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I spent the whole lesson nervous of the sharp knives even with Akio's gentleness, but at least if he asked me why I was twitchy I could have said it was that. Not how I was imagining him putting me to sleep like he had Colton, stroking my nose like a father figure and reading me some bedtime story for grown ups but done in that relaxed, soporific voice. Then I was imagining lying in front of Colton while he put both of us to sleep and feeling Colton's boner poking at my pyjama pants.

It's fine, I told myself. Fantasize all you want. Just do not ask him to make it come true. And calm these thoughts down before you go stiff and he sees and this turns into the most misguided cookery lesson you ever had.

It wasn't until we were eating that he said what I'd been waiting for. 'You don't have to be nervous about being here, Todd. I could sense it before you even got here. You're afraid of reminding me too much of Deke. But you're actually not like him. When you stand still, you sometimes look like him, but everything else just tells me you're you.'

'Well...thanks I guess,' I said, still trying to master the chopsticks. I'd never picked up a pair in my life.

'Like this,' Akio said, showing me how to adjust my grip and relax it a little more.

I managed it, and he smiled, then looked reflective. 'The day your father shouted at you when you came out. I don't believe his story about how he felt like he was looking at Deke instead. I'm sorry, but I don't. It was an excuse. He's probably convinced himself it's true, but I don't see the evidence of it. I'm glad. I did wonder what having you here would feel like. So I tried it. And you'd have been welcome to stay even if you had reminded me more of Deke. Because even when the past's that powerful, there are certain temptations even an old pervert like me doesn't give in to.'

'I never thought you would,' I said. 'I barely even know you.'

Akio tipped his bowl and took another mouthful of noodles, swallowed, sipped his rice wine and then said 'You know what I once told Deke?'

'What?'

'Lies don't work when they come from such a nice face.'

'So which statement was the lie?'

Akio put his sticks down across the bowl. '_Now_you remind me of him. And don't stand your sticks up in the bowl. Bad luck. I told him that too.'

'Sorry.'

'Oh, superstitious BS mostly. I just liked how he did it more every time I pointed Japan's quirks out to him. I told him he shouldn't move things with his feet. First he started making a big show of relaxing onto the sofa and pushing the footstool further away. Then my coffee tables. Then he tried learning how to pick everything up with them like a monkey. Shall we make some Daifuku balls?'

'Make what?'

'Daifuku balls. They're balls of sweet azuki paste wrapped in rice dough. I'm afraid we're not so good on deserts, the Japanese, but we do our best. We're not like you Americans who seem to know how to combine every sweet flavour going and make it mountain sized.' All this spoken with an American accent, no hint of anything foreign in it.

'Can you still speak Japanese?' I asked.

Akio replied in it, an amused look on his face. 'Of course I can. What do you think I relied on when my art wasn't selling so well? I'm a translator too. A sought after one. I work from home but sometimes I might as well be working in all the world's capital cities at once, when I get busy. And have you ever read Haruki Murakami in English?'

'Erm....I don't exactly read much,' I said. 'And when I do it's usually SFF. That guy doesn't sound like sci-fi or fantasy.'

'Oh don't be so sure.'

'I've always wanted to try learning Japanese though. Could you maybe teach me a bit? If you'll have me here for long enough that we get time.'

I hadn't intended it as a fish, but I knew I'd caught something anyway from the way Akio stopped getting dishes and ingredients out and seemed to think for a moment. 'Perhaps,' he said. 'If you really_want to learn it and not make it another hobby you forget about as soon as I'm not there to remind you. That's what today's youth does now, isn't it? A new interest all the time. Apart from you and your sports, of course. _That's staying power.'

So Deke was learning it from him. That had to be it. You didn't ask someone to teach you a language that complex unless you were just like me and having a flight of fancy, or you saw a much longer future with the person who might appreciate it. Why did I already have the feeling Deke was the latter? Maybe Akio was right: I really was nothing like him. How much staying power had Deke had, with this wolf?

More importantly, who else was he with that led him to the fate that cut it all short? What might it have been like if he'd lived, and were still in this house today, sharing this table in my place, or perhaps even with me?

'I think you'd appreciate a good story,' Akio said. 'So let me give you one you can enjoy in more than one way. If you get my meaning. Come outside with me.'

We went out into his back yard, twice the size of the front with palm trees. A hammock swung gently in the breeze between two of them.

'When Deke first came here, there wasn't room for him. This place was a commune. Ten artists who all dreamed of record contracts, or being the next Dali or Picasso or Hockney, none of us had much money but together, we bought this place, back when it was a shithole and we tried to make it vaguely respectable. Then along came Deke.' Akio smiled, then sniggered softly. 'He fucked his way into this place. That's why we took him even though there wasn't room. He was always hot for someone and he didn't care who else watched and jerked off. And he knew a couple of good dealers. We were his best customers before he kicked back up the chain. Then when we told him we didn't have room for him, he started offering something just that little bit better for free. There was nothing Deke wouldn't do. You may have a hard time believing it, but that's why I stopped him.'

'You stopped him. From having sex.'

'There's having fun, and pushing the boundaries. Then there's lowering yourself. And I could see that all Deke wanted was a home that was a little bit better than a crack den, where people just about stayed on the functioning side of wasted. So I said for God's sake guys, he's just another fur like us, not a live sex toy. And we can put a hammock in the back yard for him. And get a tarp put up in those trees for when it rains. And that was it. Deke slept outside.'

I surely wasn't going to do this. Seriously. Me? Bashful, shy Todd Aldrington who'd never had nor really wanted a crazy adventure in his life? But I was doing it. I was lying down in the hammock where my late uncle had once slept, right under the same trees, the same stars, and waiting for a father-figure wolf to come and do whatever he was going to do. Because an old pervert didn't have to resist if I let him know it was fine.

'Is this the same hammock?'

'No, it's new. I bought it not long after you said you wanted to come and see me. I thought you'd like a little history brought to life.'

I lay there and closed my eyes and waited. Nothing. I opened them again, and when I saw him still looking at me in the same way, everything came to life inside me. I rolled over slightly, hunching my knees up a little. 'You don't have to be nervous around me either,' I said. 'You can pretend I'm him if you want to. Or I'll just be me.'

Akio slowly came over, knelt down, and put a hand on my head, stroking between my ears. 'I don't want you to be Deke for me,' he said. 'And this is as much as I'm going to do to you. I promised you, even I have boundaries. But do feel free to enjoy this. What would your father think, if he knew you were in Deke's spot and I was rubbing your head?'

I couldn't answer for a moment, I was too busy purring. And the answer didn't matter anyway. I had my hand in my pants, adjusting my cock for comfort, and Akio rubbed my head a little bit harder. 'Here's a story for you to purr through, you foolish young raccoon. Let's see if you last until the best part before you come.' Akio smiled lustfully, but I knew he wasn't thinking about me. It didn't matter. Akio put his nose close to my ear and dropped his voice slightly.

'Deke fell in love with me because I gave him a home. I stopped him having to fulfil everyone else's dirty fantasies. But this hammock, right here? It was alright until it rained. And that tarp I put up for him didn't work. It just collected the water until one of the strings snapped and it soaked him. Head to foot, he was just wringing wet. And he came inside and got a towel from my room where I was still awake and I watched him dry himself off, totally naked. And then he asked if he could warm up with me. I said okay. So he got into my bed. Then I let him stay, once he was warm.

'I was almost falling asleep, and then he started cuddling me. Then he put his legs around mine and I felt his erection poke my pants up inside me. And I told him "Deke, I can feel your boner, you horny little Southpaw. They really do make hung raccoons down there." And he cuddled me tighter and I felt his excited heartbeat and he whispered 'I really want you.' And I really wanted him too. So I let him take my pants down and I told him the smell of wet raccoon was making me wet, and he touched my cock and found I was as hard as he was, and when he came I knew it was going to be a tidal wave. And I remember him panting. Deke was a panter. He didn't purr. He panted like fucking me and running for his life were the same thing. He liked how I growled. The deeper he got the more I did it. And then he said "Bark for me, 'Kio." And after the barking, I was panting, in time with him. And right before we came together, he took a real deep breath and held it, and then said "Howl for me, 'Kio," in that deep accent of his And you should have heard how I howled for that raccoon.'

I filled my pants with Akio still stroking my head, my purring now deep breaths and gasps.

'Bet you never had a history lesson like that before,' Akio said. 'Thirty years, and I never had another fuck like Deke Aldrington, the wet raccoon from the hammock who wanted a home. See, you _couldn't_be him for me, even if you were an actor. But I'm sure he'd love to know I paid him forward for you. And you've clearly got a tidal wave of your own down there to clean up after.'

I laughed, wondering how a street in a place like this was so quiet that it sounded like I was filling a concert hall, and I just didn't care.

'Gonna tell your fox about that?'

'I'll_pay it forward_ for him as well when I do. He'll totally get it.'

'I wouldn't have done it if I didn't already know that,' Akio said.

So that's what his little dinner table exercise three days ago had been testing us for. Tolerances.

'Deke was a smoker. He always had Luckys. He rolled over and lit one and said "That's what you call a howl, 'Kio. I bet you woke half the neighbourhood."'

I couldn't help myself, I mimed lighting up and copied the line in the best imitation of a deep south voice as I could manage. I sounded like my father. Even that didn't spoil the moment. 'He called you 'Kio?'

'Yeah, he did. "Those things'll kill you one day, Deke." That's what I used to tell him.' For a moment I wondered if I genuinely had triggered some sort of regression need he was unable to resist. Just as quickly, he said 'Seeing as you're smarter than your uncle was, how about some coffee? Oh yeah, and we never made our Daifuku balls. Still hungry?'

* * *

As if I needed him to be, Colton was awake, and in the kitchen asking for coffee, and pulling me out of the sea of big thoughts.

'If you must have that habit, Mr Fox, kindly take it outside,' Akio said as Colton put a cigarette in his mouth, only to find he'd lost his zippo somewhere down the cushions of Akio's couch. He still looked a little too zoned out to do much about it. Akio gave him a box of matches and said he'd brew the coffee, and we ended up drinking it outside together.

'Hey Colton,' I said. 'You remember that promise we made too each other, about how if there was ever a spur of the moment thing?'

He was still a little slow, but when he got it it was like he'd shot a line of something that speeded him right back up. 'Todd, you did not...._did you? With _him?' He looked at me, then at Akio, and the grip on his cup went so weak that Akio just about took it from him before he could drop it. My turn to almost piss my pants laughing.

'It wasn't sex,' I said. 'Just an erotic story in that hammock over there. At best I guess you could call it an assisted hand job. If you don't believe me you can put your hands in my pants, seeing as you're the reason I haven't had time to clean up. But I'd better warn you, it'll be all cold now. Not sure that's your thing.'

Colton shook his head, almost stupefied. 'Two nights in this place and already you're a gross little dirtbag. Go change your pants, for God's sake!' He took his coffee back from Akio. 'And you, stop playing with his head already. I'm the one who has to deal with what happens when he gets ideas in it.' He sipped his coffee, then licked his lips and adjusted his pants. 'What was the story?'

'It was about how Deke came to live here,' I said.

Colton waited. 'And that's it?'

'Yep. That's it.' Akio and I exchanged a smile.

'Oh, I see.' Colton said. 'Fine.' He took another slurp of coffee. 'So Akio, I keep meaning to ask, what's your secret? To looking like you're young enough just to be Todd's dad and not his grandfather.'

'Apart from the species difference?' Akio said. 'Exercise.'

'So you run?'

'Among other things, yes. Why? Do you think you could win a race with me?'

'How about 5K? Has San Fran got one of those runs where you all get together and race the clock and then scan a barcode?'

Akio nodded. 'I do it every Saturday. Not as fast as I used to but I still bet I could make you two cubs work to stay ahead. You're on, fox.'

I knew a challenge like that somehow probably would be Colton's funeral. Probably why even then, I still forgot the bet. And failed to notice how Akio surely knew there was something else behind what Colton was doing.

* * *

One Week Later

'Some hotshot doctor told me to take it easy last month,' Akio said, after catching his breath on the finish line.

We were still waiting for Colton.

'So how about that? 21:58. Five K in that time, from a wolf of 72. Doctors. When will they ever learn? Apparently I've got arthritis in my right hip. I said it's about damn time. And it's nothing a little of the sweet leaf won't relieve, so he could keep all the nasty stuff on that prescription pad that won't even make my frontal lobes twitch, let alone react. Where's fox pants? Do you suppose all those cigarettes finally gave him a heart attack?' He looked at his watch. 'I'm sorry, that wasn't so funny. Do you think he's alright?'

'Fox pants. I like that. What time have you got? We won't see him before twenty six thirty at least. And that was his time before we went on this trip and it's like he's...'

'Here he comes.'

'What? Nah, it can't be.'

It was. Colton arrived over the finish line looking like he'd taken a bath rather than gone running, and his lungs sounding like a broken church organ.

'Not bad, Mr Fox,' Akio said. 'Don't sit on your ass, stand up and let those lungs work properly.' He helped Colton stay standing. 'Here.' he offered a water bottle. 'Nice and slowly. I told you about how hot this place gets even first thing in the...' Akio had jumped back, to avoid the deluge as Colton puked towards his trainers. Concerned he was choking, Akio helped him with a few slaps on the back. 'There you go, all out of your system now?'

'What time did you stop your watch at?' Colton said, realising he'd forgotten to stop his after crossing the line.

'24:52,' Akio said. 'PB?'

'Oh hell yeah!' Colton said.

I shook my head. 'You just got your ass kicked by a wolf fifty-four years older than you.'

'I don't care,' Colton said, putting an arm around me and hugging me, his left hand over my heart. 'Know why?'

'Because finally you're a good sport about losing?'

He pointed at Akio's watch. 'Read it and weep, raccoon. Sub-25. Now you owe me your secret.'

'What secr.....ooooh shit.'

Now I remembered.

'Oh?' Akio said. 'Well what's this then? You mean you made a bet with a fox? Didn't your parents teach you anything?'

'You do not want me to answer that with everything my dad tried to teach me about wolves. And my mum...when Colton hears this story he'll know why I tell people never to get me started on her either.'

'So it was you mum! I always knew it!'

'Now I'm _really_curious,' Akio said. 'What exactly is the bet you two made?'

'The night we were first....together,' Colton said, at least having the sense to drop his voice as we moved away from the crowds. 'I asked him how he discovered... something he likes doing. Know what he said?'

Akio tipped his head. 'All ears.'

'I told him he didn't get to know everything about me just because he stuffed my butt.' It still put a smile on Colton's face when I said it.

'Well quite right,' Akio said. 'Let me see if I can guess. Your concern for his health made you use it as a motivational tool. If he got himself at least passably fit, he got your story. Good work. And now you have to honour the bet, of course. And somehow the origin of this fetish begins with your mother?'

'It doesn't start with her at all,' I said. 'The fox is a jackass. Makes me wonder what his mum's done to him before.'

Colton flipped me the bird with his right hand, still hugging me and tickling my ribcage with his left.

'My mum just...' forget it. I wasn't explaining this now. 'You probably know this. Everyone's mum knows stuff about them they wish she didn't. Mine just happened to excel herself this one time.'

'Oh yes. I really wouldn't be shocked if she had_schooled you in fetishes somehow. 72 years and many, _many lovers, remember. Including your uncle. And if you can beat those quirks then I'll really know you're his second chance at life.'

This was getting way too deep, and way too serious, and Akio had the look of a man who could have this kind of conversation anywhere and nobody around him would be surprised. The whole of San Francisco probably said 'There goes Akio' and meant 'There goes the wolf who's had it all and done it all and somehow he's still here telling us about it.'

God, get me out of here! Why now? Why this much complex history to add to my own, stupid and embarrassing story? I wasn't going to act embarrassed now though. At least I'd come that far since my relationship with Colton began.

'It's for my fox's ears only, Akio. Sorry. I know you told me that hot story about Deke and all, but...' but what? Would Akio actually like the story a little bit too much for my comfort? He wouldn't be surprised. He'd probably be twitching with pleasure, maybe imagining Deke where I had once been.

'Oh that's quite alright,' he said. 'That's just what I knew you'd say. You two save it for later then and enjoy it all. I'll get out of the house later and give you some time together. And congratulations on your time,' he said to Colton. 'Keep your lifestyle going and by the time you're my age you might even go sub-24.'

'And you don't get that story until it's official,' I said, knowing that I was stalling for time. Sure enough, when we both got the email with our official times on it, Colton congratulated me on my 16:48 (a slow time for me that already had me worrying about how fit I was going to be when I hit the NY College sports scene in September) and said 'The wolf's gone grocery shopping. You need a drink before you tell me then?'