A Friend's Note #1
A Friend's Note
A/N: Cover is temporary, will replace it as soon as i can. Poorly written and bad grammars, critics encouraged!
1
I inhaled, looking for a scent. Have I been drinking? I scanned the wooden floor my feet had barely set a foot in, just my pants and a few bottle of beers. i have been drinking, I quickly corked my head to the other side of my bed, exhaled a relief when I found it empty
It didn't take long for the relief to turn into loneliness. I might've actually needed to get laid last night. I put some weight on my feet when my head betrayed me sending jolts of pain to my brain. I stepped on a few cans of beer and scrambled the rest. I wasn't big into tidy room anyway
It took me almost half a day when my headache finally calmed down and I can think properly. I must've stayed until last-call; maybe the worst one I've gotten since I moved in here. I lived in a small one bedroom apartment that I shared with my suitcase, the place has no sort of get-up, I was only looking for something affordable.
I stepped outside the shower with a towel over my waist, my fur still too damp to put a shirt on and I have been putting off buying dryer. I settled on the single couch in the living room, just slightly pushed away from the TV far enough to change the channels with my feet
I mindlessly browse through the channels while trying to remember what really happened last night. It would've either been La Croux or Ed's, they were the only bar that was walking distance from my apartment, otherwise I would've passed out on the bar or in someone else's bed
I've chosen this neighborhood not just because its cheap rent, but these street are known for being one of the more gay friendly part of the city. I expected something different, there were no two guys making out in every street corner or all male strip club that opens at day; they're just like any other place I've visited. Just normal people living normal life
I still haven't gotten used to the idea of being gay as normal, after the years of values being forced into my head, it's something that you can't just ignore. The idea was that maybe when I met someone, it would feel normal, like it was meant to be. But I haven't been exactly looking; maybe I was afraid that it will never feel normal?
I sunk further into my couch, drowning out the sound of the TV. I finally decided to call Connor, see if he needs me around in the garage. The past week hasn't been exactly busy for me. I spent my down time there trying to get some work done, Connor had been generous enough to let me work there as an extra hand in exchange for some beer money, but these days not much people come by except for a flat tire or busted headlights
I scrolled through my phone, I got some messages from a lawyer, one from Lucy -a friend of mine, and an unknown number. I quickly clicked over the unknown message icon, probably because I almost sure it was the number that miscalled me a few times -I vaguely remembered angrily turning off the phone last night, it reads:
Mr. Oiler, If you get this message please call me immediately, in regard of your friend, Lucas. -Dr. Lance
Lance? I didn't recognize the name, I recognized Lucas. Because I only know one Lucas, and I was certain what this is about, I still had doubts because it's been a while since we spoke. Why now?
I tried to convince myself to put off pursuing this further. Heck, I could just ignore it and move on with my life. I do not need drama right now and that Doberman is all of it and some more
Yet I dialed the number, after a few rings there was a woman's voice on the other end
"Hello, this is Dr. Lance's phone how may i help you?" she greeted, her voice sounds chirpy and young
"I... this is Pike. Err- Piccard Oiler, I was called by this number a few times last night and just received the text this morning. I believe it's something about my friend, Lucas?" I left out the part where I was black out drunk
She was silent long enough for me to suspect something is wrong. "Mr. Oiler, Dr. Lance is out right now, but he'll be in the hospital again around 7 or 8 tonight, I'm sure he'd like to personally talk to you about how to proceed forward with Mr. Maxwell's care" proceed?
"I... I'll try to make it; can you tell me what it is wrong with Lucas?" I asked
"It's not my place to discuss this, sir. You need to talk to Dr. Lance for that" there was an ugly pause on her part
"I understand" I sighed. "Thanks for your time" I hung up. My mind began to wander to a lot of things, but they're almost always came down to one thing, his drug habit. I don't know what to do with him anymore, the last time we're here -where I got the same phone call. We agreed to put him on rehab; _he_said he wanted to change. I can't deal with this
I made a call to Lucy, she said she's still at work but we can meet for lunch at a café near her office. Lucy was the person who made me move here -pushed me to move here. Mostly because she knew I was gay, I got curious. That and also I don't know where home is anymore, I needed to start a new
I put on a red shirt, the only shirt that's pressed and doesn't smell like alcohol and depression, and a brown slack that I wear to dates, which is why I don't get to wear it often. It's only a few blocks away from my apartment when I spotted her sitting by the window table, reading something from her phone. Her ears quickly perked up as she spotted me walking in. She's a lean gazelle with a pair of deep green eyes, she's a bit paler than the other gazelles I've met, her antlers are trimmed and polished but she refused to admit she had the thing reshaped
"is there really something you needed to tell me, or are you just bored?" she grinned and gave me her most warm smile
"A little bit of both" I let out with a smile. "How's your job going?" I put Luther out of my mind for a while
"Same old: I take phone calls, arrange my boss schedules, and make sure his mocha latte doesn't have whip cream on it" She rest her chin on her paw. "But you didn't come here to talk about my job, you've got something on your mind and you said it's important. So what is it? I hope it's a guy"
I scratched my head, I scanned the room looking if someone perks their head in our direction, but no one seems to care. I have always used to watching my back about my identity(?). "It's not about that, it's-" I trailed off, collecting my train of thoughts, somehow I preferred talking about her job now. "I got a message from someone -a doctor, I think. About Luke, i think he's in trouble"
Her ears drooped now. "I.. haven't heard from him since he got discharged. did he...?"
"I don't know" I bit out. "I've talked to him about it... about the heroin. He said he's not getting into that shit again. He was in rehab the last time we talked, but I didn't hear from him after that" I sighed
"God damn it Lucas" she cursed. "Did you talk to Eli about him?"
"Not yet, I just got the message this morning, I called back and they said I need to go there around 7 tonight, it sounded serious. I don't know what to do" I averted my gaze out the window, people walking the sideway, my mind wanders what kind of shit they have to face in their own lives. My hand fidgeted nervously. "I don't need this kind of shit right now... the dog can take care of himself, we -I need to stop putting our lives on pause to take care of him"
She didn't respond for a while, I could guess that she was talking herself into agreeing with me, but if I know her, she fought a losing battle. "If he's in trouble, he'll need us to be there... I don't think he and Eli talked after they broke up" She put a paw on mine, I returned it with a slightly forced smile. "I'll go with you after I get off work, then if either of you wanted to fight each other -again, I'll drag you out of there, deal?"
"I..." Would it be so bad? He was my friend, he still is. But, if the situation is reversed, would he have been there for me? "If you'll come along, I guess It won't hurt to come visit"
"Good" she smiled "Let's talk about something else" she seems a lot more relaxed now as she sunk back to her seat. "Tell me about your date with Ford?"
I recalled the tall brown reindeer. He was Lucy's friend from work and her Vegetarian United Club. She had been nagging me about him ever since I moved here and I finally relented and went on a date with him, apparently being gay was enough for both of us to have in common to be matched together. We had a nice meal together, but I took a rain check when he offered me to come back to his place
"Didn't you two talk?"
"I barely know him, I set you two up because he seems like your type"
"Overmasculine jock in suits?" I gave a mock growl
"Cute and Shy, you think me that shallow?"
"About this, yeah" I said. "Nah, I didn't sleep with him, if that's what you're asking" her ears droop low enough for me to notice. "He's a nice guy -a little bit eager, and he dress well. But when I was with him, I just don't feel us click, you know. I don't want it just to be another one night stand; I'm 32 for lion Christ. My days of sleeping around is numbered, I think I'm ready to settle down"
"You were married and look where settling down gets you" she gestured the air; I shifted uncomfortably. "Most people here aren't looking for a husband; all they wanted is to have fun and regretting it the morning after"
"Is that a gay thing?"
"It's more like a men thing" she dismissed. "Just have fun, okay? Gay guys dig men from the service"
"That's definitely a gay thing" I smirked. "The last time I slept with a girl I ended up marrying her, the other time I tried to do stuff with a guy, I ended up got kicked from the army. I'm not exactly thrilled about trying to have my third mistake"
I ended up regretting saying those. My discharge was always a sore subject for either of us, mainly because she was angrier than me about my discharge after they found me out. "About that, Pike I- I've been talking to a lawyer. He says if you wanted to come forward with it, he can help you fight it and maybe, just maybe we can get this case some public attention"
"Christ! Lucy" I said, it came out louder than intended. "I told you I don't want to fight" I lowered my voice now
"The people from GLAD are ready to rally behind you, you have a lot of people ready to support you" she pushed. "It'll help a lot of other gay kid who wanted to join the army" I remembered GLAD (Gay and Lesbians Against Discrimination) they're one of those groups that organized marching and rally on the weekends. They're usually peaceful and harmless, but even now they're still met with the occasional preacher from churches that carrying signs like "GOD HATES FAGS" or "SODOMY IS A SIN"
"I can't... I don't want to be the one to fight this -to fight them" I let out. "I've been fighting my whole adult life"
There was a quite pause that seems like an eternity, before she started. "Pike, you can't igno-... just think about it, okay?" I nodded. "Crap, I only have five minutes left. Umm, I'll pick you up tonight for Lucas and then maybe we can go to a bar or something"
"Yeah sure" I agreed. She took off after paying for both of us before I could offer to pay my half
I strolled downtown to a mall; I had nothing to do other than watching TV all day if I went back to the apartment. I got a message from Connor, he said they only have two cars in today and it's pretty slow down there. I had a couple hundred dollars left and the VA benefit is generous enough to cover for my rent and my health insurance, so I use most of my money to buy booze and food. I decided to walk around looking for new shirts but ended up not buying any, the whole thing with Lucas had me distracted
I told Lucy I haven't talked to him since he was in Rehab and that was the truth. I regretted not reaching out and checking up on him. I didn't know how the drugs started, but I can trace it back to its roots. It's that damned scouting mission, I could still remember the smell of blood, the rocks tearing through my uniform when we had to crawl our way out of there, most of all, I can remember his scream clearer than any other. He was struck on his shoulder and I carried him out of there, crawling and sprinting, scrapping my feet, bruising my elbows. I could still remember the pain, sometimes they're there like a phantom limb. I remembered there's only one thing I have in my mind at that moment; that I have to get him out of there
Shortly after that he got discharged and we say our goodbyes, I stayed for another three years. He told me he'll be coming home to Cleveland where his girlfriend Eli lived. No one really knows where he got the drugs, but we know that it happened shortly after he broke up with Eli, I can assume that's why
I walked back home around 4, I probably should change before going to the hospital. I pulled out my phone and dial a contact listed as 'Jenna'. I've tried contacting her several times over the course of this week, this is probably the first time while not drunk. Again, I was answered by that recorded message that I've become more familiar with. I cursed silently
I put out my phone again and called Connor, he answered it after the first two rings
"Heya brother" he said quickly
"Hey Connor, did you hear about Luke?" I asked
"What about him?" his voice less cheerful now. "Did he get into that drug shit again?" my silence practically confirmed it. "damn that dog!"
"I don't know the details yet. but me and Lucy visiting him tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to come along"
He was quite for a while, then I heard him gave a long sigh. "I can't deal with him right now, that dog can throw his life away all he wants, I'm done trying to clean up his mess" he said, slipping some growl out of him. "Don't tell Lu that, tell her I'm taking Martha out to a date or something"
"Okay" I didn't argue
"I just... He said last time was the end of it... He's a grown man, he doesn't need me telling him what shit to do and don't"
"I understand" I said dryly. "Garage is empty again today?"
"Hardly anyone came in, you know how it is" He said lazily. "You're coming in tomorrow?"
"Maybe, I gotta see this Lucas thing through first" I stopped at a crossroad. "gotta go, I'll call you about Lucas if I know anything, and say hi to Martha and the kids for me"
"Will do!" i hung up. I exhaled, trying to think of any reasons to bail out of visiting Lucas and just go drink and pick up someone -tonight might be right night to do that. Instead I waited in my apartment, watching TV and drinking beer until Lucy called me. She was off her work attire and into a green blouse and tight jeans, she drove a red Sedan that she got as part of her job facility. It was a lot nicer than my old jeep that I practically dragged out of the junkyard and hold it together with tape and glue
"So, where is it?" I was spaced out for a while when she asked that
"What?" I said out of reflex
"The hospital, isn't there like an address they gave you?"
"Oh, right. It's that Princeston hospital downtown, I think we need to look for Dr. Lance" I replied simply
We head downtown through the main street. The car was filled with silence for most of the ride, I was mostly spaced out.
thinking about Jenna, wandering where she is right now, or what is she doing. To me, she was always the girl who waitress at that restaurant, the girl that I took to that hill where I first kissed her, the girl that I proposed a few weeks before I was being deployed
I always pictured her in that waitress outfit, cheerful and tail lifted and swinging around so often. She was a German Shepherd, she's got the most mesmerizing golden eyes I've ever seen, and she's got this cute spot on her neck she always tried to hide with a collared shirt. I wander what she looks like now, most of all, I wonder what she would say to me after all these years
The car came to a full stop on a dimly lit parking lot where a hospital stood just across the street. "Here we are" Lucy said, almost unenthusiastically. "Listen, Pike. Don't start anything, okay?" she turned to face me now. "I'm sure he's been going through a lot of stuff too, we're here to help him through it okay?"
I gave a long pause before answering. "I'll behave if he behaves" I said, she put a paw on my shoulder and I turned to her face dead serious. "Fine, I'll be good"
We walked in to the receptionist to ask where Dr. Lance's office is, one of the nurse was kind enough to walk us there. We stopped at a door with a writing on it Dr. Alexander Lance - Head of Neurosurgery
I gave a look to Lucy, Neuro meant Lucas had a brain problem, but he never tell me -or anyone about. Then came out a vixen, a red fox. I recognized her as soon as I heard her voice. "Ah, you must be Mr. Oiler, you two can come in" The assistant gestured at me
We went inside, the place was painted in white with a green carpet, there were not much inside except for some trophies and pictures that I didn't have the time to look at. "Please sit, Dr. Lance is just finishing up, he'll be right here in a minute, is there something I can get you two"
I shook my head, Lucy said. "no thank you, we're good" then she left
I took another look around the room. There were books displayed neatly alongside the wall-shelf, some trophies, and a football signed with number #57 on it. I take a look around the place, it seems nice enough but somehow the place just felt... lonely?
The door was open when I turned my head; it was an Arctic Fox, barely shorter than Lucy, wearing a labcoat and collared blue shirt without a tie. I knew arctic foxes, I met some of them in my time at the army, but he's a lot better groomed, and his eyes is a shining golden, brighter than Jenna's
"Mr. Oiler?" he held out a hand, I shook it
"Yes" I returned a smile
"Dr. Lance, and you are, miss?" he turned to Lucy
"Parker, Lucy Parket. It's nice to meet you" he took a seat after shaking her hand
"I'm Mr. Maxwell's leading physician on his care here. Please sit down" we did, he took some time skimming the file but brief enough for me to know that he was already familiar with the case. "Lucas Maxwell, age 30, came in with complaints of extreme headache and listed as a recovering drug addict, two years ago"
"Yeah, we were there. He went into rehab, we just want to know why he went back here again. Is there something wrong with his brain, is he okay?" Lucy asked
He stopped reading the folder now. He hesitated, but opened his mouth anyway. "I'm sorry to inform you this, but Lucas Maxwell died. He was in for a procedure to surgically remove a brain tumor two days ago, he died on the table after a heart attack and complications after the surgery..." he was silent now. I heard Lucy gasped, covering it with her paws. "We did everything we could..."