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Deke's gravestone was brand new, marble white with black lettering spelling his name, and a quote underneath it. 'You were going you way, I was going mine.' Akio looked at it for a moment, then at me.

'I know that one,' I said. 'It was on that CD last night.'

'You were asleep when that one came on,' Akio said. 'You think maybe your Dad played it?'

'I don't kn...yeah. Yeah, I've heard Dad play that. Loads of times. It's called 'Taken At All, isn't it? That another CSN song?'

'CSN and Y,' Akio said. 'They had Neil Young on that one.'

I knew it was going to sound wrong in my voice, but I couldn't help it. "This is me, can you take another look?"

'That's it,' Akio said. "Did I see you looking blindly at your book...is that all you thought, that you thought it took, can it be taaaaken, taken at all.''

Akio sounded like he was struggling to get it out. I started the next voice. After another two lines he found it. He sang the harmony part when we got to "Looooost it on the hiiiiighwaaay, you were out of sight," then the words that were on Deke's headstone. When we finished, Akio stared into space for a moment, then took a couple of steps forward.

'Hi Deke,' he said. 'Did you hear us?'

Oh man. I got it now, and now I was tearing up, trying not to, because compared to Akio what right did I have? It was Deke's favourite song. That's why I knew it. Because my father had played it over and over again when I was a kid. He'd never forgotten about Deke at all.

'I'm sorry I haven't been here for a while,' Akio said. 'But I brought someone here to see you. This is Todd. He's your nephew, or did you guess already because he's you in blue? Except he's not you. But he came all the way out here because he wanted to know about you. I dunno why anyone would want to do that, you asshole.' He smiled, then sighed, then just stood there, not like he'd run out of things to say, but just that something was stopping him saying them.

That's when I knew he was right about me: I really was a foolish young raccoon. Because I was putting my arm around the old man.

'Now_that's_ something you would have done,' Akio said, putting his arm around my back and his hand on my left shoulder. He was looking at Deke's headstone, still. 'That's why I loved you. That's why I forgive you for, all of it. The last time I came here...it wasn't the nicest of occasions, was it? I said quite a lot of things I wish I hadn't. So I've come to say I'm sorry. I know you'd say it too. But I've gotta add something. I'm sorry I never took you home like you wanted. I'm sorry you're not buried under the trees. I had to have one last fight with you where I felt like I won. Where I felt like saying "You can't hit me this time."

'I know the second time would have been your last. I can still hear Colby asking you what would happen if I lost my eye. You really_did hit me. And then you really did look like that picture I drew of you last night. I told your nephew here it was after the Colby killing himself thing, but it wasn't. That was you after you socked me right in the eyeball. And when I saw you looking like that, I still put your bags at the door. And then we talked for a long time, didn't we? And then you left even though I told you you could stay. And I sat in your hammock for a couple of hours wondering if it was better that way. Then I knew I couldn't let you go. You _had nowhere to go. So I drove about looking for you, thinking I'd find you on a sidewalk downtown covered in your own puke with people stepping over you. And I didn't. I found you in Dead Poets coffee house, sober. And still looking like that. And when I said your name you looked up, and I said "Come home, Deke. Before this doesn't last the night."

'And you said "It's going to last this time, Kio. I promise." And you never drank again. And I stayed with you for two days and nights after that while you went cold turkey off the heroin. That's what we were fighting about, wasn't it? How I poured your Persian brown powder down the sink and broke that needle you were going to jack up with. I knew how powerful it was being hooked on that stuff that night, because it even made you hit _me,_like that. You never went back. I'm sorry it was probably too late by then. But at least you got to go out with one last high at the hospital. I hope you enjoyed it. I couldn't have given you that at home. I thought about it a lot. I went back to Dead Poets yesterday and sat right at our table. It's still there.

'And I knew I had to come here and see you. And bring your nephew. And I had to tell you I'm sorry I didn't grant your dying wish. But honestly, Deke? It wasn't a good one. Me keep you all to myself even when you were dead? Other people did care about you. Some people still do, even if they never met you. Because your story's important. Todd here's like us too. And he's got someone special, and they're having that summer we never got to have a second time. And he knows about you because your brother's trying to be a better person to his son than he was to you. But I think he still plays your song. Oh and now you look. You got you-in-blue all emotional.'

'Nah,' I said, wiping my eyes with my free hand. 'I'm cool.'

'And I'll tell you something else, Deke. This one, he'd never have done your stupid thing and refused to see a doctor, oh hell no he wouldn't.' Akio took his hand off my shoulder and slid it down to my chest. For a man of his age, he had a surprisingly tough hug as pulled my closer and stroked his fingers over my heart. 'So don't you worry about him. He won't be making any of your dumb mistakes. But what am I talking about? We're supposed to have made up for all this. I hope we're friends again. I think after everything I had to forgive you for, you can give me burying you here on the house. And if you disagree, we'll talk about if we ever see each other in some other life. Agreed? Oh yeah, and you'll love this: I've got a daughter now. She's twenty one. I was married. To a woman. You hear that? That's what you made me do, after last time I was here. Just to try and get rid of you for good. And even that didn't do it you motherfucker, you wet raccoon from the hammock who really wanted me.'

I couldn't help it, I laughed.

'Know what else, Deke? I got Todd in your hammock and made him come with that story about you and me.'

'Kio!' I said, laughing even more now.

'And the fox he's with? God help this raccoon, he's found someone who's like you on crack. You know what my neighbour said when I got home yesterday? She said "What have I told you about keeping it down during my kids' nap time? Those two boys you've taken in were howling at half past twelve_._ Like wolves. It was just horrid. Have you no shame your household at all? And how old are they? One of these days you're going to get you put in prison."'

We'd grossed out the neighbours with our noisy sex? Colton would grin with pure joy when he heard that.

'Remember how her mother used to say the same thing? The old bat left the place to her daughter. The one who went to her once and said "Mom, why do the wolf and the raccoon next door like lying on each other in the garden with their pants off?" Remember how crazy she went? Well, her daughter moved in there last year. She couldn't believe I was still alive. She probably wanted good Christian neighbours. Don't worry though. I'm a little more modest nowadays. But not much. And as for your nephew, you wanna hear what Arlo next door said? He's still there too, you know. He's a banker now, it's his summer home. And he caught me on the street last week, and he goes "Woah, A-ki-OH! Who IS that gorgeous young man you've got staying? If I didn't know better, I'd have said....oh, really? No! Seriously? How on this Earth did you find him? Deke had a brother or something?" See, people do remember you. And let them think what they want about me and your nephew. What we've shared these last couple of weeks has been too good to ruin with sex.

'But what would they know? Nobody knows your story apart from the people who matter most. If whatever Heaven is has got a duke box, go put your song on. I still remember how it was playing the night I walked in that bar and saw you putting it on, and we kept looking at each for two beers as if we wondered why we were both alone. You'd put California Dreamin'_by the Mamas and the Papas on next. After our eyes met for a moment you looked away, and I thought maybe it was my night. Then _White Room came on, and I watched you smoke your cigarette and look cool about it, like you were a raccoon version of Clapton himself, or wishing you were, like you had hopes and dreams, and I tried to think of something to say, and I should have just gone over and said all that. And I didn't think you knew I was watching. Until you came over and just said "Hi. I'm Deke. Gonna tell me who you are or are we just going to look at each other all night?" '

Akio stopped. The cemetery was completely still. The sun had started to rise. Birds were singing. The place smelt of orange blossom and sprinkler water and wet grass.

Akio took his arm off me and we separated. He looked at the two cups we'd been carrying, that we'd placed on the path. 'I think it's time for another cup of tea,' he said.

* * *

'I think someone needs a nap,' Akio said, as I tried to drink tea with him at the kitchen table and nearly ended up asleep with my head propped on my arm and elbow. 'Couch or hammock? Or upstairs next to your fox?'

I was surprised Colton was still asleep, and hadn't been waiting at the table with 'Where have you two been? You're disappearing as well now?'

'Couch,' I said, thinking of Deke's request to sleep in the hammock one last time and feeling a touch of something strange run up my spine. I wasn't sure why. I always said I was the least superstitious person going and I never believed much in 'tempting fate' either. Just that something was telling me not to go too deep into Deke's life too fast.

When I woke up it was halfway through the afternoon, and even with my eyes open I felt like I was still half in deep sleep, my body heavy, and I wondered if any of last night and the sunrise walk to the graveyard had happened at all.

I shut my eyes again, not wanting to fall asleep but my body telling me it couldn't be bothered to do anything for me apart from lie here. I wondered if when I got to Akio's age I'd wake up like this every morning. He was rustling around in the kitchen, or at least someone was. I smelt coconut and hot air and a hint of strong green tea. Someone sat down on the opposite couch. I opened my eyes and saw Kaede. She wasn't sitting on the couch though, she was on the edge of the coffee table, holding a plant with big oval leaves, her legs crossed.

'Hey, sleepy raccoon,' she said. 'This is for you. It's a Japanese peace lily.'

'Peace lily? Is it actually called that?'

She gave a slight eye roll, then smiled. 'I should have bought a wake-up lily, if one existed. You look like you just took a coma, not a nap.'

'Uh-huh,' I said.

She took a slow breath in and exhaled even slower. 'I know say shitty things to people sometimes when I'm upset. I make it personal when it shouldn't be. And sometimes I just plain get upset when I oughta just chill. It's not your fault Dad forgot Mum's birthday. He told me about it all, where he went, what he was thinking about. And what you did for him last night. And this morning.' She held out the plant. 'Will you accept my peace offering?'

I sat up and took it from her. 'Thanks,' I said. 'It's...a plant. Sorry, I've never had a plant. How often do I water it?'

'Every day. You can think of me when you're doing it, if you want. And just so you know, I would have said sorry even if Dad hadn't been over this morning and put me on my ass.'

'What?'

'Oh shit. Relax, don't worry, he didn't actually hit me, he could never do that. Putting me on my ass is what Mum and Dad always call it when one of them just makes me sit down on it and listen. Mum called it that one time and it stuck. And neither of them have done it for years. He told me he didn't care if I still wanted to blame your uncle for anything, I wasn't coming in his house like that and taking it out someone he invited in. And then he said he hadn't been to Deke's grave since before he got married to mum and they had me. I really didn't know that. Then he went into why he thought I could judge when I'd never lost someone like that and tried to let it go so I could be with someone else. You get the idea. He was right pain in the ass. And he was right. So here, if you don't like the lily so much I got a failsafe.'

It was already in my lap, a gift bag like it was my birthday or something. In it I found a bottle of Sake, another of Cachaca, a tropical mixer, a packet of Daifuku balls, and tucked at the front was a magazine. I took it out. A stunning, sandy coloured athletic dog in a tight underpants was looking at me seductively from the end of his bed on the cover of Playfur.

I whistled.

'Thought that might be more up your street,' she said. 'Shall we have a flick through? Hmm,' she said, taking the Cachaca out. 'And how about a little nip?' She sniggered. 'I really had to avoid that phrase when I went to Japan. But how about it? Fancy a little nip for breakfast? Seeing as it effectively is your first meal of the day.'

'Avoid it why?' I said, as puzzled by what she'd said as I was by her need to apologise like this. 'You could have just said sorry,' I said. 'You really didn't have to...oh, a little nip for....oh Kaede. Really. That's shocking.'

'But it's put a smile on your face,' she said. 'Besides, I never really thought of it before. So tell your fox it's shocking. He was the one who said it to me when I showed him all this before he went out running and left me with you. And he told me you'd accept my apology as soon as he saw the lily. I think you're his special flower.'

'Colton,' I said. 'Jesus.'

'Yeah, he might as well be, coz I thought I knew how to sock it to someone, but your fox is the master. Telling me you were gonna have a little nip for breakfast. That's one for my diary. Do I actually look that Japanese though? Ooooh, forget about me, check him out.' I'd flicked to a page with a buff arctic wolf on. 'Dad's mum was one of those. Never met her, seen the pics though. Wonder what that makes all my DNA a mix of. Dad calls himself a Japaskan wolf, my mom's partly Siberian. I'm a mutt, right?'

I smiled. 'You're the one who said it.'

We kept flicking through. 'This is a hot issue raccoon, I should have got one for myself. He would. And he would.' She shifted up closer to me and put her hands on my shoulders, and her chin on my right one as well, as if reading over them. 'It's really too bad you like guys, Todd. You're fit. I'd really have liked to fuck you.'

I burst out laughing. 'Do you say sorry to _every_guy like this?'

'No, but it's true. We can still have a go, if you want. Think your fox would mind? I think he'd like it. Most bisexual guys are really just too scared to admit they're gay, but him? I think I've met a handful who really are hot for both and he's one of them. Ever get scared you might lose him to a woman?'

'I've really never thought about it,' I said. 'Besides, wouldn't fucking me be too much like fucking the guy you blamed for your parents' divorce? Does anyone out there in this crazy world do that one?'

'Touché,' she said. 'But I said Deke was a bastard. I never said he wasn't smoking hot. And seeing him in blue? Oooooh, I tell you, you do it for me raccoon. And watching you flick through Playfur is super-cute. And let me ask you something: why do you think Dad's had so many partners in his life? Because he's not afraid to cut through the shit and just ask. Who do you think I learned this from?'

'You're pretty good looking yourself,' I said. 'There. I said it. And now I'm keeping my pants on. I think you should too. You wouldn't want your dad to come home and catch you fucking Deke in Blue, wouldya? And by the way, could you just call me Todd? Coz it's kinda weird that I look like my uncle. It's like...'

'Like your not really your Dad's kid?' She took her hands off my shoulders. 'Sorry. That was a little personal.'

'No,' I said. 'That's exactly what it feels like, even though I know for sure it's not possible. Kio said you were sharp.'

Now she looked surprised. 'Did he?'

'In a manner of speaking. Maybe he meant sharp as in cutting. Like the way you run your kitchen. Head chef at 21? That can't be easy. So respect.' I held up my fist. She pumped it. 'And barefooters rule.'

She ran her foot over mine, then tried pinning it to the floor with hers, and it turned into a game until we were both laughing like we'd never shared a cross word last night, or ever.

'Really though, you didn't have to buy me all this. Okay, don't get me wrong, it's nice and everything. But I guess because I like the magazine a little bit more I don't get the lily now.'

'No, I think you can have both.' She stayed snuggled up to me. 'Why don't we have a look at the centre fold? If it's just friends and hands off anything but shoulders then I at least want to see your dick twitch in your pants at something I bought you.'

She needn't have worried then. When I turned to the centre fold, there, in all his brown, blue and orange glory, was Trick.

'Hello!' Kaede said, her hands on my shoulders again. 'That delivered a package downtown, huh?'

I stared at Trick, his back and butt facing up, head turned to the side, and the naughtiest smile I'd ever seen on anyone but Colton on his face, his dick between his legs and his tail arced upwards in a curve, as if inviting a judgement about which was more impressive. He wasn't hard, and not oversized, but his balls were big enough for anyone to know what he could pack if he got that thing inside someone.

Too bad Colton couldn't hear my engine run right now.

'I've met him,' I said.

'No shit?' Kaede said. 'Friend of yours?'

'Sort of,' I said. 'It's his car out there. Colton borrowed it.'

'Seriously? I really didn't know when I bought that. I just saw Channel Seven Otters on the cover and I remembered how they've been big lately, in just about every sense, and I thought you'd like it. So you've borrowed his car? Cute. I think you should ask that cute boy to tickle your fancy a little. You only live once, right?'

I looked at the surrounding pages, full of poses from the 'Channel Seven Otters' as the cover called them (how had I missed it? The sandy dog and his pose? I imagined him and Trick together and then wondered why, deciding it was a bit of a fantasy mismatch.) This was at least as hot as watching them, but something was wrong with it. A feeling I had. A bit like I was searching for an elusive thought, just like Akio had yesterday.

'Well...yeah,' I said. 'Sure. Why not? I think if that otter tickled me, tickling would actually be enough. I've swum with him already. He came to my club. It's a bit of a story. Wanna hear?'

Too late though. The front door opened, and Colton came in looking like he'd set another sub-25 to boast about. He looked at me and Kaede with her chin on my shoulder and the magazine. 'Ding ding! Who are we hot for? You two are friends again now then? Cute. Gonna let me see? Wooooah-ho-ho-ho! Trick-ster! Why didn't you get hold of this before you even knew about it? Seriously, I think my heart just skipped. I gotta take a shower.' He put the magazine on the table, still opened at the centre. 'I think you'd better come up and make sure I'm thinking of you under all that water_,'_ he said.

Akio came in now, a CD in a case in his hand. 'Hey you lot. Finished it.' He held up the CD to Kaede. 'You were right, it was a good idea. I'm all good again. About everything. You wanna watch this with Todd?'

'Watch what?' I said.

Akio paused for a moment, like he was coming down from whatever buzz he'd come in with a little bit. 'I didn't tell you about this because I didn't know if I could ever give it to you. Because it meant me looking at it again, for the first time in about twenty years. I didn't even know if the old video tape would play. I was praying, when I got the machine out and tried it. But I got it onto this.' He handed me the CD. 'I think you can guess who's on it.'

'I....think I'll go take that shower,' Colton said, and was out of the room quickly.

'You told him it's him who reminds you of Deke, right?' I said.

'I hadn't expected him to feel quite so odd about it, I admit,' Akio said.

'He'll only feel odd until he feels disappointed,' I said. 'That you spent the last two weeks getting him stoned instead of getting him off.'

'Well, if he wants the hammock treatment all he has to do is....oooooh, hello Mr Otter!' Akio picked up the magazine and his eyes went a little wider. He shook his whole coat and grinned. 'I could go swimming with you any day of the week. Theodore 'Trick' Dixon. Great name.'

'Channel Seven,' I said. 'Eleven PM. Wait till you see what he does with his brother.'

That was it. There was the feeling I'd had. Trick and Dolphin practically operated as one person. They'd even done it like that when they'd met me, off set and away from work. Now here was Trick in _Playfur's_most important picture. On his own. And somehow all the more inviting and seductive for it.

Kaede took her hands and chin off me and lolled her head back on top of the back cushion. 'What have I told you about encouraging him?'

'What's Deke doing on this film then?' I said. 'Is it safe for your daughter's eyes?'

'Just watch it,' Akio said. 'I'm going for my nap now. Been up all night and everything.' He opened the leather case, still on the arm of the chair, took out a joint and went outside. I knew without looking he was going to the hammock.

* * *

When the picture came into focus, there was just grass and Akio's bare feet. Then a blurred outline, then Colby came into focus. He looked stoned, sleepy, and happy.

'Is that that stupid camera again? Fuck off, wolfy, it doesn't work. Yeah okay, hi everyone, this is a movie and we're gonna call it Akio's House.' Colby waved to the camera. 'We're a bunch of stoned furs whose parents don't approve of our life. Apart from Akio the Japaskan wolf who's sober because he's oooooooh trying to make "art," and his parents...actually, do they know where you are right now?'

'Yeah Colby,' Akio said from behind the camera. 'They sent me the fifty bucks to buy the camera, show them what fun I'm having.'

'Yeah well hi Akio's mum and dad, your son's a screwup just like me. Seriously man, why don't you go film your favourite? He's right over there and he's asleep.'

'Deke's not my favourite,' Akio said. 'I'm just his.'

I held my hands to my mouth at the sight of my uncle asleep in the hammock, even from a distance with the lens out of focus. Akio had never as much as hinted that there was video footage of him, and only now, a good five minutes after he'd given me the CD, did I really take it in: this might just be the only film anyone had of him.

Deke was indeed asleep, probably after smoking a fair amount. I could almost smell it; there seemed to be a film of smoke over the camera lens. Or perhaps that was just the age of it, and how I'd grown up with HD cameras. But for an old camera, this footage was really pretty clear as soon as Akio got the focus right, and just held the camera on Deke asleep and breathing deeply in his hammock. I'd half expected him to be naked, but he was wearing a pair of shorts that looked like he'd made them himself, with little idea how to sew.

'Hey sleepin' raccoon, why don't you wake up out of that weed coma for me?'

'I'm not stoned, Kio. Wish I was.' Deke smiled as Akio rubbed his stomach. 'Why don't you go annoy Colby with that thing. What do you wanna film me for?'

'It's a moment in time,' Akio said. 'When you're big all over the world this might be valuable one day. This is the first time somebody filmed you. Why don't you open your eyes and say hi? Maybe somebody important's gonna pay a lot of money for this one day.'

'Yeah right,' Deke said. He opened his eyes and looked right into the camera and smiled. 'I bet this is just Kio's jerk-material one day when we're both old and fucked out. Hi Kio when he's old! Hi me when I'm probably still with this idiot! Or hi whoever else you are. Hope this makes you happy somehow.'

'Oh man,' I said. Kaede took my hand.

'Am I cute?' Deke said, wriggling himself into a pose. 'Would you?'

'I_do_,' Akio said. 'Wanna say hi to your folks? Maybe we should mail this back home.'

'Aw Kio, don't kill it. I was kinda liking this.' He dropped the pose and just lay there. 'Okay so here we are. What's your movie about? Me? Where are my cigarettes?' Deke stretched down and found a packet of Lucky Strike and a zippo. Shit, no wonder Colton reminded Akio of him. The way he lit up was almost identical, right down to the angle of the cigarette in his mouth, and the way he puffed out the first drag with it still in his mouth. Except Deke did it in a slower, more drawn out way. And he held the lighter in his left hand, same as Colton. I thought about him smoking like a poser, sitting on a bar stool with White Room playing in the background like Akio had said, and it almost seemed like Deke wanted to be a fox. He'd even styled his fur a bit like one, except when slightly stoned in a hammock I knew he hadn't styled anything. He lay with his arms hanging down, occasionally taking a drag, like he'd half forgotten he had the cigarette going at all, and all the time he was smiling lazily at Akio's camera.

'You just gonna film my pretty face all day, Kio? Why don't you get in?'

'The hammock won't hold two of us. Especially not when one of us is a fat old lard-stuffin' raccoon and it barely holds you as it is.'

'Fuck you,' Deke laughed, letting smoke drain from his nostrils afterwards like his head was going to take off. 'How can I be pudgy when you barely make enough to feed me but you can afford to buy that fuckin' camera?'

'You're pudgy because since you stopped jacking up you've actually started eating the food I can afford,' Akio said. 'And I know you like donuts and that's why I bought you some this morning. Talk about replace one addiction with another.'

Deke gave him a more serious, searching look now. 'Yeah, okay man. You know I'm grateful, right? And being sober's okay. There, I said it and you got it on camera. Happy? Now you can shame me if I ever have a relapse. And yes I went to my meeting this morning. I hugged a great big polar bear who _stunk_of BO like a high school locker room, and I _meant_that hug coz we both got "problems." Happier? And I'm doing it for me and not just you. That enough icing on the cake for you?'

'I want a candle, too.'

'Wolves. Enough's never enough. Get in. I'll give you the candle till you start a howl that spreads through the whole neighbourhood.'

Akio got into the hammock, clumsily on purpose so Deke thought he was about to tip out and was holding onto the sides. Soon he was pointing the camera at his feet on Deke's chest, as Deke gave his paws a look, then a bit of a massage, then sniffed them. 'Man, Kio, do you even shower like ever? That's even worse than the time I woke up and found you'd put one of your sneakers over my nose.'

I laughed. That was a good one. Colton was going to suffer next time I was in that sort of mood.

Akio tickled Deke on the sides with his feet, then kept brushing his face with them, and Deke laughed like he was half his age. 'Seriously Kio, what are we making this film for?'

'Does there have to be a reason? Or are you just looking for me to give you some line like 'I wanna keep you forever' that makes you stick your fingers down your throat? I'm just filming you because I want to film you. And don't take your pants off, you idiot. What if your grandkids see this one day?'

'Yeah Kio. My sex life consists of poking your wolf butt, and I'm gonna have grandkids.'

'Adoption?'

Deke laughed. 'Kio, we can only just look after each other. Who the fuck'd ever give us somebody else's kid to raise even if they were desperate? Look at the pair of us. Jaysus gown saynd us ta Hayl, we _baad_exaymple for theym youngn's.' Deke did such a good deep south accent it was like the voice he talked in for Akio was really all an act, and he was trying to lose every trace of his old life. 'You weren't serious were ya Kio?'

'Nah. The day I've got kids, it'll be because you drove me to being with a woman,' Akio said.

'Oooof,' I said, looking at Kaede.

'What?' She shrugged. 'So Deke did drive him to it somehow. I'm alive, aren't I? What's to complain about?'

'Hey,' Deke said. 'You wanna film me? Lemme get my lard-stuffin' 'coon butt out of this thing and let's do a song.'

The camera wheeled around and then pointed at the sky for a moment, then Akio switched it off, and it came back on with Deke tuning a guitar up. There were other people in the background.

Deke played a slow, chugging twelve bar blues kind of riff. 'I kinda made this up thinking about something funny,' he said. 'I found this rabbit once, an oldschool food-rabbit, not a real one. 'Weeeeell I found a rotting rabbit....it had its legs in the air.' he played a riff on the root chord, and switched up to the next. 'Yes I did I found a rotting rabbit, it had its legs in the air.' Riff.'Iiiiiiii had to move where I was workin'....the stench was more than I could bear.' 7th chords and a play on his theme. 'Weeeeell I put it through the wood-chipper, that just made it worse.' Riff. 'Yes I did I put it through the motherfuckin' wood-chipper, but that just made it worse...oh yes it did.' 7th chords. 'Well there was blood and guts everywhere...I guess I should have thoughta that first.' Colby joined him on camera now, took up the rhythm part and told him to 'Take it.' A good three minutes of guitar solo later and they both stopped.

'What, you don't got another verse?' Colby said, taking his cigarette out of his mouth.

'I didn't get that far yet,' Deke said. 'Any ideas?'

'Nah man I'm too stoned,' Colby said. 'But the Rotting Rabbit Blues? Man, Robert Johnson himself couldnta written that!'

'Robert Johnson wouldnta been that fucking dumb,' someone said.

'Fuck you Jeremy,' Deke said. 'I aint dumb.'

'So what was that about?' the voice belonging to Jeremy said. 'You actually fed a dead bunny through a woodchipper when you were a kid or something? Man your parents musta thought you were fucked up.'

'My brother did it,' Deke said. 'God bless him, he was that fuckin' dumb. And it _did_make a total fuckin' mess everywhere. And after he did it, he twisted the chip-spout round and covered me in it. Dumb fuck thought it was funny as hell, I went back in our house stinkin' of rotting dead animal and our mom, she was cooking and she...what? What you all looking at me like that for?'

'You've got a brother,' Deke said. 'And what, you grew up in the woods? Your dad was a forester or a ranger or something?'

Deke went from laughing to realising why everyone had gone quiet: he'd never talked about any of this before. 'Shit,' he said quietly.

'Where_are_ you from, Deke?' Akio said.

'Ah jeez Kio, I thought we were gonna record some songs, not interview me like I'm some big star already.' He looked like he was thinking about home though, and that look almost looked like some sort of sickness for it. 'You really wanna know where I'm from? Why? What does it matter where someone's from? It only matters where they're going. So I wrote a bit of a song about something funny. That's all it is to me. One funny memory. Before my brother grew up to be an asshole and didn't like me no more.'

Oh boy. This wasn't one for Dad's viewing then. I probably wouldn't tell him about it ever.

'That him you've been mailing all those postcards to?' Someone said.

'Ah Jesus Joey, will ya fuck off already?' Deke said. 'So what if it was? It don't mean I like him.' Deke re-tuned his guitar. 'Okay fine, I got a brother, and he really did once shower me in rotting rabbit with a chipper. Our dad was a cotton farmer. Alabama. It's like I said, where you're going's what matters. Those guys aint going nowhere but a cotton farm followed by a graveyard. But I've told my brother he oughta come here, coz maybe there is some hope he'll escape from all that and do something with himself. And when we were kids together I _did_like him. I loved him. Which is why I don't know why he didn't understand me. Or maybe he did and he just wouldn't say it. Who cares though? I'm here making music and they aint. Everybody happy?'

For a moment, nobody showed signs of any emotion, because everyone was quiet as Deke played around with the guitar for a minute.

'Stuff like that's what makes songs that matter, Deke,' Akio said. It sounded like he was the only one still there now.

'Well that aint for today, Kio. I got a song for you that someone else wrote that I wish I wrote. I've been trying to write something better all year and I can't.' He started up with a melody I'd heard before.

This was another song from Dad's records, I realised, any by the time Deke got to the chorus I was singing along with it. '"Every time I tried to tell you the words just came out wrong...so I had to say I love you...in a song."'

'That song was for me?' Akio said when Deke finished it.

'Yeah,' Deke said. 'If we could get married Kio, I'd ask you.'

The silence said it all. 'You really would?'

'You think it'll ever be possible?' Deke said. 'Can this shitty old world ever give guys like us that kind of thing one day?'

'Course it could,' Akio said. 'If we change it.'

'So will you marry me, Kio? When we've changed it?'

'Course I will.'

Deke and Akio weren't alone. That much was evident from the sounds all around them. Some of them adoring, some of them simply gobsmacked.

'Woah, guys, that's like...you really think that could ever happen?' Colby (or it might have been Jeremy) said.

Someone took the camera from Akio, who appeared on it a moment later. Deke put down the guitar so they could kiss, and that kiss lasted a long time, even for me watching it on tape.

'Congratulations guys, I guess. Think you can change the world?'

'Well now we're engaged,' Deke said. 'So we're just gonna have to.' He started up another song I didn't know. 'We can chaaayyiaaange the wooooorld...if you believe in justice, if you believe in freedom-'

'Not_Please come to Chicago_ again,' Colby said. 'Do you know any songs that aren't by those three hippies?'

'Hundreds. But they're all by Jerry Garcia instead. Now turn that fuckin' thing off and let's party. And y'all gotta make sure I stay sober, remember? Coz my life with this here wolf kinda depends on it now, and he's more important than you guys seeing the old Deke get drunk as a cooter and do somethin' stupid. You hear?'

'Know what Deke?' Akio said. 'I think the neighbours are using that spy-hole through the fence again. Shall we consummate our engagement for them?' He was already taking Deke's pants off.

Jeremy's voice: 'I think I'll just turn this o-'

Cut to black.

'Jeez lou_ise,_' I said. 'So...man, what was your dad like, the day it all became legal?'

'He went for one of his walks,' Kaede said. 'Said I wouldn't see him again until late. He didn't come back for two days. He sent me messages that he was okay and then all he said when he came home was he'd been with some friends. Well I guess that sort of explains that one. I just always thought he'd got drunk all weekend and didn't know much about where he'd been.'

I looked out of the big windows and glass door at Akio asleep in the hammock between the trees, and for a moment I couldn't time, the world seemed completely still.

'I was wrong saying you shouldn't have come here. Thank to you it's like he's finally at some sort of peace with all this.' She turned off the TV. 'Thank you.'

'I don't think it's anything I did,' I said. 'Apart from maybe turn up.'

Kaede rolled her eyes, as if my modesty was false. 'Dad doesn't believe there's anything after this life. I think sometimes he wants to, but he doesn't. But he doesn't believe that someone like Deke could just stop existing either. That's why he kept trying to trace him, hoping there was somebody else out there he mattered that much to. He matters to you,_and your dad, and that story you both put out there on your site. I read it all. Deke's part of _you now. So Dad won't get to his time and think that everything about why Deke mattered stopped with him.'

I wanted to tell her she was thinking about it all too hard. Except looking at Akio in the hammock, I decided he'd been wrong: his daughter did get it. She wasn't thinking too hard at all.

She looked at her gift to me, still in the bag. 'Now how about that little nip for breakfast?'