FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

WARNING: The protagonist gets raped/snuffed in this part of the story, like most of the others.

She stepped out of the bath only reluctantly, when the water cooled and the fluffy drifts of bubbles deteriorated into a crimson stained scum of soap. As she toweled off, all too aware of the growing aches throbbing out through her side and hip, which she'd doubtlessly banged when falling down in the supply closet, she found her eyes drawn to her silver dagger.

It was still in its sheath, thankfully unharmed and still very much present. She'd keep it with her, she decided, no matter what. Never again would she go anywhere unarmed.

Even as she decided that, standing next to the side of the copper washbasin, water dripping from her fur, the sensation of stabbing the Lord Sovereign returned to her, unbidden, in a sort of tactile jolt. The way the blade had sheared through cartilage and come to an abrupt, grating halt against bone. It had been shockingly easy to kill him.

Would that translate to other people? Others who couldn't come back?

Esfir felt vaguely ill even considering that, her tail tucking itself between her legs. Contemplating murder made her feel weirdly guilty. Murder was a sin after all, reserved for...well...

But...

It certainly hadn't stopped the Lord Sovereign's men (most of them, she amended the thought) from killing her over and over again. The knowledge that she was coming back had certainly erased their hesitancies, but they'd still been ending her life all the same.

For a moment Esfir wondered if killing a person who couldn't come back was worse than killing someone like her or the Lord Sovereign, who could. She thought it probably was, but did that mean that her life or lives were worth less than someone without her peculiarity?

She shook her head, not much liking the philosophical route those thoughts were taking her down. Instead she toweled herself off, took her dagger and stepped carefully over the bloodied stone floor of her bathroom, stepping back out into her quarters.

They felt...different somehow, decidedly unsafe. For a moment she listened but couldn't hear anyone outside her door. That relieved her for a moment, then she contemplated just what it meant that potentially anyone in the entire palace could enter her room at will.

Clutching her silver dagger tighter, Esfir stepped into her closet and dressed, ears kept perked the entire time. But though her fur remained instinctively bristled, nobody came into her quarters.

She traipsed to her bed, eyes kept averted from the spot near the base where the two guards had violated her...had that really only been just before supper? How long ago had that been, really?

Esfir sat down atop her bedspread, shoulders slumped. She didn't want to think about any of this, not for a single solitary moment, yet it was all her mind could focus on. There was a curious disconnect between her body, which was scrubbed free of any legacy of the assaults she'd suffered, and her mind, which recalled every bit of each terrible act.

None of it felt quite real in the quiet moments, like it could conceivably have been some twisted nightmare or fever dream. Yet Esfir could see, from the blood streaking the floor of her bathroom and the jagged pool of dried cum staining the carpet near the foot of her bed, that it had all been completely real.

She hoped August and Fedir were able to convince the Lord Sovereign to let them guard her quarters. If she could secure even one place in the palace that would be unambiguously safe for her then that would be a victory. The first real goal in her game of intrigue.

Oh...she still had to decide which nights she'd spend with the Lord Sovereign...

Esfir chewed the inside of one cheek, teeth scoring the tender flesh there, fresh dread constricting her stomach, reigniting the headache lurking behind her eyes.

Hugging her dagger tight, she curled beneath the topmost blanket on her bed and turned out the lights, ears still perked even as she slowly succumbed to her exhaustion.

Esfir snapped awake a few times during the night, certain that something was happening, but the night remained still and peaceful. At some point a guard was posted outside of her door, but they decided not to come inside. Perhaps it was August and Fedir?

Esfir told herself it was, though she barely believed that. Her sleep from that point on was fitful and uneasy, punctuated with brief little nightmares that she found herself trembling and whimpering in the aftermath of, still hugging her silver dagger to her chest.

By the time the pale light of morning came, the sunset pouring through the chained shut doors to her balcony, Esfir felt hardly any more rested than she had before going to bed. Still, her headache had faded and she felt a little less inherently trembly, though she could only wonder how long that would last.

She got up and moved cautiously to the bathroom, where she brushed her teeth and did her morning routine, moving slowly, blinking at the surreality of something so inherently normal lodged right in the middle of a bizarre, nightmarish situation. Her fur was mussed and she brushed it straight and glossy, staring at herself in the mirror for a moment before wondering just what the point was. Surely something terrible would happen to her before the day, or possibly even the morning, was out. She'd be attacked by a guard or maybe the Lord Sovereign, someone would decide to take advantage of her and ruin every bit of the work she'd just put in to straightening her fur and brushing her teeth and combing her whiskers...

And that translated to everything else as well. What was the point of even leaving her bed?

For a moment a tide of hopelessness threatened to drag Esfir out to sea, to submerge her completely. The totality of it frightened her, the sheer ease with which the thoughts came and compounded upon each other. They made total sense, there didn't seem to be any rational way to dispute them.

But rising in contrast was terror. If she gave up, Esfir knew, the Lord Sovereign would kill her, again and again until she simply stopped coming back. And though she didn't especially want to participate in day to day life, Esfir really didn't want to die.

She considered, momentarily, how the heroes in the stories she read were motivated to continue their struggles by grand ideals and bravery and, sometimes, true love. She felt almost a little bad only being tugged along by simple terror, but at least it was something.

Esfir found a belt and threaded her dagger sheath onto it, placing the dagger itself by her thigh. She'd elected to wear pants, if only because she didn't think she'd be able to fight back or run as effectively in a dress. Then she put on a coat, almost as an afterthought, even though it was a fairly warm day. More clothes felt better, like she was putting a shield between herself and the eyes and paws of the many potential assailants lurking outside of her quarters.

That and her coat hid her dagger.

Shuffling in front of her mirror, Esfir smoothed her coat down and walked back and forth, seeing if she could spot the outline of her sheathed dagger. Then she practiced drawing the dagger, over and over again, making sure she was quick and able. If she got a blade out, she thought, it would make them think twice about coming after her.

This exercise made her feel a bit better, even if a familiar sort of dread continued to percolate at the bottom of her stomach. If they didn't stop, and if she had to actually stab someone...

Again she felt ill and had to shut her eyes until the feeling went away.

A knock came at her door. Esfir jumped and shied instinctively back, practically to the back wall of her room. A moment later she heard a voice, muffled by the door.

"The Lord Sovereign approaches." Announced the guard outside her door.

Esfir's blood turned to ice. For a moment she thought of going for her dagger, but that wouldn't do her any good. Even if she did manage to stick the Lord Sovereign, it wouldn't exactly do her any good. She'd have to stand over him and keep on stabbing him forever...and something told her that the guards outside her door wouldn't exactly let her do that.

She stood still, forcing herself to take deep breaths, to smooth her fur back down from the fluffy bristle it had risen into. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her frightened. She was fighting back...right?

Then the door to her quarters was opening, admitting the Lord Sovereign. Esfir caught a glimpse of a lynx, a guard she'd never seen before, then it was closing again, leaving her alone with the Lord Sovereign.

So...it hadn't been August and Fedir after all. Esfir wasn't sure whether she felt relieved that perhaps there were more guards out there who weren't especially interested in abusing her, or even more uncertain (just because the lynx and his unseen companion hadn't gone after her the previous night didn't mean they wouldn't in the future...).

Besides, they weren't the biggest concern right now.

The Lord Sovereign looked over Esfir's room, his eyes lingering momentarily on the blood smeared floor of her bathroom before turning to her.

"It's going to be warm today," he said, "and your schedule gives you time in the gardens this afternoon, are you sure you want to wear that coat?"

Esfir blinked, unsure how to react. Was the Lord Sovereign giving her an order? For a moment she contemplated just taking it off, anything to head off potential trouble between them, but no...she couldn't be weak and submissive anymore. She swallowed hard, saying nothing.

"It's just a question, don't look so afraid," the Lord Sovereign said, mildly amused, "if I was controlling your dress code then I expect you'd be naked but for a collar."

Esfir couldn't hold back a full body shiver at the thought, an unfortunate flashback to the day before. God...had it really been that recent? It felt like the start of the whole nightmare had been weeks or even months in the past.

"...I'm keeping it on." She mumbled, staring hard at the floor just in front of the tiger's toes, unwilling to meet his gaze.

"Did you have visitors last night?" The Lord Sovereign asked.

Esfir took a breath. Was he asking about August and Fedir? She recalled the calico's words to his companion regarding the subject of their visit with her.

"No." She said, shaking her head, keeping her voice as level as possible.

The Lord Sovereign's eyes had once more turned to the blood on the bathroom floor, where, Esfir realized, it looked very much like someone had been lying there for a while...because someone had. Now that Esfir thought about that...

Oh no.

"I could have sworn I heard indications to the contrary." The tiger said with a little smirk, eyes shifting back to Esfir, gaze burning a hole in her.

Esfir took a deep breath, trying to figure out what exactly the Lord Sovereign knew. The way she saw it, there was only one real option. He was simply trying to frighten her, either because he was under the impression that her guards had paid her a visit during the night, or...

Had August and Fedir spoken to him already?

Esfir suddenly realized how that had to look, a pair of guards who he hadn't assigned to Esfir suddenly coming and asking to be placed near her. That, coupled with the smears of blood on the bathroom floor...

For a moment Esfir thought about doubling down on her denial, but had a thought. If it looked like August and Fedir had attacked her, if she went along with the Lord Sovereign's apparent suspicions then it could very well make him more likely to place them as her guards.

He'd promised to play his games with her after all.

Esfir hunched her shoulders and stared at her toes, taking a deep breath, doing all she could to look deeply uncomfortable, which wasn't difficult.

The Lord Sovereign chuckled and looked away, to the morning light streaming in through the reinforced glass of the balcony doors.

"I've decided to be very generous and count last night as one of the three evenings each week you'll be spending with me. I want you to name the other two for me."

Esfir took a deep breath, simultaneously frightened and relieved. So the Lord Sovereign had apparently had enough fun ripping her apart that he'd opted to...

That didn't bode well for future nights.

"...What's today?" Esfir asked, her voice small. She couldn't get her thoughts to work straight, the dread of spending more time with the Lord Sovereign short circuiting her mind.

"Tuesday." The tiger said, padding over to her bed, straightening the blankets there. Him touching her belongings was strangely distressing.

Esfir forced herself to focus. Okay. Tuesday. That gave her another five days before the week was over and the whole mess started up again. For a moment she considered whether spreading the nights out would be better than clustering them together. There were arguments for both approaches, she supposed. If she lined the nights up consecutively then that would give her a longer stretch of uninterrupted time without the Lord Sovereign...but if all of them were as bad as the previous night had been...

She shuddered at the thought.

Of course, spreading the nights out wasn't great either. It would simply give her more time in the week to dread what was coming, even if she'd have time between visits to recover and mentally prepare.

Ugh.

Neither approach was ideal, or even necessarily very good. Esfir ground her teeth, frightened and humiliated that she was even being made to do this. But, as the Lord Sovereign had made very clear, it was the sole condition to her being allowed a chance to fight for her life back.

"Friday and..." Esfir hesitated. Friday was a few days away, that sounded like a good amount of time for her to allow the horrors of the previous night to fade a little before having to do it again, but the other night... "Saturday," she decided at last, "...Friday and Saturday." Her voice was barely audible.

The Lord Sovereign nodded, moving away from Esfir's bed, stepping closer to her instead. The little wolf stiffened but stayed still, even though every instinct she possessed was screaming at her to run. She was staring almost straight down now, heart thrumming in her chest, fur bristled completely up.

He stroked a paw along the side of her face, stroking behind one pinned back ear, Esfir flinching away as he did so. The Lord Sovereign's touch was weirdly gentle, but Esfir could feel the very tip of his claws, just barely out of their sheaths, tickling her skin. A gentle reminder of what he could do.

"I'll be asking you this same question at the beginning of every week," he said, fingers tracing lower, along the side of Esfir's neck, the little wolf remaining perfectly still but for an increasingly pervasive tremble of terror that seemed to shiver her entire body, "...whether you keep your schedule the same each week or decide to change it for the sake of variety...I can promise you that I will always honor it."

As he spoke the tiger moved his other paw to Esfir's side, sliding it slowly down towards her hip...where she'd sheathed her dagger. Esfir tried to go for it, but the Lord Sovereign was quicker, clamping his paw over top of it, trapping Esfir's weapon underneath her coat, baffling the attempt she made to tug it free.

She stared up at him, trembling, all too aware that his claws were right at her throat. But the tiger just nodded, strangely good natured, like he'd confirmed a harmless suspicion.

"If I didn't want you to have this," he said, "I'd have taken it from you. All the same, don't touch it...or else I'll paint this room with your blood." There was menace in his voice, but it wasn't overt. He'd known she had the dagger, Esfir knew that now, he was just offering more conditions, relating to...

He let his paw off her side and slipped it between her legs, Esfir whimpering, her paw remaining where it was, perhaps an inch from the hilt of her silver dagger. Yet, though she knew she could draw it and maybe even jam it into the Lord Sovereign's gut if she was quick enough, she hesitated. He'd kill her if she stabbed him, she knew that. He'd kill her over and over and over again, until every last inch of her quarters was fouled with blood and death.

She trembled in place, tears welling in the corners of her eyes as the Lord Sovereign rubbed between her legs, moving his other paw deliberately down the front of her shirt, popping the buttons off one by one, exposing the silvery fur on her chest.

Her dagger seemed to burn against her side, a well of potential that was doomed to remain untapped. The Lord Sovereign was all but inviting her to stab him, but Esfir knew that she couldn't stand for something like last night's ordeal to happen to her again...not so soon afterwards.

She squeezed her eyes shut and balled her paws into fists, tears running down her face as the Lord Sovereign undressed her fully, keeping her all but pinned against the wall. He undid her belt with deliberate, cruel languidness, settling it carefully atop the pile of discarded clothes, dagger clearly visible. But Esfir didn't rise to the bait, though she badly wanted to.

"I didn't realize until after I sent you away last night," the tiger said, voice husky with lust, "but I never did take you in the midst of all that. I should have. To teach you a lesson."

Esfir gritted her teeth, paws still balled, claws digging into her palms, arms crossed protectively over her chest as the Lord Sovereign undid his pants, thick feline cock bouncing free, already dripping pre.

Esfir took a deep breath, trying to brace herself, but was interrupted by the Lord Sovereign, who grabbed her without warning, all but slamming her against the wall, hard enough to drive the breath from the little wolf's lungs. As he did so he stepped forward, pressing himself against her, pinning the princess in place and forcibly spreading her legs, driving his cock into her tiny slit in one hard thrust.

Esfir screamed, or tried to, all she managed was whimper, her lungs spasming, the back of her head stinging where she'd hit it against the stone. Her legs twitched spasmodically, trying hard to close, to shield her from the pain that rippled up through her pelvis, but they couldn't, the Lord Sovereign was in the way.

He forced himself into her as far as he could go, until his hips met hers and his balls were nestled into the soft white fur at the base of her tail. Esfir found her nose pressed into the striped fur of the Lord Sovereign's shoulder and tried to open her mouth, to bite, but found that she was pressed so hard against the wall that she simply couldn't. Even breathing was all but impossible.

The Lord Sovereign's thrusts were hard and vicious, seemingly designed to cause as much pain as possible. There was anger in there, revenge for the previous night coupled with a seemingly bottomless sadism that Esfir didn't think could ever be fully satisfied. She tried to cry out, to scream uselessly from help, but once more found her lungs empty and spasming, crying desperately for air.

She tried to push the tiger back but her arms were pinned to her own chest, but for her tail Esfir was perfectly paralyzed, and even then she only seemed to be able to wriggle the tip of her tail, a useless gesture of utter helplessness. Warmth dripped down the fluffy length of her tail, blood and pre intermingled, the volume growing as the Lord Sovereign's assault continued. He dug his claws hard into her sides where he was hiding her against the wall, drawing blood, not caring at all about the physical damage he inflicted.

The tiger's breathing grew harder as he continued to fuck her, spots dancing before Esfir's eyes, whimpers and half formed little cries leaking from her throat, borne up from the agony consuming the lower half of her body. The rest of her felt strangely numb, as though every scrap of sensation had been concentrated between her legs, to allow her body to fully account for just how much pain she was in. Tears continued to run down her face, cutting dark tracks in her fur.

"Stop..." She managed to squeak, barely audible.

The Lord Sovereign ignored her completely, taking his pleasure with hard, vicious thrusts that seemed to tear her up more and more with each passing moment, even as his grip on her tightened and his thrusts shortened until he seemed to seize, grinding his length into her as hard as he could, hot spurts of tiger seed jetting into her, dribbling down her tail and staining the wall.

For a long moment the Lord Sovereign simply held her in place, catching his breath, enjoying the feel of his conquest. He slowly eased away from Esfir, allowing the little wolf to fill her lungs, gaze flitting over her distraught, tear stained face.

"I should have fucked you like that last night," he breathed, "but alas...everyone makes mistakes."

He pulled out of her, Esfir whimpering, fresh tears boiling in the corners of her eyes as she was allowed to slump, ignominiously, to the ground. She felt broken, her legs twitchy and unable to support her full weight, a deep seated agony raging where the Lord Sovereign had violated her.

She sniffled, determined not to sob in front of him, though every fiber of her body demanded she simply give in to despair and weep. Her eyes, swimming with tears, landed on her sheathed dagger, resting neatly atop her clothes.

Her paw found it, the Lord Sovereign smiling thinly as he watched her unsheathe it, five inches of silver blade glittering in the morning light.

"I hope that's not meant for-"

Esfir put the tip of the blade to her own throat and, drawing on the pain she felt, the utter despair driven agony, she forced herself to remember that she'd come back. She'd be back in an instant, unharmed and new.

She had just enough time to see the Lord Sovereign's eyes widen ever so slightly before she pushed the blade into her own throat with an incandescent sparkle of pain that turned the entire world white around her.

Then she was on her side, paws flying instinctively to her throat, where she was whole and unharmed. For a half second there was a dreadful sort of disorientation, her mind trying to figure out how she'd so suddenly ended up in such a different position. Esfir scrambled upright, dagger in one paw, banging her knee on the foot of her bed as she did so, wheeling around to face the Lord Sovereign, eyes wide and heart pounding in her chest.

The tiger made no move, just watched her as he finished doing up his pants, some of the satisfaction removed from his face.

"I look forward to Friday," he said, then offered her a shallow, formal little bow, "...your highness."

Esfir couldn't tell if he was mocking her or not, just remained where she was, dagger held tight, as the Lord Sovereign turned and exited her room, body language still tense.

She listened to the door click shut and the Lord Sovereign's footfalls fade, then listened to the silence for several moments more, until she was entirely sure he was gone. Then, slowly, she allowed herself to sink to her knees, a sob working its way loose from deep inside of her.

The place where he'd raped her was stained with blood and cum alike, a feathery spray of crimson printed across the wall from where she'd cut her own throat. Looking down at her dagger, Esfir realized that the blade was coated with blood right unto the hilt.

She set it down and flexed her fingers, trying to take deep breaths. Reflexively, she probed between her legs, but of course everything there was physically okay, even if she still thought she could feel the legacy of the Lord Sovereign's assault inside of her still, a psychic scar manifesting almost physically.

That had been bad. She hoped it was a one off, that he would leave her alone until Friday, but somehow she doubted that.

God...and she hadn't even gone for her dagger. Even if she'd apparently shocked him a little at the end, that wasn't nearly the same as fighting back. For a moment Esfir wondered if stabbing the Lord Sovereign might have been better, but couldn't help but recall his words, his wish that he'd fucked her during the previous night's bloodbath.

No...he'd have simply recreated those wishes right here in her own room. Of all the terrible options, Esfir realized that she'd very probably picked the least bad one. There simply hadn't been a way to get through that situation without being violated.

She took another deep breath, forcing her heart to slow and the lingering phantom sensations to fade. She was alright, she told herself, the bad stuff was over for now.

Slowly, she picked herself up and found her clothes again, putting her pants back on and finding a different shirt. Dressing was beginning to feel like a chore, but Esfir did it anyway, bundling herself under the most concealing coat she could find.

It was a bit warm, but she felt slightly safer with it on and buttoned up. This time she didn't bother hiding her dagger, simply cinching the belt over the boat, her weapon in plain sight. There was no point trying for the element of surprise, she decided.

For a moment she contemplated peeking out into the hallway through the keyhole of her door, but the mere thought of going close to the door, where she could so easily be snatched by the guards outside (though...these ones hadn't bothered her yet) put a chill through her.

Instead she went to the bathroom and wet a cloth, cleaning the blood from the floor as best she could, wiping the blade of her dagger clean and generally trying to return as many things to normal as she could. With the bathroom somewhat cleaned up, she shut the door and locked it, sinking to the floor once more and trying to remain as calm as she could.

She was okay. She was alright. The bad stuff was over and done with. She was okay...

The mantra seemed false and unconvincing, almost aggravating the fear she felt. There was still the rest of the day to deal with, Esfir knew. The Lord Sovereign had mentioned her schedule, so...

In her old life she'd have gone for classes, then some leisure time, then...

She didn't want to think about any of that. It simply hurt too much.

Esfir hugged her knees to her chest and sniffled miserably, fresh tears welling in her eyes. She didn't know what to do, that seemed to be about the shape of things. No matter what sort of action she seemed to take, there was still terrible stuff around every corner, fresh outrages ready to be piled onto her already overburdened mind and soul.

It had been a full day since the Lord Sovereign had come and already she'd been gang raped and abused and killed...

All that in a day.

She couldn't imagine what fresh horrors the next days would bring...yet they were coming at her no matter what she did. And if she showed weakness, if she shut down and refused to play the Lord Sovereign's twisted game then she'd meet her end, one way or another...

Outside, Esfir heard the door to her quarters operand jolted upright, grabbing for her dagger, fur bristling. Had the guards from outside decided to come in and attack her at last?

She backed silently away from the bathroom door. There was a lock on it, but it was small and easily picked. Once they realized she was inside it wouldn't take them much effort to get through it.

"Esfir?" A voice called softly from outside.

Fir blinked, her guard dropping slightly.

Though it was muffled by the door, she could recognize Fedir.

The little wolf nearly collapsed with relief, padding back over to the bathroom door and opening it a few inches, peering cautiously out to where August and Fedir were standing just short of the door, expressions disconcerted. They were staring at the blood fanned across the far wall, Esfir realized.

As she watched, Fedir shakily shut the door, the dog clearly ill at ease.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concerned gaze landing on Esfir.

She managed a faint nod. It was really the only thing to do, even if she really felt like bursting into tears and simply never stopping.

"The Lord Sovereign?" August asked, the calico's tone stiff with barely contained anger. For a moment Esfir felt weirdly nervous, but knew that August was upset at the tiger, not her.

She stepped out from the bathroom, still moving cautiously, gingerly, though she knew she didn't have any physical injuries.

"...Did he say yes?" She asked in lieu of an answer to August's question.

The calico nodded. Behind his tenseness and anger, Esfir could see, was a deep-seated nervous fear that only seemed to be dissipating slowly, if at all. He let out a breath.

"A few minutes ago," he said, "...we're only your guards two days a week, Esfir...the Lord Sovereign is rotating between different people."

Oh.

Oh no.

As much as that news dismayed her, Esfir forced herself to look on the bright side. Two days per week spent in the company of friendly people was better than zero, even if it still left a big gulf of unknown space in her life.

"If he said yes to us," Fedir added, "then the people guarding you on the other days might be alright too." He smiled hopefully.

Esfir winced, shoulders slumping.

"...What?" The dog asked.

"He thinks you...um...last night..." Her gaze went downcast.

The dog and calico exchanged a look, horrified but not entirely surprised.

"No..." Fedir groaned, ears pinning back, dismayed.

"You have pretend like you did." Esfir said.

"We do," August agreed, voice grim, "or else the Lord Sovereign will replace us."

Esfir took a deep breath, almost a little surprised by just how uneasy the prospect of pretending to have violated her was making the two men before her. It wasn't like they had actually done the deed.

Fedir, though clearly reluctant, began to nod before suddenly hesitating.

"But...how would we pretend?"

August blinked.

"Come into my room," Esfir suggested, "just...stay here for a bit each night." She glanced between August and Fedir, both of whom seemed satisfied with that course of action.

"We'll do it before you fall asleep," Fedir promised, "so we don't disturb you."

Esfir sat down on her bed, still consciously avoiding looking at the blood splashed on her wall. There was crimson speckled on her bedspread too, she realized. The whole room would need a thorough cleaning, though she expected that the Lord Sovereign had probably already called for one. It didn't seem to be his style to let things get too terrible and messy.

"We're to guard you today and tomorrow," August said after a moment, tearing his eyes away from the bloodied stretch of wall, body language still stiff and tense, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, "...I don't believe we have a schedule in place, so...is there anything you'd like to do?"

Esfir blinked, then supposed that if August and Fedir had only been approved for guard duty a few minutes before their arrival they probably wouldn't know anything about her leisure schedule or classes...or anything, really.

For a moment she thought about doing things normally and going to etiquette...but she'd never liked etiquette classes in the best of times, and right now the whole concept of polite interaction seemed incredibly useless.

"The gardens." She decided.

Fedir and August flanked her as she walked through the palace. Though Esfir still felt tense and wary, she was quite conscious that this was quite possibly the first time since the Lord Sovereign had first come that she'd been safe in public. It felt nice.

They arrived in the gardens a few moments later, Esfir opting to go into the hedges, which looked to be abandoned but for a few gardeners busily trimming the shaped hedges that flanked the entrance to the garden's little maze.

Calling it a maze was generous in Esfir's view, there were really only a few turns and no way to get seriously lost, but when she'd been small (well...small_er_) she'd adored the place. Now it felt private and hidden, a spot for her to be away from the prying eyes of the Lord Sovereign and his men.

"We aren't gonna get lost in here, are we?" August asked, a touch uneasily, as Esfir stepped through the entrance.

She shook her head, feeling a bit better now, the terror and despair from earlier somewhat receded.

"It's small," she reassured the calico, "and there's a clearing in the middle with a gazebo."

She led them through the little maze, almost by simple muscle memory, and out into the central spread, Fedir smiling gently at the sight of the gazebo, varnished a deep, almost burnt red. A table flanked by wire picnic chairs sat under it, shaded from the bright early morning sun. Around them, droplets of dew sparkled on the grass like a hundred thousand tiny jewels.

As they sat down, Esfir on one side of the table, Fedir and August on the other, the calico's eyes found her. They'd never really left, Esfir could feel him watching her while they walked, but now he made his gaze obvious.

"I know Fedir asked already," he said, "but are you okay?"

Esfir opened her mouth to answer a reflexive 'yes', but hesitated, unsure if she ought to be burying the trauma of what had just happened. Even if the physical pain of it all had been purged, even if her body was alright...

Esfir sniffled, wiping hard at her eyes with the back of one paw as tears welled up. For a moment she felt ashamed of herself, she shouldn't be crying in front of commoners, but she couldn't really think of herself in royal context anymore, or of August and Fedir in common context. They were all just people, her and them alike. They didn't look down on her for being as sullied and beaten as she was, so why should she...

Ugh.

She didn't want to think about this.

She didn't want to think about anything.

Fedir and August exchanged a look, then got up and shifted their chairs around to the other side of the table, sitting down on either side of Esfir. Fedir reached slowly out, making sure that Esfir could see him doing so, and put a comforting paw on her shoulder.

"It'll be okay." He said, voice warm and optimistic, as reassuring as he could possibly be.

August took Esfir's paw and held it gently between his, leaning close to her, saying nothing.

The three of them stayed like that for a long while, until Esfir's tears dried and she felt a little better. By then the sunrise had faded and the dew had dried from the grass.

"Should we go back?" August asked.

"Just a little longer." Esfir said. She felt safe like this, and didn't want the moment to end.