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"The Gift", Kon's Story: Kotomi

copyright comidacomida 2018

The late nineteenth century through the early twentieth century was a pretty chaotic time in

Japan and the shogunate, which had been strong for more than two hundred years, was weakening.

There were famines and the peasants started getting restless; government revenues fell; samurai

were paid so poorly most of them had to get second jobs. I don't know if you know much about

military philosophy, but rule number one is "Pay your warriors well.". Once the western nations

forced their way into the once-isolationist country of Japan and the armies turned against the

shogunate. The Boshin War lasted less than two years, but it changed everything.

After the end of the war the Emperor was given back power and his family moved to Edo, which is

where my family called home; it was renamed 'Tokyo', which is what people know it as today.

Emperor Meiji, the 122nd emperor of Japan was really more of a figurehead than anything else; he

was only 15 at the time. The real power in the government came from former samurai who had put

themselves into positions of leadership in the new government, and it was during that period,

from the late 19th century and into the early 20th that Japan started to Westernize. It was

also the time when spirits and spirituality in Japan began to decline. Shinto became the

national religion, but, by that point, it was as much about compliance as belief.

But the focus of my story goes back to the beginning of the Meiji Period, when there was so much

chaos that a Yokai like me had little trouble finding spirit energy. I was proud of my Amethyst

eyes, and had few qualms about taking what I wanted from whom I wanted. Yokai were powerful and

humans were right to be fearful of us. We were given sacrifices to calm us, gifts to placate

us, and offerings to appeal to us for aid. I had expected to exemplify the stuff of a Purple

Inner Light for ages, but not even we Yokai can see the future.

I don't like to dwell in the past; I prefer looking forward to the future. Sometimes, though,

moments from the past stick with me and they're harder to escape than a hunter's snare. You

asked me once about the time I had Sapphire eyes and I said it wasn't important because it'd

never happen again. It's been over a hundred years and it still hurts. Her name was Kotomi,

and she was the youngest daughter of a powerful Kitsune mochi-- a great family in Japan that

paid homage to a powerful Fox Yokai: me.

While we Yokai don't always choose to honor our agreements, being invited into a family where we

could be honored and cared for is a rare opportunity so it's not something I'd willingly pass

up. When a particularly powerful family extends that honor... well... let's say that such a

family accepted me as their benefactor. The family? I can't say-- they are not mine anymore

and I am not theirs, so I can never speak their name again. They turned their back on me and I

did the same; they are dead to me now, and I to them.

I had Golden eyes at that time, a mark of distinction among Yokai and, regardless of how much I

loved my Amethyst light, Yellow was a sign of nobility and I wore mine proudly. The spirit

energy given to me by my family made me strong. They gave me more than I needed and all that I

wanted, allowing me to give back to them. with me as their spirit the family grew even more

powerful; I gave them wealth, political clout, and prosperity. The one thing the family lacked,

though, was a Seer. Despite all of their power, far too few of them had what it took to

actually hear me and understand what I most desired. That ended with Kotomi.

I remember when Kotomi was born. She was little and sickly, the third daughter of the fifth

generation heir to the family's lands. Although none thought she would live long I made sure to

prove them wrong; there was something special about Kotomi and I knew it from a young age. The

family hadn't had a Seer in three generations, but Kotomi-- whenever I was in the room her eyes

were always on me. At first, all I could think about was how things would change for me; with a

mouth piece I'd finally be able to make my desires known. I would be able to get whatever I

wanted whenever I wanted it from my humans! As she grew, though, not only did my outlook

change, but my wants did as well.

I had never felt a connection with a human before and it took me years to realize what it was we

shared. There was something different about Kotomi; her family said it all the time, but I don'

think they could appreciate it as much as I could. She barely ever spoke a word to anyone...

except me. As she grew older, Kotomi was always proper and polite to the other children; she

said what she was supposed to and took part in activities as was expected of her, but her heart

did not sit with her fellow mortals. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I had become her best

friend... and she, mine. She was also the only human who ever gave me a proper name. She

called me Haru, and she gave me more than any other member of her household: her friendship...

her heart... her virginity.

Kotomi had always been a respectful and obedient daughter but, having a Yokai for a friend also

meant that she learned a little bit of disobedience. Regardless, she never let that show until

the day her father came to us. Well, he technically came to her, but we were in the middle of a

game of Go, so that meant he came to us. Go is a board game that had originated in China but

crossed the sea some thirteen centuries-or-so before Kotomi's birth and she'd taken great joy in

teaching it to me; I'd considered it 'our game' ever since. Anyway, the Lord of the house made

his presence known with a haughty "Kotomi, attend your father."

She stood up from the game, apologizing to me with a subtle bow before shuffling over to where

her father waited and she offered him a far deep bow. "I am here for you, Father."

Kotomi's father was never a man to mince words or speak indirectly. "I have plans to see you

wed by this season's end. You may embrace me in thanks."

I was so surprised by the sudden decision that I Pushed, knocking the game board over as I

stood. "No!"

Both of them looked back toward me; I knew that her father only saw the fallen game but her eyes

were on me; she had an unspoken question in her gaze but it was the Lord who spoke. "You will

be learning how to be a proper wife so you may please your husband and bring honor to our home

and his."

Her eyes stayed on me as she did the unthinkable: she questioned the Lord. "Father... if I

marry then I will no longer be part of this house."

I nodded in agreement. "Tell him that you cannot leave this family. The house's Yokai does not

wish it."

It was the first time we had ever discussed her gift with the intention of sharing it. I was

greedy and wanted her all to myself but, I realized, if we said nothing then there would be no

convincing the Lord of the house to abandon his foolish idea of marrying off my cherished

Kotomi. She was so surprised by my suggestion that she spoke to me with her father there. "Are

you sure?"

He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't realize she wasn't speaking to him. "It

is not your place to question your father, child. Yes. You are to be married and you should be

thankful to be given this opportunity to serve your family."

I approached the two of them, reaching out so I could rest my paw on her shoulder for support.

"Tell him, Kotomi. If he sends you off to be married then you will have to leave and I cannot

go with you."

She reached up to grasp my fingers with hers; I gave her strength in the same way she gave it to

me. "Father... Haru does not want me to leave."

The Lord of the house's neutral expression dissolved like a dropped spirit belonging and was

replaced by the kind of scowl you'd see on an oni mask. "You are too old to play with imaginary

friends, Kotomi. It is time you grow up and become a wife."

His push-back gave her almost as much strength as my paw. "Father, Haru is not imaginary. Ours

is a Kitsune mochi, and Haru is our Kitsuni."

If I thought the Lord of the house was unhappy at her objection to being married then he became

outright enraged when she told him what I asked her to say. "How dare you, insolent child? You

dishonor our family by bending the stories to your foolish whims!"

I've always been one to answer anger with anger. "Tell him I said his father always favored his

brother Eiji."

Kotomi looked at me with bewilderment on her face; I'd never spoken of ancestors to her. The

Lord of the house took her askance of me as an outward dismissal of him since she turned away

and he slapped her with the back of his hand. "You will not disrespect your father in this way,

Kotomi!"

To her credit, Kotomi didn't raise her hand to where he'd struck her but, she looked right back

at him and gave him my message. "Haru told me to tell you that grandfather always favored your

brother Eiji more than you."

If any message would have worked on the Lord of the house then it would have been that one, and

it did. He stepped back as if his daughter herself were a Yokai threatening to possess him.

"What? How do you know about Eiji? He died years before I had even taken your mother as my

wife! Nobody in this house knows about--"

I have never been a clean fighter, and, taking advantage of the situation, I figured it was time

to twist the knife. "Kotomi, tell him that he THOUGHT nobody knew, but the family's Yokai knows

everything. I was there."

She trusted me, and did just that. "Father, Haru says he knows, because he was there."

Kotomi knew nothing more than I told her, so I can imagine what must have been going through her

mind when she saw her father go pale and quickly stumble out of the room. I didn't tell her

that her father had killed his brother because she didn't need to know that; the Lord of the

house was still her father and was still in charge so there would have been nothing to gain by

tarnishing her opinion of him. Looking back, though, I wish I had.

Waiting until the door closed behind her father, Kotomi looked back at me and my victory was cut

short; there were tears in her eyes and I knew she was in pain. More than any other human I had

met, Kotomi was led by her heart. She felt others' pain as surely as if she were the one

suffering and, despite how gentle I had been in dismissing her father, I had still done enough

damage to leave him reeling. For what was probably the first time in my existence I felt bad

for what I'd done. Pulling her to me, I rested my muzzle against her cheek and said something

I'd never thought I'd say: Gomen'nasai-- I'm sorry.

At first I'd expected her to pull away but she actually tightened her arms around me. "I don't

want father to be angry with me, but I don't want him to separate us."

Humans and spirits are made of different stuff, but where we overlap is in emotions; humans feel

them strongly and, when they do, they are able to feel us. The much rarer connection is when a

spirit feels those emotions too, and in moments like that we aren't as different as we might

seem. That embrace was the first time I really TRULY ever felt a human. Sure, I'd touched

people before and I'd touched; during the Heian period alone I sired over thirty children with

human women-- but never before that moment had I really understood what it was to feel someone

in a way that mattered.

It was the only time in my life when I wasn't sure if it was alright to kiss the object of my

affection but, as my muzzle met her lips all of that uncertainty washed away; not only did she

meet me half way, she returned it without any sense of inhibition. I don't know how long I held

her in my arms but when our lips finally parted she whispered a single word: my name.

"Haru..."

I've never heard so much in two syllables, and her voice carried with it far more unspoken than

said. Even thinking about it now sends a shiver up my spine in the most amazing way, like, if I

tried hard enough, I could almost feel it strongly enough to create my own spirit energy. That

may not mean much to a human, but there's no claim more unbelievable than that... and the way

Kotomi made me feel was THAT amazing. I followed up my apology with another thing I never

thought I'd be able to say honestly. "I love you, Kotomi."

She stared up into my eyes even as I stared down into hers and I watched a smile brighten her

face like the sun lights the sky at dawn. She reached up and brushed my mane away from my face.

"Haru... your eyes... they're--"

My heart broke in that moment; only once she brought it to my attention did I realize just how

much damage I must have done pitting her against her father. I had injured the family I had

been sworn to protect; I wasn't a Guardian anymore; I was a threat. I closed them, unwilling to

let her see me like that. "Red... I--"

Her hand felt warm against my cheek. "The most beautiful blue I've ever seen..."

The statement caught me completely by surprise, and so did her follow-up kiss. I had heard

stories of Spirits with Sapphire eyes-- Spirits who had forsaken everything it meant to be a

Spirit. They stepped away from humanity as a whole, choosing one and only one human with whom

they would make a connection that, as the stories told, gave them everything they needed to be

whole. I had never believed it, of course, but as I felt her body press up against mine and her

soft, supple lips caress my muzzle I needed no further proof; I wanted no other human. I needed

no other human. Kotomi was my everything.

My breath came out quickly when our lips parted, almost as if I'd run from one side of town to

the other without stopping. Still, somehow, I managed to speak. "Say you'll be mine, Kotomi...

say it, and I am yours."

She smiled, a gleam of something that had always been there in her eyes suddenly that much more

noticeable, and she threw herself against me again, laughing as she did so before declaring

"Forever, Haru... forever."

There was no doubt in my mind what she was offering and, even if there was, the moment I felt

her fingers around my back carefully undoing my obi, even the smallest lingering sense of

uncertainty left me. She was willing to give me more of herself than she ever had; she was

going to give me everything. For the first time in my long existence I actually hesitated.

"Kotomi, you don't have to--"

She silenced me with a kiss and, as my sash fell away she spoke, our lips still touching. "That

is why it is my Gift to you."

With my kimono open, I let her take in as much of me as she desired with her eyes. I have never

been a bashful spirit but I had gone to great lengths to remain suitable in her presence her

entire life; such modesty ended that night. I watched with rapt attention as she smiled, the

expression one of mixed joy and anticipating along with a little embarrassment as she stepped

back and reached behind herself to loosen her own sash. A moment later she exhaled, and then

shrugged; her robe fell to the floor, leaving her completely naked and me completely enraptured

at the sight of her.

Kotomi stepped closer again, one hand reaching out for my paw, and the other for my shoulder.

Have you ever held something light and delicate and worried that you might break it? That was

how it felt when our fingers entwined-- like Kotomi was a feather, or a snowflake, or a dew

covered spider web. She was beautiful, and she was shivering. I pulled her close gently, head

swimming when I felt her bare flesh against my fur. Her right hand remained entwined with my

left paw, but her left caressed my thigh, and then delved inward to explore my more intimate

parts; I did not resist, and closed my eyes in pure joy, trilling out my pleasure as her fingers

worked their way through my groin fur.

She spoke softly, giving my paw a squeeze as she cupped my sac, making my fur stand on end with

her touch. "I... do not know what to do, Haru..."

I wrapped an arm around the small of her back and held her to me, breasts pressed into my chest

as I brushed my nose against her earlobe and spoke softly. "I will do everything, my Kotomi...

you need only tell me when to start, and if I should stop."

A shiver went through her as well and she buried her face against the fur of my neck. "Do not

stop, Haru... ever."

Despite my sudden reservations at something I wanted so very badly that soft quivering of her

body against mine made me want it all the more. Regardless, I wasn't willing to go any further

without boundaries, and providing her the warning. She was, after all, a virgin. "It... may

hurt, at first, beloved... if I hurt you--"

She pulled back, her soft face shining like the moon as her eyes sparkled up at me. "You will

not hurt me, Haru... I trust you."

I let her draw away, taking the opportunity to calm myself down and collect my thoughts. Very

few humans had ever found a reason to trust a Yokai and fewer tried, but not Kotomi; she was

mine, and I was hers. I didn't want to risk that trust, and so I was honest-- as honest as I

had ever been.

Taking her other hand in my other paw I spoke softly but directly. "Kotomi, I am going to-- to

be inside you. You have not done this before. I will be as gentle as I can, but... but it may

hurt, and you may bleed. I do not want you to fear this, or to worry, but I also want you to

know before we begin."

As straight forward and calmly as I'd tried to explain it I saw a hint of surprise and alarm in

her face. To her credit, she hid it well and I wasn't sure whether that made me feel better or

worse. Her fingers gripped my paws more tightly, and slowly led me to her sleeping mat. "I

trust you, Haru... and I want this. Please."

Although I didn't resist her lead I, nevertheless, spoke my mind. "As do I, my Kotomi... more

than it is safe to... more than anything. That is why I am worried I may hurt you."

She turned back in my direction, slowly lowering herself onto the cloth mat and taking me with

her. Her suggestion was far easier said than done. "Then do not hurt me."

I didn't want her to sense my reservations, not when she was already so worried, so I simply

nodded, and let her take me to the floor with her. As she laid back, however, I came to rest on

my forepaws, disengaging them from her hands as I leaned forward to kiss her belly button. From

there, I licked her abdomen, nuzzling my way lower. The sound of her breath catching in her

throat as my nose worked its way lower still was one of the sexiest things I have heard in my

centuries and, even now I can hear it in my mind and it gives me the shivers.

Kotomi was exquisite in all ways-- the lurid little squeak that escaped her lips when my tongue

lapped at her entrance; the heavy breath flowing out of her as I delved deeper; the taste of her

as she responded to my ministrations; the feel of her hands gripping my ears, fingers wriggling

against my fur as she began to squirm; the scent of her, not just from the source but all over

the fur of my muzzle. The sounds of her, the feel of her, the sight of her, the smell... the

taste-- A-a! Tottemo yokatta!

By the time I pulled back, licking my lips I was so hard it was almost painful. I'd had sex

with many humans over the centuries-- men or women, it didn't matter... but Kotomi was the first

and only time I did so because there was something between us-- something more than simple lust.

I moved my body upward until I was hovering over her, one paw resting against her sleeping mat

on either side of her face. I gazed down at Kotomi and she gazed up at me; I saw her smile--

and she nodded.

I propped myself up on one arm as I sought out her hand with my other paw. "If you are in any

pain, just squeeze."

My Kotomi took hold of my paw but, rather than address my concern, she said something else. "Ai

shiteru."

I had told her I had loved her, but when she whispered those words back to me I knew for certain

that I was not just deluding myself: we had something, and it was something I hadn't realized

how desperately I wanted-- or needed. There was no more hesitation and no more waiting. She

was a virgin, but the time I spent easier her into it made a difference; her juices and my

saliva made it easier to enter her. She gasped, mouth and eyes opening wide as her breath

stopped; she gripped my paw tightly and I smelled blood.

In that moment I immediately questioned my decision but, a second later, her grip slackened and

her body relaxed just enough that she closed her eyes, breath escaping through her lips. I saw

tears in the corners of her eyes, but her expression turned into a faint smile, and she

whispered the words "Is... that it?"

I smiled back down at her and touched my nose to hers. "The worst of it, I believe. Are... you

alright?"

Her response almost seemed contrived, but I realized that she wasn't capable of such

misdirection. "With you? Always."

Our lips met again and I simply held her. Perhaps it sounds strange to be in the middle of sex and

stopping to kiss, but it was something I realized I would do every chance I got, no matter what. As

my muzzle pulled back from her mouth I asked permission with a single expression and she smiled,

providing it with a nod, and the word all spirits needed to truly be free to do as they would. "Yes."

I willingly accepted.

I am by no means exceptionally well endowed. I mean, I'm not tiny, or small, or even the lower side

of average, but it's not a monster either-- unless you count the knot, which isn't something most

humans have any experience handling. What I mean to say is that I was able to be careful with my

beloved Kotomi without having to be so gentle that it was a distraction. I was mindful of her, but I

was able to enjoy myself-- I was able to enjoy her.

There is something about joining with a human in such a way that no other experience could possibly

offer-- to be so in tune with a mortal that they could just as easily be as solid as a spirit to me. I

don't mind saying that I miss it. She was my one true love, and I was blessed in that she loved me

back. What began as me guiding her in the art of lovemaking transitioned once she found her way

and, as our time together progressed she was soon meeting me half-way; her hands explored my

body and she moved in time with me, contributing to the experience for the both of us.

Sadly, such bliss could not last forever. For spirits, the art of joining physically with a human in a

sexual way creates an incredible high for us as we directly absorb all of the spirit energy a human

creates at such a time. The experience is euphoric for us throughout in the way that an orgasm is for

a human at the end. For us, I'll just gloat a little, we get the double enjoyment of the happy ending

because our human partners release an even larger pulse of spirit energy and, well, there's the

physical enjoyment spirits get out of it too.

With Kotomi, though, there was more to it; for that split second, as she and I reached the end of our

journeys in unison, for a singular moment, it almost felt like I had a soul too-- like I was able to

experience what it meant to a human in the way they did. It was beautiful, and it was amazing, and

it was something I will cherish for my entire existence. Coming down off that sensation was one of

the hardest things to do and I tried to grab onto it and hold it close; in the end, the most I could

accomplish was to do that physically with my beloved Kotomi-- and apologize to her regarding the

aforementioned knot. For better or for worse, at the very least, it meant that neither of us were

going anywhere for a time.

Even after we'd separated we were inseparable. Kotomi, at her father's orders had been confined

to her room, but we didn't care; we had each other. Although things had changed greatly between

us they still remained the same. We spent every day together, basking in one another's company

and thriving in our new-found love. She touched me as often as I touched her and, though I did

not sleep, when she slept I was with her, watching her as she dreamed, silently thanking

whatever Kami had blessed us with such great fortune as I reveled in what it meant to be so

close to my beloved.

Kotomi and I spent the time as we always had but, she also took up a new hobby: she carved a

small white wood statuette-- a Netskue. It was a little fox with its tail wrapped around to

cover its forepaws. She had made a Totem, and had dedicated it to me so that we would always be

together, even if the needs of the family called me away from her. I was overjoyed, and readily

accepted the gift, telling her I would find a way to repay her a thousand fold for her kindness

and her love. She had no doubt that I would, and told me that I was already off to a wonderful

start.

She became my whole world and I willingly ignored everything outside of her room in favor of

making her my all. Kotomi, in turn, never faltered and never swayed in her attention, giving

all of it and all of herself to me. Our happiness only increased one day as she sat on her

padded stool and held her mirror up so she could watch as I brushed her hair. It was in that

moment that I saw my reflection for the first time.

Spirits cannot see our own reflections in mirrors and, in fact, we do not have reflections

because we do not exist as humans do. Yet, there are rare times in which we become material

enough to do so, and I had no doubt in my mind what it meant. Kneeling down beside my beloved

Kotomi, I reached out a paw and gripped the hand she used to hold the mirror, rotating it until

both of our faces appeared in the glass, and that was when I told her. "Kotomi, my soul... we

will have a child."

Her happiness mirrored my own, and we embraced. The rest of the world could be damned for all I

I cared: everything I never knew I wanted was there in my arms. Oh, I'd had offspring, that

much I knew, but I never cared for them or the women who had born them-- Kotomi was different.

She was my beloved. She was my heart. She was, as I had called her, my soul. As happy as we

were at that moment, however, it would not last. No-- I was taught so very clearly that the

more a Yokai had, the more they had to lose... and I lost it all.

It was two days after we discovered that Kotomi would bear my child when her father returned and

he brought with him two holy men. His words were direct and to the point. "She is possessed.

Do not listen to anything she says. Drive out the Yokai."

Oh, I could go into details about what they did to my Kotomi, but just thinking about it hurts

enough. For nearly twenty hours they subjected her to such horrors designed to push a

possessing spirit from a mortal's body-- some of them even worked, or so I'd heard, but the main

difference between those cases and what they did to my dearest was plain: she was not possessed.

There was no spirit to cast out... there was just Kotomi. I stood there the whole time, unable

to do anything because, despite all of the power given to me by the family, I could not act

against them, and I could not risk drawing energy off of my beloved lest it cause her that much

more pain... so I did nothing.

I continued to do nothing but offer her what consolation I could, and promises that the pain

would end and I would be there to comfort her and care for her. I told her how the two of us

could escape-- we would run away. Even though she would leave her family behind I would be with

her. We would start a new family. We would make our own way in the world and I would every

last bit of my power to give her and our child the life that they both deserved. They were

lies, and I knew them even as I said them, but I was helpless to offer anything but hope.

I wouldn't be able to provide for her if I turned from her family. I wouldn't be able to

comfort her and support her in her times of need. Despite how much a Spirit might want to be

everything a human needed, we can't-- that is not what we do. But Yokai... we lie. We are good

at lying... so good that I was almost able to believe them myself-- I certainly wanted to. She

smiled through it all, of course, when she wasn't screaming, or coughing, or crying. Throughout

it all, her eyes always returned to me and, I think, in some small way, it helped her make it as

long as she did... up until the final cleansing.

The priests, so ardent in their desire to banish a spirit from Kotomi, were so active that they

had to take turns administering treatment. When one exhausted himself the second would step in,

but there was no rest for my Soul-- she was forced to weather everything. In the end, the final

attempt to free her of spirit possession was to hang her over smoldering pine branches upside

down. The folklore said that either the possessing spirit would flee the body, or else the

possessed would suffocate, and their soul would be free of the possession.

I shouted; I screamed; I cried. I was so distraught I couldn't concentrate enough to Push, or Pull, or

Tear. I raged around the room, trying in vain to think of something I could to do end the torture

that her father was inflicting on her. I wanted to help, but I couldn't do anything to harm the

family I was sworn to protect. I had to protect Kotomi, but how could I protect her from her own

father? The priest! I realized I could hurt the priest, but, again, despite my power I was only one

spirit, and, despite how horrific and barbaric the rituals were, there was some amount of truth in

them, and I could do nothing to affect the monster. At that time, I was pulled from the chaos of my

mind by Kotomi's pain.

So entwined were we that I could count her heartbeats as they sped up. She began struggling,

coughing as her eyes watered. Kotomi had long since lost the ability to make any sound. I

still remember her hanging upside down in that thick column of smoke... but... no-- there's no

sense saying anything more. When she finally stopped struggling it was not because a spirit had

left her body, rather, it was her soul. Something died that day within me, as surely as our

child had within her. Only as her body went slack did I watch her fox Netskue fall down to join

the rest of the smoldering wood in the pit beneath her.

My life felt as though it had ended and, truthfully, my time as a Guardian Spirit certainly did.

I had feared that forsaking the family for my connection to only one daughter would mean that I

would lose my entire connection, but it had not. I had worried that speaking ill of Kotomi's father

and embarrassing him in front of her had cost me my hard-won Amber Inner Light, but it did not.

When my eyes had turned Sapphire I had first thought that they had gone red but, no, they did not

do that until my beloved Kotomi was needlessly put to death by her petty father... that was the

moment when I realized just how horrible Humans really were; it was then that I swore revenge.

Every drop of spirit energy the family had given me, to that point, had gone back into making

them powerful, wealthy, successful, and strong. I was a powerful Guardian Spirit for that

family but, as I stood there, seething in rage, vowing that I would not let the lord of the home

get away with yet another murder-- a murder of MY Kotomi, all of that power-- all of that energy

and that force was suddenly used in a different manner. I turned my fury on the family and,

having spent so long as the family's Spirit Guardian, I knew how to hurt them.

I became their enemy and, without a Spirit Guardian, that Kitsune mochi crumbled. Pushing them

to ruin wasn't enough for me, and I continued to hammer away at them over the course of the next

two decades, until they were ground so far into the dirt that they would never recover. To this

day they suffer the effects of Kotomi's father's decision, and you will find them nowhere in

Japan, nowhere on this earth, and nowhere in the history books. I gained my power from their

hardships, their lamentations and their pain. Once they were all destroyed, I realized that I

would willing and readily to pass into nothingness.

I would have no reason to exist, a Guardian Spirit whose Golden Inner Light had turned Ruby. My

whole purpose was to destroy those who had taken my Kotomi from me and, once that was done, I

walked the world, waiting for the rest of my energy to fade into nothing. Certainly, I found

small little snippets of power, just enough to keep me going. I tried several times to resist

but hunger does strange things to Spirits. I continued hating humans, enjoying every chance I

could get to feast on their suffering.

For decades my opinion of humankind remained unchanged and I wished them nothing but the worst

in life and existence. One day, however, in a strange, random-act of kindness from a teenage

mortal, I began to wonder if perhaps this new human... this 'Daniel', might be able to prove me

wrong. Realizing that there would be no great loss in trying, I forestalled punishing him and

willingly opened myself up to seeing where it would go. Of course, that didn't mean I wouldn't at

least test him... I AM a Yokai, after all... it's what I do.