in Seattle is sixty-two degrees Fahrenheit, partially cloudy and with some showers. Please follow the directions of the flight staff when we disembark."

Danielle asked, "So when we get off the plane might I use your phone to look at a map."

"Yes of course, so what was it like in Egypt?"

"Oh, I don't know," Danielle said, rebuckling, "more people walked. It was not to different then here, I attended a private school there and do likewise here. I had more friends there, because my family knew so many people. Here has been lonely. I will miss my sister."

"She sent you away without a phone, or plan?"

"She was doing her best," Danielle said pulling her paw away, "I didn't want to go but she insisted."

"I meant no offense," She said, "as I've said I don't understand."

"I am not offended, I held your paw longer than what is right."

"It's ok," she said, "your paws the same size as an old friends, I was thinking of them, from our chat about swimming and forgot."

"Why did you choose to have a child alone?"

"Well no one, well just one," She said, "didn't want to have one with me, and when I was younger for a science project my best friends and I looked at immunology and hybrid genetic compatibility."

"Where I come from," Danielle said, "Parents plan your marriage, and they always stay to your kind."

Her stomach jumped as they started the descent. The plane bounced and jumped while Her ears popped as Kirkland came into view, Peanut we'll get Paul to visit him.

Danielle didn't speak till the plane taxied to the terminal, "What is Seattle like?"

"Well that's complicated it's like asking what Portlands like... I've never lived in Seattle but as a business person I'd look at the city from a who'd be my client's perspective."

"So, it's different for different areas?"

"Yeah," she said, "Portlands different from Hillsborough, Beaverton, Vancouver and Gresham, it's the same here. Here there is Everett, Tacoma-Olympia, Eastside and Seattle itself."

"Where should I go," Danielle asked.

"Well where would you be comfortable," She asked.

"Anywhere my aunts won't look..."

She laughed, getting a rare smile from Danielle, "Well then we will avoid the Paradosi communities in any of those areas, is there a kind you like being around?"

"I-I don't know," Danielle said, "I have not spoken to many."

She said, "I don't care about kind."

"I will try not too," Danielle said.

She laughed, "Well, I do, but just that I'm mixed, she drummed her belly, "but I grew up near cattle, horses, alligators and lions apart from my own."

"Well, Redmond has the closes mix to that with all the Elephants, Gators, Tigers, Wolves, Bovines and monkeys."

"Why are those kinds there?"

"Microsoft," She said as the plane jostled when it touched down, "most of the areas are more mixed."

"Where do you go," Danielle asked as the seat belt light went off.

The captain spoke over the intercom, "You may now turn on your cell phones and feel free to move about the cabin again thank you for flying Huskyair."

"I'm going to Capital Hill," She said standing up, "in Seattle it's the gay and medical district, well I guess first hill kinda is too."

"Gay as in homosexual," Danielle asked ears up and eyes wide.

"Yeah, it's a nice area," She said, "the last place a Paradosi would look actually."

"You go there for the medical," Danielle asked, as people filed off the plane, "for that specialist?"

"That and my best friend is gay."

"Oh, I've never met a homosexual," Danielle said passing down her bag.

"Sure you have," She said as they filed off the plane, "it's not like they were a sign... well most don't anyway."

"How do you tell," Danielle asked, following on an escalator in the terminal, "is there a way, and may I use your phone?"

"Sure thing," she said writing a text, "let me text that I've landed... Ok here you are."

She proffered her phone to Danielle who took it and followed her slowly through the terminal to arrivals.

She didn't want to interrupt but Danielle seemed to been doing multiple web searches appearing more and more flustered the longer she typed.

"I know you're doing something," She asked loudly to be heard above the terminal noises, "Do you need to stop by baggage claim."

"Oh no," Danielle said then passed the phone back, "all I have is in this backpack, I had to look like I was too study, it is my school bag, thank you for its use."

"Did you find what you needed?"

"Maybe... I don't know, now I must find the bus area."

She grabbed her tail so it wouldn't get caught in the next escalator, "I'm sure Paul will give you a ride where you need to go."

"I can't," Danielle said as they exited the airport, "that would be asking too much."

She unlocked her phone to check if Paul texted only to find Danielle's search for Seattle women's shelters. She stopped abruptly not certain what to do or say.

"Jill what is wrong?"

She opened messenger and saw Tanner was picking her up, "I... yes everything is fine Paul my child's father is getting a room for me ready, our friend Tanner is picking us up."

"Oh," Danielle asked, looked around, "which way to the bus stop?"

"Danielle, please," she said rounding on Danielle, "I'll worry about you if I don't know you've gotten somewhere safe, can I please offer you a ride?"

They stood silent She nearly spoke again to convince her when Danielle said, "It is not good to worry an expecting mother."

She beamed, "Thank you... are you really going to a-"

"Hey Jill," Tanner yelled in his warm tenor, walking over from the blue sedan parked at the curb, fluffy tail wagging wafting his juniper and fur tree scent as his thin gray eyes twinkled, "I never thought I'd ever say this but you're huge."

Her jaw dropped when she read his purple t-shirt, "Hi, I'm Bi ask me why!"

"What are you wearing," she asked.

"He seems to have a sign," Danielle whispered.

"Got to advertise," Tanner said, "wow, who's your friend she looks and smells amazing, I love canid scents," then held out his paw to the stunned Danielle.

"This is a Paradosi acquaintance," She said satisfied when Tanner apologetically stepped back, "I made on the plane, Danielle Tanner, Tanner Danielle."

Danielle averted her eyes, then whispered, "I don't speak with men... I can't as I'm dressed."

Tanner's eyes bugged out then crossed his arms to cover the words on his T-shirt while he hurried back to the car. The back of his shirt read, "Because you're Gorgeous!"

"Sorry," She said pulling the car's passenger side back door open then climbed in with Danielle following, "I can't tell which of you is more uncomfortable, his family is Turkish Paradosi on his dad's side. Come on where can we take you."

"It is ok," Danielle said paws covering her face from the rear-view mirror, "Could you drive me to eighteenth and Roy in Seattle?"

Tanner drummed the steering wheel while waiting to pull out into departing traffic, then asked, "You come from a traditional family but you don't wear a hijab?"

"I had to leave it," Danielle said, shifting in the back seat to look out the window, "my sister said I would not be noticed if I did not wear it and God forgives, please I can't speak with you."

She held her belly as the car bounce with Tanners lane change and a paving seam.

"Can I explain," she asked, "he seems confused, I'll only say what you told me."

Danielle nodded.

She said, "I don't know why it's so bad but her older sister sent her to Seattle before her Aunties got to town and something happens that she doesn't want to have happen."

Tanner's eyes bugged in the mirror then he swerved back into their lane, "Danielle is this that Hyena thing or the one common in Africa?"

Danielle didn't answer lost in the view or her thoughts.

"What Hyena thing," She asked holding the seat back.

"Female circumcision," Tanner said, gripping the steering wheel, "they cut off the girl parts because in hyenas they can be bigger then the dudes, in much of Africa it can be about the same but it's a clipping the reduces pleasure."

They drove in a silence that confirmed more than argued.

"Danielle, I don't know you well," She said into the quiet rumbling car, "but you are welcome to stay with me, if you need a place with a friendly face."

"I can't impose," Danielle said.

She tried to argue but Danielle continued to refuse.

"Will you be there tomorrow," she asked, what do you think peanut, she rubbed her calm belly, "I want to make sure you are ok?"

"Yes," Danielle said eyebrows knit, "I will try and be there tomorrow."

After they dropped her off at the women's Shelter and made sure she would have a bed, She asked Tanner in the car, "How tall do you think she was?"

"Five foot ten," Tanner said, pulling the car out, "I guess, what's up?"

"I want to get her a Niqab," she said, Tanner nodded, "she feels naked without it and I don't think she should stay there, shelters are where family would look right."

Tanner changed lanes turning the car back the way they came, then said, "I don't know about that but there's a place in Lake City, I get my grandma head scarfs they might have something."

"Can we go now, please?"

"Yeah, just let Paul know," Tanner said then started laughing hysterically.

"What are you laughing at," She asked.

Tanner pulled the shirt, "I never imagined I'd go hijab or niqab shopping in this shirt today."

She chuckled, "I'm becoming tempted to leave you in the car, I think you scarred that poor girl."

Chapter 5 Xander now:

Xander had too much energy to just lay there, Oliver fell asleep promptly after giving Sean and him a hug. Sean's anatomy left him stuck in bed left to think about how cool bladder control could really be when you needed it.

"Sean we golden," He asked, while Sean rubbed his shoulders.

"Like, I don't know," Sean said, "I mean shit I've been all over the place today."

"But you won't feel like you did," he said looking back to meet Sean's lichen green eyes, "I can't imagine life without you."

Sean squeezed him, "I'm still kinda depressed but no, I don't know what I was thinking."

"I think you need to go soft," He said, elbowing Sean gently, "because I have to pee."

"That sucks," Sean said as the apartments heat kicked on, "not sure what to do."

I wish Paul was here, Paul scent rushed from the hall, "Shit... Sean we had sex!"

"Just figured that out, did you," Sean asked nipping his cheek ruff.

"Oh, shut up," He snapped, trying again to pull off Sean, "I have a boyfriend and I think Paul was here. Damnit, I should have talked to him."

"What about that whole sharing thing," Sean asked ears dropping, "you were talking about?"

"That's just anecdotal," he said still stuck, "you know, till he and I talk about it, fuck, why is emotional and worked up Xander such an idiot?"

Sean lay back nestling into his pillow, "Maybe because he asked rhetorical questions or speaks in the third person, but I'm just guessing."

"Ha ha... what should I do?"

"Talk to him," Sean said tail tucked, "Be honest I think Oliver and I need to apologize. It will work out one way or another."

He shivered enjoying Sean's tail on his thigh, "So... where was this optimism on the bridge?"

"To hell if I know," Sean said softening, "it was a shitty week."

"Yeah," He said testing his mobility, nope still stuck, he shifted as best he could, "I thought I was going to die when I saw momma at your place."

"Alpha, I know," Sean said pulling them together running a paw down his chest, "I thought she would kill Oliver."

"She gave him one of her glares but I think he's immune they're both so similar and all."

"Alpha Xander, don't say that," Sean said thumping a spare pillow over his head, "I don't want to think about that."

"Wow that softened you up," He said sliding away, "I'm hopping in the shower then calling Paul."

"I'm hungry, I'll get up too," Sean said trying to move but his cuddly Tiger held tight, "or not... Oliver are you awake?"

He slid the rest of the way out of Sean's arms and off the bed. He felt things leak and ran out of the bedroom. He nearly tripped then grabbed a plastic bag in the hall by the bedroom door he didn't remember being there before they had sex. Then he went into the bathroom. Paul's scent was all over the bag. So, he was here. He took out his phone to text Paul but couldn't find words that didn't scared him. He sat on the toilet before spilling Sean's mess all over the floor. His happiness at his first time with Sean after thirteen years of wishing seemed tainted by not having talked to Paul about it first.

"Shower dude, get up and shower," He said to himself then wiped, "find Paul then fix this."

After turning on the hot water he got in the shower. The steaming burn ran through his all black fur unique to him for his family. He hung his head as the flow flattened the mane of fur around his head and neck, it got him the annoying "are you part Chow" question.

"No, I'm a gay mule," he said pounding a pad on the wall, "and I just fell into that fucking stereotype, why didn't I text or call, or... anything... FUCK."

The door closed Sean said, "Hey man you ok in there?"

"I don't know," He answered.

Sean used the toilet, "I want to help if something's wrong."

"I just can believe I cheated," he said, elbows to the wall, "I mean fuck, if it was me and Paul, and Oliver wasn't there would you have done it?"

"No but," Sean said washing, "I probably couldn't have gotten hard, today was a shock, I think we broke Oliver he just can't seem to get enough now."

"I'll bet Paul will be so happy to know that my infidelity fixed both of you."

"Dude it might help, and don't use all the hot water Oliver's got me a tad messy."

He huffed a partial laugh, "yeah yeah, whatever, I will probably, I have to catch Paul anyway."

Oliver came in whispering, "Is he ok?"

"Yeah, I think," Sean said, "we shouldn't have helped him cheat."

"It's not cheating," Oliver said, "well, if we can get Paul in a four way."

"Wow," he said shaking his mane, "I can see you pulled a one eighty."

Sean said, "Yeah prude to a total slu-"

"You're ok Xander," Oliver asked.

"Yeah, I am I guess," He said.

"Good, Sean time to try something new."

"Oof hey," Sean said his curtained silhouette hoisted over Oliver's shoulder, "dude who said I was ready... Save me from this amorous tiger."

"Please you love it." He laughed as he peaked at Oliver carrying Sean away.

From the hall, Sean said, "Have you never heard of a refractory period, it's generally not a suggestion."

He couldn't make out Oliver's response when those two reached the bedroom.

"Fuck Oliver," He switched off the tap and shook mostly dry, "I'm seriously tempted to throw you under the bus for all of this."

While towel drying the rest of the way he composed apologies. They all seemed stupid and hollow.

The headboard hitting the wall brought him back to his senses. He ventured into the bedroom to find his clothes. Neither Sean nor Oliver noticed him and in his haste to get in and out, he hopped on one paw putting on underwear, whose underwear are these, they can't be mine.

He checked his phone again to see if Paul had messaged. Paul hadn't and the silence made him wonder if Paul had really been here like he assumed.

Grabbing the bag from the bathroom he rummaged through it was all party supply's. Paul must have grabbed for the baby shower for his co-worker yesterday. I could have sworn Paul said it was going to be a girl not a boy.

He texted Sean and Oliver, "Dudes, I'm going to Paul's, friend finder has him there." Then walked down to the bus stop.

While he waited, he texted Paul, "Hey you're back in town how was shopping?"

The sun glinted through the buildings down town as his bus rumbled up.

He climbed on the bus ignoring the wet smell of everyone around him.

Paul texted, "Yeah I am."

The bus moved down into the shadowy lakeside of the hill, he texted, "I miss you, what are you up too."

"Do you, huh," Paul texted, after a long pause Paul added, "I'm figuring out where Jill will stay."

"What about Oliver's," He asked bile forming in the back of his throat, "I thought that was the plan?"

Paul didn't reply till He climbed off the bus blocks later.

"Yeah, so did I," Paul texted.

Fuck he was there, Alpha, he smacked his forehead, "I'll help you get the place set up."

He walked past the maples, pines and rhododendrons scattered along the neighborhood street from the bus stop, everything soggy in the drizzly fall air.

"I don't need your help," Paul texted.

He stood on the street in front of Paul's two story blue craftsmen house, Fuck! What do I do?

He slowly walked up the path when a large water drop hit his right ear from the magnolia tree in the yard. He shivered then sat on the covered porch steps, "You were at the apartment?"

The wet city noises washing in the silence of his mind. A by passer waved and he waved back.

"What the fuck do you think," Paul texted, "You bastard."

Don't fucking mention my dad's, He stopped himself from replying, Shit knock on his door this is stupid.

He texted, "Can I come inside?"

Less than a minute later the door behind him slammed against the wall when Paul opened it, "Why the fuck are you here?"

"I have your party decorations," He said holding up the plastic bag, "And I realize I fucked up... and I'm sorry."

"Get inside," Paul said sneering at him, "I'm not doing this on the street."

"Doing what, are we breaking up," He asked following Paul inside.

"Why shouldn't we," Paul said, slamming the door, "it's only been a few days, it's not like we have anything considering you felt it was ok to sleep with my best friend and yours."

They marched up the stairs to the kitchen.

"I did and I didn't," He said leaning against the counter blocking the cutlery from Paul's view, "I wanted you to be there with us, I like Oliver but I love you and Sean."

"Oh yeah, the L word," Paul said, moving to the sink, "Big step you think we are ready for that... maybe we are since we're at, hey boo rush over for a random orgy... sounds great be right there, I got to get a lay in before Jill shows up to use that room."

"Shit, Jill's room," He said, unable to see through the murky water, "I didn't think of that either."

"Obviously," Paul said then started the water and scrubbed the dishes.

"Do you want to break up," He asked cringing at his whine.

"Xander, right now I just want to be alone."

He stood a while then moved to the top of the stairs, "Ok... is it ok to text you later?"

Paul spoke barely above the water, "Tell me why you didn't think of me more, is this something I should expect from you?"

"No, I've never cheated before," He said then waited for Paul to say something, "I was exhausted, emotionally spent and Sean responded to me for the first time since I was a teenager."

"So, you like subbing," Paul asked finally.

"Well, I don't know," He said, shifting from paw to paw, "yes I guess I enjoy that. It was my first time as omega ever, I was saving it for Sean but then when he shut down after... you know like Oliver and then there was the camp. He never got better. I eventually started to play around everyone wanted me to be alpha because I'm big down there."

"So, you'd sub for me?"

"You want me too," He asked, "I thought you were all power kitten."

"Prime damnit Xander," Paul said tossing the spatula he was washing in the sink, "I'm five foot one, no one wants to bottom for me."

"I didn't know, I'm sorry," He said gripping his elbow, I'm mirroring Sean.

"I like you," Paul said a low growl in his throat, "but you don't think of me when it comes to sex or my feelings in general."

"I do, I mean," Xander said, "I brought you your bag."

"Oh thanks, that means so much," Paul said narrow eyed, "you brought a bag I dropped when I saw you cheating."

"I... how can I fix this," He asked setting the bag on the counter.

"Find a place for Jill," Paul growled down at the dishes, "I'm not having her sleep in a lube and cum stained fucking bed."

"Ok, I'll fix everything," He said stepping forward to hug Paul.

"Don't touch me," Paul said.

"I'm sorry." He said then went to the front door.

Chapter 6 Oliver:

Oliver snuggled Sean, Don't think about mom or dad... why did you sleep with Xander?

He rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.

An argument with his dad echoed in the silence, "Prime our Father, my son is not my son anymore, please, PLEASE, bring him back to us... not dead disfellowshipped, but without fellowship you are as good as dead, please son, please listen to reason... Prime help my son to be made free from sin... and become a servant to you, give him your fruit of holiness, and the everlasting life."

"Why can't you love me for me, He yelled, "you only ever, ever and always, wanted me to be something else."

"Prime forgive me, Oliver forgive me I failed you both."

"That's right you failed you are incapable of loving on any other terms but your own, you arrogant, selfish, fool."

"You don't even understand FIV, if you did you'd know I'm not a risk being near the grandkits," He yelled, getting only silence then a 'your call had been disconnected' message.

"Prime Fucking Damnit!" He screamed then slammed the phone into the floor and stomped on it."

"Oliver, are you ok," Sean asked.

Don't answer, he's depressed he doesn't need your drama, "it's nothing," he said, "just thinking about Paul," oh, prime Paul what was I thinking, shit I just made fucking drama.

"We shouldn't have done that," Sean said, "we made Xander cheat."

"No," he said, "you didn't, I did or he did."

Sean snuggled up next to his left side, head on his chest, nose to his chin, I really don't have the fruits of holiness anymore.

"You know Paul well," Sean said, "is he the forgiving type?"

He stared more at the ceiling, "I don't think there is forgiveness."

Sean held his breath, then said, "I think there is, I have to believe there is."

"This isn't your fault," he said, "not the rape, the camp, or this."

"I hit my dad," Sean said.

"Mine disfellowshipped me," He said, I have no family, I had Paul and look what I did.

"I'm sorry," Sean said, "didn't they do that a long time ago."

"It was never spoken out loud," he said, "till Paul said it, I-I think I'm angry at Paul for having said it."

Sean shifted, "Is that why we played with Xander?"

"No, I wanted-," he said rolling away from Sean, "never mind it's stupid."

"What's stupid it's ok," Sean asked.

"I wanted you to be my first," He said, "but your allergy kept getting in the way, and the other time you left."

"That, was your first time," Sean asked, "Me, you and Xander?"

"Yeah, I like Xander but," He said, "But I thought you wouldn't want too again."

"I want to all the time," Sean said, "I just can't... with you and Xander, that was the first time I could... I live on porn, I can't get it to work, cause whenever I try having sex, I-I have anxiety."

"So, that was your first," He asked rolling back to Sean.

"I've tried many times," Sean said, "You have been the first none failure."

"What made the other's failures," He asked.

"Well, in college," Sean said, "I tried but I was so aggressive, I freaked this guy out. I don't know how to be normal. Then Neal and I tried, he's not big into Wolves, and he sounded like that guy I terrorized. It's like everything reminds me of what happened like I can't not think about it."

"I know what you mean," He said.

Sean got up, "I'm going to get some water, you want anything?"

He nodded, "A coke..."

I pushed at Jeff whose grey horned muzzle loomed over me, "Seriously man, stop."

"Fucking tease," Jeff said, "you're the one that came over."

"I'm not ready for that," I said heart racing as things softened, "The cuddling and kissing is fine."

"Fuck... Fine whatever," Jeff said getting off me, "I'm going to get some water, you want anything?"

"Yeah, a coke would be nice," I said sitting up on the couch.

"You're kinda skinny for a big breed," Jeff said from the kitchen, "How much do you weigh?"

"Yeah, I'm just one sixty-six," I said, "it's hard getting the calories how I need them, kinda expensive."

"Ah, that makes sense," Jeff said moving around, "Well you have sexy eyes and your colors, I love amber and oranges."

"Thanks."

Why did I come, should I leave, could I just slip out, my shoes are at the door, but he'd notice?

I leaned on the back of the musty couch to peek into the kitchen, Where did he go?

Leave, I should leave, this is wrong... but that would be rude, I mean he stopped, so-so, its ok now... right?

I peered around again, heart unable to calm, then soft padded to the door. I knelt to grab my shoes and checked my back pocket for my keys.

"What are you doing," Jeff asked behind me coming from his bedroom, "I have your coke?"

"Oh nothing," I said jumping out of my skin, "just getting my keys out of my pocket."

I put my keys in my shoes and took the glass he offered me, then stood, what do I do, I don't want to be here.

Jeff asked, "Have you ever seen Queer as Folk?"

"No... I think-"

"Come watch," Jeff said, "every gay man should watch it."

My heart raced, he put his paw on my shoulder, it made my skin crawl and fur stand. He was still hard.

I shrugged his paw off as he led me back to the couch.

"I think I, I should-"

"You have such a great ass," Jeff said.

I sat half a cushion away from him.

"Drink, relax sexy," he said then got up taking out Big Trouble in Little China from the DVD player swapping in Queer as Folk, "Just lay there and be beautiful."

I looked at the door and my shoes then took a drink, and coughed, "What's in this."

"Just some rum and coke," Jeff said, "you need help relaxing, I just want to help you, you want a massage?"

"I'm not twenty-one," I said.

"It's justa shot you'll be fine," he said.

I took another sip.

Jeff sat next to me.

He leaned over for a kiss, so I took another sip. He hovered there, so I kept drinking and leaning away.

"Thirsty, I see," he said as the title screen started, "I can get you another, such nice legs."

"Ah... I'm fine," I said.

He hit play and a colorful intro started. A couple minutes into the show my head felt warm like I had a fever in my brain but it wasn't unpleasant for some reason.

Jeff leaned in for a kiss again.

"No, need to pee," I slurred wobbling to stand.

"I'll pause it," he said.

"It's ok," I said stumbling down the hall to the bathroom near his bedroom.

I could hardly stand I leaned against the counter for support as I sat on the toilet.

My brick phone buzzed, mom texted, "See you for dinner hun, say hey to Derek for me, and have fun."

I shouldn't be here, my phone slipped from my tingling digits.

I leaned forward to grab my phone nearly falling off the toilet.

"you ok in here," Jeff said entering.

I couldn't speak or sit up again.

"Ok, you're ok," He said coming over and lifting me to my paws, "let me help you."

I leaned forward nearly toppling over trying to grab my phone and pull up my pants.

"I got you, you're ok," he said propping me against his left shoulder while he grabbed my phone. He checked my texts and calls, shoved it in my pants pocket then pulled my pants up.

I stumbled trying to support myself.

"You're safe, I have you," He said as I slumped back against him. He dragged me from the bathroom and my pants fell.

He pulled off my shirt then let me fall backwards onto his bed.

What are you doing?

He answered like he could hear me, "Just relax I'll show you," then he slipped off his shirt.

Move, why can't I move.

He pulled my pants off and hoisted my legs over his shoulders as he loomed over me.

No no no, I started to cry.

"Just relax," he said, lowering his mouth to my slack jaw.

Stop no, stop.

He licked around the inside of my mouth. His smile faded.

"You're crying..." he said angrily flipping me over, "why are you ruining this."

He climbed atop me, with his suffocating weight.

Prime, I'm sorry, help me please.

He reached under me squeezing my balls to hard, "come on it's time to enjoy it."

I finally peed.

"You fucking little shit," he yelled wiping his damp paw on my chest then hitting me hard in the side of the head. Lights danced in my eyes.

Don't kill me please, don't kill me.

"Fine fuck you," he said pressing himself against me, "You don't deserve it, but I'm horny."

Prime, help me.

He grabbed me by the throat and spit on his other paw.

I can't breathe.

He slicked between my legs then pressed against me again.

"God, you're a tight little bitch, aren't you," he said grabbing something from the nightstand then held my mouth shut and covered my nose, "Come on this will help you relax."

He's going to kill me, I'm going to die, Prime I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.

He uncovered my nose and I sucked in acrid metallic air from a bottle pressed to my nose.

"That's better," he said.

My muscles relaxed a tad, I screamed in pain, as the top and back of my brain went light and fuzzy, no one heard or cared.

Chapter 7 Paul Then

"Honey are you all ready?" Mommy asked from down stairs.

"Yes mommy," Paul asked scrambling to the front door his Catman backpack all packed and ready, "are you taking me to school now?"

"Oh, look at you, Pauliwog," mommy said, "you look so grown up."

Mommy bent down licking the top of his head, then hugged him. He hugged her back while he shivered and thrashed his tail.

"Are you excited honey?" Mommy asked.

"Yes, I had to wait," He said proudly, "now it's my turn."

Mommy tickled a claw behind his ear and tapped the colored spots along his neck, and asked, "You know what these brown and gold dots are right?"

"The marks of a true hunter," He said and giggled at her tickling paw.

"A hunter giggling," mommy said then she tickled him till he had tears in his eyes, "I've never heard of such a thing, but laughing that's another story."

He leapt away ready for another tickle attack but mommy knelt there.

"What's wrong mommy?" He asked, mommy smelt scared.

"Oh, nothing honey," mommy said, "I'm just going to miss you while you're at school."

Waves of terror grip him, he cried, "I don't want to go mommy!" Then he ran to her.

"Oh, it's ok," Mommy said and scooped him up, "I don't want you to go either, Pauliwog, but it's time to be the big boy around here and that means going to school."

He buried his muzzle in the safe cinnamon of her neck.

"You know," mommy asked, "you may be one of the oldest in class, right."

"No, I'll be the second oldest Jill is starting today too," He said proud to know something mommy didn't.

"Good you'll keep Jill safe today, but do you remember the rules of a true hunter?" mommy asked, "Can you tell me it?"

"A true hunter knows how to protect what's theirs but knows when to run," he said.

"And when do you run?" Mommy asked.

"When there is no hope of winning."

"And what is the family rule?"

"If you can't win change the game," He said.

"Good boy, ready to walk to school," Mommy asked and led him out the door.

"Can we run?" he asked and dashed ahead before mommy could answer.

"You can run till we get to Jill's then we walk, Jill and her mommy need to be able to keep up ok," mommy said and jogged next to him.

"Why would Jill need protection, mommy?" He asked as they moved down the left curving street to Jill's house, wind rustling the trees freeing last night's rain and the dew to tickle his nose.

"Some people think that because they are bigger they can do what they want or make you do things you don't want to do," mommy said.

"Like parents," He asked.

Mommy laughed, "No honey I mean big kids."

"But that's not fair," He said running faster to win.

"No, it isn't, which is why we would stand up for her," mommy said.

He reached Jill's mailbox first and jumped in celebration.

Jill came out with her mommy, Momma Greyhouse only a couple inches shorter than mommy. Jill came up to his shoulder her goldenrod ribboned headband bobbed under his muzzle when she gave him a hug hello.

"You have a pretty dress," He said to be nice.

Jill spun in it. "My mommy made it for me, it's my new favorite, special for today, I got to pick out the ribbons and buttons." Jill said, "See they match my head band."

"They're nice," He said, "my mommy got me a Catman backpack, see," then showed her.

"Daddy got me a Ratwoman backpack," Jill said, twirling, "now we match."

"Ok you two," Mommy said, "let's walk to school now."

"Can't we go to the park," He said claws digging into his backpack straps.

"It's ok to be nervous," Momma Greyhouse said, "little man, I believe in you."

"I'm not, I'm a big boy," he said scratching his nose, "are we going now?"

"Yes you are," Mommy said, "and stay where we can see you."

"Mommy you can smell us out," Jill said with a pout.

"Where I can see you honey."

"Ok," He and Jill chorused.

Jill also wore yellow galoshes and held her dress up safe while she jumped from puddle to puddle next to the curb.

He walked on the sidewalk, shoulders hunched unable to put his feelings to words.

He was about to run home when Jill tagged him.

"I'm now Ratwoman your nemesis," Jill said with a cackle then ran off, "and I just took your utility belt."

"But Jill," He said running after her, "Why don't you want to be on my side?"

"Cause," she said skipping into a puddle, holding her tail up, "Sometimes Ratwoman works with Catman if she wants too, but not today she is the terror of the store keeper and banks."

"I'll stop you."

He caught up at the corner of Hyland Way while Jill waited for their mommy's.

"Do you want to team up," he asked gripping his backpack straps tightly, "there could be big villains at the school?"

"Sure, we can fight crime together," Jill said, then pirouetted in the big puddle.

"Honey watch the dress," Momma Greyhouse said, eyes twinkling with joy.

"I don't like it," mommy said when she and Momma Greyhouse caught up, "starting them late like this, being a year or two older won't change things. We are smaller furs all this does is put them behind kits their own age."

"What can we do about it," Momma Greyhouse said, "I wrote my congressmen it's not like they listen unless you can get them reelected."

The safety of Ivy and Cinnamon reached him releasing his claws from his backpack straps.

"Oh, look down there," Mommy said, she and Momma Greyhouse stopped to talk, "are the Jenson's building an addition."

He ran ahead up Hyland way, he called back to Jill, "Ratwoman, a crime is afoot."

"Oh No, let's stop them Catman," Jill giggled and ran after him.

They reached the curve in the road where the crosswalk leading to the school's field connected to a playground on their side of the street. There were some big kits hanging around the playground. A sheep around their age was in a terraced yard on the school side across the street from them. While they waited for their mommies to catch up Jill splashed in the puddles in the playgrounds pathway.

The tallest of the big kits was a paw shorter then mommy, they wandered over. It was a moose calf, a wolf pup and a young bison, their Tarragon, Cedar, and Heather worried his nose.

"Jill let's stay on the sidewalk," He said moving parallel to Jill wary of the big kits.

"Look we have some runt starts," the bison said.

"I'm not a runt," Jill said still splashing merrily, "I'm big for my age."

"I giant mouse," the wolf asked, "Cause she isn't a rat."

Jill kept splashing but her tail straightened, Jill needs help, Mommy hurry.

"Oh, she must be a mule," The moose said the three looming over her, "You're not a mouse or a rat, are you?"

"Leave her alone," He said, fists shaking at his sides.

"I wasn't talking to you pussy," the wolf said, dismissing him.

Jill didn't answer stepping back towards the bigger kits.

"Answer us mule," the bison said stepping closer to her.

"I said leave her alone," He said, fur standing as he arched his spine standing on the tips of his pads, "our mommies are going to be here then you'll be in trouble."

"She must be a mute mule," the moose said shoving Jill.

Jill stumbled nearly falling, dropping her tail in the mud.

He pushed the moose barely moving him, "stop that you jerks."

Then the wolf punched him in the stomach making stars dance in his eyes.

"Leave us alone, mommy help," Jill shrieked.

The Bison pushed Jill so hard she flew back splashing in the puddle covering her dress in filth.

A bleat came from behind them and the sheep from across the street rammed head first into the side of the moose just under the ribs. He bleated again in fear or it might have been intended as a warning.

The three bully's ran off when Mommy, Momma Greyhouse and a Grownup Sheep came running over.

Jill cried in the puddle, "Mohahommy, I, I ignored them like you said anhend they wouldn't go away."

"Come here honey," The Mommy sheep said, "your nose is bleeding. That was brave of you baby, are you ok."

"Pauliwog, did they hurt you," mommy asked picking him up. He shook his head and cried mutely.

"There there," mommy said petting his head while he held her tightly, "your safe honey I'm here."

"I'm Alice Clark," the mommy sheep said, "we have a mud room that leads to the guest bathroom, you can wash off and even put the dress in the wash."

"Thank you," Momma Greyhouse said, carrying a distraught Jill while following Mrs. Clark, "I'm Gloria this here is Jill I appreciate this."

"You're both welcome," Mrs Clark said.

"I'm Angela, this is my son Paul," mommy said, then to the little sheep, "thank you little man."

"I'm Timmy, I'm a hero," Timmy said through the sleeve pressed to his ruby wet nose.

"Yes, you are little man," Momma Greyhouse said while everyone crossed the street to the blue house with the terraced yard, going inside through the organized garage. Alfalfa, oat and sage wafted over them when they entered the house. Mrs Clark showed Momma Greyhouse to the guest bathroom, with white tiles and a blue painted shoe bench coat cabinet built ins, in the mudroom giving them some towels and got a first aid kit to fuss over Timmy. They moved through mudroom to the kitchen, with a plant filled window box and white tile counters.

Mommy sat him on the counter edge, "You ok honey?"

"I couldn't protect Jill," He said nearing tears again.

"But you tried little man," Mommy said licking the top of his head, wrapping him in safe cinnamon arms, "that matters too."

"Why did they call Jill mule," he asked rubbing his eyes to force the tears back, "then push her?"

"They didn't, did they," mommy said with the hints of a growl, "I am definitely talking with the principle."

"What is mule?"

"Jill is half mouse half rat," mommy said, turning to Mrs. Clark, who froze cleaning Timmy's nose, "that's a hybrid, and some hybrids can't be a mommy by having their own baby."

"What will she do mommy," He asked.

"Like I said some hybrids," mommy said, "if she can't she can adopt or find a surrogate."

"What's surrogate," he asked, bouncing his paws against the cabinets.

"Honey do you want down," Mommy asked, "and err, it's a mommy that will help her be a mommy."

"Down mommy," he said holding his arms up, "what do I do if I see those boys again?"

"Don't be scared or show your feelings," mommy said, setting him down, "remember the code of a true hunter and our family code are the answer?"

"Protect what's mine," he said, wiping his nose with his wrist, "but know when to run and if I can't win, change the game."

"Exactly honey," mommy said crouching down, "if they can't see or smell how you feel you can still change the game because they won't know what to expect. You understand?"

"No..."

"Someday you will honey."

Timmy ran over bring an Alfalfa and Sage breeze," Do you want to make a castle?"

Chapter 8 Timothy:

The house sighed when the front door opened.

"Daddy," Timmy cried running for the door tackling daddy's hip with a hug.

"Hey little man," Daddy said, dropping to one knee, "how was your first day? What happened to your nose? Here have a seat."

Timmy hopped up onto daddy's knee, "We had games and I got to color, I made friends with a cat and half mouse, and I got invited to a birthday, and I got to be the boy, but being the girl hurts less."

Daddy's eye brows raised, "Sounds like a busy day little man, but what do you mean being the girl hurts less?"

"I was the boy," he said playing with daddy's tie, "and hurt my nose after the puddle."

"Dear, I'm glad your home," she said wiping her paws on a kitchen towel, "how was work?"

"Our current contract looks solid thankfully," daddy said, standing picking him up off his knee,

"but after this one I'm not sure. There's my cousin at Boeing if we don't get another. I know you say I shouldn't worry that the shepherd will provide but I think I'd be the next to be laid off. Looks like Timmy hurt his nose? Did he fall in a puddle?"

"No daddy," he said shaking his head, "I wasn't in the puddle, Jill was, so I kept my head down being the boy, the way you showed me. Want to see the castle Paul and I made daddy," he gestured for daddy to set him down.

Daddy scrunched his eyebrows, "Wait you got in a fight... already?"

"He tackled a moose," she said, "some bigger lambs were picking on a half mouse and calico around his age from down the street."

"Yeah Daddy, being the boy hurts," he said pulling on daddy's arm, "but I can do it, come see the castle."

"Who was picking on them," Daddy asked, "where were you and the other parents."

"The phone rang," she said, "since the answering machine ate the tape yesterday I went to grab it, it all happened in a minute, it was some third graders that hangout at the Channing height park during recess," Mrs. Clark, Ms. Russo and I talked to the principal."

"Daddy come on," He said pulling daddy's arm.

"Ok I'm coming little ram," Daddy said standing up, "so you tackled a moose huh? Good for you my little champ."

"My nose bleeded."

"Probably hit a bone then," daddy said, "and you got invited to a birthday that's great."

He pulled daddy to follow him to the playroom.

"Yeah Paul's a cat and nice," He said sitting by his wooden block fortress, "we played superheroes on the field and Jill played too, I made Arthur's Castle daddy like our story."

"So, which is Guinevere," Daddy asked.

"That's Arthur killing the monster and the princess is in the tower."

Daddy picked up Arthur, "If that's the princess in the tower. Who's that on the pillow?"

"The pillow is the lake," he said making the lady dance on the water, "and that's the lady on the lake, cause mommy said no scissors."

"Yes, he's very literal," She said from the door, "the lady couldn't be in the lake so now she's on it."

"Sorry honey, my fault," Daddy said, "I think that comes from the engineering side, so who are you playing, little man, do you want Arthur back?"

"I'm the lady of the lake," He said, "Because she's a sheep but can swim and live in the water. Paul was Arthur now you are."

"Ah," daddy said, "so you wanted a super power over a sword, I get that, who's the Princess," daddy winked at her.

"Mommy," He said, "daddy, we are a team we can save the kingdom."

"From one monster?"

"No there's an army coming from the bed," He said.

"Ah we can handle it," daddy said, making Arthur brandish a sword, "right Alice?"

"Yes, the princess has magic too," she said, "will heal wounds while Arthur fights."

After some battle sound effects, He asked, "why were those big kids mean to Jill?"

"Well," daddy said raising an eye brow at her, "it's hard to say little man, some people look for differences to mock. Is she different?"

"She is half mouse half rat," she said setting the princess plushy down.

"Oh, an unnatural," daddy said, "son she is rare and that makes her different. But she might not be able to do things others can."

"But they're mean to her."

"Yes, they were," she said, "everyone that's not a sheep is different, so almost everyone is different, honey, but we love them all just the same, as the shepherd asks of us."

"So, Jill is special then," He asked making the lady bounce around the pillow lake.

"Yeah," Daddy said smiling making Arthur roundhouse kick an evil plushy, "I guess you can say she is."

She shook her head, "sometimes I think you like play time more than he does Lawrence, Timmy are we winning?"

"Yeah... Am I special too," He asked.

"Yes, you're our little man," She said, "and our little hero, you are very special."

"And we love you," daddy said, "because you're so special."

"Ok, I'm glad I'm special then," he said, the lady making jets of water knock giant dragon flies from the sky, "Can I take swimming lessons?"

"Timmy," she said, shrugging a shoulder at daddy, "we aren't really made to swim honey."

"Paul and Jill get swimming lessons, why not me?"

"Why? Sheep just aren't swimmers," Daddy said then set down Arthur, "Even when all sheared we aren't that good, but if you want to learn we can see if there is a teacher that works with sheep."

"Please mommy, daddy," He asked making the lady dance over the pillow lake, "Can I done lessons with Jill and Paul,"

"Do lessons honey," She said, "maybe, but most teachers don't take none swimmers in their classes."

"Why?"

Daddy scooted to the other side of the battle field, "They have to focus on just that one student to make sure they're safe."

"Oh ok," He said, "I'm hungry, I want pancakes."

"Let's get you a snack," She said, "dinners still a while off."

"So, honey, the half Mouse," Daddy said to her, "That's the Greyhouse kid right? I think I met her parents at orientation."

He skipped to the kitchen.

"Yeah, the substitute teacher and the counselor."

"Ok, did I meet this Russo," daddy said, "and why is she a not a Mrs?"

"Well, Ms. Russo isn't married honey," she said, "I really feel for her, she's Pridian and had a child before marriage, then the boy's father died on deployment."

"The Shepherd protect them," Daddy said, "honey this could be our chance to tell them of the Flock."

"I don't know but we can try." She said turn into the kitchen, "I asked about her faith and she called herself a Jack Pridian but that she was raising Paul in it, too have a community."

"Mommy are we having pancakes," He asked arms up for daddy to pick him up to the table.

"Not so close to dinner," she said, "how about apple sauce, cinnamon oats and carrots sticks?"

"Yay!"

"Timmy, I'm glad you made friends," Daddy said, "you opened a door for the shepherd today."

"I just did what you and mommy said to do."

"And we are proud of you honey."

Chapter 9 Jill then:

Jill hid in the linen closet behind the spare blankets and pillows on the tall second shelf, wafting with house dust and fabric softener, I'm never going to school, ever again, I'll run away.

She held her fully packed little suitcase she found at the thrift store, when mommy took her to get dress-up clothes. Everything she could need tucked inside, she got her special blanket, her dolly, a dress and the money from monopoly, in case she needed to buy anything.

Mommy moved around the house, She's probably worried sick about me, and she should be, trying to make me go to school tomorrow.

"I can't make them stop," She said nuzzling her Ratwoman dolly, "and mommy wasn't there," mommy's lavender leave in conditioner made it even more reassuring to have, "If I was like you I'd have been fast enough and smart enough to do something."

Her tummy rumbled, Running away is hard. Maybe I can sneak out and get a snack then go back to running away.

Mommy walked closer to the closet, while on the phone, "Yes, hello again, this is Jill's mom."

She hid under one of the blankets heart pounding in her ears incase mommy opened the door.

"Yes, I still need to speak with the principal," Mommy trailed off as she moved away, "it does matter that it happened at the park and not at the school... no they were your students and shouldn't have been off campus, that's why you can't dismiss this issue..."

She sat tracing a nail along the Paisley swoops of her hiding sheet, as her racing heart gentled.

"Mommy's not even looking for me," She said and grabbed the suitcase, "she doesn't love me."

She slipped out from the blankets and peaked out the door. Mommy wasn't nearby so she ran to the kitchen. Her pink dress billowed out, she threw the hem back like a cape, "Nawt NAH, Ratwoman."

She pulled a stool out from the peninsula counter top, and climbed up. She walked across the counter to the cupboard, where mommy kept the cereal, then grabbed the fruit loops.

While she climbed down daddy came into the kitchen, "Hey sweet pea, having some cereal?"

She scrambled to the floor hiding the suitcase from daddies view, "daddy you're home?"

"Yeah," Daddy said then took some smoked salmon dip from the fridge, "my day opened up so I thought I'd see my favorite girl."

She held her doll under the big cereal box a third her height, "You came for me?"

"Yeah it was your first day of school and that means you're a big girl now, I want to hear all about it. I'm making a bowl of dip and pita chips do you want one too?"

"A bowl all my own," She said pushing her suitcase against the counter, with the cereal in front, "yes please daddy, Ratwoman didn't get to go daddy she had to stay home. Can I stay too?"

"Oh we both need to listen," Daddy said making a bowl with chips piled to one side, "come here then you can tell us both about it, so what do you think of school? And wouldn't you miss your friends if you don't go with them?"

"It was boring and I don't want to go back, home is better."

"What did you do at school that wasn't fun?"

"I got to meet everyone, Paul and I met a nice Sheep Timmy, he's coming to Paul's birthday. We played super heroes, but we couldn't play on the recess field, we had to hide."

"Why did you do that honey," Daddy asked a frown creasing his face.

"Because there was only one teacher," She said taking the savory salmon dip bowl daddy offered her, "she was outside watching kickball."

"Someone made you scared honey?"

"Yeah, what's a mule daddy?"

The bowl daddy started spooning dip into dropped with a glass thunk, then he said, "Well, being short has a few benefits I guess."

"That was loud." She said.

He collected the unbroken bowl, then said, "honey it's a name people use to make fun of people that can't have a baby. Many hybrid mommies can't have a baby and need to adopt."

"I'm not old enough," she said, "mommy's need to have daddy's first, setting the cereal box on its side and putting the dip on it. She picked it all up using the cereal box as a platter.

"That's very true, honey," Daddy said following down the hall, "where are you going?"

"I need to get back to running away, so mommy won't make me go to school tomorrow."

"I see, where are you running away too?"

"The closet, don't tell mommy," she said conspiratorially.

"I won't honey," Daddy asked grabbing her suitcase, "is it cause of the bullies that you don't want to go to school."

"Yes, they pushed me in the mud, now moms on the phone and wants me to go back to school."

"You liked school when there aren't bullies right, and you and Paul want to go together?"

"I do," she said walking down the hall with daddy in tow, "but right now I'm running away."

Mommy still spoke on the phone in the living room.

"Ok," Daddy said getting the linen closet door, "let me know if you want me to read with you."

"I will daddy." she said setting her cereal platter on the left side of the second shelf next to the blanket and pillow fort she made. She climbed onto the shelf and settled in the corner.

Daddy knelt to pass her the suitcase, then said, "you know those bullies won't always be there, you are a better person honey not trying to fight."

"I know what to do daddy," She said, "when I'm all growed up I'll be a real mommy and have my own baby no adoption."

Daddy's muzzle fell, "Ok honey I love you."

"I love you too daddy, close the door... no wait hugs?"

Daddy opened the door and hugged her with a kiss on her forehead then turned on the closet light and shut the door.

"I'll be a real mommy, the best there ever was," She said eating some dip and crackers.

"Honey, is she still there," Mommy asked.

"Yeah, I think she's ok," Daddy said, "she just had a rough day."

"They pushed her Edwin," Mommy said, "I just can't believe the school isn't shocked... I mean the things they said."

"I know honey, but she seems more worried that you don't care, lets just keep her focused on getting to be with her friends, or do you want to homeschool?"

"You know I can't," Mommy said, "Counselors, you are so good at calming me down into a corner."

"That's how I got you to marry me." Daddy said

"Shhh Ratwoman, I'm listening, maybe daddy will get mommy to be teacher."

Chapter 10 Oliver:

I still couldn't move. Jeff finished while biting deep into my shoulder. He climbed off and put the glass bottle in a mini fridge under the nightstand. He left the room and me in silence. Sports news drifted through the halls.

I cried silently but no more tears came, I wish I was dead, Prime why?

I fell asleep, when I awoke yellow-orange light shined through the window.

Sports reporting still drifted through the halls. I shifted to my side then froze from the physical pain inside and from joy, I can move.

My heart race faster than when he made me inhale.

Dizzily I got up, stumbling for my clothes. I couldn't find my underwear. Dressing quickly I went to the fridge. Inside three small bottles sat. Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate Acid, Rohypnol, and Amyl Nitrite I grabbed them and tried to walk quietly. At the end of the hall I saw his back while he watched TV. Run, Hide.

I held my breath as I grabbed my shoes, my key clinked inside them.

His ear twitched. I swallowed, heart in my ears while I crouched there. I watched his every move while feeling for the door handle with my left paw, shoes and bottles in my right. I found the knob and turned it.

"E-mail me next time you want it," Jeff said.

I ran.

At the end of his walkway, I cut the corner of his lawn tripping over a Gnome. The bottles smashed under me cutting my right paw and arm.

I scrambled up running to my car. I franticly felt my pockets, "Where are my damn keys."

I started to dry cry again.

Pulling futilely at the door handle. I dropped my shoes and they jingled.

I grabbed my keys, I got into my old volvo, tossing my shoes across the car.

Jeff exited his home carrying a trash bag.

I started my car, run him down, do it, then drove away as fast as I could away. When a quarter of the way home, I pulled off the road hyperventilating. Finishing a warm vitamin water I cranked the seats tilt wheel to lean back.

"Prime, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I yelled at the roof of my car, "I should have left... why am I like this, if I wasn't like this, it wouldn't have happened."

I pounded on the car door till something popped in my left paw. Motes danced in my eyes. I took a deep breath, I smelled like piss, Rhino Musk and chemicals. I sat staring at the gray cloth ceiling.

"Hey, Oliver here's your coke," Sean said.

He waited.

"Oliver... Dude you ok, your drink," Sean said.

"What... oh thanks," He said staring at the white ceiling.

"Where were you space cadet," Sean asked cuddling next to him.

"Faraway, wishing I was someone else," he said.

"You smell like our first night," Sean said.

He squeezed Sean, "I'm surprised you could smell anything right now, captain snifflelupigous."

"Come on," Sean said, "you were thinking about it."

"Yeah, I was," He said, "neither of us can stop that."

"True," Sean said, "sometimes I forget everything else and only think about it."

"Me too," he said, "I didn't mean to make this situation for you."

"It's ok, we're ok," Sean said leaning in for a kiss.

He clamped his teeth, an unwanted kiss warred with this one.

Sean kissed his muzzle sending a shiver of revulsion down his spine.

He nuzzled Sean's cheek, "I-I can't kiss right now, not after what I was thinking... I'm sorry."

Sean hugged him tight, "No, it's fine, are you ok?"

"Sometimes yes and other times no," he said, "You know what that's like."

"Yeah, it's hard not too," Sean said, "You have to keep such big emotional walls up so everyone around you doesn't have to walk on egg shells."

"I would for you," he said.

"Me too," Sean said snuggling down on his chest, "your very important to me, so what triggered it?"

"Nothing," he said.

"It's never nothing," Sean said.

"I was thinking about dad," he said shifting to spoon Sean, "you know the fight we had, then you said a phrase that made me think of Jeff."

"Jeff is the rhino," Sean asked, "Wait what did I say."

"Yeah Jeff's him," he said, "it's a stupid phrase everyone says it. You offered to get me a drink."

"Should I let you be thirsty," Sean asked.

"No, I've been thirsty for years," He said, "But I think we are needing a break from that."

"Yeah, I think you're right," Sean said, "Both of us are a bit tender down there by now, so the stuff with your family, that's been on your mind a lot, will they come around?"

"No, dad thinks I'm dangerous," he said. Sean scooted back head under his chin.

"My parents came around," Sean said, "with me being gay, I guess, but I just can't share any of this with them it would only hurt them... and... I'm scared to tell them."

"The only ones that know," he said, "what happened and cares are you, Jill, Paul and Xander... but no one ever really knows exactly what happened."

"Are you ready to talk about it," Sean asked, "I don't know if I am."

"Do you know why I hate medicine," He asked.

"It's from your parents right," Sean asked turning so they breathed each other's warm exhalations, "They didn't believe medicine was Godly."

"True but that's only a part," he said his eyes clouding, "Mom converted to be Primes Witness, she came from a Faith healer group but that's not all of it."

Sean waited.

You're making him sad, Sean's accepting eyes made it hurt to speak, "When Jeff was... he-he drugged me I couldn't do anything, I wish I had the choice to fight, I'd have lost-"

He choked on the knot in his throat.

"I got to fight," Sean said hugging tighter, "and it wasn't enough. I've wondered if getting drugged would be better somehow, like I didn't fail."

"I fucked up," He said, "Paul should have known what we were doing... I thought you and I would never be together."

"You should call him," Sean said, "Xander is bee-lining to try and fix it."

"I broke my phone," he said.

"You have skype or muzzlebook."

"True but I'll shower first," He said.

"You really don't have any family," Sean asked, "They all cut you off."

"Yeah, my uncle was disfellowshipped," He said, "Dad always worried Virginia and I would end up like him. Never heard of him again, but he is the only one that might talk to me."

"We could find him," Sean said, "Shouldn't we wash this bedding."

...

"Prime, Jill's going to stay here," he yelled jumping up pulling at the covers Sean still lay on, nearly launching Sean off the bed.

Chapter 11 Paul now:

The door clicked after Xander left. Paul leaned against the sink. He held in a yowl, but his claws shrieked across the stainless-steel sink in a spine-tingling release, Why did I have to fall for a guy that loves someone else.

His head fell as he wrapped his wet arms across his chest, You're going to beat this just get things done.

He started a load of laundry then did more dishes. He drank water but couldn't eat, nausea pulled at him. He ran out of things to keep busy with so he changed out the sheets for Jill then cleaned his bedroom again.

When whipping out the spare comforter onto the bed, his photo of Jill, Timmy and himself on Indian beach just before high school, got its corner caught by the billowing blanket then fell off the nightstand. He scrambled to the frame, picked it up then sat on the bed. The memory of that day bit hard like the water and wind through his fur swimming in the Pacific, So young, happy, and stupid.

He flipped over the frame uncrimping the metal tags holding the distended back in place.

His phone startled him chirping in the silent house from his pocket. He set the photo facedown flat on the nightstand then grabbed his phone.

Oliver's muzzlebook profile lit his screen. He hit ignore then flopped back on the bed.

He messaged Jill and Tanner, "OK change of plans Jill you're staying at our place. Anyway, what do you guys want for dinner?"

Even with the sheets changed and a layer of Febreze, he picked up a faint whiff of Xander and his last time. Heat burned in the backs of his eyes. He rushed to find something to do. He grabbed his keys and headed to the mailbox on the front porch.

His phone buzzed with a new voicemail from Oliver's muzzlebook, then a text from Jill.

Jill wrote, "Hey why the plan change? We are up in Lakecity, not far from that Ethiopian place, let's go there."

"Sounds good I'll meet you there," He wrote back.

He went out the door when Oliver called again. He hit ignore then jammed his key in the mailbox. His heart skipped a beat in the corner of his eye someone sat on the porch swing.

"I thought you left."

"I can't leave," Xander said in his bold bari-tenor, the swings chain-link creaking, "I fucked up and I don't have a place for Jill. The place I have is on the Eastside."

His heart beat in his ears, "So, you're just going to sit on my porch like a creep."

"Not a creep," Xander said, "no I guess I am a creep, I just was thinking and wishing for something, anything to be different."

"Like a better zipper," Paul said slapping the mail box closed, "you know one that's tougher to undo."

"Paul," Xander said head resting against the chain just above his paw hold, "have you loved someone so much it makes you stupid? That's Sean for me. Even though I love him, I care about you."

"Yes, there was, once," he hugged the mail then headed back to the door, "but it's not you, and to be with you right now, that would be crazy."

"Who was it," Xander asked, sitting up deepset yellow and brown almond eyes pleading with his, "was it Oliver, is this more about him?"

He crushed the ads full of local coupons, then said through clenched teeth, "no it isn't about Oliver. You'll never meet that guy now anyway, so just forget about it."

"Promise me I'll see you again," Xander asked.

"Why."

"Because then I'll know I'll have another chance to apologize."

"I don't think you even know what to apologize for."

"No I don't," Xander said, "I wanted you to be there, I didn't want to hurt you."

His phone rang, Oliver's profile lit up his phone again, "You told me, I didn't have to worry, you got my hopes up, that you would want me, just me."

"I didn't think," Xander said, mane drooping, "I didn't think, there could be anything with Sean, then I figured out why he's been so distant-"

"Why are you calling," he said into his phone.

"Hey... so Jill's not staying here," Oliver said voice vibrating deep.

"What do you think?"

"Paul, we were talking," Xander said.

"No, you were leaving," he said, "just taking forever at it."

"What, I'm not," Oliver said, "did I get you at a bad time."

"Yes, it's a horrible time everything you did today seems like horrible timing to me."

"I assume that you did stop by then," Oliver asked, "Dude, I am sorry, how can I fix this."

"I can't leave things like this," Xander said standing.

"I don't want to talk to you," He said, "either of you, you guys sound like a sappy breakup song."

"Kenny Chesney," Oliver asked.

"Like Adele," Xander said.

"Wait who else is there," Oliver asked.

"It's Xander," he said, sneering when Xander's ears fell, "he wouldn't leave after I told him too."

"This is more my fault than his," Oliver said.

"Great to hear I'm glad I can drop all my insecurities and resentments."

"If you really don't want me here," Xander said mane a wind battered black dandelion after his ears dropped, "I'll leave, I am sorry."

"What Paul," Oliver said, "If Jill's staying there where are you sleeping."

"Dude, I'd rather be on a couch than make her sleep on a bed, only to smell your cheating shit."

"Is there something I can do," Xander asked tail under the swing touching his own kneecap.

"Fucking Collies, no there isn't just drop it and go. You fucked up so live with it and leave me alone, right now, I want you gone before Jill gets here."

"Oh," Xander said scratching his forearm, "I wanted to meet her in person and have her meet my mom... even if things don't work out they should meet."

"I've never heard you this mad," Oliver said, "are you ok."

"Of course," His voice broke, "I'm fucking pissed dude, my boyfriend lied... and my second closest friend devirginized with him."

"I'll leave, I am sorry Paul," Xander said stepping off the porch into the drizzle.

He didn't respond stepping back into his apartment.

"I could list the excuses," Oliver said, "why I wasn't thinking, but none matter, I'm sorry. You don't have to sleep on the couch you can have my bed and I'll sleep in the guest bed."

The heat of tears ripped at his guts as he slumped back against the door as it closed behind him, "I don't want you to be sorry, I wanted you to be my friend, for you to have my back. I loved you and you've never loved me, you made that very clear today."

He ended the call before his voice could break again, then cried, Mommy they were never mine and I don't think I can change.

When he breathed normally without hiccups, he washed his face. His mommies blood shot eyes stared back at him from the mirror above the bathroom sink. He couldn't meet them. In a haze, he drove to the Afar Kingdom in Lakecity.

Chapter 12 Xander Now:

Xander walked in the earthy humidity, the wet mossy tang tickled at his throat.

"If I could fix this," he said to himself shifting his step in the wake of a passing car, "what would that even look like."

"What was I expecting, how could I date Paul and Sean, then there's Oliver, no one would be ok with that."

Tires kicking up the wet of the busy road made the white noise he needed to think.

"Is this biology? Maybe I need to call mom."

He dialed moms number, walking and waiting the seven rings before her voicemail, "Hey mom, I wanted to call and see how you were... it's been a really rough day. Anyway, I wanted to ask somethings about my biological dad. Talk to you soon mom love you."

He took a right onto Madison after watching the Bellevue skyline across the water, "Why do I even have the Eastside place I'm never there."

His phone buzzed with a call and a new Muzzlebook notification.

"Hey Sean."

"Hey dog, are you ok," Sean asked, "Oliver seems all shaken up after he called Paul, or from remembering shit."

"Yeah that feelings mutual, Sean why is it that I wish that we hadn't had sex and I'm happy that we did."

"Because it's what you wanted," Sean said, "not how you wanted it, I'm sorry that it's all messy."

"Please you loved getting messy... I want to cuddle but I feel that's not fair to Paul because we haven't actually broken up. I don't know how to fix this... what do I do Sean?"

"I don't think you can fix it," Sean said, "I mean now that I'm thinking about it. We were idiots, I mean if you date Paul and he hates me there is conflict with him and Oliver and you might lose me, but if he leaves you he'll still see both of us cause I'm dating Oliver."

"Sean, I love you as a brother and more, but I really like Paul too, and I'm going to hurt one of you guys... I already have."

Sean didn't speak for a moment, "You've only been dating a little while and I just met him, I don't want to hurt him but you're still more important to me."

"I know... he's like you," Xander said, "you know before camp and everything. I-I like him... and there's a tender vulnerability hidden by his wit and sarcasm. I don't want to hurt him... any more than you know."

"So," Sean said, "now that I'm 'ok' you need a new project."

"No. Sean even before camp you had a brusk and vulnerable side, I don't know it gets me all loving and protective."

"Such a sheep dog, Xander," Sean said "I don't know if this will work out but I will try. When I thought you were done with me as a friend I felt like the glue holding me together was gone, I might be dating Oliver but I love you."

"I know, I love you too," he said warmth filling his shivering center, "is it ok if I come over or should I just walk back to our place?"

"Yeah come over," Sean said, "Oliver expected to see Jill but apparently, that's not happening now."

"Ok, I have a few more blocks," he said then his phone buzzed, "Hey, Sean got another call, it's your mom, see you in a sec."

"Okay man, I ordered a couple pizzas, hope you're hungry."

"Hello," he answered the other call.

"Xander thank goodness," Momma Miller's commanding alto said, "Papa has been texting, and asking if I've heard from Sean and it got me worried. Is everything ok?"

"Ah," he said, clenching his teeth at Sean's noncommunicative tendencies, "so Sean didn't message Papa or you I see, typical, yeah he had a rough day and ran out of a meeting with Papa and his boss. Stuffs been boiling up but I think he's ok right now."

"Oh, thank goodness," Momma Miller said, "would you let Papa know."

"Yeah, I can," he said then wiped the phone screen dry quickly with the inside of his jacket.

Jill messaged him on Muzzlebook, "hey don't know if I'll see you at dinner so IM me, I need to get to know you."

"Thanks honey talk to you soon," Momma said ending the call.

Xander dialed Papa Miller who answered on the first ring, "Xander, thank the Alpha, is Sean ok, I have been waiting outside his place it's been hours, is everything ok."

"Yes, sort of," he said.

"Sort of? is Sean hurt?" Papa said in his clear tenor.

"No sorry, he's fine," he said, "just emotionally burnt out and I don't know confused I guess," water dripped down his neck, he shuttered, Huh I guess that's how I feel too.

"He ran out of work," Papa said, "Xander, he nearly hit me again, please explain how that's fine and what happened?"

"He just went for a walk."

"A walk that's it," Papa asked, "How come you sound like I caught you with your paw in the cookie jar?"

"Ok, I'll explain," he said, "but don't over react," then waited for Papa who remained silent, "So Sean has been a tad emotional and exhausted lately and may have been considering suicide but it's all good now."

"It's... all good now," Papa said, "are you with him."

"No," he said, shivering, "but I'm heading back to where I left him."

"Where you left him? How again do you know my potentially suicidal son is ok?"

"Oh, I pacified him before I left," he said, regretting his word choice immediately.

"...I see," Papa said, "Xander, please don't be the one to explain this to momma, I'm going home now. Tell me if there's anything wrong."

"Momma, yes-no," he said muzzle burning, "I will not tell her."

"Oh, is Sean still quitting," Papa asked, "if not let Franks know."

"No, everything is good if you're still doing the interview."

"Fine... wait a minute," Papa said, "isn't Sean dating that Tiger, how did you pacify... no... never mind. See you soon." Then Papa ended the call.

"Alpha damnit Sean," he said making a by passer look back at him, "first you cause me to moon everyone now that."

He wiped the screen dry with the inside of his shirt then called Mr. Franks.

"Hello? Is this O'Connell," Sean's gruff bull dog boss asked.

"Yeah, it's me," He said reaching the entry door to Oliver's building, "So, I think Sean will be willing to do the interview but it will be a good idea to keep his dad in the process as well."

"That's a relief," Mr. Franks said, "he's hard working and passionate about his job, I'd hated to have lost him, I know I'll hear something from him when he is in... does he need tomorrow off? Sorry back to the point, what can you tell me, what was going on?"

"Well, that Swenson guy," He said paging Oliver's apartment, "He ran or runs a super conservative pack camp, Sean went to it and I guess it was scarring."

"Oh, I know Sean's gay," Mr. Franks said, "I read up on the conversion camp... so I understand."

"Read up on it," He said heading into the elevator, "I've been looking but not getting very far."

"Amy and Vivian," Mr. Franks said, "sent over a more detailed background on Swenson. The guy has a savior complex."

"Did I get co-copied in on that," He asked stepping off the elevator.

"Yeah, they sent it at three-ish," Franks said.

"Ok I'll read it," Xander said, "I'll be in tomorrow."

"See you then," Franks said then ended the call.

He messaged Jill on Muzzlebook, "hey Jill I doubt you'll really need to know me."

Opening his e-mail and reading distracted him for several minutes standing in the hall. Swenson had a mix of faith based ministries and predator rights groups. He started with a witnessing group in high school colorfully called 'Before You Burn' then he was in a predator advocacy group founded by a Tiger before he founded the camp, Xander made a too due reminder to look up that Tiger and 'Before You Burn'.

Sean said, "Hey man that was a long walk."

He closed the door behind himself, "Yeah, I had several extra calls to make. Have you been ignoring Momma and Papa?"

"Kinda," Sean said, "mom called right after we had sex, it would have been weird... to talk to her, you know right after that, why what's up?"

"Oh, Papa's been freaking out," He said heading into the postmodern apartment with designer neutral colored furnishings, "He was waiting at our place and getting Momma worried texting her asking if you had messaged her or knew where you were."

Oliver and Sean snuggled on the couch.

"Hey Oliver, are you ok," he asked picking up a piece of white fluff off the back of the couch, "what happened to the throw pillows."

"It's been a long week," Oliver said.

"Plus, he needs to cut his nails," Sean said.

"I'm not cutting my nails," Oliver said, "I don't want to become a city boy, gross."

"There's always Kevlar covers."

"Prime, that's what Sean said," Oliver said, "what are you guy's clones?"

"Yes," Sean said, "we are clones that look and smell nothing alike, Xander, how's Paul?"

"I think he feels betrayed," He said sitting on the couch next to Sean, "it happened with Jill visiting and with Oliver, what were we thinking?"

"I wasn't," Oliver said leaning into the couch corner pulling Sean and him together and to that side, "I'm all loopy from my meds, but that's still no excuse."

"If someone else was here," Sean said, "I doubt I could have stayed... functional, that was the first time being hard near Xander in a decade."

"Not true," He said, "but you weren't conscious the other time, and what are we?"

"Dirty mistresses," Sean said, "wait what do you mean unconscious?"

"No," He said sitting up then leaning his chin on a paw with an elbow on his knee, "I mean apart from having sex what did we even expect, and you got hard at the hospital with just me in the room I closed the blinds, but not before mooning everyone."

"I don't know," Oliver said, "I like you and Sean, and Paul too, I had a stupid idea that we could all be together."

Sean eyes bugged out at him, he said, "Me too, now I think he hates me."

"How do you accidentally moon people," Sean asked, "wait why were you undressed in my room, I had no expectations, but I never thought about monogamy or non-monogamy."

"Paul wants to be a dad," he said, "so do I, how could we have a multi-relationship with that, it's not fair to the pups."

Sean pulled him into the cuddle with Oliver, "Yeah and our family, I doubt they would be ok with the sexual dynamic."

"Papa might know what we did, or at least what you and I did."

"Xander," Sean growled wide eyed, "you never explained why you were naked in my room, and what do you mean dad might know?"

"Well uhm," he said clearing his throat, "he wanted to know if you were ok and I kinda explained about the bridge and everything, and that just made him more worried, so I said I pacified you and I think he put two and two together."

He and Sean shook with Oliver's booming laughter.

"Alpha Xander," Sean asked throwing his head back onto Oliver's shoulder, "it just fucking happened, who doesn't know?"

"My parents and Momma."

"Probably Jill and Tanner," Oliver said.

"Tanner," Sean said in surprise, "that's the fox from the Carrot store?"

"Yeah that's Paul's roommate," Oliver said.

"Great," Sean said, "did you hear about him coming over," Sean turned to Oliver, "Super awkward, that guy might be bi but he has horrible gaydar, well I guess you could call it flirtdar since he knew I was gay."

"Sean's phone," He said waggling his eye brows at Sean, "was 'personally' dropped off by Tanner."

"Wait how personally," Oliver asked.

"Shut up Xander" Sean said, "nothing happened I didn't realize he was flirting till he was in the apartment and hugging me."

"So," Oliver said, clearing his throat, "if your dad knows about us and Xander, why not try being a quadruple."

"Because Paul is done with me." He said, "still need that fourth part to be quad."

"Seriously Oliver," Sean asked, "how could any of us have a family like that, are you just changing the subject?"

"It's just another untraditional family," Oliver said, "Paul had one, and I had a quote normal family and that fuck me up. I want to talk about it, Xander do you want to choose Sean or Paul? "No I don't," he said paws interlaced with Sean and Oliver's, "I just can't see it working, what would the commitment be, I mean monogamy?"

"Well," Sean said, "it never could if we don't try at all. How about I try talking to Paul next."

"I'd say it couldn't hurt," Oliver said, "but Paul's a spit fire, I think Xander, might explain things to Jill she knows Paul better than anyone."

"Why me, she and I are messaging some but I don't know her?"

"You're with Paul," Oliver said, "and you know everything about Sean and have a habit of saying too much which will get her on your side."

"Great, Xander, don't scare her," Sean said.

"Yeah thanks guys," He said, "Your lack of confidence confidence is so reassuring."

Oliver hugged him through and into Sean.

Chapter 13 Jill Now:

Jill followed behind a tall Desert Fox sales agent who kept giving Tanner uncomfortable looks. Tanner kept his arms crossed over the shirts large font as best as he could, but Bi and Why were still visible.

"Danielle wants to learn to swim," She said, "do you think it would be weird to teacher?"

"You were the swimming coach," Tanner said, "Plus you're a girl why don't you teach her?"

"Because I'm very pregnant," she said, "I just don't teach swimming anymore."

"Ma'am do you know your friends size," The agent asked when they reached the racks of dark cloth.

"Well, I don't know her exact height," she said, "and jumping to demonstrate is both undignified and not possible in my current state... uhm," then pointing at Tanner, "she's about his height but a hyena, wider and shorter muzzle and similar shoulder width."

The agent indicated she wanted Tanner to put his arms to his sides so she could hold a few Niqabs to him.

He grimaced but complied.

The sales woman chuffed after reading the shirt then held up the garments, "Ma'am based on your input I recommend this head cover and this gown, if they don't fit please come back in, I'll give you a gift receipt." They walked to the cashier's desk.

"Oh, thank you dear," She said unable to see over the tall checkout counter, "Do you have a stool?"

"Please step back," The agents said then twisted a crank till the desk accommodated her height, "Sorry my last customer was a Giraffe, poor girl had to crouch through the doors."

"Well everyone's a giant to me," She said making her payment, "I have no idea what that would be like."

"Thank you for stopping by," The agent said, "... Sir are you a Welles?"

Tanner grimaced again, "Yes I am."

"Ah," the agent said rereading the shirt, "I will pray for you and your family."

"I'm sure they'd appreciate that," Tanner said then they left the store.

Tanner didn't speak till they reached the car, "Jill what the hell was that, can you believe the nerve of that lady?"

"I'm sure she feels the same," She said, "particularly, about what you are wearing."

"I am no lady," Tanner said.

"Oh I know," She said buckling up then her phone buzzed, "you're not refined enough for a lady, despite your elegant shoulders."

"I don't have elegant shoulders," Tanner said, "thanks for hitting a guy where it hurts... looks like Paul wants to get food."

"Yeah," she said checking the message, "and I'm not crashing at Oliver's... I wonder what's up?"

"No clue," Tanner said, "hey we aren't far from that Ethiopian place, let's go there."

"Yeah that sounds good," She said typing at her phone, "I'll let him know, so is that place Halal?"

"I think so," Tanner said, drumming the steering wheel, "wait Jill you can't be thinking... but we are right nearby."

She messaged Xander, " hey don't know if I'll see you at dinner so IM me, I need to get to know you."

"Please, I doubt she's eaten yet," she said, "we can give her the present."

"Fine," Tanner said turning south on 45th.

Her stomach itched, "Hey peanut, settle down, I think he likes Ethiopian."

"Probably all the tart flavors," Tanner said.

She leaned back breathing calmly to try and settle Peanut down.

She opened her eyes when the car stopped.

"As it is a women's shelter," Tanner said passing the shopping bag, "I'll wait right here... please hurry before people think I'm suspicious."

"Ok," she said, "can you get the door peanuts making it hard to get up."

"Yeah, I'll get it," Tanner said then stepped around the car for her, "thanks for the reminder to never get pregnant."

Xander messaged while she relaxed, " hey Jill I doubt you'll really need to know me."

"Ha, ha," She said taking his arm on the way down, "I know you've been trying so hard, see you in a sec."

She dialed the number on the card the front desk lady gave her when they dropped Danielle off, "Hello, I'm Jill from earlier," She said, "I have some extra cloths for Danielle Jackson, is she available to pick them up?"

"Yes, one moment please," The lady that answered said.

The door buzzed then Danielle and two other ladies stepped out.

"Jill, you are back with haste," Danielle asked.

"Yeah," She said holding up the large paper bag, "you seemed uncomfortable in those clothes so I got you this and I wanted to know if you had eaten."

Danielle said, "I can't be in your debt how can I-"

"It's nothing that you owe me," She said putting the bag strap in Danielle's paw, she stood waiting on Danielle holding her belly, "it is a gift to a friend, I'm about to be a mother and I know I'd want someone to be here for you if you were my daughter, please."

Danielle opened the bag, "thank you Jill, I wish I could repay you."

"Then come to dinner," Jill said, "teach Tanner some manners." "I will thank you again," Danielle said.

"Dear," one of the ladies, a dove, said, "Just dial the number and we can let you back in."

"Thank you, Miss Chelsea," Danielle said holding the bag by the straps in front of her with both paws.

"Come on Peanut is hungry."

Danielle followed, "Who is peanut?"

"The belly bump," She said as they walked back to the car, "still need to pick a name, but I have three that I think Paul will like, do you like Ethiopian food?"

"Yes, it is nice," Danielle said.

She got to the door took a deep breath then Danielle helped her to her seat, "We are ready Tanner Danielle likes Ethiopian."

"That's great, glad I picked it then," Tanner said with an unusually bright smile for Danielle.

"I hope not to be rude," Danielle said, "I mean presuming to teach you but Jill has requested I provide you a lesson in manners, do you know how to eat in public?"

Tanner scowled then backed the car up, "Seriously Jill, not cool."

"Hey," She said, "it's a win win for me entertainment and good company," then added to Danielle, "You'll get to meet Paul my baby's father."

"I will be glad to meet him," Danielle said softly, "You said you could not find a husband I am sorry, in my culture a mother finds one for you."

"Well, I had a partner for three years," She said, "we were engaged then he did the fertility score for the immune system compatibility, we weren't compatible. He said it didn't matter but a month later he left me. My best friends Paul and Timmy offered to help if I needed help being a mother," she said hugging her belly, "Peanut here is my dream come true and its thanks to Paul. Not a normal family but it's what I have."

"I am glad," Danielle said, "and that you will not be alone as a mother, but why does your immune system keep someone from having a child with you?"

"If not compatible," she said, "my body attacks the fetus and it dies before it can grow, but not this one, it was a slim chance. Thankfully it worked, a second attempt with Paul would have been even less likely to work, but we got this blessing."

"I am happy for you," Danielle said, "Will you and this Paul marry?"

Tanner laughed, "he loves her but she isn't his type."

She ignored Tanner and wrote Xander back, "Why wouldn't we meet Paul's been talking about you for days and mentioned you even before you two ever went on a date."

"I understand," Danielle said, "but what of the babe, should not his parents be wed."

"In a perfect world," she said, "he, and I'd be able to have a child easily and be attracted to each other in the same way, Paul and I will just have to do our best."

"So besides teaching me manners," Tanner asked, "Danielle what do you like to do?"

"I like to be active and creative," Danielle said, "I learned to dance from my mother, I like that."

"Oh nice, Jill did ballet," Tanner said.

"Yeah," she said, "could you show me I love learning new dances."

"Yes, I can, " Danielle said, "would you show me your baking."

"Can I watch," Tanner asked.

"Uh no," she said, "you are not getting to make fun of me all pregnant in a leotard."

"Plus, I've never danced for a man," Danielle said.

The car pulled into the Afar Kingdom Parking lot.

"Ah well," Tanner said, "I'd love to see a traditional dance but I understand."

They got out and reserved a table for four, as Paul had yet to arrive.

Chapter 14 Paul Now:

Paul parked in the lot at Afar Kingdom near Tanners car. Before heading inside the sweet-sour heat of an active kitchen wafted over him. He entered through woven wood adorned doors then asked if there was a Welles or Greyhouse already seated at the front of house.

The hostess asked, "Is yours the party of four for Greyhouse?"

"Well... probably," He said.

The front of house led him back to the table, Who is here with them. I need to talk about Xander and Oliver but they better not be here.

The dining room bustled entering the dinner rush. Jill and Tanner sat with a tall, strong, but elegantly built hyena.

He moved to take the seat next to Tanner across from Jill and the stranger but Jill heaved herself up onto the swollen ankles she frequently complained to him about to get a hug.

"Paul, I've missed you," Jill said beaming up at him.

"I missed you too," he said, smelling the Ivy and Nutmeg of home, "I hope the flight was good and who is your friend here?"

"We re-met on the plane," Jill said, "Paul this is Danielle, Danielle Paul, she is a total sweet heart I'm going to teach her some baking and she is going to teach me a new dancing style," she squeezed his paws nodding toward Danielle.

"Oh... so you are a dancer," He asked.

"A pleasure to meet you," Danielle said eyes fixed through the table at her paws in her lap, "Ms Jill has been very kind, so I will show some dances my mom taught me. I'm sorry to impose on you."

He got Jill's non-verbal then and knew he wouldn't get to talk freely for a while, "It's no imposition at all, what type of dance do you do?"

"Well," Danielle said, "the Sha'abi, the Baladi, and more provocative ones, my family is from Egypt, thankfully Jill got me a cover I could not dance without it."

"Oh, so like belly dancing," He asked.

Tanner laughed as Danielle squirmed.

"Tanner why are you laughing," Jill asked.

"Pregnant belly dancing," Tanner said, "I like my baby shaken not stirred."

Danielle relaxed.

"Tanner you're such a child," Jill said, "So Paul, why is there the change in plans?"

He couldn't explain with a guest, "Uhm... Oliver's guest room won't work now so you can have my room I'll just sleep on the couch."

"For a week," Tanner asked, "Paul you can't be on the couch that long."

"I'll be there," He said, "as long as it takes to get the mess fixed up," he glared at Tanner, I don't need to explain myself drop it dude.

Tanner backed off in the silence that followed.

"So," Jill said clearing her throat, "Danielle what did you think of Seattle so far?"

Danielle sat up straighter then said, "I have only seen this restaurant, the airport and the shelter."

Jill gave him a don't ask nose twitch when he perked his ears.

"The airport was busy," Danielle said, "and this restaurant seems nice. The shelter was nice but no one else there was like me."

The waiter came to the table before Danielle could continue, he ordered a family style platter for Jill and himself. He checked his phone while Tanner talked to the waiter.

Oliver muzzlebook messaged, "I washed the sheets and everything is cleaned just in case you want it. I'm sorry, I didn't want to make Xander cheat, I wanted to try all of us together."

He wrote back, "But you did make him cheat, and what did you expect that I'd jump for the chance to be with you after you turned me down again and again, I'm not on Prep. You have a habit of thinking you can make decisions for me like you know better."

He wanted to keep venting on Oliver but he was in public and everyone would smell it.

"Oh," Jill said, "don't be alone at the shelter, you can stay with me."

"For the whole week," he asked loudly. Getting angry dark violate eyes from Jill, "Err, I mean yeah, of course you can stay the week. Jill will get all bored when I go to work."

"Only if it weren't to be an inconvenience," Danielle said not making eye contact.

Jill trapped him with her eyes, he said, "Yeah, it's no trouble at all, as long as you two can share a room."

His phone buzzed so he excused himself from the table, because he didn't want to be rude smelling pissed off in public.

He stepped outside to the parking lot reading Oliver's message, "No, I don't know better, and I wasn't making that kind of decision for you. I was making a decision for Sean, and myself. Sean needed to get over baggage and it seemed like the thing to do at the time."

He wrote, "That is making a decision for me, and at this point I don't even know if I can call you a friend. Friends don't do this kind of shit to each other."

Oliver wrote right back, "Then why were you always flirting like this kinda thing didn't matter to you."

"Flirting is just a game," he wrote pacing the sidewalk between the door and the lot, "this is the real thing, I'm about to be a father."

The message marked read, Oliver wasn't writing back so he took deep calming breaths before heading back inside.

At the door, his phone rang.

"Why are you calling," he said fits clenching claws stinging.

Oliver's bari-base rumbled then said, "We should be talking in person not texting, so this will have to do."

"Great, I'm at dinner with Jill," He said.

"When will I see," Oliver said, "you we need to talk."

"See there you go again," He said, "telling me things I have to do."

"Fine sorry," Oliver said, "damnit when can we talk, I don't want to leave things like this and I doubt you do either."

"Oliver, I don't get you," He said, "now all of a sudden calling and talking to me is important, it sure wasn't when you seduced my boyfriend."

"I told you I'm sorry," Oliver said.

"You're sorry," He said louder, "I'm about to be a dad, and you fuck the first guy that wants to be a dad as much as I do."

Oliver sighed then said, "You've only been together a little while man and known each other a couple months."

"Well, fuck you Oliver," He said vision tunneling and his hair standing, "now I get to see your true stripes."

"No, you're a great guy," Oliver said, "Paul, you had pretty high hopes."

"Is this why you called," He yelled, "to let me know that you think I am setting myself up to get hurt by someone, cause fucking look in a mirror you're the one hurting me you barbed dicked fucking piece of shit."

"No, your hopes for Xander are too high man but you have a place here, with me first and maybe with Xander," Oliver said, "and Sean too. I want to be here for you."

"Be here for me," he yelled, "you want to be here for me as what? The asshole that's undermining me."

"I wasn't trying to undermine you," Oliver said.

"No, you were fucking succeeding," He yelled, "I need a normal family for my child and I don't think that's going to be with you guys in my life."

"A normal family," Oliver asked, "Your gay and having a kid with your single straight best friend who always wanted you to be straight too, how is any of that normal."

"Logical as ever," He said, "Oliver... Fuck you, don't call me, we are done," then ended the call. His phones screen fogged as he huffed, blood pounding in his ears. Oliver tried calling him back. He declined the call then blocked Oliver's number.

He texted Xander, "Our goals don't seem to line up, I'm done," then blocked his number as well. He took several long and deep breaths trying not to cry.

With one more deep breath he headed back into the dining room and their table. Everyone was very quiet when he came in, it smelled sour, tart, and bitter not from the food, and eyes covertly followed him to the table where their food was set. Ice prickled down his spine. Jill was no longer seated and Danielle sat like a wide-eyed statue.

He sat down and nudged Tanner, "Is everything ok."

Tanner whispered, "The windows are open."

He burned with shame the trickled down his cheeks through is fur, holding back the growing knot in his throat.

Chapter 15 Xander Now:

While Sean researched, the background based on the information Amy and Vivian sent over. Oliver messaged from his tablet at the kitchen table. Xander sat on the couch.

He wrote Jill, "I have a feeling that we won't meet, I really screwed up."

"Paul has been weird," She wrote, "I have a girl I'm trying to help at dinner with us, but I'm sure we will."

He wrote, "I made myself a promise and I'll keep it even if I screwed things up. One hybrid to another, the children thing is tough you should meet my mom, I mean she had a hard time having pups and it's something you probably already know about, but she's been there."

She wrote, "Yeah, I'd be glad to meet her, I'm planning on visiting the Arboretum with Paul's mom and my parents, I'll send her an invite. Is she on muzzlebook?"

"Sweet that should work for reaching her, can we talk on the phone texting is weird for this."

"We just got to the restaurant not the best time I'll message you when I have a chance."

"Ok talk to you soon," he wrote and locked his phone, then asked, "Sean what do you think of the stuff Amy sent?"

"Swenson's background doesn't seem inconsistent," Sean said, "except this gap in his activism from the late eighties, then it gets way more active and he opens the camp."

"Yeah," He said, "I wanted to figure out about the people he worked with particularly before that gap because he only associates with wolves after the gap."

Sean sat for a moment, "Something must have happened, after I was raped and the camp I changed. Looks like he did too."

"Yeah, I know," He said, he rubbed his tail, "I was there. Sean, would it bother you if I talked to Jill about everything that happened to you?"

"I don't know, I guess not," Sean said, "I know mom knows but I don't know if dad does."

He shifted on the couch, "You won't know unless you talk about it, Sean you know I'm a hybrid right?"

"Yeah dude," Sean said, "you seem to be growing that mane out, what's your point?"

"Did you get allergy shots because you were allergic to me," he asked.

"No," Sean said, "you never really triggered my cat allergy... I mean, you're what a sixteenth lion."

"Something like that," he said, imagining an empty field so he wouldn't scent, then his phone buzzed with a message, "were you ever afraid?"

"No, I love you dog," Sean said, then nudged his shoulder, "It's Jill maybe we can figure something out."

"Yeah, maybe but," he said, "I keep screwing up explaining things."

"You'll be fine dude," Sean said then went back to reading on his phone.

Jill wrote, "Ok, Paul just stepped outside I can probably sneak a call in."

He sent her his number and waited moments later his phone buzzed.

"Hello Jill, Xander," he said, "nice to finally do more than Muzzlebook stalk you," he got a chuckle from Sean then elbowed him.

"Yeah," Jill said, "I have been stalking you two, you have a big family for a hybrid mom."

"So," he said scratching the back of his head, "why are most of your photos private, wait that's not important, they wanted to try and have as many as they could before her immune system started responding aggressively."

"She still had four more," Jill said.

Barely, He said, "After sudden infant death from a birth defect of the throat, and another issue, but that's a different topic."

"Yeah, what happened," Jill asked.

"I kinda cheated," He said.

"Oh," Jill said, silent for a moment, "I thought you meant the other issue for your mom having kits-err pups... So why did you cheat and what do you mean by kinda?"

"It was with Oliver," he said, "err, and my best friend and I should have called Paul first."

"When did it happen," Jill asked, "he seemed fine before my flight."

"It happened today," he said.

"Well that explains the distractedness," she said, "you still haven't said why you played with someone else, do you and your bestie have a friends-with-benefits thing?"

He crossed his arms, "No it was the first time we ever did anything."

Flushing, he tried to get up but Sean hugged him keeping him on the couch. Oliver paced the hall talking on his phone.

Then he continued, "I have wanted that since I was fifteen, Sean was supposed to be my first but things got in the way, and then Sean did something that scared me and suddenly Oliver was making it an option."

"Well... yeah," she said, "I know what that's like, so I can't completely fault you there, If I got the chance... never mind, how did he scare you?"

"Today has been a weird day," he said, "Sean nearly committed suicide and then I cheated."

The phone quieted.

Oliver's volume was growing in the background.

"Jill, did I lose you," He asked.

"Does he know," She finally asked.

"No," he said, "I don't want to make excuses and It's my fault, does it really make a difference?"

"Yes, it does," she said, "and yes it would, for Paul."

"It shouldn't," he said, "I screwed up and it's not fair to him."

Oliver's controlled voice echoed in the hall.

"Xander," Jill said, "do you love your best friend."

"I do, but he's with Oliver."

"Do you care for Paul?"

"Obviously not, I cheated-"

"You're explaining away feelings," Jill said, "you know, based on your actions, I asked, do you like him, could you love him."

"Yes," he said, Alpha, Sean I can tell you're listening in, he took a deep breath, "I hate that I hurt him, and I love Sean too, I don't know what to do."

"Don't be like that," Oliver said loudly, "I'm sorry, I was just being honest... Paul... are you there... what the hell he hung up on me."

"See that's all that really matters," Jill said, "love make someone family, and you can always forgive family. He told me he's falling for you so I wouldn't worry-"

"He just texted," He said, "we are over and I'm not to talk to him anymore."

"What... really, just now," She asked.

"What the hell," Oliver yelled from the hall, "he blocked my number."

"Yeah," he said, "Oliver said he blocked his number and my texts are now listed as undeliverable."

"That's not like him," Jill said, "I-I'll talk to you in a while, this isn't like him at all," then ended the call.

He sat for a second, then Sean squeezed him and said, "So you didn't screw it up this time."

Oliver drifted back to the couch.

"Oliver, are you ok," Sean asked.

Oliver didn't respond.

"Xander, can you get him some water," Sean asked.

"Sure, Hey Oliver, what happened," He asked heading to the kitchen.

"I think I insulted him," Oliver said massaging his forehead, "his goals for a family."

"So not your most sensitive approach," Sean said, "but the call with Jill went much better, right Xander?"

"Yeah, he blocked me too," he said coming back with the water.

"Doesn't make me feel any better," Oliver said, "but thanks."

"Sorry," he said, "I think Jill didn't instantly hate me after I told her."

"She doesn't hate anyone," Oliver said, "doesn't seem to know how."

"So," he said sitting back down next to Sean, "if she ends up disliking me I'm totally worthless... noted."

"So we have soup," Sean said, "All the ones Paul made."

"I'm not hungry," Oliver said.

"Xander are you hungry," Sean asked.

"I was before that call," He said, "but now, I don't know, I'll just warm up the soup," then added, "how much do you think we hurt him."

"I don't know," Oliver said, "I don't want to know."

"What are you looking for," Sean asked.

"A throw pillow," Oliver said.

"You're out of those," Sean said then pulled them both into him, "how about a hug."

"My family keeps rejecting me," Oliver said.

"I think ours all have," Sean said, "except Xander's"

"No," he said, "I did the rejecting but they got over it."

"What do you mean," Sean asked.

"Oh nothing," he said switching on Oliver's TV, "let's just watch something."

Chapter 16 Oliver:

Oliver's arm stretched along the back rest across Sean's back and resting on Xander's shoulder. Sean put on a Ted Talks on motivating a populace. Xander continued staring at his computer screen. Paul disfellowshipped you, do I think I know better than him.

Sean video said, "Why is it that Martin Luther King led the Prey Rights Movement? He wasn't the only man who suffered in pre-Prey rights America."

_Yeah why do some people get accepted and others rejected,_he got on his tablet and Muzzlebook. Kyle his brother-in-laws page remained the only thing he hadn't been blocked from to see his family.

Kyle digitized many family photos, he searched for any of his uncle, saving everything he opened.

"People don't buy what you do," Sean's video said, "they buy why you do it."

We cheated, we hurt Paul, but why, he doesn't seem to care about why... why did my dad hate my FIV more than me being gay?

He scrolled further finally finding one with Uncle Isaac. Dad stood to the left of Aunt Angela with uncle Isaac in graduation robes. They all came from the same litter having the same narrow stripping as his but all with redder fur than he did.

"What filter were you using there," Sean asked, "Looks so vintage."

"That my dad and his litter," He said squirming a little, he gestured, "I don't look that much like my dad."

"Oh," Sean said, "I thought that other one was you. You guys are like twins."

"That's uncle Isaac," he said, "I only have one memory of him, dad was pissed at him for coming to a family picnic I think or was it a memorial."

"How old were you," Sean asked.

"Five no it was the summer," he said, "still four, I can't remember much."

Sean licked his cheek, then battled with a hair stuck to his tongue.

"Thanks for being here," he said squeezing Xander's shoulder and rubbing Sean's chest.

"What," Xander asked looking up.

"I'm glad I'm here too," Sean said.

"Better stay that way," Xander said then went back to reading.

"Do you like the Ted Talks," Sean asked rewinding a bit.

"I heard a few bits," He said, "Mostly been getting family photos saved before I can't get them again, plus I want to see if I can find my uncle. He was disfellowshipped too."

"I'm here for you," Sean said.

"I know, I want to fix things," he said, "With Paul, and my family, but I don't know if I'll get the chance... My uncle was cast away and I thought about finding him before, now I should just do it."

"Well let me know if I can help," Sean said, "I'm going to finish this then call mom."

"That's going to be fun," Xander said, "Please don't get momma to come track you down again."

"I liked her," he said.

"Of course you did," Sean and Xander said together.

He harrumphed then said, "Go back to what you were doing."

"Yes, momma miller," Xander said.

Sean jabbed Xander.

"Jeeze just kitting," Xander said, "Anyway I'm getting hungry, do you two want to get food?"

"We have the soups," Sean said getting up, "Wait where are those pizza's I ordered, Xander what if I gave them our address?"

"Yeah can you heat me up a bowl," He asked as Xander and Sean headed to the kitchen.

He swooped to grab Xander's phone when it nearly fell off the couch, it displayed an older grey wolf, This guy looks familiar.

I bounced on the cars cream-cloth bench seat, poking Victoria, as the brown hills began greening with pines and furs drifted along the windows. The muggy heat and boredom left me wishing to run.

"Mom, Oliver won't stop touching me," Victoria yelled.

"Oliver honey, paws to yourself," Mommy said.

"She started it," I said.

"Nuh-uh, you did," Victoria said fur standing, "you always start it."

"Amber we're planning differently," daddy said turning the car as he slowed on a gravel road dust billowing out behind us, "we should have gotten a sitter."

"No, they need to learn," mommy said, "it will just keep happening."

"Mommy, Why warm clothes," Victoria asked, "is summer."

"It's traditional," mommy said, "stop pulling at your hem you'll stretch the fabric, Ryan, can the next car please have Air conditioning?"

"Yes dear," daddy said, "now where to park?"

"I assume at the building on the right," mommy said.

We reached a flat park with many walkways and trees evenly distributed. We parked near a big marble building. The gravel crunched under the tires, mommy opened the door so Victoria and I ran to a nearby shady rose arbor.

"Kids stay where mommy can see you," mommy said, "I guess we got here first."

I jumped up onto a short marble wall arms stretched out, "zshooooom, Victoria I'm a plane."

She bowed, "I'm an angel and I'm saving this ant hill."

"That's ok mommy doesn't like dirt," I said running zigzags through the squared hedges gravel crunching.

"Oliver, look its Uncle Isaac," Victoria said running out into the field on the other side of the hedge.

"stay insight, mom said," I yelled hopping down from the wall.

"but uncle Isaac," Victoria said skipping from marble skipping block in the grass to skipping block.

"Ok... I'll race you," I said taking off.

"No fair," she yelled running after me.

I quickly over heated in the dress cloths mommy made me wear, but I still reached Uncle Isaac first.

"Hey little man," he said, "I'm glad to see you," he smelt sour and his fur was patchy and his amber eyes dim, "and you my lady."

I gave him a big hug, despite the smell. A gray wolf stood in the shade of a nearby tree and a blue car parked off on one of the paths behind him.

"You missed our birthday," Victoria wined.

"I know, I'm sorry," Uncle Isaac said wobbling down, "A hug is the best I can do. Plus you know your mommy and daddy don't like birthdays."

"Oh... but you always do," Victoria said giving him a hug, "and thank you, where you been."

Cricket chirped while dragonflies hummed, under the beating sun.

"I had to go to California," Uncle Isaac said, "to see a doctor. So, where is mommy and daddy?"

I pointed to the parking lot.

Mommy ran over, "Isaac you shouldn't be here. Oliver, Victoria come here paws out."

"Why mommy," Victoria asked.

"Because of germs honey," Mommy said wiping our paws with an alcohol wipe, "claws out... did you have your claws out when hugging Uncle Isaac?"

"No mommy, you said that's rude," I said, Uncle Isaac looked sad.

"That's right honey now go play," Mommy said, "Isaac, how dare you, you shouldn't be here."

"She's my grandma too," he said, Victoria dance from jumping stone to jumping stone.

Daddy headed over.

"Why are you angry, mommy," I asked.

"I'm not, go play," she said hackles raised standing between me and uncle Isaac, "you should leave."

"Why is uncle Isaac sad," I asked.

"He isn't go play," she said.

"I am," he said.

"What are you doing here," Daddy yelled storming up nose to nose with uncle Isaac.

The gray wolf pushed off the tree, "Calm down."

"I'm here for grandma," Uncle Isaac said.

"She's not yours anymore," Daddy growled. Mommy pulled Victoria and me back several paces.

"Mommy, make them stop," Victoria squealed.

"We are still blood," uncle Isaac said paws clenched.

"That bond is broken," daddy growled paws open with claws out.

"I left I'm not shunned or disfellowshipped," Uncle Isaac said pleading in his voice.

"You need to leave," Daddy said.

Uncle Isaac moved closer, "Let's just be brothers again just for the day," He tried to hug daddy.

Daddy pushed Uncle Isaac to the ground, "Get off me, you're disgusting."

"Hey man, calm down," the Gray wolf said lunging between daddy and uncle Isaac.

"Stay out of this," Daddy said trying to shove passed the wolf claws raking across his throat.

"Mommy," Victoria yell starting to cry.

"Honey stop," mommy yelled.

Daddy looked in shock at his bloody claws, "I'm... I'm sorry."

Isaac scrambled up, shaking his head as he led the coughing wolf to the blue car.

Chapter 17 Jill Now:

Jill invited Xander's mom with everyone else to the park, then pocketed her phone after ending the call with Xander, I'm not going to put up with another Timmy episode.

She walked back to the table through a changed dining room. Several tables were having overtly loud yet banal conversations. Paul was wiping his face with his cloth napkin.

Tanner and Danielle sat stiff in their seats.

"Danielle, do you like the food," She asked sitting down.

"I've only tried a few bites," Danielle said glancing around, "it is pleasant."

"So, Paul," Tanner said, "are you already for the baby shower?"

"Yeah," Paul said sniffling, "I'm ready now I got rid of somethings that were in the way."

"It's good to have everything organized," she said, "When does your mom get to town, I was thinking of going to the arboretum with everyone when you are at work."

"That's a great choice," Tanner said, "the fall colors will be nice."

"I invited Xander's mom," She said taking a bite, "it will be nice to get to know your guy's family."

Paul clenched his jaw then said, "We haven't been dating that long there's no point."

"Well," She said, "the invitation is out there on Muzzlebook," then added, "Danielle you've never been, it's not as big as Washington park but they have some beautiful trees, would you like to go?"

"I would love to see the park," Danielle said.

She wrapped some of the spiced lentils, peas and potatoes in the injera bread then took a savory sour bite, then said, "Great, Paul you never answered when your moms heading up?"

Paul shifted a visible shiver ran down his fur, "She said she was driving up with your mom and dad. Seriously you didn't need to invite Mrs. O'Connell."

"Why not," She said, "we just started chatting about being hybrid mothers on Muzzlebook."

"Because Xander and I had a fight," Paul said wrapping some of the Tofu and carrots.

"I'm sorry," she said, "thankfully you didn't fight with his mom so it's all good. So, Tanner Danielle wants to learn to swim do you know of any classes that are all female, or if there are Paradosi classes somewhere?"

"Swimming is awesome Danielle you'll love it," Tanner said, "I don't know of a Paradosi class but one of the cultural centers might."

"Oh... Jill," Danielle said, "that is the quickest way I could be recognized."

"Recognized, what do you mean," Paul asked.

"Oh right, I didn't think of that," She said, "Maybe Tanner could give you a lesson then."

"I could Jill," Tanner said, "but you taught longer than I did."

"I don't teach anymore," she said, "plus I'm pregnant."

"What do you mean recognized," Paul asked.

"I am leaving home," Danielle said, "my family has a tradition I will not participate in."

"They wouldn't support her choice," She said, "you know what that's like Paul, being told who you're supposed to be. Tanner can you turn the plate for me, I can't reach the tofu."

Tanner said, "I guess I could see if I can reserve the training pool for a private lesson, would you be comfortable with that?"

"I sorta I understand," Paul said, "Timmy went through that not me, are you even considering the risk here."

"I might be able too," Danielle said, "I mean it would be great to learn and if I can't be with my community I would just need the proper dress I suppose."

"People you care about," She said, "they're worth the risk Paul."

"I'll look into it," Tanner said.

"But if you hardly know them," Paul said, "its unnecessary suffering."

She sipped her water then cough softly, "Then you're just denying yourself a future true friend."

"It wouldn't be one on one," Danielle asked, "Jill could be there right?"

"Sometimes you can't forgive," Paul said, "Neither, family nor friends."

"You know that's a lie," she said, setting her cup down hard, "You can always forgive family and friends."

"Yeah, I'm sure Jill can be there," Tanner said, "So do you want a dessert?"

"Even when I," Paul said, "What if I kept things from you and lie."

"Did he do that maliciously," She asked, Paul smelt confused then his eyes refocused, "did he want to hurt you."

"I don't think it is traditional," Danielle said, "but the custard looks good."

"Everyone hurts you," Paul said, "you have to pick the people that won't."

"Or learn to forgive them," she said, "despite the fact that they hurt you."

"Sweet, let's get the mango custard," Tanner said glancing between her and Paul.

"Anyway you don't know everything happening," Paul said then made another wrap, "Forgive them, do you know what they did?"

"Does it matter, forgiveness is forgiveness," she pleaded, "I don't know why it's so hard for you, I miss the Clarks, am I going to lose Oliver too."

"I knew it," Paul snapped, "it's just like you to bring up Timmy to get me to do what you want."

She wrapped the chair leg with her tail, then said, "I thought you were going to reconcile with the Clarks when you moved up here, but you haven't even talked to them have you, they don't even know you lived here do they."

"Wait," Paul asked, "how did we get to the Clarks, you're changing the subject."

"Am I, I'm noticing a pattern," Jill said, "you don't forgive. Your mom, Timmy, the Clarks and who knows what that is, now Oliver, and Xander. What's next... me, our baby someday."

"Jill it's complicated," Paul said, "and things are fine with mom."

"Yeah, now," she said, "You and Oliver have been friends for years. He's my friend too."

"Oh," Paul asked, "so you get to choose who my friends are, great why can't I choose who I want in my life?"

"No," She said, "I don't get to choose who your friends are. But you don't get to choose who my friends aren't. You've made it so hard to be friends with people that you're pissed at."

"Hey guys," Tanner said, "Maybe we should pay the bill and leave."

Paul pushed his plate away then said, "Jill, I can't believe your making this about you, it's like you don't get what I'm going through at all."

"Get it... Paul, I lived it," She said, "you moved away when Max and I got together. Then he left me when it looked like we'd need a donor. And now your back but you can never love me the way I want you too, my closest friends keep leaving me, you, Timmy, Max, it's not a huge list but I don't want it to keep being like this Paul."

Paul squeezed his cup till it shook, then said, "I'm sorry I can't make you happy."

She rhythmically tapped her glass, "You do but-"

Their waiter came up to the table, "evening everyone, how is everything, anything else I can do for you?"

"It's great," Tanner said, "the pretty lady and I would each like a custard, can I have the mango?"

"If I may," Danielle said, "the strawberry would be nice, Jill will you have one."

"I'll try the custard," she said, "wait is the milk pasteurized if not I'll have the bread pudding."

"And you sir," the waiter asked Paul.

"I want a cosmo," Paul said.

The waiter said, "Sadly, we are without a liquor license, however we can serve glasses of wine and beer."

"Paul, you drove," She said.

"It's just one beer," Paul said.

"Fine," She said, "but if you make me a single mom, I'll asked the Mother Goddess to bind your soul to a rock, and I'll throw you in the lake."

"Would be scary," Paul said, "but I know you'd never do that, and I don't know if anyone has a soul. I'll have the amber."

"So, that was different," Tanner said, "you two were being way to serious, lighten up Jill you should be happy you're so close to popping."

"Thanks, your imagination is always appreciated," she said, "Paul's the one being too serious."

"I am not," Paul said, "I got cheated on."

"That is a shame," Danielle said, "but I feel not uncommon in America."

"Please Paul," Tanner said, "you always talk about wanting to have three-ways, you're just pissed you didn't get to be there."

Danielle's light brown eyes widened.

"That's just joking around," Paul said, "well mostly I never thought he'd think that was something I actually wanted, particularly now that I'm going to be a father."

"Does he know that," She said then sipped her water, "you told me you were waiting for the right time to tell him we were having a kit."

"Yeah... no," Paul said, "I don't remember, does that matter?"

Danielle knitted her eye brows, "Jill is asking if this Xander understood the commitment you are looking for, right Jill?"

"Yeah," She said, "did he know what you wanted, because it sounds like you talked about fun sex, then he tried it and wished you were there."

Paul groaned, "I can't be having random fun sex anymore, that's not normal."

"Dude that's a problem," Tanner said, "If fun sex isn't normal for you dude, you're doing it wrong."

Danielle dropped her ears and looked around the dining room.

"This isn't normal, is it Jill," Danielle asked softly.

"They are gay," She said, "it's a more adventurous group... and no, it's still a bit weird."

"Hey, I'm bi not gay," Tanner said, "And we need to talk about sex, everyone's too nervous about it, that's why no one ever knows how to ask for what they want."

"But wanting something," Paul said, then exhaled, "and it being right for a family are not the same thing."

Then the desserts and drink arrived. The waiter passed Paul his drink, then Tanner and Danielle their Custards, "Ma'am our cook doesn't recommend the custard for expectant mother's despite in house boiling, so I have that bread pudding for you on the house."

"Oh, thank you," She said, then added to her belly, "Peanut this random diet you have me on wasn't in the terms and conditions... Paul, we aren't married you're gay and I'm straight, we will see other people. And is there such a thing as normal parents or a childhood anyway?"

"Wait Jill," Paul asked, "how did you know he wished I was there?"

"What do you mean," She said then gulped some water.

"You talked to him," Paul said, "Prime you can be so manipulative."

"He was messaging," She said, "all mopey so we talked on the phone while you were raging on Oliver."

"I see," Paul said sipping his drink, then sighed, "I'd be annoyed but I'm too tired,"

"Good," She said, "I didn't want to pull the I'm having your baby trump card, oh my, the Injera bread works great in this pudding."

"So not to drudge things up," Tanner said, "but who are the Clarks?"

"They are... were close family friends," she said giving Paul the evil eye, "their son was our best friend growing up, he even dated Paul for a while."

"Xander's socially awkward like Timmy," Paul said wistfully, "I think that's why I like him so much."

"You still haven't explained," she said reaching for his paw, "why you don't talk to the Clarks, I mean if it's about them and Timmy, I think it's time to forgive already."

"Maybe," Paul said softly into his drink, "but maybe it's not them that need to be forgiven."

"Grace is in all cultures," Danielle said, "you could speak to them, I need my family's forgiveness but I will not seek it till I'm eighteen and have a job."

"Wait Jill," Paul said sitting up, "you're taking in a runaway?"

"She was at the shelter," she said, "we are just getting a meal."

"I mean no inconvenience," Danielle said, "I don't know anyone here, Jill is a wonderful person I am thankful to have met her again on the plane."

"Thank you," she said, "you're a sweet heart and no trouble at all... See Paul someone knows how to appreciate me."

"I do appreciate you, in doses," Paul said, "But what if her family thinks you kitnapped her."

"Honestly," she said, "that thought never crossed my mind, but it's irrelevant anyway I'm not... Danielle do you feel threatened by this," then patted her round belly.

Danielle giggled, "no, but Tanner seems to be."

"What why wouldn't I be," Tanner said, "She has a person in her, the whole big growing thing up there."

"Tanner puns and innuendo aside," she said, "what is it about pregnancy that freaks you out so much."

Paul choked just getting Tanners meaning.

Tanner pulled up one leg to sit on then said, "I just don't want to be a dad yet it freaks me out, it would mean being tied to that person, or that gender as my partner and I just don't want to be stuck so mono directional."

"Even if you love someone," Danielle asked.

"I don't know," Tanner said, "I don't want to limit myself."

"For love," Paul said, "it can be worth it."

"Or if you find someone," she said placing her paw back on Paul's, "you know, who loves you enough to give you all they can, you give what you can back."

"It's just not normal," Paul said.

"You're right," She said, "but it's sad that selfless unselfish love isn't normal, are you feeling better Paul."

"I guess," Paul said, "Danielle sorry I've been all drama."

"This isn't normal," Danielle asked, "You and Tanner are the first I have met."

"The first what," Paul asked

"Of your community."

"Shit," Tanner said pinching the bridge of his muzzle.

"Well, what do you think," Paul asked.

"You aren't that wicked," Danielle said, "much more people than I assumed and more caring than I expected."

"Well listen to that," Tanner said, "that's the most amazing endorsement Paul and I have ever had, don't you think Jill?"

She said, "I'm pretty sure that's the only endorsement you and Paul have ever had as ambassadors of the gay community," then asked, "Danielle, it's almost seven when did we need to get you back?

"Soon I think," Danielle said, "but how will it work to go to this park you mentioned, I don't have a cellphone. The shelter lets you dial to get in. But once you leave I can't reach you."

"The cell phone," she said, "I forgot about that detail, and it would be hard to coordinate the swimming too, did you want to head back now?"

"It might be best," Danielle said.

"Tanner, I'll give them a ride," Paul said, "then we'll see you at home."

They settled the checks and headed to the cars.

Tanner sent Paul the directions while the ladies stood talking.

"Danielle, so you didn't know," she asked, "that your family did this till your sister told you?"

"No," Danielle said, "it's not something we ever talked about, my sister wasn't going to do anything but her husband decided that they must."

"Do you have his number," she asked, "would it be safe to call either of them so they know you are safe?"

"I am not certain," Danielle said, "I could try a call on the drive if I can borrow your phone again."

"Oh, sure here you are," she said then got in the Mini.

Danielle followed her in to the car, then dialed from a number on paper.

Paul got in after them, "ok are we all set."

"Yeah," she said, "so Danielle's calling her brother in law."

"Hello Akhom, its Danielle... of course you know me Akhom its Danika... I thought Asha said the name was your idea, I am sorry."

Paul started the car and headed toward the women's shelter.

"I'm calling to let you and Asha know I made it safely."

Paul reached a paw and rubbed her pregnant belly.

"What do you mean," Danielle asked, "they know where I am... oh ok thank you this is the number to contact me... love you too Akhom please give Asha my love as well."

"So, that didn't sound good," Paul said into the silent car.

Danielle said, "When I didn't come home from school for many hours my mom tracked my backpack, I used to lose my backpack often so she got me one of those GPS cards."

"Ah you're Jill's twin," Paul said, "so, they know you are at the shelter then?"

"Thank you for your help Jill," Danielle said.

"I'm not done helping," she said, "they know where your bag is, you're staying with me and Paul you can call the shelter tomorrow, maybe we can talk to a lawyer or something."

"Jill," Paul said, "that's getting a lot closer to kitnapping."

"No," she said, "it's helping a lost girl in destress."

"Really," Danielle said, "you would do this for me."

"In a heartbeat, we can get you a temporary phone and you could call them from a coffee shop or something."

"This is a horrible idea," Paul said, "Jill she's a runaway it's not our place."

"You don't know what she's running from."

"Does it matter," Paul asked.

She said, "They are taking away her ability to be a complete woman."

"Like a mastectomy," Paul asked, "Is that cancer, I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean?"

"I can still be a mother," Danielle said, "but I couldn't enjoy things very well... but it's not like I know what that's like so it could be no loss."

"Like I said I don't understand," Paul said.

"For a man, it is circumcision," Danielle said, "right Jill?"

"For women, it's called castration," She said, "And not nothing to do with cancer."

Paul said, "Wait they want to circumcise a girl how does that even work. Gross lady parts, I don't want to know."

She was interrupted by Paul jabbering more the second she opened her mouth.

"If it's like a guy," Paul said, "it can't be that bad, I've known some sheathless guys, but why would they do that... what are they doing?"

"I think he's in shock," she said to Danielle, "he's probably still imagining lady parts, Paul they cut off the clitoris."

"This is why," Danielle said, "I think my culture has it right many things are best not discussed."

"Paul," she said, "are you going to make Danielle go to the shelter tonight?"

"This isn't our problem," Paul said.

She said, "What if we were having a daughter?"

Chapter 18 Jill Then:

Jill sat with the wrapping paper, tape and the shoe box with her present inside.

"you need any help sweet pea," Daddy asked from the kitchen table.

"No, I'm a big girl," she said trying to fold the paper, "I go to school now, stop crinkling paper, bad."

"You sure you're ok," Daddy asked.

"Yes, I can do it," She said, "Paul will like it."

"I'm sure he'll love it," Daddy said, "it's exactly what he would want for his birthday, right?"

"He wants to meet his daddy," She said, "that's why I got him the camera and frame, he can get a picture before his daddy goes away again."

Daddy's newspaper rustled.

"Honey, that's what he told you," Daddy asked coming to sit on the floor with her.

"Yeah," She said, "when we had ice cream Mommy Russo said she would ask him to come," then gave up and wrapping the ends in tape to look like a tootsie roll.

"Honey she didn't promise that," Daddy said, "She couldn't have."

She said, "But that's all that Paul really wants."

Daddy winced.

"It's ok," she said, "toys isn't as good as a mommy and daddy."

"Aren't as good," Daddy said, "honey Paul's daddy won't be there."

"Why not," She asked, "that's the only thing he wants," she got up then hopped to put the present on the kitchen counter.

"Sweet pea," daddy asked, "do you know what war is."

"Yeah," She said coming and laying in his lap, "mom said it's when a lot of people get in a fight with a lot of other people, but Paul said it's how you become a king, and Timmy said it's like King Arthur... who was king Arthur?"

"He was a fabled king of Britain," Daddy said, "honey it is like a big fight but one's people don't get better from... remember that bruise from being pushed in the mud?"

"Yeah, I hate mud puddles," She said.

"Your moms sewing thanks you," Daddy said, "but Sweet Pea, a war is a fight where people get more than hurt, people get killed."

She said, "So, you can't become a king from war."

"Not anymore, but some become heroes," Daddy said, "Paul's Daddy became a Hero but he got killed."

"So, Paul's daddy isn't coming," she asked.

"He can't come," Daddy said, "someone pushed him in the mug and he could never get back up."

"But that's not fair," She said.

"No, it's not," Daddy said, "and that is why I was concerned to hear he is expecting his dad."

"Well, it's ok daddy," she said, "you're a great daddy you be his dad too now."

"You wouldn't get jealous," Daddy said eyes twinkling.

"No, I'm amazing, and generous," she said jumping up, "Daddy, Daddy, did you see mommy got me Toy Story and Pocahontas, let's watch them."

"Not very humble," Daddy muttered then said, "Oh... I'd love to watch them, again, and again... and Again. But we should get to the birthday, Mommy is helping mommy Russo already over at Paul's house."

"Ok," she said from under the counter, "daddy we can watch them after, can you pass me the box."

"Sure, here you go honey," daddy said and they headed out the door.

"Daddy," She said, "Paul doesn't know his daddy was in a war."

"No," Daddy said, "Mommy Russo has wanted to tell him but it was near his birthday."

"Why didn't she tell him before," she asked, the wet soil from the recent rain tickling her nose as they walked.

"She was worried," Daddy said, "that he might be too young or would be really sad, she tries very hard to make sure he is happy."

"Oh, he would be sad," she said.

"Yeah," daddy said, "so for now it is a secret ok honey."

"Catwoman is a master of keeping secrets," She said skipping along.

"Like a ninja," daddy said.

They reached Paul's house, she ran inside following Paul's excited cinnamon to the backyard, she set her present on the table. Said hi to Mommy, and Mommy Russo, waved at the Clarks and ran outside.

Timmy, and several other children from school were having a foam sword battle but all the swords had been taken. But she laughed manicly grabbing a swimming noodle and charged into the fray.

She and Timmy held off the others when Paul tripped on a root.

"Thank you my ladies," Paul said to them.

"You're welcome my king," Timmy said.

"What are we playing," she asked.

"King Arthur," Timmy said, "Paul is Arthur and you're the princess."

"Xenia warrior princess," she said flailing the noodle around, "What are you?"

"I'm the lady in the lake," Timmy said.

"Why aren't you a knight," she asked.

"I want magic," Timmy said.

"Then why aren't you Merlin," Jill asked.

"He's too magical," Paul said.

They fended off another charge

She smacked everyone in the face even Paul and Timmy.

"That's not fair," one of the other team said.

She cackled, "It's never fair when you're facing a warrior princess."

"Everyone the foods ready," Mommy Russo called, "and afterwards there is cake and presents."

Everyone cheered and rushed inside, the table was only big enough for the guess so the parents hovered by the counter.

Jill took the seat across from Paul and Timmy sat opposite the countertop Paul's right. Momma Russo passed about the paper plates and opened two pizza boxes in the middle of the table, Paul grabbed a slice of the sardine pizza, and Mommy Russo passed her one as well, Timmy took a vegi slice.

Mommy Russo asked, Daddy and Mrs. Clark, "it's not weird to have the children say grace, is it?"

"I think it's fine," Daddy said.

Mommy Russo said, "Everyone before we eat we give thanks for the food."

Everyone bowed their heads.

Mommy Russo prayed, "Thank you for this day and that we get to enjoy it together, may it get better and better for everyone here, and please help this food bless our bodies, amen."

After amen everyone got even louder than before.

She ate big bites, but Paul didn't eat much.

Three small bites then he tugged on his mommies Jeans, "Can we do presents I'm ready for my surprise?"

Mommy Russo said, "Presents are after cake and ice cream come on finish your pizza."

Paul grabbed his ears, "You're going to make him wait that long?"

"If by him you mean you," Mommy Russo said, "then yes, eat your dinner Pauliwog, you love pizza."

"I'm too excited," Paul said bouncing.

"Well it is your birthday," Mommy Russo said, "be excited that's good honey, come on you can finish that slice for me right."

"Ok, mommy then presents," Paul said.

"After you blow out the candles," Momma Russo said then she headed to help other guests.

"Jill," Paul said across the table, "did you hear that he's coming."

"I don't think he is," she squeaked.

"What I can't hear you," he asked, "let me finish my pizza then, I can have the cake and he'll be here."

She pushed her plate away, getting up to find mommy or daddy.

Daddy wasn't in the kitchen when she wove her way through the forest of legs and crisscrossed tails.

"Hey little one," Timmy's daddy asked, "do you need something?"

"I can't find mommy or daddy," she said.

"Oh," Timmy's daddy said, "I'm not sure where your daddy went but your mommy is in the living room."

"Thank you," she said and ran off.

"Mommy mommy mommy," she said running up to the chair mommy sat in talking with Timmy's Mommy.

"One second dear," Mommy said.

"It's just dress up," Timmy's mommy said, "there's nothing wrong with that right?"

"I doubt it," Mommy said, "I'm pretty sure Edwin would say it's just a bit of normal development."

"Mommy its important," She said.

"Honey, I said one second," Mommy said.

"Oh, it can wait," Timmy's mommy said, "it sounds like they are getting ready to do the cake, I'll see you afterwards."

"Mommy," She said, "that's what I need to talk to you about."

"Ok honey, what's wrong," Mommy asked.

"You have to stop the cake," she said.

"Stop the cake," Mommy asked, "why would we stop the cake?"

"Paul," she said, "he is going to wish for his daddy to come."

Happy birthday chorused from the other room.

"Why would he wish..." Mommy asked standing up, "she hasn't told him."

She said, "He asked at ice cream for his daddy, and Mommy Russo said he would get his wish at presents."

She followed mommy to the kitchen as Paul blew out the candles. Everyone clapped.

Someone asked, "what did you wished for?"

Someone else said, "Don't say or it won't come true."

Paul asked, "Mommy can I have my surprise now?"

Mommy Russo laughed, "Present focused I see you can have my present now."

He tilted his head at the box she passed him, "No mommy, not this one, I want to see daddy."

The parents all got very quiet.

Timmy fidgeted so his mommy placed her paw on his shoulder.

"Honey your daddy can't come," Mommy Russo said.

"You said I had been good," Paul asked unsure, "so he could come?"

Mommy Russo's wide blue eyes darted around the room, "Honey, no he can't come."

"Why," Paul asked, "he doesn't love me does he?"

"He did, he loved you so much but-"

"I thought his daddy died mommy," Timmy asked.

Paul's widening hurt eyes crawled over everyone's face resting on Mommy Russo's.

He breathed deeper, louder, and faster.

"I'm sorry honey, he can-"

"Liar, you're a liar," He yelled pushing away from the table then ran from the room.

No one spoke.

Someone asked, "Can I have cake now."

Mommy Russo said, "Gloria can you handle things here?"

She left the room.

Mommy stayed to cut cake and everyone slowly calmed down.

She followed quietly to the stairs.

Mommy Russo stood outside Paul's door, "Honey, can I come in."

"Leave me alone," Paul cried.

Mommy Russo said, "I didn't want you to find out like this, honey."

"Go away," Paul screamed through the door.

Daddy came over, "Honey come finish your food."

"Is Paul ok," she asked.

"No, sweet pea," Daddy said, "but he will be, He just wants a daddy."

"But I'm sharing," she said.

"I know," Daddy said eyes bright, "but I don't think he knows that, take your seat and finish your food."

"Daddy you spend time babysitting," She said, "is that when you became his daddy?"

"Honey," Daddy said, "I don't think he sees me as a dad."

"Why, he wants a daddy," she said, "and you're a good daddy, my daddy."

"Sometimes honey," Daddy said, "people aren't happy till they feel it's theirs. See it's like your pizza, if it was my pizza would it be ok to eat it?"

She played with the slice of pizza, "Not unless you gave it to me."

"Eat your food," daddy said, "then we'll go home ok."

She peeled the sardines off the slice then passed the bare pizza to daddy, "Hold this I have another present."

Daddy let her leave the table.

She took the plate of Sardines to the stair case then up them.

"Pauliwog, I won't come in," Mommy Russo said, paw resting on the door at the top of the stairs, "but I love you, I'm sorry honey."

"scuse me, can I go in," She said tugging on Mommy Russo's pant leg.

Mommy Russo stepped back for her, "He doesn't want to see anyone right now, honey."

"Paul, can I come in," She said.

"No, go away," Paul yelled.

"Can you help me," She said, "I can't eat my sardines I'm full and daddy said I have to eat them before I can go home."

Mommy Russo moved out of view into the other room.

Paul opened the door, "Fine I'll help."

"Thanks Paul," she said pushing passed him.

"Need hugs," she asked.

"No, I want my daddy," Paul said.

"You need a daddy," She said, "my daddy is your daddy now."

"You can't give me your daddy," Paul said.

"Ya-huh," she said, "he's mine so he's yours now," then held out her sardines.

He grabbed one from the plate and wiped his eyes.

"See," she said, "now we both have a daddy."

"Are you sure," he asked.

"Yep," she said hopping onto the side of his bed.

"No take backs," Paul said.

"It's a present, silly," she said he sat next to her, her tail wrapping his leg, "you don't take back presents."

"Thank you."

"You want to play house," she said, "I can be the mommy and you can be the daddy?"

"I don't know how," he said, "I can't be a daddy."

"You just hold the baby," She said, "and make dinner when the mommy isn't holding the baby and making dinner."

"Ok."

"Daddy can teach you," she said, "he is good at being daddy," she took his paw and leading him to the play room.

Many of the other children left with their parents.

Timmy still sat at the table with three plates of cake, he held one out to Paul, "You didn't have the first bite."

Paul took the plate.

"I'm sorry," Timmy said, "Hugs?"

Paul took a bite of cake then set the plate on the table.

Timmy jump down from the chair then gave Paul a big hug.

Chapter 19 Paul then:

Paul stood outside Jill's place, hitching his backpack up his shoulders.

He knocked again then took out his key and went inside.

"Jill," he yelled up the stairs, "we are going to be late."

"No no no no," Jill yelled back, "I'm hurrying."

"Hey Paul, are you hungry," Momma Greyhouse asked.

"I'm ok..." he said, "is that fried fish and cheese?"

"Yes," Mama said, "Jill seems to eat more like you every summer."

"What," he said, "fish and cheese what's wrong with that, they're great," then he gave Momma a hug.

"Mom, I can't find my headband," Jill yelled, from the bathroom slamming drawers, "I can't go without my headband."

"See there's time for a snack," Momma said, "Honey you'll live if you don't have your headband."

"Goddess mom," Jill said streaking through the hall to her bedroom, "It's like, you don't even understand mom, I really need it."

Momma pursed her lips, "Are you nervous about the new school year?"

"No," He said, "it can't be that different from last year," then took a plate and sitting down at the table.

"Well," momma said, "the block schedule will be new for you, right?"

"Yeah," He said then dug into the fish, "we get our schedule in homeroom hopefully I have Timmy or Jill in my classes this year."

"I made sure you had some," Momma said, "I talked with someone in the front Office, can't break up the gang."

"Your awesome Momma," He said tail darting back and forth.

"You always say that," Momma said, "but mostly after I feed you."

"Mom," Jill yelled, "I need your- never mind I found it," then Jill came running into the kitchen in a white t-shirt with pink sleeves and khaki capris, tail tip in her left paw, "Oh Paul, uhm, you got groomed, i-it looks great," Jill's eyes dark violat eyes widened, "Mom where's my lunch?"

"In the fridge honey," Momma said.

"Thanks mom," Jill said, "oh no my back pack," Jill ran out of the room.

"You have your lunch right," Momma asked.

"Yeah, I have a tofu sandwich," he said grimacing

"I'll trade you, I love tofu," Jill said running past to the living room.

"Would you be a sweety," Momma asked passing a paper bag from the fridge, "make sure she has her lunch?"

"Mom, I can't find my backpack," Jill yelled.

"Is it with the coats honey," Momma asked.

He took his plate to the sink and rinsed it off.

"Oh, found it," Jill said, "hurry up Paul we are so going to be late."

He rolled his eyes at Momma who chuckled and gave him one more hug.

"Will we see you after school," Momma asked.

"Not sure," He said, "we'll be here, moms or over at Timmy's, Love you got to run."

He followed Jill out the door, she still didn't have her headband.

"Goddess Paul," Jill said running ahead, "we are going to be so late, Hurry up."

"I showed up on time," he said, "how much do you want to bet Timmy is already in homeroom?"

"It's not my fault," Jill said, "you know you need to show up early to make sure I'm on time, so did you get all new clothes too?"

"Not all new," he said, "but I grew a bunch this summer didn't you notice."

"I Uhm, yes you look healthy," Jill said playing with tip of her tail then grimaced.

"What's wrong," he asked as they turned left onto Hyland way.

"Oh nothing... Timmy didn't wait," Jill said.

"Yeah," he said, "but I thought you just noticed you still don't have your headband."

"Goddess Paul... should I go back," Jill asked wringing her tail in her paws.

"No, you look great without it," he said.

"Thanks," she said nudging her shoulder to his triceps.

They walked passed the field their home room was in a south eastern portable.

Runners from a gym class and Soccer passed by on the field and he tickled all over when he looked at an older guy's butt.

"Paul, what are you thinking about," Jill asked.

"Oh," He flushed, "I-I'm not sure, do you think I'm handsome, I mean, I'll never be big like all those guys out there."

"Yeah, Paul you're handsome," She said, "you could be on the soccer team if you want, or you could do life guard training with me."

"That would mess up my paper-route," he said as the first period bell went off, "But it would be fun."

"Well, if not life guarding," Jill said, as they jogged, "would you want to try dance class with me, I think we could have fun?"

"Dance never thought about it," He said, "I'd probably be horrible at it."

"Fine we can be terrible together," Jill said, "Ratwoman and Catman all over again."

"Yeah, let's do it," He said.

"Really," Jill asked, "OMG this will be so great," then they entered homeroom.

Several people they knew waved but Timmy rushed over before they could join anyone's conversations, "Where were you two, I had to lie and say Jill left her backpack."

"Well lost is a better description," he said, "but I got a second breakfast so it worked out."

Jill said, "It's not my fault things like to move around, after I set them down."

"Yeah," Timmy said, "it's those horrible teleporting, whatever you happened to have lost, they are downright evil, come on get your schedules."

They when to Mrs. Blackwell and got the printouts.

Jill read down the sheet, "I got Science, Math and English with Paul."

"Then we all have," He said, "Science together, Timmy and I also have Gym, and History."

"Looks like," Timmy said, "Jill and I have Dance and home economics."

"Paul," Jill said, "if you want to change classes I think you need a form."

"What class are you changing Paul," Timmy asked.

"Jill convinced me to do dance," He said with air quotes.

"I'm glad you're joining us," Timmy said.

"Yeah, it'll be fun," He said, setting his bag on an open seat, "Jill wanted me to do swimming but that would mess up my paper route."

"Well cool," Timmy said, tail flapping, "uhm, if you could come when she gives me lessons I'd like that, I know you're a life guard Jill but water is scary."

"Timmy it's fine," Jill said, plopping down in a seat, "I'm the life guard for the little tikes end of the pool you're too big for me to carry."

"Yeah I can help..." He said, "Timmy your new clothes are so tight on you," a warm tickling washed over him again.

Timmy beamed, "My mom got me a shearing kit-for swimming, getting your own back is hard. Paul, could you make sure its ok before we go to the pool?"

"Ye-Ah," He said voice braking, getting a laugh from Jill, "I can help."

He shot dagger eyes at her.

"Sweet," Timmy said, "Jill is the pool open today, I got a suit and everything?"

"Yeah," Jill said, "let's go home get you ready and bike over, Paul get the class change form, the bell for next periods about to go off."

"Jill your hilarious," he said, "now you get a sense for the time," then he headed to Mrs. Blackwell.

"Mrs. Blackwell," he asked, when he reached her desk, "do you have a class change form I want to switch electives?"

"Oh," She said, "you will need to get it in the main office, I'll write you a hall pass."

He waved the pass at Jill and Timmy, grabbed his bag then headed to the main office.

Half way there the bell went off and the halls filled with students. Two older guys moved through the hall ahead of him, a Lion and Tiger, when he passed into the cloud of their cinnamon scents he tickled all over again. He stopped till they got further ahead so he could breathe normally after a dizzy spell, What's wrong am I getting sick, why am I all sweaty?

Once he reached the main office the secretary pointed him to the counselor's office. The counselor was with another student. While he waited, he rifled through fliers on the poster board. One of the fliers had a lion he couldn't stop staring at on the cover. He took it. The title was Flag Poetry Night, and had a Rainbow banner down the side. The counselor's door started to open, he jammed the flier in his bag heart racing.

A tall horse left the office and headed back to class leaving a hay and oaty scent behind.

"How can I help you," the counselor asked, "I'm Mrs. Varava."

"Oh, I'm Paul," he said, "I was just looking at the board here," flushing as she looked where the flier had been.

"Yeah," Mrs. Varava, "it's a great place to find special interest notices, was there something you wanted to talk about today?"

"Yes," he said, "I was hoping to change my elective."

"Oh," Mrs. Varava said, "I can help you fill out the form, do you have your current schedule?"

"Yeah here."

"Ah already pretty full," Mrs. Varava said, "you have Science, Gym, Math, Computer Lab, English, Shop, and History. You said you wanted to change your elective that will be computer lab or shop. What classes did you want to take instead?"

He flushed, "I'm interested in Dance or Home ec my best friends are in those classes, but I want to keep shop, I like tools..."

Mrs. Varava, "Do you know the times of the class?"

"No, I'm Sorry," He said, "I have my friend's names, Jill Greyhouse, and Timothy Clark."

"Oh Timmy, I know him," Mrs. Varava said, "and I work with Jill's mom, well her dad too actually."

"How do you know Timmy," he asked.

"He wanted to talk about life and the future, and like you make sure he had classes with you and Jill, but particularly you," Mrs. Varava said.

He felt that weird tickling again, and his voice broke, "Is thAre a way I can do those classes with them."

"Let's look it up on the computer," Mrs. Varava said.

The first bell rang.

"I'll get you another pass," Mrs. Varava said.

Mrs. Varava hung an equal sticker in her window and a rainbow flag above her computer both sat at eye level as he entered the office, This lady likes rainbows. He shifted so he couldn't see them, not wanting the counselor to think he was looking at them.

Mrs. Varava typed away when she reached her desk in the dimly lit warm light office, then said, "Home ec lines up with computer lab nicely, however Dance is at the same time as Shop so you'll have to pick one or the other this semester."

"I have to pick..." he said, "I wanted both but I kinda need shop."

"Well there's always February," Mrs. Varava said, "you can make new choices then, if you want the classes together ask if they will join up in shop that semester, or you can do shop now."

"I guess," He said shifting his backpack, "I really want to learn to do helpful things, for when I'm a dad."

"What makes this so important," Mrs. Varava asked.

"Because," He said, "it's the only way I'll get to learn it, my mom's a single mom."

"You know," Mrs. Varava said, "she might be able to teach you, dads aren't the only ones that can teach you things."

"I guess..." He said, "can I have the two-classes changed I'll ask Jill and Timmy if we can do shop next time."

"It will just take a sec," Mrs. Varava said, "then I'll print the new schedule and get you another hall pass."

"You really think mom might know tools," he asked, "cause I doubt she knows anything."

"Yeah, I do," she said walking to the printer, "I think she will surprise you."

"Maybe but her surprises suck," He said.

"Well no one's perfect," Mrs. Varava said, "here's the schedule one more sec... here's your pass, feel free to stop by if you ever need to talk."

"Can do thanks." He said then ran out of the office putting the new schedule in his bag. He uncrumpled the flier while he walked to a garbage can staring at the smiling lion. At the can he checked up and down the hall bit his lip, the second bell rang, then he stuffed the flier back into his bag. He slung his bag back over his shoulder and ran to class.

Passing the row of windows to the science room Timmy caught his eye sitting backwards on his chair arms on the backrest and butt sticking out in those new tight jeans. That warmth and the tickling feeling came over him and he missed a step, What's wrong with me?

_ _

_ _

Chapter 20 Jill then:

Jill took a seat in the back of the room at a table for three. She sat on the far right with Timmy on the far left leaving the middle seat saved for Paul. Mrs. Ashwood spoke with another teacher at an inside door that connected two class rooms. The black countertops wrapped the walls with gaps every five feet for a sink, gas, and water nozzles.

"Timmy," She said, "there's this girl Shelly I know from the pool, she told me that in home ec you do a baking or cooking team project. Would you want to work with me baking?"

"Sure," Timmy said turning his chair around backwards, "as long as we don't make anything corn based. Corn makes me so gassy."

"Thanks for over sharing," she said, "well that changes what I had in mind a little. But we can change the base flour mix I guess."

"My opinion is optional," he asked, "You already planned the project didn't you?"

"Maybe," she said, "just think of it as an easy A, I wonder what we'll do in this class?"

"I have my own goal then," he said grinning, "I think the goal is to learn and not fall asleep while you do everything."

"You're such a dork," She said then the first bell rang, "oh my goddess where is Paul? He should have been done in the office by now?"

"He'll get here eventually," He said, "do you know if every class has a project, I mean, in dance we don't have to make a big choreographed dance, do we?"

"No," She said, drumming the desk, "I don't think it will be like that, Shelly said that science, and history when she took it had projects too but none of the others did."

"Have you planned those too," Timmy asked.

"No, I just love to bake," she said.

"Dang," he said, "here I was hoping for nothing but easy A's."

"Goddess, where is Paul," she said then the second bell rang, "he is so late."

"Oh, I'm sure, he's headed," he said, "So... Jill do you think it's weird for someone to like someone outside their kind?"

"Uh no," She said annoyed, "that would be like 'hey mom dad your marriage was so stupid,' Timmy did you forget I'm hybrid."

"No sorry," He said, rubbing his chin now missing it fluff, "I meant it's not weird to like someone that's different, like you might like someone that isn't a rat or mouse right, or you could?"

No no no no, Goddess he likes me this is going to totally ruin everything, she played with the tip of her tail then asked, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, dad being dad," Timmy said, "he keeps saying that its great I have diverse friends, but I need to hang with the sheep more or I'll never find someone to date."

"And you don't agree," she asked, "don't know if you want to date another sheep?"

"No, I know," Timmy said, "I don't want to date a sheep, Jill, can you keep a secret."

"Yeah lips sealed-"

"Class quiet down," Mrs. Ashwood said, "Today we are going to go over the goals for the class. But first lets each share with the class our name, something about ourselves and something we love."

She whispered, "What was it Timmy?"

"Never mind," Timmy said slumping down further over the back-rest chin on his resting arms.

Crunching gravel and a loud, "Oaf." Came from outside then several windows closer to the door Paul popped up like a jack-in-the-box.

"Finally," she said, "I hope the class change worked out, I'm too short to dance with you easily I guess you can practice with Paul."

"MAybe," Timmy said voice breaking, "but there will be so many other girls."

Timmy smelt embarrassed.

"You ok Timmy," she asked.

"I guess," Timmy said, tail flapping, "I really really hate my voice breaking I liked the way I sounded before."

The teacher stopped Paul at the front of the room.

"Mr. Smith welcome to class," the teacher said, "I'm Mrs. Ashwood may I see your note, and before sitting share your name, something about yourself and something you love."

"Oh uh... I'm Paul," Paul said blue wide-eyed panic flashing across the room, "and I like the ocean and, ah my dad was in the military and my mom is an administrative assistant."

"That's nice," Mrs. Ashwood said, "but let's make it something about you personally and something you love."

"Oh, I eat fish a lot," he said which got a laugh from the class, "And I love my friends Jill and Timmy."

"Lover boy," someone shouted and some of the class laughed.

Paul's ears flattened and his tail straightened, then he headed back to the table, "Jill what did I miss?"

"Not much," she said, "oh, Timmy hates his voice breaking."

"Jill what happened to Lips sealed," Timmy said.

"That was your secret," she asked skeptically.

"No... but thanks for sharing," Timmy said.

"You have a secret," Paul asked.

"No," Timmy said, "Not that I want to share around Miss Blabber mouth."

"Be that way," She said, "and its Lady Blabber Mouth to you peasant."

Half the class had introduced themselves, I'm a hobby baker and I love my best friends.

"I'm not a peasant," Timmy said, "Paul how did the class change go?"

"I switched to Home EC," Paul said, rummaging through his bag, his fur stood and he threw the bag under his desk, "and dance with you both, can we do shop together next semester... I don't get many chances to learn about tools and things?"

"Paul dads an engineer," Timmy said, "let's talk to him, he's way better than the shop teacher, we made the pool table in the basement... but it was so boring, it would be better if you were there."

"Really, he wouldn't mind," Paul asked, "The counselor said I should ask mom, but like she can fix anything. Jill, you ok?"

"I'm fine..." she said, "oh, your mom, she helped dad switch out the intercom," she patted her head for the missing headband, Goddess was I staring again.

"Yeah," Paul said, "but who uses an intercom anymore and creepy that your parents can listen to your room."

"With how good your hearing is," Timmy said, "you'd think the intercom wouldn't be needed to listen in anyway."

"Miss. Greyhouse, Mr. Clark," Mrs. Ashwood said, "sorry to interrupt but it's your turns."

"Go Jill," Timmy said.

She stood, "I'm Jillian but I go by Jill, I enjoy baking and," she said, what do I love crap I forgot what I love, "I love... I love babies?"

Paul shook his head while he gave her a mock slow clap under the table.

She sat down, Goddess why did I say that.

Timmy stood, "Hi I'm Timothy, I go by Timmy. I like writing and I love the story of King Arthur."

Timmy sat and Mrs. Ashwood said, "Wonderful, now that we know each other better I'd like to let you all know that we will have a group project and presentation. By the end of class I want to know what your team wants to work on. The project should be something personal and has to do with genetics, later this semester we will do cheek swabs and make an agar gel electrophoretic sample for each of you which will be included in your presentation for the project. I will go around the tables to help you all make a decision. I'm also passing around a sheet that gives project topic ideas. If you want to do something on the sheet that's fine but I also encourage you to find something personal to you as it helps make the assignment more fun."

Mrs. Ashwood passed her the paper listing genetic traits, mutations, and a few conditions.

"Hey Jill," Timmy said, "hybridization is a topic do you want to do that?"

"Great idea," she said, slouching in her chair, "let's go in front of the class and tell everyone how I'm different from practically everyone," then she shoved the paper across the table, "And how I can't have the babies I apparently love."

Paul caught the paper before it could fall off the far side, "Then let's not do hybridization for the class, but you want to be a mom someday."

"So," she said, "what's your point I know that won't happen," she shifted away from Paul.

"Well," Paul said, "let's do that compatibility thing your mom and dad did, then you're not sharing you're a hybrid."

"We could do the immune system," she said, "have a comparison if Mrs. Ashwood says we can," she sat up, "and it'll be funny cause we could talk about Timmy and you having a baby together."

Timmy's eyes went huge and Paul's fur stood.

She laughed, "thanks Paul, you always know how to make me feel better."

"Now that you feel better," Timmy said, "can we do something simple like fur color?"

"Why that project," She asked.

"Nothing," Timmy said radiating embarrassment, "I just don't want to pretend to have Paul's baby."

"What's wrong with me," Paul asked.

"Nothing... nothing at all," Timmy said softly, "Guess it's wrong with me."

"No, your fine Timmy," She said, "But comparing two boys having a baby is funny because that can't happen. Plus, someone else will probably be doing fur color."

"Hello, my talkative table, any ideas," Mrs. Ashwood said coming by Timmy.

"Yes," Timmy said, "we saw hybridization on the list."

"A common topic, but a sensitive one," Mrs. Ashwood said, glancing at her, "how are you all thinking of doing it?"

"Yeah, we know," Paul said, "but we wanted to not focus on how hybrids are different, but how parents find out they are compatible, right Jill."

"Yeah," she said, "I thought it would be fun and funny to compare each of us to each other."

"I love the project idea," Mrs. Ashwood said, "we can do most of the steps hear in class, but the actual test is beyond the resources at the school, but I have a friend at a fertility clinic let me see what we can do here. Great job you all."

"Thanks," she said as Mrs. Ashwood moved to the next table, "Guys it's like when we used to play house."

"Crap," Timmy said, "Please don't make me the pet fish again."

"Come on," Paul said, "you want to learn to swim right, think like a fish and its easy."

"Don't they forget things," Timmy asked, "Like, every few minutes?"

"Good point" Paul said, "I guess Jill is the fish now."

"Ha Ha, I'm not that bad," She said, "By the way, who's house are we meeting at for the pool?"

"I think mine," Timmy said, "cause I need my back sheared the rest of the way."

"Ok, I'll meet you both there," She said, "I've got to stop at the library first."

"So," Paul said, Cinnamon going spicy, "I guess I'll shave your back, where else do you need?"

"Not sure," Timmy said, "I can't see back there."

"See," She said, "that's why you should go to a groomer, Paul did and it looks great."

"I would," Timmy said, "but the shaver and the new clothes weren't cheap, how do they look Jill you never told me?"

"They're fine," she said, "have you ever thought about dying your fur?"

"My dad would never let me," Timmy said, "He says only girls dye or bleach their fur."

"If you could," Paul asked, "Would you get it done, I mean if you could?"

"Spots..." Timmy said softly, "like yours I've always liked them."

"That is so cute," She said, "I agree spots on fur is sexy."

"Sexy," Paul asked tail dancing, "Jill are you reading seventeen mag again?"

"Huh look at that," she said flushing at the lie, "you speak and spots lose their appeal."

Chapter 21 Timothy:

Timmy walked home next to Paul, to his house, in the damp grass, outside the school, after the final bell, "I don't look to girly with short fur, do I?"

Track guys ran by, maple, cedar and pine scents following them in their wakes. Cricket chirped in the grass by the chain-link fence. The puddles and pavement warm from the bright sun and silent breeze.

"...Have you," Paul said gravel and everyone heading home's chattering echoed out from the school, "Uhm, ever had a kinda tickling tingling feeling?"

"Like your paw falling asleep?"

"I guess, but not uncomfortable," Paul said, "It feels kind of warm and nice."

"I might have," He said, "I had a good feeling a little when I sheared. It kinda tickled too."

Paul looked him up and down, then gripped his backpack straps tightly, "Yeah probably like that, but when you see people."

"Uhm no," he said, hug him he seems worried, "I don't know, I feel awkward ever since I had that growth spurt. Are you ok?"

"YeAh, damnit," Paul said voice braking, "Why doesn't your voice break?"

"I don't know," he said, "But I don't want it to change. It broke in science."

"Why is that," Paul asked, then ran to the garage grabbing a backpack and his bike.

"I like the way I am," he said shuffling.

"I want to grow up," Paul said, "I mean you get to drive and you know things."

"Like what," he said, "and let hurry to my place or we won't have time to finish my back before Jill gets there."

"Oh, date and stuff," Paul said while they walked.

"What stuff," he asked, His voice is getting deeper, I like that but don't like mine doing that.

Paul stopped walking, "You know stuff."

"I don't know what stuff you're talking about."

"Like making yourself feel good," Paul said, fur standing, "Like you know, kissing, sex and playing with yourself."

What is he talking about, with myself? He walked for a bit, "Yeah... yeah, that will be nice."

"You asked something about your shearing," Paul asked as they turned onto his street black flies buzzing around in the lazy breeze.

"I was," He said, "does short hair make me look girly," He kicked a pebble, Dad will hate this.

"No, it makes you look good," Paul said.

He unlocked his blue door while he yelled, "Mom, I'm home, but I'm going to go hang with Paul and Jill."

No one replied, Paul pointed, "there's a note on the banister."

"I will be back around seven," he read, walking to the mudroom off the garage, "sweet, let's get my back finished, she's off at the church."

Paul followed to the mudroom shifting from paw to paw.

"Paul, are you ok," he asked stopping outside the door. Then pulled his shirt off setting it on butcher board court of his blue gray kitchen.

Paul pulled his swim shorts from his backpack then stood, "I just need to..."

He checked to see what Paul froze to look at, There's nothing behind me, he asked, "Paul what are-"

The mudroom door slammed after Paul flew passed him.

"Hey," he said, "I was going to change first," he tested the door knob.

"Had to pEe," Paul said through the door voice breaking.

"Fine, I'll get the shearer," he said, then tripped over Paul's bag stepping back.

He stuffed Paul's book back in then grabbed a colorful flier.

FLAG poetry night, Paul likes poetry, what's this FLAG and PFLAG? He went to his dad's study.

The rooms bookshelf lined walls full of reference and engineering tomes remained tidy with only the maple desk sitting under the white blinds and musty maroon drapes and the entry door breaking up the floor to ceiling shelves.

He looked through the shelves till he found dads dictionary.

He flipped to F.

"Flag - noun, verb : 1. n. Usually a rectangular piece of fabric used as a moniker or symbol"

He glared at the ceiling, Well duh.

He flipped to P.

"PFLAG an abbreviation meaning : Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays"

That's an insult but what's a lesbian, He flipped to L after tucking the flier into the P section.

"Lesbian - noun : 2. n. A woman who is a homosexual."

A woman that's a what? He flipped to H.

"Homosexual - noun, adjective : 3. Adj - based on or showing a sexual attraction to people of the same sex."

He flipped to A just to be sure.

"Examples of attract in a sentence - Her bright blue eyes attracted me"

I like Paul's bright blue eyes there like mine, just a little different, He put the book back on the shelf and got his shearer from the upstairs bathroom. So, gay is an insult because someone's attracted to someone else... that's not very nice.

He hopped his way down the stairs, to the still locked mudroom door.

"Hey, are you changing now," he asked knocking.

"No, I told you I'm peeing," Paul growled through the door.

"Still."

"Yes, go away."

Why has Paul been so weird lately, he got radish chips and some water from the kitchen, Paul rustled around in the bathroom, "hey, do you have fleas, mom has the special shampoo."

"No, I don't have fleas," Paul said, "Go away."

"What's that noise," He asked.

"Nothing, it's nothing, go away."

"Come on Paul," he said pacing and snacking on chips, "Jill's on her way, don't make me get the door key."

"Just a second," Paul yelled.

"Fine I'm getting the key," he said going to mom's sewing desk in the living room by the painted brick fireplace.

After getting the key and grabbing the handle the door flew open.

"There it's open," Paul growled up at him, lavender air freshener bombarded his nose.

Paul's eye's are so pretty, his heart started racing.

"Are you ok," he asked following Paul back into the mud room.

"Yeah, fine... why are you shirtless," Paul asked eyes darting all over.

"Cause you're shearing my back," he said holding out the electric shearer.

Paul's shaking paw took the shearer, "how do I do it?"

"Smooth out the bits I couldn't," he said turning to the sink, watching Paul in the mirror while plugging in the cord.

Paul jumped when it started buzzing, "it does tickle, sorry if I screw it up."

"I doubt you'd do worse than me," he said.

"Fine here it goes," Paul said.

The buzzing touched him, tickling his back like before but this time the front at the same time, Weird why does it tickle there, the space between his hips and the counter got uncomfortable.

The alfalfa and sage of his musk joined Paul's thick Cinnimon and the lavender as the hair fell.

Paul's left paw rested on his hip while the right buzzed along but causing a warm tickling, maybe this is what Paul was describing.

"Done." He unplugged the shearer and turned to Paul the uncomfortable bit of him brushing up against Paul.

A dizzy spell rushed through him.

Paul smiled up at him with eyes less blue more black than normal.

He hugged Paul, "Thanks for getting my back."

Their noses brushed and Paul kissed him, warmly.

He froze confused then pressed back enjoying Paul's lips.

Paul nuzzled his cheek then jerked while pushing away, "Why'd you kiss me, we shouldn't have done that."

"What's wrong," he said, but Paul kissed me.

"We're both boys, we can't," Paul said tail whipping and twitching.

"It's ok cause I like you too," he said, "I mean you're my best friend it's ok if you want to kiss me."

"No, it can't be ok, Timmy," Paul said, musk going salty.

"But there's a word for liking you," he said, "so it has to be ok," What did I do?

"Yeah gay, I can't be gay," Paul said shaking, "I love Jill and at the Stake House they said it's not ok to be gay."

"I love Jill too," He said, "But I love you too, we're family."

"Family don't kiss," Paul said clenching his paws.

"Mom and dad do," he said sitting on the shoe bench, "So, do momma and papa Greyhouse."

"I need to like Jill," Paul said, "I promised."

"Oh... well then you should," he said, "I'll still like you anyway... you kissed me I didn't kiss you."

"Yeah... I'm sorry," Paul said sitting by him on the bench.

"Why, it made me happy," he said, "Like when you played Arthur so I could be the Lady of the Lake."

Paul held out a paw, "I do like you and I like Jill, I just made a promise."

"Well, that's fine," he said, "There's that poetry thing, are you going to go?"

"What poetry thing," Paul asked.

"Tripped on your bag," he said.

"Oh, yeah... I really like poetry," Paul said, "but it's gay so I can't go."

"Kay, you know Arthur in the story," he said rubbing Paul's paw, "He loved the lady of the lake and Guinevere, why couldn't you."

"I don't know, I'm Pridian," Paul said shifting, "and Pridians, they just don't do that anymore."

"You've only been Pridian for a couple years now."

"Ma-my dad was Pridian," Paul said squeezing his paw.

"What if Jill goes to the Poetry," He asked.

"Why would she go," Paul asked.

"I'd asked her too," he said.

"You'd ask her to go so I could," Paul said, "You don't have too."

The doorbell rang.

"Jill's here, crap," he said, standing, dropping his pants, while grabbing his swimsuit off the bench then put them on.

He rushed out grabbed his shirt off the kitchen table. Put it on and answered the door.

"Hey, Jill," he said, the mudroom door slamming. Jill wore a really strong Catnip perfume and a tight two-piece swimsuit, Jill has great girl parts, her body is so much nicer than mine.

"Hey, Timmy, we already to go," she said peeking inside, "Where's Paul?"

"No, Paul is being weird," he said, "he locked himself in the bathroom again, want some beat chips?"

"Keets, kettle beats?"

"Yeah."

"Sure," Jill said, "so you've waded in water right?"

He harrumphed as they crossed the fleshly washed carpet, with Jill behind.

"Just checking."

"You want water or a soda," he asked making a bowl of chips for Jill.

"I can get my water," Jill said grabbing the step ladder they had for her between the frigid and the wall.

"You look nice with that suit," he said setting the bowl on the counter near her, "you have girl parts now."

Jill laughed, "I always had girl bits."

"Well, you have bigger girl bits now," he said shuffling.

"That happens," Jill said sitting on a counter stool, "I'm older and there still not that big."

"I didn't want a growth spurt," he said, "Everyone looks at me now."

"Timmy, of course they do," Jill said grabbing a few chips, "you're handsome and still getting taller, every girl at school I know already thinks you're cute."

"Everyone looks at me weird," he said laying his paws on the cold counter, "I don't even like-"

Paul burst from the bathroom, "Well, I'm already now, no one go in there for a while."

Paul's cinnamon musk so much stronger than normal over powered Jill's perfume when entering the kitchen.

Jill rolled her eyes, "Paul you were that excited to go swimming."

"What, no, shut up Jill," Paul said ears dropping while neck fur stood.

"Paul," he asked, why are they being weird, "why are you both wearing such strong scents when we're going swimming?"

"Yeah Jill, what are you trying to hide," Paul asked tail lashing about.

"I'm not trying to hide, I'm..." Jill said then got up from her stool, "whatever, never mind, let's get going."

He cleaned up the bowls, One second, I should grab a change of clothes."

Jill and Paul chatted in the kitchen while he ran upstairs, I should grab a tee-shirt for the pool too.

He stopped out outside his dad's office, What am I forgetting.

Paul yelled up the stairs, "Timmy, hurry up, Jill and I will be outside."

He grabbed his bag and ran down the stairs.