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Hello all. As promised, here is the next chapter of Horizon. This doesn't contain any yiff, but does contain attempted suicide. So, you have been warned. A special thinks to Dasher Cheetah whom assisted me with this chapter.

Into the Horizon: Problems Revealed

Bane sat alone in his office. As he looked though various reports, he sipped a cup of coffee. He was trying to concentrate on his work, but his attention would wander and he would find himself staring at the wall. He wasn't really seeing the wall but seeing Ulra's head snapping back, the splatter of blood and brains, hearing the report of the gun and smelling the burnt gun powder. He hadn't slept in a long time. In fact, he couldn't remember the last good sleep he had enjoyed. Usually he would end up cuddling with Scott while Scott slept. Every time he closed his eyes he would see Ulra's head snap back and the crimson geyser erupting out of the back of it. There was no rest and no peace for Bane, even in the arms of his lover. The gun responsible for her death sat on his desk. It looked so inviting. It kept whispering to him that the cure for his suffering was in its power to give. He didn't really know why he had kept it, but the same weapon that created his problems could solve all of them. All he had to do was pick it up, hold it to his head, and pull the trigger one last time. Just one more time and he could end it all. He reached out, picked up the gun, and just held it. The weight of it felt good in his hands, it felt solid, comforting somehow. All he had to do was stick it in his mouth and pull the trigger, that's all it would take. He began raising the gun, turning it towards himself. Looking down the black hole the bullet would come from and ease his pain. . . then realized he was thinking foolishly. He had responsibilities to the alliance, the base, and his friends. If he were to do this, what would become of them? But. . . what of his own pain? Wouldn't they be better off without him? Was he doing his job or holding them all back? The answers would not come to him. There was only the constant cycle of how much he hurt, how peace was not going to come to him, how simple it would be to just aim, pull the trigger and end it all. He sat the gun back down onto the desk and tried once more to focus on the things he needed to do. This had become his daily routine. He would sit at his desk, pick up the gun, and try to work up the courage to pull the trigger. Each day he failed but he could tell, it was getting nearer to the time when he would do it. The thoughts were interrupted when he suddenly he became aware of a rumbling in his stomach. Food had been long forgotten, but the pains of hunger were something he could take care of right now. He locked his computer and headed for the restaurant. The alliance had wanted to make the base seem more permanent, more like a city than a military facility. Therefore it had become a restaurant instead of a cafeteria. Someone had added homey touches that made it look like a restaurant and less like a military mess hall. This made no sense to Bane, but it made the crew happy and he could live with that.

Scott, Ron, and Dasher were sitting in the restaurant eating dinner. They had long given up on getting Bane to come and eat with them. All he would do recently was to stay in his office. He would often spend two and three days in his office without coming out. He had closed himself off from everybody and everything. In fact, he had not even been to visit Bill in the hospital. Normally, the trio would talk while they ate. On this day, there was no conversation. Each one of the trio was brooding on their own thoughts. Scott had finally managed to get the base's outdated internal sensor system back up and running at full capacity. They had had life signs detectors, but not a working sensor system. Now, with the proper security access one could see any room of the base. Scott had accessed Bane's office and discovered his daily ritual with the gun. He hadn't told the others yet as he wasn't sure what the best course to take was. To tell anyone else what he had seen Bane doing, felt too much like a betrayal of his dearest friend and lover. How would the wolf react to being spied on, much less to Scott, who he considered his closet friend, telling others of his moments of weakness and doubts? Could Scott live with doing that to Bane? More importantly, could Bane forgive Scott for doing that? Scott just didn't know. There was no doubt that Bane was doing a good job running the facility and the alliance. However, at what cost to him? As Scott sat eating, Dasher and Ron were also quietly considering Bane. Bane had been avoiding Ron and even yelled at Dasher to leave him alone. In fact, if the trio didn't know him well, they wouldn't even recognize him. His personality had completely changed. He was not the same compassionate wolf he had once been. He was getting careless of his appearance, wearing dirty uniforms that were wrinkled. His fur was dull and hadn't been brushed more that perfunctorily. It was apparent that he wasn't bathing regularly either. His own lover didn't even recognize him anymore. Bane had asked Scott to stop sleeping with him shortly after their arrival at the base. The self imposed isolation was growing as Bane felt not only that if he allowed Scott to be close, it would drag him down too, but that he wasn't fit company to be around. Dasher had gone to speak with him and had been informed with a curt snarl, "it was none of his damn business." Scott was about to address the other two about the situation when Dasher beat both Ron and Scott to it. "Ok," began the obviously distressed cheetah, "has anybody else noticed Bane's behavior as of late? He actually yelled at me earlier this week." " Yes," responded Ron, "I've noticed a change indeed. He's actually purposely avoiding me. Scott, you are the closest to him of any of us. Do you know what is going on?" Scott sighed; he knew he had to finally share his own concerns with his friends, but not here. He would not discuss this in public, where half the base could over hear it. His lab would offer the most privacy. It was shielded with both an electronic shield and lead lined walls and both of them combined make it sound proof. "Guys, I do have an explanation but I won't talk about it here. Follow me.", he said.

With this, Scott got up and began heading towards his lab. When the trio reached it, Scott checked to see that the lab was completely empty. As they entered, Scott sealed the room and activated the two-way force field that was designed to protect the room during experiments. "Scott, why the cloak and dagger act?" asked Ron. "Well, because what I'm about to tell you must not go to the crew. Is that understood?" Ron and Dasher both nodded their heads in agreement. Scott led them to some chairs where they sat and Scott gave a heavy sigh before beginning, "Bane is suffering still from what he did to Ulra. We have all noticed it and tried to help but Bane isn't listening to any of us. I. . . He has even asked me to stop sleeping with him! I thought that being alone would let him think and come to terms with what he did but it seems to be only getting worse. A few days ago, I managed to finally get the internal sensors back online. They were horribly damaged from lack of repair, and until recently we simply didn't have the manpower or parts to spare on them. The sensors have a security feature that allows monitoring of every room on base. I have kept this function quiet and locked anyone else out of the system, only I have access to it. I . . . I have been using it to keep a watch on Bane. Since he wasn't letting any of us stay with him, I thought it a good idea to keep an eye on him from afar. If we couldn't be there, I at least wanted to know what he was doing and be aware of things, should I need to come to him. Guys? I think it has gotten beyond anything we can handle and I don't know what to do. I want you to look at this and see what you think. This is what I found. Prepare yourselves, this is hard to watch." Scott walked over to a console and typed in a security password, then pressed play on a control panel. The large central screen light up with Bane's image and the trio watched as day after day he went though the same ritual with putting the gun to his head and in his mouth. All just sat there in shock. They all knew Bane was suffering, but they hadn't a clue it had gotten this bad. Scott turned to see tears in Ron and Dasher's eyes. "Scott," began Dasher, "we've got to help him before he does something stupid." "I agree," added Ron, "this cannot go on, one day he's going to pull that trigger and . . . God! He, *sob* he needs us . . . and *sob* we haven't been able to be there for him." Dasher wrapped his arms around Ron and embraced the sobbing Fox. It had been too much for him to see the video. Ron was a sensitive and gentle soul and seeing his companion and lover come so close to ending his own life, day after day, it was just too much for him to handle. It was a lot for Scott to watch it again and he already knew. He had had a similar reaction when he first found out. In fact, he has spent almost an entire night on the floor of his lab sobbing quietly to himself. Dasher looked grim trying to calm Ron down. He said to Scott, "I knew he was bad off but I had no idea it had it had gotten so bad. We have to do something and very quickly. The problem is though, how is he going to react? This can go any one of several ways, most of them not good." After several minutes of sobbing, the distraught fox regained his composure and returned his attention back to Scott. "What do we do? How can we reach him?" "Well," began Scott, "I'm going to talk to him tonight alone. I'm closer to him than you guys and maybe I can make him listen to me." It was decided then that Scott would confront Bane. Scott deactivated the force field and opened the lab back up. Scott headed for Bane's quarters and Ron and Dasher headed for the observation lounge that was across the hallway from Bane's room. The only thing they could do was be near and wait.

Bane ate his supper silently and alone. He had begun avoiding his friends shortly after he arrived back at the base. He still slept with Scott, but not often. He just didn't want to be around anybody. He couldn't explain it, but being around people was a distraction from his thoughts. He had no tolerance or patience for that right now. The thoughts were taking every bit of attention they could and would tolerate no interference. After his meal was consumed, he headed back to his room. He knew sleep probably wouldn't come but he had to try. Upon entering his room, he discovered Scott sitting behind his desk. "Bane. I was starting to wonder if you would ever come back to your room tonight." " Scott, no offence but I'm not in the mood." Scott said hotly, "You're never in the mood, but you're going to listen to what I have to say." "Really now," said the amused wolf with a hint of bite in his voice, "You're going to order your commanding officer to listen?" "Yes, I am and you are going to listen to me! I know about your ritual with the gun, Bane. I know about how your attitude has changed." Bane simply stood there stunned for a moment. His attitude changed from amusement to one of anger, and then he replied to the charges, "You don't know anything, now please leave." "NO! I am not leaving here until you tell me what the hell is going on." Scott got up and walked over to Bane, concern for his friend written on his face. "Scott, I'm really not in the mood, now leave!" Bane growled. Bane went to turn his back to Scott, but Scott grabbed his arm to keep him facing him. At this point Bane swung his free paw and backhanded Scott across the face. With a gasp of shock Scott collapsed, blood running from the cut lip, developing black eye and bruised cheek inflicted by the hit. The look of shock on Scott's face and the sight of blood, broke thru his mental fog. Bane stood looking at his friend and lover in horror. He had shunned Ron, yelled at Dasher, and now hurt Scott. Bane turned and ran out of the room, a short cry escaping his lips. He had to get to his office, he had to end this. No more would suffer because of his existence!

Ron and Dasher ran into the room at seeing Bane come running out, and gasped at the sight before them. On the floor was a bloody Scott,who was curled into a ball crying. His own friend lover had struck out at him. He never feared Bane, until now. "Scott, are you ok?", asked Dasher. They received no reply. Both began the process of getting Scott up off of the floor. Scott, seeing his friends, pulled them both into a hug. He buried his face into Ron's neck fur and sobbed uncontrollably. Ron had never seen Scott cry before. Even when Max had sacrificed himself to save them, Scott hadn't shed a tear. The three stood embraced and unified by this totally unexpected, horrific act of Bane's. Dasher was furious, this was too much. His hackles rose as he thought that Bane had crossed a line. After Scott regained himself, they headed to Bane's office. The office was attached to the command center, and the command personnel seemed shaken at what they had seen running through the room. Scott ordered them to leave and set up command in the secondary control room. He wasn't sure what would be behind the door, but it wouldn't be good. Scott hacked the sealed door and the three walked in. There, they were shaken by what they found. Bane sat at his desk, his face fur matted from crying. The pistol lay on his desk, his hand around its handle. He looked up and the look on his face made the trio gasp. His eyes were unfocused and the pupils wide. His mind was obviously no longer intact. "Please," began the sobbing wolf, "go away and let me die in peace. It is over and I can't take it anymore." "Bane," began a shaken Dasher, "you don't have to die." "Yes I do! Life no longer has any meaning. I hurt my lover. I yelled at you, and have been ignoring Ron. I only cause pain in every one around me. I don't deserve to live, and you deserve a better friend than me." After saying that, he began to raise the gun. With every ounce of speed he had, Dasher rushed forward and wrenched the gun from the distraught wolf causing it to go off. The boom from the short echoed in the room and the smell of burning gunpowder filled the room. The bulled from the gun embedded itself into a control panel on the wall sending sparks flying from it. "NO!" yelled Bane, Give it back! I need to die!" Scott and Ron rushed forward and tackled Bane as he got up to retrieve the gun. The two held him on the floor while Dasher called the hospital. "NO, NO, let me die...LET ME DIE!", Bane was screaming this at the top of his lungs. The emergency response crew came in and approached the thrashing wolf. As they helped hold down the struggling wolf, one retrieved a syringe and injected Bane with a heavy sedative. "NO...no...no...n," Bane went to sleep uttering the word. Scott then whispered into Bane's unconscious ear "we don't want another friend, we want you." Scott, Ron, and Dasher stood in the office in complete shock. Bane had completely mentally deteriorated, and they had not realized it. There was a shared sense of guilt among them for not seeing it sooner.

After a trip to the hospital to get Scott patched up, the trio then joined Bane in the mental ward of the hospital. Even though he was sedated, he still kept moaning out "no . . . I didn't mean to . . . no . . . Scott, no!" The doctors had placed him into a medically induced heavy sedation to allow him time to recover mentally, at least from the effects of sleep deprivation. Scott took a seat beside his friend. Despite what Bane had done, he would not abandon him. No, he would stay with his lover. Bane spent three days under sedation before the doctors stopped administering the drugs and let him come out of it naturally. In that time, Scott, Ron, and Dasher had taken turns sitting with Bane. They talked to him, told him it would be ok, and tried to reassure his unconscious body that everything would be good again. Slowly Bane came out of the coma. When he opened his eyes, the first face he focused on and saw was Scott's. Scott gave out a gasp of surprise as the wolf wrapped his arms around him and pulled Scott into the bed, into a desperate hug. "Scott! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry," Bane repeated this over and over again as if Scott would never again forgive him. Bane began to weep into Scott's shoulder. "It's ok Bane, it's ok, just let it out, let it all out", Scott said as he put his arms around his lover and held him tightly. Bane sobbed into his shoulder for a while and then spoke again. "Scott, I just want to let you know that...I love you." This took Scott off guard momentarily. The two had been growing closer and closer but Scott had no idea that Bane had been feeling this way about him. Scott had realized that he might feel that way about Bane, but would never say it aloud to his male lover, in case it might make Bane push him away. That is, he would never admit it, until now. Scott told the wolf in his arms, "I love you too Bane. You had me so worried." "Scott," began Bane, "will you be my mate?" Scott stopped breathing. Tears were running down Scott's face. Could he have heard right? Could Bane have really asked him to be his mate? Before Bane could take back the question, Scott cried out joyfully, "Yes, Bane! I would be honored to be your mate." The two embraced each other. In that moment, nothing else mattered to them. They would become one, they would be joined. But even though they would be mates, they couldn't ignore their friends. Scott knew and was fine with this as he had the same opinion. Dasher and Ron smiled at the two of them from the door of the room. They had turned to leave and Bane stopped them by saying, "You do realize I know the two of you are there right. I can smell you." " Well," began Ron, "we didn't want to disturb you." Ron and Dasher joined Scott and Bane in the room where the four talked. Bane explained what had been happening with him but hadn't realized how bad he had gotten. For that matter, nobody realized it until Scott got the sensors back online. Bane then looked at Dasher. "Dasher, I owe you my life. How can I ever repay you for stopping me from making such a tragic mistake and saving me from myself?" " Bane, you don't have to thank me and never will. I knew you were hurting but I couldn't tell how bad, or how to reach you. I nearly made the mistake of not seeing this and it would have torn me apart too. I was saving all of us, not just you." Tears once again filled Bane's eyes. He would be ok; he had friends who cared for him. He wasn't alone and didn't have to face this by himself. It would still take time for him to recover from the events of the past few weeks, but it would be possible. A new day would dawn and the light would return. He realized that all the times he had failed to pull the trigger wasn't because he didn't lack the courage to kill himself. No, that wasn't the case at all. In fact, it was just the opposite. He had found the courage to live. Now, he would have a bright future. He and Scott would make a life together as best they could. He also had a certain fox and kitty to patch things up with. He had been very unfair to Dasher and Ron and would make it up to them. That would be later though, yes now there would be time enough to make things right again. Now, they would sleep. He wrapped his powerful arms around Scott's chest and nuzzled his maw into the back of Scott's neck. He gave Scott and caring lick and drifted off to sleep. He was content for the first time in weeks. Scott drifted off to sleep with his mate. It felt good for him to finally realize his feelings. Admitting them was good, for himself and for them. He knew his friends would be happy for them. Dasher put his arm around Ron's shoulders and turned him towards the door. As Dasher guided his friend out of the room, he said gently, "I think Scott can take care of things now. They will sleep and when they wake, I am sure they have things to talk about and do. We would just be in the way. Why don't I take you back to your room, my foxy friend? You can use some sleep too, and I don't think you would mind a little company, would you? When we wake, we can talk, have breakfast. . . or maybe? The sly grin Dasher gave Ron, let the fox know what the maybe Dasher had in mind was. Ron blushed slightly but his tail curled around the tall cheetah as he willingly followed.