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Hi Dad, I don't know if you have started reading these anonymously online and just haven't said anything or what... I just feel I should apologize for not updating my blog for a while. Going over the events that have transpired over the last year, to write them down brings a lot of different emotions to the surface all at once. You know how sometimes we wish we could fast forward through moments in our lives, to get from points A to B in a situation quickly? Well when you replay those hurtful and depressing moments, even for the purpose of writing them down, you're flooded with all of those emotions all at once. It's an intense and frightening experience, though it does help to bring closure.

Dad, while you were out to work the day I left off in the last blog entry, I cleaned up the place and headed out to see my friends. It wasn't often I would go into the city, but downtown was an easy spot to hit up for us, the abundance of cheap restaurants made it a perfect spot to meet and chill. You should have seen the looks I got from Maggie and Simon, oh you remember them, right? Maggie's that raccoon girl from the General Casting class, the shy one with the braces. She and Simon started dating the day before graduation, I know, finally after playing coy with each other for 2 years, she nabbed the handsome coyote! Well, you didn't know I thought he was handsome before now but I had a huge crush on Simon. He knew it, and would revel in it, always loved a good ego boost, of course being a star jock on the school hockey team, it made sense. Anyway, they knew about the abusive relationship I had with that asshole dragon, they encouraged me to end it many times for my safety. When they saw me that day though, not only could they tell I was better, happier, "You LOOK like a free man!" that's what Simon told me that day. They asked me what had changed, what happened to finally get me to leave him, hoping somewhat their advice on the matter had been the deciding factor.

They were surprised to hear that you were the one that had decided for me. I told Maggie and Simon both everything that had happened and by the end the tale, my cheeks were dark red from embarrassment, or possibly guilt, I couldn't tell which. Maggie especially was thankful to you for helping me, she had a fondness for me, being one of her few male friends. I didn't want to make them feel as though I was just ignoring their obvious concern for my well-being in favor of satisfying your paternal instincts, they might have caught on after watching my face express as much. They both gazed into my eyes and assured me they were only thrilled to know I was far removed from the dragon. After lunch we spent some time hanging out at a small Faerie Well, the sky was clear and air was cool enough for us to relax out in the open.

It had been a great day, it passed by quickly along with the following couple of months. It was nearly winter solstice, I had been out shopping for a gift for you out in downtown, when coming out of an antique shop I bumped into another wolf. He was talking on his phone, not paying attention (neither was I, honestly), when we collided. I was knocked to the ground from the impact, hitting the back of my head on the sidewalk caused me to lose my orientation, the wolf pulled me up to my feet whilst apologizing. "That's alright, it was my fault for not paying attention..." I started, my eyesight cleared with some quick blinks. "Dad, what are you doing here?" The eyes fixed on mine widened, he raised an eyebrow with the response of "Uh, who, me?" The moment I heard his voice I knew he wasn't you, my eyesight finally corrected and confirmed that fact. I blushed a deep red to match my swaths of crimson tipped fur, then breathing out a chuckle. "Uh, sorry, you look a LOT like my father, a near spitting image..." He did look so much like you, Dad. I could tell under the haggard brown leather jacket, black flannel shirt and tight navy blue jeans that the wolf had roughly the same build as you, large chest and arms, same dark fur, but no unusual colored stripes though, his midsection was soft but didn't puff out much, plus he had dark blue eyes opposed to your deep purple. The surprised expression drifted suddenly into that of a mopey child, "Oh," he murmured. "Not that it's a bad thing, I think you're incredibly gorgeous! Just like-" Oh, that was smooth, Allen, was all that my mind had to tell me after trying blurt out a compliment. I had attempted to restore some semblance of confidence in the man, not admit something so personal that would likely have caused problems. That moment I felt as though I had stopped digging the hole with a shovel and opted for a bulldozer, fortunately the rental shop was closed, all metaphorically speaking of course, because he reached his hand out again for a proper introduction. "I get it, dude, it's all good. I'm Daniel." He cut me off before I mentioned 'gorgeous just like my Dad'... it was the perfect opportunity to shut my mouth, take his hand in mine and shake and I took it like a starving man to food. "Uh, hi I'm Allen."

We talked for a while, mindlessly walking around downtown as the light snowfall covered us in white. We found another Faerie Well, though it wasn't hosting any of the little creatures this time of year due to the cold weather, but the benches around the area were kept warm for the public, we sat and continued our conversation. "So, gorgeous, like your father, huh?" A smirk on his muzzle flashed as he glanced my way. He pulled out a pack of smokes, offering one to me, I declined but told him I didn't mind that he smoked. He let out a "harrumph" and lit the cylinder in his lips. "I would still light up even without your permission, Allen." That sent up a red flag right away, the statement dripped with an attitude that was all too familiar. "I'm sure my ex would have said the same." He exhaled, without moving his head, opting to turn his eyes my way to his left, "That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" The subtle scratchy, crackling of his voice was shamefully relaxing to me, I knew it had to have been from many years of smoking, it was even more evident now as there was only half a cig left in his snout. It might have been the relaxing quality of his voice at the moment or simply not wanting to deal with an argument I decided to apologize. "Don't worry about it, I can finish this later." He put out the cigarette, the remainder placed back in the little box with the fresh ones. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close against his chest, just like you do for me, Dad. I swear I tried not to compare him to you so much.

We sat in that position in the bench for a while, maybe an hour until he nuzzled his snout against my forehead, I must have dozed off. "Hey, I have to get home, dude. You need a ride back to your place?" I checked the time, it had been close to two hours since we started talking, I knew the last bus home was out of reach from where we were. Daniel didn't even wait for me to respond, "My car's this way, back near that shop where you rammed into me, c'mon." I was suddenly lifted from the bench, carried two steps bridal style in the wolf's arms until he gently put me on my own feet. Daniel couldn't help but smile and point out that I was blushing again. "I don't blush, sir." A lie, of course, but spoken confidently and with such finely crafted conviction, I placed my cold hands in the pockets of my jacket and strolled alongside my walking companion. "Oh no, dude..." the wolf came up beside me, wrapping his arm tight around my waist to keep me warm. "I am no 'sir' and I am no 'daddy' either..." His breath was quickly warming my right ear as his words turned to a whispered honey, "but if you can accept that, I would like to go out with you again sometime." I shuddered under the spell of his soothing voice, nearly buckled onto the ground again just as we reached his car. "I'd like that." A gentle turn around of my body, he looked directly into my eyes as he moved forward to kiss me. "Good," the wolf's words rumbled from his throat, "I love seeing all of those shades of embarrassment and lust when you look at me. All of those rosey light pinks, to the deep crimson just beneath your silver fur... it's painfully obvious. You..." Kiss, "want," nibble, "me." lick. My mind switched away from the gentle nibbles on my neck, the pecks of kisses on my cheeks, the gentle licks around my face, none of it registered at that moment. All I could focus on were those times when I blushed in front of you, Dad. Was it obvious to you as well? When I'm ready to show all of this to you, be gentle when you admit that you knew I was so obviously in love with you...... please.