Fade to Black: a sad story.
All characters are copyright LostinTrepidation. This story has nothing to do with the Metallica song of the same name. Or the Von Krieger story. I'm just very unoriginal when it comes to names.
Fade to Black
May 1st, 20XX
The silence in the room was almost tangible as the last bit of sound from their whisper disipaited. As if the world itself held its breath as time ground a halt. The tension in the atmosphere seemed inappropriate for the decor. The room screamed cute little girl's bedroom. A half open closet was filled with stylish clothes and things were decorated with a feminine touch. The soul occupant sat hunched over on the edge of the bed. After what felt like hours a soft sobbing started to echo off the pink walls. Slowly and deliberately the lone figure raised their head to peer into a dark mahogany vanity. Dull tear stained eyes met a weary reflection and a glint of silver shimmer next to them. The feminine rabbit studied themself in the mirror, the beautiful white dress that showed a devolping body and complimented a vibrant white fur. Carefully they picked up small 22 caliber pistol and held it in shaky paws. With an audiable gulp they held the small pistol over their heart. A soft squeak followed with a pop. They fell back and the dress began to stain red with blood. Not long after, their last gasping breath was heard only by the walls and the room was once again silent. Moments later a calico colored Cat burst into the room.
My name is Rita 'Robert' Jennings, and today is my birthday. It is also the day I died.
April 26th, 20XX
"Hey, Rita!" A smiling Wolf exclaimed. I turned my head to see Mark, my childhood friend and chemistry lab partner. "Morning Mark, what's up?" I asked as he jogged to catch up. "I wanted to let you know I'm skipping class today," he said with cheshire grin. I studied him for a second, something was off and I had no idea what. He looked the same: broad chest, half tucked designer shirt, nice sneakers, clean jeans, short wavy blond hair. "Somethings different about you today... And why are you skipping class?" I finally asked a curious look on my face. I nervously twiddled the toe of one of my mary janes waiting for him to answer. He puffed up his chest and he started to laugh. "I did it," was all he said and I finally understood. "No... Really, you... I can't believe it," I barely managed to say. "That's right, I finally lost IT," Mark said as he looked at his watch, "And Professor Tobs might lose something else if neither of us show up, you've two minutes to get to class Hop-a-long." Normally I would have been mad at the
nickname, but today I smiled and dashed off to class. I barely made it to class, curse long skirts,
juggling a purse and two books. I straighted my blouse and everything after I finally got seated.
Class drug on forever being the only one working on the lab assignment. Professor Tobs, an aging Badger really didn't seem to believe my excuse for Mark being absent, but he said he would give me an extra day to complete all the work. Not that I needed it, the only reason any lab took the entire hour and twenty-five minutes was that I needed to check or redo Mark's work. Tobs smiled at me as I left two minutes late, but completely done with the lab. "I will see you next week, tell Mark he should show up as well," Professor Tobs said with a big laugh as we parted ways. I went to the ladies room and my face turned red as I looked in the mirror. Now I knew why Tobs was laughing, I was a wreck. I straighted my brown shoulder length wig on my head, so the part wasn't to some strange angle. I added more pins for good measure and re-aligned my B cup falsies in my bra. After that I touched up my make-up and stopped to think for a moment, deciding to actually go to the bathroom. I assituated myself on the toilet and was ever so thankful for the new method of tucking that I didn't have to undo to go to the bathroom. Pulling my white panties snug, I double checked everything: from shoe laces to blouse buttons. With a final push up on my bra I left the bathroom with a smile. The news Mark gave me finally sinking in, my friend was no longer a virgin. I wanted to hug whoever she was, Mark was a really sweet guy and I hoped he wouldn't stay a virgin all through freshman year of college.
That night I lay on my pink comforter and giggled. The little text box on the laptop screen next to me blinked with my various friend's replies to my story about how my appearance after Chemistry. I looked at the Facebook in the background of my chatting and saw Mark update his status to 'No longer a Virgin' and that three hundred people liked it. Finished with chatting I went up to my beautiful vanity, the only peice of funriture I had left to remember my Mother by. I cleaned up for bed and looked at my sleek frame in the mirror. My hips were slightly wide, since I began hormones just after puberty started, though I would never have true womanly hips it would be hard pressed for someone to notice with out touching. I cupped my barely budding breasts, knowing that the doctor said that it would be a while before they came in and to be patient. I placed my wig on the stand and looked at my short black hair. Lastly I took out my green contacts and saw the traces of Robert bleed through. I turned quickly and shut off my laptop, snuggling into bed.
April 27th, 20xx
"Good MORNING, Sleepy head," a sing song voice called out from my doorway. My reply was a prolonged 'Meh' and to turn over. The owner of the voice quickly ripped the bed sheets and comforter off of the bed with a more forceful, "UP!" I barely had time to cover myself and I heard a very stern, "You know the rules young lady! No sleeping in the nude." I opened my eyes to see a very irate Calico Cat in her late thirties looming over me. Under a hot gaze and to the angry tapping of a house slipper on hardwood floor I dressed myself. "Miss Jennings, you of all people should have a firm grasp on Haven's rules by now," the Cat said through clenched teeth. I looked at the ground, "I'm sorry Ms. Allister." "You know the drill, take all the clothes in the room to the laudry to be inspected, then get ready for the nurse to check you," Ms. Allister said coldly. My gaze never left the floor as I collected all my clothing up in a hamper. With teary eyes I started to shuffle out of my room. I felt a soft paw on my shoulder, looking up I saw Ms. Allister's face soften a tiny bit. "I know you would never have sex on Haven's grounds, but I would not be doing my job as floor director if I didn't enforce all the rules," she said quietly. Nodding softly I made my way down the hall, all the other girls on the floor must have heard Ms. Allister shouting. Such a big rukus was raised, many hadn't finished getting ready or dressed. I received a collection of looks, ranging from a accusitory to smug acknowledgment. Looking back down the hall as I boarded the elevator, I saw Ms. Allister, dressed in her pink robe clossing and locking my door.
Noon had come and gone by the time I was cleared to go back to my room. There were no traces of any kind of sex, DNA, or drugs on my clothing or myself. I pulled on some light pink socks, dark brown pants, soft green blouse, and put in some earings. Standing in front of my vanity I watched Robert disappear completely, replaced by Rita. As I left the building from the commons area, I heard chatter from the Equines and some of the Avians. I frowned softly at the new amount of negative attention I would receive because of this morning. I stood in the courtyard and looked up at the large two winged, five floor building named Haven. It really was a Haven, it catered to LGBT persons who had a problem of some kind, whether it was drugs, prostitution, parole, being abandonded, violent spouse or family member, depression, frequent hospitalization, or what ever else you could think of. They rescued me from the hospital when my father killed my mother and almost killed me. Since I was a rescue, my past was kept a secret from the other people in the Haven. This allowed rumors to fly around. Sighing heavily I made my way to campus, I had nothing better to do on a Saturday.
After finishing all of my class work for the up comming week I decided to visit Mark up at his dorm. I put my stuff in a day locker and trecked across campus to the dorm section. I padded slowly along the halls of the dorms, my cotton tail shaking teasingly at the eyes that I knew were glued to me. When I reached Mark's door, I knocked softly. "Come in Rita," Mark called from in the room. I entered and looked at him with a puzzled look, "How did you know it was me?" Mark laughed and stepped from the kitchen, standing in the buff holding a pan, "I could smell you." I discreetly enjoyed the view and sat on his couch, "BS, and even you can't convince yourself of that." "Alright, you are the only person aside from my lady friend who knocks, let alone comes into my room," Mark finally said after reentering the kitchen and resuming cleaning the dishes. "Is that because you clean in the nude or because you BS so much they can't talk to you," I asked. He laughed heartily but remained silent. Mark's nudity had little effect on me, we grew up as little boys together, suffice to say we've seen eachother nude. Plus after some cautious experimentation we learned a lot from eachother. Mainly that I loved men sexually and he did not. I turned on his XBox 360 and started in on Battlefield: Bad Comapny 2. "How did you know it wasn't your lady friend at the door," I asked after settling in and joining an online game. Mark flopped down next to me on his couch, "She just left an hour before you got here." I became a tad uneasy and Mark hammed it up. I didn't smell sex on him or that a woman had been in the room. Mark must have known I was trying to smell the room cause he said, "We didn't have sex, she stopped by to show me her new breasts." I blinked rapidly and the little character on the screen died. "She got breast implants," Mark laughed at my shocked face, "and not bcause I told her to either, she just wanted to feel more sexy. She was going to get them before she met me." Mark and I chatted the night away. He bragged about his girlfriend, but shyed away from specific details. Before I could get anything more from him other than species, white tailed Deer, my curfew at Haven creeped up.
Once again I squeaked by, almost checking in at the front desk late. I had to undergo yet another inspection, simply for my violation of the rules this morning. I went through my nightly ritual, this time not forgeting my night clothes. I stared deep into Robert's grey eyes for what seemed like forever. Then all the lights were turned off by the timer and I layed down to sleep.
April 28, 20xx
I took the liberty of not only waking up on time but getting ready as well. I dressed in a plain white sundress and white shoes. Pulling my wig in a loose ponytail, I finished getting ready for chapel just as my door opened. "Good Morning," I said cheerfully. "Good Morning Miss Jennings, ready for Service," I heard an unfamiliar voice ask. I turned to see not the motherly figure that I had grown used to in my year at Haven, instead I saw male Cat. "Who are you," I asked nervously, Ms. Allister was supposed to be the only person with keys to the rooms on this floor. The man laughed and suddenly it all came into focus. The man I saw was Ms. Allister, some of the color on her head was washed out with fur dye, but the face remained roughly the same. "Small sacrifices Miss Jennings, small sacrifices," Ms. Allister said. She took my hand and we went to the bus that would charter us to the Chapel.
The Service at the Chapel was held by a guest Ministry. Our young, handsome, LGBT friendly Coyote Minister just happened to be traveling and was being replaced by a more traditional group from another branch. A white headed black Bear stood at the pulpit and railed against Homosexuality, Transgenderism and most specifically the Haven. It took all of my strength to sit still, let alone not shed tears. I held tightly to Ms. Allister's hand. A few others from the Haven that attended Chapel rose and quietly left. As they left they were cursed by the guest Ministry. Foul names like Sodomite, Betrayer, and Faggot echoed in the hallowed walls, and it was Ms. Allister's turn to clench at my hand. She whispered so quietly that I could not hear what she said, but I knew she did not approve of such language anywhere, especially on Church grounds. What I saw next broke my heart. An elderly Rabbit took the pulpit, followed by a people holding up signs. I recognized her as my Grandmother. On those signs were pictures of my family: my Mother laying in a pool of blood with 'Burning In Hell' writ beneath it, a picture of Robert dressed in his Sunday's best with 'Tainted' and 'Sodomite' written across him and finally my Father in a suit, the photograph taken just before his breakdown, with 'Free Gordon' plastered all along the sign. My Grandmother ranted and raved for the next thirty minutes about how my Mother was a Lesbian and a Whore. She went on to say about how my Mother made me into a Sodomite, by allowing me to dress like her. That her son was rightious and doing God's will by attempting to kill us.
We left the moment the Service ended. Not even bothering with the bus, Ms. Allister hailed us a cab and we sped home to Haven. All the ride home Ms. Allister comforted me, she held me close and whispered encouragement in my ear. When we arrived at the Haven, I went straight to my room. I turned everything off, locked my door and curled up in the bed. In the darkness of my room I was completely alone, and I cried till I fell asleep.
April 29, 20xx
I sat, wrapped in a towel, waiting my turn for the showers. I averted my eyes as person in the shower area walked out not wearing a towel. "What's a matter hunny," a drawled asked, "don't the like what you see?" I glanced up in time to see a pair of cream and light tan breasts shoved in my face. "Get those out of my face," I shouted and I pushed the offender away. "Hey! Bitch! These are brand new," they exclaimed as they pushed back, knocking me to the ground. I looked up at the person I was arguing with. Standing over me was Evan, a Doe-Boy who lived in Haven as part of his probation. I rose to my feet and started to walk away. "We're not done yet," Evan yelled as he grabben my towel and ripped it off, "I bet you are just jealous cause I've got 'em and you don't!" "What's your problem," I screamed, "you're supposed to be covered when coming out of the showers! It's not like everyone wants to see your body!" Evan slapped me, "People pay good money to see this body!" I clenched my fists, "Isn't going back to your old tricks a violation of the rules?" Evan started hitting me. "What are you in here for huh? What is it bitch," Evan yelled as we fell to the ground, Evan striking me in the chest and neck. It wasn't long before Ms. Allister and some of the others help arrived and pulled Evan off of me.
I was allowed to shower down stairs after giving my statement. The police carted Evan in for formal questioning. One of the officers said that Evan might have to serve real time, if he really had been prostituting again. Ms. Allister and Mr. Morgan, an old Fox and the head of the Haven, approached me as I finished dressing myself. "Miss Jennings, I'm sorry for what happened," Mr. Morgan began, "not only the incident this morning, but the demonstration at Chapel as well." Ms. Allister put a hand on my shoulder and nodded solemnly. "I understand that you are under a certain amount of stress, to be fair, and that you might not have started the fight in the showes," Mr. Morgan continued, "but we feel it best if you stay in the Haven today and perhaps even talk to the Counselor." "But I have school," I started to say. "We understand, and if you have any work due we will take it in for you. We will also pick up any assignments you may have. We've already contacted the school, if that's alright," the Fox said, his dark suit seeming ever more imposing to me. I looked at the clock, it had barely been thirty minutes since the fight started. Mr. Morgan understood my confusion, "The Ministry group that your Grandmother belongs to will be on campus today, we felt it in your best interest to keep you here." I nodded solemnly and Ms. Allister led me quietly back up to my room.
I spent the rest of my day working on school work and chatting away on the internet. It seemed things were rough all around the world today. One of my friends sent me a streaming link to the Ministry led on by my Grandmother, not knowing my relation. Soon all of my friends in were buzzing it up in one way or another. I felt so very exposed when one of them asked me if they remembered my male name correctly. The next thing I knew a link to my facebook was made and both encouraging and harrasing posts were made on my wall. I turned everything off and one again cried my night away.
April 30
I woke extra early and prepared myself for the day at hand. I avoided all the cliques amongst the other Haven residents by using the downstairs restroom near the Nurses office and depositing my night clothes directly in the laudry room. I needed a friend so badly, Mark had to stood up for me last night online so I made my way to his dorm. I knocked quietly on his door when I arrived. He opened the door, glaring at me, tears streaming down his face. "Why did you do it," he asked amid sobs. "Why did I do what," I asked back reaching out to him. He pushed my arm away and gritted his teeth. "YOU SENT MY GIRLFRIEND TO JAIL," he screamed, "she managed to place a second call this morning to let me know she was in jail!" I stood agast, not sure what to think. "Evan, Evan from Haven was your girlfriend," I barely managed to ask. "IS MY GIRLFRIEND, AND IT'S YVAN YOU BITCH," Mark yelled as he through a punch at me. I dodged the punch by moving back into the hall. "I didn't send her to prison, she broke her parole," I gasped out. "Liar," Mark weezed as he tried to punch at me more. "I swear, she bragged about people paying to see her body," I said as I blocked punches and dodged more as he threw them. "That was all behind her," Mark gasped out, hyperventilating in the hall way. I moved to help him up, but he shoved me away again. "Get away from me," was the last thing he said to me. People started to crowd in and I managed to leave the dorms with out to much more of a scene.
I felt eyes on me all day, their stares drilling right to my very core. I picked up a flyer, floating along in the breeze. It had a very recent picture of me on it. I was in my wig and green contacts in. Scrawled all over it was 'WHORE' and 'SODOMITE'. I tried to brush it off and threw it into the trash can. All through my classes I could hear the whispers about me, maybe they wanted me to hear them, I'll never know. I was holding it together till a Wolf from Mark's dorm stopped me near the cafeteria. "What's your problem," he asked. I blinked at him and turn to walk away. He grabbed my arm, spinning me around. "I asked you what your problem was," he asked again, "why did you have to hurt Mark so much?" I stayed quiet while he glared at me. "Are you that jealous of Yvan, is it cause she's a real woman," he asked. "She lived at Haven too, you know, on my floor," I said uneasily, "she is a woman, just like me in every way." The Wolf's faced turned red, "You are no woman, you just jammed her up cause you are jealous! Now you're lying about her!" This time a crowd formed around us and I couldn't escape as quickly as before. Soon tens of voices were screaming at me. I ran as fast as I could, people grabbing at me. One of them got my purse, another my wig.
I fell once I made into Haven's front doors. Security outside dispersing the small mob that had chased me all the way home. Soon I was surrounded again, this time by Evan's friends from his clique. They didn't say anything or push me around, but the look in their eyes told me everything. I felt the hate seeping off of them. I went up to my room and opened a secret draw on my vanity.
It was dark out, I had snuck out past Ms. Allister and made my way into town. I walked up to a figure in a trench coat. "What you looking for little lady," he asked, his accent thick but I couldn't place it. "I need a gun," I said quiety, "with bullets." He scoffed, "Why you need a gun?" I shuffled around a bit and produced a wad of cash, "Do you really need to know?" "This 22 would look good on you," he said, producing the small fire arm. I handed him the cash and checked the gun for bullets. "Ah ah," he tossed a bag out to the side and held up a gun of his own, "bullets in bag, wait till I gone." Slowly he made his way deep into the alley. I picked up the bag and went back to Haven. I tucked the gun down my pants, stuffing the bullets in my bra. I barely made it past security with my two recent purchases.
In my room I loaded the gun and set it on the bed. I slipped out of my clothing, slipping into a beautiful white dress. This dress was the last thing my Mother bought me. I smiled and remembered how my Mother teased about she would have to go buy another one cause I filled out to much. It still fit like a dream. the lights went out on the timer and I sat on my bed, waiting. I looked over to my cell phone, the time read, '12:01'. I whispered happy birthday.